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Fox News: People Making Over $ 250,000 Are Not Rich, But Maids Making $ 60,000 Are Rich

Today is another one of those days where somebody else says something so much better than I could. In a wonderfully explanatory column, Mark Engler of DissentMagazine.org exposes another Fox News hypocrisy. The column is titled, “Why The $ 60,000 Per Year Housekeeper Is A Right-Wing Nightmare” and it reveals how Fox News commentators and guests will do everything in their power to idolize the rich and demonize those in the working class. Following is this column and please visit Dissent Magazine here for other great reads.

Why the $60,000 Per Year Housekeeper Is a Right-Wing Nightmare

Mark Engler – February 21, 2012 10:00 am

Conservatives these days walk a tricky line when it comes to wages. On the one hand, they strive to defend the just earnings of capitalist lords of enterprise. On the other, they try hard to foster resentment of any working people who might actually enjoy living wages and decent benefits. In a nutshell: while Wall Street bankers deserve every penny they get, public school teachers—to take just one example—are overpaid mooches who are leeching off society.

The latest hubbub illustrating this strange double standard came after the New York Times reported on a new contract between the New York Hotel Trades Council (UNITE HERE Local 6), representing city hotel workers, and the Hotel Association of New York, representing hotel owners. Over the course of a seven-year contract, hotel housekeepers will have received (cumulatively) a 29 percent raise, with a typical worker going from making around $46,000 per year to earning almost $60,000 per year. The contract also includes good union health insurance and other benefits.

It is a great contract, and members of the union should be congratulated for their work in securing it. But for some conservatives, the idea that a lowly hotel maid could possibly be paid $60,000 is an abomination. Fox News analysts called it a “nightmare.”

There’s plenty to say about their disgust. The first thing to note is the sheer hypocrisy of the right-wing revulsion. Back when we were debating the expiration of the Bush tax cuts, conservatives repeatedly rallied to assert that those making $250,000 per year were not at all rich. Among other absurdities, their apologetics produced the audacious spectacle of a University of Chicago professor with a household income of more than $450,000 per year complaining about how he is just barely getting by, noting that he and his wife “occasionally eat out but with a baby sitter, these nights take a toll on our budget.”

Fox News types worked overtime to back up such sob stories from those they dubbed the “so-called rich.” On the very same program where the right-wingers decried hotel workers’ $60,000 pay as a “nightmare” (Varney & Co.), analyst Chris Cotter previously asserted that, if you’re “in New York or San Francisco,” living on $250,000 is “very, very tough.”

It’s interesting to look a little more at what’s behind this contradiction. The conservatives aren’t really basing their criticism on the idea that New York City hotel rooms are overpriced. To do so would involve examining the price of a room and determining why it costs what it does. You’d have to figure out what percentage of the room rate goes to the workers who actually keep the hotel running, how much to executive compensation, how much to corporate profits, and so forth. Going down that road could lead to some uncomfortable questions, so they avoid it.

Nor are they standing up for the hotel owners, arguing that the new contract violates some tenet of capitalism. It doesn’t. The agreement was a product of employees collectively negotiating with their employers in fair market fashion. There are no government “handouts” here, no idle slackers who are not working for a living. In fact, according to the Times, the hotel owners’ association is very pleased with the contract: “In a constructive and cooperative spirit, we were able to reach this early agreement, which is good for our members, the union, and the city of New York,” association president Joseph E. Spinnato said.

So what’s the conservative objection really about? It comes down to their opinion of what a hotel housekeeper is worth. It’s a matter of principle: heaven forbid that a maid should have decent health insurance and make a living wage—even if that wage is a fraction of what elites themselves have a “very, very tough” time making due with.

I have a dog in this fight. In addition to being generally pro-labor, several family members of mine work with the hotel, casino, and restaurant employees union (although not the local in question). For this reason, I’m thankful to Nathan Newman for his fine Huffington Post commentary, “Why Shouldn’t Housekeepers Make $60,000 Per Year?”

Newman gives some important context. How, he asks, did we get “to the point that it is a bit ‘shocking’ in some sense that workers in what is seen as a low-wage industry are making a living wage?” He answers:

The disappearance of good working class jobs is the flip side of the anger many feel at income of the richest 1% exploding—that group had a 275 percent “raise” in income between [1979 and 2007] according to the Congressional Budget Office (CBO). The problem is not that the wealthy are getting wealthier, but that they seem to do so at the expense of everyone else seeing wages drop and benefits like health care and pensions disappear.Which is what makes the story of $60,000 housekeepers such an anomaly in the news. When Local 6, which represents New York City hotel workers, was founded back in 1938, they were actually just a latecomer to a wave of union drives that raised wages and brought labor rights to the workplace for previously low-wage workers in the auto industry, steel, telephone, garment and range of other industries.

But many of those jobs have disappeared to either globalization or technology and, except for a smaller group of high-paying professional service jobs, the decline of union strength has meant many new service jobs pay less than needed to raise a family.

So why do we have $60,000 per year housekeepers in New York City?

Well, you can’t outsource cleaning a room to China and so far no robot can make a bed as well as a human being, so hotel workers have escaped the job destroying forces sweeping other industries.

But you don’t have $60,000 housekeepers in most places in the United States or anything approach it except in a handful of cities like San Francisco and Las Vegas, so the answer goes beyond technological determinism.

The answer is hard-fought organizing by the hotel workers themselves in New York City and the supportive pro-union sentiment of other residents in the city, what was once unapologetically called “solidarity” in this country before the term seemed to get reserved by the elite for only talking about supporting workers in Poland.

Newman goes on to make solid points about the importance of union density and about the labor movement’s role in fighting inequality in America.

At the outset of this post, I framed the right-wing stance on wages as something of a curious contradiction. But actually, this whole thing is not all that complicated. Stripped down, it’s just class warfare, waged by the rich. Unless we have institutions that can repel the assault and advance the interests of working people, our democratic society as a whole stands to suffer.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

“Strange Brew” song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_NholHANoY

STRANGE CREW

(sung to the Cream song “Strange Brew”)

Strange crew
They’ve got there at Fox News

Does that Sean Hannity have a new hairdo?
And will Bill O’Reilly go back on “The View”
No clue
And what will Glenn Beck do?

