Memorial Day Dittie

Sarah Palin emerges from Wasilla, Alaska beauty salon.

Memorial Day is a day of remembrance and in no way do we intend to demean the solemness of the occasion, but it is also the unofficial first day of Summer and as such, it is often celebrated by means of a family and friends cookout after the trip to the cemetery. So, in an effort to provide you with a little humming material while at the grill, here is a Sarah Palin song parody

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

I’ve Just Seen A Face song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SbKGsEK_T9g

I’VE JUST SEEN HER FACE

(sung to the Beatles song “I’ve Just Seen A Face”)

I’ve just seen her face,
I can’t forget the time or place
I’ll make a bet, she’s trolling for a fee
Palin wants all the world to see her jet
Na na na na na na

Unemployed and without pay
She lives her life the Palin way
With winking eyes and beehive hair
She’s an Alaskan “Mama Bear” alright !
Na na na na na na

Falling, yes Sarah’s falling
And she’s appalling to sober men

Sitting on her throne
With her intelligence on loan
The G.O.P. thinks she is out of sight
Their other girls were never quite like this
Na na na na na na

Crawling, an insect crawling
And she’s appalling to sober men

(musical interlude)

Falling, yes Sarah’s falling
And she’s appalling to sober men

I’ve just seen her face
To folks like me it’s a disgrace
And better yet, I want the world to see
There is no place for Sarah P., you bet
Na na na na na na

Crawling, an insect crawling
And she’s appalling to sober men

Falling, yes Sarah’s falling
And she’s appalling to sober men

Oh, falling, yes Sarah’s falling
And she’s appalling to sober men

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 39

Just a few noteworthy news satellites that have been careening around the blogosphere this week…

BREAKING NEWS: BP has still been unable to cap the massive oil spill triggered by its and Hailliburton‘s and Transocean‘s negligence. The “let’s try to fill the thing with golf balls” method indicates the lack of repair alternatives remaining. We have also learned that the spill is some four times greater than BP led the US Government to believe, making it the largest oil spill in history. Meanwhile, Republicans (or should we call them “BPublicans”) and Tea-Baggers continue to clamor for less corporate regulation.

THIS JUST IN: The racist State of Arizona has elected to by-pass its own Attorney General to defend the state against lawsuits filed in opposition to the state’s new racial profiling immigration law. Instead, the state will hire costly outside private counsel because the state legislature and Governor Jan Brewer have a “lack of confidence in the Attorney General’s willingness to vigorously defend” When your state’s very own Attorney General feels a law is unconstitutional, you’ve got a problem. Now in addition to all the revenue lost as the result of the increasing boycott of all things Arizonan, the state’s taxpayers will be forced to spend even more money on outside private counsel.

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Give ‘Em Enough Rope And They Are Sure To Hang Themselves” features Kentucky Republican Senate candidate Rand Paul. The Sarah Palin endorsed candidate that told us last week that he believes that private business should once again be allowed to racially  discriminate, now tells us that he wants so called “anchor babies” (children born in the US with parents not legally in the country) to be stripped of their US citizenship and deported. Problem is, the US Constitution says, “All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside.” Rand Paul, we hardly knew ye.

THIS JUST IN: Progressive liberals have another good chance to defeat an incumbent DINO. Arkansas Lt. Gov. Bill Halter is outpacing incumbent Blanche Lincoln in raising funds for the Democratic Party run-off election for the Arkansas US Senate seat. Lincoln you may recall, tends to vote against progressive causes and with the Republicans far too frequently. Please donate what you can to Bill Halter in an effort to put a true progressive in office.

BREAKING NEWS: Seems this whole Obama/Sestak thing is just a whole lot of nothing. That is of course, so long as you are a Ronald Reagan admirer. Take a look at this little piece from the PA in 1981,

Sen. S.I. Hayakawa on Wednesday spurned a Reagan administration suggestion that if he drops out of the crowded Republican Senate primary race in California, President Reagan would find him a job.

How will the Republicans react to the fact that the almighty Reagan seems to have been involved in the same sort of rough and tumble world of politics  as was Obama?

