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Childish Michelle Malkin Has A Meltdown

Why does Fox News consistently avoid utilizing mature adults as guests on its programs? It is understood that the number of legitimate and serious conservative pundits is extremely limited, but Fox News seems to revel in giving airtime to child-like whiners. Consider the number of times that Sean Hannity and Bill O’Reilly have hosted the likes of Sarah Palin, Ann Coulter and Donald Trump rather than George F. Will or Peggy Noonan.

Wednesday night was a perfect example of Fox‘s studio serving as a psuedo-televised day-care for what appeared to be an over-tired and cranky guest. This time the bratty baby du jour was conservative blogger Michelle Malkin. She and Juan Williams were guests on the Hannity program and the topic was the alleged leaking of information from the Obama administration regarding proposed cyber attacks on Iran’s nuclear facilities.

Setting aside the actual content of the subject and debate between Williams and Malkin (and her cheerleader Sean Hannity), it was entertaining (and disturbing) to witness the histrionics of Michelle Malkin. She was so overly concerned with attacking her debate opponent that she resorted to making faces, eye-rolling, sneering and huffing. Most entertaining was her kindergarten-like schoolyard repetitive mocking of Williams when she exclaimed, “All you can do, Juan, is say, ‘Plame, Plame, Plame’ and ‘blame, blame, blame, Bush, Bush, Bush!” She also went on a childish name-calling tantrum when she said, “The American people are sick of the kind of snotty condescension from liberal elite journalists like Juan Williams.” But as they say, “a video is worth a thousand words”, so let’s enjoy the show:

It is people like Michelle Malkin that make blogging so fun for so many of us.

Please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along to today’s song parody.

The Monster Mash song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FeZftK2kO6U

THE MALKIN MASH

(sung to the Bobby “Boris” Pickett song “Monster Mash”)

She was mouthing off with gab late one night
Malkin’s strange visage, an eerie sight
My blood pressure and pulse both began to rise
What’s up with that weird lazy eye?

She’s talkin’ trash
She did the Malkin mash
The Malkin mash
I think she has a rash
She does the mash
She must be smokin’ hash
She does the mash
She did the Malkin mash

She was ruminating on Obama’s speech
When her logic and her brains went to the beach
We knew she was lying by her growing nose
Inside her skull, a mighty wind blows

She’s talkin’ trash
She did the Malkin mash
The Malkin mash
I think she has a rash
She does the mash
She must be smokin’ hash
She does the mash
She did the Malkin mash

Dear Malkin was having fun
Her air-time had just begun
It was quite apparent that
Michelle had come undone

The show was rockin’ with her babbling sounds
Michelle spewing sentences without nouns
There were blood-shot lines in her crazy ass eyes
One thing missing was the strait-jacket guys

She’s talkin’ trash
She did the Malkin mash
The Malkin mash
I think she has a rash
She does the mash
She must be smokin’ hash
She does the mash
She did the Malkin mash

Out from the closet came the Coulter thing
He was wearing his decoder ring
Waving it round because he was pissed
Have you ever seen so much hair on anybody’s fist?

She’s talkin’ trash
She did the Malkin mash
The Malkin mash
I think she has a rash
She does the mash
She must be smokin’ hash
She does the mash
She did the Malkin mash

Now everything’s cool, Coulter hid his big hand
And Malkin’s diatribe was critically panned
It was one giant laugh if it was viewed
Next time we see that jerk, she is sure to be booed.

She’s talkin’ trash
She did the Malkin mash
The Malkin mash
I think she has a rash
She does the mash
She must be smokin’ hash
She does the mash
She did the Malkin mash

Study Proves That Fox News Makes You Stupid

As if you did not already know, please be advised that watching Fox News makes you stupid. Indeed, the most recent (of many) studies reveals that watching Fox News actually makes you less informed than watching no news at all.  Repeat: People who watch no news at all are better informed than those who watch Fox News. Anyone surprised?

Business Insider reports that Fairleigh Dickinson University’s newest PublicMind survey found that someone who watched only Fox News would be expected to answer 1.04 domestic questions correctly compared to 1.22 for those who watched no news at all. Those watching only “The Daily Show with Jon Stewart”answered 1.42 questions correctly and people who only listened to NPR or only watched Sunday morning political talk shows answered 1.51 questions correctly.

news
Thus, those who watched no news—answering questions by guessing or relying on existing knowledge—fared much better than those who watched the most popular 24-hour cable news network (i.e. Fox News). This is a follow-up to a 2011 survey of 612 New Jerseyans that found, among other things, that those who watched Fox News were 18 points less likely to know that Egyptians overthrew their government than those who watch no news at all.
Here is a partial list of confirmed misinformation which Fox News has fed to its viewers courtesy of PolitiFact.com:
  1. Fox said less than 10% of Obama’s Cabinet appointees have worked in the private sector. – False
  2. Fox said, White House Political Director served as right-hand man to the ACORN chief – False
  3. Fox said Texas Board of Education may eliminate  references to Christmas and the Constitution from textbooks – False
  4. Fox said Health Care Reform is a govt. takeover of health care – False and the PolitiFact 2010 “Lie of the Year”
  5. Fox said the Muslim Brotherhood has openly stated that they want to  declare  war on Israel – False
  6. Fox said American troops have never been under the formal control of another nation – False
  7. Fox said Gov. Rick Scott’s approval ratings have climbed since election – False
  8. Fox said Massachusetts’ health care plan is wildly unpopular among state residents – False
  9. Fox said there’s been more debt under Obama than all other presidents combined – False
  10. Fox said Health care bill includes death panels – False and the PolitiFact  2009 “Lie of the Year”
  11. Fox said  “Cash For Clunkers” will give govt. complete access to your home computer – False
  12. Fox said halting Gulf drilling costs $8 Billion a day in imports – False
  13. Fox said Democrats plan largest tax increase in history – False
  14. Fox said Eric Holder was involved in the dismissal of criminal charges against New Black panthers – False
  15. Fox said Obama voted “present” in the U.S. Senate quite often – False
  16. Fox said John Holdren proposed forced abortions and putting sterilants in drinking water – False
  17. Fox said labor union president Andy Stern is most frequent visitor at white house – False
  18. Fox said America is the only country with automatic citizenship upon birth – False
  19. Fox said Bill O’Reilly never called George tiller a baby killer only reporting what others called him – False
  20. Fox said only fox news picked up that Anita Dunn said Mao was one of her favorite philosophers – False and
  21. Fox said nobody at Fox news ever said you’re going to jail if you don’t buy health insurance – False

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

“Strange Brew” song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_NholHANoY

STRANGE CREW

(sung to the Cream song “Strange Brew”)

Strange crew
They’ve got there at Fox News

Does that Sean Hannity have a new hairdo?
And will Bill O’Reilly go back on “The View”
No clue
And what will Glenn Beck do?

