Monthly Archives: May 2011
Newsweek’s Todd “First Dude” Palin Fluff Piece
Last week Newsweek magazine released a fluff piece about Sarah Palin’s husband titled “The Model Political Spouse – Todd Palin Can Handle Another Campaign. Friends Hope He Won’t Have To Prove It.” The article was so lacking in substance that it would have been more fitting in People or US Weekly.
The author, Zev Chafets, provided approximately one and a half pages of a description of a lunch and visit with Todd Palin’s father, Jim Palin. The only thing we learned about the senior Palin was that he had never eaten calamri, he is retired, and he does not like to discuss daughter-in-law Sarah Palin’s political career. The only noteworthy tidbit gleamed from the author’s visit with Jim Palin was that the the former ex-quitting half-term governor’s household yard looks the way we would expect it to look. He wrote, “The Palins’ yard is strewn with five snowmobiles, half a dozen dusty trucks, several small aluminum boats, a couple of airplane floats, a trampoline, and a little plastic basketball hoop. ” Did we really expect anything different from the Wasilla Hillbillies?
The article also contained brief portions of the author’s conversation with one of Todd’s friends. Martin Buser the Iditarod racer hopes that, for Todd’s sake, Sarah palin does not seek the Republican nomination for president. Buser said, “He’s secure enough to have a successful woman; he’d be fine with the limelight Sarah would get as president. But would he suffer, shut up indoors at the White House? Absolutely he would.” Sort of like describing how a koala bear loses it s essence for life while being caged-up at the zoo. Buser went on to describe the type of individuals that impress Todd. He said, “We met a lot of important people, but it takes somebody real accomplished to impress a guy like Todd, an athlete at the top of his game who has won so often on his own terms.” Apparently in Buser’s opinion only accomplished athletes impress Todd. Forget about great intellects or those those folks folks who have bettered the world with great humanitarian accomplishments. Jeesh, with friends like Martin Buser, does Todd need any enemies?
Chafets’ article was most disappointing however, for its failure to critique Todd Palin in any meaningful way. For instance, there was no mention of the fact that for 7 years (1995-2002) Palin was registered as a member of the Alaskan Independence Party which has a goal of having the state of Alaska secede from the United States of America. The article also failed to mention that on October 10, 2008, Todd Palin was cited in special investigator Stephen Branchflower’s report to the Alaskan Legislative Council. One of Branchflower’s four main findings was that Governor Sarah Palin violated Alaska’s Ethics Act when she “wrongfully permitted Todd Palin to use the governor’s office…to continue to contact subordinate state employees in an effort to find some way to get her former brother-in-law, State Trooper Mike Wooten fired.” Finally, why no mention of the published reports that Todd was a frequent recipient of massages and possibly more from an Alaskan prostitute?
You would think after reading this fluff piece that Newsweek magazine was actually a Todd “First Dude” Palin fanzine.
Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more singing along with today’s topical, song parody. Please enjoy!
“Ruby, Don’t Take Your Love To Town” song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jeAbgBPP_N4&feature=related
FIRST DUDE, DON’T TAKE YOUR LOVE TO TOWN
(sung to the Kenny Rogers song “Ruby, Don’t Take Your Love To Town”)
You’ve pulled on your mukluks
And combed and gelled your graying hair
First Dude are you contemplating
Leaving Mama Bear
I bought that blow-up doll
For you so you could fool around
Oh First Dude
Don’t take your love to town
Oh was it me
Who drove you to that massage table whore?
While I was making dough
Talking ‘bout patriotic wars
And yes, it’s true that
I’m not the wife I used to be
Oh, First Dude, you still know I’m “mavericky”
It’s hard to love a wife
Who breeds dissent and always lies
But the wants and the needs of a woman my age
Just cannot be denied
And it won’t be long I’ve heard them say until I’m not around
Oh First Dude
Don’t take your love to town
Todd’s leaving now cause
I just heard the slamming of the door
But frankly I don’t give a damn
If he’s on a sex tour
Still I just might move to get my gun
And put him in the ground
Oh First Dude
Don’t take your love to town
Oh First Dude
For my sake turn around
Memorial Day Observance
In honor of Memorial Day there will be no substantive Lynnrockets” Blast-Off post today. Please use the time that you might normally devote to reading this blog to pay observance to those men and women who died while serving in our military. You might also take the opportunity to honor those family members and close friends who have left us.
