Blog Archives
A Saturday List To Think About And Comment Upon
Please read this list and then describe what thought comes to mind in the comment section:
- Glenn Beck
- Ron Paul
- Rush Limbaugh
- Donald Trump
- Michelle Malkin
- Newt Gingrich
- Ann Coulter
- Michele Bachmann
- Sean Hannity
- Sarah Palin
- Laura Ingraham
- Rand Paul
- Tucker Carlson
- Rudi Giuliani
- Christine O’Donnell
- Larry Craig
- Michael Savage
- David Vitter
- Scott Brown
- Dick Morris
- Fox News
- Dick Cheney
- Tea Party
Here’s what comes to my mind:
Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.
Strangers In The Night song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hlSbSKNk9f0&feature=related
STRANGE ONES ON THE RIGHT
(sung to the Frank Sinatra song “Strangers In The Night”)
Strange ones on the right,
Fox News romancers
Not so very bright,
With our finances
This Tea Party love
Should be viewed as taboo
Palin shouting lies
And fear inciting
Rand Paul is hostile
And so damn frightening
Boehner has no heart
McConnell has no clue
Strange ones on the right,
Abnormal people
They are strange ones on the right
Not one sane moment
They should be in a freak-show
Little do they know
It would just enhance our day
If like Bristol they’d dance away and –
And on Fox every night,
They’re all together
Lovers on the right
In love forever
It’s an ugly sight
Those strange ones on the right
(Tea-Bagging break)
Don’t look now just glance away
Here comes their jailbird Tom Delay
You can join their fight
And hang together
Only if you’re white
Birds of a feather
Taking their last flight
Those strange ones on the right
Sunday Mid-Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 67
Just a few newsworthy events (and comments thereon) that have been making their way through the political universe this past week. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful day!
BREAKING NEWS: The family of Christina Taylor Green, the nine-year-old girl killed when a gunman opened fire on Rep. Gabrielle Giffords at a “Congress on Your Corner” event, has donated some of her organs, and they are already saving another child’s life. Some of her organs were transplanted to a little girl from Boston.
THIS JUST IN: Speaking of transplants, it has been reported that former Vice President and Torturer in Chief, Dick Cheney may require a heart transplant. Is anyone else out there surprised to learn that he had one in the first place?
BREAKING NEWS: Joe Lieberman, the sometimes Democrat, sometimes Republican Senator from Connecticut has announced that he will retire at the end of his term. At least this way his dismissal from the Senate will be on his own terms and not those of the Connecticut voters. Hey Joe, don’t let the door hit you in one of your two faces on the way out!
THIS JUST IN: North Dakota’s Blue-Dog Democratic Senator Kent Conrad has also announced that he will not seek re-election. Conrad was one of the Democrats who helped sink the public option during the health care reform debates. Hey Kent, please take note of what we had to say to fellow traitor Joe Lieberman just above!
BREAKING NEWS: Speaking of health care reform, the state of Vermont may be moving towards a single payer system. The Bennington Banner reports that Vermont’s congressional delegation joined Governor Peter Shumlin Tuesday to announce legislation that would allow states to seek federal health care waivers in 2014, and the flexibility to craft their own state-level health care plans. Landmark health care reform legislation signed into law last year by President Barack Obama provides states the option of seeking a federal waiver to opt out of some requirements of the bill as long as certain standards are maintained. That provision was sought by U.S. Sen. Bernie Sanders, a Vermont independent. Shumlin, a Democrat sworn in to office earlier this month, promised during the campaign that he would seek a single-payer health care system for the state. Let’s hear it for the progressive state of Vermont!
THIS JUST IN: The polar opposite of Vermont of course, is the backward state of Alabama. Speaking on Martin Luther King Jr. Day in the very church where Dr. King once pastored, new Alabama Governor Robert Bentley gave a speech in which he said that those who have not accepted Jesus Christ as their savior are not his “brothers.” How is that for an all inclusive Republican umbrella?
BREAKING NEWS: The Reagan boys may be bickering as to whether or not their father, Ronald Reagan had lost his mind while in office, but former CBS reporter Leslie Stahl knows the truth. In the book she published in 2000, Reporting Live, Stahl recounts a disturbing encounter she had with Reagan in the summer of 1986. Stahl was finishing up a stint as CBS News’ White House correspondent, and she was awarded the customary farewell audience with the president. She wrote,
“…Reagan didn’t seem to know who I was. He gave me a distant look with those milky eyes and shook my hand weakly. Oh, my, he’s gonzo, I thought. I have to go out on the lawn tonight and tell my countrymen that the president of the United States is a doddering space cadet. My heart began to hammer with the import…I was aware of the delicacy with which I would have to write my script. But I was quite sure of my diagnosis.”
THIS JUST IN: We are happy to report that both Glenn Beck and Sean Hannity had their nationally syndicated radio shows dropped from WPHT in Philadelphia, which is the second radio station to drop both of the conservative commentators. A few weeks ago Beck was dropped from station WOR in New York, and Hannity was dropped from KSL Radio in Utah. Speculation is that poor ratings and an industry-wide advertiser desire to distance itself from the rhetoric spouted by hate radio may have been the catalyst for the cancellations.
BREAKING NEWS: The most recent Washington Post/ABC poll reveals that 52% of Americans now hold unfavorable views of the Tea Party which is a new high. Only 35% like the Tea Baggers which is the same percentage that hold favorable views of Saudi Arabia. Shockingly, more Americans favor Russia (47%) and socialism (36%) over the Tea Party.