Strange crew
They’ve got there at Fox News

There’s a long-faced sullen man that’s named Brit Hume
And a blonde-haired guy named Ann Coulter, too
Pee-you
That’s just to name a few

Strange crew
They’ve got there at Fox News

(Misinformation break)

They have a dumb Alaskan known as Sarah P.
And a weekend wimp named Mike Huckabee
Good Lord
Could they be more abhorred?

Strange crew
They’ve got there at Fox News

Strange crew, strange crew
Strange crew, strange crew

Strange crew
They’ve got there at Fox News

Fox News: People Making Over $ 250,000 Are Not Rich, But Maids Making $ 60,000 Are Rich

Today is another one of those days where somebody else says something so much better than I could. In a wonderfully explanatory column, Mark Engler of DissentMagazine.org exposes another Fox News hypocrisy. The column is titled, “Why The $ 60,000 Per Year Housekeeper Is A Right-Wing Nightmare” and it reveals how Fox News commentators and guests will do everything in their power to idolize the rich and demonize those in the working class. Following is this column and please visit Dissent Magazine here for other great reads.

Why the $60,000 Per Year Housekeeper Is a Right-Wing Nightmare

Mark Engler – February 21, 2012 10:00 am

Conservatives these days walk a tricky line when it comes to wages. On the one hand, they strive to defend the just earnings of capitalist lords of enterprise. On the other, they try hard to foster resentment of any working people who might actually enjoy living wages and decent benefits. In a nutshell: while Wall Street bankers deserve every penny they get, public school teachers—to take just one example—are overpaid mooches who are leeching off society.

The latest hubbub illustrating this strange double standard came after the New York Times reported on a new contract between the New York Hotel Trades Council (UNITE HERE Local 6), representing city hotel workers, and the Hotel Association of New York, representing hotel owners. Over the course of a seven-year contract, hotel housekeepers will have received (cumulatively) a 29 percent raise, with a typical worker going from making around $46,000 per year to earning almost $60,000 per year. The contract also includes good union health insurance and other benefits.

It is a great contract, and members of the union should be congratulated for their work in securing it. But for some conservatives, the idea that a lowly hotel maid could possibly be paid $60,000 is an abomination. Fox News analysts called it a “nightmare.”

There’s plenty to say about their disgust. The first thing to note is the sheer hypocrisy of the right-wing revulsion. Back when we were debating the expiration of the Bush tax cuts, conservatives repeatedly rallied to assert that those making $250,000 per year were not at all rich. Among other absurdities, their apologetics produced the audacious spectacle of a University of Chicago professor with a household income of more than $450,000 per year complaining about how he is just barely getting by, noting that he and his wife “occasionally eat out but with a baby sitter, these nights take a toll on our budget.”

Fox News types worked overtime to back up such sob stories from those they dubbed the “so-called rich.” On the very same program where the right-wingers decried hotel workers’ $60,000 pay as a “nightmare” (Varney & Co.), analyst Chris Cotter previously asserted that, if you’re “in New York or San Francisco,” living on $250,000 is “very, very tough.”

It’s interesting to look a little more at what’s behind this contradiction. The conservatives aren’t really basing their criticism on the idea that New York City hotel rooms are overpriced. To do so would involve examining the price of a room and determining why it costs what it does. You’d have to figure out what percentage of the room rate goes to the workers who actually keep the hotel running, how much to executive compensation, how much to corporate profits, and so forth. Going down that road could lead to some uncomfortable questions, so they avoid it.

Nor are they standing up for the hotel owners, arguing that the new contract violates some tenet of capitalism. It doesn’t. The agreement was a product of employees collectively negotiating with their employers in fair market fashion. There are no government “handouts” here, no idle slackers who are not working for a living. In fact, according to the Times, the hotel owners’ association is very pleased with the contract: “In a constructive and cooperative spirit, we were able to reach this early agreement, which is good for our members, the union, and the city of New York,” association president Joseph E. Spinnato said.

So what’s the conservative objection really about? It comes down to their opinion of what a hotel housekeeper is worth. It’s a matter of principle: heaven forbid that a maid should have decent health insurance and make a living wage—even if that wage is a fraction of what elites themselves have a “very, very tough” time making due with.

I have a dog in this fight. In addition to being generally pro-labor, several family members of mine work with the hotel, casino, and restaurant employees union (although not the local in question). For this reason, I’m thankful to Nathan Newman for his fine Huffington Post commentary, “Why Shouldn’t Housekeepers Make $60,000 Per Year?”

Newman gives some important context. How, he asks, did we get “to the point that it is a bit ‘shocking’ in some sense that workers in what is seen as a low-wage industry are making a living wage?” He answers:

The disappearance of good working class jobs is the flip side of the anger many feel at income of the richest 1% exploding—that group had a 275 percent “raise” in income between [1979 and 2007] according to the Congressional Budget Office (CBO). The problem is not that the wealthy are getting wealthier, but that they seem to do so at the expense of everyone else seeing wages drop and benefits like health care and pensions disappear.Which is what makes the story of $60,000 housekeepers such an anomaly in the news. When Local 6, which represents New York City hotel workers, was founded back in 1938, they were actually just a latecomer to a wave of union drives that raised wages and brought labor rights to the workplace for previously low-wage workers in the auto industry, steel, telephone, garment and range of other industries.

But many of those jobs have disappeared to either globalization or technology and, except for a smaller group of high-paying professional service jobs, the decline of union strength has meant many new service jobs pay less than needed to raise a family.