THIS JUST IN: Sarah Palin hired Bob the Builder to erect spite fence.

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “How Low Can You Go” features Fox News’ very own village idiot, Glenn Beck. On his radio show, Beck alleged that Barack Obama’s 11 year old daughter, Malia was uneducated. Then while mocking the child’s voice, he asked the President, “Daddy, why do you hate black people”! Let’s see what Beck has to say the next time someone mentions one of Sarah Palin’s children.

Please click on the song link below to faniliarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody. This one was easy. We didn’t have to tinker too much with the original lyrics. Please enjoy.

Undone song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VLMF5GM0Kt8

UNDONE

(sung to The Guess Who song “Undone”)

Beck’s come undone
He didn’t know what he was headed for
And by the time that Fox shows him the door
It’s much too late

Beck’s come undone
He’s either drinking or he’s getting high
And now his sponsors have gone bye-bye
That is Glenn’s fate

It’s too late
Beck’s gone too far
He’s all but done
Beck’s come undone
Avoids the truth while he shouts out his lies
Now he has to realize
Redemption’s too late

Beck’s come undone
He’s like a little mouse that tries to roar
A TV host that most of us abhor
A victim of his fate

It’s too late
Beck’s no Bill Maher
He is no fun
Beck’s come undone

Too many branches, but not enough Christmas lights
Too many falsehoods and not enough truth
Too many people with too many eyes to see
Too many lies to tell, but not in prime-time

It’s too late
He’s over par
(that was a pun)
Beck’s come undone
(Doe-doe-doe-doe-doe-doe- un doe-doe-doe un doe-doe-doe)
(Doe-doe-doe-doe-doe un doe-doe-doe doe-doe-doe)
(Doe doe-doe-doe doe doe-doe-doe doe doe)

(musical interlude)

It’s too late
Feathered and tarred
He’s dazed and stunned
Beck’s come undone
He didn’t know what he was headed for
And now he’s much worse than the day before
It is too late

Beck’s come undone
He’s like a fountain spewing out just lies
And sometimes he just sits there and cries
Glenn Beck’s character traits

It’s too late
Beck’s gone too far
He’s a no-one
Beck’s come undone
(No no-no-no-no-no-no)
(Doe doe doe-doe)

Ouch! Take That, Sarah Palin.

Investigative reporter Joseph McGinniss has responded to Sarah Palin’s outrage at his renting the home next to hers while writing a book about her. He told the Washington Post that in fact, he was first approached by Todd “First Dude” Palin at the rented home and Palin told him that he was unwelcome in a conversation in which Mr. Palin became increasingly hostile. When Palin left the author’s home, he then fetched the camera from which he snapped the photo that wife Sarah then posted on FaceBook with her fiery remarks about McGinniss.

Subsequent to the FaceBook posting and Sarah Palin’s call-in to Glenn Beck’s radio show on the same topic, McGinniss claims that he began to receive hatemail and threats via email. It appears that conservative radio host Mark Levin publicly revealed McGinniss’ email address prompting some 5000 messages in four hours, some of which contained veiled death threats. McGinniss says,

I would term this (Palin’s response) hysterical. By being here, I have learned things, and I’ve gotten an insight into her character, into her ability to incite hatred, that before I only knew about in the abstract.

There you have it folks, Sarah Palin’s own actions have undermined her yet again. Anyone surprised?

In honor of the troops, please click on the song link below to not only familiarize yourselves with the tune, but to have more fun singing along to the song parody also, too.

The Brady Bunch television theme song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ou-FeOoKDq4

THE PALIN BUNCH

(sung to the theme of “The Brady Bunch”)

Here’s the story of a gal named Sarah
Who was the Governor of State number 49.
Then John McCain came lookin’ for a V.P.
And that sounded just fine.

Here’s the story of Todd the First Dude
He had a D.U.I. and drove a snow machine.
He couldn’t count to ten on his fingers
With just his G.E.D.

The election didn’t go the way they planned it
Our girl Sarah couldn’t handle interviews.
The media exposed her dearth of knowledge
Except for Fox News and that blonde chick from The View.