Lynnrockets’ Blast-Off will return to its regularly scheduled shenanigans tomorrow.
Newt Blingrich Strikes Again!
First it was MedicareGate when Newt Gingrich was lambasted by Republicans nationwide when he stated that Paul Ryan’s (R-WI) Medicare Destruction Bill was an undesirable form of “right-wing social engineering”. Now it is TiffanyGate since it was discovered that Gingrich had charged as much as half a million dollars for jewelry at Tiffany & Co. Suffice to say, Gingrich’s fledgling Republican presidential campaign has not had a very good week.
It is not as if Gingrich did not already have plenty of problems. He is of course, the disgraced former Republican Speaker of the House that was forced out of leadership and his Congressional seat by his own party. He is also a serial philanderer. He has been married three times so far. In 1962, he married Jackie Battley, his former high school geometry teacher. In the spring of 1980, Gingrich left Battley after having an affair with Marianne Ginther. According to Battley, Gingrich visited her while she was in the hospital recovering from cancer surgery to discuss divorce. Six months after the divorce was final, Gingrich wed Marianne Ginther in 1981. In the mid-1990s, Gingrich began an affair with House of Representatives staffer Callista Bisek, who is 23 years his junior. They continued their affair during the Clinton/Lewinsky scandal, when Gingrich as a leader of the Republican investigation of President Clinton for perjury in connection with his alleged affairs with Paula Jones and Monica Lewinsky, hypocritically called for the president’s impeachment. In 2000, Gingrich married Bisek shortly after his divorce from second wife Ginther. Gingrich converted to Catholicism in 2009 but many divorced Catholics are also upset with him as the result of his breaking of church doctrine by marrying after a divorce.
Now this Tiffany story is growing many troublesome legs. First of all, the average working-class American whom Gingrich claims to identify with does not have a home worth $ 500,000.00 let alone that type of jewelry. Gingrich claims that he lives frugally but the average American will not consider such large expenditures on luxury items as frugal behavior. To be a fiscal conservative is not be an excessive collector of bling.
Now TiffanyGate has taken on another interesting twist. The Spy Talk blog reports that at the same time that Tiffany & Co. was extending an interest-free line of credit to Newt Gingrich’s wife, Callista, the big-name jeweler was spending major money trying to influence the congressional committee where she worked. “Tiffany’s annual lobbying expenditures rose from about $100,000 to $360,000 between 2005 and 2009, according to records assembled by the Center for Responsive Politics, a nonpartisan government watchdog organization,” Spy Talk’s Jeff Stein wrote. Can you say “conflict of interest”?
Is that the proverbial fat lady who I can hearing singing?
Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.
Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZqXmBy1_qOQ
NEWT, HE HAS AN EYE FOR DIAMONDS
(sung to the Beatles song “Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds”)
Picture Gingrich with a ring on his finger
It sparkles and gleams and it’s supersized
Newt claims to be frugal, he claims to be holy
A Catholic with so many wives
Emerald bracelets so shiny and green
Coaxing a woman to bed
But when a new lassie catches Newt’s sly eye
She’ll be gone!
Newt, he has an eye for diamonds
Newt, he has an eye for diamonds
Newt, he has an eye for diamonds, ah
Newt collects wives by the bunch, are you countin’
With Tiffany bling on account which he buys
Gingrich just smiles as he shops there for hours
His bills are incredibly high
Millionaire tax cuts help Gingrich for sure
That‘s the Republican way
Gingrich won’t mix with the working-class crowd
They’re his pawns!
Newt, he has an eye for diamonds
Newt, he has an eye for diamonds
Newt, he has an eye for diamonds, ah
Thinks of himself as the brain of our nation
He’ll secure our borders and safeguard our skies
Nevertheless Newt’s destined for the junk-pile
Our nation hates wife-cheating guys!