So why do we have $60,000 per year housekeepers in New York City?

Well, you can’t outsource cleaning a room to China and so far no robot can make a bed as well as a human being, so hotel workers have escaped the job destroying forces sweeping other industries.

But you don’t have $60,000 housekeepers in most places in the United States or anything approach it except in a handful of cities like San Francisco and Las Vegas, so the answer goes beyond technological determinism.

The answer is hard-fought organizing by the hotel workers themselves in New York City and the supportive pro-union sentiment of other residents in the city, what was once unapologetically called “solidarity” in this country before the term seemed to get reserved by the elite for only talking about supporting workers in Poland.

Newman goes on to make solid points about the importance of union density and about the labor movement’s role in fighting inequality in America.

At the outset of this post, I framed the right-wing stance on wages as something of a curious contradiction. But actually, this whole thing is not all that complicated. Stripped down, it’s just class warfare, waged by the rich. Unless we have institutions that can repel the assault and advance the interests of working people, our democratic society as a whole stands to suffer.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

“Strange Brew” song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_NholHANoY

STRANGE CREW

(sung to the Cream song “Strange Brew”)

Strange crew
They’ve got there at Fox News

Does that Sean Hannity have a new hairdo?
And will Bill O’Reilly go back on “The View”
No clue
And what will Glenn Beck do?

Strange crew
They’ve got there at Fox News

There’s a long-faced sullen man that’s named Brit Hume
And a blonde-haired guy named Ann Coulter, too
Pee-you
That’s just to name a few

Strange crew
They’ve got there at Fox News

(Misinformation break)

They have a dumb Alaskan known as Sarah P.
And a weekend wimp named Mike Huckabee
Good Lord
Could they be more abhorred?

Strange crew
They’ve got there at Fox News

Strange crew, strange crew
Strange crew, strange crew

Strange crew
They’ve got there at Fox News

Hey, Did You Hear What (fill in name of conservative pundit here) Said This Week?

Sean Hanitty (Fox News): The elimination of Osama bin Laden “wouldn’t have happened if he (President Barack Obama) had his way”;

Ann Coulter: At CPAC she said, “Voters with forty years of politically correct education are ecstatic to have the first black president. They just love the idea even if we did get Flavor Flav instead of Thomas Sowell.”;

Liz Trotta (Fox News): While commenting on the recent Pentagon report which reveals that there has been a 64% increase in violent sexual assaults in the military, Trotta said, “Well, what did they expect? These people are in close contact…That’s funny, I thought the mission of the armed forces was to defend and protect us, not the people who were fighting the war.”;

Fox Business Network: Sometimes actions speak louder than words. Such is the case with the Fox Business Network who’s executives responded to poor ratings by firing its entire prime-time lineup and replacing them with re-runs of other programs;

Charles Gasparino (Fox News): Referred to the recently announced $26 billion foreclosure malfeasance settlement as a “deadbeat bailout”;

Laura Ingraham (Radio): “Don’t you love it when people come to CPAC and they don’t really have access to conservatives? And I’m not talking about Governor Romney by the way.”;

Bill O’Reilly (Fox News): “Can you make fun of a gay person in this country? Can you just make a joke about a gay person? … Can you mock a gay person and your organization, other organizations — would you be OK with that if it’s just done in a casual, allegedly humorous way?”;

Glenn Beck (Radio): “I want to talk a little bit about the parallels between the Obama administration and the FDR administration as it comes into play with communists. We have Marxists, Maoists, communists in and around the White House influencing and actually working with [it]. We had that with FDR. Both denied it at the time.”

Sarah Palin (Fox News): “That glowing enthusiasm isn’t there yet. I believe a lot of that is in part the idea that it’s a foregone conclusion that Mitt Romney will be the GOP pick. He certainly has the establishment support and much of the media support. I also believe that he is the one that President Obama would love to debate and to run against in November.”;

Rush Limbaugh (Radio): “…as I’ve been saying the past couple of weeks, if you’re looking for a conservative who is the least corrupted, who has the least number of periods of wandering off the reservation, if you’re looking for a conservative who’s never sat down with Nancy Pelosi on the couch for any reason, you get Rick Santorum.  And people know this.”

Andrew Brietbart (Publisher-Videographer): The conservative pundit who doctored the infamous ACORN tapes  and the Shirley Sherrod tapes and was caught, appeared at the OCCUPY CPAC protest and had a complete and total public meltdown, which ironically, was caught on tape and has not been edited.
How is that for a week’s worth of right-wing crazy!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

AM Radio song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JDiCJkITtes&feature=player_embedded

RIGHT WING RADIO

(sung to the Everclear song “AM Radio”)

Portions of this lame programming are reproduced
By means of electronical transcriptions or tape recordings.

Radio
You can hear that bullshit on the right wing radio

There’s Ann Coulter and Sean Hannity
There’s lots of that Glenn Beck’s crap
Heavy on insanity

It’s simulcast along
The world wide webs

They’re pouring out pitchers full of Kool-Aid
Through the internets grid

Tea-Bagging clowns
On the air waves

Won’t talk to you if you’re black, young or gay

Limbaugh taught ‘em
The EIB chair
Is so toxic and vile
And it is unbalanced and unfair

Yo!
You must listen
To the poison on
That right wing radio (right wing radio, right wing radio)

Yeah… there’s no need for music
On right wing radio (right wing radio)

Savage is without a clue
Steers clear of every single neighborhood
In a state if that state is “Blue”

Malkin
Makes an ungodly sound
Crazy shit she’s into
Cruisin’ with that Glenn Beck clown

These nuts are broadcast across the nation
To the dumb and poor
Who mimic them like apes

They’re all right their at prime-time
Sean Hannity looks fried
Bill O’Reilly and that Sarah P. lie all goddamn night

Don’t lie in bed with the radio on
You will lose your sanity before long
When you hear Glenn Beck and his song

There’s lots of hate
And you can hear it
On that right wing radio (right wing radio, right wing radio)

Yeah… there’s no need for music
On right wing radio (right wing radio)

Listen to Limbaugh say
“Boy…Let’s bring Obama down!”