The Palin Bunch, the Palin Bunch
That’s the way they became the Palin Bunch.

Friday Night Music Byte

The Rat, Kenmore Square, Boston, MA

Tonight’s post will not feature a band, but rather a venue. The Rathskeller (known as The Rat for short) was a Kenmore Square live music venue in Boston, Massachusetts that was open from 1974 to 1997 (The Rathskeller was operating during the 1960’s as The Remains were the original house band). As implied by its name “Rathskeller” (German: “council cellar”), the Rathskeller was a dimly-lit establishment with a bar and restaurant on the street level and a rock club in the basement. In many ways it was Boston’s Cavern Club.

The Rathskeller is notable for being one of Greater Boston’s premier music venues for three decades and the starting point for the WBCN Rock & Roll Rumble.

One Boston-area magazine describes:

There was also a new Ground Zero for live performance in Boston at that time. Deep below freaky-funky Kenmore Square, the Rathskellar (or, as everyone called it, “The Rat”) was a dingy subterranean dive bar that would appeal to the ever-burgeoning punk movement, and that hosted shows by everyone from Talking Heads and Tom Petty to Thin Lizzy and The Ramones. Everybody played there—and would continue to do so until the club finally closed its doors in 1997 amid a movement toward gentrification.

The Rat was ultimately razed in October 2000 to make way for the Hotel Commonwealth, a 148-room luxury hotel of which Boston University is a limited partner.

In recognition of their place in Boston’s punk rock history, Eastern Standard Kitchen & Drinks,  currently located at 528 Commonwealth Avenue (the former site of The Rat), offers a cocktail known as “The Rat” which consists of Fernet Branca and Coca-Cola.

The Rat is referenced in both Guitar Hero II and Guitar Hero Encore: Rocks the 80s, where one of the venues is called “The Rat Cellar” and it is located in Boston.

Some of the more notable bands to have performed at The Rat are as follows:

The Cars, The Dead Kennedys, Dropkick Murphys, Gang Green, The Clash, Joan Jett, Lou Miami and the Kozmetix, Mazzy Star, Metallica, The Mighty Mighty Bosstones, Mission of Burma, The Pixies, The Police, The Ramones, The Replacements, The Remains, R.E.M., Rick James, The Smithereens, Sonic Youth, Talking Heads, Thin Lizzy, Tom Petty and The Wrecking Crew.

Bottom line? The Rat was a hell hole that smelled like piss, puke and stale beer, but it knocked out some of the greatest punk rock I’ve ever heard. R.I.P. Rat, we hardly knew ye!!!

Please enjoy a few video clips of bands playing in the punk era at The Rat. Pay close attention to the audience also as they were right on top of the bands.

The Neighborhoods, May 8, 1979

Unnatural Axe

The Voodoo Dolls 1990

Straw Dogs 1988

Sarah Palin And The Paperback Writer

"Say it ain't so, Joe."

We just cannot let this Sarah Palin/Joe McGinniss feud fade away without another post on the subject. In fact, this potential Hatfield/McCoy standoff is likely to provide enough juicy material for many more posts (not to mention a Saturday Night Live skit or two). What could be better than an investigative journalist actually living right next door to the subject of his next book?

By the way, what’s up with Sarah Palin’s sick obsession with the sexual violation of her daughters? First we learned on the campaign trail that unwed teen daughter Bristol was pregnant despite all that “abstinence only” training she received from her formerly unwed pregnant mother. Next, Palin accused David Letterman of soliciting the statutory rape of daughter, Willow. Then we learned from reading her ghostwritten memoir, that both daughters Willow and Bristol were threatened with gang rape from schoolmates,

In that first year, I was alerted to threats against Willow by students at her Juneau school, one particularly disturbing. Someone posted a note on an Internet site threatening to gang-rape her at school. I never felt safe for her after that. Later, the same thing happened to Bristol.

