Blog Archives

Mitt(wit) Romney Has A New Scandal

The USA Today is reporting that Mitt Romney is being very secretive as to the identities  “of the fundraisers helping him collect the millions of dollars he needs to win the White House, even as he promises them special access perks.”

This is an important development because it undermines any claim to campaign transparency by Romney. It also leads to the perception that secret deals will cut for those Wall Street bankers and private equity company executives who are most likely to be Romney’s largest contributors.

The USA Today further reports that,

“Romney is not required by law to disclose the identities of his fundraisers with the exception of those who work as federal lobbyists. Releasing the names of bundlers, however, has been standard in presidential campaigns for more than a decade.

Republican George W. Bush established the pattern in the 2000 election, revealing the names of fundraisers who collected at least $100,000. He repeated the practice in 2004. Arizona Sen. John McCain, the Republican nominee four years ago, had disclosed his fundraisers by this point in the 2008 campaign, releasing a list of 106 bundlers on April 18 of that year.

President Obama has released his fundraiser list every three months during this campaign.”

Campaign-finance watchdogs have pressed for Romney to disclose his bundlers. “Should he be elected, these people will be first in line seeking benefits from the new administration and the public won’t even know who these people are and whether they are being rewarded for their role in getting Romney elected,” said Taylor Lincoln, a research director at Public Citizen.

Here’s hoping the main stream media keeps this issue in the spotlight and continues to press Romney to release names. Here’s also hoping that Romney fails to comply and thereby keeps this scandal alive through election day.

Lynnrockets wishes all of you faithful Rocketeers an enjoyable memorial Day Weekend!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

The Beverly Hillbillies Theme song link:


(sung to the theme of “The Beverly Hillbillies”)

Come and listen to a story ‘bout a man named Mitt
A rich profiteer who’s been known to pitch a fit.
Unlike Scott Brown he won’t model in the nude,
He likes to run for office but he doesn’t have a clue.

Knowledge that is,   Hates Polls,    Sanity.

Well the one thing we know is Mitt’s a millionaire,
Pinstriped suits and plastic molded hair.
Inside the beltway is the place he wants to be,
So he strapped his dog on top and drove down to D.C.

Washington that is,   Lobbyists,    Big black cars.

(flip-flop break)

Well now its time to say good-bye to Mitt and all his friends,
He will lose this year’s election and that will be his end
He never will return again cuz of the Tea Party,
They much prefer Santorum and his beastiality.

Man on dog, that is,   Ring a bell?,    Take your pants off.

Don’t come back now, y’hear?

Sarah Palin Memorial Month Continues…

Now that Sarah Palin has quit once again and her rapid fade from relevance has commenced, we thought it might be fun to memorialize her by re-posting some of our favorite Palin-centric columns and song parodies from the past. Let’s raise our collective glasses and toast the former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska! Ah, Sarah, we hardly knew ye!

This column was originally posted way back on August 27, 2009. It comments upon Sarah Palin’s annoying habit of scheduling speaking engagements and then backing out of them.

Unlike George W. Bush, Sarah Palin Is Not “The Decider”

Sarah Palin decides on "blue" as the color of her cell at the Wasilla Nervous HospitalPalin decides “blue” as her cell color at the Wasilla Nervous Hospital

Remember when George W. Bush said, “I’m the decider” at a presser shortly before he forced Donald Rumsfeld out as Secretary of Defense? In doing so, he coined a new phrase. Sarah Palin, the quitting ex-governor of Alaska might consider doing the same. Perhaps she could say, “I’m the non-decider.”

Seems that “Bewildered Barbie” has once again backed out of a speaking arrangement that she previously agreed to. The Alaskans For Parental Rights organization scheduled a public event for August 27, 2009 at the ChangePoint Church in Anchorage, Alaska. The printed announcement indicates that Palin will not only be present, but she will be the first person to sign the group’s petition regarding parental notification of teen abortions (see the announce ment, here). The announcement was widely distributed both electronically and in print form for weeks.

Sarah Palin’s spokesperson, Meg Stapleton said on August 26th however, that Palin will not appear at the event because she had never heard anything about it? Hmmm, does something smell a little fishy in Denmark? It should because Palin pulls these type of “I will be there” wait “No, I will not be there” stunts all of the time.