Strange crew
They’ve got there at Fox News

There’s a long-faced sullen man that’s named Brit Hume
And a blonde-haired guy named Ann Coulter, too
Pee-you
That’s just to name a few

Strange crew
They’ve got there at Fox News

(Misinformation break)

They have a dumb Alaskan known as Sarah P.
And a weekend wimp named Mike Huckabee
Good Lord
Could they be more abhorred?

Strange crew
They’ve got there at Fox News

Strange crew, strange crew
Strange crew, strange crew

Strange crew
They’ve got there at Fox News

Bill O’Reilly’s Economic Plan: Tax The Poor!

Fox News is getting desperate to increase its percentage of brain-dead audience above its already astronomical 90% rating. If such were not the case, the Faux News station would not be falling over itself in a race to have its hosts say the most stupid things they can think of.

Case in point. On Thursday, Bill O’Reilly actually recognized that the tax structure is unfair. Say what? Bill O’Reilly realizes that the rich (oops, I mean job creators) must begin to pay their fair share of taxes in our nation’s efforts to reduce the deficit and add revenue? Umm, not so fast. Bill O’Reilly believes that the poor should start paying taxes. I’m not kidding, he mentioned that about 47% of Americans do not pay a federal income tax. Of course he failed to mention that they do not pay the tax because they have very little income and are destitute.

O’Reilly’s solution? A “consumption tax” which will force the poor to pay their “fair share” of taxes. O’Reilly said,

“The reason I want the consumption tax is because I pointed out that almost half, HALF (of) American workers don’t pay any federal income tax. With a consumption tax, everybody would chip in. That seems to be kind of fair. Pay your fair share.”

Let’s go to the film:

This “consumption” tax however would shift the tax burden to the poor and away from the rich (oops, there I’ve done it again, I mean job creators) because it is a regressive tax. Sales taxes are regressive because the poor spend almost all of their income on consumer goods and necessities while the rich (darn it, I mean job creators) save most of their income. So, O’Reilly would like to punish the poor and further contribute to the disparity of wealth in America. Some plan.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

“Strange Brew” song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_NholHANoY

STRANGE CREW

(sung to the Cream song “Strange Brew”)

Strange crew
They’ve got there at Fox News

Does that Sean Hannity have a new hairdo?
And will Bill O’Reilly go back on “The View”
No clue
And what will Glenn Beck do?

Strange crew
They’ve got there at Fox News

There’s a long-faced sullen man that’s named Brit Hume
And a blonde-haired guy named Ann Coulter, too
Pee-you
That’s just to name a few

Strange crew
They’ve got there at Fox News

(Misinformation break)

They have a dumb Alaskan known as Sarah P.
And a weekend wimp named Mike Huckabee
Good Lord
Could they be more abhorred?

Strange crew
They’ve got there at Fox News

Strange crew, strange crew
Strange crew, strange crew

Strange crew
They’ve got there at Fox News

Palin (Like Trump) Is A Presidential Poser

And then there was one. Inasmuch as candidate-imposters and Fox News employees Donald “Birther” Trump and Mike Huckabee(Hound) have finally made it official and dropped out of the quest for the 2012 GOP presidential nomination, that leaves only one more pretender in the mix. Sarah Palin (also a Fox News employee), continues to hint that she might seek the Republican nomination. She is a guest for hire on nearly every Fox program whereon she will not answer the question directly, but continues to insist that she has what it takes to be Commander in Chief.

Do not believe her. Like Huckabee and Trump, Sarah Palin is much more interested in simply using the presidential ploy as a means to promote the Palin product. The former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska is well aware of the fact that she will become irrelevant the moment the American people (and tabloid magazines) know that she will not be a candidate. Consequently, she continues the charade for as long as possible with the singular goal of selling more books and landing more television gigs in her quest for celebrity status and the almighty dollar. Sarah Palin does not care about the nation, she cares only about herself. She is a prime example of a narcissist.

It is obvious to the casual observer that Sarah Palin is not qualified to be the President of the United States. Not only did she up and quit her last executive position when things got tough after serving only two years (see, ethics complaints), but since then she has demonstrated that she has a dangerous hair-trigger demeanor. Whenever she is critiqued in a newspaper or magazine, Palin instinctively counter-attacks before the ink has dried by means of the sophomoric mediums of Facebook or Twitter. Whenever an international conflict makes the news, Palin calls for an immediate knee-jerk US military response. Whenever a member of the Obama administration advocates anything (including such things as the promotion of healthy eating), Palin opposes it regardless of merit. Simply stated, Sarah Palin lacks the ability to engage in the process of well thought-out and sober decision-making.

Nonetheless, Palin continues to promote herself as a viable candidate. She appeared with BFF Greta Van Susteren (where else but on Fox News) the other night and was asked if she will run. Palin’s response?

“I think my problem is that I do have the fire in my belly. I am so adamantly supportive of the good, traditional things about America and our free enterprise system and I want to make sure that America is put back on the right track and we only do that by defeating Obama in 2012. I have that fire in my belly.”

She went on to say that what’s holding her back are “practical, pragmatic decisions” including “sacrifices that have to be made on my children’s part… but yeah, the fire in the belly, it’s there. That’s kind of my problem is that it’s such a roaring fire in my belly to preserve and restore all that’s good about America that I struggle with that every single day.”

You see, she keeps the dream alive while simultaneously providing an excuse for her inevitable announcement that she will not throw her hat in the ring. it is interesting that Sarah Palin says that she is concerned about the sacrifices that would have to be made on her children’s part if she chooses to enter the race. She did not appear to be too concerned about that back in 2008 when she elected to be on the Republican ticket before discussing the issue with her children.