Newt, he has an eye for diamonds
Newt, he has an eye for diamonds
Newt, he has an eye for diamonds, ah
Newt, he has an eye for diamonds
Newt, he has an eye for diamonds
Newt, he has an eye for diamonds, ah
Newt, he has an eye for diamonds
Newt, he has an eye for diamonds
Newt, he has an eye for diamonds, ah
Newt, he has an eye for diamonds
Newt, he has an eye for diamonds
(repeat to fade)
The Boston Bruins Are Now America’s Team!!!
By the way, this is why girls should not be hockey analysts…
Palin’s On The Road Again
Is the Granny Grifter off and running? Could be. On Tuesday we learned of her feature-length propaganda film. Now, just yesterday we learned of her nationwide tour, beginning this weekend in the nation’s capital and taking her to a series of cities along the East Coast and ending in the first primary state, New Hampshire.
Sarah Palin said, “As we look to the future, we are propelled by America’s past. It’s imperative that we connect with our founders, our patriots, our challenges and victories to clearly see our way forward. A good way to do this is to appreciate the significance of our nation’s historic sites, patriotic events and diverse cultures, which we’ll do in the coming weeks on our ‘One Nation’ tour. ” As usual however, the former ex-quitting half-term governor’s statement provided nothing in the realm of actual policy positions or plans.
It is this scribe’s opinion that Palin will not actually run for the Presidency. Her tabloid lifestyle, abrasive personality, safety school education, inability to coherently articulate her policy positions and outright lying make her an undesirable candidate. Adding all of that to the fact that she is persona non grata within the Republican Party and would be a laughing-stock at GOP primary debates, means that Sarah Palin is simply unelectable.
This nationwide tour may simply prove to be Palin’s “last hurrah”. Time is running out on her stalling to make a definitive decision about launching an election campaign and she knows it. The drop-dead time by which a candidate can commence a viable campaign is June or July of this year and Palin is using this charade of a publicity stunt in an attempt to stay relevant and marketable until her inevitable decision to fold. Her 15 minutes are nearly over.
In honor of the troops, please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the song parody.
On The Road Again song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1TD_pSeNelU
ON THE ROAD AGAIN
(sung to the Willie Nelson song “On The Road Again”)
On the road again –
Sarah can’t wait to get on the road again
The life she loves is taking money from her friends
Palin can’t wait to get on the road again
On the road again –
Goin’ places that she’s never been
Palin thinks that she’s campaigning once again
So she’s stealing dough from all her brain-dead friends
On the road again –
Like a band of gypsies, Palins ride the highways
Grifting never ends
Persisting like a plague that’s coming our way, yes our way
On the road again –
She says its great to just “reload” again
Good Lord above will Palin’s grifting never end?
Sarah can’t wait to get on the road again
(Fox News love-in break)
On the road again –
Just those Palin pip-squeaks always talking sideways
Every word offends
Insisting that the world keep turning their way, yes their way
She’s on the road again –
Palin can’t wait to get on the road again
The life she loves is taking money from her friends
And she can’t wait to get on the road again
And she can’t wait to get on the road again
Scott “Flip-Flop” Brown Doubles Down
What is it with Massachusetts Republicans and their propensity to repeatedly switch positions on issues of political import? Inasmuch as the Bay State is situated on the stormy New England coast there are meteorological winds aplenty, but it is the winds of public opinion which effect members of the GOP.
The best example of a flip-flopping Massachusetts Republican of course, is former Governor Mitt Romney. In October 2002, while campaigning for governor of Massachusetts, Mitt Romney said he would “preserve and protect” a woman’s right to choose. He now describes himself as an abortion opponent. In a 1994 letter to the Log Cabin Republicans, who advocate gay rights, he said he was in favor of “gays and lesbians being able to serve openly and honestly” in the military. He now says it is a mistake to interfere with the “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy. While campaigning for the Senate in 1994, he said he favored strong gun laws and did not “line up with the NRA.” He then joined the National Rifle Association in 2006 while pondering a presidential run, and he praised the group for “doing good things” and “supporting the right to bear arms.” In a November 2005 interview with The Boston Globe, he described an immigration overhaul advanced by John McCain as “reasonable.” While running against McCain in 2008 he denounced it as an “amnesty plan.” Of course most notable of all his reversals, Romney pioneered a universal health care overhaul while Governor of Massachusetts which includes a personal mandate for residents to purchase health insurance, yet he now opposes the national health care law which is a virtual mirror image of his own law.