Oh no, “The Glenn Beck” show again.
I don’t wanna hear that show
Talk about “end times” and socialism, man, he such a fool
Turn it off
(Turn it off, turn it off, turn it off)

Sean Hannity is on at five
I feel like throwing up
When he spins
All that lame jive
Lives in a bubble where he is “the man”
Can’t be trusted
Cuz he lies
Like Glenn Beck and that’s a fact, man

Remember way back in two-thousand-seven
They said Romney and his cohorts
Would be leading us to heaven
If ol’ Rush Limbaugh
Could have had his way
“Operation Chaos”
Would have had Hilary Clinton
On election day
Hey!
Election day!
Hey!
No way!
Hey Rush, go away!

There must be a place we can tell them to go
A real hot place where they don’t have any snow
But they’re sure to have right wing radio

Huh-uh huh-uh huh-uh huh

Yeah, things get real stupid
On those stupid shows
The hosts are really daffy

There’s no need for music
On right wing radio (right wing radio)
There’s no need for music
On right wing radio (right wing radio)
There’s no need for music
On right wing radio (right wing radio, right wing radio)

Make it stop (right wing radio, right wing radio)…It grows old
Make it stop
Reminds me of bad disco
(right wing radio, right wing radio)

Make it stop (right wing radio, right wing radio)…It grows old
Make it stop
Reminds me of bad disco
(right wing radio, right wing radio)

Make it stop (right wing radio, right wing radio)…It grows old
Please make it stop
Reminds me of bad disco
(right wing radio, right wing radio)

Make it stop (right wing radio, right wing radio)…It grows old
Please make it stop
Reminds me of bad disco
(right wing radio, right wing radio)

Make it stop (right wing radio, right wing radio)…It grows old
Please make it stop
Reminds me of bad disco
(right wing radio, right wing radio)

Reminds me of bad disco (right wing radio)
Reminds me of bad disco (right wing radio)
Reminds me of bad disco (right wing radio)
…No I never liked (right wing radio) disco! (right wing radio)
Nooooo (right wing radio) oooooo! (right wing radio)
(right wing radio, right wing radio)
Nooooooo!
(right wing radio, right wing radio)

Fox News’ Sean Hannity Exposed As Liar By MSNBC’s Ed Schultz

Earlier this week, Fox News’ Republican Cheerleader-in-Chief, Sean Hannity stated on air, “I know the President will say ‘we got bin Laden” but putting that aside, it wouldn’t have happened if he (President Obama) had his way and I think that can be proven as well on tapes.”

Of course Hannity did not (and has not since) produced any tapes which corroborate his allegation that President Obama either did not desire to eliminate Osama bin Laden or took any action to discourage or prevent the elimination of the terrorist. You see, this is how Sean Hannity and most of his Fox News cronies operate. They make outrageous statements and seldom back any of them up with actual facts. Such is the case here.

Here are some tapes in fact which completely dispel Hannity’s spurious lie:

First we have a tape of Barack Obama on October 7, 2008 saying, “If we have Osama bin Laden in our sites and the Pakistani government is unable or unwilling to take him out, then I think that we have to act and we will take them out. We will kill bin Laden. We will crush al -Qaeda. That has to be our biggest national security priority.”

Of course, as we all know, President Obama successfully followed through on his promise to eliminate Osama bin Laden and in a televised interview on CBS’ “60 Minutes” shortly thereafter, Defense Secretary Robert Gates gave  much credit for the mission to the President. He said, “I believe, and I’ve worked for a lot of these guys (U.S. Presidents) and this is one of the most courageous calls, decisions that i think I’ve ever seen a President make…It was a very gutsy call…This is a man who is not afraid to make a tough decision and I have seen him make a number.”

If those tapes are not enough to contradict Sean Hannity and expose him as a liar, MSNBC’s Ed Schultz finished the job. Please click on the following link to view Schultz calling Hannity to task:  http://mediamatters.org/mmtv/201202080019

Please remember to click on the song links below to familiarize yourselves with the tunes and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parodies.

Saturday In The Park song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TwryFOYTKac

HANNITY IN THE DARK

(sung to the Chicago song “Saturday In The Park”)

Hannity in the dark
You’d think that he would open his eyes
Hannity in the dark
It’s rhetoric that the reich wing buys
Keeps us barfing, keeps us laughing
The man is a lame-brain
G.O.P. talking points
Ixnay on the truthiness
Do you dig it? (no, we don’t)
And he’s been at it such a long time
Sean Hannity

Hannity in the dark
You’d think that he would open his eyes
Hannity in the dark
It’s rhetoric that the reich wing buys
His tough talking, while he’s smiling
Scared of waterboarding
Chicken-hawk with gall
Olbermann exposed the fool
Can you dig it? (yes, we can)
And Alan Colmes was such a nice guy
Yesterday

Slow thinking dropout without a college degree
A bought man just can shill for the G.O.P.
Fox News execs know they’re his boss
Know they’re his boss (oh, yeah, yeah)

In a daze, in the dark
Every day’s a day full of lies
In a haze, off the mark
He’s just like Limbaugh in disguise
Embellishing and misleading
An abomination
Like the Berlin Wall
An idiot, pitching a fit
Can you dig it? (no, we can’t)
And he’s been at it such a long time
Hannity

Glenn Beck Is A Victim Of George Soros-Influenced Fox News!

Think about this for a moment. When was the last time that you heard anything at all about Glenn Beck?

For me, it was last week when during the Boston Bruins White House ceremony, it was revealed that goaltender Tim Thomas had skipped the event because he is a Tea Party member and big fan of Glenn Beck. Upon hearing mention of Beck it dawned on me that this once uber-popular crackpot has essentially evaporated and wafted away from the public consciousness.

Glenn Beck of course, was the one-time widely popular (with idiots) Fox News personality who quickly rose to stardom before flaming out of existence. During its run, Beck’s show focused primarily on criticizing President Barack Obama. It is interesting to note that the program debuted on Fox News the day before President Obama took office It is also ironic to note that Obama will retain his position at the very least through 2012 while Beck is long gone from Fox. That alone shows that Beck’s program was a massive “Mission Unaccomplished”. In fact, Glenn Beck’s steady fall from grace began in 2009 when he proclaimed that President Barack Obama has a “deep-seated hatred for white people”. That remark caused such a public backlash that over 300 advertisers pulled their commercials from his program.

