Category Archives: Republican

GOP Rep. Buchanan To Sport The “Other” Type Of Pinstriped Suit?

Former Republican Congressman and present convicted felon, Tom Delay, may soon have a new roommate.

It is being reported by CNN, that Republican Rep. Vern Buchanan may be serving his next term behind bars. The news source has confirmed there are no fewer than four congressional and federal investigations into Buchanan’s business practices, his campaign finances and his alleged attempt to try to stop a witness from talking. They report that “Buchanan’s former business partner says the congressman schemed to launder money from his car dealerships into his campaign coffers, and then tried to get others to cover it up.” The former business partner is Sam Kazran.

CNN reports that at the center of Kazran’s allegations is a cash swap scheme used to finance some of Buchanan’s campaigns. He says employees were forced to write checks, then were reimbursed with cash drawn from Buchanan’s car dealerships. Kazran says,

“It was to a point where I said, ‘Chief, we can’t give you this kind of money. At which point he said, ‘Just run it through the corporation.’  What he said to me was ‘Get people to write a check to the campaign and then pay them back through the corporation.'”

Kazran took his detailed allegations to the Federal Elections Commission (FEC), which was already looking into Buchanan’s campaign finances. The FEC eventually fined Kazran $5,000 in a settlement because he admitted reimbursing employees for campaign contributions. During the FEC probe, Buchanan pushed to settle a lawsuit Kazran had brought against him at the last minute, with a $2.9 million settlement offer from Buchanan. Kazran says Buchanan and his team were trying to force him to lie about Buchanan’s role in the campaign cash scheme in exchange for the nearly $3 million cash settlement. Kazran refused to sign and took the affidavit to federal investigators. Now, CNN has learned that Buchanan is being investigated for attempting to tamper with a witness in a federal investigation.

CNN also reports that in a recent report, released quietly several weeks ago, the Office of Congressional Ethics wrote: “There is substantial reason to believe that Buchanan attempted to influence the testimony of a witness in a proceeding before the FEC in violation” of federal law and House ethics code. Read the OCE’s report on the affidavit (pdf).

Now a full House ethics committee is looking into it. CNN has also learned that the FBI is conducting its own investigation.

In addition, the Office of Congressional Ethics also found “substantial reason to believe” that Buchanan failed to disclose unearned income on his financial disclosure forms from 2007 to 2010. Read the report (pdf).

Republican Rep. Vern Buchanan should call his tailor and instruct him to begin sewing one of those “other” types of pinstriped suits.

Today’s song parody takes a rapid-fire look at Republicans past, present and future. Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.

We Didn’t Start The Fire song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eFTLKWw542g&ob=av2e

WE DIDN’T START THE LYING

(sung to the Billy Joel song “We Didn’t Start The Fire”)

Ronald Reagan, Larry Craig, Mark Sanford, Tom Delay
Michelle Malkin, Michele Bachmann, “Goin’ with the flow”

Joe McCarthy, Richard Nixon, Howard Baker, lack of vision
Spreading Fear, Acting queer, and ole Sixpack Joe

No icebergs, H-Bomb, “Pay for play”, “Hockey Mom”
Landrieu, Hamid Karzai, and that Michael Savage guy

Ivy tower, Van Flein, Tea-bagger party scene
Party of “No”, Tim Pawlenty, Let’s watch Glenn Beck cry

These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it

Vitter’s fallin’, Ginny Foxx, Boehner and Inhofe
Mitch McConnell, small umbrella, Talking the talk

Spin Zone, Rent to own, Straight martini, Bank loan
Russian view and Pastor Haggard’s flock

Sex crimes, Grassley, John McCain is “Mavericky”
Lining pockets, health care plan, Giuliani, Limbaugh Land

Barrasso, Fake protest, Tom “The Hammer”, Chambliss
Senate race, Lack of grace, and Melvin Martinez

These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it

Loaded Glock, SarahPAC, Sam Alito, Johnny Mack
Jindal, Right to die, Tripp’s father is Levi

Pentagon, Border wall, We must deport them all
Bed-wetters, genocide, No assisted suicide

Bush’s folly, Torture, Dick Cheney, Blackwater
Hate groups, Castro, John Ensign and his ‘ho

First Dude, Hannity, Mann Coulter and O’Reilly
Scooter Libby, Karl Rove, Sarah Palin’s “Sixpack Joes”

These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it

Kay Bailey, Muslims, K Street is full of bums
Villains, Pearlman, Iraqi Invasion

Health reform hysteria, Sarah Palin mania
Shameless G-Men, War in Afghanistan

Ron Paul, Airport sex, They don’t want no litmus test
Kneel and pray, Always “nay”, Can’t get married if you’re gay

These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it

Birth control, Lives of sin, They like folks that have white skin
Buckshot, Dow stock, Loud mouthed chicken-hawks
Takin’ Bacon, Palestine, Palin is no friend of mine
Now they have nukes in Iran, Couldn’t stop the Taliban

Makin’ fortunes, Soldiers die, Did we mention Glenn Beck cried?
Foreign debts, Homeless vets, Exposed by three jets
We voted them out the door, Now they’re just a mouse that roars
Spider holes and unjust wars, I can’t take them anymore.

These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it
(repeat chorus to fade)

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Tuesday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 97

Just a few newsworthy items (and comments thereon) that have been making their way through the political universe this past week but may have escaped your attention. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful day during this unofficial first workday of summer!

BREAKING NEWS:  This week’s episode of “Creepy Old Fat Men” stars conservative radio shock jock Rush Limbaugh. Media Matters reports that last week the drug-addicted Limbaugh told a 14 year old girl who called into the program that she is a “Rush babe”. He then said, “See, folks, this program has no boundaries. We have people from all three sexes, we have people from all religions, we have people from all genders, all demographics, all ages. A 14-year-old Rush babe.” Ewww! After listening to Limbaugh, you feel like you need a shower.