Sarah Palin has about 30 seconds left of those famous 15 minutes.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

American Pie song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uAsV5-Hv-7U

ALASKAN PIE

(sung to the Don McLean song “American Pie”)

A long, long time ago…
I can still remember
Palin’s slutty flight attendant style
And when she blew her only chance
With John McCain in the Big Dance
In light of the pregnancy of her child

In February she did shiver
When Levi sold her down the river
Bad news at her doorstep
She didn’t have no more pep

The allegations she denied
Of all those gifts that she did hide
She took Alaskans for a ride
As she cajoled and lied

So bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
And your background boys were making turkey head pie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July

Did you quit the job you love
After talking with God up above?
Did the good Lord tell you so?
Are you still pals with Plumber Joe?
Do dead fish still “go with the flow”?
And can Todd’s sister score me some good blow?

Well you know that your prospects are grim
’cause you’re way way out there on a limb
You’re sure to have the blues
Man, you screwed up those interviews

You’re just a lonely mid-aged “hockey mom”
With real deep frustration and a man that’s dumb
You’re just a third rate school alum
Today your future died

We started singing
Bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
And your background boys were making turkey head pie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July

Now for two years all you did was drone
Remember Sarkozy on the phone?
But just what will your future be?
Will you pester us like a has-been queen?
Will you pout and whine like a spoiled teen?
In a voice that sounds so shrill and mean,

Oh, and when you leave Wasilla town
Take along your beauty pageant crown
And bridges that you burned
Oh, please never return
And those hits you took will leave some marks
A “Barracuda” is no shark
And you were always in the dark
Today your future died

We were singing
Bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
And your background boys were making turkey head pie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July

Helter skelter you are sure to swelter
The ice in your veins may even melt-ah
Ethics problems coming fast
You’re landing hard on your ass
No throwing stones in a house of glass
When you’re starring in a demon cleansing mass

Now your thinning hair reeks with perfume
You’re a spaceman cuz you see the moon
Your fans would shout and dance
Oh, to your “drill baby drill” chants!
Katie Couric made you squirm and squeal
And that was when your fate was sealed
Do you recall what was revealed
The day your future died?

We started singing
Bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
And your background boys were making turkey head pie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July

Oh, and then that look upon your face
Not knowing a Supreme Court case
Forget about the Bush Doctrine
So come on: jack be nimble, jack be quick
Sarah Palin’s no “Maverick”
Cuz she’s just a “Barbie” to Todd’s “Ken”

As we watched you on that debate stage
Your hands were clenched in fists of rage
Everyone then could tell
You were praying for the bell
And as you hoped that you could land a right,
To salvage something of the night
We saw Biden laughing with delight
That day your future died

Joe was singing
Bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
And your background boys were making turkey head pie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July

Palin’s a girl who has the blues
And she cannot handle interviews
She quit her job and walked away
She could not take it any more
She hightailed it right out the door
Just like a scared child, she up and ran away

And in the streets the voters beamed,
The good Lord had fulfilled their dreams
Sherry Johnston was tokin’
The “barracuda” broken
We did not really want to boast
But “Mama Bear” was finally toast
She’ll write about it through her ghost
That day her future died.

And we were singing
Bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
And your background boys were making turkey head pie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July

We were singing
Bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
And your background boys were making turkey head pie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July

Michele Bachmann To Join The Republican Candidates’ Insane Clown Posse

Has there ever been a better example of addition through subtraction? Think about this for a moment. In just the last few weeks a bunch of potential Republican presidential candidates have chickened-out at the thought of opposing President Barack Obama in the 2012 election. Haley “Boss Hog” Barbour, Mike Huckabee(Hound) and Donald “Birther” Trump realized that they had no chance of beating the incumbent and so they wisely ran away with their tails between their legs.

In their absence however, arose wacky Michele Bachmann. The Teapublican Rep. from Minnesota brings more crazy to the table than all three of the aforementioned quitters combined. Luckily for those of us in the audience, it appears more likely that she will run for the presidency. CBS News reports that Michele Bachmann’s insiders say they expect her to get into the presidential race in June–and that Mike Huckabee’s decision not to run created a significant opening for her.

“Michele has been receiving an outpouring of encouragement to run for president–increased phone calls and online messaging,” said a senior adviser. “I can now say it is very likely she will decide to run for president.”

If you have not yet been convinced that Michele Bachmann is kookoo for cocoa puffs, just take a look at some of her more memorable quotes as compiled by The Huffington Post:

  • And what a bizarre time we’re in, when a judge will say to little children that you can’t say the pledge of allegiance, but you must learn that homosexuality is normal and you should try it.”
  • “I wish the American media would take a great look at the views of the people in Congress and find out: Are they pro-America or anti-America?”
  • “There are hundreds and hundreds of scientists, many of them holding Nobel Prizes, who believe in intelligent design.”
  • “I find it interesting that it was back in the 1970s that the swine flu broke out then under another Democrat president Jimmy Carter. And I’m not blaming this on President Obama, I just think it’s an interesting coincidence.”
  • [Gay marriage] is probably the biggest issue that will impact our state and our nation in the last, at least, thirty years. I am not understating that.”
  • “Normalization [of gayness] through desensitization. Very effective way to do this with a bunch of second graders is take a picture of ‘The Lion King’ for instance, and a teacher might say, ‘Do you know that the music for this movie was written by a gay man?’ The message is: ‘I’m better at what I do, because I’m gay.'”
  • “But we also know that the very founders that wrote those documents worked tirelessly until slavery was no more in the United States.”
  • “It is a brand new, billion-dollar high speed train that is going to go from Disneyland up to Las Vegas…Harry Reid, the Senator from Nevada, was behind this measure, and it makes us wonder, is he more interested in making sure kids start gambling at younger ages?”
  • “The President of the United States will be taking a trip over to India that is expected to cost the taxpayers $200 million a day.”

What in the wide, wide world of nonsense is this crackpot talking about? Michele Bachmann could no doubt give Sarah Palin a run for her money in an insanity contest. Her decision to take-on President Obama when more serious contenders have elected to stand on the sidelines is pure folly. You see, the dropouts are smarter than Bachmann. Bill Press of TheHill.com put it best when he said,

“They know the economy’s coming back, under Obamanomics.