Soon thereafter, Beck, the self-described rodeo clown, began to describe wacky conspiracies involving socialists, communists, leftists and Muslims all joining forces to infiltrate the Obama administration and then take down the world. Honestly, even Austin Powers’ arch enemy, the sinister Dr. Evil, could not come up with something that devilish. It appeared that he was having a mental breakdown on a nightly basis before our very eyes. He was reduced to tears more often than John Boehner. His television stage-set resembled the hidden-away attic classroom of an addle-minded professor who has been reduced to spewing unintelligible gibberish and writing inane code on a blackboard in a near empty classroom. His conspiracy theories were so wildly imaginative and unrealistic that even the other Fox hosts such as Bill O’Reilly and Sean Hannity steered well clear of all things Beckian. Simply stated, Glenn Beck had become a raving lunatic and a liability to Fox News.

Fox executives should have realized that Beck spelled trouble from the very beginning. He has no formal education or work experience in the world of politics. Glenn Beck’s college career consisted of ONE COURSE, not one semester mind you, but one course. His radio background consisted of merely a bunch of shock-jock jobs with a number of different stations. Add to that his history of alcohol and drug abuse, and you have a recipe for some kind of on-air nervous breakdown. That is exactly what we and Beck’s bosses and audience witnessed.

Consequently, Glenn Beck’s Fox News show was abruptly cancelled. On his last broadcast he said, “You will pray for the time when I was only on the air for one hour every day.” Apparently our prayers have been answered. Beck has been nowhere to be found since leaving Fox.

The tiny little audience that followed Beck to his new internet-based program must have also realized that he has become invisible. They are now trying to influence Fox News to put him back on the network. The means by which they are trying to accomplish their goal however, seems a bit…well…Beckian. You see, this group believes that the root of all evil, George Soros has actually infiltrated News Corp (the Fox News parent company) and orchestrated the demise of Glenn Beck. Really. I’m not making this stuff up.

Mediaite.com reports that conservative activist Cliff Kincaid of America’s Survival has launched a call for Fox News to bring back Glenn Beck. “Fox News has been disintegrating since Soros-funded groups forced Glenn Beck off the air,” declared Kincaid. “His show was replaced by a program featuring Democratic Party hack Bob Beckel, who regularly insults conservatives. It’s time for Glenn Beck, now on Internet TV, to return to the cable channel so that he can continue his investigative journalism into the rapidly expanding influence of the Soros network of organizations. We urge Fox News CEO Roger Ailes to negotiate Beck’s return at the earliest possible date.”

Fox News is a liberal arm of George Soros? Really? Sounds like something only Beck could come up with. Ah Glenn Beck, we hardly knew ye!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

The Fool On The Hill song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3KXrrh74wTs&feature=related

THE FOOL WHO KNOWS NIL

(sung to the Beatles song, “The Fool On The Hill”)

Day after day
He gives us a chill
Glenn Beck is crying again
Let’s watch his eyes start to fill

And nobody wants to know him
They can see that he’s just a fool
And he has not one good answer
Beck’s the fool who knows nil

George Soros stares him down
And Glenn’s face grows bright red
As his head spins around

Glenn’s head today,
Filled up with sound
Beck’s head hears a thousand voices
Screaming nonsense so loud

Everybody wants to jeer him
For the weeping that he does fake
Yet Glenn never seems to notice
Beck’s the fool who knows nil

He’s a dim-witted clown
In need of some strong meds
Beck’s off to crazy-town

(break with reality)

And nobody seems to like him
It looks like he’s back on the booze
Or maybe he’s back drug dealing
Beck’s the fool who knows nil

He’s beginning to drown
And his sponsors have fled
Soon he’ll be not around

Oh, round, an’ round, an’ round, an’ round, an’ round
Nobody listens to him
They know that he’s a fool
They don’t like him
The fool who knows nil

He’s beginning to drown
And his sponsors have fled
Soon he’ll be not around

Oh, round, an’ round, an’ round, an’ round
Oh …

Sarah Palin Is Gingrich’s Newest Mistress!

The Christmas season may be over but progressive bloggers just received another present. Lo and behold, Sarah Palin has reemerged (no word on whether or not she saw her shadow).

Just prior to the Republican South Carolina primary election (and dutifully following in the footsteps of husband Todd “First Dude” Palin), Sarah Palin has endorsed Newt “3 Wives” Gingrich. She did so while appearing on Sean Hannity’s Fox News show (where else?). When Hannity asked Palin if she would endorse Gingrich she said, “If I had to vote in South Carolina, in order to keep this thing going, I’d vote for Newt.”

The next day after receiving Palin’s endorsement, the serial-philandering Newt Gingrich made an announcement and promise of his very own. While appearing on CNN‘s Wolf Blitzer show (what? Not Fox?), Gingrich was asked whether he would consider naming Sarah Palin his Vice Presidential running mate in light of her endorsement. Gingrich replied as follows: “I would ask her to consider taking a major role in the next administration if I’m president…”.

A “major role” in a Presidential administration generally means a cabinet appointment. Can you imagine the likes of Sarah Palin having a cabinet position? Yikes! What particular position might that be?

Secretary of State:  Nope. Palin believes that North Korea is our ally;

Secretary of Defense:  Nope. Palin has a “trigger finger” as demonstrated on her reality television show;

Secretary of Labor:  Not a chance. There are too many questions surrounding her own labor while carrying her fifth child.

