Get Out The Butter, Herman Cain Is Toast!

As usual, we ask that you click on the song link here before reading this blog post so that you may enjoy some very appropriate background music which we now refer to as “Herman’s Theme”.

Where there is smoke, there is fire and where there is Herman Cain, there is extramarital action.

Another woman came forward yesterday with claims of marital misconduct on the part of Republican Presidential candidate Herman Cain. Cain’s infidelity count has now risen to 5. In his defense however, we must remember that 5 is a very small number in that Cain has stated that he expects there to be an “infinite number” of new claims against him. Who knew that during his time as CEO of Godfathers’ Pizza, Herman was actually out making deliveries to all these lonely women while his wife sat at home darning his socks?

As you all probably know by now, a woman named Ginger White has come forward with the claim that she had a 13 year sexual affair with Herman Cain which ended just prior to his announcement that he would seek the Presidency. Ms. White alleges that Cain initiated the affair and that he told her that he was married. She states that Cain flew her to hotels around the country to stay with him during his business travels for the National Restaurant Association. She said, ““It was pretty simple. It wasn’t complicated. I was aware that he was married. And I was also aware I was involved in a very inappropriate situation, relationship.” Hey, at least this woman welcomed his advances (unlike all the others). She describes Cain as, “Very much the same, very much confident, very much sure of himself. Very arrogant in a playful sometimes way. Very, ah — Herman Cain loves Herman Cain.” And everybody else too!

Of course, this most recent allegation of sexual misconduct on the part of Herman Cain follows closely on the 4 other recent charges of sexual harassment which have been levied against him. This guy gets around. Will he now feel that he has a “good reason to” to take that lie detector test which he conditionally agreed to her during his November 8th press conference? Will Cain double-down on his “I have never acted inappropriately with anyone, period.” statement? Enquiring minds want to know! We also want to know how many other women are about to go public. Perhaps Cain’s 9-9-9 plan represents 9 allegations of sexual misconduct, 9 denials and 9 more women just waiting in the wings.

How long now before Herman Cain does the “honorable thing” and bows out of the presidential race like John Edwards in 2008? Get out the butter, because Herman Cain is toast.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Rock You Like A Hurricane song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OI2COawqMJQ

FONDLED BY OL’ HERMAN CAIN

 (sung to the Scorpions song “Rock You Like A Hurricane”)

You had no warning
No time to shout
Now you are shaking
Time to speak out
Herm Cain was purring
And stroking your skin
Something’s gone wrong
He’s done it again
His lips looked hungry
And his breath smelled
What’s with those pinches?
Tell me, pray tell
Cain is a bum
His speech slurred and slow
You want to leave but…
Herm won’t let you go

Here I am, fondled by ol’ Herman Cain
Here I am, fondled by ol’ Herman Cain

Cain says he is yearning
Don’t try to shout
This liar is cunning
There is no doubt
Done this for ages
Plies gals with booze
Tries to get naked
Lets no-one refuse
His fingers crawling
Cain’s a real pro
When Herm is hungry
He runs the show
He’s lickin’ his lips
Now he’s movin’ in
On the hunt tonight
He took off his ring

Here I am, fondled by ol’ Herman Cain
Here I am, fondled by ol’ Herman Cain
Here I am, fondled by ol’ Herman Cain
Here I am, fondled by ol’ Herman Cain

Fondled by ol’ Herman Cain!

(9-9-9 tax break)

It’s Wednesday morning
The truth comes out
Herm Cain is shaking
He’s done no doubt
His deeds recurring
Over again
Campaign’s long gone
In light of his sins
He’s so appalling
The world now knows
Despite his money
He’s a side-show
He’s a sinking ship
Despite all his spin
His wife leaves tonight
It’s over for him

Here I am, fondled by ol’ Herman Cain
Here I am, fondled by ol’ Herman Cain
Here I am, fondled by ol’ Herman Cain
Here I am, fondled by ol’ Herman Cain
Here I am.

Happy Thanksgiving Wishes

Lynnrockets wishes all of you loyal Rocketeers a happy and healthy Thanksgiving holiday and weekend. This is the true beginning of the holiday season and it is an especially beautiful time of year here in New England, with crisp weather and the smell of wood-burning fireplaces permeating the air. We enjoy the morning high-school football games. We give thanks for the blessings we have received. We are thankful for the heartwarming and festive gathering of family and friends for a wonderful home-cooked meal. We look forward to and plan for the upcoming Christmas season.

This Thanksgiving has an added bonus for Lynnrockets. At 1:00 pm ET my beloved Green Bay Packers will play their division rival Detroit Lions. The Packers are undefeated thus far with a 10 and 0 record and the Lions are fielding their first competitive team in over 20 years while fighting for a playoff spot, so the outcome of the game is in question. As added drama, it is interesting to note that the last time the Green Bay Packers were 10 and 0 was 1962 when they were beginning their 1960s dominance of the NFL with Bart Starr, Paul Hornung and legendary coach Vince Lombardi. That year they also played the Detroit Lions on Thanksgiving but unfortunately for the Packers they lost that game. It was the Packers only loss of the season. Here’s hoping we have no repeat of that event this year.

