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Are Palin And Teapublicans No Longer BFF’s ?
It appears as if there is no end in sight to all of the recent Teapublican infighting. First we witnessed the battle over earmarks between establishment GOP members of Congress and their newly elected Tea Party compatriots. Next, there was the battle between the various Tea Party factions over just which organizational branch of the movement (i.e. Tea Party Express, Tea Party Nation, Tea Party Patriots, Freedom Works etc.) is the true leader of the Tea Party. Now we have a Sarah Palin, Tea Party, Republican rift in the making.
This Monday, Tea Party Nation called upon Sarah Palin to replace the demonized Michael Steele as chairperson of the Republican National Committee (RNC). The ex-quitting former half-term governor of Alaska seemed the perfect choice for the job. She is much more popular than Steele. She has demonstrated the ability to raise large amounts of money. Her celebrity status would ensure constant media spotlighting, and most important of all, she is as crazy as a demented old cat lady. It would appear to be a match made made in some radically conservative yet illiterate version of Heaven.
Yet, something funny happened on the way to the RNC chairmanship. Sarah Palin “refudiated” the Tea Party and insulted the RNC chairperson’s position with one curt statement. She immediately informed the Tea Party organization that she was not interested in becoming what she referred to as the GOP’s fundraiser in chief.
Tea Party Nation however, did not spend a lot of time mourning its loss. By Tuesday, the organization had already chosen a successor to Palin. The organization is now throwing its support behind the little known former Michigan state GOP Chairman, Saul Anuzis. Tea Party Nation spokesperson, Judson Phillips touts Anuzis as a supporter of the Tea Party in Michigan but admits that outside the committee he is virtually unknown.
Please tune in to Fox News tomorrow for another compelling episode of “Teapublicans Eating Their Own”.
SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT
Lynnrockets needs your help. Boston’s largest talk radio station (WRKO AM) has chosen Lynnrockets as a finalist in its “Next Great Political Blogger Contest”. Yours truly has been selected by the station’s staff (from over 200 entries) to be one of 10 finalists for a position with the station as a “liberal” blogger. There will be two winners (a “liberal” and a “conservative”) chosen by means of internet votes received. This is our chance to get even with the Palinbots for what they did for Bristol Palin on “Dancing With The Stars”. Like Bristol, I lack talent but with all of you voting for me, I may be able to pull-off an upset win. I offer my eternal gratitude if you loyal Rocketeers will visit the WRKO website (Here) and vote for wait…wait…here comes the spoiler…”Kevin McCarthy”. Looks like I’ve now been officially outed. Please vote early and often as the contest ends on Saturday, December 11th at 11:59pm EST. I would truly appreciate your help and if you really want to be of assistance, please encourage your family and friends to vote also, too!
In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s Holiday Season inspired song parody.
Rockin’ Around The Christmas Tree song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bnIqLlBwzrc
THE TEA PARTY HOP
(sung to the Christmas song “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree”)
Walkin’ around with Hannity
At the new Tea Party Hop
Misspelled signs everywhere you see
Every TV’s tuned to Fox
Rockin’ around their lynching tree
As the racist moonbats sing
“Let’s go hang that Obama guy”
“As we do some caroling”
They all get a sentimental feeling, when they hear
Glenn Beck singing, “Let’s be jolly”
As he drives his koo-koo trolley
Rockin’ out with the Tea Party
And their jailbird Tom Delay
Bachmann’s walking unsteadily
Cuz she’s drunk from spiked Kool-Aid
(tax break)
They all get a sentimental feeling, when they hear
“Tax cuts for the rich, By-Golly”
No need to be melancholy
Ridin’ around with Sarah P.
On her gas powered snow sleigh
Palin is so damn “mavericky”
In her Sarah Palin way!
Sarah Palin’s Californication
The mean-spirited and spiteful Sarah Palin was up to her old tricks again on Saturday. The former half-term ex-quitting Governor of Alaska spoke at a Republican National Committee (RNC) fundraiser in Anaheim but failed to mention by name either Carly Fiorina or Meg Whitman. That would normally be considered surprising in that Fiorina is California’s Republican candidate for U.S. Senate and Whitman is the Republican candidate for Governor and the event was held in their state. It was not surprising however, when one considers who was speaking.
You see, Sarah Palin is a very thin-skinned individual. Recognizing that Palin is not very popular in California, both Fiorina and Whitman avoided the event so as not to turn-off any potential voters that might otherwise support them. Palin is a polarizing figure among Californians with 53 percent having an unfavorable view of her while only 33 percent report a favorable opinion. Consequently, both candidates announced sometime ago that they would be unable to attend as the result of prior scheduled commitments.
