Monthly Archives: July 2010

Saturday Night Music Byte

Lynnrockets recently watched the film Julie & Julia about a thirty year old New Yorker who decided to cook every dish in one of Julia Childs’ cookbooks and to blog about it. It was a novel idea so we decided to copy it. No, we will not be cooking in the usual sense (that could start a fire). Rather, we will adapt the recipe a day concept to our nightly music bytes. From now to infinity (didn’t somebody else coin that phrase?) we will post a music video and brief description of the artist or song in a sort of alphabetical order as culled from Tom Moon’s wonderful reference book, 1,000 Recordings To Hear Before You Die (A Listener’s Life List). The book describes both whole albums (remember those) and individual songs from all music genres that are essential listening. Do yourselves a favor and purchase this book. Where the book deals with an individual song, we will post that song, but when an entire album is the subject, we will exercise judicial discretion and post a single song therefrom. So what do you say, let’s get cooking…

P

Eddie Palmieri – La perfecta – “Conmigo” (1962)

“When Eddie Palmieri mad La perfecta, his first solo record, in 1962, he’s spent years paying dues in New York’s finest mambo big bands, serving the needs of discerning dancers. The pianist and composer borrowed ideas from those bands, added dashes of jazz irreverence, and convinced an unflappable young singer (Ismael Quintana) and a bunch of precision-minded instrumentalists to join what he envisioned as a high energy combo. The group quickly evolved into a perfectly proportioned rhythmic juggernaut: its aptly titled debut endures as one of the most exciting in the history of Latin music.”

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Oops, She Did It Again! (Sarah Palin Redux)

As you all know by now, Harper Collins will release Sarah Palin’s new work of fiction on November 23, 2010. This time however, there will be no question as to who actually wrote the book. You might recall that the educationally limited Palin was forced to employ a ghost-writer to pen her autobiography. That would seem especially strange inasmuch as Palin claims to have achieved a degree in journalism (after 6 years and 5 sub-par colleges). Then again, we have all been subjected to enough of Palin’s tweets, Facebook posts and speeches to realize that she is essentially illiterate. So this time Palin has elected to dispense with the subterfuge (and criticism of the use of a ghost-writer) and simply release a book filled with the written works of others.

That’s right, in America By Heart, the former half term ex-quitting governor of Alaska, Fox News consultant, reality tv host and new BFF of Kate with 8 will reveal the sacred and personal nature of her love for our nation by simply pasting together a buffet of sermons, poems, speeches and essays which were authored by other people. Palin claims that these written pieces are the ones that “have moved her”. As HarperCollins puts it, the book will include…

“the nation’s founding documents, to great speeches, sermons, letters, literature and poetry, biography, and even some of her favorite songs and movies.” (Favorite songs? Do you think she might include any of the Lynnrockets parodies?).

Seriously, would Sarah Palin ever dare to honestly reveal to the world the readings, sermons, songs and movies that inspired her? For example, will she tell us about the sermon that inspired her to have the witches driven from her body in that Youtube clip that everyone has seen? Will she reveal that the film Ferris Bueller’s Day Off inspired her to skip so many classes that it took her over 6 years to earn a mere bachelor’s degree from a series of second rate colleges? Will she actually admit that she was inspired by the little known book, Sarah, Plain and Stupid? Will she explain how the “founding fathers” of the secessionist Alaska Independence Party (the AIP) inspired her to promote the party when she was Governor (and inspired “First Dude” Todd to actually register with the Party)? Would she ever dare to fess-up to the fact that her post-governorship career was inspired by the song, “Barbie Girl” (if you are not familiar with this song, click here)?

Who knows what the 2009 “Liar of the Year” will include in her new tome. Stay tuned for its release on November 23rd as Sarah Palin is sure to put the Bible in bibliotheque. Until then, please enjoy today’s topical song parody.

In honor of the troops, please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the song parody.

Paperback Writer song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pwap79uy1G8

PAPERBACK WRITER

(sung to the Beatles song “Paperback Writer”)

Paperback writer (paperback writer)

Dear Rush and Coulter, will you read my tome?
It took a year to write in my Wasilla home
It’s based on the life of a political hack
And I take a few shots at  Johnny Mac as a paperback writer,
Paperback writer

A book of topics that I want a say on,
Which I wrote with finger-paints and a crayon.
It was edited by Todd the school drop-out,
He can’t read too well but he loves me as a paperback writer
Paperback writer

Paperback writer (paperback writer)

It’s got twenty pages give or take a few,
And it has some pictures that Piper drew.
I threw in an old joke that Bristol once told
It’s a real page turner and I want to be a paperback writer,
Paperback writer

My new book will appeal to those on the right
And everyone that is straight, racist and white.
Bill O’Reilly will love it, please have no fear,
I sure needed a boost and now I can be a paperback writer.
Paperback writer

Paperback writer (paperback writer)

Paperback writer – paperback writer
Paperback writer – paperback writer
(fading)

Friday Night Music Byte

Lynnrockets recently watched the film Julie & Julia about a thirty year old New Yorker who decided to cook every dish in one of Julia Childs’ cookbooks and to blog about it. It was a novel idea so we decided to copy it. No, we will not be cooking in the usual sense (that could start a fire). Rather, we will adapt the recipe a day concept to our nightly music bytes. From now to infinity (didn’t somebody else coin that phrase?) we will post a music video and brief description of the artist or song in a sort of alphabetical order as culled from Tom Moon’s wonderful reference book, 1,000 Recordings To Hear Before You Die (A Listener’s Life List). The book describes both whole albums (remember those) and individual songs from all music genres that are essential listening. Do yourselves a favor and purchase this book. Where the book deals with an individual song, we will post that song, but when an entire album is the subject, we will exercise judicial discretion and post a single song therefrom. So what do you say, let’s get cooking…

O

Sinead O’Connor – I Do Not Want What I Haven’t Got – “Black Boys On Mopeds” (1990)

“With this bracing album Sinead O’Connor expanded the notion of what a female singer-songwriter could be. A wild child with a shaved head, a voice like a siren and knack for audacious hijinks. Most of the songs deal with the topics favored by countless sensitive gals – stormy relationships with parents, friends, and uncaring lovers. The difference is in the stance: O’Connor approaches each tune like she’s poised for a confrontation. Or recovering from one. This album is essential listening just for O’Connor’s dramatic turn-on-a-dime vocal performances. One of the best: a scathing comment on British racism, “Black Boys On Mopeds”.”

Sarah Palin Wallows In The Meyer

The serial endorser from Wasilla has struck again. Sarah Palin, the ex-quitting half term governor of Alaska has announced (via the sophomoric medium of Facebook, of course) that she is endorsing Republican Rita Meyer as governor of Wyoming. It goes without saying however, that Palin’s posting was both unintelligible and superficial. Here it is:

Voters know that Rita has a unique blend of steel magnolia and mama grizzly. Her true grit has not escaped the eye of other Americans who know that at every level of political office we all benefit with commonsense constitutional conservatives in service.

Oh, where to begin? Well first of all, Palin resorted to her common-man pop culture references with “steel magnolia” and her newly coined “mama grizzly”. What the heck is the message she is trying to convey with the reference to “steel magnolia”? Is she referring to the 1987 stage play, the 1989 comedy-drama film, or the country music duo that won season two of the television talent show Can You Duet ? In typical Palin self-induced confusion, her analogy is indecipherable. And “mama grizzly”? We guess that means that Meyer is another white, anti-feminist, abrasive, uncontrollable wild beast like Carly Fiorina, Sharron Angle and Palin herself.

Moving right along, we then get to the part that says, “Her true grit has not escaped the eye of other Americans.” She included the predictable and obligatory pop culture John Wayne “true grit” reference of course. But what can be made of the rest of her sentence? Meyer “has not escaped the eye of other Americans”? Honestly, has anyone outside of Wyoming ever heard of Rita Meyer? Is she perhaps related to Oscar?

It is becoming more and more apparent that Sarah Palin is frantically searching the country for female Republican candidates to endorse on a weekly basis. It is also apparent however, that she knows little to nothing about these candidates nor does she care. Sarah Palin simply wants to ensure that her name surfaces in the media as often as possible. She is a narcissist of the highest degree.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Light My Fire song Link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VxMaE8dPfQs&feature=related

SHE’S A LIAR

(sung to the Doors song “Light My Fire”)

You know that her words ring untrue
You know that Sarah P.’s a liar
Now she’s endorsed someone new
A white chick known as Rita Meyer

Who the hell is Rita Meyer?
Who the hell is Rita Meyer?
Now she is in Palin’s choir!

She saw Obama on The View
Jealousy could get no higher
She had to get on Fox News
So she went and endorsed Rita Meyer

Who the hell is Rita Meyer?
Who the hell is Rita Meyer?
Will her profile now get higher?

(insrumental)

She hasn’t got a God damned clue
“Death Panels” proved she is a liar
“Mama Grizzlies” is a ruse
To ignite a hate fueled right-wing fire

Sarah Palin is a liar
Sarah Palin is a liar
Shouting out like the town crier

You know that her words ring untrue
You know that Sarah P.’s a liar
If I was to say to you,
“Girl, why don’t you just retire?”

Sarah Palin is a liar
Sarah Palin is a liar
Fueling hate filled right-wing fire
Fueling hate filled right-wing fire
Fueling hate filled right-wing fire
Fueling hate filled right-wing fire

Thursday Night Music Byte

Lynnrockets recently watched the film Julie & Julia about a thirty year old New Yorker who decided to cook every dish in one of Julia Childs’ cookbooks and to blog about it. It was a novel idea so we decided to copy it. No, we will not be cooking in the usual sense (that could start a fire). Rather, we will adapt the recipe a day concept to our nightly music bytes. From now to infinity (didn’t somebody else coin that phrase?) we will post a music video and brief description of the artist or song in a sort of alphabetical order as culled from Tom Moon’s wonderful reference book, 1,000 Recordings To Hear Before You Die (A Listener’s Life List). The book describes both whole albums (remember those) and individual songs from all music genres that are essential listening. Do yourselves a favor and purchase this book. Where the book deals with an individual song, we will post that song, but when an entire album is the subject, we will exercise judicial discretion and post a single song therefrom. So what do you say, let’s get cooking…

N

Fats Navarro and Tadd Dameron – The Complete Blue Note and Capitol Recordings

Tom Moon says, “This compilation documents the brief, extraordinary collaboration of two woefully overlooked jazz geniuses. The material comes from the pen of pianist and composer Tadd Dameron (1917-1965), whose tricky yet supremely logical tunes balance bebob macho against a warm-hearted lyricism. Taking these pieces to the next level is the trumpeter Fats Navarro (1923-1950), a fireballer with a radiant tone and technique  to burn, whose recording career only lasted four years.”

“Not every speed demon could handle Dameron’s compositions, which are far more demanding than the typical heat-and-serve jam session riffs. Navarro, begins his turn on Dameron’s bebop agility course “Our delight” with clipped single notes, then broad and effusive lines that carry the distant hint of taunting blues. His solo ends with an ascending series of perfectly placed triplets that’s so precise it seems to startle the rhythm section.”

Judge Smacks Down Portions Of Illegal Arizona Immigration Law

Federal District Judge, Susan Bolton has temporarily blocked the most contentious portions of Arizona’s new immigration law on the eve of its implementation. Yesterday, her court issued a preliminary injunction which prevents the State of Arizona from authorizing its police to question people about their immigration status. She also blocked provisions of the law making it a crime to fail to apply for or carry alien registration papers or “for an unauthorized alien to solicit, apply for or perform work,” and a provision “authorizing the warrantless arrest of a person” if there is reason to believe that person might be subject to deportation.

The federal government opposed the Arizona law because it infringed upon the federal government’s exclusive jurisdiction over immigration laws. The Justice Department successfully claimed that a patchwork of state and local policies would seriously disrupt federal immigration enforcement and would ultimately be counterproductive.

The state of Arizona now has only two options available. It can ask the judge to reconsider her order after more fact finding or it can appeal the case to the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals. The latter is more likely.

So, for the time being,  legal immigrants and citizens of brown complexion can travel throughout Arizona without fear of being asked for “their papers” Thank goodness for that. But we can only wait to hear the reaction from Rush Limbaugh, Michele Bachmann, the Tea Party and Sarah Palin and her cohorts over at Fox News. Do you think Glenn Beck might summon a few crocodile tears for his country? Will Lou Dobbs spontaneously combust? Will John McCain flip-flop again? To learn the answers, tune in tomorrow to Lynnrockets’ Blast-Off; same time, same channel.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Arizona song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yhdiSqt6sXE

ARIZONA

(sung to the Mark Lindsay song “Arizona”)

I sure do long for San Francisco
This Arizona day
They just pulled over ol’ Pedro and Cisco
Racism has its way
Police don’t believe in brotherhood or neighborhood
If your skin is brown, you’re prey
And Jan Brewer we all laugh at her
As she initiates the neo-Nazi ways

Arizona – take off your racist shades
Arizona – have another look at the world
My, my
Arizona – don’t follow John McCain
Arizona – hey, put down that Kool-Aid

Mmmm try as you might, you’ll never solve your problems by deporting a child
Coat them in red paint as you place them in shackled restraints
Arizona – you’ve made the evening news
Arizona – You’ll have pure white highways

Lock them both up, Pedro and Cisco
Make them sit there and wait
As the wheels of justice turn so slow
Just stare at them with hate
And you can tell them that brotherhood and neighborhood
Is the Arizonan way
But you and they know it’s an untrue fable
To justify locking them away

Arizona – now you resemble Hades
Arizona – you’ll soon be cut off from the world
My, my
Arizona – don’t follow John McCain
Arizona – wake up and use your brain

Hey, Arizona – discard your racist views
Arizona – you’ll soon be cut off from the world
My, my
Arizona – next will it be the Jews?
Arizona – wake up and use your brain

Come on, hey, Arizona – cast off your racist ways.

Wednesday Night Music Byte

The Hilliard Ensemble

Lynnrockets recently watched the film Julie & Julia about a thirty year old New Yorker who decided to cook every dish in one of Julia Childs’ cookbooks and to blog about it. It was a novel idea so we decided to copy it. No, we will not be cooking in the usual sense (that could start a fire). Rather, we will adapt the recipe a day concept to our nightly music bytes. From now to infinity (didn’t somebody else coin that phrase?) we will post a music video and brief description of the artist or song in a sort of alphabetical order as culled from Tom Moon’s wonderful reference book, 1,000 Recordings To Hear Before You Die (A Listener’s Life List). The book describes both whole albums (remember those) and individual songs from all music genres that are essential listening. Do yourselves a favor and purchase this book. Where the book deals with an individual song, we will post that song, but when an entire album is the subject, we will exercise judicial discretion and post a single song therefrom. So what do you say, let’s get cooking…

M

The Hilliard Ensemble – Motets (Guillaume de Machaut)

Tom Moon tells us, “The next time you feel yourself numbed by the lockstep hammering of contemporary music, slip into this medieval marvel. Guillaume de Machaut lived in fourteenth century France. He was one of the few medieval composers who left detailed instructions about how his work was to be performed. This 2004 recording of The Motets features England’s Hilliard Ensemble”.

Levi Johnston Says, “I Want MY MTV”

As we’ve said so many times in the past, sometimes these blog entries and song parodies simply write themselves. Today is one of those instances.

The reunited Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston had allegedly shopped around for a reality television series chronicling their upcoming wedding and early day-to-day marriage life. Their efforts failed however, after the networks decided that they were not entertaining and hence were unmarketable. Their joint dreams of fame were at least temporarily squashed, but Levi had another plan. Only this time, Bristol was not in the mix.

Plan B? Well, it has now been revealed that Johnston, the former nude model, will appear in an R&B music video in which he will play a young man driven away from his love interest by the young woman’s mother. Gee, that sounds rather autobiographical doesn’t it? The actual R&B artist is someone known as Brittani Senser.

This should absolutely send Sarah Palin over the edge. It is clear that the half-term, ex-quitting Governor of Alaska is not pleased that her formerly unmarried pregnant teen daughter will now tie the knot with the child’s uneducated and unemployed father. Sarah Palin is a revenge seeker of the highest order (see, Mike Wooten, David Letterman, Joe McGinniss and Lisa Murkowski) and she will be enraged at the fact that the narrative of the song reflects her own previous treatment of Johnston. Remember when she castigated Johnston on Oprah for pursuing a career in porn? It remains to be seen how Sarah “Plain and Stupid” will exact her revenge at this thinly veiled slight by Johnston.

Will she for instance, boycott the wedding? Will she attend the wedding but forget to bring a gift? Will she plan and pay for the newlyweds’ honeymoon trip maybe to North Korea or Iran? Will she hire a ghostwriter to pen a tell-all tome of Johnston? Better yet, perhaps Sarah will utilize a tete-for-tete strategy by means of appearing in her own music video in which she tells the tale of an impregnating stalker of innocent teens. Johnston must be warned that revenge is a dish best served cold.

In honor of the troops, today’s song parody musically illustrates the intriguing Sarah Palin/Levi Johnston relationship. Remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.

The Ballad Of John And Yoko song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_t3oaPNJieg

THE BALLAD OF SARAH AND LEVI (PART II)

(Sung to the Beatles song “The Ballad of John and Yoko”)

Posing in a condo in New York,
Levi about to remove his pants
He now has a knack
To annoy SarahPAC
Yet most of them will still want to take a glance

Christ you know it ain’t easy,
You know how hard it can be,
To play second fiddle,
To the Caribou-Barbie.

Sarah claims that she is embarrassed
Really, she just envies his fame
Katie Couric did say,
“Can you pray away gay?”
“And can you point out some newspapers by name?”.

Christ you know it ain’t easy,
Those interviews on TV.
Reviews were not glowing
For the brain-dead Sarah P.

Levi’s camped-out in the Hollywood Hilton,
Media folks want him to speak
The newspapers said,
“What’s going on in your head?”
He said that, “soon I will be on MTV”

Christ you know he loves TV,
His part should earn him a fee
And he loves annoying
His mother-in-law to be

Earning every penny for a rainy day,
Tricking Bristol into marrying,
Know what Sarah said?
“Soon he will be dead!”
But then she will be haunted by his ghost – Think!

Maybe she’ll have Levi arrested.
Palin dignity in free-fall.
Young Bristol will claim,
“My mom is to blame,”
“She always has her henchmen on call”

Christ you know she’s so sleazy
She lies so effortlessly
But Levi is going,
To crucify Sarah P.

How did Mac choose Sarah to begin with?
She is just a political hack.
A dumb “hockey mom”,
That can’t think and chew gum.
Why didn’t he select “Joe Sixpack?”

Christ she makes us uneasy.
In Yiddish we say, “Oy Vey.”
We’d love to replace her
With our good friend, Tina Fey.
We’d love to replace her
With our good friend, Tina Fey.

Tuesday Night Music Byte

Lynnrockets recently watched the film Julie & Julia about a thirty year old New Yorker who decided to cook every dish in one of Julia Childs’ cookbooks and to blog about it. It was a novel idea so we decided to copy it. No, we will not be cooking in the usual sense (that could start a fire). Rather, we will adapt the recipe a day concept to our nightly music bytes. From now to infinity (didn’t somebody else coin that phrase?) we will post a music video and brief description of the artist or song in a sort of alphabetical order as culled from Tom Moon’s wonderful reference book, 1,000 Recordings To Hear Before You Die (A Listener’s Life List). The book describes both whole albums (remember those) and individual songs from all music genres that are essential listening. Do yourselves a favor and purchase this book. Where the book deals with an individual song, we will post that song, but when an entire album is the subject, we will exercise judicial discretion and post a single song therefrom. So what do you say, let’s get cooking…

L

Lambert, Hendricks and Ross – “Cloudburst” (1960)

Lambert, Hendricks & Ross was a vocalese trio formed by jazz vocalists Dave Lambert, Jon Hendricks and Annie Ross. Vocalese is a vocal technique in which instrumental jazz solos are transformed into cr4azy torrents of words that somehow become a story.

Sarah Palin, The Horse’s Ass

Sarah_television2

Does anybody remember the 1960′s television sitcom, Mr. Ed, which starred Mr. Ed the talking horse? The more we think about it, Alaska’s governor, Sarah Palin reminds us of a talking horse’s ass. Here are some examples:

1.  “Well, let’s see. There’s ― of course in the great history of America there have been rulings that there’s never going to be absolute consensus by every American, and there are those issues, again, like Roe v. Wade, where I believe are best held on a state level and addressed there. So, you know, going through the history of America, there would be others but ―” –Sarah Palin, unable to name a Supreme Court decision she disagreed with other than Roe vs. Wade, interview with Katie Couric, CBS News, Oct. 1, 2008;

2.  “They are also building schools for the Afghan children so that there is hope and opportunity in our neighboring country of Afghanistan.” –Sarah Palin, speaking at a fundraiser in San Francisco, Oct. 5, 2008;

3.  “If [the media] convince enough voters that that is negative campaigning, for me to call Barack Obama out on his associations then I don’t know what the future of our country would be in terms of First Amendment rights and our ability to ask questions without fear of attacks by the mainstream media.” –Sarah Palin, getting First Amendment rights backwards while suggesting that criticism of her is unconstitutional, radio interview with WMAL-AM, Oct. 31, 2008; and of course, this gem…

4. “As Putin rears his head and comes into the air space of the United States of America, where– where do they go? It’s Alaska. It’s just right over the border.” –Sarah Palin, explaining why Alaska’s proximity to Russia gives her foreign policy experience, interview with CBS’s Katie Couric, Sept. 24, 2008

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Mr. Ed TV theme link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z2AlIhBFtLo

SARAH P.

(Sung to the TV theme of “Mr. Ed”)

Hello, I’m Sarah P.

An ass is an ass, alas, alas,
And we all know the eyeglassed lass.
She is the ass with the balls of brass, the clueless Sarah P.

Go to her witch mass and ask this ass
but her answer is timed with an hourglass.
You’ll feel like you’re in a morass.
Talk to Sarah P.

She will yakkity yak a streak and waste your time of day.
Her incoherent ramblings reveal she has nothing to
say.

An ass is an ass, alas, alas,
And this one is queen of her own subclass.
You’ve never talked to a big jackass?

Well listen to this.

I AM SARAH P.