Not to be out flip-flopped by his elder however, there is the clothing-challenged Scott Brown. The junior Republican senator from Massachusetts voted in favor of a carbon cap and trade law while a state legislator but now opposes all manner of cap and trade legislation at the federal level. Also, while a Massachusetts state legislator, Scott Brown voted in favor of the very same personal mandate universal health plan which Governor Romney signed into law. When elected as a US Senator in 2010 however, Brown said, “I’ll be the 41st vote, not the 60th vote” when describing his opposition to the federal health care law which was virtually identical to the Massachusetts law which he supported.
Scott Brown is not finished just yet however. His most recent bout of “I Was For It Before I Was Against It” disease just won’t seem to fade away. While commenting last week upon Teapublican Rep. Paul Ryan’s draconian budget plan which includes the elimination of the Medicare program for the elderly, Brown said,
“The leaders will bring forward (Budget Committee Chairman Paul Ryan’s) budget, and I will vote for it, and it will fail.”
Two days later, after having heard a boatload of negative reaction from his constituents, Brown hedged his bet a little. His spokesman Colin Reed hastily released a clarifying statement which stated,
“Senator Scott Brown will not disclose whether he supports a GOP budget plan that includes sweeping changes to Medicare, despite saying to a business group last week that he will vote for the measure when it comes up in the US Senate….”
OK then, so Scott Brown elected at this point to refuse to state whether he agrees or disagrees with his first promise to vote in favor of the elimination of the Medicare program. He essentially elected to keep his constituents in the dark until he casts his actual vote on the bill.
Next, a few days after that non-clarification, Scott brown appeared as a guest on a local Boston radio program and this is what transpired:
appeared on a local Boston talk radio program Wednesday and here is what transpired:
Radio Host: This specific proposal, the Ryan proposal to privatize Medicare, if it came up, does it have your support or it doesn’t?
Brown: First of all, it’s very difficult to get into hypotheticals because it’s not coming up, but the way that the Medicare and Medicaid proposals and a lot of other proposals in that bill are right now, no, I can’t support it, and I’ve made that very clear.
At this point, Senate Democrats, realizing that the Ryan plan and its Medicare destruction feature is so unpopular with the American public, have elected to hold a vote on the bill so as to force Republican politicians to publicly show their hands and commit on the issue. CNN reports, “This vote will be a lose-lose for Republicans because there will be enough ‘yes’ votes to affirm that ending Medicare is the official party position, but enough ‘no’ votes to that even some Republicans think it is too extreme and are heading for the hills politically,” said a senior Democratic leadership aide.
So, what does Scott Brown say about the upcoming vote? He posted an article on Politico.com yesterday in which he said,
“While I applaud Ryan for getting the conversation started, I cannot support his specific plan — and therefore will vote ‘no’ on his budget.”
“I fear that as health inflation rises, the cost of private plans will outgrow the government premium support- and the elderly will be forced to pay ever higher deductibles and co-pays. Protecting those who have been counting on the current system their entire adult lives should be the key principle of reform,”
“I do not think it (i.e. Medicare reform) requires us to change Medicare as we know it.” Parenthesis added.
Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.
Send In The Clowns song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EGekq3Jt5Go
THIS IS SCOTT BROWN
(sung to the Judy Collins song “Send In The Clowns”)
Claims he’s not rich
Poses while bare
Drives an old truck around town
Mitt Romney hair
This is Scott Brown
And with a kiss
Scott does approve
Of tearing Medicare down
He is a boob
This is Scott Brown
Yes. It’s Scott Brown
Made many stops on his book tour
But he refuses to reveal his child molester
Though he may molest again, Scott Brown does not care
Turns a blind eye
Brown does not care
Scott Brown’s a farce
His end is near
He’s not what the Tea Party wants…
Sorry, Scott dear!
He is just a clown
So Mr. Brown
Don’t bother next year
(flip-flopping break)
Isn’t it rich?
Sometime next year
He will be unemployed late in his career
Yes, so long Scott Brown
We’re done with Scott Brown
Let’s stand up and cheer.