Sarah Palin did not take this slight (or any slight for that matter) lightly. Rather than try to help the party as a whole by requesting support for those two Republican candidates in their home state, Palin chose to appease her own fragile ego instead, by ignoring their names entirely. It was the typical type of petty tit-for-tat revenge that Palin all too often engages. Remember her multiple feuds with McCain staff members after her disastrous run for Vice President? The Letterman incident? Her harsh words for former sweetheart and newly elected Republican Senator, Scott Brown after he chose not to attend her Boston Tea Party rally? All standard fare for the Queen of Quit.
The RNC event was also notable for another reason. Palin’s attendance served to prove her a liar once again. You may recall a number of months ago after it was revealed that the RNC paid for some ribald revelry at a lesbian/bondage/strip-club, Palin reasoned that it would not be good for her fabricated brand as a “family values – hockey mom” to be associated any longer with that group of neanderthals. Consequently, she demanded that her name be removed from a list of invited speakers at an RNC event in New Orleans. She also publicly announced that she would no longer donate or help to raise funds for the group.
Well, something funny happened on the way to Palin’s boycott of the RNC. The feeble-minded failed politician either forgot about it, or she simply went back on her word as she has done so many times in the past. Just another example of the fact that Sarah Palin’s word cannot be trusted.
Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.
Mean Mr. Mustard song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_FpMBu4Duy4
MEAN SARAH PALIN
(sung to the Beatles song “Mean Mr. Mustard”)
Mean Sarah Palin lives in the dark
Pit-Bull that barks trying to plan capers
Looks like she’s gonna explode
Loves to sport her RNC clothes
Has a ten-foot fenced-in abode
Such a mean wo-man
Such a mean wo-man
Her husband Todd shoots off the top
He never stops, he’s an e-mailer
He’s the king while she is the queen
Craziest couple we’ve ever seen
Proud of their unwed pregnant teen
Such a dirty old man
Dirty wo-man
Independent Thoughts On Independence Day
First of all, Lynnrockets’ Blast-Off would like to wish all of you a very happy Independence Day. Now let’s get to it…
BREAKING NEWS: One has to wonder about all the doom and gloom surrounding the June 2010 employment statistics. This week the Bureau of Labor Statistics released data that indicates that the nation added 83,000 jobs last month. The mainstream pundits went apopleptic and decried the figure as being miserable because May’s numbers were so much higher (as the result of temporary government census jobs). But take a step back for a moment and remember that when George W. Bush left office, we were losing 700,000 jobs per month. In other words, the nation was bleeding uncontrollably. We are now adding jobs and I can assure you that each of those 83,000 new hires is happier with the direction the economy is headed now rather than during Bush’s term.
THIS JUST IN: This week’s edition of “Don’t Let The Facts Get In The Way Of A Good Story” features Republican National Committee (RNC) Chairman Michael Steele who said that Afghanistan is an unwinnable war of Obama’s choosing. Was he the guy in the film that rhetorically asked if the Americans quit when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?
BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “No, Actually You Heard That Correctly” features Fox News host Glenn Beck. The non-college educated, drug addict, philandering Beck has announced the creation of his very own online college to be known as Beck University. Beck’s website states:
This July, while others are relaxing poolside, head back to the classroom – from the comfort of your own home. That may sound like an oxymoron but Glenn’s new academic program is only available online.
Offered exclusively to Insider Extreme subscribers, Beck University is a unique academic experience bringing together experts in the fields of religion, American history and economics. Through captivating lectures and interactive online discussions, these experts will explore the concepts of Faith, Hope and Charity and show you how they influence America’s past, her present and most importantly her future.
The Philadelphia Daily News says, “Unlike Harvard or Yale, where Beck was a half-term (sound familiar?) student in one theology course after his ex-friend Joe Lieberman pulled some strings, Beck U. is strictly a profit deal. Only by paying Glenn Beck Inc. to become an extreme insider ($9.95 a month, or $74.95) can you enroll on Beck’s pseudo-cyber-campus. How else do you think Beck expects to sell that $4.25 million manse and move into bigger digs?
THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “The Truth Hurts” features Lindsey Graham. South Carolina’s Republican Senator told The New York Times this week, that “The problem with the Tea Party, I think its just unsustainable because they can never come up with a coherent vision of governing the country. It will die out.” Be careful Lindsey, you have now become the target of a multitude of misspelled signs.
BREAKING NEWS: This week’s edition of “The Worst President Of The Modern Era” features George W. Bush. ThinkProgress.org reports, “Since 1982, the Siena Research Institute has polled presidential scholars on whom they view to be best and worst presidents in American history, based on a variety of issues from “integrity” to economic stewardship. This year’s poll of 238 scholars found that President Franklin Roosevelt was once again ranked on top, joined by Presidents Lincoln, Jefferson, Washington, and Teddy Roosevelt to complete the top five. However, President George W. Bush did not fare well since the last poll was conducted in 2002. He dropped 16 places to 39th, making him the worst president since Warren Harding died in office in 1923, and one of the bottom five of all time.” Ouch. To add insult to the Republican Party’s injury, the list showed that Bill Clinton is ranked higher than Ronald Reagan. Oh, the humanity!