THIS JUST IN:  Want to know how to lose the Latino vote? Just ask Mitt Romney. Talking Points Memo reports that Romney addressed a luncheon hosted by the Latino Coalition Wednesday. Immigration was not mentioned once, either in the address or in a pre-screened Q&A session. Romney’s lack of any reference to immigration on Wednesday was especially glaring given that the Latino Coalition has strongly advocated for comprehensive immigration reforms in recent years. The  the latest polls show Romney trailing with Latinos by the same disastrous margins that brought down John McCain.

BREAKING NEWS:  Speaking of Mitt Romney, he was given a foreign policy spanking last week by none other than GOP foreign policy heavyweight Colin Powell. In reference to Romney’s labeling of Russia as the United States’ “No. 1 geopolitical foe, the former chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, said on MSNBC’s Morning Joe, “Come on, Mitt, think. That isn’t the case.” MSNBC reports that Powell added, “Let’s not go creating enemies where none need exist… let’s not hyperbolize the situation.”

THIS JUST IN:  Speaking of Colin Powell, did you realize that last week he endorsed gay marriage? The Hill reports that he said, “As I’ve thought about gay marriage, I know a lot of friends who are individually gay but are in partnerships with loved ones. And they are [as] stable a family as my family is. And they raise children. And so I don’t see any reason not to say that they should be able to get married under the laws of their state or the laws of the country, however that turns out — it seems to be the laws of the state,” during an appearance on CNN’s “The Situation Room with Wolf Blitzer.” Good for you, Mr. Powell!

BREAKING NEWS:  Remember Newt Gingrich? before running for President he liked to brag that his business ventures pulled in more than $110 million over the past decade. Well, a funny thing happened on the way to Newt’s quitting the presidential race. Reuters reports that “the vestiges of this empire are mired in debt, as is Gingrich’s campaign fund” and they “are going bankrupt.” Gingrich, you might recall, told the American people he knew how to get the nation out of debt. Not so much.

THIS JUST IN:  Speaking of Newt Gingrich, remember when the philanderer’s personal financial disclosure campaign filing revealed he had a line of credit of up to $1 million with the store, in addition to a revolving charge account at the high-end Tiffany & Co. jewelry store? Well, perhaps Gingrich’s recent financial collapse has also had a negative effect on the tony jeweler. Tiffany & Co. cut its outlook for both sales and profit for the year, citing a slowdown in demand for its jewelry. As the result of that announcement, its shares fell more than 8 percent in premarket trading.

BREAKING NEWS: Best quote of the week: at an event in Iowa, President Obama said “Governor Romney came to Des Moines last week and warned of a prairie fire of debt, but he left out some facts. His speech was more like a cow pie of distortion.”

THIS JUST IN: This weeks episode of “Republicans Eating Their Young” features George F. Will. Thinkprogress writes, “During an appearance on ABC’s This Week, columnist George Will slammed Romney for sharing a stage with the self-promoting businessman. Describing Trump as a ”bloviating ignoramus,” Will said, “I do not understand the cost benefit here. The costs are clear. The benefit — what voter is gonna vote for him [Romney] because he is seen with Donald Trump? The cost of appearing with this bloviating ignoramus is obvious it seems to me…Donald Trump is redundant evidence that if your net worth is high enough, your IQ can be very low and you can still intrude into American politics. Again, I don’t understand the benefit. What is Romney seeking? ”

BREAKING NEWS:  This weeks episode of “Republicans Eating Their Young- Part Two” features Meghan McCain. The Senator’s daughter wrote a column in The Daily Beast this week in which she called out Republicans for their hate speech. She said, “Last week, I went on Al Sharpton’s MSNBC show PoliticsNation to talk about extremism in the Republican Party. As a socially liberal Republican, this happens to be a topic I know a lot about. On the show, I told Sharpton that many Republicans treat me like a freak, especially the extreme-right members of my party. I went on to say that I don’t understand the appeal of extreme bloggers such as Michelle Malkin and the late Andrew Breitbart. That’s all I said, but it only took a few hours before my comments were posted out of context on a variety of blogs that suggested I was viciously attacking Breitbart. My Twitter feed exploded with insults, including the suggestion that I should kill myself.”

Please remember to click on the song link below to not only familiarize yourselves with the tune of today’s song parody about the Meghan McCain /Michelle Malkin rivalry, but also so that you will have more fun singing along.

We Can Work It Out song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zn_ZdX6nQvw

THEY CAN’T WORK IT OUT

(sung to The Beatles song “We Can Work It Out”)

Try to see Malkin’s way
All she does is keep on squawking till she can’t go on
Try to see McCain’s way
Just a kid foregoing all the love of neocons

They can’t work it out
They can’t work it out

All Meghan is saying
Neocons were wrong and moved way too far to the right
But Michelle is saying
McCain’s a kid that must learn to hate with lips locked tight

They can’t work it out
They can’t work it out

No one shall abort for it’s a crime
Keep fussing and fighting, my friends
G.O.P. group thought by Fox is fine
Broadcast from six till after ten

But to see Malkin’s way
So easy to tell that the far right is so damn wrong
She can’t see McCain’s way
And the chance that the right will fall apart before too long

They can’t work it out
They can’t work it out

Sight is very short in Malkin time
Nonplussing and fighting with friends
McCain’s only thought, not worth a dime
But she still “tweets” time and again

They should hit the highway
They emit a smell that is both ripe and very strong
Passing through a doorway
That will hit them in the ass as we shout out, “So Long!”

They can’t work it out
They can’t work it out

Southern Rednecks Are Turning Blue

It now seems certain that the Republican Party will be progressively losing its stranglehold on the deep South as each election cycle passes.

