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Is Mitt Romney Disqualified From Serving As President? (What About His Father?)

This week’s episode of “Republicans Eating Their Own” features likely GOP Presidential nominee Willard M. Romney.

Are you folks familiar with the “Birthers”? Surely you must remember them. They are the folks like once-and-future GOP Presidential candidate Donald Trump, lawyer/dentist/realtor Orly Taitz, nutjob Maricopa County Arizona Sheriff Joe Arpaio and about 75% of Tea Party members. As you will recall, these folks do not believe that President Barack Obama was born in the United States despite all proof to the contrary and not a scintilla of credible evidence to support their allegation. Indeed, as recently as this week the anti-Obama Birther movement re-emerged when Republican U.S. Rep. Vicky Hartzler (MO) said she “doubts” that the birth certificate produced by President Obama is legitimate.

To their credit however, we have just learned that The Birthers are equal opportunity accusers. The Los Angeles Times reports that a group of minor party candidates and conspiracy theorists have sued California Secretary of State Debra Bowen to demand that she verify and/or address “questions concerning the eligibility” of Mitt Romney to vie for the role of commander in chief. The law suit was commenced by Republican write-in candidate John Albert Dummett, Jr., and Markham Robinson, the chairman of the American Independent Party of California, among other politicians and voters. The U.S. Constitution of course, requires the President to be U.S. born and at least 35 years of age.

MSN.com reports that one Birther explains that Romney’s citizenship is up for debate because his dad was born in Mexico. That is correct, Mitt Romney’s father was born in the Mexican colony that Mitt’s great-grandfather founded after fleeing the United States so he could stay married to Romney’s four great-grandmothers. Folks are now wondering if Mitt was, in fact, born in his father’s foreign homeland.

Of course, this also brings up the the fact that Mitt’s father George Romney was not eligible to serve as President when he ran for the Republican nomination in 1968. Where was all the conservative right-wing outrage then?

We can only wonder if Trump, Taitz, Arpaio and the Tea Baggers will take the same interest in Mitt Romney’s place of birth as they have with that of Barack Obama.

Stay tuned. Same moon-bat channel. Same moon-bat time (obscure 1960’s “Batman” television series reference for those of you under the age of 45).

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

“The Addams Family” theme song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hIJoTEliQcU

THE ROMNEY FAMILY

 (sung to the theme song for “The Addams Family”)

They’re creepy and they’re kooky
Four wives is really loopy
They’re out of touch and snooty
The Romney family

They’re house is a museum
Earn millions by per diem
They’re dog, you never see him
The Romney family

(Cheat)
(Suite)
(Wall Street)

The Birthers came a callin’
Mitt Romney’s stock is fallin’
He is just so appallin’
The Romney Family

Mitt(wit) Romney Is One Of The Beautiful People

Think about this for a moment. Could Mitt Romney possibly do any better a job at convincing the American people that he is a filthy rich, privileged, out of touch, heartless and deceiving candidate for President of the United States?

Setting aside for the moment his countless flip-flops on policy issues and the fact that he is now Donald Trump’s BFF, let’s take a close look at some of the facts about this Republican and also at some of the things that he has actually said.

Mitt Romney is one of the richest men in the country. Despite the fact that he has wealth to spare however, as the result of an unfair tax code, he pays less than 14% tax on his earnings. Indeed while earning $ 21.7 million in 2010, Romney paid a lower tax rate than a person earning only $ 50,000 in wages per year. To make matters worse, Romney’s proposed tax overhaul would maintain this preposterously low rate for the wealthy while penalizing people earning $ 40,000 or less per year.

Romney is so out of touch with human emotion that he once strapped the family dog to the roof of his car for a 12 hour drive from Boston to Ontario, Canada. During the trip, The Boston Globe reported, Romney’s oldest son, Tagg, looked around through the rear window and yelled, “Dad — gross!” A brown liquid was dripping down the back window — diarrhea from an animal that just might have been caused by the stress of being inside a cage for 12 hours on top of a car going 60 mph. The Globe described what Romney then did as follows: “As the rest of the boys joined in the howls of disgust, Romney coolly pulled off the highway and into a service station. There he borrowed a hose, washed down Seamus and the car, then hopped back onto the highway. It was a tiny preview of a trait he would grow famous for in business: emotion-free crisis management.” How is that for loving treatment of a beloved family pet?