Do not forget however, that we are not the only ones who have a lot to be thankful for this year. The House Republicans also have much to be thankful for. In fact, the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee (DCCC) has compiled a list:

Here are a dozen things House Republicans can be most thankful for.

1)      Turning Medicare into vouchers got them on TLC’s Extreme Couponing

2)      “Some random person” named Grover.  No, not the Muppet

3)      Special interests rewarding them for protecting corporate tax breaks, like that personal jet exception

4)      Having friends like the Kochs and Karl Rove who are able to air “issue advocacy” ads without having to say who paid for them.

5)      Jack is back. (see jackabramoff.com)

6)      Having a Financial Services Chairman who says his job is to “serve the banks”

7)      The tea party freshman weren’t actually serious about changing Washington (phew).

8)      Pizza is now a vegetable

9)      Blake Farenthold taught them how to twitter

10)  A name like “Young Guns” to totally give them street cred

11)  Eric Cantor cancelling his weekly press conferencing, giving him more time to produce his vanity video’s #winning

12)   Kleenex finally having their man in the Speaker’s office

Once again here’s wishing you all a wonderful Thanksgiving and…

GO PACK, GO !!!

See you folks next week. Until then, please enjoy listening to the full version of Arlo Guthrie’s “Alice’s Restaurant”. It has been a Massachusetts tradition for some 40 years for this song to be played on countless radio stations across the state on Thanksgiving. Please take the time to listen to the full song and remember those great late 1960s!

Today’s song parody is autobiographical in nature and explains the purpose of this blog.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

I Write The Songs song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w-fev20voMc

I WRITE THE SONGS

(sung to the Barry Manilow song “I Write The Songs”)

I sling the jive whenever,
I sit down and scribble a song
I put the words and Republicans together
I love music,
And I love these songs

I write the songs that I hope you folks sing
I write the songs to dethrone G.O.P. kings
I write the songs that expose all their lies
I write the songs, I write the songs

I’m from a state that’s deep blue,
And we make a damned good lobster roll
No, there aren’t many right wing guys
There’s some but then, all of them are very old

I write the songs that attack the right wing
I write the songs that I hope linger and sting
I write the songs that prompt Glenn Beck to cry
I write the songs, I write the songs

Oh, I’ll take a hostile stance
When Limbaugh begins to rave and rant
And I’ll lead you to a poll, he can’t disprove
Palin has no heart,
So, I will tear her life apart
Hannity, Coulter too,
Also, too, O’Reilly
None of them can hide from me !!!

I write the songs about Mark Sanford’s flings
I write the songs about Larry Craig’s stings
I write the songs about Mark Foley’s guys
I write the songs, I write the songs

I write the songs about Joe Wilson’s slings
I write the songs of Vitter’s diapery things
I write the songs about all of those guys
I write the songs, I write the songs

I love music, so I write these songs

Military Hierarchy Belittles GOP Presidential Candidates’ Foreign Policy Views

It is being reported by CNN that retired Gen. Wesley Clark, former Navy Secretary Richard Danzig and Ret. Maj. Gen. Paul Eaton are publicly endorsing President Barack Obama’s military policies and actions while overtly criticizing the foreign policy positions of the field of Republican candidates as “shifting positions” and being “all over the place”. These positions were aired last night at the National Press Club on the eve of the CNN Republican National Security Debate in Washington.

Wesley Clark, the former supreme allied commander to NATO, took Mitt Romney to task when he said, “One (candidate) praised President Obama’s troop surge and concurred with the idea of later taking combat troops out of Afghanistan while criticizing setting a withdrawal date. Then he suggested U.S. troops should stay there. Then he said he’d like to see the troops come home as soon as possible.” He went on to say of Romney, “One veteran candidate’s position has evolved from needing to consult military lawyers about how to proceed against Iran in 2007 to an eagerness for military action now that gives many of us pause.”

Newt Gingrich was also singled out for criticism on the basis that his ideas for covert action in Iran are “cute”. Of Gingrich, Clark said, “Some candidates seem to be rattling the sabres for war with Iran. One candidate was placing heavy emphasis on covert action as though he had just invented the idea and nothing is happening now, which is a little bit cute since the definition of covert action is that it cannot be acknowledged.”

The trio of military brass apparently saw no reason to even comment upon Herman Cain. Cain’s blunders, including warning that China is trying to develop nuclear capability and his complete confusion about what transpired in Libya have been broadcast over the nation’s airwaves for the last few weeks. It would appear that those blunders have rendered Cain non-mention-worthy in the realm of foreign policy.