THIS JUST IN: This week’s edition of “Is That A Potato In Your Pants Or Are You Just Happy To Meet Me” features Sarah Palin and the guy in the blue shirt about 46 seconds into the video. Lynnrockets would like to thank readers nswfm and Pat in MA for bringing this to our attention.
Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.
American Pie song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uAsV5-Hv-7U
ALASKAN PIE
(sung to the Don McLean song “American Pie”)
A long, long time ago…
I can still remember
Palin’s slutty flight attendant style
And when she blew her only chance
With John McCain in the Big Dance
In light of the pregnancy of her child
In February she did shiver
When Levi sold her down the river
Bad news at her doorstep
She didn’t have no more pep
The allegations she denied
Of all those gifts that she did hide
She took Alaskans for a ride
As she cajoled and lied
So bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
And your background boys were making turkey head pie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July
Did you quit the job you love
After talking with God up above?
Did the good Lord tell you so?
Are you still pals with Plumber Joe?
Do dead fish still go with the flow?
And can Todd’s sister score me some good blow?
Well you know that your prospects are grim
’cause you’re way way out there on a limb
You’re sure to have the blues
Man, you screwed up those interviews
You’re just a lonely mid-aged “hockey mom”
With real deep frustration and a man that’s dumb
You’re just a third rate school alum
Today your future died
We started singing
Bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
And your background boys were making turkey head pie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July
Now for two years all you did was drone
Remember Sarkozy on the phone?
But just what will your future be?
Will you pester us like a has been queen?
Will you pout and whine like a spoiled teen?
In a voice that sounds so shrill and mean,
Oh, and when you leave Wasilla town
Take along your beauty pageant crown
And bridges that you burned
Oh, please never return
And those hits you took will leave some marks
A “Barracuda” is no shark
And you were always in the dark
Today your future died
We were singing
Bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
And your background boys were making turkey head pie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July
Helter skelter you are sure to swelter
The ice in your veins may even melt-ah
Ethics problems coming fast
You’re landing hard on your ass
No throwing stones in a house of glass
When you’re starring in a demon cleansing mass
Now your thinning hair reeks with perfume
You’re a spaceman cuz you see the moon
Your fans would shout and dance
Oh, to your “drill baby drill” chants!
Katie Couric made you squirm and squeal
And that was when your fate was sealed
Do you recall what was revealed
The day your future died?
We started singing
Bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
And your background boys were making turkey head pie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July
Oh, and then that look upon your face
Not knowing a Supreme Court case
Forget about the Bush Doctrine
So come on: jack be nimble, jack be quick
Sarah Palin’s no “Maverick”
Cuz she’s just a “Barbie” to Todd’s “Ken”
As we watched you on that debate stage
Your hands were clenched in fists of rage
Everyone then could tell
You were praying for the bell
And as you hoped that you could land a right,
To salvage something of the night
We saw Biden laughing with delight
That day your future died
Joe was singing
Bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
And your background boys were making turkey head pie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July
Palin’s a girl who has the blues
And she cannot handle interviews
She quit her job and walked away
She could not take it any more
She hightailed it right out the door
Just like a scared child, she up and ran away
And in the streets the voters beamed,
The good Lord had fulfilled their dreams
Sherry Johnston was tokin’
The “barracuda” broken
We did not really want to boast
But “Mama Bear” was finally toast
She’ll write about it through her ghost
That day her future died.
And we were singing
Bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
And your background boys were making turkey head pie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July
We were singing
Bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
And your background boys were making turkey head pie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July
Sunday Mid-Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 34
Just a few noteworthy news satellites that have been careening around the blogosphere this week. Sorry about the late start today folks as well as yesterday’s lack of a post. I’ll try to be more regular (so to speak).
BREAKING NEWS: Rumor has it that when Sarah Palin took to the witness stand in Tennessee and was asked by the court clerk if “everything you say will be the truth; the whole truth and nothing but the truth; so help you God?”, the former ex-quitting Governor of Alaska replied, “Ya Betcha!”.
THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of I Saw It On The Internet, So It Must Be True features Republican National Committee Chairman Michael Steele. Last week, a group of gay and lesbian members of the military chained themselves to the fence surrounding the White House as a means to protest the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy. However, when Steele walked by and noticed the shackled lesbians, he felt obligated to pay a cover charge and tip the girls.
BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of Legislate To Hate features Republican Arizona Governor Jan Brewer who signed a controversial racial profiling bill into law last week. The law requires that police stop and question drivers about their immigration status if they have a “reasonable belief” that their status is in question. In short, the newly created crime will be known as DWB (i.e. driving while brown).
THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of Republicans Who Can’t Walk And Chew Gum At The Same Time features South Carolina Senator, Lindsey Graham. On Saturday he said Saturday he’s abandoning talks on climate change legislation because he believes Democratic efforts to bring up a separate immigration reform package is undermining the legislative process. In a letter that he released to the press, Graham said,
Moving forward on immigration – in this hurried, panicked manner – is nothing more than a cynical political ploy.
In response, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid said the Democratic Party remains committed to both issues and,
I appreciate the work of Senator Graham on both of these issues and understand the tremendous pressure he is under from members of his own party not to work with us on either measure, but I will not allow him to play one issue off of another, and neither will the American people. They expect us to do both, and they will not accept the notion that trying to act on one is an excuse for not acting on the other.
BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of Another Birther Bites The Dust features Army Lt. Col. Terrence Lakin who last month, released a YouTube video in which he explained that he would not report for a second tour in Afghanistan until President Obama proves he is a citizen. The Army did not take kindly to his stated intentions, so formal court martial charges have been brought against Lakin, for failing to follow orders, the military said today. Will Lakin be fortunate enough to be Tea-Bagged while in a military brink? Don’t ask, don’t tell.
THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of Republicans Behaving Badly features both racist Glenn Beck of Fox News and secessionist Governor Rick Perry of Texas. You might recall the time when Beck, while interviewing Perry, admitted that he would like to give him a French kiss. Well, it looks like Beck got his chance yesterday. Fox News host Glenn Beck appeared with Texas Gov. Rick Perry, who is running on the Republican ticket for re-election at a Tea-Party style town hall meeting. Any Texas Rocketeers know if the kiss took place?
BREAKING NEWS: Remember back last October when we blogged that the The Clare Boothe Luce (whoever the hell she is) Policy Institute had released its fifth annual “Great American Conservative Women Calendar for 2010″? Besides the fact that the words, “Great American” and “Conservative Women” are mutually exclusive, who in the mad, mad, mad, mad, mad world of marketing ever could believe that such a thing could sell? Now we wonder, did they actually sell any of those calendars? Has anyone seen one?
Rather than list the names of the morons that will be featured in the calendar, we felt that we would simply incorporate them into tonight’s song parody. Please take note however, that even this conservative brain trust elected not to associate itself with Sarah Palin. Oh, how the mighty have fallen. Please enjoy.
Remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.
Calendar Girl song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qUlOyj9F5gM
CALENDAR GALS
(sung to the Neil Sedaka song “Calendar Girl”)
Beck loves, Beck loves, Beck loves his calendar gals
Right wing calendar gals
Beck loves, Beck loves, Beck loves his calendar gals
Preaching those politics of fear
(January) Who is Kate Obenshain?
(February) Some Claire Boothe Luce dame
(March) Ann Coulter has a mannish smile
(April) Michelle Malkin’s breath smells just like bile
Yeah, yeah, I just wanna hurl
Every time I take a look at those calendar girls
Every day (oh, dismay)
Every day (oh, dismay)
Of the year
(every day of the year)
(May) Marji Ross has a gigantic bum
(June) Kelly-Anne Conway is so very dumb
(July) Michele Bachmann looks like a ‘ho
(August) Carrie Prejean must really need the dough
Yeah, yeah, I just wanna hurl
Every time I take a look at those calendar girls
Every day (oh, dismay)
Every day (oh, dismay)
Of the year
(every day of the year)
(musical interlude)
Yeah, yeah, I just wanna hurl
Every time I take a look at those calendar girls
Every day (oh, dismay)
Every day (oh, dismay)
Of the year
(every day of the year)
(September) Bay Buchanan’s age is sixty-three
(October) Phyllis Schlafly’s older than a redwood tree
(November) The Cupp chick goes by the name S.E.
(December) That Star Parker keeps strange company
Yeah, yeah, I just wanna hurl
Every time I take a look at those calendar girls
Every day (oh, dismay)
Every day (oh, dismay)
Of the year
(every day of the year)
Beck loves, Beck loves, Beck loves his calendar gals
Right wing calendar gals
Beck loves, Beck loves, Beck loves his calendar gals
Preaching those politics of fear
Sarah Palin Is A “Quit-Wit”
Anyone know Sarah Palin’s favorite sporting event? Why, the Iquitarod, of course.
The “Queen of Quit” has done it again. First, Sarah Palin quit four different safety-school colleges before finally obtaining a less than stellar Bachelor’s Degree from the University of Idaho. Thereafter, she quit her position as Chairperson of the Alaska Oil & Gas Conservation Commission. That of course, was followed by her quitting as Governor of Alaska last July after barely serving half of her first elected term. Now she has quit as a donor and speaker for the Republican National Committee (RNC).