First there was the Republican Winter Meeting in D.C. when she backed out allegedly because she had official business to attend to in Alaska, but in actuality she instead attended the Alfalfa Club dinner in D.C. Next, there was the infamous CPAC Conference in which she cancelled her appearance at the last second because she claimed that she had never agreed to attend. This was followed by her “on again” “off again” keynote speaker engagement at the Republican Senate/House Fundraiser in which on two separate occasions, she agreed and then declined to be said speaker before finally being replaced by Newt Gingrich. Finally, there was her non-appearance at the Simi Valley (California) Republican Women’s Fundraiser in which she once again stated that she never agreed to attend.

Either Sarah Palin does not know how to read a calendar, or there is some truth to The Globe Magazine‘s allegation that she has suffered a nervous breakdown as the result of marital problems. Is she indecisive or is she locked away in the proverbial “nervous hospital”? Enquiring minds want to know.

Today’s song parody is a take-off on The Clash‘s 1984 hit, Should I Stay Or Should I Go? It just seems so fitting.

In honor of the troops, please click on the song link below to not only familiarize yourselves with the tune, but to also have more fun singing along.

Should I Stay Or Should I Go song link:


(sung to The Clash song, Should I Stay Or Should I Go)

(Whoo! – – – Allah!)

Sarah you gotta let us know
Will you stay or will you go?
Can you make it there on time?
Your speech begins at ten to nine
You just have to let us know,
Will you make it to the show?

It’s always me, me, me
Yes, we agree to pay your fee
If you have a nerve attack,
Will you agree to pay us back?
You’ll be there with “Plumber Joe”
Is it “yes” or is it “no” ?

Will she stay or will she go now?
Will she stay or will she go now?
If she comes, we’ll pay her double
But she might stay inside her bubble
So come on and let us know

Her poor decisions boggle me
Palin’s become a mockery
Why won’t the asylum set her free?
Is she confined under lock and key?
Come on and let us know,
Is she brain-dead or is it show?


Will she stay or will she go now?
Will she stay or will she go now?
If she goes, she’ll stir up trouble,
Or then her nerve pills might be doubled
We just hope that if she goes…
She pleases all the “Sixpack Joes”

Will she stay or will she go now?
If she goes, she’ll stir up trouble,
And if she stays, laughs will be doubled
We just hope that if she goes
She wears some garish slutty clothes!!!

Message To Rick Perry: “Read My Lips. NO NEW TEXANS” !!!

The next time some crazy Tea Party memberr tries to convince you that Bible-thumping Republican Rick Perry would make a great President because of his job creation record in Texas, return the volley with some hard hitting facts.

Inform the Perry fans that although Texas has led the nation in job creation for the last few years, Texas also leads the nation in producing jobs that pay only at or below the minimum wage. Additionally, employment in Texas has been evenly growing for some 20 years which is long before Perry became governor. You should also point out the fact that despite that job growth, the state’s unemployment rate of 8.2 percent is higher than both the rate in Democratic New York and Massachusetts. Indeed Massachusetts’ lower unemployment rate of 7.6 percent was achieved despite the fact that the Bay State has near universal health insurance coverage as the result of its 2006 health reform law which includes personal mandates. In contrast, Texas ranks 50th in the nation when it comes to the percentage of its residents that have health insurance. Perry claims that the national health care reform law which was enacted in 2010 by President Obama is a jobs killer, but the Massachusetts example proves otherwise.

Furthermore, NPR informs us that Texas’ job growth was also helped by the fact that there is “no corporate income tax, no state income tax, and environmental and other state regulations on Texas businesses are kept to a minimum.” Consequently, many corporations have elected to abandon other states and move to Texas. That may suit the purposes of a Texas governor, but it would not help a President who represents all 50 states. It is not job creation for the nation when jobs are reduced in one state and added in another.

An additional problem for Rick Perry’s Texas is that the tax cutting has led to a situation where Texas ranks 44th in expenditures per public school pupil. That has translated directly into Texas’ rank as the 43rd worse state in terms of percentage of high school graduates. This lack of academic achievement has simply provided a steady supply of applicants for all of Texas’ jobs which pay at the minimum wage or below. That probably does not bother Rick Perry all that much however, inasmuch as he was not much of a student himself. He was placed on academic probation while attending Texas A&M.