It will be interesting to see how the other GOP wannabes address foreign policy issues tonight at the Republican National Security Debate in Washington D.C. Tune in at 8:00 pm Eastern Time for what is surely to be a laugh-fest.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

“The Brady Bunch” theme song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ou-FeOoKDq4

THE ROMNEY BUNCH

 (sung to the theme song of “The Brady Bunch”)

Here’s the story of a man named Romney
He was governor of Mass. but made us hurl
Now his story has been told, like no other
Jobs lost in a swirl

Here’s the story of a man who’s shady
He cannot hold one position of his own
Changes his mind just like the weather
Still, he seeks the throne

His convictions are as strong and firm as Jello
What he knew wasn’t much more than a hunch
Just like Newt, he is not very manly
Mitt Romney and his campaign are out to lunch
The Romney Bunch
The Romney Bunch
Yeas they are all so lame, the Romney Bunch

GOP Flavor Of The Month Gingrich Leaves Bitter Aftertaste

The Republican Presidential candidate flavor of the week has just taken on a decidedly bitter aftertaste. First it was Sarah Palin that conservatives wanted as their Presidential nominee, then it was Michele Bachmann who titillated the Tea Party. When Palin elected not to run and it became evident that Bachmann was unelectable because she is moonbat-crazy, the Republican base turned to Chris Christie and Rick Perry as their taste du-jour. Like Palin however, Christie decided not to run and Perry lost favor the moment he opened his mouth at debates. Next up was Herman Cain. Unfortunately, he also left a bad taste in the mouths of conservatives when his series of unfortunate events (raising taxes on the working class, multiple sexual harassment claim and ignorance of foreign policy) unfolded. Consequently, Republicans have now turned their lonely eyes to Newt Gingrich. Unfortunately (for the GOP and Gingrich), he too is now quickly souring.

It is now more than obvious that Republicans are turning over every stone in an attempt to unearth a nominee other than the despised Mitt Romney. Nonetheless, it does not look like Newt Gingrich is “The One”. He jumped to the top of the GOP list only after the five aforementioned saviors imploded. It is understandable why he was their sixth choice. After all, Newt Gingrich was the only Speaker of the House in history to be sanctioned while in office for an ethics violation. It is also remarkable that he was driven from the speakership position and also his seat in the House of Representatives by his own Republican Party. Additionally, It was recently discovered that the self-described fiscal conservative ran up a nearly $1 million credit bill at toney Tiffany & Co. jewelers while simultaneously his campaign is nearly $1 million in debt. Shortly thereafter, his entire senior campaign staff abruptly quit on him.

This week, things got even worse for Newt Gingrich. Gingrich has long been running along the campaign trail blaming (unjustifiably) pseudo-governmental Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac for the mortgage meltdown which collapsed our economy in 2007. Indeed, on October 11, 2011 he went so far as to say,

“If you want to put people in jail… You ought to start with Barney Frank and Chris Dodd. And let’s look at the politicians who created the environment, the politicians who profited from the environment, and the politicians who put this country in trouble. In Barney Frank’s case, go back and look at the lobbyists he was close to at Freddie Mac.”

By the way, here is Barney Frank’s response to Gingrich’s statement:

Damming words. Unfortunately for Newt Gingrich, it was just discovered that he was one of those Freddie Mac lobbyists or consultants. Bloomberg reported on Tuesday that Gingrich was hired to gain GOP support on Capitol Hill as the government-backed mortgage company came under fire during the subprime mortgage meltdown. CNN also confirmed that “Gingrich Group was paid between $1.6 million and $1.8 million to lobby Republicans in Congress on behalf of the government-backed mortgage lender.” The payments to Gingrich were made during two periods – from 1999 to 2002 and 2006 to 2008. CNN reports that a former official who worked for Freddie Mac during both of Gingrich’s stints, claims that Gingrich was consulted about Freddie’s efforts to become more transparent about “risk and capital management” procedures, risk information disclosure, and how those efforts would be received in Congress, specifically by Republicans. The official went on to say that during his first stint, Freddie Mac wanted to “bond” with Bush administration officials on the idea of creating a “home ownership society” – getting more Latinos and other minorities into home ownership – and worked with Gingrich on that.

It sure looks like Newt Gingrich has some ‘splainin’ to do!

Stay tuned for the upcoming announcement of the newest Republican Presidential flavor of the week. Who will it be? Ron Paul? Rick Santorum? Jon Huntsman? One thing is certain however, it will not be the all but certain eventual nominee, Mitt Romney.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

I Am Woman song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MGMESM8JKOg

I AM GINGRICH

(sung to the Helen Reddy song “I Am Woman”)

I am Gingrich, hear me snore
The G.O.P. showed me the door
In ’98, I was thrown out on my rear end
‘cause I called for a class war
When Clinton dallied with that whore
So what if I also had a lady friend

Oh yes I’m despised
And I caused a lot of pain
I’ve been married thrice
And I will wed again
Remember, “Contract With America”
I was wrong (wrong)
Now I’m invisible (invisible)
I am Gingrich

Now I’ve shown you that I’m tasteless
By calling Sonia a racist
When I’m the guy that bloviates on ghettos
My lies will grow much stronger
And my nose will grow much longer
When I start to call Sotomayor a “Hoe”

Oh yes I’m despised
And I caused a lot of pain
I’ve been married thrice
And I will wed again
Remember, “Contract With America”
I was wrong (wrong)
Now I’m invisible (invisible)
I am Gingrich

I am Gingrich don’t you know
Democrats know that I blow
Fox News spreads my fat visage across the land
And I’ll use those embryos
And those nameless “baby does”
If it helps me to advance my final stand

Oh yes I’m despised
And I caused a lot of pain
I’ve been married thrice
And I will wed again
Remember, “Contract With America”
I am wrong (wrong)
And I’m invisible (invisible)
I am Gingrich
Oh, I am Gingrich
I am invisible
I am wrong

(Fading)
I am Gingrich
I am invisible
I am wrong
I am Gingrich

Like Rick Perry, Heraman Cain Is Simply Too Stupid To Be President!