Of course “Mama Bear” never reported the alleged threats to school officials or law enforcement at the time. Now we have Palin alleging that writer Joe McGinniss is some sort of perverted peeping tom. In a recent Facebook entry, Palin wrote,

Wonder what kind of material he’ll gather while overlooking Piper’s bedroom…

It is clear that Sarah Palin has some weird sexual hangups involving minors.

Greater Wasilla (Alaska) better get ready for a long hot summer with plenty of fireworks on display in and around the Palin/McGinniss compound. We can imagine screaming tantrums from Palin, mocking waves from McGinniss and the Wasilla police setting up a temporary station on their street. Will the Palins’ spite fence grow taller and taller? The new neighbors’ backyards will be filled with cold stares, hot glares and sneak peeks. All in all though, what did Palin expect? She cozied up to Joe Sixpack and Joe The Plumber, so how could Joe The Writer be expected to know that he would be unwelcome in Palinland?

Palin's spite fence.

Let’s all hope for a summer full of comedic altercations. In the meantime please enjoy this re-working of a previous re-working of the Beatles’ song “Paperback Writer”.

In honor of the troops, please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the song parody.

Paperback Writer song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pwap79uy1G8

PAPERBACK WRITER II

(sung to the Beatles song “Paperback Writer”)

Paperback writer (paperback writer)

Dear Todd and Sarah, will you read my book?
It took me months to write while I had a look
All of those things that I could see and hear
I put them in my book and I’m gonna be a paperback writer
Paperback writer

Its a dirty story of a dirty clan
Led by Sarah Palin and her “First Dude” man
I learned so much by reading through their mail
They’re a seedy mob but its fun to be a paperback writer
Paperback writer

Paperback writer (paperback writer)

It’s a thousand pages give or take a few,
It has some photos I took from my scenic view.
I must admit the Palins never do smile
They just sulked around in plain site of this paperback writer,
Paperback writer

I loved all the fighting I could hear at night
It wafted through the fence despite its massive height.
You’ll learn all about them so please have no fear,
They will quiver and quake but I’m gonna be a paperback writer.
Paperback writer

Paperback writer (paperback writer)

Paperback writer – paperback writer
Paperback writer – paperback writer
(fading)

Palin Compound Threatened By One Man Seige

I'll Get You, Joe McGinniss!!!

Batten down the hatches! Shutter the windows! Put chastity belts on the girls and by God, Todd hurry up with that fence! These are just a few of the exclamations that Sarah Palin has been overheard screeching this week. She has also taken to Facebook and the Glenn Beck radio show to cry for support in her efforts to hide from an investigative reporter that has rented the house next door to the Palin compound in Wasilla, Alaska.

Joe McGinniss, the author of a forthcoming Sarah Palin exposé, has actually rented the house right next door to the Palins in an attempt to keep an ever watchful eye on his subjects. Indeed, the owner of the property sought out the author and asked if he would be interested in renting the home. Apparently the property owner had an axe to grind with the Palins as the result of some bills that the Palins failed to pay and what better way to get even than by accommodating the writer that is sure to skewer Palin in print. Revenge surely is a dish best served cold. As Todd “The First Dude” once said, “What goes around comes around”.

In an effort to shield her family from the ever watchful eye of McGinniss, Palin is constructing a ridiculously high spite fence. Not only does the fence impede McGinniss’ sight lines, but it also looks terrible and will probably decrease the value of the Palin property. Enquiring minds however, want to know how McGinniss intends to respond. Will he sit on his roof while writing or maybe install one of those hunting tree stands? Might he purchase a trampoline so that he can get fleeting glimpses over the fence? Will he simply rent a boat so that he can watch the Palins from beautiful Lake Lucille? Stay tuned for the answer. In the meantime let’s all just enjoy the fireworks in Wasilla that are exploding well before Quitting, oops I meant Independence Day.

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with tonight’s topical song parody.

You’ve Got To Hide Your Love Away song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jz7IjXu0DfQ

WE’VE GOT TO HIDE OUR HOUSE AWAY

(sung to the Beatles song “You’ve Got to Hide Your Love Away”)

Here I stand pen in hand
Boy, that fence is real tall
View is gone but I’ll go on
Writing is a ball

Sarah glares, momma bear
Each and every day
I can see they’re scared of me
Here’s what Palins say:

Hey, we’ve got to hide our house away
Hey, we’ve got to hide our house away

My oh my, ten feet high
But they’ll never win
Hearing them, seeing them
Sarah and her kin

How could she say to me
Joey stay away
Now I’m bound to hang ‘round
Each and every day

Hey, we’ve got to hide our house away
Hey, we’ve got to hide our house away

Palin v. G.O.P.:There Will Be No Winner

The “Queen of Quit” has done it again. It is now official, Sarah Palin has quit the Republican Party and joined the Tea-Baggers. For the second time in a month Palin has ignored the Republican Party and endorsed a competing Tea Party candidate. First she endorsed racist Tea-Bagger Rand Paul over the Mitch McConnell endorsed Republican Trey Grayson in the Kentucky Senate primary. Now she has endorsed Tea Party activist Clint Didier over the National Republican Senatorial Committee endorsed Dino Rossi in the Washington Senatorial race.

Palin’s endorsement of Didier came via Twitter, her favorite sophomoric form of communication. On Thursday, Palin “tweeted” that she is “inspired” by Didier and said he is a “patriot running for U.S. Senate to serve his state & our country for all the right reasons!”

This is good news for Democrats. Republicans and Tea-Baggers share many of the same right-wing conservative philosophies. Consequently the newly emergent Tea Party draws virtually all of its members from the Republican Party. The G.O.P. gets smaller and then must publicly battle with Tea-Baggers before even earning the chance to run against the Democratic Party candidate in a general election. The Tea-Bagger or Republican that wins the primary then comes to the general election already dripping with mud. Advantage – Democrat.

This scenario is presently playing out in the Washington state Senatorial race. Didier (Tea Party) has already attacked Rossi (Republican), painting him as  firmly entrenched in the Republican establishment. “If people want more of the same, the McCain or Bush type of governing, then they can support Dino,” Didier said in a statement earlier this month.

All of this my friends, is another glaring example of the “Palin Rule”. Whatever Palin touches, turns to crap!

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Wonderful World (Don’t Know Much) link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jNO72aCnVr0

RIGHT WING WORLD (DON’T KNOW MUCH)

(sung to the Sam Cooke song “Wonderful World”)

Don’t know much about geography
Don’t know much ecology
Don’t know much about that climate change
Don’t know why voters think I am strange

But I do know I love my shoes
And I really love my beehive ‘do
What a right wing world this should be

Don’t have much of an education
I know a lot about procreation
Opposition should have no voice
Pregnant women should have no choice

Yes, I do practice “politics of hate”
And I love to equivocate
What a right wing world this should be

Now I don’t claim that I can see Russia
From my living room bay
And I do not star on “Thirty Rock”, baby
That’s the talented Tina Fey

Don’t know much about interviews
Don’t know many Supreme Court views
Can’t name any books that I’ve read
Sure glad Bristol and Levi aren’t wed

But I do know my time is due
And I’ll be there in 2-0-1-2
What a right wing world this will be

And I do know you’ll love Sarah P.
We’ll be a nation of Scientology
What a right wing world this will be

Wednesday Night Music Byte

The Neighbothoods

Originally a Boston power-pop group with a regional hit on the Ace of Hearts label in 1980, The Neighborhoods and vocalist David Minehan toned down the bright melodies and added more energy to become, well, a rock & roll band. Their first release, the 1984 mini-LP “Fire Is Coming” was followed by a full record for Restless in 1986, “…the high hard one….” After 1987’s “Reptile Men,” the Neighborhoods were silent until 1990, when the group again released two albums in two years, “Hoodwinked” and a self-titled effort.

Please enjoy this video clip of The Neighborhoods performing “Prettiest Girl” and “No Place Like Home” in 1979.