Rick Perry’s lack of critical thought was quite evident just this week when he accused Federal Reserve Chairman Bernanke of treason if he chose to increase the nation’s money supply. It is hard to imagine that the head of the Fed could commit treason simply by means of performing the duties of his job which are to adjust the money supply. It is a particularly laughable statement when one considers that it was Rick Perry himself who threatened to commit a treasonous act when he suggested in 2009, that Texas may have to secede from the the United States.

These facts should provide all you fellow Rocketeers with ample ammunition when battling Rick Perry supporters. if you really want to get under their skin, tell them: “Read my lips. NO NEW TEXANS!”

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

The Beverly Hillbillies Theme song link:


(sung to the theme of “The Beverly Hillbillies”)

Come and listen to a story ‘bout a Gov. named Rick
Just like George Bush, a dumb and backwards hick
The Texans know they earn money for their food
Not cuz Rick’s around, it’s that bubbling crude
(Oil that is. Black Gold. Texas Tea)

As for sick folks Rick just hasn’t got a care
No insurance, all they have is prayer
Washington DC is the place he wants to be
So he threw his name in  for the Presidency
(Crazy that is, Bachmann, Newt Gingrich)

(academic probation break)

Well now its time to say good-bye to Rick and all his kin,
He is in New Hampshire raisin’ dough and campaignin’
He doesn’t know squat ‘bout economic policy
But that does not matter to those fools that drink his tea.
(Perry’s a hillbilly, that’s what we’ll call him now, cow polk)
Y’all come back now, y’hear?

A Presidential New Year’s Day

Lynnrockets would like to help all of you Rocketeers nurse your hangovers with a few laughs. Happy New Year’s Day! See you on Monday when things get back to normal. Until then…

Whatever Happened To Baby-Cheney?

Liz "Mini-Me" Cheney and Dick "Dr. Evil" Cheney

Just when you thought that you had heard the last from former Vice President and Torturer-in-Chief Dick Cheney’s daughter, up pops her venomous head. On Wednesday, Liz Cheney donned her horn-ensconced battle helmet and made one of the most idiotic hawk-like pronouncements in recent history. It was an honest to goodness head-scratcher.

Liz Cheney’s statement followed a report in The Washington Post which quoted a portion of journalist Bob Woodward’s new book detailing the Obama administration’s deliberations over U.S. strategy in Afghanistan and more specifically with the threat of future terrorist attacks on American soil. Obama told Woodward,

“We can absorb a terrorist attack. We’ll do everything we can to prevent it, but even a 9/11, even the biggest attack ever . . . we absorbed it and we are stronger,”

Let’s disect and analyze what Obama said. He explained that the United States is strong enough to survive any type of terrorist attack including one on the scale of the 9/11 attacks. Indeed, he warned any future terrorists that not only will his administration “do everything we can to prevent it”, but he also explained that even the 9/11 attacks did not topple the government and we are now an even stronger and more committed nation in the battle against terrorism. That sounds like a pretty strong warning addressed to any future would-be terrorists, doesn’t it?

Well, it sounds like that to any sane person, but as we know, Liz Cheney has proven to be reality challenged. Remember, this is the woman that still contends that “waterboarding” is both safe and legal. So, what was Liz Cheney’s take on President Obama’s quote? She said that the…

“comment suggests an alarming fatalism on the part of President Obama and his administration. Once again the President seems either unwilling or unable to do what it takes to keep this nation safe. The President owes the American people an explanation.”

The President expressed “an alarming fatalism”? He is “either unwilling or unable to do what it takes to keep this nation safe”? Liz Cheney is a certifiable crazy woman! If memory serves us correctly, wasn’t it her father’s administration that was actually either “unwilling or unable” to keep the nation safe during the nine month’s leading up to and including September 11, 2001? Apparently in Cheney-World you are expressing fatalism and not safeguarding your nation as President if you threaten any potential would-be terrorists with the warning that the United States withstood the worst attack they could conjure up and is even stronger and more committed to fight back since that moment. But you are blameless and strong if your administration was actually in power and was “either unwilling or unable to do what it takes to keep this nation safe” when the country was actually attacked by terrorists. That reasoning is so warped that it is almost Palinesque.