After it was revealed last week that the RNC paid for some ribald revelry at a lesbian/bondage/strip-club, Palin reasoned that it would not be good for her fabricated brand as a “family values – hockey mom” to be associated any longer with that group of neanderthals. Consequently, she demanded that her name be removed from a list of invited speakers at an RNC event in New Orleans. She also publicly announced that she would no longer donate or help to raise funds for the group.
Palin’s disassociation with the RNC for those stated reasons is a bit puzzling, however. She continues to campaign on behalf of her former ticket-mate John McCain even though it has been widely published that he once refereed to his wife as the “C” word in public. She also campaigned for and continues to support Massachusetts Senator Scott Brown despite the fact that he posed nude for a centerfold spread after she criticized her once-and-future son-in-law, Levi Johnston for participating in “porn” when he did the same. Wasn’t she also in favor of young daughter Bristol’s association with the Candies company despite its lurid and sexually charged advertising campaigns? Finally, she continues to court and support the Tea-Baggers and their violent and racist behavior towards Democrats. Sarah palin sure has some mixed up values.
In honor of the troops, please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.
You’re So Vain song link: http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x3dzr8_youre-so-vain-carly-simon_music
YOU’RE SO LAME
(sung to the Carly Simon song, “You’re So Vain”)
You’re in the G.O.P. party
You think of yourself as a big shot
Your rimless glasses in front of your two eyes
Your shoes are a polka dot
You’re a fashion disaster, like
A whore in the parking lot
And John McCain dreamed that he’d be your partner
He’d be your partner, but
You’re so lame
You probably thought you’d win the election
You’re to blame
For causing massive voter rejection
Yes you. Yes you.
You hurried back to Alaska
Where you were still known as the Guv
You showed your disdain for the Legislature
You thought you could push and shove
But they taught you a thing or two
When they shot down Wayne Ross
Now there’s your problem with mass ethics complaints
Mass ethics complaints, and
You’re so lame
You’ll never win another election
You’re to blame
For Bristol’s failure to use protection
Now there’s your problem with mass ethics complaints
Mass ethics complaints, and
You’re so lame
You’ll never win another election
You’re to blame
For Bristol’s failure to use protection
Yes you. Yes you.
Well, I hear you flew down to NYC
And took little Bristol along
You need to mend some fences with the G.O.P.
While Bristol sings her abstinence song
With the Fox News folks you’ll wine and dine
And take a photo or two
Then you’ll return to Alaska as a disaster
As a disaster, and
You’re so lame
You’ll never win another election
You’re to blame
For Bristol’s failure to use protection
Yes you. Yes you.
Michael Steele Takes His Seat At The Back Of The G.O.P. Bus
It now appears that the Republican Party/Michael Steele mixed marriage is officially on the rocks. Just wondering, but was it the Massachusetts Gay Marriage Law that threatened the sanctity of their nuptials? Not this time, according to the parties in question.
High ranking G.O.P. members and donors are upset at Steele because he has once again tarnished the image of the “family values” political party. After it was revealed last week that the Republican National Committee funded some ribald revelry which took place at a lesbian/bondage/strip-club known as Voyeur West Hollywood, the G.O.P. needed a scapegoat to take the blame for their bad behavior. Who better than RNC Chairman Michael Steele?
After all, wasn’t Steele also the guy that responded to a citizen speaking at a town hall meeting about how her mother died as the result of not being able to afford chemotherapy, by telling her that her histrionics were sure to land her a spot on local television that night and that she should enjoy her moment in the spotlight? Wasn’t Steele also the guy that lied by saying that during a debate, he was pelted with Oreo cookies as a symbol that he was “Black on the outside but White on the inside”? All good reasons for disliking Steele mind you, but isn’t the true reason why Republicans dislike him, the fact that they put a Black person in charge of the party to lure more African Americans and not only did that mission fail, but during Steele’s reign the G.O.P. was resoundingly voted out of the White House and out of majority status in both houses of Congress? This lesbian/bondage thing is just the icing on the cake.
Michael Steele however, has also fallen out of love with the Republican Party. He now deems the Party of Lincoln to be racist. Yesterday on ABC’s Good Morning America, he said that he was being singled out by his party because he is black. When asked by the host if he has a slimmer margin of error because he is African American, Steele responded:
The honest answer is, ‘yes’, Barack Obama has a slimmer margin. A lot of folks do. It’s a different role for me to play and others to play and that’s just the reality of it. But you take that as part of the nature of it. My view on politics is much more grassroots oriented, it’s not old boy network oriented, so I tend to, you know, come at it a little bit stronger, a little bit more street-wise, if you will. That’s rubbed some feathers the wrong way.