They know millions and millions of Americans, who could never afford it before, now have health insurance, under ObamaCare.

They know Obama created 1.3 million new jobs in 2010 alone — more than George W. Bush created in eight years. And that April 2011 was the third straight month where new job growth exceeded 200,000.

And they know gas prices are coming down.

In other words, they know that, for any Republican, running against Barack Obama is a losing proposition. And they wanted no part of it.”

In other words, those dropouts already know what Michele Bachmann will soon learn.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

The Flintstones television theme song link: http://www.televisiontunes.com/Flintstones.html

BACHMANN

(sung to the television theme song “The Flinstones”)

Bachmann. Michele Bachman
A Congresswoman that is bat crazy
She and Sarah Palin
Driving voters from the G.O.P.

She can’t form a sentence that’s complete
Now she’s targeted for big defeat

When you’re Michele Bachmann
You’re just living off the state dime
Endorsing hate crimes
Exposed during prime time

Bachmann. Michele Bachman
Hates Blacks, children and those that are gay
She is clearly brain dead
Can’t seem to get out of her own way

She talks right through the rain, snow and sleet
Every single thought is incomplete

When you’re Michele Bachmann
You’re just living off the state dime
Endorsing hate crimes
Exposed during prime time

Exposed during prime time

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 78

Just a few newsworthy items (and comments thereon) that have been making their way through the political universe this past week but may have escaped your attention. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful day!

BREAKING NEWS:  Former U.S. Sen. George Mitchell (a Bowdoin College alum I might add) is resigning as the Obama administration’s Mideast envoy. Mitchell played a key role in Clinton-era negotiations regarding the status of Northern Ireland that resulted in the Good Friday Peace Agreement. This is not good news.

THIS JUST IN:  In the latest AP poll, 60% of respondents said they approved of Barack Obama‘s job performance, compared to 39% who disapproved. That’s the best rating Obama has received since May 2009 when, riding high after his inauguration, 64% of Americans approved of his job performance. This is good news.

BREAKING NEWS:  In other polling news, Public Policy Polling, found Donald Trump garnering only 8 percent of potential Republican primary voters, down from 26 percent who said they would support him if he ran in PPP’s previous survey. That plunge in support was enough to drop him from a solid first place to a tie for fifth place. So much for The Donald and his birther obsession!

THIS JUST IN:  This week’s episode of “Fighting The Good Fight” features Bernie Sanders and Jim McDermott. Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-Vt.) announced this week that he introduced legislation to provide health care for every American through a Medicare-for-all type single-payer system. Rep. Jim McDermott (D-Wash.) filed a companion bill in the House to provide better care for more patients at less cost by eliminating the middle-man role played by private insurance companies that rake off billions of dollars in profits. The twin measures, both called the American Health Security Act of 2011, would provide federal guidelines and strong minimum standards for states to administer single-payer health care programs.

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Really Distorted And Creepy Remakes Of School-House Rock” features failed 2008 GOP candidate for President, Mike Huckabee and his “Learn Our History” cartoon series. Have a look:

Sure makes you pine for “Conjunction Junction” doesn’t it?

THIS JUST IN: The Tea Party Patriots are advocating an initiative to pressure public schools into teaching the US Constitution based on the writings of W. Cleon Skousen who has suggested such outlandish things as slaves being a happy bunch of folks. MotherJones.com however, informs us that Doug Kendall, President of the Constitutional Accountability Center (a think tank and public interest law firm) is none to happy about this development. He says,

“I defy the Tea Party Patriots to find one credible historian willing to support their view of the Constitution’s history. Before the Tea Party gets to go into school and teach our children about the Constitution, they need to find a tenured professor on the history faculty on one of any of the 50 highest-rated universities in the United States who will vouch for the accuracy of their teachings. To qualify to teach America’s children about the Constitution you need to do more than dress up like James Madison.

The Tea Party Patriots are peddling constitutional gobbledygook masquerading as history. Yet whether it is Tea Party organizations misrepresenting American history, or Tea Party politicians like Rep. Michele Bachmann not knowing what state the battles of Lexington and Concord were fought in, the Tea Party has utterly disqualified itself from serious discussion of our Constitution’s text and history. America’s school boards must flatly reject the Tea Party Patriots’ attempts to muscle their bad history into our children’s classrooms.”

Bravo, Mr. Kendall!

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Republicans Behaving Badly” features the recently resigned GOP Sen. John Ensign. NPR.org reports, “Former Sen. John Ensign of Nevada broke federal law, made false statements to the Federal Election Commission and obstructed a Senate Ethics Committee’s investigation into his conduct, the panel said Thursday in a scathing report that sent the matter to the Justice Department for possible prosecution.” Ouch, that is gonna leave a mark!

THIS JUST IN:  Former failed GOP presidential candidate Mike Huckabee(Hound) announced last night that he will not run again in 2012. He joins other Republican scaredy-cats Haley Barbour, Marco Rubio, Chris Christy, Jeb Bush, Jim Demint, Bobby Jindal and Sarah Palin.

BREAKING NEWS:  This week’s episode of “I Double Dare You” features New jersey high school student Amy Myers who is is challenging Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN) to a debate on civics and the U.S. Constitution. In an open letter to to Bachmann, Myers of Cherry Hill, N.J., said, “I have found quite a few of your statements regarding The Constitution of the United States, the quality of public school education and general U.S. civics matters to be factually incorrect, inaccurately applied or grossly distorted.” “I, Amy Myers, do hereby challenge Representative Michele Bachmann to a Public Forum Debate and/or Fact Test on The Constitution of the United States, United States History and United States Civics.” I’ll take Myers in this one!