Last week, we pointed out the numerous reasons why Republican Presidential candidate Rick Perry is too stupid to be the President of the United States. We highlighted his inability to speak articulately in a debate as demonstrated by his childlike  on-stage arguments with Mott Romney and his “oops moment” of being unable to name one of the Cabinet agencies he would abolish. We also mentioned his bizarre New Hampshire stump speech wherein his speech was slurred, he made crazy faces and made odd references. In fact, he generally made no sense at all. It appeared that he was either drunk or overly medicated. When you add in the fact that he was placed on academic probation while attending Texas A&M, it is easy to see that of the two, George W. Bush was even smarter than Rick Perry. By the way, that isn’t saying much for the intelligence of Texas Governors.

This week we have a different dunce to discuss. Republican Presidential candidate Herman Cain is now giving Rick Perry and Michele Bachmann (to be addressed in an upcoming post) a run for their money in the Stupid Race. Thus far Cain has released his 9-9-9 tax plan which included a 9% national sales tax. When it was revealed that the sales tax was a regressive tax on the poor and working/middle class, the non-economist architect of the plan admitted that the sales tax must be slashed. Thereafter, it was determined that the Cain plan would guarantee tax reductions to the super wealthy while raising taxes on approximately 80% of the population who are not so fortunate to be included in that category. Then, during an interview on PBS’ NewsHour, Cain warned that China has indicated it is “trying to develop nuclear capability.” Unbeknownst to Cain, China has had nuclear weapons since 1964. Cain has also stated that he could imagine a situation in which he would negotiate with terrorists if he were President.  All of this shows that Cain’s grasp of knowledge of tax policy and foreign policy is tenuous at best.

This week, Herman Cain’s grip was severed completely. In a very illustrative post, NPR.org revealed the most recent example of Cain’s complete lack of understanding of foreign policy. NPR reveals that during an interview with the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel on Monday, Cain demonstrated “a flamboyant confusion over his position on Libya.” Here is how NPR explained it:

In a meeting Milwaukee Journal Sentinel staff members, a journalist asked the Republican presidential candidate a question that wasn’t exactly one of those “gotcha” queries. Paraphrasing, the question was: Do you agree or not with President Obama’s Libya policy?

“OK, Libya,” Cain said closing his eyes, then looking up, then leaning forward, a man clearly trying to summon up from somewhere in his brain that Libya stuff.

After several seconds, some facts seemed to come to him, sort of. But he didn’t appear certain.

With the deliberateness of a skater testing the thickness of pond ice in early winter, he spoke slowly without any of the verve or certainty he would have had if the question had been about, say, his 9-9-9 plan.

CAIN: “President Obama —- supported the uprising, correct? President Obama called for the removal of Gadhaffi. I just want to make sure we’re talking about the same thing before I say ‘Yes, I agree’ or ‘No, I didn’t agree.

“I do not agree with the way he handled it for the following reasons. Umm. No that’s a different one. “I’ve got to go back to see. I’ve got all this stuff twirling around in my head.”

Then he has an idea. How about buying some more time by asking the journalist to clarify:

CAIN: “Specifically, what are you asking me did I disagree or not agree with Obama?”

The journalist restates and elaborates on the question, ending with “How would you have handled it?”

CAIN: “Here’s what I would have done differently. I would have done a better job of determining who the opposition is. And I’m sure that our intelligence people had some of that information. Based upon who made up that opposition, might’ve caused me to make some different decisions about how we participate. Secondly, no I did not agree with Gadhaffi killing his citizens.

“Absolutely not. So something would have had to have been, I would have supported many of the things that they did in order to help stop that. It’s not a simple yes-no because there are different pieces and I would have gone about assessing the situation differently which might have caused us to end up in the same place. But where I think more could have been done was what’s the nature of the opposition.”

Shortly after this, however, Cain badly contradicts himself. He has been criticizing Obama for not thoroughly assessing the situation but then acknowledges he has no idea what kind of assessment Obama and his national security team conducted.

The moment comes when a second journalist asks Cain if he would have backed away from U.S. involvement in Libya due to the uncertainties he cited about the Libyan opposition’s composition or the way forward. Cain again says he couldn’t give a yes-no answer because “all of those things should have been assessed.”

To which the journalist asks: “You don’t think they were assessed?”

CAIN: “I don’t know that they were or were not assessed. I didn’t see reports of that assessment.”