It looks like the G.O.P./Steele marriage may soon be divorced as the result of some irreconcilable differences.
As for the Democratic Party response to the Republican public airing of the family laundry, White House Spokesman Robert Gibbs said,
I think Michael Steele’s problem isn’t the race card, it’s the credit card.
Let’s face it, any day that you can mention the Republican Party and lesbian/bondage/strip-clubs in the same sentence, is a good day for the Democrats. Ahh, Michael we hardly knew ye!
Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.
It’s My Party song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XsYJyVEUaC4
IT’S OUR REPUBLICAN PARTY
(sung to the Lesley Gore song “It’s My Party”)
It’s our party, and we’ll cry if we want to
Lie if we want to, die if we want to
You would cry too if you had who we do
Nobody knows where Mitt Romney has gone
Delay had to resign
McCain was one we can’t stand
The rest just wallow in slime
It’s our party, and we’ll cry if we want to
Lie if we want to, die if we want to
You would cry too if you had who we do
Naughty Mark Sanford’s romancin’ tonight
Michele Bachmann’s spewin’ bile
We don’t like Mike Huckabee
He talks just like Gomer Pyle
It’s our party, and we’ll cry if we want to
Lie if we want to, die if we want to
You would cry too if you had who we do
(musical interlude)
Aw, Sarah Palin behaves just like a whore
She’s a mean ding-a-ling
Jindal should open his eyes
He’ll never be our king
It’s our party, and we’ll cry if we want to
Lie if we want to, die if we want to
You would cry too if you had who we do
Oh, It’s our party, and we’ll cry if we want to
Lie if we want to, die if we want to
You would cry too if you had who we do
Oh, It’s our party, and we’ll cry if we want to
Lie if we want to, die if we want to
Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 24
Just a few noteworthy news stories and comments thereon that have been orbiting the galaxies this past week.
BREAKING NEWS: There was an interesting moment on MSNBC’s Hardball With Chris Matthews this week. The guest was Republican strategist Todd Harris. He was asked by Matthews to name just one thing that the Republican party has done for the country in the last 15 to 20 years. He could not come up with one thing.
MATTHEWS: I just wanted to get the Republican bragging points straight here. So the Republican Party has kept us safe, except for 9/11. Is that the argument? No, really, because you had the worst attack on the American homeland in history, but you`re bragging about your ability to defend the country because you say — you defended America, except for 9/11. That`s your defense, right?
HARRIS: Look, Chris…
MATTHEWS: That`s the bragging point of the Republican Party for the last — I asked you to name one thing they`ve done for this country in 15 to 20 years. I`ll keep going back further. And you`re having a hard time giving me an answer. What has the Republican Party…
HARRIS: No, no. I`m…
MATTHEWS: … done for the country?
HARRIS: I`m not…
MATTHEWS: I`m just — it`s a good question.
HARRIS: Chris, I`m not having…
MCMAHON: Squandered the surplus.
HARRIS: … a hard time giving you an answer.
MCMAHON: Don`t forget, squandered the surplus.
HARRIS: When I decide to write a book about the history of the last 20 years of the Republican Party, I`ll be happy to talk to you about that.
MATTHEWS: No, just give me one…
HARRIS: My job is to win elections — my job is to…
MATTHEWS: Just give me one.
HARRIS: … win elections in 2010.
MATTHEWS: OK.
HARRIS: And I`m going to keep my eye on the ball.
MCMAHON: He doesn`t have one. He doesn`t have one!
Yikes. Harris provided a whole lotta nuthin’.
THIS JUST IN: John Michael Farren, who served as deputy legal counsel to President George W. Bush, has been charged with strangulation and attempted murder after allegedly choking his wife and beating her with a flashlight. It is believed that Farren felt pressure to one-up Dick Cheney’s crime of shooting his friend in the face.
BREAKING NEWS: If the mainstream media is truly liberal, it has done a good job of hiding that fact this week. Most every televised news program at some point this week drew attention to Democratic Party Senators Chris Dodd and Byron Dorgan’s announced retirements and concluded that the party is in real trouble because of the number of vacated seats. The problem is that the media has failed to report the true facts. Those facts are that the Republicans have six Senate incumbents that are not seeking re-election (compared to the two aforementioned Democrats) and fourteen House members doing the same (compared to ten Democrats). Final score: Republicans vacating twenty congressional seats and Democrats vacating twelve. Looks like the Republicans have some real trouble of their own.
THIS JUST IN: Would someone please tell Liz Cheney that nobody cares what she has to say. This week the daughter of the former face-shooter in chief, Dick Cheney decided that she should give her opinion on how the Obama administration should handle terrorism. She should be reminded that she has absolutely no qualifications to comment on that subject. She would be better served by accompanying the Bush twins on the party scene. Then again, she is probably not very fun to be around.