CNN reports:

When presumptive Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney appears before Latino small-business owners in Washington on Tuesday, he’ll address a group whose explosive birth rates foreshadow a seismic political shift in GOP strongholds in the Deep South and Southwest.

“The Republicans’ problem is their voters are white, aging and dying off,” said David Bositis, a senior research associate at the Joint Center for Political and Economic Studies, who studies minority political engagement.

“There will come a time when they suffer catastrophic losses with the realization of the population changes.”

Over the next several generations, the wave of minority voters — who, according to U.S. Census figures released this week, now represent more than half of the nation’s population born in the past year — will become more of a power base in places like Alabama, Mississippi and Georgia. That hold will extend across the Southwest all the way to California, experts say.

The coming political revolution could result in a massive changing of the guard on nearly every level of government, potential cultural clashes, and the type of political alliances that are now considered rare.

According to the Pew Hispanic Center, Southeastern states such as Alabama, Arkansas, Kentucky, Mississippi, North Carolina, South Carolina and Tennessee boast some of the greatest percentage increases in Latino population growth. They are also states where the percentage of Hispanics roughly doubled.

So far, Republican efforts to offer Latinos a place at the table have fallen short.

The nation’s Hispanics tend to vote Democratic, and overwhelmingly supported Barack Obama and Joe Biden in 2008.

Romney in particular has stumbled with this critical voting bloc, after his comments suggesting that making the economic landscape tough for illegal immigrants will force them to “self deport.”

If Republicans continue to struggle to appeal to Latino voters, Spanish-language ads may not stave off a change that experts like Bositis see coming in the not too distant future, when states such as Georgia go purple and eventually blue.

“There’ll be a tipping point where you’ve got the Republicans in charge, but you’ll get to the point when the population becomes minority,” Bositis said. “When that happens the statewide offices will fall. Republican governors will fall. Things will change.”

This is all good news for the Democratic Party. The Dixiecrats will be returning.

Please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.

I Get A Kick Out Of You song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qh4r_mrq4sk&ob=av2n

I GET A KICK THAT WE’RE BLUE

(sung to the Frank Sinatra song “I Get A Kick Out Of You”)

My state, thank God is not red, it is blue
We’re truly progressive, liberal yes it’s true
The only exception I know is the case
A few reps from the G.O.P., boy the Statehouse must be so lonely
Re-pub-licans now clearly see
They have been outpaced

I don’t care much for McCain
Giuliani doesn’t appeal to me
Herm Cain is without a damn clue
And Sarah Palin, “also, too”

Collins and Snowe they’re from Maine
It would be rich if they both made the switch
“Vacation-land” would be totally blue
Republicans would be so few

I get a kick every time the Grand Ole Party implodes before me
I get a kick cuz it’s clear to see, they obviously simply bore me

I don’t care much for McCain
Mike Huckabee doesn’t do much for me
Mitt Romney commands the flip-flopping crew
So I get a kick
Oh, it gives me a boot
I get a kick that we’re blue

Huntsman Compares GOP to Chinese Communist Party

It was enlightening to learn that former GOP Presidential candidate Jon Huntsman believes that the Republican Party is like China’s authoritarian Communist party. The Daily Beast reports that “Huntsman returned to the podium to mourn the current state of his party on Sunday night at the 92nd Street Y in New York. He spoke of being disappointed when he was uninvited from a Florida fundraiser for suggesting a third-party run, saying, ‘This is what they do in China on party matters if you talk off script.’ He noted that even Ronald Reagan wouldn’t have a shot at the nomination in this climate. ”

Huntsman of course was the only sane candidate crammed into the GOP clown-car of candidates which once held the likes of Michele “The Founding Fathers Fought To End Slavery” Bachmann, Rick “Man On Dog” Santorum and Herman “Raisin'” Cain. That group of crazies was also joined on and off again by Donald “Birther” Trump and Sarah “Death Panels” Palin. Now of course, only Newt “Four Wives” Gingrich, Ron “Dr. No” Paul and Mitt “Flip Flop” Romney remain.

What separated Jon Huntsman from the other GOP hopefuls was intelligence and a sense of moderation. He was the former Governor of Utah and an Eagle Scout who was awarded six honorary doctorate degrees. He also is fluent in multiple Chinese dialects. He worked in the Reagan administration as a White House staff Assistant, in the George H. W. Bush administration as Deputy Assistant Secretary of Commerce and United States Ambassador to Singapore and in the Barack Obama administration as United States Ambassador to China.

It was impossible for Huntsman to win the Republican nomination for President precisely because of those qualities. He was intelligent enough to believe in and understand math and science (and evolution as well) and moderate enough to work with Democrats. Those attributes are a death knell in today’s Tea Party ruled GOP where candidates must publicly denounce intelligence (and evolution as well) and vow to oppose every single Democratic initiative regardless of merit.

Consequently, it is refreshing to see a man who knows an awful lot about the Chinese to recognize the striking similarity of today’s Republican Party and the Chinese Communist Party.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

“All Together Now” song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LtjhW-ERoak

ALL TOGETHER NOW

 (sung to the Beatles song “All Together Now”)

One, two, three, four
Rick Perry’s a Texan whore
Five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten I loathe you

A, B, C, D
Bachmann’s drinking too much tea
E, F, G, H, I, J I loathe you

Boom, bam, boom
Boom, bam, boom

Mitt’s a dip
Boom, bam, boom
Newt’s crazy
Boom, bam, boom
Paul’s a dope
Boom, bam, boom
Where’s Christie?

All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now

Black, white, green, red
Listen to what Herm Cain said
Pink, brown, yellow, orange and blue I loathe you

All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now

Rick’s a twit
Boom, bam, boom
Jon’s a dweeb
Boom, bam, boom
Not a hope
Boom, bam, boom
Nobodies!