THIS JUST IN: Lynnrockets is by no means a fan of Howard Stern, but he uttered one of the more memorable lines about Sarah Palin this week. No, we are not referring to his expletive-laced diatribe against the Queen of Quit. We liked this one simple sentence: “This woman is a vomit.” Short and to the point.
GO PACKERS!!!
Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody which features the whole bunch of conservatives.
California Dreamin’ song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2xN9r0bWe78
CONSERVATIVE DREAMIN’
(sung to the Mamas & The Papas song “California Dreamin’”)
All their shirts are brown
(All their shirts are brown)
And their hair is grey
(And their hair is grey)
Listen to them talk
(Listen to them talk)
As they loudly pray
(As they loudly pray)
Scandal is their norm
(Scandal is their norm)
They have one every day
(They have one every day)
Conservative dreamin’
(Conservative dreamin’)
And politics of hate
Members of John Birch
Some won’t admit they’re gay
But when they get down on their knees
(Get down on their knees)
That’s when they like to play
(When they like to play)
These slimy creatures should be told
(Creatures should be told)
Membership’s gone away
(Members gone away)
Conservative dreamin’
(Conservative dreamin’)
Has led them all astray
(musical interlude)
Glenn Beck is a clown
(Glenn Beck is a clown)
What does Limbaugh weigh?
(What does Limbaugh weigh?)
Palin cannot talk
(Palin cannot talk)
She’s no Tina Fey
(She’s no Tina Fey)
Somebody should tell her
(Somebody should tell her)
To just go away
(To just go away)
Conservative dreamin’
(Conservative dreamin’)
Has become so cliché
(Conservative dreamin’)
Has lost all its cache´
(Conservative dreamin’)
Drives voters all away
Whatever Happened To Baby-Cheney?
Liz "Mini-Me" Cheney and Dick "Dr. Evil" Cheney
Just when you thought that you had heard the last from former Vice President and Torturer-in-Chief Dick Cheney’s daughter, up pops her venomous head. On Wednesday, Liz Cheney donned her horn-ensconced battle helmet and made one of the most idiotic hawk-like pronouncements in recent history. It was an honest to goodness head-scratcher.
Liz Cheney’s statement followed a report in The Washington Post which quoted a portion of journalist Bob Woodward’s new book detailing the Obama administration’s deliberations over U.S. strategy in Afghanistan and more specifically with the threat of future terrorist attacks on American soil. Obama told Woodward,
“We can absorb a terrorist attack. We’ll do everything we can to prevent it, but even a 9/11, even the biggest attack ever . . . we absorbed it and we are stronger,”
Let’s disect and analyze what Obama said. He explained that the United States is strong enough to survive any type of terrorist attack including one on the scale of the 9/11 attacks. Indeed, he warned any future terrorists that not only will his administration “do everything we can to prevent it”, but he also explained that even the 9/11 attacks did not topple the government and we are now an even stronger and more committed nation in the battle against terrorism. That sounds like a pretty strong warning addressed to any future would-be terrorists, doesn’t it?
Well, it sounds like that to any sane person, but as we know, Liz Cheney has proven to be reality challenged. Remember, this is the woman that still contends that “waterboarding” is both safe and legal. So, what was Liz Cheney’s take on President Obama’s quote? She said that the…
“comment suggests an alarming fatalism on the part of President Obama and his administration. Once again the President seems either unwilling or unable to do what it takes to keep this nation safe. The President owes the American people an explanation.”
The President expressed “an alarming fatalism”? He is “either unwilling or unable to do what it takes to keep this nation safe”? Liz Cheney is a certifiable crazy woman! If memory serves us correctly, wasn’t it her father’s administration that was actually either “unwilling or unable” to keep the nation safe during the nine month’s leading up to and including September 11, 2001? Apparently in Cheney-World you are expressing fatalism and not safeguarding your nation as President if you threaten any potential would-be terrorists with the warning that the United States withstood the worst attack they could conjure up and is even stronger and more committed to fight back since that moment. But you are blameless and strong if your administration was actually in power and was “either unwilling or unable to do what it takes to keep this nation safe” when the country was actually attacked by terrorists. That reasoning is so warped that it is almost Palinesque.
Where was the young Cheney’s outrage when shortly after the actual 9/11 attacks, then-President Bush actually goaded any future terrorists to “Bring it On!”? He may as well have added, “I double dare ya!” Honestly, where was Liz Cheney and her criticism then? Bush did not express a sense of fatalism that there might be another attack. Instead, he actually enticed another terrorist attack. But Little-Liz Cheney was silent.
If I were a supporter or donated to Cheney’s “Keep America Safe” foundation, at this point I would begin questioning my own sanity.
Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s very topical song parody.
Welcome To My Nightmare song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3OGM4FdpJFc
WELCOME TO MY NIGHTMARE
(sung to the Alice Cooper song “Welcome To My Nightmare”)
Welcome to my nightmare
You ain’t seen nothin’ like it
I think you’re gonna feel
Something’s wrong
A cerebral vacation
Republicans need sedation
Their mouths will be filled with foam
Before too long
Welcome to my nightmare, ohh
Welcome to my breakdown
Does Lizzie Cheney scare you?
That’s just the way they are
In Red State towns
They sweat and laugh and scream there
Mann Coulter’s their wet dream there
He really makes them feel
Right at home, there
Welcome to my breakdown, ohh
You’re welcome to my nightmare, yeah
(musical interlude)
Welcome to my nightmare
You know I just don’t like it
G.O.P. makes me feel
I don’t belong
They lie and shout and scream there
And Palin is their queen there
They all giggle and squeal
At her throne, there
Welcome to my nightmare, ohh
Welcome to my breakdown
Yeah!
