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Ted Nugent Should Face The Music

The fact that we are even commenting on Ted Nugent proves that this is a slow news day. After all, the aging former wanna-be rock star was not even very notable or relevant in his hey day back in the 1970s. He only had one very marginal hit song followed by a seemingly unending string of albums which were almost immediately relegated to the record store’s “discount bin”.

Following his dismal music career, Nugent became a fervent supporter of the NRA and the Republican Party. This makes perfect sense because Nugent is the model Republican citizen with his multiple marriages and eight children with three born out of wedlock. Like Republican Rep. Joe Walsh, Nugent was also a deadbeat dad who failed to pay his child support. Spin magazine even went so far as to include Ted Nugent in its list of the “100 Sleaziest Moments in Rock”. Why? Because in 1978, Nugent began a relationship with seventeen-year-old Hawaii native Pele Massa. Due to the age difference they could not marry so Nugent joined Massa’s parents in signing documents to make himself her legal guardian. Eewww!

Nugent is probably now known best for his violent and vulgar rhetoric directed towards Democratic Party politicians. For example, at a concert on August 21, 2007, Nugent made controversial comments about Democratic Party presidential aspirants Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton and California’s senators Barbara Boxer and Dianne Feinstein. He complained, “Obama’s a piece of shit, and I told him to suck on my machine gun.” Referring to Michigan governor Jennifer Granholm (in office 2003-11), during performances he would frequently interject “Jennifer Granholm, kiss my ass” into his songs, and shoot an arrow at her likeness. In a 2007 interview, in discussing running for governor of Michigan, he stated that Granholm “is not doing an ugly job, but as the perfect woman, she is scrotumless”.

Nugent’s most recent spew of hate speak might land him in jail however. Last week while giving a Mitt Romney stump speech at the 2012 NRA Convention in St. Louis, Nugent said, “If Barack Obama becomes the president in November, again, I will either be dead or in jail by this time next year.” He also compared the Obama administration to coyotes who needed to be shot, and encouraged voters to “chop [Democrats’] heads off in November.”

It would appear that Ted Nugent publicly proclaimed that he would attempt to assassinate or do harm to President Obama if he is elected again. Or, as CNN’s LZ Granderson put it, “A man with a truckload of guns has threatened the life of our president while the country’s at war.” In retrospect the recent comment about Ann Romney never having had a paying job in her life seems to pale in comparison.

Granderson went on to say,

Nugent’s words were: “If Barack Obama is elected, I’ll either be dead or in jail this time next year,” which sounds to me like he’s open to directing his disapproval of Obama in a way that is violent and unlawful. When you see that statement next to Nugent comparing Obama and his colleagues to coyotes that needed to be shot, as well as the need to “ride into that battlefield and chop their heads off in November,” I don’t see how that rant cannot be looked upon as a threat on the president’s life.

Ted Nugent’s words did not go unnoticed by the Secret Service however. He has been called in to speak with members of the agency who are responsible for guarding the President’s life today. Secret Service spokesman George Ogilvie confirmed that the agency was looking into the matter and said, “We are aware of the incident and we are taking appropriate follow-up.”

Looks like Ted Nugent may be forced to face the music.

Please remember to click on the song link below to not only familiarize yourselves with the tune but to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody which is based upon Ted Nugent’s only hit song.

“Cat Scratch Fever” song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WEcHcxW0nXE

RAT ASS FEVER

 (sung to the Ted Nugent song “Cat Scratch Fever”)

Well I don’t know where Ted comes from
But he sure is dumb
Fits in with the G.O.P.
But I do know Nugent blew-it
And he sure blew it good
They give his songs away for free

Ted gives me rat ass fever
Rat ass fever

Well the first time that I thought it
Was on his radio show
Ted’s songs and his monologue did bore
He is nothing but a shock jock
Talking bout a race war
And calling Democrats “whores”

Ted gives me rat ass fever
Rat ass fever
Ted has that rat ass fever
Rat ass fever

He’s not too dangerous
He’s got no brain
Ted Nugent’s stra-stra-strange
No doubt about it
He’s been goin’ insane
Soon he’ll be sayin’ “bye-bye”
He wants Obama dead

(jail break)

He’ll be doing the jail tour
For the things he has planned
They might just throw away the key
No more hate speech on his show
Ted Nugent’s sure to be banned
It should be years before he’s free

Ted gives me rat ass fever
Rat ass fever
Ted has that rat ass fever

Rat ass fever
Rat ass fever
Rat ass fever
Rat ass fever
Rat ass fever

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The Homecoming Queen’s Got A Gun!

I apologize to all of you for the long delay in posting, but I am sure that you can understand that when you lose a loved one it takes a while to get your wits back and to fall back into the daily groove. I would also like to thank all of you that sent supportive messages during my absence. They were very comforting during this most difficult time.

That being said, now it is time to get back to business. Thankfully, once again Sarah Palin has leapt to the front of the daily news  queue. She seems to have a knack for injecting herself into the news cycle whenever the Democrats have a positive development. This time she chose the day of President Obama’s National Health Care Reform Summit to announce that she will be the headline speaker at the National Rifle Association’s annual meeting to be held in Charlotte, North Carolina on May 14th. The forum is undoubtedly  a step up from her already scheduled speaking gigs at the National Bowling Convention and The Liquor Wholesalers Convention. Just the same, it fits in neatly with the allegedly gun-toting mama bear’s manufactured persona as a sexy, tough “Joanne Sixpack”. Rumor has it however, that the former ex-quitting governor of Alaska was actually only the second choice of the NRA. The first choice of the riflemen was the former Face-Shooter in Chief, Dick Cheney but his fifth heart attack will sideline him for awhile.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

It’s Still Rock And Roll To Me link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gLtW_XYKM-8

IT’S STILL LOCK AND LOAD FOR SHE

(sung to the Billy Joel song “It’s Still Rock and Roll To Me ”)

What’s the matter with the clothes she’s wearing?
I believe they’re made from wolf hide
Maybe she should buy a new pair of glasses
She’s lookin’ just a bit pie-eyed
Just when you think Sarah’s sounding kinda murky,
She gives an interview while someone kills a turkey
Everybody’s talkin’ ‘bout polar bears
Funny, but it’s still lock and load for she

What’s the matter with the plane that she’s flying?
It’s not the one she sold on Ebay
She likes to leave the State of Alaska
With her family every single day
First she gave a speech in Minneapolis
Next she was headed right out to Indianapolis
Next day, Green Bay, then it’s off to LA
It’s still lock and load for she

Oh, it doesn’t matter what they say in the papers
‘Cause it’s always been the same damn scene.
She has to leave the state,
‘Cause the politics of hate dictate a nasty travel routine…
Spending the taxpayers’ green.

How about those ethics violations?
And Sarah Baby’s song and dance
She would really love to jail the complainants
If she only had half a chance.
And then there’s Levi and his TV interviews,
If he isn’t careful, he’ll be sporting cement shoes
Defense funds, end runs, new guns for everyone
It’s still lock and load for she

What’s the matter with the company she’s keepin’?
Don’t she know that they’re out of touch?
Like Sarah, they lack a strong education
Can’t accuse them of knowin’ much
That seems to be OK with the G.O.P.
Who needs college when you have a G.E.D.
It’s the new cool, no school, milky eyes and mouth drool
And Sarah is the big Queen bee
Everybody’s talkin’ bout the new party
Funny, but it’s still the same G.O.P.