Run Sarah, Run Sarah, Run!!! (Updated)

Oh, please, please, pretty please let it be true. Rumor is that Sarah Palin may have let it slip last weekend that she plans to run for President of the United States in 2012. What on earth could be better for the Democrats than for the former ex-quitting Governor of Alaska to be the nominee for either the Republican Party or her new found BFFs, the Tea Party? Just imagine the debate questions such as, “Ms. Palin, please tell us in detail how long you would endure probing questions from the press and allegations of ethical impropriety before quitting the Presidency?” Or, “Just for shits and giggles, could you please name the seven continents?” Or maybe, “Sarah could you tell us what newspapers and magazines do you read?” Oh wait, Katie Couric already asked that one. Anyway, you guys get it.

But seriously, last weekend while being interviewed on Fox News (where else?) by Chris Wallace, when asked about her White House ambitions, Palin responded,

It really comes down to it’s not being about me, or what I want, or what I predict is gonna happen. … [I]f the voters of America are in the mood for a kind of unconventional, candid, honest public servant — it doesn’t necessarily have to be me — but if that’s what they’re in the mood for, they’re going to let that be known, and they’re going to help really propel and push that candidate forward, and then that candidate, of course, will make the decision whether to run or not. Don’t know if that’s going to me, Chris. … As I’ve always said, I’m not going to close any door that perhaps would be open.

If that door does open Sarah, don’t let it hit you on the ass on the way out!

A future Palin candidacy would be sure to provide enough material for a sequel to this video of her greatest hits:

UPDATE

We have just learned that the Curse of Sarah Palin continues. You might recall that the Blast-Off posted a story a few days ago about Palin’s endorsement of Vaughn Ward in the Idaho Republican Congressional primary. You might also recall that Ward is the guy that thinks that Puerto Rico is a foreign country. Well, never fear. Inasmuch as the curse of Palin is in full effect, Ward lost the election on Tuesday. Palin has now cursed John McCain, Doug Hoffman, Tim Burns and now Vaughn Ward. Will Nikki Haley an/or Rand Paul be next?

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Born To Run song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LTEjjGW3vUA&feature=related

BORN TO RUN

(sung to the Bruce Springsteen song “Born To Run”)

In the day she sweats it out on the streets, she’s a runner-up beauty pageant queen
At night she tears her hair out in worry atop Todd’s snow-machine
Hate filled rages at the five and dime
High heeled, misdirected and sporting a sixties beehive, Whoa
Wasilla town hopes she never comes back
She’s a dumb quack, a political hack
Sarah speaketh with a forked tongue
But tramps like her, baby they were born to run
(yes she will run)

Sarah’s got thin skin but she’ll run again
She can’t find work on television
SarahPAC will cater to her whims
Their dedicated to her mission
Together they will dish out crap
She’ll run till she drops, maybe from a heart attack, Whoa
All her friends, she’ll continue to hire
‘cause baby she wants to be the next “Decider”
But her wagon has lost all its wheels
She behaves like a little child girl, a pitbull refusing to heel
(full of baloney)

(instrumental interlude)

She’s filled with malice right down to the bones buried in her backyard
She casts no reflection in brand new mirrors
Like a vampire caught off guard
Her unfeeling heart, rises cold and dark
A dominatrix with an iron fist
She’s gonna try to befriend thee in the deep dark night
With a wink and a blown kiss, Huhh

(another instrumental)

(one two three four…)

She’s got a bunch of Fox News zeroes that fuel her hopes and drive
Sarah Palin likes you if you are white and have no use for gay pride
Every Wednesday she will give an address
That will reveal all the madness in her soul, Whoa
Someday girl, we don’t know when, you’ll learn that you’re a disgrace
Something we already know, her career will be done
But till then just like puss, Sarah will return to run

Oh, Sarah just like puss, baby we hope that you run

Please believe me, all of us baby, sure hope that you will run

Sarah Palin, The Alleged Philanderer Endorses Nikki Haley, The Alleged Philanderer

My goodness, things just keep getting crazier and crazier regarding Alaska’s former ex-quitting Governor. In the last month alone, Sarah Palin has split with her own Republican Party by means of endorsing two G.O.P. disfavored Tea-Bagger candidates, one of whom has been exposed as a raving racist. She embarressed herself on Fox News’ Hannity program by showing that she had no idea who the candidates were in last week’s Pennsylvania elections. Ms. “Drill Baby, Drill” then made a fool of herself by alleging that it is the Democrats and not the Republicans that are in bed with Big Oil. And now she has endorsed a candidate that has allegedly been involved (like herself) in an adulterous affair. Sarah Palin is now officially as mainstream as a three dollar bill.