Secretary of Transportation:  Nope. An in-depth knowledge of the working of snow-machines is not a qualification;

Secretary of Agriculture:  Nope. Not much agriculture in the snowy wilds of Alaska;

Secretary of Education:  Nope. Palin is shockingly unqualified for this position inasmuch as it took her 6 years and 5 different colleges to earn a mere bachelor’s degree. Also, have you ever heard her try to speak? Her unfamiliarity with American history was on display when she said that Paul Revere was warning the British by means of firing musket shots and ringing bells on his famous “Midnight Ride”;

Secretary of Energy: “Drill Baby, Drill” – No Chance;

Secretary of Housing and Urban Development:  Nope. Palin has never been in an urban area for any period of time and have you noticed the lack of building codes in Alaska? If not, go to the beautiful City of Wasilla sometime;

Secretary of Health and Human Services:  Nope. I refer you to the aforementioned wild plane rides while in labor with her 5th child;

Secretary of Veterans Affairs:  Nope. She has a publicly stated hatred for entitlements of all kinds;

Secretary of Commerce:  Nope. she played too loose and fast with her own PAC’s funds and she charged the taxpayers of Alaska for all those plane trips and hotels enjoyed by her children. Don’t forget all those expensive RNC-purchased clothes that she never returned;

Secretary of Homeland Security:  Nope. Palin mistakenly thinks that when “Putin raises his head and enters U.S. airspace”, he does so over Alaska;

Secretary of Treasury:  Nope. See Secretary of Commerce;

Attorney General: Nope. She is not qualified to be an attorney; and

UN Ambassador:  God help us!

Perhaps Newt Gingrich should simply consider appointing Sarah Palin to the only secretary position she is qualified for. She spends so much time on Facebook and Twitter, that she would be an excellent data entry clerk in the general secretarial pool.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Copacabana song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JMHp9a5FwrI

COPACAVILLA

(sung to the Barry Manilow song “Copacabana”)

Her name was Sarah, She was a schoolgirl
With lots of style gel in her hair and a dress cut down to there
She used to play flute, and she was Todd’s type
And yes she was a sportscaster, a job that she could not master
Although she was a pup, with Todd she got knocked-up
They were young and they had each other
Just a mere hiccup

At the Copa, Copacavilla
The hottest spot north of Wasilla
At the Copa, Copacavilla
Those rimless glasses made them look like asses
At the Copa…they fell in love

(Copa Copacavilla)

His name was Toddie, she liked his body
They got married one fine day, He insisted he’s not gay
They said a prayer, then she was mayor
But to add some attitude, she changed his name to the “First Dude”
Sarah then hired some crooks, and then she banned some books
There was trouble with city contracts
So they cooked the books

At the Copa, Copacavilla
The hottest spot north of Wasilla
At the Copa, Copacavilla
Handouts and kickbacks and lots of “Joe Sixpacks”
At the Copa…next it was Guv

(Copa..Copacavilla)
(Copa Copacavilla) (Copacavilla, ahh ahh ahh ahh)
(Ahh ahh ahh ahh Copa Copacavilla)
(Wasilla,  rhymes with vanilla)
(Dumbness and fashion… were always her passion)

Her name is Sarah, she is the Guv’nor
She even tried to be V.P.,  cuz she was so damn “Mavericky”
That was a pipedream for our gal, Sarah
The job was above her pay-grade. More substance in lemonade
Her inlaw getting high. Now she just hates Levi
She lost the race and she lost her mojo
Now she’s lost her mind!

At the Copa (CO), Copacavilla (Copacavilla)
The hottest spot north of Wasilla (Here)
At the Copa (CO), Copacavilla
No education. Unwed procreation
At the Copa…That’s our dear Guv

(Copa) That’s our dear Guv
Copacavilla
Copacavilla
(Fade to end)

Limbaugh’s Lies Exposed By Ed Schultz

Another bevy of Rush Limbaugh lies was exposed yesterday. MSNBC host Ed Schultz played a portion of Limbaugh’s radio show during which the drug-addled racist alleged that “ignorant and uninformed voters” elected President Obama. Limbaugh went on to say that Democrats were trying to dumb-down students in school to brainwash them. He continued by saying “anyone who cares about the country and is informed would not vote for Obama” and “the uninformed voter is a target Democrat Party audience.”

Ed Schultz however, would have none of it. On the segment of his nightly television program titled “Psychotalk”, Schultz exposed Limbaugh’s lies. He started by showing that it is the Republicans who actually attempt to dumb-down students. He provided the example of Texas Republicans who fought to change social studies text books to be more conservative and to omit certain progressive policies and ideals of Thomas Jefferson and other important figures.

Schultz also showed that misinformation is “actually the cornerstone of Republican election strategy.” As an example, he cited the recent Fairleigh Dickinson University study which stated, “Some [media] outlets, especially Fox News, lead people to be even less informed than those who say they don’t watch any news at all.” he then played video clips of Fox News’ Megyn Kelly saying that pepper spray “is a food product” and Sean Hannity claiming that the new health care law contains “death panels.” Most enlightening of all however, was a clip of Fox News’ Gretchen Carlson discussing a theory that “aliens could kill us” if earth does not stop global warming!

Schultz concluded by saying that Fox News viewers are the most uninformed and studies have revealed that 78% of those viewers are Republicans. Consequently, he showed that it is, in fact, the Republican voters who are uninformed.

This should not be news to any of us. Just last week we posted this Fox News chart which suggests that November 2011′s 8.6% unemployment rate is actually higher than the February 2011 8.9% rate and the March 2011 8.8% rate.

It is also informative to note that the non-partisan fact-checking organization known as PolitiFact.com provided this partial list of Fox News misinformation:

  1. Fox said less than 10% of Obama’s Cabinet appointees have worked in the private sector. – False
  2. Fox said, White House Political Director served as right-hand man to the ACORN chief – False
  3. Fox said Texas Board of Education may eliminate  references to Christmas and the Constitution from textbooks – False
  4. Fox said Health Care Reform is a govt. takeover of health care – False and the PolitiFact 2010 “Lie of the Year”
  5. Fox said the Muslim Brotherhood has openly stated that they want to  declare  war on Israel – False
  6. Fox said American troops have never been under the formal control of another nation – False
  7. Fox said Gov. Rick Scott’s approval ratings have climbed since election – False
  8. Fox said Massachusetts’ health care plan is wildly unpopular among state residents – False
  9. Fox said there’s been more debt under Obama than all other presidents combined – False
  10. Fox said Health care bill includes death panels – False and the PolitiFact  2009 “Lie of the Year”
  11. Fox said  “Cash For Clunkers” will give govt. complete access to your home computer – False
  12. Fox said halting Gulf drilling costs $8 Billion a day in imports – False
  13. Fox said Democrats plan largest tax increase in history – False
  14. Fox said Eric holder was involved in the dismissal of criminal charges against New Black panthers – False
  15. Fox said Obama voted “present” in the U.S. Senate quite often – False
  16. Fox said John Holdren proposed forced abortions and putting sterilants in drinking water – False
  17. Fox said labor union president Andy Stern is most frequent visitor at white house – False
  18. Fox said America is the only country with automatic citizenship upon birth – False
  19. Fox said O’Reilly never called George tiller a baby killer only reporting what others called him – False
  20. Fox said only fox news picked up that Anita Dunn said mao was one of her favorite philosophers – False and
  21. Fox said nobody at Fox news ever said you’re going to jail if you don’t buy health insurance – False

Limbaugh the Liar has been exposed yet again!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Hark The Herald Angels Sing song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wbdvo019mgM

HARK, THE DITTO-HEADS DO SING

(sung to the Amy Grant version of “Hark The Herald Angels Sing”)

Hark, the ditto-heads do sing
“Glory to Limbaugh our King!”
On the left he is reviled
Cuz he behaves like a child
On those islands where he flies
With Viagra he does rise
His tired old act is just a game
Intended to bring him fame
Hark, the ditto-heads do sing
“Glory to Limbaugh our King!”

When Rush speaks he only lies
Unlike Beck he does not cry
Rush has an expansive girth
He is shaped like planet earth
Former wives have numbered three
He prefers his Oxy-C
Right-wing drivel he does sell
From his brainless empty shell
Hark, the ditto-heads do sing
“Glory to Limbaugh our King!”

(Viagra-chomping break)

He calls his show the E.I.B.
It’s all about me, me, me
Of his fame, he often sings
While taking credit for all things
Yet, by most he is ignored
Like a little mouse that roared
With nothing beneath his dome
He emits a rabid foam
Hark, the ditto-heads do sing
“Glory to Limbaugh our King!”

Fox News Manufactures A Fake “War On Halloween”

Fox News will do anything to avoid reporting on newsworthy events. In the last week Libya’s terrorist/dictator Colonel Moammar Gadhafi was captured and killed by his nation’s citizens thereby bringing an end to his 40 years of brutal leadership and opening the door to a more democratic form of government (BTW, does anybody else wonder why he never promoted himself above colonel?). The overthrow of Gadhafi after only 8 months of “war” also validated President Obama’s military strategy of foregoing “boots on the ground” in favor of enforcement of a no-fly zone and drone attacks because, not only was Gadhafi captured after his convoy was struck by such a drone attack, but also because not one single American life was lost in the conflict which cost only about $1 billion. Did Fox News provide coverage of the capture of Gadhafi? Hardly at all. Did Fox News report on the success of the United States’ role in the conflict? Nope. Instead they credited France and Great Britain.

A day or so after the elimination of Gadhafi, President Obama announced that all U.S. troops would be leaving Iraq by the end of this year. Consequently, the 8 year Iraq War will finally be concluded after the loss of over 3,500 American lives and more than $ 800 billion to date. Did Fox News report on the benefits of ending the conflict in terms of saved lives and precious taxpayer dollars? Of course not. Instead, the Fox anchor reporting on the President’s announcement merely queried as to why the statement was made from the Brady Press Briefing Room rather than from “the East Room or someplace else.” Honestly, is that all they’ve got over at Fox News?

Of course not. Do not worry your pretty little heads. Fox News has all the time in the world to report upon really important stuff such as their fabricated “Holiday Wars”. It all started a few years ago when Bill O’Reilly, Glenn Beck and guests such as Michelle Malkin and Ann Coulter got their panties all in a bunch over the fact that lots of people were saying “Happy Holidays” rather than “Merry Christmas”. The Fox folks declared that  there was a “War on Christmas”. Apparently the folks over at Fox do not realize that a lot of Americans who benefit from a paid holiday on Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year’s Day are actually Jewish or Muslim or Buddhist or Hindu and do not celebrate the Christian Christmas.

If that were not enough foolishness from Fox, last Spring Sean Hannity declared that there is also a “War on Easter”. He was apparently unable to come up with any concrete examples of the siege against Easter. Instead, he complained that Lady Gaga chose a poor time (April 2011) to release her song titled “Judas” and he was also upset that British comedian Ricky Gervais had recently criticized Christians in a written article. Hannity ignored the fact that neither of his targets even used the word “Easter”.

Now Fox news has now declared that there is a “War on Halloween”. MediaMatters.org reports that on October 21, 2011, Fox Nation posted a headline which read, “Schools Declare War on Halloween”. This was linked to an article by Todd Starnes in which the author criticized a few elementary schools for their decision not to allow children to wear Halloween costumes and have parades which are open to the public during school hours. The article states that the schools had “concerns that Americans are forcing their holiday traditions on new immigrants”.

The Fox article of course, failed to give credence to the schools’ actual stated reasons for banning the events such as  health and safety concerns and avoiding hurt feelings. The links provided in the very article explained for instance that one principal was worried about the influx of parents and visitors at the schools and the risk of an abduction of a child who could not be identified because of the costume. She said, “On parade day, the doors are open and it’s a flood of adults in here. It’s unfortunate, but we can’t believe all people coming into our building are safe.” The principal also explained that severe food allergies are an increasing problem and all Halloween treats being brought in could not be monitored. She also explained that there are often hurt feelings experienced by the poorer children who do not have costumes. Another principal elected to replace the unhealthy candy associated with Halloween with a Fall festival which will celebrate the healthy foods of the autumn harvest and also promote exercise. Additionally, all of the schools mentioned indicated that they will continue to host “after school” traditional Halloween parties.

What next Fox News? The “War on Arbor Day”?

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s Halloween-inspired song parody.

The Monster Mash song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FeZftK2kO6U

THE MALKIN MASH

(sung to the Bobby “Boris” Pickett song “Monster Mash”)

She was mouthing off with gab late one night
Malkin’s strange visage, an eerie sight
My blood pressure and pulse both began to rise
What’s up with that weird lazy eye?