Let’s be unequivocal about this folks, Herman Cain does not even have a rudimentary knowledge of foreign policy. In a knee-jerk response to any question about a tactic or policy of the Obama Administration, he will automatically oppose whatever it is that Obama has said or done without having any ideas of his own as to what should have been said or done in the alternative. Such a characteristic shows only bullheadedness and not careful thought. That is exactly the type of presidency we had for 8 years under George W. Bush and we are continuing to suffer the disastrous consequences of that man’s knee-jerk actions of tax cuts, deregulation and war to this very day. We do not need a repeat performance under a Herman Cain presidency which would also be likely to include a growing list of sexual misconduct allegations.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

One After 9-0-9 song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TipfIUP1kAE

THE ONE AFTER 9-9-9

 (sung to the Beatles song “One After 9-0-9”)

Rick Perry says he’s workin’ on the one after 9-9-9
He says, “Move over Herman, the best damn tax plan is mine”
He says, “I’ll say this once, take my advice”
“I’ll make sure that the poor pay a price”
Perry’s workin’ on the one after 9-9-9

Cain’s plan has got to go cuz his sales tax is a penalty
Herm loves foolin’ round but never fool around with me
Rick says, “I’ll say this once, take my advice”
“I’ll make sure that the poor pay twice”
Perry’s workin’ on the one after 9-9-9

I love to brag ‘bout my creation
My objective? Wealth will rule the nation
That is my bag, mine alone
I hope I ain’t,  got the numbers wrong

Cain, I say I’m workin’ on the one after 9-9-9
I say, “Move over Herman, the Presidency is mine”
If you move over once, I will be nice
I’ll consider you to be my Vice
Perry’s workin’ on the one after 9-9-9

(drinking and/or medication break)

Rick loves to brag ‘bout his creation
The objective? Wealth will rule the nation
That is his bag, Romney clone
Bet your ass, he got the numbers wrong

Cain, I say I’m workin’ on the one after 9-9-9
I say, “Move over Herman, the Presidency is mine”
If you move over once, I will be nice
I’ll consider you to be my Vice
Perry’s workin’ on the one after 9-9
Perry’s workin’ on the one after 9-9
Perry’s workin’ on the one after 9-9-9

Labor Group Exposes Anti-Labor Fearmongering: Priceless!

Recently, the National Labor Relations Board (NLRB) issued a rule which requires private sector employers to post a notice advising employees of their rights under the National Labor Relations Act (NLRA)—rights they’ve had for more than 70 years. Like other notices of workplace laws regarding safety and health, compensation, and discrimination, the poster raises awareness without unduly burdening employers.

The conservative right however, has declared such action to be an attack against the “job creators” the result of which is certain to worsen the unemployment situation. Here are some quotes from conservative groups in response to the new (NLRB) rule:

• “A punitive new rule…” Karen Harned of the National Federation of Independent Business
• “Just when we thought we had seen it all from the NLRB, it has reached new low it its zeal to punish small-business owners.” Harned again
• “This is nothing more than labor regulation run amok,” Robin Conrad of the National; Chamber Litigation Center
• “The National Labor Relations Board is making sure that unemployment remains high in America,” Diana Furchtgott-Roth of the Manhattan Institute
• “The NLRB has…required that employers litter their workplaces with guidelines for unionization,” Gary Shapiro of the Consumer Electronics Association
• “…the NLRB is causing great uncertainty among manufacturers at a time when our economy is struggling to recover,” Jay Timmons of the National Association of Manufacturers
• “It’s unnecessary, needlessly provocative and will only serve to create division rather than cooperation between small-business owners and their employees,” Farrell Quinlan of the National Federation of Independent Busines

Hanging a poster  “constitutes a new zeal to punish small-business owners”? Hanging a poster causes “great uncertainty among manufactuers”? Really? Is their no depth to which the conservative right will not stoop so as to instill unwarranted fear in the American people during a time of economic uncertainty? Nope!

Thankfully, a new video has been released by the pro-labor group known as “American Rights at Work” which reveals the foolish arguments form the ant-labor movement. here it is:

GO PACKERS! BEAT THOSE VIKES TONIGHT!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Strangers In The Night song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hlSbSKNk9f0&feature=related

STRANGE ONES ON THE RIGHT

(sung to the Frank Sinatra song “Strangers In The Night”)

Strange ones on the right,
Fox News romancers
Not so very bright,
With our finances
This Tea Party love
Should be viewed as taboo

Palin shouting lies
And fear inciting
Rand Paul is hostile
And so damn frightening
Boehner has no heart
McConnell has no clue

Strange ones on the right,
Abnormal people
They are strange ones on the right
Not one sane moment
They should be in a freak-show
Little do they know
It would just enhance our day
If like Bristol they’d dance away and –

And on Fox every night,
They’re all together
Lovers on the right
In love forever
It’s an ugly sight
Those strange ones on the right

(Tea-Bagging break)

Don’t look now just glance away
Here comes their jailbird Tom Delay

You can join their fight
And hang together
Only if you’re white
Birds of a feather
Taking their last flight
Those strange ones on the right

Veterans Day: A Brief History

Veterans Day, formerly Armistice Day, is an annual United States holiday honoring military veterans. It is a federal holiday that is observed on November 11. It coincides with other holidays such as Armistice Day or Remembrance Day, which are celebrated in other parts of the world and also mark the anniversary of the signing of the Armistice that ended World War I. (Major hostilities of World War I were formally ended at the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month of 1918 with the German signing of the Armistice.) Congress amended this act on June 1, 1954, replacing “Armistice” with “Veterans,” and it has been known as Veterans Day since and honors all veterans.