(great instrumental fade out)
Tales From Cheney’s Darkside
Everybody remembers when Dick Cheney justified the torture of prisoners by claiming that sometimes it is necessary to venture over to the dark side. Well, this is the first in an ongoing series of articles about Dick Cheney’s “Dark Side”.
It seems like only yesterday, when on February 11, 2006, then Vice President Dick Cheney shot his 78 year old longtime friend and attorney, Harry Whittington in the face while hunting. We all remember that it seemed as if a full blown cover-up was in effect when we learned that the incident was not reported to the local authorities for hours and that even the dimwit George W. Bush was not notified immediately by Cheney’s cronies. The story got even better when the public began to hear stories that Cheney was drinking shortly before the hunt. Best of all, however, was when the victim, Whittingham, ended up apologizing to Cheney for “ruining his (i.e. Cheney’s) day“ or something to that effect.
Boy, we really do miss those good old days.
If any readers would like to suggest another episode from Cheney’s “Dark Side”, please post same on the comment board. Please, oh pretty please?
Janie’s Got A Gun song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=paBNkcaq2BA
CHENEY’S GOT A GUN
(sung to the Aerosmith song “Janie’s Got A Gun”)
Dumb, dumb, dumb, Dickie what have you done
Dumb, dumb, dumb, that’s the sound of your gun
Dumb, dumb, dumb, Dickie what have you done
Dumb, dumb, dumb, that’s the sound, that’s the sound…
Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah…
Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah…
Cheney’s got a gun
Cheney’s got a gun
He’s having lots of fun
While drinking out in the sun
What did the VP do?
Nobody’s saying, “boo”
They say while he was out huntin’,
He shot his buddy in the face
He should have seen it comin’
Cuz that Cheney had a gun
And the drinkin’ sure made him a waste
Cheney’s got a gun
Cheney’s got a gun
The cover-up’s begun
Those chicken-hawks are on the run
What did Dick Cheney do?
Will his best buddy sue?
He gun blasted Harry Whittington
And then told him to shut his mouth
Cheney told him not to say a peep
Or he would take the big sleep
That’s the way we handle things down South
Run away, run away from the blame
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
Run away, run away from the blame
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Run away, run away, run, run, run away
Cheney’s got a gun
Cheney’s got a gun
The cover-up’s begun
This guy would tell lies to a nun
What did W do?
That jerk didn’t have a clue
Bush had to let him off easy
Cuz he needs Dick to be his brain
Bush says we gotta go on TV
But Dick is such a sleaze
He’ll find someone else to pin the blame
Run away, run away from the blame
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
Run away, run away from the blame
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Run away, run away, run, run away
Cheney’s got a gun
Cheney’s got a gun
Cheney’s got a gun
Dick and George are on the run
Cheney’s got a gun
Shootin’ folks is so fun
Now Dick and George are on the run (Cheney, Cheney what’s your problem)
Cuz Cheney’s got a gun (Tell me it ain’t right)
Cheney’s got a gun ( Bush is Cheney’s little Robin)
The cover-up’s begun (Who will Cheney shoot tonight)
Chicken-hawks on the run
Cheney’s got a gun
Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 42
Just a few newsworthy events and comments thereon that have been making their way through the political universe this past week. Please chuckle a bit before enjoying Fathers’ Day.
BREAKING NEWS: This week’s edition of “The Other Crazy Carolina” features North Carolina mountain man, Tim Peeler who claims to have encountered Bigfoot. Rather than describe the situation, let’s just go straight to the video, shall we…
THIS JUST IN: This week’s edition of “Republicans Living In A World Of Fiction” features Pat Buchanan. He not only defends “Brain Fartin'” Joe Barton’s apology to BP for having to cough up $20 Billion for an oil spill victims’ escrow fund, but likens Attorney General Eric Holder to the fictional Godfather enforcer Luca Brasi making “a deal they couldn’t refuse”. This is just the latest example of Republicans like Dick Cheney so often defending torture in the event of a 24 like ticking time bomb. What’s next, will Sarah Palin compare Barack Obama to the “Smoke Monster” from Lost?
BREAKING NEWS: Oops! We spoke too soon. This week’s second edition of “Republicans Living In A World Of Fiction” features conservative pundit Ann “The Man” Coulter. While appearing as a guest on the Fox network’s The O’Reilly Factor, the Coulter guy began comparing liberals to children who supposedly think that President Obama is either the tooth fairy or Santa Claus. Keep trying Coulter but you’ll never out-crazy Beck, Palin and Bachmann.
THIS JUST IN: This week’s edition of “Republicans Doing The Flip Flop” features California Gubernatorial candidate Meg Whitman. You might remember that during the primary, Whitman supported a no amnesty and zero tolerance posture towards illegal immigration in an effort to grab the conservative vote. However, now that she has secured the Republican spot, she must cater to the vast number of California Hispanics. Hence, she has released a campaign ad in which she portrays herself as “the Republican who opposed the Arizona (racist immigrant) law”. Nice try Meg. We are sure you will be embraced by the Spanish speaking community.
BREAKING NEWS: This week’s edition of “You Can Run But You Can’t Hide” features Sarah Palin the former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska. After months of requests from reporters, California State University, Stanislaus (rhymes with Santa Claus) on Friday agreed to allow members of the media to attend a fundraiser next week Palin. The unusually secretive reality tv host and fence builder will now be on public display for the world to ridicule. Just wondering, but will they be serving word salad at the event?