THIS JUST IN:  After President Obama announced that he would not release photos of the slain Osama bin Laden because the terrorist “is not a trophy” and “we (i.e the US) do not need to spike the football” and because it would inflame the Muslim world and endanger our troops, conservative windbag Ann Coulter felt the need to speak up. While appearing on Sean Hannity’s Fox News (where else?) program, Coulter chastised the President and said, “We paid for it, we ought to be able to see it.” He then went on to insult the president by saying, “he seems to know less about Arabs than, you know, my dog. Certainly, this Irishman from Long Island knows more.” Who in the wide, wide world of Fox News is “the the Irishman from Long island”? He then wondered off into the ridiculous by saying, ” he’s spiking the football from now until Election Day on this. So, don’t talk down to us about your moral superiority, we don’t need a victory lap. That’s beyond us. And Americans can’t handle this? I think Americans just handled what you showed on your program. And if Americans can handle Hillary Clinton’s ankles, they can handle this photo.” Hilary Clinton’s ankles? Really, can this guy ever have a conversation without delving into the inane? Ann Coulter just might be the shallowest man in America.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Lola song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WJiHp-2CmVY

COULTER

(sung to the Kinks song “Lola”)

I saw her once last week on the Fox network
Where the hosts are lame and the guests are worse like Ann Coulter
She is a revolter
A big Adam’s Apple and masculine hands
She has the curves of a flagpole and a set of big huge molars
M-o-l-a molars mo-mo-mo-mo molars

It might be the world’s most unfunny joke
But if he’s a lady then my glasses are broke
That Ann Coulter co-co-co-co Coulter
Well I’m not dumb but I can’t understand
Why he walks like a woman but looks like a man
That Ann Coulter co-co-co-co Coulter co-co-co-co Coulter

Well he sat right next to Hannity
And then was on Bill O’Reilly
They saw mascara on his eyes so blue
But I swear those guys didn’t have a damn clue
Well I don’t know if they are into men
But the next night on Fox he was on there again that Ann Coulter
Co-co-co-co Coulter co-co-co-co Coulter
Coulter co-co-co-co Coulter co-co-co-co Coulter

I changed the station
M-S-N-B-C
Re-luct-ant-ly
I then turned back to Fox
Then I was convinced she was a he

Well I don’t know what ol Rush Limbaugh thinks
But I like women, not some missing link-like Ann Coulter
Co-co-co-co Coulter’s
he says that her wisdom sells his books
It’s gotta be somethin’ cuz it ain’t his good looks that Ann Coulter
Co-co-co-co Coulter

I took a closer look at Hannity
Now I’m not really so sure that he’s not a she
But this might be the Republican way
A sex change is good cuz then you’re not gay

Well I’m not the world’s most masculine man
And I do not possess giant, hairy man-hands
Like that Mann Coulter
Co-co-co-co Coulter co-co-co-co Coulter
Coulter co-co-co-co Coulter co-co-co-co Coulter

(fade)

Revisionist Right-Wingers Fail To Mention Obama

If you were to believe the quotes of so many conservative right-wingers, you would think that President Barack Obama had absolutely nothing to do with the May 1, 2011 eradication of 9/11 mastermind terrorist Osama bin Laden. Many members of the GOP, including a good number of presidential hopefuls, have performed amazing acts of linguistic contortion so as to avoid mentioning the fact that President Obama is responsible for ordering the successful mission in which bin Laden was killed. Conservative political pundits have taken the same approach in an attempt to avoid that 800 pond gorilla in the room. These folks somehow praise everybody without even mentioning the current president. With all this revisionism, one might think that the conservatives are a little jealous that a Democratic Party president achieved in 2.5 years what Republican war-hawk George W. Bush could not achieve in over 7 years. Here are some examples of how they are ignoring Barack Obama’s role as Commander in Chief:

Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN):  “I want to express my deepest gratitude to the men and women of the U.S. military and intelligence community. Their persistence and dedicated service has yielded success in a mission that has gripped our nation since the terrible events of 9/11. Tonight’s news does not bring back the lives of the thousands of innocent people who were killed that day by Osama bin Laden’s horrific plan, and it does not end the threat posed by terrorists, but it is my hope that this is the beginning of the end of Sharia-compliant terrorism.”

Presidential candidate Rick Santorum:  “This is extraordinary news for all freedom loving people of the world, and I commend all those involved for this historic triumph. Americans have waited nearly ten years for the news of Osama bin Laden’s death. And while this is a very significant objective that cannot be minimized, the threat from Jihadism does not die with bin Laden. As we were vigilant in taking him out we need to demonstrate we will continue to be vigilant until the enemy has been subdued.”

Republican National Committee Chairman Reince Priebus:  “Today is a tremendous day for our nation and the world, but most importantly those who lost loved ones on that horrific day,” said Priebus. “Justice was delivered to a ruthless terrorist courtesy of men and women of the United States military. For nearly a decade, literally thousands of American service members, intelligence officers and civilians have made it their mission to capture or kill the mastermind of September 11th. Tonight we honor their work and congratulate them on a job well done.”

Failed 2008 Presidential Candidate Mike Huckabee:  “It has taken a long time for this monster to be brought to justice. Welcome to hell, bin Laden. Let us all hope that his demise will serve notice to Islamic radicals the world over that the United States will be relentless in tracking down and terminating those who would inflict terror, mayhem and death on any of our citizens.”

Failed 2008 Candidate For Vice President and Quitting Half-Term Gov. of Alsaka, Sarah Palin:  “Yesterday was a testament to the military’s dedication in relentlessly hunting down an enemy through many years of war, and we thank our president. … We thank President Bush for having made the right calls to set up this victory.”

Radio Host and Drug Addicted Racist Rush Limbaugh: (Sarcastically said) “President Obama – not a single intelligence adviser, not a single national security adviser, not a single military adviser came up with the idea of using Seal Team Six or any of the Special Forces. Our military wanted to go in there and just scorch the Earth leaving no evidence of anything after the mission. But President Obama single-handedly understood what was at stake here. He alone understood the need to get DNA. To prove the death, Obama alone understood the aftermath, alone understood that there would be doubting Thomases if the place was just obliterated and no evidence was to be found.”

