Monthly Archives: December 2010

Lynnrockets Says Good Riddance To 2010

I really hate to sound bitter, but I cannot wait for 2010 to be history. For Lynnrockets, this was a tough year. For those that read this blog regularly, you already know that I lost both my parents and one of my dogs this year. Add to that, the fact that like so many others I have had to endure the downturn in the economy. An additional headache was caused when a Republican won Ted Kennedy’s Senate seat in Massachusetts because us Bay-State Democrats rested on our laurels and failed to show up at the ballot box. Then, there was the emergence of the absolutely wacky Tea Party. Honestly, I like the “founding fathers” as much as anybody but I don’t walk around dressed like George Washington to prove it. 2010 was also the year that, to my astonishment, a sizeable number of Americans started to believe that Sarah Palin is actually a credible candidate for the highest office in the land. Talk about a year in the Twilight Zone. Finally, just so that the year did not exit quietly, we had an oven fire yesterday which required the assistance of the entire fire department and for some unknown reason, the police also too. I simply cannot wait for 2011 to begin. In fact, I’m going to go out tonight and party like it’s 1999. I hope that I do not have to write tomorrow’s post from a drunk tank somewhere.

But enough of all that negativity. On the bright side I have been blessed in many ways also. I have a wonderful family and dog and I have been lucky to have all of you loyal Rocketeers checking in to see what I have to say every now and again. Life could be a lot worse.

Here’s to a happy and healthy new year for all of you. Let’s keep up the good fight!

No song parody today, just a song that I think says it all.

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Thursday Night (Early Friday Morning) Music Byte

No description, just a great song by a great performer.

Will Season 2 Be Titled “Sarah Palin’s Arizona”?

Sarah Palin celebrates New Year's Eve in Maricopa, Arizona

For those of you that just cannot get enough of Sarah Palin and the rest of her Wasilla Hillbillies, TLC has just announced that the first season of “Sarah Palin’s Alaska” will be released on DVD. Oh yes, for a mere $ 19.98 you can purchase the two disc set beginning on April 5, 2011. The Hollywood Gossip reports, ” The DVD features all 387 minutes of Sarah camping with Kate Gosselin, bashing Michelle Obama and embarking on various hunting and fishing trips.” Now you also too can relive the magic again and again as the former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska brazenly executes animals before your eyes for no reason other than television ratings.

Speaking of “former” and “quitting”, it is also now rumored that the Queen of Quit may also be quitting on Alaska. Amy Andrews, the Gossip Girl of Irish Central tells us that all the Palins have had enough of snowy Alaska and therefore will be accompanying dancing daughter Bristol for the sun and good life in Arizona. Andrews says, “There are no ties that bind Sarah to Alaska any more and she will surely prosper in the warmer climate and with far more ease of travel to states like California, not to mention, early primary states in the Midwest and East Coast.” Yet , “It is ironic that Sarah will be ending up in the state where her presidential candidate running mate hails from. If Sarah had lived in Arizona in 2008 she could not have run for VP .”

A source told Robotceleb.com that “Both Sarah and Bristol are millionaires and have had enough of Alaska.” They go on to say that  “Sarah and Bristol raved about the sun and great weather in Los Angeles where Bristol Palin recently lived while appearing on the hit show “Dancing with the Stars”. Bristol Palin is planning on enrolling at Arizona State University in the fall.” Any guess how long the erudite Bristol will last at one of the “biggest party schools” in the nation or at any college for that matter? Then again, if she can’t cut it there, Sarah should be quite capable of helping Bristol fill out a transfer application inasmuch as mom matriculated at five different colleges before earning a mere bachelor’s degree.

As for Sarah Palin, Arizona seems the perfect fit. You might recall that her dad Chuck Heath once said that his daughter transferred out of Hawaii Pacific University because she was uncomfortable with foreigners. No problem with that in Arizona as the result of its racist profiling law and hate of immigrants. The Palins have such pasty white complexions that chances are slim they will ever be asked by an Arizona State Trooper to produce “their papers”. As an added benefit, Sarah Palin will be able to film season 2 of her reality television show in the Grand Canyon State. Palinbots nationwide will be thrilled to see their version of Annie Oakley reload and take aim at the most dangerous game of all, … Hispanics!