She’s talkin’ trash
She did the Malkin mash
The Malkin mash
I think she has a rash
She does the mash
She must be smokin’ hash
She does the mash
She did the Malkin mash

She was ruminating on Obama’s speech
When her logic and her brains went to the beach
We knew she was lying by her growing nose
Inside her skull, a mighty wind blows

She’s talkin’ trash
She did the Malkin mash
The Malkin mash
I think she has a rash
She does the mash
She must be smokin’ hash
She does the mash
She did the Malkin mash

Dear Malkin was having fun
Her air-time had just begun
It was quite apparent that
Michelle had come undone

The show was rockin’ with her babbling sounds
Michelle spewing sentences without nouns
There were blood-shot lines in her crazy ass eyes
One thing missing was the strait-jacket guys

She’s talkin’ trash
She did the Malkin mash
The Malkin mash
I think she has a rash
She does the mash
She must be smokin’ hash
She does the mash
She did the Malkin mash

Out from the closet came the Coulter thing
He was wearing his decoder ring
Waving it round because he was pissed
Have you ever seen so much hair on anybody’s fist?

She’s talkin’ trash
She did the Malkin mash
The Malkin mash
I think she has a rash
She does the mash
She must be smokin’ hash
She does the mash
She did the Malkin mash

Now everything’s cool, Coulter hid his big hand
And Malkin’s diatribe was critically panned
It was one giant laugh if it was viewed
Next time we see that jerk, she is sure to be booed.

She’s talkin’ trash
She did the Malkin mash
The Malkin mash
I think she has a rash
She does the mash
She must be smokin’ hash
She does the mash
She did the Malkin mash

Sarah Palin Memorial Month Continues…

Now that Sarah Palin has quit once again and her rapid fade from relevance has commenced, we thought it might be fun to memorialize her by re-posting some of our favorite Palin-centric columns and song parodies from the past. Let’s raise our collective glasses and toast the former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska! Ah, Sarah, we hardly knew ye!

This column was originally posted on October 29, 2010. It comments upon Sarah Palin’s backing away from Delaware senate candidate Christine O’Donnell after it became apparent to everyone that O’Donnell was crazy.

Palin Is Bailin’ On Failin’ O’Donnell

It has been less than two months since Sarah Palin endorsed Teapublican Christine O’Donnell for Joe Biden’s former Delaware Senate seat. On September 8th, the “Queen of Quit” retweeted a tweet from conservative radio host Tammy Bruce to her over 200,000 alleged followers. The tweet said, “@ChristineOD is great, her election must [be] a major focus for us all.” Palin then officially broke the news by calling her Fox News “BFF” Sean Hannity. Hannity then quickly sent out a Twiiter tweet which said, “Thanks @SarahPalinUSA for the last minute call in. Endorsement of Christine O’Donnell was an exclusive. Said she hadn’t told Christine yet.” Immediately thereafter, O’Donnell tweeted, “Just got Gov. Palin’s endorsement! Thank you for your prayers!” Yikes, what a frightening love triangle comprised of Palin, conservative talk radio and O’Donnell.

But, a funny thing happened on the way to a joint Palin/O’Donnell campaign appearance. O’Donnell was exposed as an unqualified fool. The whole nation became aware of her “dabbling in witchcraft”, “satanic alter” picnics, masturbation ban, evolution denying, tax evasion, college degree mystery, campaign donation games and finally, her complete misunderstanding of the United States Constitution. Nevertheless, Sarah Palin is a stalwart, loyal and dedicated supporter of her “Mama Grizzlies”. So, what did she do to rehabilitate O’Donnell’s image? Nothing. She quietly faded from the scene and thus far has avoided any attempted joint public appearance.

Our advice to Christine O’Donnell? Don’t hold your breath. There are only 3 days left before the election and Sarah Palin has hitched her caboose to the “Tea Party Express Traveling Kool-Aid Show and Freak Emporium”, which will purposely steer well clear of the Blue Hen State. Palin has made it absolutely clear that O’Donnell is persona non grata (btw, for you G.O.P. readers, persona non grata means “an unwelcome person”).

This is not surprising. Sarah Palin changes her allegiances as often as she changes her Naughty Monkey heels. When is the last time you heard her mention Meg Stapleton, Ivy Frye, Kris Perry, Kristan Cole or even Carly Fiorina and Meg Whitman for that matter? Palin is fickle and loves front-runners and unfortunately for O’Donnell, the flavor of the day is Joe “computer tampering” Miller and Sharron “2nd Amendment remedies” Angle. Don’t believe it, Christine? Then try contacting Sarah by telephone and see if she will “get back to ya on that”!

Face it, Christine. You are on your own till Tuesday when you become a footnote in history. Here is a little advice until then. You might consider resisting the urge to don your lady-bug costume, get blasted and go on a manhunt this pre-election Halloween. You already carry enough baggage.

A Halloween to remember.

In honor of the troops, please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along to this Halloween inspired parody.

Witchy Woman song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1d8hZtvRPno

WITCHY WOMAN (O’DONNELL VERSION)

(sung to the Eagles song “Witchy Woman”)

Crazy stare on Bill Maher’s clips
She is one of Palin’s dips
O’Donnell is our delight
She’s a crazy Tea-Bagger that’s not too bright
Wooo Hooo witchy woman,
She is full of lies
Wooo Hooo witchy woman,
She’s got pagan witchcraft ties

I watched Bill Maher the other night
O’Donnell was so uptight
She said Charles Darwin was out of tune,
And his evolution theory was so untrue
Wooo Hooo witchy woman,
She is full of lies
Wooo Hooo witchy woman,
She’s got pagan witchcraft ties

(masturbation break with oohs and ahhhs)

She can’t seem to keep a lover,
Let me tell ya brother, she’s been sleeping in the Devil’s bed.
And there’s some rumors going round,
Polls are headed down
November will be the right time
To strike this witch dead

Wooo Hooo witchy woman,
She is full of lies
Wooo Hooo witchy woman,
She’s got pagan witchcraft ties

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