Fox News: The Republican propaganda network broadcasted the following headline, “Obama Bin Laden Dead”.

All of this simply proves that there are some really strange ones on the right.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Strangers In The Night song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rDA33hGFNgQ&feature=related

STRANGE ONES ON THE RIGHT

(sung to the Frank Sinatra song “Strangers In The Night”)

Strange ones on the right,
Fox News romancers
Not so very bright,
With our finances
This Tea Party love
Should be viewed as taboo

Palin shouting lies
And fear inciting
Rand Paul is hostile
And so damn frightening
Boehner has no heart
McConnell has no clue

Strange ones on the right,
Abnormal people
They are strange ones on the right
Not one sane moment
They should be in a freak-show
Little do they know
It would just enhance our day
If like Bristol they’d dance away and –

On Fox every night,
They’re all together
Lovers on the right
In love forever
It’s an ugly sight
Those strange ones on the right

(witchcraft break)

Don’t look now just glance away
Here comes their jailbird Tom Delay

You can join their fight
And hang together
Only if you’re white
Birds of a feather
Taking their last flight
Those strange ones on the right

Beck And Huckabee: Nazis And Cancer

This week’s episode of Celebrity Death Match features former Arkansas Governor and failed 2008 Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee(Hound) and moonbat-crazy, soon to be former Fox News host Glenn Beck(enstein).

The feud began when Beck labeled Huckabee as a “progressive” on his radio show because of his forthright support for First Lady Michelle Obama’s anti-obesity initiatives. Leaving aside for the moment the ridiculous notion that somehow fighting obesity can be categorized as “bad” or “progressive”, Beck often compares the term “progressive” to cancer and Nazis. Then again, Beck pretty much compares everything to Nazis.

Mike Huckabee however, was not amused. CNN reports that Huckabee took to his blog to blast Beck in response, saying, “This week Glenn Beck has taken to his radio show to attack me as a progressive, which he has said is the same as a ‘cancer’ and a ‘Nazi.’ What did I do that apparently caused him to link me to a fatal disease and a form of government that murdered millions of innocent Jews?” Huckabee did not stop there. He went on to write,

“He seems to fancy himself a prophet of sorts for his linking so many people and events together to describe a massive global conspiracy for pretty much everything. His ridiculous claim that John McCain and I collaborated and conspired in the 2008 campaign is especially laughable…Beck needs to stick to conspiracies that can’t be so easily de-bunked by facts. Why Beck has decided to aim his overloaded guns on me is beyond me. He ought to clean his gun and point it more carefully lest it blow up in his face like it did this time.”

As we have said so many times in the past, is there anything more entertaining than watching conservatives eat their young?

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

The Fool On The Hill song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3KXrrh74wTs&feature=related

THE FOOL WHO KNOWS NIL

(sung to the Beatles song, “The Fool On The Hill”)

Day after day
He gives us a chill
Glenn Beck is crying again
Let’s watch his eyes start to fill

And nobody wants to know him
They can see that he’s just a fool
And he has not one good answer
Beck’s the fool who knows nil

George Soros stares him down
And Glenn’s face grows bright red
As his head spins around

Glenn’s head today,
Filled up with sound
Beck’s head hears a thousand voices
Screaming nonsense so loud

Everybody wants to jeer him
For the weeping that he does fake
Yet Glenn never seems to notice
Beck’s the fool who knows nil

He’s a dim-witted clown
In need of some strong meds
Beck’s off to crazy-town

(musical interlude)

And nobody seems to like him
It looks like he’s back on the booze
Or maybe he’s back drug dealing
Beck’s the fool who knows nil

He’s beginning to drown
And his sponsors have fled
Soon he’ll be not around

Oh, round, an’ round, an’ round, an’ round, an’ round
Nobody listens to him
They know that he’s a fool
They don’t like him
The fool who knows nil

He’s beginning to drown
And his sponsors have fled
Soon he’ll be not around

Oh, round, an’ round, an’ round, an’ round
Oh …

Donald Trump Is Dumb As A Stump

Trump is as crazy as he looks!

Each passing day Donald Trump appears to be inching closer to announcing that he will run as a Republican candidate in 2012 for the office of President of the United States. It only makes sense inasmuch as the potential field of GOP candidates is already chock-full of certified lunatics like Sarah “Queen of Quit” Palin, Michele “Light-Bulb Loving” Bachmann, Rick “Man on Dog” Santorum, Haley “Boss Hog” Barbour, Newt “Resign in Disgrace” Gingrich and Rudy “A Noun, A Verb and 9/11″ Giuliani. Adding Donald Trump to the mix is akin to stuffing an extra clown in the Volkswagen Beetle at the circus. Entertaining, yet harmless fun for the viewing audience.

The Donald announced that he will be headed to Iowa in June. While there, he will headline the state Republican Party’s annual Lincoln Dinner in Des Moines. Iowa of course, plays an important role in the presidential election because its caucuses are the first in the nation. Trump has also declared that he will speak in New Hampshire in June. That state is also considered to be critically important to any presidential candidate because it holds the nation’s first primary election. It should also be noted that Trump spoke at February’s CPAC (Conservative Political Action Conference) which is a “who’s who” of potential GOP presidential candidates. Trump maintains that he will formally announce his presidential intentions in June.

Donald Trump is a perfect fit for the Republican nomination because he shares so many traits with other Republican politicians. The thrice married “family values” Trump is a serial philanderer like Rudy Giuliani and Newt Gingrich. He is a reality television series host like Sarah Palin. The former enthusiastic proponent of universal health care has now flip-flopped on the issue just like Mitt “Personal Mandates are Good” Romney. He is employed by Fox News along with Palin and Huckabee (and recently, Bolton and Santorum). Trump is also a “Birther” like Michele Bachmann, who doubts that President Barack Obama was born in the United States. When you consider that The Donald has also filed for bankruptcy on at least 4 occasions, it begs the question, “who would be more suited to lead our nation out of the worst economic downturn since the Great Depression?”