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s New Year’s Eve inspired song parody.

Same Auld Lang Syne song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2NmdFgFyhnk

SAME OLD LAME WHINE

(sung to the Dan Fogelberg song “Same Auld Lang Syne”)

Met Sarah Palin at a Walmart store
She was shoplifting like a thief
There was no sign of kids or the “First Dude”
‘Cuz Sarah brings home the beef

I recoiled from her aging face at first
But then her eyes flew open wide
She knew I saw the moose meat in her purse
And then she just fibbed and lied

I said I was not a security man
And then Sarah Palin was glad
She lacked any sense of embarrassment
At the thought that she was bagged

I asked if we could have a drink or two
Cuz she was such a rising star
We met “Joe Sixpack” at the liquor store
And we three went to a bar

We drank a toast to ignorance
We drank a toast to Mao
She tried to explain her head’s emptiness
But she did not know how

She said she’s married to a derelict
Who can’t keep a job if he tried
She would have like to say she loved the man
But she couldn’t stand the guy

I said “death panels” were the end for her
That she could turn a Red-State Blue
And did she fear her would-be son-in-law?
She just said, “Lynn, F_ _ _  you”

She said she hated all the pro-choice whores
And that she hoped they’d go to Hell
I asked if Coulter was a “he” or “she”?
Palin said she could not tell

She toasted her omnipotence
And asked us all to bow
I said, “so long and good riddance,
I must be leaving now”

Then one last toast to ignorance
Cuz it was closing time
She lacks a sense of eloquence
But has that old lame whine

The beers were empty and our tongues were tired
Another book signing today
She put her hat on and hopped on her broom
And I watched her fly away

She graduated from a “safety school”
So she has no-one else to blame
There’s no intelligence inside her dome
That’s why she is so lame.

Pouting Palin’s Prospects Plummet In Poll Plunge

Smile for the camera!

Her 15 minutes of fame are quickly ticking away. The bloom has come off the rose. Sarah Palin is no longer the “It Girl”. The former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska is spiraling downward towards irrelevancy.

As each week passes the American public is treated to the release of a new national poll which reflects Sarah Palin’s decline. This final week of 2010 is no exception. A CNN/Opinion Research Corporation survey released yesterday reveals that as President Barack Obama’s standing among Democrats soars, Sarah Palin’s standing among Republicans is dropping precipitously. A whopping 78% of Democrats say they want to see Obama at the top of their party’s ticket in 2012, with only 19 percent saying they would prefer someone else as the Democratic presidential nominee. The 19 percent figure is the lowest figure since March, when the question was first asked. In stark contrast to Obama’s support, Palin’s prospects are dimming like those soon to be extinct incandescent light bulbs. Only 49%  of Republicans say that they are likely to support her for the Republican nomination in 2012. CNN reports that that is a huge 18% drop since December of 2008, when over 67% said they were likely to support Palin.

Indeed, Sarah Palin is now a distant fourth even within her own party. The poll reveals that 67% of Republicans now support Mike Huckabee(hound) the former Governor of Arkansas; 59% support former Massachusetts Governor Mitt(wit) Romney: and 54% support the former disgraced Speaker of the House, Newt Gingrich. It must be humiliating to Palin to trail that trifecta of trivialism.

Much of the blame for Palin’s decline lies with the Queen of Quit herself. By acting like a Hollywood diva, she has alienated such traditional Republicans (and not coincidentally, Fox News co-workers/contributors) as Karl Rove and Charles Krauthammer. When those two pundits repeatedly appear on Palin’s own network and question her fitness for national office, it is only a matter of time before the station’s mindless, conservative puppet audience begins to follow suit. A good example of her decline in popularity among conservatives was the disappointing sales figures of her most recent ghost-written book as opposed to her earlier ghost-written tome. Additionally, even the masses of poorly-educated, gun-toting, Bible-thumping conservative rednecks must have eventually caught on to the fact that starring in a television reality series is not very Presidential behavior. Her crib-noted hands and penchant for communication via the sophomoric Facebook and Twitter are also viewd as net negatives. In short, Sarah Palin is finally being viewed by conservatives as the unelectable clown that she truly is.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s always popular song parody.