Where was the young Cheney’s outrage when shortly after the actual 9/11 attacks, then-President Bush actually goaded any future terrorists to “Bring it On!”? He may as well have added, “I double dare ya!” Honestly, where was Liz Cheney and her criticism then? Bush did not express a sense of fatalism that there might be another attack. Instead, he actually enticed another terrorist attack. But Little-Liz Cheney was silent.

If I were a supporter or donated to Cheney’s “Keep America Safe” foundation, at this point I would begin questioning my own sanity.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s very topical song parody.

Welcome To My Nightmare song link:


(sung to the Alice Cooper song “Welcome To My Nightmare”)

Welcome to my nightmare
You ain’t seen nothin’ like it
I think you’re gonna feel
Something’s wrong

A cerebral vacation
Republicans need sedation
Their mouths will be filled with foam
Before too long

Welcome to my nightmare, ohh

Welcome to my breakdown
Does Lizzie Cheney scare you?
That’s just the way they are
In Red State towns

They sweat and laugh and scream there
Mann Coulter’s their wet dream there
He really makes them feel
Right at home, there

Welcome to my breakdown, ohh
You’re welcome to my nightmare, yeah

(musical interlude)

Welcome to my nightmare
You know I just don’t like it
G.O.P. makes me feel
I don’t belong

They lie and shout and scream there
And Palin is their queen there
They all giggle and squeal
At her throne, there

Welcome to my nightmare, ohh
Welcome to my breakdown

(great instrumental fade out)

Monday Night Music Byte (McCartney Blasts Bush)

McCartney at historic Fenway Park, Boston 2009.

Tonight’s Music Byte will dispense with the usual historical narrative of the featured artist. Sir Paul McCartney needs no introduction. Over here at the Blast-Off however, we like him even more this week.

CNN reports, President Obama on Wednesday awarded McCartney the Gershwin Prize for Popular Song – a lifetime achievement award given by the Library of Congress. Upon receiving the award, McCartney deadpanned, “After the last eight years, it’s great to have a president who knows what a library is.” Don’t you just love it? Even an English (albeit of Irish descent) musician recognized George W. Bush’s lack of eloquence and was not afraid to comment about it on American soil.

One person unfortunately was not amused. House Minority Leader John Boehner (pronounced, “Boner”) is demanding an apology from the music legend. Boehner said,

I hope he’ll apologize to the American people for his conduct which demeaned him, the White House and President Obama.

Actually Mr. Boehner, the remark did not demean McCartney, the White House and President Obama. It only demeaned George W. Bush. So, take that!

Please enjoy tonight’s video clip. By the way, the drummer is from Arlington, MA.

Palin v. G.O.P.:There Will Be No Winner

The “Queen of Quit” has done it again. It is now official, Sarah Palin has quit the Republican Party and joined the Tea-Baggers. For the second time in a month Palin has ignored the Republican Party and endorsed a competing Tea Party candidate. First she endorsed racist Tea-Bagger Rand Paul over the Mitch McConnell endorsed Republican Trey Grayson in the Kentucky Senate primary. Now she has endorsed Tea Party activist Clint Didier over the National Republican Senatorial Committee endorsed Dino Rossi in the Washington Senatorial race.

Palin’s endorsement of Didier came via Twitter, her favorite sophomoric form of communication. On Thursday, Palin “tweeted” that she is “inspired” by Didier and said he is a “patriot running for U.S. Senate to serve his state & our country for all the right reasons!”

This is good news for Democrats. Republicans and Tea-Baggers share many of the same right-wing conservative philosophies. Consequently the newly emergent Tea Party draws virtually all of its members from the Republican Party. The G.O.P. gets smaller and then must publicly battle with Tea-Baggers before even earning the chance to run against the Democratic Party candidate in a general election. The Tea-Bagger or Republican that wins the primary then comes to the general election already dripping with mud. Advantage – Democrat.

This scenario is presently playing out in the Washington state Senatorial race. Didier (Tea Party) has already attacked Rossi (Republican), painting him as  firmly entrenched in the Republican establishment. “If people want more of the same, the McCain or Bush type of governing, then they can support Dino,” Didier said in a statement earlier this month.

All of this my friends, is another glaring example of the “Palin Rule”. Whatever Palin touches, turns to crap!