This week Trump has doubled-down on his “Birther” allegation. CNN reports that Trump is so doubtful of President Obama’s birthplace that he has “sent a team of his own investigators to Hawaii in hopes of getting to the bottom of the issue”. In an interview with NBC he said that his investigators might uncover “one of the greatest cons in the history of politics and beyond.” He added, “I have people that have been studying it and they cannot believe what they’re finding.”

CNN counters however, that in “2008, the Obama campaign produced a certification of live birth that reports his birthplace as Honolulu, Hawaii – a document the Hawaii government says is official evidence of his birth in the state. Among other evidence of Obama’s birth there is the fact the hospital where he was born took out ads in two Hawaiian newspapers in 1961 announcing the birth, while current Gov. Neil Abercrombie says he knew Obama’s family and remembers his birth.”

In the NBC interview, Trump also claims that he is more serious than ever about running for president, but he will not make a decision until this season of his reality television program “Celebrity Apprentice” is finished. How is that for arranging one’s priorities? Trump’s television show takes precedence over his decision to lead the most influential nation on earth! He is just the sort of person that I would want in control of that famous “red button”.

So, buy a box of popcorn and a horn of cotton candy, take your seat and enjoy this election cycle’s version of the Republican Bros. Flying Presidential Circus.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody. Enjoy!

Big Bad John song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BWKGhwwVgKY

BIG DUMB DON

(sung to the Johnny Cash song “Big Bad John”)

Dumb Don
Dumb Don

Every Tuesday at nine, you will see him arrive
He stands 6 foot 5, weighs 289
A reality show host who’s not very hip
He fires contestants if they should give him any lip, he’s Dumb Don

Dumb Don
Dumb Don
Big Dumb Don
Dumb Don

He wears a toupee atop his big dome
Donald Trump acts like a clown, still he seeks the throne
A dim-witted putz, he’s not a bright guy
Claims he robbed Quadafi but that’s a lie – Dumb Don
The nit-wit hails from the borough called Queens
And he has managed to file too many bankruptcies
Filed so many you can’t count them on one hand
Yet Trump still thinks he’ll lead the country to the promised land – Dumb Don

Dumb Don
Dumb Don
Big Dumb Don
Dumb Don

Head made of clay and he loses every dime
He owned a football team that lost all the time
Built a casino, it did not last
Then the taxpayers bailed out his sorry ass – Dumb Don
Through the dust and the smoke as his empire fell
Crawled this maggot of a man that will soon rot in hell
Called a willing banker and he begged for a loan
But when asked for collateral he said “it’s all been blown” – Dumb Don

Dumb Don
Dumb Don
Big Dumb Don
Dumb Don

And now Donald Trump thinks that the Lord up above
Will stroke his election dreams with a velvet glove
Yet little does he know that he can’t be saved
Donald’s campaign is headed to the grave – Dumb Don
Don Trump won’t earn his seat in DC Town
Let’s all watch his big smile turn to a frown
And as The Donald learns life is unkind
All of us just knew it was the end of the line, for Dumb Don

Dumb Don
Dumb Don
Big Dumb Don
Dumb Don

Let’s hope that we are done with this worthless twit
Even Tea-Baggers know Trump’s an idiot
If only the future could be planned
We would love to say, “You’re Fired!” to this shell of a man – Dumb Don

Dumb Don
Dumb Don
Big Dumb Don
Dumb Don

Palin Plummets In Polls (Again)

Once again the question is, “How low can she go”? The most recent NBC News/Wall Street Journal survey reveals that Sarah Palin’s unfavorable rating has hit an all time high for that particular polling group. As of last Wednesday, 53 percent of all Americans say they hold a negative or very negative view of the ex-quitting former half-term Governor of Alaska. To add insult to injury, only 25 percent view Caribou Barbie favorably. That 25 percent figure is tied with Republican George W. Bush and 1 point behind Republican Richard Nixon for the worst numbers ever. She has already surpassed Democrat Jimmy Carter’s worst number which was 28 percent. In earlier polls conducted by the same group last December and one year ago, the unfavorable rating was 50 percent and 45 percent respectively. This is not a hopeful trend for someone considering a run for the presidency.

Palin received even worse numbers still in a poll released last month by Bloomberg. That poll revealed that the palm-note scribbling maverick is viewed unfavorably by 60 percent of American adults. That number is higher than the worst numbers ever recorded by even Nanvy Pelosi. Ouch, that is going to leave a very noticeable mark!

Even the Tea Partiers are running away from their former darling. Sarah Palin is now ranked a lowly fourth by the Tea Baggers. She trails Donald Trump, Mitt Romney and Mike Huckabee respectively in garnering support from the colonial era attired crowd. About the only supporters she has left are the First Dude’s snow-machine team and even that may be in jeopardy if the National Enquirer‘s previous rumors of a marital split prove to be true.

It now seems more obvious than ever that Sarah Palin’s 15 minutes of fame have expired. She lost her 2008 run for the Vice Presidency. She quit only halfway through her term as Governor of Alaska. Her unreality television show was canceled and now her supporters are fleeing the Good Ship Palin like rats from a sinking garbage barge. Sarah, we hardly knew ye!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s always popular song parody.

Rawhide song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ldkxqiosXYY

POLL-SLIDE

(sung to the TV theme of, “Rawhide”)

Fallin’ Fallin’ Fallin’
Fallin’ Fallin’ Fallin’
Fallin’ Fallin’ Fallin’
Fallin’ Fallin’ Fallin’
Poll Slide

Keep movin’, movin’, movin’
People disapprovin’
Sarah’s not improvin’, Poll-Slide!
She cannot understand ‘em,
She hopes results are random,
Soon she’ll be in a double-wide.
There’s no way of definin’
Just why the polls declinin’, declinin’ like a massive
Landslide.

Headin’ down, movin’ fast,
Losin’ ground, ship her out,
Headin’ down, movin’ fast
Poll-Slide!
Kick her out,  shoot her down,
Send her home, push her out,
Kick her butt, fallin’ fast
Poll-Slide!

