“Diaper” Dave Vitter Does A Dirty

Senator David Vitter (R) Lousiana has become another gift that keeps on giving. Just a few years ago the philandering “family values” Republican was revealed to be a repeat customer of a prostitution ring. To add insult to injury, his favorite hooker also revealed that the big baby liked to don diapers during his sessions. You would think that a revelation such as that would have caused the G.O.P. leadership to call for his resignation but such was not the case. You see, the Governor of Louisiana was a Democrat and under state law she would have been allowed to appoint Vitter’s replacement. Hence the “do as we say, not as we do” Republicans turned a blind eye to Diaper Dave’s transgressions.

Now Vitter’s embarrassing past may finally catch up to him. Charlie Melancon, the Democratic Senate nominee in Louisiana, plans to run a two-minute television ad as early as Wednesday night addressing his GOP opponent’s 2007 prostitution scandal. Let’s take a look, shall we?

Yikes, the poop doesn’t fall far from the Pampers!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Walk Like An Egyptian song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lc5jjHhD9BY

WALK WITH AN ERECTION

(sung to the Bangles song “Walk Like An Egyptian”)

All the G.O.P.s in bedrooms
They do the sex dance with their hoes
They’re getting their kicks (oh whey oh)
They think that their wives will never know

There sat Larry Craig with a smile
Hoping to score a tete-a-tete
He set for awhile (oh whey oh)
On the airport Men’s Room toilet

Cleans his pipe with a Handy Wipe play
Ay oh whey oh, ay oh whey oh
Walk with an erection

Mark Sanford goes missing for days
In South America for a score
He’s got the moves (oh whey oh)
But he’s a fink and his gal’s a whore

John Ensign met his while at work
Along with her son and her husband
He paid them like kings (oh whey oh)
No talking of his erection

All the guys in the G.O.P. say
Ay oh whey oh, ay oh whey oh
Walk with an erection

(musical interlude)

Newt Gingrich left his wife with no tact
In the cancer ward on her back
Life is hard you know (oh whey oh)
He even took her new Cadillac

Mark Vitter pulled out all the stops
His escorts charged him the very tops
They sing and dance (oh whey oh)
Spent his way right into hawk

Then there’s Mark Foley with his men
He says he won’t do it again
But those heinies know (oh whey oh)
He works with a big erection

All the boys in the G.O.P. say
Ay oh whey oh, ay oh whey oh
Walk with an erection
Walk with an erection

Christine O’Donnell’s Political Piggies

Who could have ever predicted that a “Baby Grizzly” would out-crazy the “Mama Grizzly” for a full month? It is true. While Sarah Palin has been quietly plummeting in the polls and eliciting booing audiences on “Dancing With The Stars”, Christine “Bewitched” O’Donnell (the Tea Party/Republican candidate for a Delaware U.S. Senate seat) has captured the full attention of the moon-bat chasing crowd.

Every day now, O’Donnell gives us another glimpse into her twisted mind and lifestyle. First we had her call for a masturbation ban. Next, her campaign alleged that her Republican primary opponent, Mike Castle was gay. Then we learned that she had a college degree before she did not have a college degree before she finally received her college degree three weeks ago. That was followed by the revelation that she has been in debt for most of her adult life, failed to pay taxes and paid her personal expenses with campaign funds while she failed to pay wages to her campaign employees. All of that was followed by Bill Mahar’s delicious video clips which show O’Donnell admitting that she “dabbled in witch-craft” and proclaiming that “evolution is a myth”. Best of all, Mahar claims that he will continue to release more embarrassing video clips each week leading up to the election.

But wait. That is not all. O’Donnell has stepped in it yet again. This week she joined “the Twitter”. The Palin-prodigy can now join her BFF in authoring absolutely indecipherable messages to the masses. And O’Donnell wasted no time. Her first tweet was as follows:

OK, then. Any idea just what in the wide, wide world of witch-craft O’Donnell is talking about? No? Me either, but let’s hope she keeps it up. The Twitter could be an endless supply of future Lynnrockets song parodies. Maybe her next tweet could be a little more lucid however, like, “Stop masturbating and vote!” or, “Evolution-Schmevolution!”

Keep up the good work, Christine. We are watching you.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Piggies song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sXdKlpBOvs0

PORKERS

(sung to the Beatles song “Piggies”)

Have you seen G.O.P. porkers
Dishing out the dirt?
And for those G.O.P. porkers
Life is getting worse
Chris O’Donnell’s curse is angry sounding

Have you seen the bigot porkers
In their mini-skirts?
Christine and Sarah’s “twitting” fingers
Tweet until it hurts
Tweeting out new blurts so insane sounding

(Twitter break)

They’re senile and clearly cracking
They don’t care what goes on around
In their eyes there’s something lacking
What they need’s a damn good whacking

(Facebook break)

Best beware, G.O.P. porkers
Of O’Donnell’s lies
She is on a hunt for sinners
With Tea Party guys
Clutching forks and knives to eat their bacon

Palin Popularity Plummets (Again)

It's Time To Reload Not Retreat

For those of you that missed the results of the most recent Politico poll, never fear. Lynnrockets is here to dissect and analyze and the diagnosis is not promising for a Sarah Palin Presidential bid in 2012. Buried deep in the aforementioned poll was this:

Thinking one last time about Sarah Palin…
As you may already know, Sarah Palin has been the Governor of Alaska and was the Republican nominee for Vice President in 208. She resigned from her position as Governor in 2009 and currently runs a political action committee and works as a news commentator for Fox News.
25. Based on what you know, would you say that Sarah Palin’s efforts since resigning as Governor in 2009 have made you more likely or less likely to support her if she runs for President?
______________________
IF CHOICE IS MADE, ASK:

More likely/strongly…………………………………………17%
And is that strongly or More likely/somewhat………………………………………14%
somewhat (more likely/ UNSURE (DNR)………………………………………………5%
less likely)? NO DIFFERENCE (DNR)…………………………………7%
Less likely/somewhat……………………………………….13%
Less likely/strongly………………………………………….45%

Do the math and you will see that since the half-term former Governor of Alaska quit her elected position in July of 2009, a whopping 58% of people are less likely to vote for her as President.

This means that despite the fact that Palin has elevated her status as a celebrity via her Facebook and Twitter rantings, and has captured the throne as Queen of the Tea Party movement, she has actually decreased her own chances of a future electoral victory. In short, Sarah Palin has fudged it up again.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Pump It Up song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tpprOGsLWUo

FUDGE IT UP

(sung to the Elvis Costello song “Pump It Up”)

Palin’s losing her looks
She’s into banning books
Time to face the music
Shilling for “Arctic Cat”
She’s a moonbat
Blew the race for Johnny Mac
Was the Guv but then she quit
And left the state fast

Fudge it up. Too bad she couldn’t see it.
Fudge it up. Now she can’t conceal it.

She’s so far right of center
Hell bent, not Heaven sent
Listen to her propaganda
Listen to her latest slander
Palin don’t understand
All her moves are underhand

Fudge it up. Now she has revealed it.
Fudge it up. A wound but she can’t heal it.

Hey!

She is a dumb girl
She makes us wanna hurl
Like Lorena Bobbitt
Sarah’s psychotic
When she’s on a book tour
She dresses like a whore
In those clothes Mac bought for her
A tea-bagging gal for sure

Fudge it up. Now she has revealed it.
Fudge it up. A wound but she can’t heal it.

In the “Party of No”
Palin will never win
Soon they will kick her out
With all her inbred kin
Her “Death Panel” mission
Beat into submission
Her conical hat is made out of tin

Fudge it up. Now she has revealed it.
Fudge it up. A wound but she can’t heal it.

Fudge it up. Now she has revealed it.
Fudge it up. A wound but she can’t heal it.

Fudge it up. Now she has revealed it.
Fudge it up. A wound but she can’t heal it.

Palin should beat it
Palin should beat it
Palin should beat it.

O’Donnell Hostage Crisis (Day 8): The Body Count Mounts

I'll get you, Bill Mahar!

Just one week ago, you may remember, that Bill Mahar, on his HBO program, “Real Time With Bill Mahar”, aired the now famous video clip of Republican Senatorial candidate Christine O’Donnell admitting that she dabbled in witchcraft and had a date on a Satanic alter. Not only was the clip terribly damaging to the O’Donnell campaign, but Mahar upped the ante by threatening O’Donnell that he has even more embarrassing tapes which he will slowly air prior to election day unless she agrees to appear on his program. “It’s like a hostage crisis,” Maher warned O’Donnell on Saturday night. “Every week you don’t come on this show, I’m going to throw a new body out.”

True to his word, Bill Mahar did just that last Friday night. This clip shows the Sarah Palin and Tea-Party endorsed O’Donnell vehemently asserting that “evolution is a myth”. It is hysterical to look at the faces of Mahar and the other guests as the crazy evangelical O’Donnell makes her pronouncement. It gets even better when Mahar asks her “Have you ever looked at a monkey?’ and O’Donnell replies, “Well then…why aren’t monkeys still evolving into humans?” The comedy is than amped-up when one of the other guests informs O’Donnell that “It (i.e. evolution) takes a long time”. But as we always say, a picture is worth a thousand words, so let’s go to the tape..

Yikes! These tapes are certainly much more than most intellectually-challenged, gay-baiting, devil-worshipping, tax-evading, donation-abusing, evolution-denying non-masturbators could handle. And, they appear to be working. According to a CNN/Time/Opinion Research Corporation poll released Wednesday, Democratic Senate nominee Chris Coons holds a 16 percentage point lead over O’Donnell among likely voters, 55 percent to 39 percent. Among the wider pool of registered voters, Coons leads O’Donnell by 25 points.

But Christine O’Donnell is not your average candidate. She is, after all, a member of the Tea Party and a Sarah Palin prodigy. Consequently, by definition, she is expected to carry more baggage than an ocean liner. Luckily for us, she does, and Bill Mahar seems to have the undeniable proof. This is one hostage crisis in which the abductor is the fan favorite. Please Bill, keep those bodies coming.

Oh, and I almost forgot…

Go Packers!

Remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s very topical song parody.

Alison song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yYDGFZ5e6HA

O’DONNELL

(sung to the Elvis Costello song “Alison”)

Oh, it’s so funny to be seeing you on Bill Mahar’s show, girl
And by the way you look I understand that you are not impressed
But until the day that you go on “Real Time”
Your hopes are less and less.
That primary win was just accidental
O’Donnell toed the Tea Party line
But Bill Mahar promises to “throw out new bodies”
Every Friday night on prime-time.

O’Donnell, I know Bill Mahar is killing you
Oh, O’Donnell’s campaign is through

Well I see you have no husband now
Most guys don’t think it’s adulterous to simply masturbate
You’re such a cold one, they chose the hand
It makes for a better date
Sometimes I wish that I could stop you from talking
When I hear those foolish things that you say
We know Christine that you are really not too bright
You will be finished come election day.

O’Donnell, I know Bill Mahar is killing you
Oh, O’Donnell’s campaign is through
Campaign is through
Campaign is through
Campaign is through
Campaign is through
Campaign is through
Campaign is through
Campaign is through
Campaign is through
Campaign is through
Campaign is through

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 53

Just a few newsworthy events (and comments thereon) that have been making their way through the political universe this past week. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful day!

BREAKING NEWS: Last week Alexandra Petri of The Washington Post provided the  top 10 reasons Christine O’Donnell might be a real witch.

1. If you put her in water, she floats! So does everyone, but that’s the same criteria they used at the Salem witch trials, and they seemed to know what they were talking about.
2. She gets better-looking as time passes. Everyone else who was prominent in the ’90s came straggling out, broken and crinkled, muttering something about Vanilla Ice. Not O’Donnell. She’s like the Dorian Gray of political candidates. Witch.
3. Christine is a member of the Tea Party. One thing I know about tea is that, if you expose it to water, it dissolves. This is what the witch did in The Wizard of Oz. Witch.
4. Christine O’Donnell says gays suffer from identity disorder. Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia believes that gays are not protected against discrimination under the 14th amendment, and he spends all his time wandering around in a black robe and cackling, so maybe that’s witch code. Maybe they’re in the same not-coven.
5. Witches use lots of made-up words, such as “hocus pocus” and “wingardium leviosa.” Christine O’Donnell coins her own words and phrases, too, such as “unfactual” and “republican cannibalism.” Witch.
6. Christine O’Donnell once went on a date to a “satanic altar.” Hasn’t everyone? You know your date’s going badly when he draws a pentagram on the table with sushi and insists “The Sacrifice Occurs Now.” That’s usually when I go to the bathroom and stay there. If my date comes and knocks on the door, I shout, “I’ve fallen in! Don’t come after me! I’m in a better place!” That’s not a witch thing. That’s a dating thing. Unless “satanic altar” is a metaphor for something. In that case, witch.
7. In “Wicked,” a musical about witches, the witch Elphaba sings a song about defying gravity, a natural impulse that it is impossible to resist without magic. Christine O’Donnell opposes masturbation.
8. She said she had a college degree, and then it disappeared, and then it reappeared! Magic! Witch!
9. Joe Scarborough once asked her if she was going to stop the whole country from having sex. She responded: “Yes.” Clearly, anyone with that much confidence in her powers must possess abilities beyond the ken of traditional humans. Witch.
10. She says she’s a common-sense conservative who is part of the real America. She promises to make government smaller, not raise taxes and bring values back to Washington. That would require magic. If she says she can deliver on that promise, then — witch!

That is it for today folks. Have a chuckle, sing my song and have a great day!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

God Bless The U.S.A. song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r-9_fDEsv-Q

PROUD TO BE A REPUBLICAN

(sung to the Lee Greenwood song “God Bless The U.S.A.”)

If tomorrow all my brains were gone
And I was just plant life
With a feeding tube shoved in
Against the wishes of my wife
I’d thank my lucky stars the G.O.P. had their way
And curtailed my family’s freedom
Made them watch me waste away

Boy, I’m proud to be a Republican
Like Huckabee and Romney
And I won’t forget Glenn Beck who cried
Right there on Fox TV
Cuz they’ll gladly stand up next to you
And berate your union pay
I just love those hate filled flames they fan
They hate the U.S.A.

Bachmann hates in Minnesota
Alaska has Sarah P.
Rick Perry down in Texas
They’re in the Tea Party
Not Detroit nor in Boston
Too liberal, black and gay
There’s no soul in any Republican heart
And they love it just that way

Yes, I’m proud to be a Republican
Just like Rush and Hannity
And I love the facts they do deny
Right there on Fox TV
And I’ll gladly stand up next to you
And castigate Tina Fey
Cuz I never doubt those Red State men
No matter what they say

Oh, I’m proud to be a Republican
As I sit here sipping tea
Palin’s “death panels” can’t be denied
They say on Fox TV
Sarah sends a Twitter –  text to you
Six or seven times a day
It’s Republicans that love this land
In our per-ver-ted way!

Whatever Happened To Baby-Cheney?

Liz "Mini-Me" Cheney and Dick "Dr. Evil" Cheney

Just when you thought that you had heard the last from former Vice President and Torturer-in-Chief Dick Cheney’s daughter, up pops her venomous head. On Wednesday, Liz Cheney donned her horn-ensconced battle helmet and made one of the most idiotic hawk-like pronouncements in recent history. It was an honest to goodness head-scratcher.

Liz Cheney’s statement followed a report in The Washington Post which quoted a portion of journalist Bob Woodward’s new book detailing the Obama administration’s deliberations over U.S. strategy in Afghanistan and more specifically with the threat of future terrorist attacks on American soil. Obama told Woodward,

“We can absorb a terrorist attack. We’ll do everything we can to prevent it, but even a 9/11, even the biggest attack ever . . . we absorbed it and we are stronger,”

Let’s disect and analyze what Obama said. He explained that the United States is strong enough to survive any type of terrorist attack including one on the scale of the 9/11 attacks. Indeed, he warned any future terrorists that not only will his administration “do everything we can to prevent it”, but he also explained that even the 9/11 attacks did not topple the government and we are now an even stronger and more committed nation in the battle against terrorism. That sounds like a pretty strong warning addressed to any future would-be terrorists, doesn’t it?

Well, it sounds like that to any sane person, but as we know, Liz Cheney has proven to be reality challenged. Remember, this is the woman that still contends that “waterboarding” is both safe and legal. So, what was Liz Cheney’s take on President Obama’s quote? She said that the…

“comment suggests an alarming fatalism on the part of President Obama and his administration. Once again the President seems either unwilling or unable to do what it takes to keep this nation safe. The President owes the American people an explanation.”

The President expressed “an alarming fatalism”? He is “either unwilling or unable to do what it takes to keep this nation safe”? Liz Cheney is a certifiable crazy woman! If memory serves us correctly, wasn’t it her father’s administration that was actually either “unwilling or unable” to keep the nation safe during the nine month’s leading up to and including September 11, 2001? Apparently in Cheney-World you are expressing fatalism and not safeguarding your nation as President if you threaten any potential would-be terrorists with the warning that the United States withstood the worst attack they could conjure up and is even stronger and more committed to fight back since that moment. But you are blameless and strong if your administration was actually in power and was “either unwilling or unable to do what it takes to keep this nation safe” when the country was actually attacked by terrorists. That reasoning is so warped that it is almost Palinesque.

Where was the young Cheney’s outrage when shortly after the actual 9/11 attacks, then-President Bush actually goaded any future terrorists to “Bring it On!”? He may as well have added, “I double dare ya!” Honestly, where was Liz Cheney and her criticism then? Bush did not express a sense of fatalism that there might be another attack. Instead, he actually enticed another terrorist attack. But Little-Liz Cheney was silent.

If I were a supporter or donated to Cheney’s “Keep America Safe” foundation, at this point I would begin questioning my own sanity.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s very topical song parody.

Welcome To My Nightmare song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3OGM4FdpJFc

WELCOME TO MY NIGHTMARE

(sung to the Alice Cooper song “Welcome To My Nightmare”)

Welcome to my nightmare
You ain’t seen nothin’ like it
I think you’re gonna feel
Something’s wrong

A cerebral vacation
Republicans need sedation
Their mouths will be filled with foam
Before too long

Welcome to my nightmare, ohh

Welcome to my breakdown
Does Lizzie Cheney scare you?
That’s just the way they are
In Red State towns

They sweat and laugh and scream there
Mann Coulter’s their wet dream there
He really makes them feel
Right at home, there

Welcome to my breakdown, ohh
You’re welcome to my nightmare, yeah

(musical interlude)

Welcome to my nightmare
You know I just don’t like it
G.O.P. makes me feel
I don’t belong

They lie and shout and scream there
And Palin is their queen there
They all giggle and squeal
At her throne, there

Welcome to my nightmare, ohh
Welcome to my breakdown
Yeah!

(great instrumental fade out)

Palin Shunned In Massachusetts (Again)

It's Inevitable!

Sarah Palin may be one of the hottest names in conservative politics this election season, but she can cross  Massachusetts off her list of stops. The former half-term ex-quitting governor of Alaska took a personal gut-punch in the Bay State last April at her Tea Party Rally on Boston Common when Scott Brown, the state’s only G.O.P. member of Congress avoided the event. Brown was endorsed by Palin and the Tea Party in his surprising election victory to capture Ted Kennedy’s former Senate seat. Once elected however, Brown betrayed both by voting with the Democrats on a bitterly contested jobs bill and then by voting with the Democrats once again to break the Republican filibuster of the financial reform bill. Brown has realized that to be re-elected in the virtually all-Democratic Bay State, he must be quite moderate and he must distance himself from the radical conservatism of Palin and the Tea Party.

Brown’s rejection of Palin and her political philosophy did not sit well with the “Queen of Quit”. She ran to her BFF, Fox News and said this about Massachusetts voters,

“Perhaps they’re not going to look for such a hard-core constitutional conservative there, and they’re going to put up with Scott Brown and some of the antics there, but up here in Alaska, and so many places in the U.S. where we have a pioneering, independent spirit, and we have an expectation that our representatives in D.C. will respect the will of the people and the intelligence of the people. Well, up here, we wouldn’t stand for that.”

That was then, this is now. Just this week another Republican from Massachusetts has publicly shunned Sarah Palin. Jeff Perry, the Republican candidate for the Massachusetts 10th Congressional District says if Palin offered to campaign for him, he would decline the endorsement. Asked during a televised interview what he would say if Palin requested to come to Massachusetts to stump for him, Perry said, “I’m going to say no.’’ Adding insult to injury he said, “I don’t want her to come down. She’s an entertainer.” Ouch, another blow that is sure to leave a mark on Palin’s easily bruised ego.

How will Palin respond? Will she head back to the friendly waters of Fox to hurl a nationwide insult at Perry? Will she resort to Facebook or Twitter to scribble some nearly indecipherable invectives about Perry? Or, will Perry’s shunning be the straw that breaks the “Barracuda’s” back and initiates that nervous breakdown that we all know is inevitable?

Stay tuned.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s very topical song parody.

Mother’s Little Helper song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tfGYSHy1jQs

PALIN’S LITTLE HELPER

(sung to the Rolling Stones song “Mother’s Little Helper”)

What a drag it is getting old
Palin’s different today
Todd has locked his wife away
Sarah needs something today to calm her down
Thanks to our new Health Care Bill
She’s entitled to a pill
Though she’s gone quite helter skelter, she’s got Palin’s little helper
She takes four or five a day, helps those voices go away

Sarah’s different today
I just overheard her say
That she thinks the tabloid Globe is just a rag
She says that the rumor’s fake, that she’s really not half baked
And goes running for the shelter of her Palin’s little helper
Before they put her away, she gets on her knees to pray

Doctor please, some more of these
Sarah needs more, don’t lock that door
She’s a hag and she’s getting old

Men just aren’t the same today
She wants Todd to go away
It’s his antics that caused her to just retire
Sarah’s never satisfied and now must pacify her mind
Let’s all watch her sweat and swelter as the white coats try to help her
Is the strait-jacket too tight? Can she still put up a fight?

The C4P’s and G.O.P.’s
Try to ignore, that mean press corps
What a drag she is to behold

Life’s just much too hard today
I heard Sarah Palin say
That she thinks that Tina Fey is just a whore
She just wants to stand and pose in her brand new store bought clothes
Now she’s gone quite helter skelter is there anyone can help her?
Or will she stay locked away, straight on through her dying day?

O’Donnell Chickens Out Of Televised Interviews

Why does Bill Mahar torment me so?

Sarah Palin better watch her back. Christine O’Donnell may just out-crazy the craziest Tea-Bagger we know. In just two short months this Tea-Party endorsed Palin prodigy has showed the nation that she is a true contender in the G.O.P. certifiably insane candidate category.

O’Donnell was initially exposed by the revelation that she believes masturbation is akin to adultery and for her campaign’s thinly veiled accusation that her primary opponent, Mike Castle is gay. Next, it was revealed by TV host Bill Mahar, that the family values Christian admitted on television that she dabbled in witchcraft and had a date on a blood splattered satanic alter. That revelation prompted O’Donnell to abruptly back out of two nationally televised Sunday morning talk shows last week. To add insult to injury, Mahar threatened O’Donnell that he has even more embarrassing tapes which he will slowly air prior to election day unless she agrees to appear on his current program, “Real Time With Bill Mahar”. “It’s like a hostage crisis,” Maher warned O’Donnell on Saturday night. “Every week you don’t come on this show, I’m going to throw a new body out.”

Those embarrassments were followed by Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington (CREW), a nonpartisan campaign watchdog group’s, filing a damaging criminal complaint against the O’Donnell campaign with the Delaware U.S. Attorney’s Office and the Federal Election Commission. The complaint alleges that more than $20,000 of O’Donnell’s spending in 2009 and 2010 was illegal because O’Donnell was no longer a candidate for any political office. CREW has charged that that O’Donnell routinely used campaign funds to pay for personal expenses such as meals and gas as well as to pay her personal rent and for personal travel expenses.

Well, that is certainly more than most intellectually-challenged, gay-baiting, devil-worshipping, tax-evading, donation-abusing, non-masturbators could handle. Consequently, O’Donnell told Fox News’ Sean Hannity Tuesday night that she’s not going to do any more national media interviews prior to the November election. That is certainly one way of avoiding those embarrassing questions that have surfaced regarding O’Donnell’s lifestyle and actions. Indeed, avoiding the media at all costs is the cowardly yet time proven method of all Tea-Baggers including Sarah Palin and Nevada senatorial hopeful, Sharron Angle. But is it a winning tactic? Not so far. Palin lost her only national election and Angle and O’Donnell have not yet faced a general election. But the most recent Delaware poll reveals that O’Donnell’s challenger enjoys a 16% advantage over the Tea-Bagger. According to a CNN/Time/Opinion Research Corporation poll released Wednesday, 55 percent of likely voters in Delaware say that they are backing Democratic Senate nominee Chris Coons, with 39 percent saying they support GOP nominee Christine O’Donnell. Among the wider pool of registered voters, Coons’ leads O’Donnell by a whopping 25 points. Ouch, that is gonna leave a mark.

Christine O’Donnell also has to worry about those bodies that Bill Mahar will continue to throw out there before election day if she continues to avoid an appearance on his program. What a suspenseful game of chicken is developing before our very eyes. What will happen?

Until we know, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s very topical song parody.

Psycho Killer song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Smge23DCE8

PSYCHO CHICKEN (O’Donnell Version)

(sung to the Talking Heads song “Psycho Killer”)

O’Donnell is a Tea-Bagging hag
What her mouth needs is a silencing gag
She failed to pay those that she hired
From interviews, she’s now retired

Psycho Chicken
Masturbate
Cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck
So she…
Run, run, run, run, run, run, runs away
Psycho Chicken
Won’t debate
Cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck
So she…
Run, run, run, run, run, run, runs away

She starts a conversation she can’t even finish it
She’s talkin’ a lot but she’s not sayin’ anything
With Satan she prayed as Bill Mahar revealed
Exposed her once, he’ll do it again

Psycho Chicken
Won’t debate
Cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck
Rather,
Run, run, run, run, run, run, run away
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Psycho Chicken
Masturbate
Cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck
Now she…
Run, run, run, run, run, run, runs away
Oh, oh, oh, oh, Ay, yi, yi, yi, yi!!!

A vampire like Bela
Never will have a fella
She’s as cold as vichyssoise
Now Fox News hopes she just fades…away
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

She has surely lost her mind
She is the Tea Party kind

Psycho Chicken
Won’t debate
Cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck
Rather,
Run, run, run, run, run, run, run away
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Psycho Chicken
Spreading hate
Cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck
Better
Run, run, run, run, run, run, run away
Oh, oh, oh, oh, Ay, yi, yi, yi, yi!!!

Bristol Dances The Palin Two-Step!

Bristol Palin shakes her money-maker.

I made a promise to myself that I was not going to devote a blog post to Bristol Palin’s undeserved spot as a celebrity participant on television’s Dancing With The Stars. Then again, this will not be the first time that I have broken a promise to myself. So, here we go.

The ill-conceived message being sent to the teens of America as the result of Bristol Palin’s appearance on this reality television show is, get pregnant out of wedlock and you too will have the opportunity to become rich and famous. Let’s face it, there is nothing unique or remarkable about Bristol Palin other than the fact that she was Sarah Palin’s unwed pregnant teen-aged daughter.

But for her mother’s celebrity status, she would just be another unfortunate, single school-aged mother. Like so many others in that category, Bristol dropped out of high-school, never made it through college and quit the only mainstream job she could get. Unlike others in that category however, she has been able to profit by means of granting interviews to tabloid newspapers and gossip magazines and now by appearing on a nationally televised reality show.

Bristol Palin may someday prove to the world that she has something special to add to society or she may prove to have some special celebrity level talent that serves to provide her with a living. I really do hope that is the case because it is sad to think that her only claim to fame is a celebrity level unwed teen pregnancy.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s very topical song parody.

Dance With Me song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HPoxFWv3cW8

DANCE WITH ME

(sung to the Orleans song “Dance With Me”)

Dance with me, I have no other partner
Pregnancy defines me like no other
Tripp is balling and mom is calling
Dance with me

Pregnancy can be so unforgiving
For a fee, you know that I am willing
Get my fee up and you can tee-up
Dance with me

Bristol’s room lets out no sound
Her mom Sarah is never around
You can have her if you have the dough

Bristol P. is such a willing partner
Can’t you see, she’s up for any barter
No use stalling, let’s start the balling
Bristol P.

(pregnancy test break)

Laughingstock in her hometown
Abstinence was never to be found
Pregnancy is what got her this show

Dance with B, she needs a willing partner
Pregnancy defines her like no other
Mom is falling and Levi’s calling
Dance with me

Dance with me

Dance with me

Dance with me

Spread Some Butter Cuz O’Donnell’s Toast

Bubble, Bubble, She's Got Trouble!

It would appear that the days are few for Christine O’Donnell (aka The Palin Prodigy). The Tea-Party backed candidate for Vice President Joe Biden’s former Delaware Senate seat is facing more fire today and this newest trouble may mean the end for her tumultuous campaign.

O’Donnell was initially publicly embarrassed by the revelation that she believes masturbation is akin to adultery and for her campaign’s thinly veiled accusation that her primary opponent, Mike Castle is gay. Next, it was revealed by TV host Bill Mahar, that the family values Christian admitted on television that she dabbled in witchcraft and had a date on a blood splattered satanic alter. Mahar also warns that he has even more embarrassing tapes of O’Donnell which he will slowly air prior to election day unless she agrees to appear on his current program, “Real Time With Bill Mahar”. “It’s like a hostage crisis,” Maher warned O’Donnell on Saturday night. “Every week you don’t come on this show, I’m going to throw a new body out.”

Well, all that is certainly more than most unqualified candidates could withstand, but it gets even worse for O’Donnell. Yesterday, Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington (CREW), a nonpartisan campaign watchdog group, filed a damaging criminal complaint against the O’Donnell campaign with the Delaware U.S. Attorney’s Office and the Federal Election Commission. The complaint alleges that more than $20,000 of O’Donnell’s spending in 2009 and 2010 was illegal because O’Donnell was no longer a candidate for any political office. CREW Executive Director Melanie Sloan said,

“By committing tax evasion, false statements, and basically embezzling her campaign funds, Ms. O’Donnell has basically broken criminal law, and must be held to account for that,”

CREW is basing their complaint in part on the affidavit of a former campaign aide who charges that O’Donnell routinely used campaign funds to pay for personal expenses such as meals and gas. The aide, David Keegan, said that O’Donnell paid for a bowling outing – among other things – during a time when she was not running for office. O’Donnell is also being accused of illegally using campaign funds to pay her personal rent and for personal travel. In essence, it is alleged that she has illegally used her campaign donations for personal profit at a time when she was not a candidate for any office.

Honestly, how much dirty laundry must a candidate have before she is finally taken to the cleaners?

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s very topical song parody.

The Bitch Is Back song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nujsrspF-k8

THE WITCH IS WHACKED

(sung to the Elton John song “The Bitch is Back”)

She’ll be crucified for tellin’ lies
Her campaign will never survive
Re-arranging where her money’s at
But the Feds will get O’Donnell cuz the witch is whacked
(Oh, oh, oh)

Black masses on Friday that’s her night
No masturbatin’ cuz that’s just not right
This witch is all over the nightly news
Just a matter of days ‘fore her campaign is through
(Oh, oh, oh)

She’s a witch, she’s a witch
And this witch is whacked
It’s all over for the O’Donnell quack
She’s a witch, she’s a witch
All her debts are now due
She’s a Tea Party stooge
And they’re drinking her brew
(Oh, oh, oh)

She entertains with all her games
Sold her soul for her own gain
The bullshit flows, this fraud’s a brat
Christine’s full of nasty habits and that witch is whacked
(Ha, ha ha))

She’s a witch, she’s a witch
And this witch is whacked
That’s a sober undeniable fact
She’s a witch, she’s a witch
And she just got the clue
O’Donnell lost her groove
Now her campaign is through
(Oh, oh, oh)

(abstinence break)

(Oh, oh, oh)
She’s a witch, she’s a witch
And this witch is whacked
Her porcelain skin is showing some cracks
She’s a witch, she’s a witch
Tell us something that’s new
Christine must face the truth
Her days are now few
(Oh, oh, oh)

Witch, witch
The witch is whacked
Witch, witch
The witch is whacked
Witch, witch
The witch is whacked
Witch, witch
The witch is whacked
Witch, witch
The witch is whacked
Witch, witch
The witch is whacked