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Wonderful World (Don’t Know Much) link:


(sung to the Sam Cooke song “Wonderful World”)

Don’t know much about geography
Don’t know much ecology
Don’t know much about that climate change
Don’t know why voters think I am strange

But I do know I love my shoes
And I really love my beehive ‘do
What a right wing world this should be

Don’t have much of an education
I know a lot about procreation
Opposition should have no voice
Pregnant women should have no choice

Yes, I do practice “politics of hate”
And I love to equivocate
What a right wing world this should be

Now I don’t claim that I can see Russia
From my living room bay
And I do not star on “Thirty Rock”, baby
That’s the talented Tina Fey

Don’t know much about interviews
Don’t know many Supreme Court views
Can’t name any books that I’ve read
Sure glad Bristol and Levi aren’t wed

But I do know my time is due
And I’ll be there in 2-0-1-2
What a right wing world this will be

And I do know you’ll love Sarah P.
We’ll be a nation of Scientology
What a right wing world this will be

Scott Brown Shuts The G.O.P. Down … Again

Remember back in January when Republicans and Tea-Baggers were giddy over the election of Scott Brown to Ted Kennedy’s Massachusetts Senate seat? Well something funny happened on the way to the 2012 Republican nomination for President. Scott Brown has demonstrated that he is not the dependable conservative rubber stamp that the G.O.P. and Tea Party thought they had elected. First, he never had the opportunity to cast his promised 41st vote against Health Care Reform legislation. In fact, his first Senate vote was in favor of a Democratic Party jobs bill that was bitterly opposed by Republicans. On Thursday, the clothing challenged Scott Brown broke from the Republicans once again and voted in favor of cloture on the Democratic Party’s Financial Reform bill which stymied the G.O.P.’s filibuster efforts and virtually assured the bill’s passage into law. Brown’s was the decisive 60th vote. A huge victory for the Democrats and another betrayal of the Republicans. As George W. Bush would say, “Brownie…you’re doing a heck of a job!”

Scott Brown is now certain to be summoned to Mitch McConnell’s office for some corporal punishment. But who will deliver the blows? Larry “Men’s Room” Craig? David “Diapers” Vitter? Michele “Birther” Bachmann? Don’t worry, we will know soon enough. Photos are sure to leak!

What will Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Glenn Beck, Ann “The Man” Coulter, Michelle Malkin, Sarah Palin, Michele Bachmann, Bill O’Reilly and all those moonbat crazy Tea-Baggers have to say about their once and future favorite nudist now? Is there anything more beautiful than watching conservatives eat their own? Stay tuned. The fireworks will begin long before Independence day this year.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Charlie Brown song link:


(sung to the Coasters song “Charlie Brown”)

Fe-fe, fi-fi, fo-fo, fum
He’s the senator that will bare his bum

Scottie Brown, Scottie Brown
He’s a clown, that nude Scott Brown
He likes to bare his bod
In those magazines
(That’s why everybody’s always pickin’ on me)

That’s him on his knees
I know that’s him
Yeah, from 7 come 11
Down in the Senate gym

Scottie Brown, Scottie Brown
He’s a clown, that nude Scott Brown
Craig thinks that he’s hot
He hopes to steal a peek
(Why’s Lynnrockets always pickin’ on me)

Who’s always nude at the roll call?
Who’s lurking in the men’s room stalls?
Who’s sporting his bat and balls?
Guess who? (who me?) yeah, you!

Who walks through the Senate dumb and slow?
Who calls Mitch McConnell, Daddy-O?

Scottie Brown, Scottie Brown
He’s going down, next time around
His votes can be bought
Just you wait and see
(Why’s everybody always pickin’ on me)

(musical interlude)

He is in the Party that says “No”
With his private parts swinging to and fro

Scottie Brown, Scottie Brown
He’s a clown, that nude Scott Brown
He’s showing a lot
His bum, his wee-wee
(Why’s Lynnrockets always pickin’ on me)

When Is Rudy “9/11” Giuliani Lying? When His Mouth Is Open!!!

“Mr. 9/11” has crawled out from under his rock and found his way back to prime-time television. The last time we saw or heard from Rudy Giuliani was when he gave a speech while dropping out of the 2008 Presidential race. He went into the Republican Party primaries as the heavy favorite to win the G.O.P. nomination, but something funny happened on the way to Minneapolis. He was deemed “stupid” by the nation’s Republican voters. Alas, Rudy Giuliani’s Presidential dreams were extinguished like a smoldering bag of dog poop on your front stoop.