BREAKING NEWS: This week’s edition of “Republicans Eating Their Young” features Republican National Committee chairman Michael Steele and wealthy Republican contributors. It appears that the contributors’ lack of faith in Steele is manifesting itself in a dearth of contributions to the RNC. Steele has responded to his Republican critics as follows in an ABC interview:
I’m telling them and I’m looking them in the eye and say I’ve had enough of it. If you don’t want me in the job, fire me. But until then, shut up. Get with the program or get out of the way.
Sounds like the Republican Party is in need of an intervention.
THIS JUST IN: Does anyone else find it a little ironic that although Hanes has terminated actor Charlie Sheen from his endorsement contract as the result of his pending spousal abuse charges, the underwear manufacturer continues to sell “wife-beater” undershirts?
BREAKING NEWS: This week’s edition of “Don’t Sugar Coat It, Go Ahead And Tell Us How You Really Feel” features Andrew Sullivan of The Atlantic.com who says of Sarah Palin,
But it became almost immediately clear that she knew nothing about anything, had a private life that you usually see hashed out on Judge Judy, covered up her total lack of governing competence with so many lies they were hard to keep track of, and had next-to-no knowledge of any domestic or foreign policy issues, including energy. Isn’t that enough to regard her nomination as a total farce, the biggest insult ever delivered to voters since … well, Dan Quayle, who was far more informed, smart and serious than Palin ever was.
The idea that this person was qualified to run a country in one of its most serious crises, economically and militarily, beggars belief. The recklessness it revealed in McCain showed that he too was simply unqualified for high office, gambling with the core security of the US for cheap tactical advantage.
THIS JUST IN: Vice President Joe O’Biden says to the unemployed Sarah Palin, “Stay away from me lucky charms!” More on the sorry former ex-quitting governor of Alaska tonight on 60 Minutes which will feature a scathing synopsis of the 2008 Palin campaign by McCain campaign official Steve Schmidt.
BREAKING NEWS: This week’s edition of “We Can’t Seem To Get Our Heads Out Of Our Asses” features those dimwitted curmudgeons known as Tea-Baggers. In December 2009, the group known as “Tea Party Support” announced the it would be sponsoring the National Conservative Symposium from January 22 – 24 in San Antonio, Texas. The speaker lineup included Sarah Palin, Sean Hannity, Michelle Malkin and Laura Ingraham. The event was reported to be a symposium for “true” conservatives and would compete directly with the more celebrated annual CPAC conference which Palin has elected to shun. The price for attendance at the Tea Party event was announced to be $ 749.00.
Unfortunately, the group ran into a little trouble on the way to Texas. The event has now been canceled with no reason for cancellation announced by the group. This is noteworthy because it is the first event that has quit on Sarah Palin before she could quit on it. The cancellation also marks the most recent disaster of the Tea-Bagging campaign. Their “Die-In” event in Washington last December was remarkable only for its lack of attendance and they cannot seem to define what the heck their planned January 20th “strike” or “boycott” is supposed to be. Somebody better read their tea leaves and soon.
OOPS, ALMOST FORGOT: Here We Go Packers, Here We Go !!!
THIS JUST IN: This week’s edition of “Honesty Impaired Fox News Hosts” features Sean “The Cowardly Waterboarding Evader” Hannity. His most recent lie is that the CIA is diverting counter terrorism resources in an attempt to prove the existence of global warming. Hannity said,
The CIA director redirects manpower to monitor climate change, but is it all the cost — at the cost of our security, your security, your family’s security? In the wake of the attempted Christmas Day terror attack, you would think the spies at the CIA, that they would have their hands full securing America. But, believe it or not, assets at Langley are being used for other projects.
Hannity then quoted a National Center For Public Policy Research (NCPPR) press release which said,
As terrorists continue to infiltrate America, the Obama Administration is tasking some of our nation’s most elite intelligence-gathering agencies to divert their resources to environmental scientists researching global warming.
Of course Hannity failed to disclose that the NCPPR is sponsored and funded by the global warming denying Exxon Oil Company. Additionally, he failed to provide the CIA’s response to the ridiculous claim which is,
The monitoring program has little or no impact on regular intelligence gathering, federal officials said, but instead releases secret information already collected or takes advantage of opportunities to record environmental data when classified sensors are otherwise idle or passing over wilderness.
That is OK Mr. Hannity. Do not let the facts get in the way of a good lie. You just go on living in your Faux News fantasy world.
Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.