THIS JUST IN: This week’s edition of “Do As I Say, Not As I Do” features Florida’s Republican Gubernatorial candidate Marco “Polo” Rubio. You might recall that Rubio has been basing his campaign on fiscal conservatism and he repeatedly criticizes the Obama administration for spending money that it does not have. Well, a funny thing happened on the way to election day. Rubio is reportedly facing foreclosure on a Tallahassee home that he stopped making mortgage payments on last February. Tsk, tsk, tsk. Maybe Charlie Crist will rent him a room.
BREAKING NEWS: TPM/Muckraker gives us ” The 7 Dumbest Things BP Has Said About The Spill – – So Far.”
- “The Gulf of Mexico is a very big ocean. The amount of volume of oil and dispersant we are putting into it is tiny in relation to the total water volume.”
- “everything we can see at the moment suggests that the overall environmental impact of this will be very, very modest.”
- BP CEO Tony Hayward says, “Y’know, I’d like my life back,”
- BP Chairman Carl-Henric Svanberg told the Financial Times on May 25 — his first newspaper interview since the April 20 Deepwater Horizon explosion — that his company still has a future in the U.S. because BP is “big and important.”
- “The oil is on the surface,” Hayward said. “There aren’t any plumes.”
- BP COO Doug Suttles told the Associated Press on June 8 that the oil leak should slow to “a relative trickle” soon.
- “I care about the small people. I hear comments sometimes that large oil companies are greedy companies or don’t care, but that is not the case at BP. We care about the small people.”
THIS JUST IN: This week’s edition of “Tepid Tea” features Mark Williams. The conservative radio talk show host and prominent Tea Party activist is giving up his role as the chairman of the Tea Party Express. It seems that even this bigoted jack-ass can read the tea leaves and see that the Tea-Baggers are on the way out. The Tea Party will be remembered as a flash in the pan.
Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody which features the whole bunch of conservatives.
California Dreamin’ song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2xN9r0bWe78
CONSERVATIVE DREAMIN’
(sung to the Mamas & The Papas song “California Dreamin’”)
All their shirts are brown
(All their shirts are brown)
And their hair is grey
(And their hair is grey)
Listen to them talk
(Listen to them talk)
As they loudly pray
(As they loudly pray)
Scandal is their norm
(Scandal is their norm)
They have one every day
(They have one every day)
Conservative dreamin’
(Conservative dreamin’)
And politics of hate
Members of John Birch
Some won’t admit they’re gay
But when they get down on their knees
(Get down on their knees)
That’s when they like to play
(When they like to play)
These slimy creatures should be told
(Creatures should be told)
Membership’s gone away
(Members gone away)
Conservative dreamin’
(Conservative dreamin’)
Has led them all astray
(musical interlude)
Glenn Beck is a clown
(Glenn Beck is a clown)
What does Limbaugh weigh?
(What does Limbaugh weigh?)
Palin cannot talk
(Palin cannot talk)
She’s no Tina Fey
(She’s no Tina Fey)
Somebody should tell her
(Somebody should tell her)
To just go away
(To just go away)
Conservative dreamin’
(Conservative dreamin’)
Has become so cliché
(Conservative dreamin’)
Has lost all its cache´
(Conservative dreamin’)
Drives voters all away
Torturer In Chief Rears His Ugly Head
This week former Decider in Chief, George W. Bush admitted (finally) that his administration ordered the illegal torture of detainees. On Wednesday, while speaking at the Economic Club of Grand Rapids, he said he has no regrets about authorizing the controversial waterboarding technique to interrogate terrorist suspects and wouldn’t hesitate to do so again. His exact words?
Yeah, we waterboarded Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, I’d do it again to save lives.
Problem number one with Bush’s assertion is that the waterboarding of Mohammed did not save any lives. Indeed, it likely only produced misinformation. As the Los Angeles Times reported last summer, the torture only resulted in misinformation:
Self-proclaimed Sept. 11 mastermind Khalid Shaikh Mohammed told U.S. military officials that he had lied to the CIA after being abused, according to documents made public Monday. The claim is likely to intensify the debate over whether harsh interrogation techniques generated accurate information.
Mohammed made the assertion during hearings at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, where he was transferred in 2006 after being held at secret CIA sites since his capture in 2003.
“I make up stories,” Mohammed said, describing in broken English an interrogation probably administered by the CIA concerning the whereabouts of Al Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden. “Where is he? I don’t know. Then, he torture me,” Mohammed said of his interrogator. “Then I said, ‘Yes, he is in this area.’ “
Mohammed also appeared to say that he had fingered people he did not know as being Al Qaeda members in order to avoid abusive treatment. Although there is no way to corroborate his statements, Mohammed is one of the militants whom the CIA repeatedly subjected to the simulated-drowning technique known as waterboarding. http://www.latimes.com/news/nationworld/nation/la-na-cia-detainee16-2009jun16,0,316330.story
Problem number two with Bush’s assertion is that he directly contradicted his previous assurances to the American people that “We do not torture”. If Bush is trying to conclude that waterboarding is not torture, he is wrong. U.S. Code section 2340 defines torture as follows:
(1) “torture” means an act committed by a person acting under the color of law specifically intended to inflict severe physical or mental pain or suffering (other than pain or suffering incidental to lawful sanctions) upon another person within his custody or physical control;
immobilizing the victim on his or her back with the head inclined downwards, and then pouring water over the face and into the breathing passages. By forced suffocation and inhalation of water, the subject experiences drowning and is caused to believe they are about to die. {See,White, Josh (November 8, 2007). “Waterboarding Is Torture, Says Ex-Navy Instructor“. The Washington Post. http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/11/08/AR2007110802150.html. Retrieved on December 17, 2007.}
Conservative columnist, Christopher Hitchens voluntarily experienced waterboarding twice in 2008. He lasted 12 seconds the first time and 19 seconds on the next attempt. Of the experience, he said,
There is a common misconception that waterboarding simulates the sensation of drowning, but you are to all intents and purposes actually drowning.if waterboarding does not constitute torture, then there is no such thing as torture. Believe me. It’s torture. {SeeHitchens, Christopher (August 2008). “Believe Me, It’s Torture“. Vanity Fair. http://www.vanityfair.com/politics/features/2008/08/hitchens200808. Retrieved on April 17, 2009.