But, as the saying goes, “you can throw away the poop but not the stink”. Actually, we are not sure if that is truly a saying, but if it isn’t, it should be. In any event, Rudy “9/11” Giuliani was a guest on Larry King Live on January 6, 2010. The topic of his conversation? What else, the Underwear Bomber and why the Obama administration wants to set him free. Giuliani repeated so many other right-wing pundits (comedians?) by declaring that Barack Obama waited far too long to react to the botched bombing and that as a result, we will “convince our enemies we are not ready.” He went on to say, “All this is ten days too late. This is something you react to immediately. Not after your vacation. The president of the United States, when there is a potential massive attack on the country, should have been on top of it immediately.”

Of course it goes without saying that Giuliani had his facts wrong. CNN reports that President Obama first addressed the issue from his vacation spot in Hawaii three days after the attempted attack, calling for a complete review of the incident and the country’s airline security policies. He then gave a public assessment of those reviews in a statement Tuesday, saying they had uncovered that “U.S. intelligence had uncovered numerous “red flags” prior to the attack.”

Next, Giuliani criticized the administrations decision to try the bomber as a criminal in the Federal District Court system. He said, “The minute you [don’t designate him an enemy combatant], you cut off the ability to question him. “I don’t know the inside story. He was talking until he went out and got him a lawyer. You want to talk to this guy for a month. You want to keep him for a month or two get to get you a the intelligence he is going give you.”

Hmmm, where shall we begin to point out Giuliani’s hypocracy and the use of a double standard? Should we remind him that the nation watched in shocked amazement when George W. Bush was informed on television that our nation was under attack on September 11, 2001 and he nonetheless continued to sit in a classroom full of elementary school students for a full 20 minutes rather than to leave so as to become fully apprised of the situation? Inasmuch as the brunt of those attacks took place in Giuliani’s own city, where was his outrage then? Perhaps someone should remind Giuliani that when Richard Reid, the Al Qaeda linked “Shoe Bomber”, attempted to blow up a plane shortly after the 9/11 attacks, President Bush did not directly address the foiled plot for six days. Where were Bush and Dick Cheney at the time? Why, on vacation of course. So let’s see, Obama issued his first public statement 3 days after the event and Bush responded 6 days after the event. Did Giuliani find fault with Bush at the time? Nope.

Giuliani should also be reminded that the Bush administration prosecuted  Richard Reid, criminally in the First District Federal Court in Boston, Massachusetts where he provided information, was convicted and he is now serving a life term in a maximum-security prison. It seems that the federal court system worked just fine in the case of the “Shoe Bomber”. Why wasn’t Giuliani railing with dissatisfaction then? The answer; because like Dick Cheney, Newt Gingrich and so many other Republican politicians, he is a short sighted hypocrite of the first order.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

That’s Amore song link:


(sung to the Dean Martin song “That’s Amoré”)

In New York Town on the air-waves
Rudy does have a lot to say

He just sits there and lies but to him we are wise
He appears in prime-time and repeats his tired lines
He was king ding-a-ling-a-ling, ding-a-ling-a-ling
And a wife cheating fella
He can’t see his stupidity, his stupidity
He’s blind like Helen Keller

As he speaks watch the drool, that Rudy is a fool
All his friends on Wall Street think that he can’t be beat
Lord above
He is a cliché machine all of the time he is
Scheming, signore
Scuzza me, but you see, he’s from the G.O.P.

(He just sits there and lies but to him we are wise
Giuliani) Giuliani!!!
(He appears in prime time and repeats his tired lines
Giuliani) Giuliani!!!
(He was king ding-a-ling-a-ling, ding-a-ling-a-ling
And a wife cheating fella) Go to Hell, cheating fella
He can’t see his stupidity, his stupidity
He’s blind like Helen Keller) Sorry fella

Rudy’s angry and cruel and stubborn like a mule
GiulianI!!! (Giuliani)
He is doomed to repeat Presidential defeat
Sure enough
He tells us of his dreams but his words have no
Meaning, signore
Scuzza me, Rudy G., but we hardly knew ye
Cuz you’re boring (so boring)
See, we’re snoring

Sarah Palin And The Other G.O.P. Unemployed Zeroes


As Sarah Palin, the ex-former quitting Governor of Alaska, prepares to embark on her nationwide rural hamlet book tour it reminded us here at Lynnrockets’ Blast-Off of all of those other former Republican office holders who now have nothing better to do than offer their warped opinions to whoever (or is it, “whomever”, I’m never quite sure) will listen.