Until we post here again, please consider this an open thread.

Simply Stated, Rick Perry Is Too Stupid To Be President

The Republican Presidential field of candidates is fast becoming the most unqualified and ridiculous bunch of coconuts to ever fall out of the tree. Here is what some pundits are saying. “As a Republican, I am panicking”, said Debra Saunders of the San Francisco Chronicle. Philip Klein of the WashingtonExaminer.com says the field is “incredibly weak” and the candidates are variously “uninspiring, unserious, unprepared, dishonest, unreliable, inexperienced, inconsistent or ideologically malleable,” and not one of them “seems up to the task at hand.” George Will of The Washington Post adds, “has conservatism really come so far, surmounting so many obstacles, to settle, at a moment of economic crisis, for this?”

Consider what we have witnessed even before a single primary vote has been cast. The self-described fiscal conservative Newt Gingrich was discovered to have approximately $1 million in credit charges at upscale jeweler Tiffany & Co. while his campaign is simultaneously approximately $1 million in debt. Ron Paul has advocated that people without health insurance should either rely on the charity of friends or die from lack of medical treatment. Mitt Romney continues to flip-flop by changing his positions on issues on a near daily basis and he believes that “corporations are people.” Rick Santorum believes that the certain result of same sex marriages is sex with dogs. Michele Bachmann believes that the HPV vaccination causes mental retardation and she also believes that her crop of uber-conservative GOP rivals are “frugal socialists.” Herman Cain has more sexual harassment charges levied against him than Charlie Sheen and Mel Gibson combined and nobody knows who Jon Huntsman is.

The biggest joke of all however, is Rick Perry. This guy’s ten gallon hat is simply filled with ten gallons of dumb. Take for example, his bizarre stump speech antics last Friday in New Hampshire. His speech was slurred. He made crazy faces. He made odd references. Often times he made no sense at all. It appeared that he was either drunk or overly medicated. It was sad to see a potential Presidential nominee in this condition. It was even more tragic to think that a person such as this could aspire to occupy the highest office in the United States.

Things got even worse at the Republican debate which followed. Perry simply made a fool of himself in front of his GOP opponents, the moderators, the live audience and the television audience. The Texas Governor was asked a question about his tax and spending plan — but completely blew the answer by looking like a complete fool. Perry was listing the three Cabinet agencies he wants to abolish — and forgot the third one. Here is how it transpired:

• Perry:  And I will tell you it is three agencies of government when i get there that are gone. Commerce, Education, and the — what’s the third one there? Let’s see…Okay. Commerce, Education, and the —”
• Romney:  EPA?
• Perry:  EPA, there you go.
• Moderator:  Seriously, is EPA the one you are talking about?
• Perry:  No sir, no, sir. We are talking about the  – agencies of government – EPA needs to be rebuilt.
• Moderator:  You can’t – you can’t name the third one?
• Perry:  The third agency of government I would – I would do away with education, the Commerce…Commerce and, let’s see. I can’t. The third one, I can’t. Sorry. Oops.

Stick a fork in Rick Perry because, like Herman Cain, he is done!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Wonderful World (Don’t Know Much) song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jNO72aCnVr0

RIGHT WING WORLD (DON’T KNOW MUCH)-Rick Perry Version

(sung to the Sam Cooke song “Wonderful World”)

Don’t know much about history
Don’t know much ecology
Don’t know much about that climate change
Don’t know why voters think I am strange

But I do know I have no clue
And my brain cells are so very few
What a right wing world this should be

Don’t have much of an education
I know a lot about procreation
Opposition should have no voice
Pregnant women should have no choice

But i do know one thing that is true
Pilgrims came in 1492
What a right wing world this should be

Now I don’t claim to be be an “A” student
Somethings I’ll never be
But maybe my being a “D” student, baby
Lets me revise history

Don’t know much about history
Don’t believe biology
Don’t know much about a science book
Won’t give climate change a second look

But I do know my time is due
And I’ll be there in 2-0-1-2
What a right wing world this will be

(Ponzi Scheme break)

And I do know you’ll love Rick Perry
The new brain-trust of the Tea Party
What a right wing world this will be

Cain Is Not Able

As usual, we ask that you click on the song link here before reading this blog post so that you may enjoy some very appropriate background music which we now refer to as “Herman’s Theme”.

Part-time Republican Presidential candidate and full-time “player” Herman Cain was forced to hold a press conference last night to address the five (and counting) separate allegations of sexual misconduct which have emerged during the last two weeks. Before a throng of inquisitive media members, he said of all the allegations, “They simply didn’t happen. They simply did not happen.”