It is also worth noting that both John McCain and Mike Huckabee defined waterboarding as torture during their respective 2008 campaigns. It seems obvious that McCain knows a little bit about the subject of torture.
It would appear obvious from a reading of both definitions and from Hitchen’s description that waterboarding is torture. Furthermore, the United States has a past record of prosecuting water torture as a war crime. In 1947, a Japanese civilian who had served in the Japanese military as an interpreter was convicted for, among other things, committing water torture. The alleged water torture was specified as consisting of “forcing water into {the} mouths and noses” of two prisoners. http://www.2008electionprocon.org/pdf/asano_case.pdf . Sounds a lot like waterboarding, doesn’t it? So, let’s not let former Bush administration officials and Fox News sycophants get away with denying that it is torture and it is illegal.
Next, we must deal with the justification for waterboarding on the basis that it yielded valuable intelligence. Forget it. This is a red herring of an argument. If waterboarding is torture and therefore a criminal act, it matters not what valuable information was gleemed therefrom. The United States is a nation of laws. As an example, consider this scenario. Larceny is an illegal criminal act. Inasmuch as the U.S. Government’s computer systems seem to get hacked on a near daily basis, it would be quite valuable for the government to acquire a more sophisticated security system. It would be illegal, however for the government to acquire such a system by means of simply stealing it from say Microsoft. Indeed, the United States justice system would prevent or redress just such an action.
OK then, now that we’re finished with that, let’s have some fun with a song parody…
F Troop link: http://www.televisiontunes.com/F_Troop.html
BUSH TROOP
(sung to the television theme of “F Troop”)
The dawn of the Iraq War was near
When coincidentally
Cheney and Bush got the limits pushed
And commenced torturous brutality.
The methods employed often maimed and killed
Which pleased Cheney’s vicious group.
The waterboard trick both chilled and thrilled
Nobody was appalled they were called Bush Troop.
With testicle bites and really bright lights
Their victims sure took a lickin’
From draft dodging war hawks
Who are just chickens.
When killing and maiming get them down
They know their morale can’t droop.
As long as they own old D.C. Town
They are sure to resume with a bang and a boom
Bush Troop.
Sunday Mid-Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 37
Just a few noteworthy news satellites that have been careening around the blogosphere this week…
BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Why Am I Not Surprised” features Slick-Dick Cheney’s pal the Halliburton corporation. the company has become the object of several controversies involving the 2003 Iraq War and the company’s ties to Former U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney. Cheney retired from the company during the 2000 U.S. presidential election campaign with a severance package worth $36 million. As of 2004, he had received $398,548 in deferred compensation from Halliburton while Vice President. Cheney was chairman and CEO of Halliburton Company from 1995 to 2000 and has received stock options from Halliburton. The company has a long history of shoddy workmanship and of defrauding the US Government (and consequently, US taxpayers) by means of repeated and excessive overcharges regarding government contracts. Well, now it has been revealed that Halliburton is partially responsible for the recent catastrophic Gulf Coast oil rig explosion and spill. Halliburton provided well cementing services on the rig and now it looks as if flaws in that process led to the massive failure of the well’s structural integrity. Anyone surprised?
THIS JUST IN: We all understand the nexus between the State of Alaska and the oil industry, but enough is enough already. This week Alaska’s Republican Senator Lisa Murkowski objected to a voice vote request by Sen. Robert Menendez (D-N.J.) on the bill, which would have spiked the maximum liability for oil companies after an oil spill from $75 million to $10 billion. The legislation has significant support from Democrats, and the White House has indicated it backs an increase in liability caps. Republicans are on the side of the oil companies, not the American people.
BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “WTF Took You So Long” features former First Stepford Wife, Laura Bush who admitted on Larry King Live that she is pro-choice and in favor of gay marriage and has been so forever. Should she perhaps have publicly defended her positions at some point while her brain-dead husband of a President was forever advocating legislation in opposition to those beliefs? Please watch the clip…
Then again, Laura Bush is now hawking a book and as we know from Sarah Palin, nothing sells like shock and controversy.
THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “Conservatives Caught With Their Pants Down” features Longtime Religious Right leader Rev. Dr. George Rekers. He has been embroiled in a gay sex scandal for the past two weeks, and has now resigned from the board of directors of NARTH (National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality.) For those of you not in the know, it was revealed that Rekers hired a male prostitute to travel with him to Europe. As Queen would say, “another one bites the dust”.
BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Lies And The Lying Liars Who Tell Them” features Ergun Caner, the President of Liberty University’s (yes, Jerry Falwell’s Liberty University) seminary. Talk To Action reports that “Caner has made a name for himself by highlighting his unusual life story: He says he was born into a stridently Muslim family in Turkey, where he learned to hate America and Christians. As Caner tells it, he flirted with jihad before undergoing a life-changing conversion to fundamentalist Christianity. He then persuaded most of his family to convert as well, and they now spread the gospel.” A compelling story but untrue. “Despite his claims about having lived in Turkey, it now appears that Caner was born in Sweden and moved to Ohio when he was 4 years old. His father was a Muslim, but his mother was Lutheran. The couple divorced, and Caner’s mother retained custody. He became an evangelical Christian as a teen; it’s unlike he was ever recruited by jihadists.” Ahhh, the rarefied air of Liberty University!
THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “Daddy, Please Make The Crazy Lady Stop Talking!” features Minnesota’s Republican US Senator, Michele Bachmann. During a Tuesday night webcast with Ensuring Liberty, a Tea Party PAC, Rep. Michele Bachmann likened the financial reform bill that is being debated in Congress to Mussolini’s Fascist Italy. She said,
Let’s remember really what this is. This has a lot in common with Italy in the 1930s and they way Italy dealt with economics,” she said. “It still continues private ownership of business but government is in control.” She continued, “So government control of the private business, while it’s private ownership, that’s still at the end of the day the federal government virtually having a say over private business. We lose freedoms; we lose economic competitiveness.
OK Michele, now take your medicine and go back to sleep for awhile.
BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Let’s Blame God” features Rick Perry, the Republican Governor of Texas. Last week the secessionist and Sarah Palin fanboy said the massive oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico should not be lamed on the oil industry, calling such spills “acts of God that cannot be prevented.” Gee, who knew that God created that faulty rig.
THIS JUST IN: It wouldn’t be a weekly wrap-up without our favorite wingnut, now would it? So, this week’s edition of “Tea (Party) For Two and Two For Tea (Party)” features Sarah Palin, the ex-quitting Governor of Alaska and Jan Brewer, the present Governor of Arizona. The two members of the G.O.P. “braintrust” appeared together yesterday in Phoenix to denounce President Obama’s criticism of Arizona’s new racist immigrant law. The law requires immigrants in Arizona to carry their registration documents at all times and allows police to question individuals’ immigration status in the process of enforcing any other law or ordinance. Problem is, even legal “brown” skinned citizens and immigrants are likely to be “asked for their papers” even though they are not required to carry them. If they do not have those “papers” with them, they are subject to detainment and arrest. As president Obama said,
You can imagine if you are an Hispanic American in Arizona, your great grandparents may have been there before Arizona was even a state, but now suddenly if you don’t have your papers, and you took your kid out to get ice cream, you’re gonna be harassed. That’s something that could potentially happen. That’s not the right way to go.
Like the nativist “Know Nothings” of the 1840’s and 1850’s however, Palin and Brewer have deceived themselves into believing the “us” versus “them” scenario is the only solution to immigration problems. Indeed, in defending the concept of “presenting papers”, the snow-white Palin said, “I think for most American people the reaction to that would be, ‘Why aren’t (police) already doing that?'” What would she say if native Alaskans treated the Idaho transplant similarly? Keep up the good work on that Arizona products and travel boycott!!!
Today’s song parody takes a rapid-fire look at Republicans past, present and future. Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.
We Didn’t Start The Fire song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eFTLKWw542g
WE DIDN’T START THE LYING
(sung to the Billy Joel song “We Didn’t Start The Fire”)
Ronald Reagan, Larry Craig, Mark Sanford, Tom Delay
Michelle Malkin, Michele Bachmann, “Goin’ with the flow”
Joe McCarthy, Richard Nixon, Howard Baker, lack of vision
Spreading Fear, Acting queer, and ole Sixpack Joe
No icebergs, H-Bomb, “Pay for play”, “Hockey Mom”
Landrieu, Hamid Karzai, and that Michael Savage guy
Ivy tower, Van Flein, Tea-bagger party scene
Party of “No”, Tim Pawlenty, Let’s watch Glenn Beck cry
These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it
Vitter’s fallin’, Ginny Foxx, Boehner and Inhofe
Mitch McConnell, small umbrella, Talking the talk
Spin Zone, Rent to own, Straight martini, Bank loan
Russian view and Pastor Haggard’s flock
Sex crimes, Grassley, John McCain is “Mavericky”
Lining pockets, health care plan, Giuliani, Limbaugh Land
Barrasso, Fake protest, Tom “The Hammer”, Chambliss
Senate race, Lack of grace, and Melvin Martinez
These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it
Loaded Glock, SarahPAC, Sam Alito, Johnny Mack
Jindal, Right to die, Tripp’s father is Levi
Pentagon, Border wall, We must deport them all
Bed-wetters, genocide, No assisted suicide
Bush’s folly, Torture, Dick Cheney, Blackwater
Hate groups, Castro, John Ensign and his ‘ho
First Dude, Hannity, Mann Coulter and O’Reilly
Scooter Libby, Karl Rove, Sarah Palin’s “Sixpack Joes”
These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it
Kay Bailey, Muslims, K Street is full of bums
Villains, Pearlman, Iraqi Invasion
Health reform hysteria, Sarah Palin mania
Shameless G-Men, War in Afghanistan
Ron Paul, Airport sex, They don’t want no litmus test
Kneel and pray, Always “nay”, Can’t get married if you’re gay
These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it
Birth control, Lives of sin, They like folks that have white skin
Buckshot, Dow stock, Loud mouthed chicken-hawks
Takin’ Bacon, Palestine, Palin is no friend of mine
Now they have nukes in Iran, Couldn’t stop the Taliban
Makin’ fortunes, Soldiers die, Did we mention Glenn Beck cried?