Palin To Arizona To US Senate… Hmmm
Julie Driscoll of Examiner.com has written a very interesting piece.
She speculates that Sarah Palin may have recently purchased a new home in Arizona. By the way, what is it with the Palins and Arizona? First, Sarah Palin ran on the same presidential ticket as an Arizona senator. Next, her sniper-sighted advertisement was associated with the shooting of Arizona Rep. Gabrielle Giffords. Not too long thereafter, we were told that former unwed teen mother Bristol Palin had purchased a home in Arizona where she would live while pursuing her college degree at Arizona State University. That whole story proved to be a false alarm of course, when Bristol announced last month that she was moving to Los Angeles to share an apartment with two men while filming (what else but) a reality television series. Now it’s Sarah Palin to Arizona? What gives?
The house in question is described as an “8,000-square-foot, dark-brown stucco home with a guard gate that can keep unwanted visitors away. It has six bedrooms, five bathrooms, a six-car garage, a swimming pool and spa, and a full basement with a home theater, billiards room and wine cellar. Safari Investments LLC paid $1.695 million cash for the home in a deal that appears designed to cloak the identity of a high-profile buyer.” Driscoll says that the “high profile buyer” is rumored to be none other than the former ex-quitting half-term governor of Alaska.
Reason for the change of locale? Driscoll opines that it is so Sarah Palin can run for the US Senate seat being vacated by fellow liar and Republican John Kyl. Kyl you might remember, is the guy who lied on the Senate floor when he said that that 90% of Planned Parenthood services were abortion-related, when in fact, the actual number is 3%. Palin of course, lies about everything from saying “Thanks, but no thanks” to that bridge to nowhere, to suggesting to Katie Couric that she was involved in trade missions with Russia, to proclaiming that the Democratic Party health care reform law included “death panels”. Hence, an Arizona senate seat is the perfect place for a liar.
So what will it be? A run for the presidency? A run for an Arizona senate seat? Or neither? Please do tell, Sarah. Enquiring minds want to know.
In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.
Born To Run song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9wgnTU31z7s
BORN TO RUN
(sung to the Bruce Springsteen song “Born To Run”)
In the day she sweats it out on the streets, she’s a runner-up beauty pageant queen
At night she tears her hair out in worry atop Todd’s snow-machine
Hate filled rages at the five and dime
High heeled, misdirected and sporting a sixties beehive, Whoa
Wasilla town hopes she never comes back
She’s a dumb quack, a political hack
Sarah speaketh with a forked tongue
But tramps like her, baby they were born to run
(yes she will run)
Sarah’s got thin skin but she’ll run again
She can’t find work on television
SarahPAC will cater to her whims
Their dedicated to her mission
Together they will dish out crap
She’ll run till she drops, maybe from a heart attack, Whoa
All her friends, she’ll continue to hire
‘cause baby she wants to be the next “Decider”
But her wagon has lost all its wheels
She behaves like a little child girl, a pitbull refusing to heel
(full of baloney)
(Twitter break)
She’s filled with malice right down to the bones buried in her backyard
She casts no reflection in brand new mirrors
Like a vampire caught off guard
Her unfeeling heart, rises cold and dark
A dominatrix with an iron fist
She’s gonna try to befriend thee in the deep dark night
With a wink and a blown kiss, Huhh
(Facebook break)
(one two three four…)
She’s got a bunch of Fox News zeroes that fuel her hopes and drive
Sarah Palin likes you if you are white and have no use for gay pride
Every Wednesday she will give an address
That will reveal all the madness in her soul, Whoa
Someday girl, we don’t know when, you’ll learn that you’re a disgrace
Something we already know, her career will be done
But till then just like puss, Sarah will return to run
Oh, Sarah just like puss, baby we hope that you run
Please believe me, all of us baby, sure hope that you will run
Bruins Win!!! Bruins Win!!! Bruins Win!!!
Congratulations to the Boston Bruins for their nail-biting win in Game 5 of the Eastern Conference Finals against the Tampa Bay Lightning. The Bruins defeated the lightning by a score of 3 to 1 and now lead the best of seven series by 3 games to 2. The highlight of the game was the save of the year by Bruins goalie Tim Thomas who was the first star of the game.