Let’s now take a look at some of the things Mitt Romney has said:

“I saw my father march with Martin Luther King.” (Romney’s campaign later admitted that they didn’t march on the same day, or in the same city;

“I purchased a gun when I was a young man. I’ve been a hunter pretty much all my life.” (Romney’s campaign later said he’d been hunting twice, once when he was 15, and once in 2006 at a Republican fundraiser;

“Corporations are people, my friend… of course they are.”;

“I like being able to fire people who provide services to me.”;

“I should tell my story. I’m also unemployed.” —Mitt Romney, speaking in 2011 to unemployed people in Florida. Romney’s net worth is over $200 million;

“There were a couple of times I wondered whether I was going to get a pink slip” –Mitt Romney, attempting to identify with the problems of average folk (January 2012);

“I’m running for office for Pete’s sake, we can’t have illegals” –Mitt Romney, recalling his reaction when he learned that there were illegal aliens working the ground on his property, employed by a firm that he subsequently fired (October 2011);

“[Obama’s stimulus program is] one of the biggest peacetime spending binges in American history.” —Mitt Romney in April 2011, while U.S. troops were fighting wars in Afghanistan and Iraq and involved in airstrikes against Libya;

“I believe in an America where millions of Americans believe in an America that’s the America millions of Americans believe in. That’s the America I love.” –Mitt Romney (January 2012); and most recently

“I’m not concerned about the very poor. We have a safety net there.” —Mitt Romney (January 2012).

Face it folks, Mitt Romney is not only a filthy rich, privileged, out of touch, heartless and deceiving candidate for President of the United States, he is also unquestionably unfit to be the President of the United States.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Baby, You’re A Rich Man” song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S8ZnI-ZO8Eo

ROMNEY, YOU’RE A RICH MAN

 (sung to the Beatles song “Baby, You’re A Rich Man”)

How does Mitt feel to be
One of the “beautiful people”?
Now we all know just who you are
Privileged and G.O.P.
And now you are Donald Trump’s star
That’s some stupidity

How does Mitt feel to be
One of the “beautiful people”?
So striking with perfect hair
Rolling in lots of dough
Mitt loves tax codes that are not fair
His tax rate is so low

Romney, you’re a rich man
Romney, you’re a rich man
Romney, you’re a rich man too

Mitt keeps all your money in an offshore bank, that’s what you do
What a thing to do

Romney, you’re a rich man
Romney, you’re a rich man
Romney, you’re a rich man too

How does Mitt feel to be
One of the “beautiful people”?
Inheritance from Daddy
Nothing to do with gays
Layoffs with jobs sent overseas
Happy it is that way

Romney, you’re a rich man
Romney, you’re a rich man
Romney, you’re a rich man too

Mitt keeps all his money in an offshore bank, that’s what you do
What a thing to do

Romney
Romney, you’re a rich man
Romney, you’re a rich man
Romney, you’re a rich man too…

Ding Dong The Witch Is Dead !

And then there were five.

There is a little more room in the clown car known as the Republican field of Presidential wannabes today. Yesterday moonbat-crazy Michele Bachmann quit the race after garnering only 5% of the vote in the Iowa caucuses. She joins other Bozos such as Sarah Palin, Donald Trump, Chris Christie and Herman Cain to exclude themselves from the race. The only difference between Bachmann and the others however, is that Bachmann was the only certifiably insane person to actually make it to an election. The craziest banana in that bunch of course was Sarah Palin but she never entered the race. The next wackiest contestant as measured by the Koo-Koo Counter was Donald Trump but he too shied away from the race. Herman Cain of course, was called away by his girlfriends.