Dear Mr. Fantasy song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vxVlN-LzIks
DEAR, MR. HANNITY
(sung to the Traffic song “Dear, Mr. Fantasy”)
Dear, Mr. Hannity you are a goon
Some even say you are daffy
Your nightly show is just like a cartoon
Hit that bong, chug that jar
Getting happy
You are the one that just makes us all laugh
Unlike Glenn Beck, you don’t go to tears
You should be sad that you do not have your gonads
You could face waterboarding fears
Oooo Ahhhhh
Oooo Ahhhhh
Oooo Ahhhhh
Oooo Ahhhhh Ahhhhh
Dear Mr. Hannity you’re no Brit Hume
Although, he too is unhappy
Insanity prevails throughout Fox News
Always wrong, that you are
Oh so crappy
Yeah, yeah
(musical interlude)
Dear Mr. Hannity go back to your room
That would just make us all happy
Do anything, take us out of our gloom
Sing a song, play guitar
Make it snappy
We all just watch you to have a good laugh
We haven’t laughed so hard in ten years
You are one sad excuse for a real college grad
Just like all of your poor Fox News peers
Sarah Palin Is Bus-ted !!!
The “Sarah Palin Blue-Collar Book-Bombing Bus Tour” has been busted. The former ex-quitting governor of Alaska likes to promote the public image that she is a “Joan Sixpack”. She would have the American public believe that she buys her clothes at consignment shops, purchases used cars and clips coupons. All of this is done in a purposely choreographed manner in an attempt to create an “us” versus “them” political atmosphere wherein Palin is one of “us” (or is it “them”? Now I’m confused.). Anyway, as we all know, you can’t judge a book by its cover. You must examine the prose beneath in order to determine whether you are reading fiction or non-fiction. In the case of Sarah Palin, the truth is that her public persona is pure unadulterated fiction.
Palin has little to nothing in common with her targeted band of supporters other than a lack of education. She lives in a Kennedy-like Hyannisport waterfront compound of separate custom built structures, one of which doubles as an aircraft hangar. She raised her children with the help of a hired nanny. She and her husband, the once and future “First Dude” are unemployed as a matter of choice, not circumstance. She also spends more time traveling the country than she does at her home. This is not the life of the average American that she claims to identify with so well.
And now we learn that Sarah Palin’s cross-country bus tour is also a carefully manufactured facade. Palin announced that she would travel the country by means of motorcoach as a symbolic way to meet and greet her working class supporters in the manner by which many of them travel (i.e. public transportation). Problem is, she seldom rides the bus. In fact, Palin travels from city to city in the lap of luxury by means of a donated private corporate jet. After landing at each destination on her tour, she discreetly boards the bus that is waiting for her at either the airport or her hotel and travels in workmanlike fashion to each booksigning where her supporters are led to believe that the bus was her only means of travel. How cunningly deceptive. Nonetheless, could we expect anything other than trickery from the would be Liar in Chief? Probably not.
In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.
Bennie And The Jets song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j0WCQadt864
SARAH AND HER JET
(sung to the Elton John song “Bennie and the Jets”)
Hey kids, let’s sing this together
Sarah Palin’s brain-dead fans
Are as tasteful as shoe leather
They’re a filthy bunch of pigs that
Should be hosed-down
You’re never gonna wanna be ‘round a
Bigger bunch of clowns
And Sarah flies to them on a private jet – (ooh)
But they’re so spaced out, (sa sa sa sa sa) Sarah and her jet
Oh, if those fans only had a clue
She signs books to take their green
She thinks it’s a hoot to rake in their loot
And she still cannot name a magazine (no)
(sa, sa, sa) Sarah and her jet
Her fans left waiting in bad weather
Treated just like pawns
Yet still sticking together
She’s in the sky, stringing all of them along
She leaves them cold and wet out in the streets
That’s where she thinks they belong
She gave up the tour-bus for a private jet – (ooh)
That bus had no clout, (sa sa sa sa sa) Sarah and her jet
Oh, the big Leer-Jet’s so wonderful
Fitting for Alaska’s queen
She’s got her mukluk boots, Arctic Cat suit
I saw it pictured in a magazine (ohh ho)
(sa sa sa)Sarah and her jet
(Musical Interlude)
She’s living the high life, on that you can bet – (ooh)
But she’s so spaced out, (sa sa sa sa sa) Sarah and her jet
Oh, but palin is so full of bull
Slippery as Vaseline
She thinks that it’s a hoot to aim and shoot
And take her daily dose of Thorazine (ohh ho)
(sa sa sa)Sarah and her jet
Sarah, Sarah and her jet
Sarah, Sarah, Sarah, Sarah and her jet
Sarah, Sarah, Sarah, Sarah, Sarah, Sarah and her jet
Sarah, Sarah, Sarah, Sarah and her jet
Sarah, Sarah, Sarah, Sarah, Sarah, Sarah, Sarah and her jet (jet) (jet) (jet)
Sarah, Sarah, Sarah, Sarah, Sarah, Sarah, Sarah, Sarah and her jet.