All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now….

Crazy Palin-Endorsed Teapublican Compares “No Smoking” Signs To Hitler

Nuff said!

Nuff said!

This week’s episode of “Crazy Republican Comparisons” features Republican U.S. Senate candidate, John Raese. While speaking to a group of supporters, the Tea Party and Sarah Palin endorsed Raese compared “No Smoking” signs to one of Adolf Hitler’s most notorious mandates. He said,

I don’t want government telling me what I can do and what I can’t do because I’m an American.  But in Monongalia County you can’t smoke a cigarette, you can’t smoke a cigar, you can’t do anything.  And I oppose that because I believe in everybody’s individual freedoms and everybody’s individual rights to do what they want to do and I’m a conservative and that’s the way that goes.

But in Monongalia County now, I have to put a huge sticker on my buildings to say this is a smoke free environment.  This is brought to you by the government of Monongalia County.  Ok?

Remember Hitler used to put Star of David on everybody’s lapel, remember that?  Same thing.

As we so often say, a picture is worth a thousand words:

Really? “No Smoking” signs are the same thing as the badges used by the Nazi government to mark the Jews during World War II? “No Smoking” signs which are designed to protect the public health are the same thing as the Star of David badge used by Hitler organize the persecution and destruction of the Jewish race?

Teapublican John Raese is a very sick man and anybody in West Virginia who agrees with his ludicrous comparison and votes for this lunatic is also a sick person.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Garden Party song link:  http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x89fev_ricky-nelson-garden-party_music

TEA BAG PARTY

(sung to the Ricky Nelson song “Garden Party”)

I went to a Tea Bag party hoping to make some brand new friends
But they became my enemies, those right wing racist men
When I got to the Tea Bag party, they all looked the same
That really surprised me, and no one had a brain

But its all right now, I learned my lesson well
You see, ya can’t please everyone, so ya got to please yourself

Crazies there from miles around, mostly with white hair
Locals brought their shotguns, there was hatred in the air
‘n’ over in the corner, not to my surprise
Sarah Palin sportin’ thigh-high boots while she winked her eyes.

But its all right now, I learned my lesson well
You see, ya can’t please everyone, so they can go to hell

Lot-in-dah-dah-dah, lot-in-dah-dah-dah

Told them they were so wrong, Glenn Beck is insane
Drill Baby, Drill’s stupid,  and Palin is to blame
I said Rand Paul is crazy too, best not drink his tea
Then I told them things about Michele Bachmann they would not believe

But its all right now, I learned my lesson well
You see, ya can’t please everyone, so they can go to hell

Lot-dah-dah-dah (lot-dah-dah-dah)
Lot-in-dah-dah-dah

Someone opened up a closet door and donned a white pointy hood
Punching his railroad ticket to Hell and just the way he should
If you’re goin’ to a Tea Bag party, I wish you a lotta luck
Bring a misspelled sign, use racist slang and drive a pick-up truck

But its all right now, I learned my lesson well
You see, ya can’t please everyone, so ya got to please yourself

Lot-dah-dah-dah (lot-dah-dah-dah)
Lot-in-dah-dah-dah

But its all right now, I learned my lesson well
You see, ya can’t please everyone, so ya got to please yourself

Ted Nugent Should Face The Music

The fact that we are even commenting on Ted Nugent proves that this is a slow news day. After all, the aging former wanna-be rock star was not even very notable or relevant in his hey day back in the 1970s. He only had one very marginal hit song followed by a seemingly unending string of albums which were almost immediately relegated to the record store’s “discount bin”.

Following his dismal music career, Nugent became a fervent supporter of the NRA and the Republican Party. This makes perfect sense because Nugent is the model Republican citizen with his multiple marriages and eight children with three born out of wedlock. Like Republican Rep. Joe Walsh, Nugent was also a deadbeat dad who failed to pay his child support. Spin magazine even went so far as to include Ted Nugent in its list of the “100 Sleaziest Moments in Rock”. Why? Because in 1978, Nugent began a relationship with seventeen-year-old Hawaii native Pele Massa. Due to the age difference they could not marry so Nugent joined Massa’s parents in signing documents to make himself her legal guardian. Eewww!

Nugent is probably now known best for his violent and vulgar rhetoric directed towards Democratic Party politicians. For example, at a concert on August 21, 2007, Nugent made controversial comments about Democratic Party presidential aspirants Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton and California’s senators Barbara Boxer and Dianne Feinstein. He complained, “Obama’s a piece of shit, and I told him to suck on my machine gun.” Referring to Michigan governor Jennifer Granholm (in office 2003-11), during performances he would frequently interject “Jennifer Granholm, kiss my ass” into his songs, and shoot an arrow at her likeness. In a 2007 interview, in discussing running for governor of Michigan, he stated that Granholm “is not doing an ugly job, but as the perfect woman, she is scrotumless”.

Nugent’s most recent spew of hate speak might land him in jail however. Last week while giving a Mitt Romney stump speech at the 2012 NRA Convention in St. Louis, Nugent said, “If Barack Obama becomes the president in November, again, I will either be dead or in jail by this time next year.” He also compared the Obama administration to coyotes who needed to be shot, and encouraged voters to “chop [Democrats’] heads off in November.”

It would appear that Ted Nugent publicly proclaimed that he would attempt to assassinate or do harm to President Obama if he is elected again. Or, as CNN’s LZ Granderson put it, “A man with a truckload of guns has threatened the life of our president while the country’s at war.” In retrospect the recent comment about Ann Romney never having had a paying job in her life seems to pale in comparison.

Granderson went on to say,

Nugent’s words were: “If Barack Obama is elected, I’ll either be dead or in jail this time next year,” which sounds to me like he’s open to directing his disapproval of Obama in a way that is violent and unlawful. When you see that statement next to Nugent comparing Obama and his colleagues to coyotes that needed to be shot, as well as the need to “ride into that battlefield and chop their heads off in November,” I don’t see how that rant cannot be looked upon as a threat on the president’s life.

Ted Nugent’s words did not go unnoticed by the Secret Service however. He has been called in to speak with members of the agency who are responsible for guarding the President’s life today. Secret Service spokesman George Ogilvie confirmed that the agency was looking into the matter and said, “We are aware of the incident and we are taking appropriate follow-up.”

Looks like Ted Nugent may be forced to face the music.

Please remember to click on the song link below to not only familiarize yourselves with the tune but to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody which is based upon Ted Nugent’s only hit song.

“Cat Scratch Fever” song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WEcHcxW0nXE

RAT ASS FEVER

 (sung to the Ted Nugent song “Cat Scratch Fever”)

Well I don’t know where Ted comes from
But he sure is dumb
Fits in with the G.O.P.
But I do know Nugent blew-it
And he sure blew it good
They give his songs away for free

Ted gives me rat ass fever
Rat ass fever

Well the first time that I thought it
Was on his radio show
Ted’s songs and his monologue did bore
He is nothing but a shock jock
Talking bout a race war
And calling Democrats “whores”

Ted gives me rat ass fever
Rat ass fever
Ted has that rat ass fever
Rat ass fever

He’s not too dangerous
He’s got no brain
Ted Nugent’s stra-stra-strange
No doubt about it
He’s been goin’ insane
Soon he’ll be sayin’ “bye-bye”
He wants Obama dead

(jail break)

He’ll be doing the jail tour
For the things he has planned
They might just throw away the key
No more hate speech on his show
Ted Nugent’s sure to be banned
It should be years before he’s free

Ted gives me rat ass fever
Rat ass fever
Ted has that rat ass fever

Rat ass fever
Rat ass fever
Rat ass fever
Rat ass fever
Rat ass fever

GOP Rep. Allen “Wild Wild” West Is A Joke

The state of Florida is home to one of our nation’s most inept and moonbat-crazy members of Congress. I’m speaking of none other than Allen West, the self-proclaimed Tea Partier and former Army lieutenant who was relieved of his command and fined as the result of his violations of the Uniform Code of Military Justice.

West was elected to the U.S House of Representatives with a gang of other Tea Party supported Republicans in the 2010 mid-term elections. He was even endorsed by Sarah Palin, so that should tell you something. Since being elected he has not done much legislating, but he has revealed himself to be a suitable candidate for admittance to the psychiatric ward. Take a look at a few of the things he has publicly stated as reported in the Broward Palm Beach New Times:

!. He appears regularly on Fox News (where else?) where he has referred to President Barack Obama as a “low-level socialist agitator” whose “Marxist demagogic rhetoric” indicates a “Third World dictator-like arrogance.” ;

2. In remarks made to a conservative woman’s group in Boca Raton, Florida, West indicated how he wanted the United States to look: “In ancient days, the most feared, the most vicious warriors known to man were the Spartans,” said West. “Never known to retreat, never known to surrender.” He then told the women, Because the Spartan women at the age of 9 gave up their male sons, and their male sons went into a training that was called the Agoge and they stayed in that training for the next 11 to 12 years,” he said. “And when they finally qualified, when they were finally ready to join the ranks of the Spartan army, it was not their father who gave them their cloak and their shield. It was their mother who gave them their shield. And when the Spartan mother gave that young Spartan warrior his shield, she gave him this basic commandment: ‘Spartan, here is your shield. Come back wearing this shield or being borne upon it.'” What is West talking about? Is he advocating a military state?

  •  This is what Allen West had to say about critics of the Marines who urinated on the corpses of Taliban soldiers: “As for everyone else, unless you have been shot at by the Taliban, shut your mouth, war is hell.” Apparently, West is unaware that there’s a constitutional amendment that allows us to not shut our mouths, and it specifically prevents nuts like Allen West from making us do so.
  • The Palm Beach Post reports that West said this about Obama supporters: “I must confess, when I see anyone with an Obama 2012 bumper sticker, I recognize them as a threat to the gene pool.”
  • This is what West said to fellow Florida Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schultz in an email: “…You are the most vile, unprofessional, and despicable member of the US House of representatives…You have proven repeatedly that you are not a lady.”

Crazy stuff indeed, but let’s take a look at what Allen West said just this week about his fellow members of Congress. CNN reports, that when West was asked at a town hall meeting how many members of Congress are “card-carrying Marxists”, he responded by saying: “I believe there’s about 78 to 81 members of the Democratic Party that are members of the Communist Party.” He went on to say, “These members of Congress advocate the type of policies that have put Europe on the brink of economic and fiscal collapse, and are driving the United States in the same direction. ”

Wow! West is truly a modern age Joe McCarthy. Problem is, West seems ignorant of the fact that none of those European countries in economic turmoil are communist nations. Then again, ignorance has never been a stumbling block to advancement within the Republican Party. Just ask the aforementioned Sarah Palin who recently suggested Allen West as a possible GOP Vice Presidential nominee!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Strangers In The Night song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hlSbSKNk9f0&feature=related

STRANGE ONES ON THE RIGHT

(sung to the Frank Sinatra song “Strangers In The Night”)

Strange ones on the right,
Fox News romancers
Not so very bright,
With our finances
This Tea Party love
Should be viewed as taboo

Palin shouting lies
And fear inciting
Rand Paul is hostile
And so damn frightening
Boehner has no heart
McConnell has no clue

Strange ones on the right,
Abnormal people
They are strange ones on the right
Not one sane moment
They should be in a freak-show
Little do they know
It would just enhance our day
If like Bristol they’d dance away and –

And on Fox every night,
They’re all together
Lovers on the right
In love forever
It’s an ugly sight
Those strange ones on the right

(Tea-Bagging break)

Don’t look now just glance away
Here comes their jailbird Tom Delay

You can join their fight
And hang together
Only if you’re white
Birds of a feather
Taking their last flight
Those strange ones on the right

GOP’s “Jobs Bills” Lies Exposed

If there is one single thing the Republican Party excels at, it is telling lies. Remember Sarah Palin’s “Death Panels”? How about George W. Bush’s “Weapons of Mass Destruction”? There was Ronald Reagan’s “The U.S. does not negotiate with terrorists”. We heard Mitt Romney say “Obama has made the economy worse.” Newt Gingrich said, “The $1.6 million I was paid by Freddie Mac were for my services as, uh, a historian.” Ron Paul lied about his racist newsletters and Rick Santorum said, President Obama is “driven by a phony theology – not a theology based on the Bible.” Is it any wonder that polls have shown Republican approval ratings as low as 10%?

One of the GOP’s favorite lies which is repeated by just about all of them is that they (i.e. House Republicans) have passed 30 “jobs bills” that have just been sitting in the Senate. Speaker of the House John Boehner (pronounced bo-ner) said last Sunday on Fox news (where else?), “30 jobs bills were passed over the last year in a Republican House of Representatives that are sitting in the United States Senate — thirty. Our focus over the last 12 months has been on jobs. Our focus over the course of the next 12 months is going to be on jobs.” The Republicans even have a webpage with a list of their so-called jobs bills.

Unfortunately for Mr. Boehner and the Republicans, somebody has been keeping score. Crooksandliars.com has gone so far as to point out why each of those bills is not, in fact, a jobs bill at all. Indeed, it is humorous to note that the Republicans’ web page lists only 27 (not 30) bills. There is another lie to add to the ever-growing list. The following is a brief synopsis of each alleged “jobs bill” and why it is not a “jobs bill” at all:

HR 3630 – The Middle Class Tax Relief & Job Creation Act of 2011: It cuts the 99-week maximum down to a 59-week maximum by mid-2012, allow states to drug-test UI recipients, and allow states to reduce state unemployment benefits and substitute federal funds. It also cuts funding for key provisions of the Affordable Care Act coming online. It also repeals the new timing rules for estimated corporate tax payments for companies with assets of $1 billion or more so that they can use payments of estimated taxes as a timing tool for fourth quarter profit declarations. So, where is the job creation in this bill? None of those provisions create jobs.

HR 1633 – Farm Dust Regulation Prevention Act of 2011: This bill prevents the EPA from issuing or finalizing regulations revising air quality standards under the Clean Air Act, and excepts farm dust from all references to “particulate matter.” No jobs there.

HR 10 – Regulations from the Executive in Need of Scrutiny (REINS) Act of 2011: Guts the regulation process by mandating that every regulation promulgated be approved by Congress after an onerous submission process, while exempting any Congressional finding from judicial review. Call this one the Carte Blanche For Congress To Kill All Regulatory Authority Bill.  No jobs created by this bill.

HR 3010 – Regulatory Accountability Act of 2011: This is a modified, somewhat less onerous version of HR 10, setting guidelines for whether any regulations are warranted at all even if called for under a statute. Calling an anti-regulatory statute a jobs bill is a little like calling a half-built bridge infrastructure. So again, not a jobs bill.

HR 527 – Regulatory Flexibility Improvements Act of 2011: This bill would reduce regulatory requirements on small businesses by forcing an impact study with specific focus on small business before regulation is adopted. It would limit EPA, OSHA and CFPB regulations while presumably protecting “small” closely-held Subchapter S corporations like Koch Industries. Not a jobs bill.

HR 3012 – Fairness for High-Skilled Immigrants Act of 2011: This bill would expand job immigration beyond current limits by eliminating employment-based immigrant visa caps and raising the percentage of total visas granted to 15% from 7%. For this one, I’ll say it IS a jobs bill, but not a jobs bill for American workers. It is the “Elite Immigration Jobs Bill of 2011”.

HR 3094 – Workforce Democracy and Fairness Act: This bill redefines collective bargaining units and makes significant changes to election procedures, including one intended to intimidate employees: an employer-supplied list of eligible voters with contact information provided by the employee. Not a jobs bill. A union-buster bill.

HR 2930 – Entrepreneur Access to Capital Act:This bill exempts startups raising less than $1 million in venture capital from small investors from SEC registration and oversight. Not a jobs bill. An anti-regulatory bill.

HR 2940 – Access to Capital for Job Creators Act: This bill repeals prohibitions on solicitation or advertising of a securities offering. It’s a companion to HR 2930, and is intended to allow people with no relationship to a startup company to invest in it without any oversight by the SEC. Let’s call this and its evil twins HR 2930 and HR 1965 the “Ponzi Scheme Coverup Acts of 2011”

HR 1965 – Securities Laws Amendment: This bill changes the shareholder threshhold for SEC registration from 500 to 2000 shareholders. It’s not a jobs bill. It’s a “hide from the SEC” bill. Its companion, HR 1970, would exempt SEC registration of public offerings under $50 million rather than the current $5 million threshold.

Many More EPA Acts: So many they don’t deserve to be broken down individually. HR 2273 removes coal ash regulation from the EPA and hands it to the states. HR 2681 would put a legislative stay on cement manufacturing emission standards. HR 2250 would put a legislative stay on EPA boiler MACT rules. HR 2401 would require analysis of all EPA regulations relating to air, waste, water and climate change. HR 2018 would restrict EPA from issuing any revisions to existing water standards or issuing a new standard for a pollutant if the state has already adopted one or there is an existing standard in place. In other words, ignore any new scientific research after an initial standard has been set. HR 2021 amends the Clean Air Act to open oil and gas exploration off the Alaska coast. HR 910 strips the EPA of authority to regulate greenhouse gases under the Clean Air Act, a direct assault on efforts to limit man-made contributions to climate change. HR 872 expands the use of pesticides, fungicides and rodent without EPA approval. Not a job created in any of these bills.

Many More Oil and Gas Drilling Acts: There is HR 1231, which would require the Administration to allow offshore oil and gas drilling and exploration in order to meet set domestic production goals, effectively forcing the moratorium on offshore drilling to be lifted to meet goals. HR 1229 requires the Energy Secretary to consider any offshore drilling permits within 30 days of receiving it and provide application denials in writing within 60 days of the application. Another “forced moratorium lift” bill. HR 1230 forces sales of oil leases in the Gulf of Mexico and Outer Continental Shelf of Virginia. It also lifts requirements for environmental impact statements and grandfathers in a 2007 document as authority for environmental impact. No new jobs created here either.

Special Interest Legislation, or Pandering to Corporate Interests

  • HR 1904 proposes an exchange of land so that Resolution Copper, LLC can mine copper on what is now part of the Tonto National Forest.
  • HJ Res 37 is a resolution of disapproval on net neutrality.
  • HR 2587 prohibits the NLRB from restricting where an employer can locate. This is in response to the NLRB’s objection to the Boeing plant relocation to South Carolina, a right-to-work state.

These would fall under the anti-labor, anti-environment categories, but not particularly effective job creators. In fact, in Boeing’s case, the jobs lost would hurt the economy more than jobs created in a right-to-work state where employers are not obligated to adhere to industry standards on contracts, safety or other issues.

Republicans passing jobs bills? Nope. Just more GOP lies.

Today’s song parody takes a rapid-fire look at Republicans past, present and future. Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.

We Didn’t Start The Fire song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eFTLKWw542g&ob=av2e

WE DIDN’T START THE LYING

(sung to the Billy Joel song “We Didn’t Start The Fire”)

Ronald Reagan, Larry Craig, Mark Sanford, Tom Delay
Michelle Malkin, Michele Bachmann, “Goin’ with the flow”

Joe McCarthy, Richard Nixon, Howard Baker, lack of vision
Spreading Fear, Acting queer, and ole Sixpack Joe

No icebergs, H-Bomb, “Pay for play”, “Hockey Mom”
Landrieu, Hamid Karzai, and that Michael Savage guy

Ivy tower, Van Flein, Tea-bagger party scene
Party of “No”, Tim Pawlenty, Let’s watch Glenn Beck cry

These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it

Vitter’s fallin’, Ginny Foxx, Boehner and Inhofe
Mitch McConnell, small umbrella, Talking the talk

Spin Zone, Rent to own, Straight martini, Bank loan
Russian view and Pastor Haggard’s flock

Sex crimes, Grassley, John McCain is “Mavericky”
Lining pockets, health care plan, Giuliani, Limbaugh Land

Barrasso, Fake protest, Tom “The Hammer”, Chambliss
Senate race, Lack of grace, and Melvin Martinez

These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it

Loaded Glock, SarahPAC, Sam Alito, Johnny Mack
Jindal, Right to die, Tripp’s father is Levi

Pentagon, Border wall, We must deport them all
Bed-wetters, genocide, No assisted suicide

Bush’s folly, Torture, Dick Cheney, Blackwater
Hate groups, Castro, John Ensign and his ‘ho

First Dude, Hannity, Mann Coulter and O’Reilly
Scooter Libby, Karl Rove, Sarah Palin’s “Sixpack Joes”

These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it

Kay Bailey, Muslims, K Street is full of bums
Villains, Pearlman, Iraqi Invasion

Health reform hysteria, Sarah Palin mania
Shameless G-Men, War in Afghanistan

Ron Paul, Airport sex, They don’t want no litmus test
Kneel and pray, Always “nay”, Can’t get married if you’re gay

These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it

Birth control, Lives of sin, They like folks that have white skin
Buckshot, Dow stock, Loud mouthed chicken-hawks
Takin’ Bacon, Palestine, Palin is no friend of mine
Now they have nukes in Iran, Couldn’t stop the Taliban

Makin’ fortunes, Soldiers die, Did we mention Glenn Beck cried?
Foreign debts, Homeless vets, Exposed by three jets
We voted them out the door, Now they’re just a mouse that roars
Spider holes and unjust wars, I can’t take them anymore.

These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it
(repeat chorus to fade)

The Difference Between Democrats And Republicans

As we have said here before, sometimes you simply cannot say something better than somebody else already has. Today is one of those days when we demonstrate what that means. The wonderful folks over at AddictingInfo.org recently posted a column titled, “Fifteen Differences Between Democrats And Republicans”. It is spot, so please enjoy. when you finish, please head on over to the website for more great stuff!

Republicans fear that the government has too much control over corporations. Democrats fear that corporations have too much control over our government.

Democrats believe it benefits all of us to help the weakest and the poorest among us. Republicans believe it benefits all of us to help the wealthiest and most powerful among us.

Republicans believe large corporations will always do what is best for the American people if the government stays out of the way. Democrats believe large corporations would disembowel you and sell your organs to the highest bidder if the government didn’t stop them.

Democrats believe everyone is entitled to health care regardless of their ability to pay. Republicans believe everyone is entitled to jack squat if they can’t pay for health care.

Democrats believe too much of our money goes to crooked corporate executives who take government subsidies and pay themselves $80 million salaries. Republicans believe too much of our money goes to teachers who make $30,000 a year.

Democrats believe anything that helps the American people during a recession or a time of crisis is the true essence of patriotism. Republicans believe anything that helps the American people during a recession or a time of crisis is the true essence of communism.

Democrats believe that we need to set high standards for clean air and drinking water. Republicans believe that standards for clean air and water are burdensome over-regulation.