Cain’s denials came on the very same day that a fifth woman, Donna Donella emerged with the charge that in 2002, Cain tried to get her to arrange a dinner with a “lovely young lady” in the audience at a speech that he was giving. Additionally, just prior to Cain’s press conference, one of his original accusers revealed her identity. Karen Kraushaar was one of the women who received a settlement payment as the result of her sexual harassment charges and she told CNN that Cain is a “serial denier”. She also said that she would like to hold a joint press conference with all of the other alleged Cain victims so that the public could better understand his misbehavior.

At the abbreviated press conference, Cain was aggressive. He not only denied all of the allegations levied against him, but he also called one of his accusers, Sharon Bialek a liar. On Monday, Bialek said that Cain reached under her skirt and pressed her head toward his crotch when she was visiting him in Washington to get job hunting advice after she had been “terminated” from the National Restaurant Association. Last night Cain described Bialek as a “troubled” woman put up to making false allegations by forces trying to derail his presidential bid. He gave no details however,  as to who believes is behind the scheme except that it might be the amorphous “Democratic machine”. That seems unlikely in that Ms. Bialek has been a long-time registered Republican.

Cain took questions but provided few answers at his press conference. He essentially said that he had no recollection of any of the alleged events ever happening. He attempted to get away with saying that Kraushaar’s complaints had been found to be baseless, but when a reporter asked exactly which court, board or other trier of fact had made that determination, Cain backtracked. He was forced to admit that the victim’s lawyer and the Restaurant Association’s lawyer simply negotiated a monetary settlement to end the matter. When asked by another reporter if he would be willing to take a lie detector test to rebut the multiple claims that he engaged in sexual harassment, Cain said, “Yes. I absolutely would.” Once again however, he quickly backtracked and said, “But I’m not going to do that unless I have a good reason to do that.” It certainly appears that he has a good reason to do that if he wants his campaign to continue.

Cain will have another opportunity to fully address these claims further at the Republican Primary Debate tonight in Michigan. It will be interesting to see if the moderator or one of his GOP opponents brings up the topic. Even if the sexual misconduct subject does not emerge however, Herman Cain has plenty of other problems to address. For example, he will be forced to defend his 9-9-9 tax plan which has been recently exposed for having the effect of decreasing the tax burden on the nation’s super wealthy while increasing the tax burden on approximately 80% of working/middle class Americans. Another topic may be Cain’s spectacular ignorance of military foreign policy. That was revealed last week when, during an interview on PBS’ NewsHour, Cain warned that China has indicated it is “trying to develop nuclear capability.” Unbeknownst to Cain, China has had nuclear weapons since 1964. Cain has also stated that he could imagine a situation in which he would negotiate with terrorists if he were President. His Republican opponents are likely to engage in a pig-pile of criticism over those topics alone.

All in all, one thing has become certain over the last few weeks. Cain is not Able!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Rock You Like A Hurricane song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OI2COawqMJQ

FONDLED BY OL’ HERMAN CAIN

 (sung to the Scorpions song “Rock You Like A Hurricane”)

You had no warning
No time to shout
Now you are shaking
Time to speak out
Herm Cain was purring
And stroking your skin
Something’s gone wrong
He’s done it again
His lips looked hungry
And his breath smelled
What’s with those pinches?
Tell me, pray tell
Cain is a bum
His speech slurred and slow
You want to leave but…
Herm won’t let you go

Here I am, fondled by ol’ Herman Cain
Here I am, fondled by ol’ Herman Cain

Cain says he is yearning
Don’t try to shout
This liar is cunning
There is no doubt
Done this for ages
Plies gals with booze
Tries to get naked
Lets no-one refuse
His fingers crawling
Cain’s a real pro
When Herm is hungry
He runs the show
He’s lickin’ his lips
Now he’s movin’ in
On the hunt tonight
He took off his ring

Here I am, fondled by ol’ Herman Cain
Here I am, fondled by ol’ Herman Cain
Here I am, fondled by ol’ Herman Cain
Here I am, fondled by ol’ Herman Cain

Fondled by ol’ Herman Cain!

(9-9-9 tax break)

It’s Wednesday morning
The truth comes out
Herm Cain is shaking
He’s done no doubt
His deeds recurring
Over again
Campaign’s long gone
In light of his sins
He’s so appalling
The world now knows
Despite his money
He’s a side-show
He’s a sinking ship
Despite all his spin
His wife leaves tonight
It’s over for him

Here I am, fondled by ol’ Herman Cain
Here I am, fondled by ol’ Herman Cain
Here I am, fondled by ol’ Herman Cain
Here I am, fondled by ol’ Herman Cain
Here I am.

Herman Cain’s “Idea Of A Stimulus Package”

"You want a job, right?"

Once again, we ask that you click on the song link here before reading this blog post so that you may enjoy some very appropriate background music.

Things are going from bad to worse for Herman Cain on a near daily basis. As the saying goes, “when it rains it pours” and Herman Cain is now seeking shelter from the storm of his lifetime. It is only a matter of time now before he is forced to mimic John Edwards and withdraw from the race for the Republican Party nomination for President of the United States. With the rare exceptions of President Clinton and David Vitter, things rarely go well for politicians who are faced with allegations of multiple instances of sexual misconduct. See Mark Sanford, Larry Craig, Mark Foley, Bob Packwood (a very suitable name mind you), Joe Scarborough and Arnold Schwarzenegger to name just a few exposed philanderers.