Rawhide song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ldkxqiosXYY

POLL-SLIDE

(sung to the TV theme of, “Rawhide”)

Fallin’ Fallin’ Fallin’
Fallin’ Fallin’ Fallin’
Fallin’ Fallin’ Fallin’
Fallin’ Fallin’ Fallin’
Poll Slide

Keep movin’, movin’, movin’
People disapprovin’
Sarah’s not improvin’, Poll-Slide!
She cannot understand ‘em,
She hopes results are random,
Soon she’ll be in a double-wide.
There’s no way of definin’
Just why the polls declinin’, declinin’ like a massive
Landslide.

Headin’ down, movin’ fast,
Losin’ ground, ship her out,
Headin’ down, movin’ fast
Poll-Slide!
Kick her out,  shoot her down,
Send her home, push her out,
Kick her butt, fallin’ fast
Poll-Slide!

Fallin’ Fallin’ Fallin’
Her eyeballs are ballin’
How come no-one’s callin’?
Poll-Slide!
It looks like stormy weather
And she’s light like a feather
She’ll be swept under by the tide.
She’ll be unemployed soon,
A wolf killin’ buffoon,
And all this resultin’ from her lies

Headin’ down, movin’ fast,
Losin’ ground, ship her out,
Headin’ down, movin’ fast
Poll-Slide!
Kick her out,  shoot her down,
Send her home, push her out,
Kick her butt, fallin’ fast
Poll-Slide!

Fallin’ Fallin’ Fallin’
Fallin’ Fallin’ Fallin’
Fallin’ Fallin’ Fallin’
Fallin’ Fallin’ Fallin’
Poll Slide

Turn Out The Lights, The Tea Party’s Over For Joe Miller

How dare you lose, Joe Miller!

The Boston Blizzard of 2010 is now over and we are back online. More about that in the next few days. In the meantime, Lynnrockets would like to get back to business. So, without further ado…

It is not “Miller Time” in Alaska. The “Fat Lady” is now singing quite loudly. Stick a fork in Joe Miller because he is done. Turn out the lights because the Tea Party’s over. Add your favorite cliché (here).

Finally, Alaska’s Tea Party candidate for U.S. Senate, Joe Miller is admitting defeat (sort of). On Sunday, his campaign issued a press release in which he said that he will cease his attempts to prohibit the Alaska Division of Elections from certifying that Republican Lisa Murkowski was the winner of the November election. His decision came as the result of the Alaska Supreme Court’s unanimous ruling against Miller’s election challenge. Consequently, Murkowski will now take her Senate seat and Alaska will have full representation when Congress reconvenes in January.

Miller however, will not fade away peacefully. The Sarah Palin endorsed candidate with a troubled past will continue litigation in the federal court system. He admits that his efforts have no chance of overturning the election, but he would like to see his devastating loss marginalized by a reduction in the number of votes awarded to write-in candidate Murkowski. Presently, unofficial results show Murkowski winning the election by more than 10,000 votes in the sparsely populated state.

It would appear that Miller’s federal court action has nothing to do with the citizens of Alaska and everything to do with his own vanity. Miller believes that if the final results show a narrower margin of victory for Murkowski, he will have a better chance of running for elected office in the future. He seems oblivious to the fact that he was soundly embarrassed by his lopsided loss to a write-in candidate. He also does not seem to realize that his popularity and credibility were diminished on an almost daily basis during his campaign as several less than flattering revelations regarding his past were revealed to the public. His popularity plunged even more after each of his successive court losses in the state system. In short, Joe Miller’s dreams for future elective office are illusory at best. Everyone seems cognizant of this fact except Joe Miller.