Foreign debts, Homeless vets, Exposed by three jets
We voted them out the door, Now they’re just a mouse that roars
Spider holes and unjust wars, I can’t take them anymore.
These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it
(repeat chorus to fade)
Michael Steele Takes His Seat At The Back Of The G.O.P. Bus
It now appears that the Republican Party/Michael Steele mixed marriage is officially on the rocks. Just wondering, but was it the Massachusetts Gay Marriage Law that threatened the sanctity of their nuptials? Not this time, according to the parties in question.
High ranking G.O.P. members and donors are upset at Steele because he has once again tarnished the image of the “family values” political party. After it was revealed last week that the Republican National Committee funded some ribald revelry which took place at a lesbian/bondage/strip-club known as Voyeur West Hollywood, the G.O.P. needed a scapegoat to take the blame for their bad behavior. Who better than RNC Chairman Michael Steele?
After all, wasn’t Steele also the guy that responded to a citizen speaking at a town hall meeting about how her mother died as the result of not being able to afford chemotherapy, by telling her that her histrionics were sure to land her a spot on local television that night and that she should enjoy her moment in the spotlight? Wasn’t Steele also the guy that lied by saying that during a debate, he was pelted with Oreo cookies as a symbol that he was “Black on the outside but White on the inside”? All good reasons for disliking Steele mind you, but isn’t the true reason why Republicans dislike him, the fact that they put a Black person in charge of the party to lure more African Americans and not only did that mission fail, but during Steele’s reign the G.O.P. was resoundingly voted out of the White House and out of majority status in both houses of Congress? This lesbian/bondage thing is just the icing on the cake.
Michael Steele however, has also fallen out of love with the Republican Party. He now deems the Party of Lincoln to be racist. Yesterday on ABC’s Good Morning America, he said that he was being singled out by his party because he is black. When asked by the host if he has a slimmer margin of error because he is African American, Steele responded:
The honest answer is, ‘yes’, Barack Obama has a slimmer margin. A lot of folks do. It’s a different role for me to play and others to play and that’s just the reality of it. But you take that as part of the nature of it. My view on politics is much more grassroots oriented, it’s not old boy network oriented, so I tend to, you know, come at it a little bit stronger, a little bit more street-wise, if you will. That’s rubbed some feathers the wrong way.
It looks like the G.O.P./Steele marriage may soon be divorced as the result of some irreconcilable differences.
As for the Democratic Party response to the Republican public airing of the family laundry, White House Spokesman Robert Gibbs said,
I think Michael Steele’s problem isn’t the race card, it’s the credit card.
Let’s face it, any day that you can mention the Republican Party and lesbian/bondage/strip-clubs in the same sentence, is a good day for the Democrats. Ahh, Michael we hardly knew ye!
Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.
It’s My Party song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XsYJyVEUaC4
IT’S OUR REPUBLICAN PARTY
(sung to the Lesley Gore song “It’s My Party”)
It’s our party, and we’ll cry if we want to
Lie if we want to, die if we want to
You would cry too if you had who we do
Nobody knows where Mitt Romney has gone
Delay had to resign
McCain was one we can’t stand
The rest just wallow in slime
It’s our party, and we’ll cry if we want to
Lie if we want to, die if we want to
You would cry too if you had who we do
Naughty Mark Sanford’s romancin’ tonight
Michele Bachmann’s spewin’ bile
We don’t like Mike Huckabee
He talks just like Gomer Pyle
It’s our party, and we’ll cry if we want to
Lie if we want to, die if we want to
You would cry too if you had who we do
(musical interlude)
Aw, Sarah Palin behaves just like a whore
She’s a mean ding-a-ling
Jindal should open his eyes
He’ll never be our king
It’s our party, and we’ll cry if we want to
Lie if we want to, die if we want to
You would cry too if you had who we do
Oh, It’s our party, and we’ll cry if we want to
Lie if we want to, die if we want to
You would cry too if you had who we do
Oh, It’s our party, and we’ll cry if we want to
Lie if we want to, die if we want to
The Homecoming Queen’s Got A Gun!
I apologize to all of you for the long delay in posting, but I am sure that you can understand that when you lose a loved one it takes a while to get your wits back and to fall back into the daily groove. I would also like to thank all of you that sent supportive messages during my absence. They were very comforting during this most difficult time.
That being said, now it is time to get back to business. Thankfully, once again Sarah Palin has leapt to the front of the daily news queue. She seems to have a knack for injecting herself into the news cycle whenever the Democrats have a positive development. This time she chose the day of President Obama’s National Health Care Reform Summit to announce that she will be the headline speaker at the National Rifle Association’s annual meeting to be held in Charlotte, North Carolina on May 14th. The forum is undoubtedly a step up from her already scheduled speaking gigs at the National Bowling Convention and The Liquor Wholesalers Convention. Just the same, it fits in neatly with the allegedly gun-toting mama bear’s manufactured persona as a sexy, tough “Joanne Sixpack”. Rumor has it however, that the former ex-quitting governor of Alaska was actually only the second choice of the NRA. The first choice of the riflemen was the former Face-Shooter in Chief, Dick Cheney but his fifth heart attack will sideline him for awhile.
Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.
It’s Still Rock And Roll To Me link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gLtW_XYKM-8
IT’S STILL LOCK AND LOAD FOR SHE
(sung to the Billy Joel song “It’s Still Rock and Roll To Me ”)
What’s the matter with the clothes she’s wearing?
I believe they’re made from wolf hide
Maybe she should buy a new pair of glasses
She’s lookin’ just a bit pie-eyed
Just when you think Sarah’s sounding kinda murky,
She gives an interview while someone kills a turkey
Everybody’s talkin’ ‘bout polar bears
Funny, but it’s still lock and load for she
What’s the matter with the plane that she’s flying?
It’s not the one she sold on Ebay
She likes to leave the State of Alaska
With her family every single day
First she gave a speech in Minneapolis
Next she was headed right out to Indianapolis
Next day, Green Bay, then it’s off to LA
It’s still lock and load for she
Oh, it doesn’t matter what they say in the papers
‘Cause it’s always been the same damn scene.
She has to leave the state,
‘Cause the politics of hate dictate a nasty travel routine…
Spending the taxpayers’ green.
How about those ethics violations?
And Sarah Baby’s song and dance
She would really love to jail the complainants
If she only had half a chance.
And then there’s Levi and his TV interviews,
If he isn’t careful, he’ll be sporting cement shoes
Defense funds, end runs, new guns for everyone
It’s still lock and load for she
What’s the matter with the company she’s keepin’?
Don’t she know that they’re out of touch?
Like Sarah, they lack a strong education
Can’t accuse them of knowin’ much
That seems to be OK with the G.O.P.
Who needs college when you have a G.E.D.
It’s the new cool, no school, milky eyes and mouth drool
And Sarah is the big Queen bee
Everybody’s talkin’ bout the new party
Funny, but it’s still the same G.O.P.
Memo To Sarah Palin: Nobody Asked Your Opinion
Here she goes again. Sarah Palin is now calling upon President Barack Obama to fire his top aide, Rahm Emanuel as a consequence of his using coarse language in a strategy session. Emanuel allegedly referred to liberal groups that attacked the president’s health care reform plan last August as “F-ing retarded”.
Regarding the remark, CNN reports that Palin says,
His recent tirade against participants in a strategy session was such a strong slap in many American faces that our president is doing himself a disservice by seeming to condone Rahm’s recent sick and offensive tactic. Just as we’d be appalled if any public figure of Rahm’s stature ever used the “N-word” or other such inappropriate language, Rahm’s slur on all God’s children with cognitive and developmental disabilities – and the people who love them – is unacceptable, and it’s heartbreaking.
Okay then, where shall we begin? First of all it is clear that Sarah Palin is not fit to serve in high office if she cannot tolerate the rough and tumble language of smoke filled rooms and closed door meetings. My goodness, would this delicate little flower wilt and crumble when Putin “rears his head over Alaska” and calls her a name? Where would she hide when Osama Bin Laden sends another audiotape? Has she never heard the tapes of Presidents Nixon and Johnson and the most recent Face Shooter in Chief, Dick Cheney? If she has then why has she never mentioned her outrage?
Additionally, aren’t her remarks a perfect example of the pot calling the kettle black? After all, it was only last October when her almost son-in-law Levi Johnston appeared on network television and revealed that Sarah Palin joked about her son Trig’s Down Syndrome, calling him her “retarded baby.” Ouch! Johnston added that the slur was not just a one time occurrance, but was used quite frequently.
Finally, although Emanuel should have used different words, Palin has missed his point entirely. The context of his remark makes clear that he was not poking fun in any way at those actually suffering from mental disabilities. On the contrary, Emanuel was pointing out the irrational position of those persons that would oppose a form of health care reform that has a goal of providing insurance and therefore medical services to just those patients that may be denied medical services under the present system. But how could we expect Sarah Palin to understand that? The only two phrases she has ever associated with health care reform are “socialist” and “death panels”.
Sarah Palin is a dangerous, hypocritical one-trick pony who’s opinion should never be solicited on any subject of importance.
In honor of the troops, please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.
My Way song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6E2hYDIFDIU
MY WAY
(sung to Frank Sinatra’s “My Way”)
And now, the end is near;
To all of you, I’m glad I met ya’
Alaskans, let’s make it clear,
Did I fool you?, Oh yeah, “ya betcha!”
You’ve met Todd, the “First Dude”,
His snowmachine is in the driveway.
Is he drunk? My God, he’s blitzed,
The D.U.I. way.
Regrets, I’ve had a few;
More than most, I will remember.
My lipstick and my hair-do
But most of all, 4th of November.
Each day since then has been
Another never-ending whine and cry day,
And I’ve been told by Newt Gingrich,
To hit the highway.
Yes, there were times, that now you know
I failed to declare “per diem” dough.
What’s this about “stimulus funds”?
Let’s just cling to, our God and guns.
Oh, I just winked and then I blinked;
And did it my way.
Nicknames, I’ve had a few
There’s “Caribou” and “Barracuda”
Now I’m known as “Sarah Who?”
Cuz Tina Fey is so much cuter.
To think I’m a has been;
And I can’t see – beyond next Friday
Woe, oh woe is me,
I won’t have my day.
For what is a gal, what has she got?
When her career, has gone to pot.
How to appear on nightly news;
When she’s inept at interviews.
She’s still exposed despite those clothes
Please hit the highway!
Yes, hit the highway.
Lynnrockets' Blast-Off 