Public enemy number one is Newt Gingrich, the former disgraced and dethroned Speaker of the House. This guy was unceremoniously thrown out of the leadership position by his own party which prompted his resignation in 1998. Nonetheless, if you scan through your television channels any night during primetime, you are likely to see this wife-cheating bag of gas bloviating to some talking head about his vision of the future for the G.O.P. Does he not realize that the words, “Newt Gingrich” and “future” are mutually exclusive?

Next we have former New York City mayor, Rudolph Giuliani. Like the aforementioned Gingrich, this wife-cheating disaster of a Presidential candidate can be found nightly opining on all things political with the Fox News host of his choice. Of course he has nothing of substance to say. Vice President Joe Biden put it best when he said, “There’s only three things he mentions in a sentence — a noun, a verb, and 9/11. There’s nothing else!” That truly sums up Rudy in a nutshell.

How about former Vice President, Dick Cheney? He of the “dithering” remark regarding President Obama’s contemplative and non-knee-jerk method of deciding what course of action to take in Afghanistan. We all know that Cheney’s trigger finger reaction would be to simply go in there with all guns blaring and no real plan. After all, didn’t he use that method when he shot his best friend in the face? We also learned last week that while being questioned by the FBI regarding the Valerie Plame identity leak, Cheney answered questions by saying, “I don’t recall” more than two dozen times. Consequently, should anyone be interested in getting advice from this forgetful old fool. He might consider checking into the Ronald Reagan Memorial Alzheimer’s ward.

Today’s song parody will pay tribute to these and some other unemployed Republicans who will not go away. Please enjoy.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with this great tune and to have more fun singing along to the parody.

Celluloid Heroes song link:


(sung to the Kinks song “Celluloid Heroes”)

Everyone is a schemer and they are all fading stars
And everyone is so goofy, they all should be feathered and tarred
They’re not far from your own city
A creeping louse is on every street
They have no jobs so they walk the boulevard
Their careers ended in defeat

Just look at Scooter Libby,  George Bush spared him the jail yard
He lied for old Dick Cheney,  now finding work will be real hard
Condoleezza Rice was a princess
While she occupied her throne
But she lied about those weapons
Now no-one will throw her a bone

They ride in their nice cars as they drive down Unemployed Boulevard
Some that you recognize some that you wish you never heard of
People who lied and cheated while striving for fame
First they succeeded but now they suffer in vain

Rudolph Giuliani had a trio of wives
And if not for 9/11, White House dreams could not survive
Former Governor, Caribou Barbie
Was a lip-sticked dog with no bite
The blunders that Palin gave us
Will follow her the rest of her life

Cheney was thrown out like garbage
He shot his friend and he smiled
And then there’s George “Macaca” Allen
You’ve just got to love his style
And please don’t forget dear Larry Craig
With his stylish steel handcuffs
While in a Men’s Room stall he copped a feel
And then Idahoans had had enough

They ride in their nice cars as they drive down that Unemployed Boulevard
Some that you recognize some that you wish you never heard of
People who lied and cheated while striving for fame
First they succeeded but now they suffer in vain

Everyone is a schemer and they are all fading stars
And they all think they’re in show biz, trying to show on radar
And though some were successful
Now they must be on guard
Success walks hand in hand with failure
Along Unemployed Boulevard

Their sordid lives are a non-stop Hollywood tabloid show
A fantasy world of unemployed villains and zeroes
And those unemployed zeroes created so much pain
Those unemployed zeroes took us for a ride

They ride in their nice cars as they drive down that Unemployed Boulevard
Some that you recognize some that you wish you never heard of
People who lied and cheated while striving for fame
First they succeeded but now they suffer in vain

Those unemployed zeroes created so much pain
Those unemployed zeroes took us for a ride

Their sordid lives are a non-stop Hollywood tabloid show
A fantasy world of unemployed villains and zeroes
And those unemployed zeroes created so much pain
Those unemployed zeroes took us for a ride