The demise of Joe Miller is also a blow to Sarah Palin. She had already suffered the indignity of having most of her high profile Tea Party endorsees lose in the mid-term elections. The nation’s voters rejected Palin’s judgment in supporting such moonbat-crazy candidates as Sharron “2nd Amendment Remedies” Angle, Christine “Witchy Woman” O’Donnell, Linda “Woman Are Sex Objects” McMahon, Carly “Worst CEO In History” Fiorina, Meg “illegal Housekeeper” Whitman, John “Lasers In The Sky” Raese, Tom “Bomb Mecca” Tancredo, Sean “Privatize Social Security” Bielat, Ken “No Abortion For Rape Victims” Buck and Dino “Repeal Wall Street Reform” Rossi. Still, the Alaskan voter rejection of Joe “Dump Social Security” Miller is the most embarrassing loss of all. Sarah Palin went “all in” on Miller in an effort to punish Murkowski and to simultaneously solidify her influence in Alaska. With Miller’s stunning defeat, Palin not only lost the hand, but she was forced out of the game. Sarah Palin will now be viewed as a limited political figure that cannot even garner support from her own fellow Alaskans.

Odds are that Palin too will now disavow Joe Miller. As we all know, Sarah Palin’s loyalty only runs as deep as her profit margin.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Tom Dooley song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AoBLGE2cCdU

HANG DOWN YOUR HEAD, JOE MILLER

(sung to the Kingston Trio song “Tom Dooley”)

Throughout history
There’ve been many songs written about the political triangle
This next one tells the story of Sarah Palin, Lisa Murkowski
And a defeated man named Joe Miller…
When the sun rises tomorrow, Joe Miller…will be gone…

Hang down your head, Joe Miller
Hang down your head and cry
Hang down your head, Joe Miller
Election hopes have died

No room on Senate mountain
Voters said, “No dice”
Lisa drinks from that fountain
She put Joe on ice

Hang down your head, Joe Miller
Hang down your head and cry
Hang down your head, Joe Miller
Election hopes have died

This time tomorrow
Know where Joe will be?
His time he will be wastin’
Just cryin’ with Sarah P.

(well now boy)

Hang down your head, Joe Miller
Hang down your head and cry
Hang down your head, Joe Miller
Election hopes have died

Hang down your head, Joe Miller
Hang down your head and cry
Hang down your head, Joe Miller
Election hopes have died

This time tomorrow
Joe will finally see
Down in the Mat Su Valley
They voted for Murkowski

Hang down your head, Joe Miller
Hang down your head and cry
Hang down your head, Joe Miller
Election hopes have died

Hang down your head, Joe Miller
Hang down your head and cry
Hang down your head, Joe Miller
Election hopes have died

Poor boy your hopes have died
Poor boy your hopes have died
Poor boy your hopes have –  died

Blizzard, Boston, No Internet, Post Tomorrow.

Catch up with you folks tomorrow. No power on the island.

Happy Boxing Day To All My Rocketeers!

Boxing Day is a holiday celebrated in Ireland, Britain, Australia, New Zealand, and Canada. It falls on December 26th, which is also St. Stephen’s Day.

St. Stephen was a little known saint who achieved eternal fame by being the first Christian to be martyred for his faith, and he met his death by stoning.

Boxing Day is so called because on this day it was the customary for tradesmen to collect their Christmas boxes or gifts in return for good service throughout the year. Also, it included giving money and other gifts to charitable institutions, and the needy.

The holiday may date from as early as the Middle Ages, but the exact origin is not known. It may have begun with the Lords and Ladies of England, who gave Christmas boxes/gifts to their servants on December 26, or maybe by priests, who opened the church’s alms (charity boxes), and distributed the contents to the poor and needy.

In Ireland, this day has become part of the celebrations, of being with family.