Yesterday, it was revealed that a fourth woman may have been sexually harassed by Herman Cain during his tenure with the National Restaurant Association. Sharon Bialek claims that Cain sexually assaulted her in 1997 and at a press conference with her attorney, Gloria Allred she said that she hopes he will come clean about other allegations of sexual misconduct. CNN reports that Bialek said Cain reached under her skirt and pressed her head toward his crotch when she was visiting Cain in Washington to get job hunting advice after she had been “terminated” from the National Restaurant Association. She said that when she protested, Cain asked, “You want a job, right?” Bialek’s attorney said that when her client sought employment advice, Cain instead provided her with “his idea of a stimulus package.”

Ouch! These are the most detailed descriptions of Cain’s alleged sexual proclivities to date and they are sure to leave a permanent scar. The question now is, who will Cain blame for enticing the woman to take her story public? When it was revealed last week that two former female employees of the National Restaurant Association had received settlement packages from the association as the result of their charges of sexual misconduct, Cain immediately blamed the Rick Perry camp, then the Mitt Romney camp, then a former staffer and finally the liberal media. Who will it be this time?

To add insult to injury, the sexual misconduct charges were not the only problems facing Cain in the last few weeks. His ignorance of foreign relations was exposed last week when, during an interview on PBS’ NewsHour, Cain warned that China has indicated it is “trying to develop nuclear capability.” Unbeknownst to Cain, China has had nuclear weapons since 1964. He has also stated that he could imagine a situation in which he would negotiate with terrorists if he were President.

All of this of course, follows upon Cain’s 9-9-9 tax plan debacle. It did not take long for economists to reveal that although Cain’s tax plan would certainly decrease the tax burden of the nation’s super wealthy, it would also raise taxes on approximately 80% of the population who find themselves in the working/middle class. Even one of the architects of Cain’s plan later said that a 9% national sales tax would scuttle the plan and advocated for its removal. That opened the door for Cain’s challenger Rick Perry to reveal a tax plan of his own. The details of Perry’s plan are sketchy at best but he advocates for a flat 20% tax on everyone. Like Cain’s plan however, the Perry plan guarantees a tax decrease for the wealthy but not for the working/middle class who would only have the option of retaining their present tax rates. consequently, Perry’s tax plan seems just as destined for failure as was Herman Cain’s. The difference is that Perry’s candidacy at least looks as if it may survive a few more weeks.

Ah, Herman Cain we hardly knew ye!

UPDATE: More Suspicions “Aroused”

We have some breaking news this morning. A fifth woman has just come forward and accused Herman Cain of more sexually objective behavior. The Washington Examiner reports that Donna Donella, a then-United States Agency for International Development worker, claims Cain tried to get her to arrange a dinner with a “lovely young lady” in the audience at a speech he gave in 2002. Donella says,

“And after the seminar was over, Cain came over to me and a colleague and said, ‘Could you put me in touch with that lovely young lady who asked the question, so I can give her a more thorough answer over dinner?’”

Donella then went on to elaborate that she and others in the organization were suspicious of cain’s motives and declined to set up the date. Cain responded, “Then you and I can have dinner.” That’s when two female colleagues intervened and suggested they all go to dinner together, Donella said. She added that Cain ordered $400 worth of wine, then skipped out on the check.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

One After 9-0-9 song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TipfIUP1kAE

THE ONE AFTER 9-9-9

 (sung to the Beatles song “One After 9-0-9”)

Rick Perry says he’s workin’ on the one after 9-9-9
He says, “Move over Herman, the best damn tax plan is mine”
He says, “I’ll say this once, take my advice”
“I’ll make sure that the poor pay a price”
Perry’s workin’ on the one after 9-9-9

Cain’s plan has got to go cuz his sales tax is a penalty
Herm loves foolin’ round but never fool around with me
Rick says, “I’ll say this once, take my advice”
“I’ll make sure that the poor pay twice”
Perry’s workin’ on the one after 9-9-9

I love to brag ‘bout my creation
My objective? Wealth will rule the nation
That is my bag, mine alone
I hope I ain’t,  got the numbers wrong

Cain, I say I’m workin’ on the one after 9-9-9
I say, “Move over Herman, the Presidency is mine”
If you move over once, I will be nice
I’ll consider you to be my Vice
Perry’s workin’ on the one after 9-9-9

(drinking and/or medication break)

Rick loves to brag ‘bout his creation
The objective? Wealth will rule the nation
That is his bag, Romney clone
Bet your ass, he got the numbers wrong

Cain, I say I’m workin’ on the one after 9-9-9
I say, “Move over Herman, the Presidency is mine”
If you move over once, I will be nice
I’ll consider you to be my Vice
Perry’s workin’ on the one after 9-9
Perry’s workin’ on the one after 9-9
Perry’s workin’ on the one after 9-9-9