The educationally challenged Palin has endorsed Republican Nikki Haley in the South Carolina gubernatorial race. Problem is, Haley has been accused by a certain Will Folks of having had “an inappropriate physical relationship” with him. This is particularly humorous when one remembers that South Carolina’s present disgraced Governor, Republican Mark Sanford also had an illicit extra-marital affair. It also begs the question as to whether any Republican, either male or female, can keep their pants on long enough to serve a full term in office.

Of the endorsement, Palin posted this on her Facebook page:

When Nikki and I held her endorsement rally on the steps of the beautiful and historic South Carolina state house last month, I warned her and her family that she would be targeted because she’s a threat to a corrupt political machine, and she would be put through some hell. [D]on’t let some blogger make any accusation against your Nikki if the guy doesn’t even have the guts or the integrity to speak further on such a significant claim.

Hot on the heel of this week’s other revelation that Indiana Congressman Mark Souder has had to resign his seat as the result of an adulterous affair, let’s have a look at all those other philandering Republicans of late. Ronald Reagan, Newt Gingrich, John McCain, David Vitter, Mark Foley, Larry Craig, Rudolph Giuliani, Ted Haggard, Bob Allen, Glenn Murphy, Jr., John Ensign, Sarah Palin (maybe), Mark Sanford, Paul Stanley, Mike Duvall, Mark Souder… and now Nikki Haley.

Is it just me or does anyone else feel the need to take a shower after shaking the hand of a Republican?

Please be sure to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the song parody.

Brandy (You’re A Fine Girl) song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N-tRXewCAmU

SARAH (YOU’RE A FINE GIRL)

(sung to the Looking Glass song “Brandy (You’re a Fine Girl)”)

(doo da in doo da da), (doo da in doo da da)

There’s a town not far from Bristol Bay
With strip malls, both near and far away
Lonely oil guys go the Wasilla way
And live in motor homes

And there’s a girl in this forlorn town
One time, she wore a pageant crown
They say “Sarah, please put that gun down”
She knows she’s just a punch-line

The oil guys say “Sarah, you’re a fine girl” (you’re a fine girl)
“What a good Prez you would be” (such a fine girl)
“Not here, but maybe somewhere overseas”
(doo da in doo da da), (doo da in doo da da)

Sarah, sports a beehive mane
And some rimless glasses but she has no brain
A locket that bears the name
Of the man that Sarah loves

He came on a winter’s day
On board his gas-powered sleigh
What he saw in her, Todd couldn’t say
Cuz he was drunk since he left home

The First Dude said “Sarah, you’re a fine girl” (you’re a fine girl)
“What a good wife you would be” (such a fine girl)
But it’s booze, snow-machining and pornos for me
(doo da in doo da da), (doo da in doo da da)

But Sarah looked into his eyes
And she took an inventory
She could feel something on him rise
Then she saw his morning glory
She said “To hell with abstinence!”, Lord, she jumped on that sad-sack
And before she could say “Stop!”, she had Track.
(doo da in doo da da), (doo da in doo da da)

Todd, had a loaded pistol
Sarah gave birth to a daughter,  Bristol
She too had an ac-ci-den-tal
And now you hear her say…

You hear her say “Mama, you’re a fine girl” (you’re a fine girl)
“Two peas in a pod aren’t we” (such a fine girl)
“But Ya Betcha we have a screwed-up family”
(doo da in doo da da), (doo da in doo da da)

“Sarah, you’re a fine girl” (you’re a fine girl)
[FADE]

“What a good Prez you would be” (such a fine girl)
“No not here, but maybe somewhere overseas”