A day to visit other relations, and to have a rest from the day before, to play fun games. Some families, buy a new game each year, but still bring out the old favourites :-)

For some it is good to have the 2 days, as on one of the days you can visit with your parents, and the other day your inlaws :-)

St Stephen is the patron saint of horses, so Boxing Day became associated with horse-racing and hunting. Other sports are also held on this day like football (soccer to Yanks) and rugby.

Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and Boxing Day is the Christmas season for those in Ireland.
It is a good day, to change the pace, have a more relaxing day, especially for the “cooks” in the family. Also a day to have something different to eat, some people have cold ham as the main dish to a cold buffet type meal. This way, putting together a buffet of cold foods, everyone can just help themselves to what they want, and how much they want. Mainly it is a day we try not to cook, as the day before is always very busy in the kitchen, and it is nice not to expect the lady of the house to be in the kitchen on this second day of Christmas, and to spend more time with family and friends.

Have a Happy Boxing Day!!!

The Bells of Dublin is an album of Christmas songs and traditional carols by the Irish band The Chieftains. The album features guest performances by various artists, including Elvis Costello, Jackson Browne, Kate and Anna McGarrigle, Marianne Faithfull, Nanci Griffith, Rickie Lee Jones and the actor Burgess Meredith.

Writing in the album’s liner notes, Paddy Moloney said, “These recording sessions hold special memories for The Chieftains and myself, and bring together all the colours of this festive season.”

May All You Rocketeers Have A Very Merry Christmas! – Open Thread

A New England Christmas.

No in depth post today. Just my all time favorite Holiday Season song, “Sleigh Ride” by Arthur Fiedler and the Boston Pops. Lynnrockets wishes all of you and yours a very Merry Christmas!

As Predicted, Bristol Is Next To Flee Sinking S.S. Palin

Those smiles are now fading.

Yesterday, Lynnrockets’ Blast-Off commented upon Thomas Van Flein jumping from the “Good Ship Palin” to work as deputy chief of staff for newly elected Arizona Rep. Paul Gosar. It was noted that Van Flein’s quitting on the “Queen of Quit” was a devastating blow because not only was Van Flein one of only four members of her inner circle, he was also the only Alaskan in that clique. Van Flein realized that the Palin dingy was taking on water as evidenced by so many recent national polls which revealed that Julian Assange (Wikileaks founder) has a better chance of being elected President than Sarah Palin. Before going down with the ship, Van Flein sought the calmer and more temperate waters of Arizona. Today we learned that he was only the first to leave Sarah behind.

In yesterday’s post we speculated that daughter Bristol would be the next rat to flee the distressed Sarah Palin. Guess what? We were correct. The Maricopa Monitor (Arizona) reports today that , “Bristol Palin, the 20-year daughter of former GOP vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin, has purchased a 5-bedroom home in Maricopa — closing on the nearly 4,000-square-foot dwelling. Palin purchased the house from Michael and Cynthia Smith for $172,000, records show.”

What is it with Palin defectors and the state of Arizona? Could it be that the climate is that much more appealing or is it something else? Is there a Bristol/Van Flein fling that we don’t know about? Probably not, but with the wacky Palin’s, nothing is beyond speculation. Nevertheless, it is certain that Bristol is trying to separate herself from “Mama Grizzly” (can you blame her?). Their relationship is clearly strained. Remember when Sarah publicly made her feelings known about the short-lived Bristol/Levi reunion? Remember when Bristol took pot shots at her mother on “Dancing With The Stars” by choosing songs such as “Mama Told Me Not To Come” and “You Can’t Hurry Love”? It is only a matter of time before one of them writes her own version of “Mommie/Daughter Dearest”. The only question is, who will be the ghostwriter? Neither Sarah nor Bristol is very erudite after all.

Another question is just how will Bristol support herself and baby Tripp now that she has her new crib? It will be an awful long commute to her full time position at that doctor’s office up in Alaska that Sarah once boasted about. Also, that shell of a political consulting business never really found its legs. And, you cannot appear on reality television shows forever. Or can you? Who knows? Let’s wait for the Facebook announcement.

The more pressing question is, who will be the next rat to flee the sinking S.S. Palin? Is our Todd guess still in play. Only the Shadow knows.

Until we learn more, Lynnrockets wishes all of you loyal “Rocketeers” a very Merry Christmas.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s parody.

Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TPAOBN4Pt-Y

HAVE YOURSELF A SARAH PALIN CHRISTMAS

(sung to the Christmas song “Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas”)

Sarah Palin is far away
She’s out making some cash
This is Sarah Palin’s pay day
Just how long will it last?

Have yourself a Sarah Palin Christmas
Wink and blink your eyes
Leave the bus
And fly your jet up in the skies

Have yourself a Sarah Palin Christmas
Sign books to get paid
Take that dough
From people that you have betrayed

These are not like the olden days
These are golden days for sure
You don’t have to travel by bus
On your marvelous book tour

Come next year
Things will be even better
You’re the cat’s meow
You’ll still have the SarahPAC as your cash cow
So have yourself a Sarah Palin Christmas now

(These are not like the olden days)
(These are golden days for sure)
You don’t have to travel by bus
On your marvelous book tour

Come next year
Things will be even better
You’re the cat’s meow
You’ll still have the SarahPAC as your cash cow
So have yourself a Sarah Palin Christmas now

The Rats Are Fleeing the Sinking S.S. Palin

I'll Get You, Van Flein!

One of Sarah Palin’s most trusted advisers has just jumped ship. Attorney Thomas Van Flein is leaving Team Palin to work in Washington for newly elected Arizona Rep. Paul Gosar as his deputy chief of staff. This is a devastating blow to Palin because not only was Van Flein one of only four members of her inner circle, he was also the only Alaskan in that clique.

“I am pleased to have Tom Van Flein, with his experience and background, help me in D.C. with my District issues and the issues facing our country,” said Gosar. “As one of my trusted advisers, I look forward to working with him in Washington and ensuring that we listen to the American people and work to uphold the principles that make this country great.”

Many of you might recall that Van Flein was Palin’s personal legal counsel. He had a penchant for threatening to file frivolous lawsuits against any blogger or individual that was publicly critical of the ex-quitting, former half-term Governor. When push came to shove however, he usually folded like a lawn chair and failed to commence litigation. Van Flein has also been unsuccessful in his attempts to overturn the election results from November’s Alaskan U.S. Senatorial election so as to favor his client, Joe Miller. He has brought the issue before virtually every court in Alaska but he has lost each time.

Inasmuch as three national polls released last week reveal that Palin is unelectable to higher office, it is no wonder that Van Flein is the first rat to flee the sinking ship. Now the question is; who will be next? My guess is Bristol and then Todd shortly thereafter. Another question is; how long will it be before Sarah Palin publicly berates the traitorous Van Flein by means of either a Facebook post or a Twitter tweet?

Quote Of The Week:

“It does not scare me because I believe in the intelligence of the American public.”

– Oprah Winfrey responding to whether the thought of Sarah Palin’s running for President scares her.

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune (if you are from Mars) and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Deck The Halls With Boughs Of Holly song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=exsGGdkgASY

DECK THE HALLS

(sung to the Christmas song “Deck The Halls”)

Deck the halls with quotes of Sarah
Fa la la la la, la la la la
Beehive hair and much mascara
Fa la la la la, la la la la

Don her “Arctic Cat” apparel
Fa la la, la la la, la la la
Doubts the words of Clarence Darrow
Fa la la la la, la la la la

See the blazing fool before us
Fa la la la la, la la la la
Brain tissue that’s really porous
Fa la la la la, la la la la

Palin seeks a life of pleasure
Fa la la la, la la la, la la la
Hawking books to boost her treasure
Fa la la la la, la la la la

Sarah wears her rimless glasses
Fa la la la la, la la la la
When she attends witchcraft masses
Fa la la la la, la la la la

Her supporters stick together
Fa la la la la, la la la la
Waiting out in the bad weather
Fa la la la la, la la la la