Fallin’ Fallin’ Fallin’
Her eyeballs are ballin’
How come no-one’s callin’?
Poll-Slide!
It looks like stormy weather
And she’s light like a feather
She’ll be swept under by the tide.
She’ll be unemployed soon,
A wolf killin’ buffoon,
And all this resultin’ from her lies

Headin’ down, movin’ fast,
Losin’ ground, ship her out,
Headin’ down, movin’ fast
Poll-Slide!
Kick her out,  shoot her down,
Send her home, push her out,
Kick her butt, fallin’ fast
Poll-Slide!

Fallin’ Fallin’ Fallin’
Fallin’ Fallin’ Fallin’
Fallin’ Fallin’ Fallin’
Fallin’ Fallin’ Fallin’
Poll Slide

Sarah Palin’s “How To Lose Friends And Alienate Voters”

Not Anymore!

Sometimes you just have to give credit where credit is due. This time the kudos go to Sarah Palin. She has now definitively re-written the book on “How to Lose Friends and Alienate Voters.”

Earlier this week Sarah Palin did what all serious contenders for the Republican nomination for President of the United States must do. She traveled to Israel. This is a right of passage for all potential GOP candidates for POTUS. As a candidate, George W. Bush, Mitt Romney, Haley Barbour, Mike Huckabee, Tim Pawlenty, Newt Gingrich and many, many other Republicans have made this trip. The purpose of such a trip is to signal to the hawkish conservative right and to Jewish voters in the US that the candidate stands firm in his/her commitment to the nation of Israel. In return, the potential candidate hopes to reap Jewish/American campaign donations and votes. It is a win-win situation for both the candidate and Israel.

Such is not the case however with regard to Sarah Palin. Only the former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska could manage to lose friends, money and votes by means of her trip. David Frum, a former special assistant to President George W. Bush from 2001 t0 2002 explains in a column written for CNN.com just how the Queen of Quit may have hurt herself with her visit to Israel.

Frum opines that Palin’s decision to book her trip through a Christian tour operator and not the Republican Jewish Coalition was a big mistake. He writes,

Joining an RJC Israel tour is a well-established ritual in gaining the support of the RJC’s board and the group’s 40,000 activist members.

The RJC’s board of directors includes four people who have served as national finance chairs for the Republican Party — the party’s “fundraiser-in-chief.” Eight board members have run major donor groups within the GOP and 18 members served as state finance chairs for George W. Bush’s re-election in 2004. It also includes some less distinguished figures — me, for example.

The RJC local chapters are active in almost every state. Jewish Republican may seem a minority of a minority, but the local chapters contain disproportionate numbers of local Republican activists — the kind of people who make a difference in a state primary…

Over the months since November 2008, the RJC had repeatedly offered to organize an Israel tour for Palin. They have repeatedly invited Palin to speak at their meetings. As a member of the RJC board, I know that Palin’s team engaged in extended conversations about these invitations. Yet they were abruptly shelved. The RJC organization learned that its invitation would not be accepted the same way everybody else did: by reading the newspaper.

Over two months of campaigning in September and October 2008, Palin’s poll numbers tumbled among women and independents. Yet even after the November 2008 loss, Palin remained hugely popular among Republicans.

She has spent the past 2½ years throwing that popularity away, piece by piece. Palin has worked hard to convince even the most ardent Republicans that she would be a doomed candidate and a disastrous president.

With the particular plan she chose for her trip to Israel, Palin alienated a few more potential friends — important ones.

So there you have it. Once again Sarah Palin has managed to make a rose smell like manure.

Inasmuch as we are still talking about the Israel trip, Lynnrockets has the opportunity to re-post a song parody which was originally posted last Saturday. We generally prefer to compose new song parodies as much as possible but since this particular song appeared only on the weekend when readership is down, we thought we would post it once again. Please enjoy!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody. Enjoy!

Hava Naguila song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J_G1jF4Pnh0

SHE’S FROM WASILLA

(sung to the Harry Belafonte version of  “Hava Naguila”)

She’s from Wasilla
She’s a moose griller
Built a new villa
Sarah Palin

John McCain killer
Hate speech distiller
Endorsed Joe Miller
Sarah Palin

Off to the Holy Land
She’s there to lend a hand
Flames of hatred to fan
Sarah Palin

Travelling one-gal band
Waiving her hundred-grand
Universally panned
Sarah Palin

No clue, like Charlie Sheen
Tea-Party Queen, yes that is Sarah
She loves to preen, too much mascara
Palin’s a scream, that’s right she’ll scare-ya
Tea-Baggers’ dream with beehive hair
Nasty and mean
Throw in obscene
That’s Sarah Palin

Low-rent thought-chiller
A Phyllis Diller
She hates Ben Stiller
Sarah Palin

Next trip? Manila
Speak with gorilla
She’s not vanilla
Sarah Palin

Off to the Holy Land
Crib notes upon her hand
Flames of hatred to fan
Sarah Palin

Travelling one-gal band
A flaming fire-brand
She really should be banned
Sarah Palin

No clue, like Charlie Sheen
Tea-Party Queen, yes that is Sarah
She loves to preen, too much mascara
Palin’s a scream, that’s right she’ll scare-ya
Tea-Baggers’ dream with beehive hair
Nasty and mean
Throw in obscene
That’s Sarah Palin

She’s from Wasilla
She’s a moose griller
Built a new villa
Sarah Palin

John McCain killer
Hate speech distiller
Endorsed Joe Miller
Sarah Palin

Off to the Holy Land
Sporting her desert tan
Flames of hatred to fan
Sarah Palin

Travelling one-gal band
Next stop is Disney Land
She really should be banned
Sarah Palin

No clue, like Charlie Sheen
Tea-Party Queen, yes that is Sarah
She loves to preen, too much mascara
Palin’s a scream, that’s right she’ll scare-ya
Tea-Baggers’ dream with beehive hair
Nasty and mean
Throw in obsceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeene
That’s Sarah Paliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin