Monthly Archives: June 2011
The Boston Herald (Republican) Trashes Both Palin And Bachmann
The newspaper of record in Boston, MA is, of course, The Boston Globe. Indeed, most people around the nation do not even realize that Boston also has a second daily because it is the Globe which wins most all of the national awards.
There is however, a second newspaper in Beantown. It is the little known Boston Herald. The Herald does not have much of a circulation and it is the same type of propaganda arm for the Republican Party that Fox News is to the GOP on the airwaves. It is a tabloid paper which is more like the National Enquirer than The Washington Post. Think of the Herald as a low-rent Daily News with more interest in a catchy (though often misleading) headline than with factual and substantive reporting.
Despite its uber-conservtive bent however, sometimes even the The Boston Herald gets it right. Today is one of those days. Columnist Margery Eagan (who is also a talk radio host) did an excellent job of writing a spot-on comparison of Sarah Palin and Michele Bachman. In short, she opines that the former ex-quitting half-term Gov. of Alaska is a low-rent version of the present three term Rep. and GOP Presidential candidate from Minnesota. But don’t take my word for it, here is the article. If you do not mind, I am also asking my readers to click on the link to the Herald article here so that the paper and Ms. Eagan get the credit they deserve for this wonderful piece. You will also enjoy reading the hilarious comments from the Herald’s conservative readers.
Here we go. Please enjoy.
Michele Bachmann eclipses Palin, but both clueless
She’s right.
Bachmann’s leaving Mama Grizzly behind.Bachmann is older yet just as gorgeous. (Sarah’s 47 and Bachmann’s an inspiring 55).Bachmann really gets your attention. (She was the first to link the children’s classic “The Lion King” to homosexual brainwashing).Palin’s daughter, Bristol, who recently underwent what appears to be a head transplant, says Bachmann copies her mother’s style. But beyond Tea Party politics, the only common ground I’ve seen is their nonstop goofs about the Founding Fathers, the American Revolution and the Constitution — what both women claim as the bedrock of their politics.A partial list: Sarah, as we know, believes Paul Revere’s ride was about warning the British, not the colonists. She said the Founding Fathers recited the Pledge of Allegiance (its earliest version didn’t appear until 1892) and based the Constitution on the Bible and the Ten Commandments (big, big whoops).On a lighter note, Sarah gave us the “words” refudiate, misunderestimate, squirmish (what she says we’re up to in Libya) and, lest we forget, “wee-wee’d up.”Michele just mixed up American icon John Wayne with psycho killer John Wayne Gacy. More worrisome, she said the shot heard ’round the world was fired in New Hampshire, not Massachusetts; and that John Quincy Adams was a Founding Father (he was 8 when the Declaration of Independence was signed). She also insisted the Founding Fathers ended slavery, though several were slave owners themselves and dead long before the Civil War.On an even more disturbing note, PolitiFact.com, which checks politicians’ claims, just checked some of Bachmann’s recent campaign announcements and found one true statement, six half-true statements and 16 that nobody could quite figure out.
It’s not fair, but female politicians still have to work harder to be taken seriously. It’s also true that the mainstream media are kinder to liberals who goof. That’s why Barack Obama could claim he campaigned in 57 states without Fox News’ Chris Wallace asking whether he is “flake,” as Wallace just did with Bachmann.
But it’s also true that you shouldn’t be clueless about the basics if you’re running for Leader of the Free World.
Had Sarah Palin studied more and tweeted less since 2008, she might be a serious presidential contender today. That’s a lesson Bachmann, who’s still contending, should take to heart.”
Well said Ms. Eagan. Well said.
Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.
Two Of Us song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d1Y3PlmwnRM
TWO OF US
(sung to the Beatles song “Two Of Us”)
Two of us dying our hair
Spending someone’s hard earned pay
You and me both conniving
Numbers diving in all recent polls
Our brains out on loan
Just like Fred Flintstone
We are two clones
Two of us freakin’ retards
Signing book sleeves at the mall
Sending Twitter dispatches
Try and catch us as we mount our thrones
We have empty domes
Just watch our mouths foam
We love to drone
We both have short memories
Like a dead end road
There’s nothing in our heads
Two of us spewing misquotes
Stooping so low, having fun
Never reading the papers
Scheming capers on the telephone
From our pricey homes
In the twilight zone
We are two clones
We both have short memories
Like a dead end road
There’s nothing in our heads
Bachmann is casting “No” votes
Palin showboats with her guns
Both of them are just fakers
Trouble makers when they’re not at home
Whereabouts unknown
They’ll reap what they’ve sown
They are two clones
They are just two clones
Yes sir
New Yorkers Give Glenn Beck The Bronx Cheer
The print media has been abuzz today about Glenn Beck. You remember Glenn Beck don’t you? He is the self described “rodeo clown” who, when hired by Fox News some two years ago, promised to bring an end to Barack Obama’s presidency. Something funny happened on the way to the impeachment however. You see, It was Glenn Beck who found himself unemployed when Fox News failed to renew his contract while Barack Obama continues to occupy the Oval Office.
Beck appears to be such an afterthought lately that he felt he had to drum up his own drama. New York Magazine reports that on his radio show this Tuesday, Beck tearfully recounted an incident from Bryant Park last night when he and his wife and daughter turned up to see a showing of the Hitchcock classic The 39 Steps. Apparently some fellow picnickers began harassing the Becks, even at one point “accidentally” kicking a glass of wine onto his wife’s back. The famously paranoid Beck recounted the incident as follows:
“‘I swear to you, I think, if I had suggested, and I almost did, ‘Wow, does anybody have a rope? Because there’s trees here. You could just lynch me.’ And I think there would have been a couple in the crowd that would have. They have done everything they can to stalk me and my family. They’ve put my family in jeopardy in their own home.”
Who knew that Glenn Beck’s home is Bryant Park? Who knew that Beck’s family could be stalked by movie goers when it was he and his family that voluntarily appeared at the movie venue and set amongst the crowd? You learn something everyday from Glenn Beck.
Beck continued,
“I really feel sorry for you. Here you are, 25 years old, and you are so lost and so arrogant and so convinced that you are absolutely 100 percent right. And you are helping craft a system that is fueled by hate. You’re being used, and you don’t even know it. You’re building a system fueled by the very things you say you hate: special interests, the rich, the powerful, global corporations — that’s who’s pulling your string.”
Really? What is this crackpot talking about? Twenty-five year olds are “helping craft a system that is fueled by hate”? Isn’t it in fact Glenn Beck that is constantly saying he wants to kill people with shovels and isn’t it Beck that said Barack Obama “has a deep seated hared of white people”? Isn’t Beck the guy that is constantly comparing people to Hitler and the Nazis? He should look in a mirror to get a glimpse of who is really fueled by hate. Is it any wonder that Fox News no longer wants anything to do with him?
As for “the wine” incident, the alleged perpetrator actually took the time to write a letter to the editor of New York Magazine . Here it is:
To Whom It May Concern:
Just a quick FYI -saw your article on Mr. Beck and his numerous FALSE claims about the way that he was treated at Bryant Park last night. Myself and several of my friends were seated immediately behind Mr. Beck & co (have pictures) and I can tell you that while the crowd was certainly not *thrilled* that he had shown up, his family was left completely alone, and for the most part he was too. Conversely, it was his security detail (two body guards) that seemed to be unnecessarily prickly with the crowd, scolding myself and my friends for acrobatics and other harmless activities taking place well before the movie started, and contributing to a considerably less relaxed atmosphere than is typically experienced during BPMN (I’ve been going for about six years now).
It was my friend that spilled the glass of wine on Tanya -and I can assure you that it was a complete accident. A happy one, to be sure, but nonetheless a complete and utter accident. As soon as the wine spilled (and I question how Tanya became soaked from a half glass of wine) apologies were made and my friends pretty much scrambled to give Tanya & co napkins -no doubt aware that it would look terrible and that their actions could be perceived as purposeful. No words were exchanged after that, as I think that it became pretty clear to Beck & co that my friends and I were doing everything in our capacity to help clean the “mess”.
I’m sure it’s unnecessary to point out the hypocrisy in Glen’s statements that we were being hateful. I can assure him that we don’t need his sympathy. Incidentally, none of us have made a career of “spewing hate” on the radio, or any other media platform. We live our lives intolerant only of those who don’t tolerate: We have chosen New York as our city for that very reason. We do things like go to Bryant Park Movie Night, and vote to legalize gay marriage. We don’t taunt Glen, or his family. And we certainly don’t waste our wine, even on Tanya.
Thanks, and please let me know if you have further questions.
Lindsey Piscitell
Well played Ms. Piscitell. Very well played.
Please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.
Beth song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uABnCLr4Pp0
BECK
(sung to the Kiss song “Beth”)
Beck we hear you calling
We can hear you droning now
We don’t care what you’re saying
You are simply background sound
Just a few more hours
And we’ll be all done with you
Boycotts have ratings falling
Oh, Beck what can you do?
Beck what can you do?
Your skull is so damn empty
A receding, balding dome
Soon you’ll be somewhere else
But you’re sure to be alone
The Fox Network powers
Will soon be all done with you
I think I hear them calling
Oh, Beck what can you do?
Beck what can you do?
(hate-speak break)
Beck, we know you’re lonely
And you’re really in a plight
‘Cuz your last show will be broadcasting tonight.
Michele Bachmann Is Unquestionably An Idiot.
Every once in a great while even Fox News gets it right. On Sunday, while being interviewed by Chris Wallace, Michele Bachmann was asked, “Are you a flake?” She failed to answer the question. The very next day however, on the eve of her official presidential announcement, Bachmann incorrectly identified movie star John Wayne’s origins in an attempt to draw a parallel between her and the American icon. She said,
“I want them to know just like John Wayne is from Waterloo Iowa, that’s the spirit I have too. It’s embracing America. It’s sacrificing for America.”
Problem is, John Wayne the actor never lived in Waterloo, Iowa. The only notable John Wayne that ever lived there was John Wayne Gacy, the notorious serial killer. Gacy, known as “the clown killer” was found guilty of 33 murders in the Chicago area in 1980 and died by lethal injection in 1994.
This is just the latest in a string of embarrassing gaffes made by Michele “Moonbat-Crazy” Bachmann. You might also recall that the Minnesota Rep. said that “The Shot Heard Round The World” which started the American Revolutionary War was fired in New Hampshire. Of course it was actually fired in Massachusetts. Another time she said, “But we also know that the very founders that wrote those documents worked tirelessly until slavery was no more in the United States.” Apparently Bachmann did not know that most of those founding fathers were slave owners and that slavery was not abolished in this country until some 90 after those men drafted the Declaration of Independence.
If nothing else, the 2012 Republican Presidential campaign will be entertaining so long as Bachmann is around. Who needs Sarah Palin?
Please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.
Michele song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKvee-w0uBc
MICHELE
(Sung to the Beatles song “Michele”)
Michele, from Hell
These are words that go together well,
Weird Michelle.
Michele, do tell,
Do you even possess one brain cell
One tiny cell?
Just shut up, just shut up, just shut up
You have nothing to say
Would you just go away
And crawl back under that rock from whence you
Ca-ame yesterday.
Michele, Oh well,
You’ve been put under a right-wing spell
A sure death knell
On Fox News, on Fox News, on Fox News
That’s where you’ll always be
Republican TV
With Hannity and O’Reilly
And Coulter, the queen
We mock you…
We want you, we want you, we want you,
To leave the air-waves now
And lose your job somehow
Until you do we’re telling you so
You’ll understand.
Michele, farewell
Take with you that foul sulfuric smell
Sulfuric smell.
We will say the only words we know that
You’ll understand, “Go to Hell.”
Wacky Bachmann Out-Crazies Failin’ Palin And Announces Presidential Run
Bachmann and Bat-Boy Separated at Birth
How fitting that moonbat-crazy Michele Bachmann will announce her presidential candidacy in Waterloo (Iowa, that is). Her campaign after all, should have about as much success as did Napoleon’s in the Waterloo which is now part of Belgium. Disaster is surely in the cards and is there anything more mesmerizing than viewing a car-wreck on the highway? Who would have thought that the wackiest Republican presidential candidate would be someone other than Sarah Palin?
Sarah Palin has long been the darling of the Tea Baggers. That was natural in that she and they shared an affinity for misspelling and the misunderstanding of such things as Medicare, the United States Constitution and a proper dress code (Naughty Monkey cork-heeled shoes or tri-cornered hat with powdered wig?). Palin truly spoke the language of the educationally-challenged and the Tea Baggers understood it.
But something funny happened on the way to Tea Party stardom. Tea Partiers (and the American population as a whole) began to lose interest in the “Quitter on Twitter”. The first sign of this was when Palin’s “favorable” ratings began to drop in poll after poll. Additionally, her second ghost-written book did not sell nearly as well as her first and the corresponding cross-country book tour was not well attended by devotees. The final straw may have been her disastrous video response to the Tucson shootings. Even her co-workers at Fox News realized that her “The Real Victim Of The Tucson Shootings Was Me!” speech did not resonate well with anyone. Consequently, they invited her to an immediate soft-ball interview with Sean Hannity in an attempt to resurrect her credibility. Unfortunately (for her), that failed also, too. Shortly thereafter, Palin was crushed by Mitt(wit) Romney in a New Hampshire straw poll heavily attended by Tea Partiers. Since then, she has not finished atop a poll of likely GOP presidential contenders even once. In short, it appears that the Tea Party has “refudiated” Sarah Palin.
During the entire period that the former ex-quitting half-term Gov. of Alaska was basking in the national limelight, Michele Bachmann was busy building a Tea Bagging base of her own. She shared all the same misguided beliefs and encouraged all the same ill-conceived policies as Palin, but she was not in everyone’s face all the time. She did not post a Facebook comment or Twitter tweet in response to any word uttered by President Obama or the “lamestream” media. She did not appear in her own un-reality television series. And, she did not get into a war of words with every comedian that dared mention her name (i.e. David Letterman, Kathy Griffin and Bill Maher).
Bachmann’s plan to capture the Tea Party crown was more conventional than Palin’s. She was already a Washington insider inasmuch as she is a three term Representative from Minnesota. She capitalized on her elected office by forming the Congressional “Tea Party Caucus”. She is also fruitcake-nutty enough to appeal to radical Tea Baggers. You might recall that she advocated for a McCarthyesque investigation of members of Congress to determine if they are anti-American. She heartily agreed with Sarah Palin regarding her “death panel” lie. She fell hook, line and sinker for an internet rumor that President Obama’s 2010 trip to Asia cost $200 miilion per day and that he would be accompanied by 34 warships. She said that teenagers should pay their employers for the privilege of working instead of receiving the minimum wage and she said that being gay is “part of Satan”. She also displayed a complete lack of knowledge of American history when she proclaimed that the famous “Shot Heard Round the World” was fired in New Hampshire. (BTW, for you Teapublicans and Boston Herald readers, the shot was fired at the Battle of Lexington and Concord in Massachusetts). Like Palin’s sniper-sight symbolism, Bachmann also utilizes violent rhetoric such as when she said she wanted Minnesotans “armed and dangerous on this issue of the energy tax because we need to fight back.” All of that is highly digestible stuff for the Tea Party.
Nonetheless, if you have not yet been convinced that Michele Bachmann is kookoo for cocoa puffs, just take a look at some of her more memorable quotes as compiled by The Huffington Post:
- “And what a bizarre time we’re in, when a judge will say to little children that you can’t say the pledge of allegiance, but you must learn that homosexuality is normal and you should try it.”
- “I wish the American media would take a great look at the views of the people in Congress and find out: Are they pro-America or anti-America?”
- “There are hundreds and hundreds of scientists, many of them holding Nobel Prizes, who believe in intelligent design.”
- “I find it interesting that it was back in the 1970s that the swine flu broke out then under another Democrat president Jimmy Carter. And I’m not blaming this on President Obama, I just think it’s an interesting coincidence.”
- “[Gay marriage] is probably the biggest issue that will impact our state and our nation in the last, at least, thirty years. I am not understating that.”
- “Normalization [of gayness] through desensitization. Very effective way to do this with a bunch of second graders is take a picture of ‘The Lion King’ for instance, and a teacher might say, ‘Do you know that the music for this movie was written by a gay man?’ The message is: ‘I’m better at what I do, because I’m gay.’”
- “But we also know that the very founders that wrote those documents worked tirelessly until slavery was no more in the United States.”
- “It is a brand new, billion-dollar high speed train that is going to go from Disneyland up to Las Vegas…Harry Reid, the Senator from Nevada, was behind this measure, and it makes us wonder, is he more interested in making sure kids start gambling at younger ages?”
- “The President of the United States will be taking a trip over to India that is expected to cost the taxpayers $200 million a day.”
There is no doubt that Michele Bachmann can match Sarah Palin in the “Tea Party Two-Step” move for move. Indeed, the Bachmann campaign even stole away Palin’s debate coach. Is that crazy enough for you? Think about that for a moment. Michele Bachmann actually wants to be coached by the person that is highly responsible for some of the all-time worst (yet laugh-out-loud hilarious) debate and interview performances in televised history. Remember when during the Vice Presidential debate, Palin was unable to provide a single policy solution for the financial crisis, the economy in general, health care or the war on terror? She gave little more than promises of reform and “maverick”-y governance. How about her “All of ’em any of ’em” response to the question “…what newspapers and magazines do you read…?”. Some of that must be blamed on the coach. Perhaps we will get an early indication of the prowess of her new coach if Bachmann accepts the challenge to debate one of those high-schoolers who have recently criticized her lack of history and scientific knowledge (See, “Kids vs. Bachmann. Score: Kids 2 Bachmann 0“).
Michele Bachmann’s candidacy is sure to amuse us for many months ahead. Stay tuned. Same Bat-Crazy time! Same Bat-Crazy channel!
Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.
The Flintstones television theme song link: http://www.televisiontunes.com/Flintstones.html
BACHMANN
(sung to the television theme song “The Flinstones”)
Bachmann. Michele Bachman
A Congresswoman that is bat crazy
She and Sarah Palin
Driving voters from the G.O.P.
She can’t form a sentence that’s complete
Now she’s targeted for big defeat
When you’re Michele Bachmann
You’re just living off the state dime
Endorsing hate crimes
Exposed during prime time
Bachmann. Michele Bachman
Hates Blacks, children and those that are gay
She is clearly brain dead
Can’t seem to get out of her own way
She talks right through the rain, snow and sleet
Every single thought is incomplete
When you’re Michele Bachmann
You’re just living off the state dime
Endorsing hate crimes
Exposed during prime time
Exposed during prime time
Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 83
Just a few newsworthy items (and comments thereon) that have been making their way through the political universe this past week but may have escaped your attention. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful day!
BREAKING NEWS: Representative Paul Ryan, the House Budget Committee chairman who has become a star in the Republican Party with his plan to destroy Medicare, is emerging as an unpopular figure among Americans. By a margin of 57 percent to 34 percent, recent Bloomberg poll respondents say they would be worse off if Ryan’s plan to convert Medicare to a system of subsidized private health coverage were adopted.Fifty-eight percent of independents, a critical voting bloc in recent elections, say they would be worse off. That’s likely to encourage Democrats to bank their success in next year’s presidential and congressional races on tying Republicans to the Medicare plan, which was passed by the Republican-controlled House on April 15.
THIS JUST IN: The Republican controlled House has approved a bill removing a barrier to companies seeking to drill for oil in some areas offshore. The White House opposes the measure, saying it deprives citizens of a way to challenge permits and would also increase air pollution. Is it a surprise to anyone that the party that hates mother earth is up to its old tricks once again?
BREAKING NEWS: The folks over at Buzzflash were spot-on when they concluded that it appeared that Minnesota’s moonbat-crazy Republican Rep. Michele Bachmann did well in last week’s GOP debate simply as the result of “not spewing vomit as her head twisted around”! Doesn’t everyone love a good “Exorcist” reference?
THIS JUST IN: Just wondering, but if the Republicans know so much about creating jobs, then why was there negative job growth from 2000 through 2007 when they were in control of the government and it was a period of relative economic prosperity?
BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Leave It To The Courts To Redress Faulty GOP Policy” features Republican Indiana Governor Mitch Daniels and his law which eliminated funding to Planned Parenthood. U.S. District Court Judge Sarah Evans on Friday granted a preliminary injunction preventing Indiana from enforcing the law that eliminated funding to the organization because it performs abortions.
THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “Dazed And Confused” features the Republican members of the House. The majority party attempted to disgrace the President by rebuking his actions in Libya and cutting the funds for the military action. Problem is, the GOP does not know what it wants. In a very confusing action, the House voted to rebuke the President for the action, but also voted to continue funding the action. It is obvious that Speaker John Boehner has no control over his minions. This was an embarrassing defeat for the Republicans.
BREAKING NEWS: The next time that some Republican tells you Texas is the best job creation state in the Union and that GOP gov. Rick Perry deserves the credit, remind them of this. ThinkProgress reveals that the theory that Perry has a stellar record on job creation is simply not true. As the Austin American-Statesman noted, “while the national unemployment rate is 9.1 percent and the Texas unemployment rate is 8 percent, some 23 states, including New York, have lower unemployment rates.” In addition, “jobs grew at about the same rate during Democrat Ann Richards’ four years as governor” as they have under Perry. Moreover, as it turns out, Texas is in fact leading the nation in one employment metric — the number and percentage of minimum wage jobs. Additionally, Texas has by far the largest number of employees working at or below the federal minimum wage.
THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “This Deserves Repeating” features Teapublican Sarah Palin. When the former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska told reporters that she would like to meet the Prime Minister during her world tour next month, a Thatcher aide reportedly said, “Lady Thatcher will not be seeing Sarah Palin. That would be belittling for Margaret. Sarah Palin is nuts.”
BREAKING NEWS: Inasmuch as infamous Boston Irish Mob Boss and the nation’s “Most Wanted” villain, Whitey Bulger was captured last week, we were wondering what Martin Scorsese’s sequel to the film “The Departed” will be entitled. Perhaps “The Recently Apprehended” or “The Returned”? Any other suggestions?
THIS JUST IN: Fox News Comment of the week. Headline: “Suspect in Custody for ‘Suspicious” backpack is Marine Corps Reservist.” Comment: “All of you liberals, illegal immigrants, and muslims need to be rounded-up and put into camps that are surrounded by razor-wire!!!” How is that for conservative intellectualism?
BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “How Soon They Are Forgotten” features former Fox News host and self-described “rodeo clown” Glenn Beck. Honestly think about this for a moment. When was the last time you heard anything about the now near-invisible Beck? Well, TPM reports that Glenn Beck said Thursday that he will be visiting the former Nazi death camp Auschwitz in a visit to Poland, and he’ll broadcast a special from a town outside of the camp because this will help him “figure out,” he says, “how did this happen?” Beck went on to say, “Poland, I didn’t know this when I first started doing my research. Poland rose up, a lot of Poles rose up, to try to help the Jews but they had nothing left. They had no arms.” Apparently Beck’s research failed to reveal that Poland “did not exactly have a reputation for passionate philo-Semitism. Towards the end of the war, anti-Jewish riots even broke out in several Polish cities as Jews were returning to their homes.” It is nice to know that some things never change. Glenn Beck continues to misinform.
Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.
Crazy song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2OVtpnpCOKM
HE’S CRAZY
(sung to the Patsy Cline song “Crazy”)
Crazy
Glenn Beck is a demented phony
He’s crazy
Marbles? He’s missing a few
We knew
He was one of Bellevue’s “Most Wanted”
And that someday
He’d make an asylum debut
Sorry
Beck’s on a mental safari
Wondrin’
How did he go so koo-koo
Oh, crazy
Glenn’s crazy and back on the home brew
There’s no use denyin’
Beck can’t stop cryin’
Glenn Beck’s crazy
And stupid too
Crazy
We’re not sure that Beck’s not sniffing glue
It seems like he’s flyin’
We’re not just implyin’
Glenn Beck’s crazy
We know it’s true
Ron “007” Paul Fears Goldfinger May Have Struck Again!!!
Before reading today’s blog post, please start the following video to set the mood:
It is beginning to look as if GOP Presidential candidate Ron Paul has been both “shaken” and “stirred”. Paul of course is the moonbat-crazy Republican congressman from Texas and father of the equally crazy Rand Paul, the newly elected Teapublican senator from Kentucky.
In earlier blog posts we have already highlighted some of the elder Paul’s ideas and characteristics such as:
He is known as “Dr. No” (Hmm, another James Bond reference) because of his insistence that he will “never vote for legislation unless the proposed measure is expressly authorized by the Constitution”;
– He advocates withdrawal from the United Nations, and from the North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO);
– He opposes birthright citizenship;
– He advocates for the elimination of the Federal Reserve;
– He would deny women their right of freedom of choice in birth; and
– He believes that the civil Rights act of 1964 is unconstitutional.
We have also previously printed some of Paul’s racist quotes as attributed to him in his very own newsletter such as:
– “Boy, it sure burns me to have a national holiday for that pro-communist philanderer Martin Luther King. I voted against this outrage time and time again as a Congressman. What an infamy that Ronald Reagan approved it! We can thank him for our annual Hate Whitey Day.”;
– “opinion polls consistently show only about 5% of blacks have sensible political opinions”;
– “if you have ever been robbed by a black teen-aged male, you know how unbelievably fleet-footed they can be.”.
OK then, it appears that we have confirmed Ron Paul’s radically eccentric bone fides. He did not need to do or say one more crazy thing to convince us that he is bonkers. But this is Ron Paul who we are talking about and he just cannot help himself.
On Friday we learned that just like secret agent James Bond in the 1964 film “Goldfinger“, Paul is worried that our nation’s gold supply might have gone missing from Fort Knox. Does he suspect super-villain Auric Goldfinger is involved? Who knows? But one thing is certain, CNN reports that Ron Paul called a congressional hearing Thursday to grill federal officials about his bill to audit and inventory all of the gold reserves at Fort Knox, Ky., West Point, N.Y., and Denver, even though Treasury officials insist that the gold is audited annually and is all there. Paul wants to open up Fort Knox and other reserves and count the bars manually.
Paul suggested that the Federal Reserve of New York, which has 5% of the U.S. gold reserves, has the ability to secretly sell or swap gold with other countries without anyone knowing. He said,
“The Fed is pretty secret, you know. Congress doesn’t have much say on what’s going on over there. They do a lot of hiding.”
In response, Treasury Inspector General Eric Thorson said, “We know where it is. We know how much there is. We know it’s there. None of it has been removed.”
Now what? Will Paul contact “Q” over at headquarters in the hope of acquiring some newfangled spy gadget so that he may surreptitiously enter Fort Knox and count the gold? Will he don a tuxedo? What kind of fancy sports-car will he drive? Will he encounter a vivacious double-agent? Someone please contact Sean Connery and find out if he is available for the big screen adaptation of this thriller!
Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.
“Piano Man” song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dBC6IVP-C84
TEA BAGGING MEN (RON PAUL VERSION)
(sung to the Billy Joel song “Piano Man”)
It’s nine o’clock on a Saturday
Rand Paul comes marching in
A proud member of the Tea Party
Like so many white racist men
He says, “Boy you know that I’m from Kentucky
And I think that Obama blows
It was sad and back-street how he chastised BP
Just because their damn oil rigs explode”
La la la, di da da
La la, di di da da dum
Sing us a song you Tea-Bagging men
Sing us a song tonight
Give us some patriotic imagery
Tri-corn hats and a wig that’s too tight
Now Sarah Palin is no friend of mine
Thank God she’s not the VP
Yes she looked like a dope every time she misspoke
As McCain claimed she was “mavericky”
She says, “Why does the press keep on grilling me?”
As her smile runs away from her face
“Can’t they see I’m a tabloid-bred superstar,
Though I quit my job in disgrace?”
Oh, la la la, di da da
La la, di da da da dum
Ron Paul is a right-wing apologist
He is anti-gay and pro-life
Grasp of history’s hazy and he’s moon-bat crazy
Ron Paul should be confined for life
And Scott Walker’s union-busting politics
Sparked a recall to get him de-throned
While Mike Huckabee thinks his “down-hominess”
Will coax liberals to leave him alone
Sing us a song you Tea-Bagging men
Sing us a song tonight
Give us some patriotic imagery
Tri-corn hats and a wig that’s too tight
Had a pretty big crowd just last Saturday
With the Tea Baggers dressed in high style
They were at a rally with signs misspelled badly
To express ignorance all the while
And the town common, it looks like a carnival
With the Tea Baggers from far and near
They unload from their cars lots of feathers and tar
As they fan flames of hatred and fear!
Oh, la la la, di da da
La la, di da da da dum
Sing us your song you Tea Bagging men
Sing us your song tonight
Cuz we’re all in the mood for a melody
Sung by folks that are old, dumb and white
(fade into extinction)
Not Coming To A Theatre Near You: New Palin Film
CNN reports that a secretly-produced, $1 million feature film titled, “The Undefeated,” about Sarah Palin will debut in Iowa next week, a source confirms to CNN.
Sarah Palin, the greatest self-promoting narcissist this side of Donald Trump and P.T. Barnum commissioned a conservative filmmaker to make a feature-length motion picture about her. Real Clear Politics reports that she hired some unknown by the name of Stephen K. Bannon to produce, film and market the ego-stroking movie titled “The Undefeated” The film is about Palin’s political career up to her disastrous run for the vice presidency in 2008, which is obvious because she (and John McCain) were soundly defeated in that election. She was also defeated in the 2002 election for Alaska’s lieutenant-governor, so this film’s title appears to be rather misleading at best.
So, who is this Bannon guy? He is a former Goldman Sachs banker who now makes right-wing propaganda films. His previous flops include, “In The Face Of Evil” (about Ronald Reagan); “Generation Zero” (about how 1960′s hippies caused the 2008 economic collapse) and “Fire From The Heartland” (about conservative women such as Ann Coulter, Michelle Malkin, Michele Bachmann and Palin). Bannon claims to have won Best Documentary at the Liberty Film Festival, but that festival was formed to give awards to right-wing filmmakers. In short, Stephen K. Bannon is an unaccomplished conservative mouthpiece.
In “The Undefeated”, Bannon’s (and Palin’s) goal is, as Real Clear Politcs puts it, “to help catapult Palin from the presidential afterthought she has become in the eyes of many pundits directly to the front lines of the 2012 GOP conversation.” That website also reports that although Palin is not interviewed directly, the film features on-camera interviews and commentaries from 10 Alaskans who played different roles in her political rise, as well as six Lower 48 denizens who defend her in more visceral terms, including prominent conservative firebrands Mark Levin, Andrew Breitbart and Tammy Bruce. How is that for a trio of radical propagandists? The film extols every one of Palin’s minor successes but fails to even make mention of the less flattering topics, such as the Troopergate saga — which had little effect on the VP campaign but left a lastingly negative impression of Palin in the eyes of many Alaskans — and her unimpressive series of interviews with Katie Couric. did you expect anything different?
The film is likely to be released only in a few small hamlets of radical conservatism, so it is unlikely that most Americans will ever be exposed to it. There is however, a little something in the film that progressives might enjoy. The Real Clear Politics article describes the opening sequence as a fast-paced sequence of clips showing some of the prominent celebrities who have used sexist, derogatory and generally vicious language to describe her. Rosie O’Donnell, Matt Damon, Bill Maher, David Letterman, and Howard Stern all have brief cameos before comedian Louis C.K. goes off on a particularly ugly anti-Palin riff. “I hate her more than anybody,” C.K. says at the end of his tirade, the rest of which is unfit to print in a family-friendly blog.
Sarah Palin, the former ex-quitting half-term governor of Alaska has had her own reality television series, is a host on Fox News, has embarked on two nationwide book-signing tours and now is the subject of a feature-length motion picture. Nonetheless, she once portrayed President Barack Obama as more of a celebrity than a serious politician. Who does she think she is kidding?
Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.
My Way song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6E2hYDIFDIU
MY WAY
(sung to Frank Sinatra’s “My Way”)
And now, the end is near;
To all of you, I’m glad I met ya’
Alaskans, let’s make it clear,
Did I fool you?, Oh yeah, “ya betcha!”
You’ve met Todd, the “First Dude”,
His snowmachine is in the driveway.
Is he drunk? My God, he’s blitzed,
The D.U.I. way.
Regrets, I’ve had a few;
More than most, I will remember.
My lipstick and my hair-do
But most of all, 4th of November.
Each day since then has been
Another never-ending whine and cry day,
And I’ve been told by Newt Gingrich,
To hit the highway.
Yes, there were times, that now you know
I failed to declare “per diem” dough.
What’s this about “stimulus funds”?
Let’s just cling to, our God and guns.
Oh, I just winked and then I blinked;
And did it my way.
Nicknames, I’ve had a few
There’s “Caribou” and “Barracuda”
Now I’m known as “Sarah Who?”
Cuz Tina Fey is so much cuter.
To think I’m a has been;
And I can’t see – beyond next Friday
Woe, oh woe is me,
I won’t have my day.
For what is a gal, what has she got?
When her career, has gone to pot.
How to appear on nightly news;
When she’s inept at interviews.
She’s still exposed despite those clothes
Please hit the highway!
Yes, hit the highway.
Bristol Palin Releases A Juvenile Tell-All
If this isn’t just what America needs! Another Palin has attempted to write a book. First there was “Going Rogue: An American Life”, a ghostwritten memoir by Sarah Palin. That was followed by the former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska’s scrapbook of a mess titled, “America By Heart: Reflections Of Family, Faith and Flag”. Now we have daughter Bristol Palin’s “Not Afraid Of Life: My Journey So Far”. What is with these Palins and their affinity for sub-titles anyway?
Bristol Palin of course, is the one-time high school drop-out and one-time unwed pregnant teen-aged daughter of Sarah and Todd Palin. During her campaign for vice president, Sarah often referred to her as the brave daughter who would soon be married to her longtime boyfriend so that the two of them would raise their child in loving harmony. Indeed, the wedding announcement was made before a televised audience. Of course none of that happened. Shortly after Palin’s campaign collapsed, so did Bristol and Levi’s wedding engagement.
After the break-up, Bristol accepted a high paying job with the Candies Foundation to speak out against teen pregnancy of all things. Only in America. She is getting lucratively paid to tell teens not to do exactly what she did. Yikes, talk about shutting the barn door after the horse has escaped!
Like her mom, Bristol has also taken to the world of reality television series. Last year she appeared on Dancing With The Stars and was surrounded with the ever-present Palin aura of controversy. It was alleged that despite her poor dancing skills and the judges’ low scoring, Bristol was not voted off the show by the audience as the result of a well orchestrated effort by Sarah Palin supporters. She was ultimately deemed to be a loser by the show’s judges. As an encore, it was recently announced that Bristol will now be appearing in yet another reality series. This time, the single mom will be shacking up with two male friends in a Los Angeles apartment while raising her son and working for a charity. How realistic is that?
Bristol is truly living the life of the typical unwed mother of a small child. A lucrative spoke-person’s contract, a starring role in two television series, a condominium in Alaska and a brand new home in Arizona and now the author of a memoir of her very own. That is certainly a lot more than most 20 year old single parents could handle. Bristol Palin is truly remarkable.
But what about the book you ask? Well, in short, it is nothing more than the transcription of a female adolescent mind’s gripe session. Bristol does to her friends and associates in this book, what her mother has done to so many of her own in her memoir. She stabs them in the back.
She blasts John McCain’s daughter Meghan by saying she is “self-obsessed” and reveals that after meeting her, Bristol felt she “might need to watch my back”. She portrays John McCain’s wife as looking “like a queen” and holding herself “like royalty”, not to mention having “never seen people with so much Louis Vuitton luggage, so many cell phones, and so many constant helpers to do her hair and makeup.”
Bristol even snipes at the other contestants on Dancing With The Stars. She writes, “I noticed some of the contestants rolled their eyes when they realized we’d survived to dance another day.”
Her sharpest attacks are, not surprisingly, directed at her two-time fiance and the father of her child. Levi Johnston has probably heard all this bad-mouthing from her already, but now the rest of America is on the scoop. First Bristol tells us that her virginity was “stolen” by Levi one night while she was drunk on wine coolers during a camping trip (Hmm, wonder if that’s where the name Tripp came from?). She does not use the word “rape”, so we must deduce that the tryst was consensual. Nonetheless, she goes on to write, “I could tell by the evidence in the tent that all of my plans, my promises, and my moral standards had disappeared in one awful night in a series of bad decisions.” Those bad decisions continued however, because she then tells us that she was later surprised to learn that she was pregnant at 17 years old despite the fact that she “had been on birth control.”
She then describes Johnston as a disloyal boyfriend who had “romps with other girls”. When confronted, he showered her with gifts, including Coach purses, Abercrombie clothing, and designer rain boots. In return, she forgave Johnston and started sleeping with him again with the hope that he would stop cheating. “It was part ‘thank you,’ part ‘security deposit,” she writes. Bristol even goes so far as to ridicule Levi Johnston’s intelligence. She pointedly makes fun of his grammar and misspellings in notes to her. This is particularly humorous when you consider that it is being said by a high school drop-out who required the help of a co-writer for her memoir.
Don’t worry too much about Levi Johnston however, because his very own “tell all” memoir will be hitting a Barnes & Noble near you this autumn.
Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.
Paperback Writer song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=taADLPtyDb0
PAPERBACK WRITER (BRISTOL VERSION)
(sung to the Beatles song “Paperback Writer”)
Paperback writer (paperback writer)
Dear Todd and Sarah, will you read my tome?
It took a year to write while raising Tripp alone
It’s based on my life as a teen-aged quack
And a bunch of folks that I wanna attack as a paperback writer,
Paperback writer
A book of topics that I want a say on,
Which I wrote with finger-paints and a crayon.
Do not expect too much from this school drop-out,
I can’t read too well but I want to be a paperback writer
Paperback writer
Paperback writer (paperback writer)
It’s got twenty pages give or take a few,
And it has some pictures that Piper drew.
I threw in an old joke that my mom once told
It’s a real page-turner and I want to be a paperback writer,
Paperback writer
I tell a tall tale about camping one night
I drank wine coolers and got high as a kite.
Lost my virginity, yes let’s make that clear,
That sure gave me a boost and now I can be a paperback writer.
Paperback writer
Paperback writer (paperback writer)
Paperback writer – paperback writer
Paperback writer – paperback writer
(fading)
Newt Blingrich Gets The Boot (Again) !!!
Newt Gingrich’s days as a viable Republican Presidential candidate would appear to be finally over.
Gingrich of course, stumbled almost immediately out of the gate, after declaring in a May appearance on NBC’s “Meet the Press” that the House Republican budget plan to destroy Medicare was too “radical” and represented “right-wing social engineering.” He caught so much flak from Republicans across the board that he felt compelled to apologize to the plan’s author, Rep. Paul Ryan (Not seen as a very “Presidential” move). Indeed, Gingrich went so far as to seemingly flip-flop (ala Mitt(wit) Romney) and endorse the plan. He then made a fool of himself by issuing threats to any Democrats that might be so bold to use Gingrich’s “actual words” against him in campaign ads. Gingrich looked more like a lost child than a serious candidate.
“Radical Right-Wing Social Engineering-Gate” was quickly followed by “Tiffany-Gate”. It was revealed that Gingrich had purchased up to half a million dollars worth of jewelry at Tiffany & Company. To make matters worse, Tiffany had lobbied the agency which employed his third wife. Such lavish expenditures on luxury bling did not jibe well with Gingrich’s self-promoted title as a common-sense fiscal conservative. The ostentatious purchases also did not sit well with those hard-working blue-collar conservative members of the middle-class with whom Gingrich claimed an alliance. The financially struggling conservative masses could no longer be counted upon to vote for this Donald Trump wannabe.
Next, Gingrich was hit with “Abandon Ship-Gate” as virtually his entire campaign staff abruptly quit. Like so many rats fleeing a sinking ship, his press secretary Rick Tyler, campaign manager Rob Johnson, senior strategists Sam Dawson and Dave Carney as well as 12 other high-ranking staffers announced that they had had enough with their recalcitrant boss. Gingrich was left with the bare bones of a staff but he vowed to re-invigorate his campaign and carry on.
Problem was, Newt Gingrich did not expect to suddenly become embroiled in “Hands In The Cookie Jar-Gate”. Last week it was revealed by ABC News that “a non-profit charity founded by Newt Gingrich to promote freedom, faith and free enterprise also served as another avenue to promote Gingrich’s political views, and came dangerously close, some experts say, to crossing a bright line that is supposed to separate tax-exempt charitable work from both the political process and such profit-making enterprises as books and DVDs. The charity, Renewing American Leadership, not only featured Gingrich on its website and in fundraising letters, it also paid $220,000 over two years to one of Gingrich’s for-profit companies, Gingrich Communications. It purchased cases of Gingrich’s books and bought up copies of DVDs produced by another of the former House speaker’s entities, Gingrich Productions. ”
When questioned about the apparent conflict of interest, Gingrich told an ABC reporter, “I’m not concerned about that. The American people aren’t concerned about that. Try covering the speech.” Unfortunately for Newt however, the American people were concerned about “that”. You see, his political action committee was only able to raise a miniscule $ 53,000.00 in 3 months. The few donors remaining allegedly consisted of energy companies that are some of the nation’s worst polluters and a Dallas strip club owner who Gingrich once promoted as the “entrepreneur of the year”.
So, when fundraising gets tough, what happens? “Abandon Ship-Gate II” of course. CNN reported yesterday that Gingrich’s top 2 fundraisers suddenly quit. Fundraising director Jody Thomas and fundraising consultant Mary Heitman have now joined the aforementioned 16 other staffers to abandon the S.S. Gingrich. The big question is now, “Who (if anyone) is left on board?”
But wait! There’s more! It was also revealed yesterday that we now have “Tiffany-Gate II”. CNN reports that Gingrich had an even larger second line of credit at the high-end Tiffany & Co. jewelry store. Gingrich’s personal financial disclosure campaign filing will show he had a line of credit of up to $1 million with the store, in addition to a revolving charge account revealed last month. How is that for a double-dose of Gingrich fiscal conservatism?
It took only one so-called “Gate” to bring down GOP President Richard “Tricky Dick” Nixon. Can Gingrich survive 6 and counting? Don’t bet on it. Remember, Newt Gingrich also has an ugly political and personal history. He is the disgraced former Republican Speaker of the House who was forced out of leadership and his Congressional seat by his own party. He is also a serial philanderer. He has been married three times so far. In 1962, he married Jackie Battley, his former high school geometry teacher. In the spring of 1980, Gingrich left Battley after having an affair with Marianne Ginther. According to Battley, Gingrich visited her while she was in the hospital recovering from cancer surgery to discuss divorce. Six months after the divorce was final, Gingrich wed Marianne Ginther in 1981. In the mid-1990s, Gingrich began an affair with House of Representatives staffer Callista Bisek, who is 23 years his junior. They continued their affair during the Clinton/Lewinsky scandal, when Gingrich as a leader of the Republican investigation of President Clinton for perjury in connection with his alleged affairs with Paula Jones and Monica Lewinsky, hypocritically called for the president’s impeachment. In 2000, Gingrich married Bisek shortly after his divorce from second wife Ginther. Gingrich converted to Catholicism in 2009 but many divorced Catholics are also upset with him as the result of his breaking of church doctrine by marrying after a divorce.
In light of all of the above, you can take this to the bank: Newt Gingrich’s days as a presidential candidate are numbered and that number is very small.
Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.
I Am Woman song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MGMESM8JKOg
I AM GINGRICH
(sung to the Helen Reddy song “I Am Woman”)
I am Gingrich, hear me snore
The G.O.P. showed me the door
In ’98, I was thrown out on my rear end
‘cause I called for a class war
When Clinton dallied with that whore
So what if I also had a lady friend
Oh yes I’m despised
And I caused a lot of pain
I’ve been married thrice
And I will wed again
Remember, “Contract With America”
I was wrong (wrong)
Now I’m invisible (invisible)
I am Gingrich
Now I’ve shown you that I’m tasteless
By calling Sonia a racist
When I’m the guy that bloviates on ghettos
My lies will grow much stronger
And my nose will grow much longer
When I start to call Sotomayor a “Hoe”
Oh yes I’m despised
And I caused a lot of pain
I’ve been married thrice
And I will wed again
Remember, “Contract With America”
I was wrong (wrong)
Now I’m invisible (invisible)
I am Gingrich
I am Gingrich don’t you know
Democrats know that I blow
Fox News spreads my fat visage across the land
And I’ll use those embryos
And those nameless “baby does”
If it helps me to advance my final stand
Oh yes I’m despised
And I caused a lot of pain
I’ve been married thrice
And I will wed again
Remember, “Contract With America”
I am wrong (wrong)
And I’m invisible (invisible)
I am Gingrich
Oh, I am Gingrich
I am invisible
I am wrong
(Fading)
I am Gingrich
I am invisible
I am wrong
I am Gingrich
GOP Is So Unpopular That Even Tea-Baggers Are Now Dunking Them
TPM DC reports that South Florida Tea Party Chairman Everett Wilkinson thinks the GOP budget — and in particular its call to phase out Medicare and replace it with a marketplace for private insurance — is a total disaster. He’s saying that Republicans, including members in his sphere of influence like Rep. Allen West (R-FL), should back away from it.
In an email to fellow Tea Partiers last week, obtained by The Palm Beach Post, Wilkinson called the GOP plan a “public policy nightmare” that could trigger “huge Democratic wins in 2012,” and prompt Republicans to blame the Tea Party for their losses.
“Republicans will lose if they support the Ryan Medicare plan. Americans do not support the [Paul] Ryan plan,” he wrote. “Expect the GOP to then blame the Tea Party for losses.”
TPM DC goes on to state that the “GOP’s Medicare plan polls terribly everywhere, so it makes sense that some conservatives in states like Florida with large elderly populations are jumping ship.”
This begs the question, without the Tea Party whack-jobs does the GOP have any supporters?
Inasmuch as the Republican Party is doing everything within its power to hasten its own extinction, we thought that it would be appropriate if today’s song parody was based upon a tune about another extinct animal, the unicorn. Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.
The Unicorn Song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ch4N4KB3XaI&feature=related
THE REPUBLICAN SONG
(sung to the Irish Rovers song “The Unicorn Song”)
A long time ago when the States were new
There were lots of political parties so let’s name a few
They bickered and they fought in this land that was free
But always the sore loser was the G.O.P.
There were Whigs and Tories, Greenbacks, also too
The Progressive Party of 1 – 9 – 1 – 2
Democrats and don’t forget the Labor Party
Yet the sorriest of all was the G.O.P.
The Lord seen some sinnin’ from some of his men
So he grouped ‘em all together in a single pen
He said, “I need a name for you barbarians”
“You’ll be Republicans”
And behave like those…
Whigs and Tories, Greenbacks also too
The Progressive Party of 1 – 9 – 1 – 2
Democrats and don’t forget the Labor Party
The sorriest bunch was still the G.O.P.
Wise Abe Lincoln was there to answer the call
He set free all those slaves so there’d be freedom for all
Teddy Roosevelt did his duty too
These were good deeds well overdue
Just like…
Whigs and Tories, Greenbacks also too
The Progressive Party of 1 – 9 – 1 – 2
Democrats and don’t forget the Labor Party
It looked like there was hope for the G.O.P.
Then came the late 20th century
Them Republicans were up to their old tricks again
Dick Nixon and Watergate led to defeat
Oh, that crooked G.O.P.
There were Whigs and Tories, Greenbacks, also too
The Progressive Party of 1 – 9 – 1 – 2
Then came Ford and Reagan and George Bushes one and two
And reduced the G.O.P. to an old worn shoe
The voters started movin’ to the other side
And with them the hopes of all Republicans died
The Democrats came down and wooed Arlen Specter away
That’s how the Republican Party died and floated away
You’ll see Independents and Democrats too
Green Party members from states both Red and Blue
Libertarians and members of the A.I.P.
We’ll never hear no more from the G.O.P.
Lynnrockets' Blast-Off 