Democrats believe the President and Congress need to work together to create jobs during a weak economy. Republicans believe that Congress should do nothing to create jobs and then blame the President.

Democrats believe that corporate polluters should be made to pay for the cleanup of their pollution. Republicans believe that making corporations clean up their pollution is burdensome over-regulation.

Democrats believe our health care system exists solely for the purpose of making people healthy. Republicans believe our health care system exists solely for the purpose of making a healthy profit.

Democrats believe Congress should be of the people, by the people and for the people. Republicans believe corporations are the people.

Democrats believe that corporations have too much influence over Congress due to their lobbyists and huge campaign contributions. Republicans believe the middle class has too much influence over Congress due to their voting and paying taxes.

Democrats believe we need to protect victims of corporate negligence by allowing Americans to file lawsuits against corporations. Republicans believe we need to protect large corporations from lawsuits by Americans who’ve been victimized by them.

Democrats believe that the rich should be taxed more than the poor and middle class. Republicans believe that the rich should be allowed to keep all their wealth, except for the millions in campaign contributions they give to politicians.

Democrats believe that too much money in politics produces corruption and destroys the American way of life. Republicans believe that money and corruption in politics are the American way of life.

Once again, please visit Addicting Info!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

California Dreamin’ song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2xN9r0bWe78

CONSERVATIVE DREAMIN’

(sung to the Mamas & The Papas song “California Dreamin’”)

All their shirts are brown
(All their shirts are brown)
And their hair is grey
(And their hair is grey)
Listen to them talk
(Listen to them talk)
As they loudly pray
(As they loudly pray)
Scandal is their norm
(Scandal is their norm)
They have one every day
(They have one every day)
Conservative dreamin’
(Conservative dreamin’)
And politics of hate

Members of John Birch
Some won’t admit they’re gay
But when they get down on their knees
(Get down on their knees)
That’s when they like to play
(When they like to play)
These slimy creatures should be told
(Creatures should be told)
Membership’s gone away
(Members gone away)
Conservative dreamin’
(Conservative dreamin’)
Has led them all astray

(hypocrisy break)

Trump he was a clown
(Trump he was a clown)
Gingrich had his day
(Gingrich had his day)
Palin cannot talk
(Palin cannot talk)
She’s no Tina Fey
(She’s no Tina Fey)
Somebody should tell her
(Somebody should tell her)
To just go away
(To just go away)
Conservative dreamin’
(Conservative dreamin’)
Has become so cliché
(Conservative dreamin’)
Has lost all its cache´
(Conservative dreamin’)
Drives voters all away

Carville Carves Up Republican Presidential Candidates

Sometimes you must honestly admit that someone else has addressed a topic in a far better than you could have done yourself. Such is the case for me today.

On Saturday, Democratic strategist James Carville wrote a column which was posted on the CNN website here. It is titled “Carville to GOP: You have a disaster on your hands” and it is a gem. It colorfully describes the mess that is the field of Republican Presidential candidates. Here are some of my favorite excerpts:

I mean, most people thought it was kind of a watermark when your Tea Party gang booed the golden rule (at the Fox Debate). You know, I’ve spent some time in Philly and they have always thought they were pretty radical because they actually booed Santa Claus and Willie Mays. Philly, I’ve got news for you — you ain’t got nothing on South Carolina Republicans. They just aren’t buying any of that do-unto-others garbage.”

Here is another beauty:

“I actually thought my favorite moment of this delightful process was when one of your eight front-runners, Herb Cain, (as Sarah Palin calls him) actually ran an ad with his campaign manager endorsing him. (Rove, why didn’t you think of that in 2000? Imagine the headline: “Rove endorses Bush.”)”

This sums up Mitt Romney’s campaign pretty well:

“At any rate, let’s talk a minute about Mitt. He was your guy — he was methodical, meticulous, married once. He has completely blown himself up over an issue that everyone knew was coming. Have you had a chance to look at John McCain’s research operation on Mitt? Wow. And let me assure you, that thing has been supplemented, expanded, and annotated. God only knows about the Obama people — they’ve got a billion dollars! And how about my friends over at American Bridge, the Democrat-leaning political action committee? Clearly Mitt is merely in the beginning of this tax-return, financial-disclosure, Cayman Island (and God only knows what else) fiasco.”

This is what he had to say about Newt Gingrich:

“Your new front-runner is one of your old front runners, Newt Gingrich. I would like to take a moment to revel: I cannot personally tell you how pleased I am to see old Newt rise to the top after listening to all of your nauseating, sickening lectures on the evils of government and the importance of family values.Now, you guys have to deal with a $1.6 million Freddie Mac consultant (who says he wasn’t a lobbyist) who has been married three times. Hope you, at least, enjoy the Super Bowl. It could be your last hurrah for a while.”

Finally, he concluded with this:

“PS — As my former boss once said, I feel your pain. That’s why I didn’t mention Rick Perry.”

Bravo Mr. Carville! Priceless stuff!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

“All Together Now” song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LtjhW-ERoak

ALL TOGETHER NOW

 (sung to the Beatles song “All Together Now”)

One, two, three, four
Rick Perry’s a Texan whore
Five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten I loathe you

A, B, C, D
Bachmann’s drinking too much tea
E, F, G, H, I, J I loathe you

Boom, bam, boom
Boom, bam, boom

Mitt’s a dip
Boom, bam, boom
Newt’s crazy
Boom, bam, boom
Paul’s a dope
Boom, bam, boom
Where’s Christie?

All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now

Black, white, green, red
Listen to what Herm Cain said
Pink, brown, yellow, orange and blue I loathe you

All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now

Rick’s a twit
Boom, bam, boom
Jon’s a dweeb
Boom, bam, boom
Not a hope
Boom, bam, boom
Nobodies!

All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now….