But back to Bachmann. She called a hasty press conference in Iowa yesterday and in the biggest understatement of the GOP primary season to date said, “Last night the people of Iowa spoke with a very clear voice and so I have decided to stand aside.” Gee, do ya think? Despite having been a native Iowan, Bachmann garnered about as much Hawkey respect as fellow Waterloo native, serial killer John Wayne Gacy.

Let’s not mince words, Michele Bachmann has been an irresponsible liar and historically ignorant politician for some time now. She has made a number of  outrageous and/or completely discredited factual statements as illustrated by the following gems compiled by The Huffington Post:

  • And what a bizarre time we’re in, when a judge will say to little children that you can’t say the pledge of allegiance, but you must learn that homosexuality is normal and you should try it.”
  • “I wish the American media would take a great look at the views of the people in Congress and find out: Are they pro-America or anti-America?”
  • “There are hundreds and hundreds of scientists, many of them holding Nobel Prizes, who believe in intelligent design.”
  • “I find it interesting that it was back in the 1970s that the swine flu broke out then under another Democrat president Jimmy Carter. And I’m not blaming this on President Obama, I just think it’s an interesting coincidence.”
  • [Gay marriage] is probably the biggest issue that will impact our state and our nation in the last, at least, thirty years. I am not understating that.”
  • “Normalization [of gayness] through desensitization. Very effective way to do this with a bunch of second graders is take a picture of ‘The Lion King’ for instance, and a teacher might say, ‘Do you know that the music for this movie was written by a gay man?’ The message is: ‘I’m better at what I do, because I’m gay.’”
  • “But we also know that the very founders that wrote those documents worked tirelessly until slavery was no more in the United States.”
  • “It is a brand new, billion-dollar high speed train that is going to go from Disneyland up to Las Vegas…Harry Reid, the Senator from Nevada, was behind this measure, and it makes us wonder, is he more interested in making sure kids start gambling at younger ages?”
  • “The President of the United States will be taking a trip over to India that is expected to cost the taxpayers $200 million a day.”

Like Sarah Palin, Michele Bachmann has said some darned crazy stuff. Indeed, she can match Sarah Palin in the “Tea Party Two-Step” move for move. The Bachmann campaign even stole away Palin’s debate coach. Is that crazy enough for you? Think about that for a moment. Michele Bachmann actually wanted to be coached by the person that is highly responsible for some of the all-time worst (yet laugh-out-loud hilarious) debate and interview performances in televised history.

Ahhh Michele Bachmann we hardly knew ye!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

The Flintstones television theme song link: http://www.televisiontunes.com/Flintstones.html

BACHMANN

(sung to the television theme song “The Flinstones”)

Bachmann. Michele Bachman
A Congresswoman that is bat crazy
She and Sarah Palin
Driving voters from the G.O.P.

She can’t form a sentence that’s complete
Now she’s targeted for big defeat

When you’re Michele Bachmann
You’re just living off the state dime
Endorsing hate crimes
Exposed during prime time

Bachmann. Michele Bachman
Hates Blacks, children and those that are gay
She is clearly brain dead
Can’t seem to get out of her own way

She talks right through the rain, snow and sleet
Every single thought is incomplete

When you’re Michele Bachmann
You’re just living off the state dime
Endorsing hate crimes
Exposed during prime time

Exposed during prime time

Another One Bites The Dust

It is with deep regret that we ask you to click on the song link here for a final time before reading this blog post so that you may enjoy some very appropriate background music which we will forever remember as “Herman’s Theme”.

First it was Tim Pawlenty. Then it was Donald Trump. Next it was Sarah Palin. Then it was Chris Christie. Now it is Herman Cain who has quit his quest for the Republican nomination for President of the United States.

Cain has announced that he is suspending his campaign because of the barrage of sexual harassment and marital infidelity claims that have been levied against him in the last few weeks. Cain made the decision after having had a long conversation with his wife and several girlfriends. Final score? Girlfriends 1, Cain 0. Cain learned that it is very difficult to profess to being a devout family man when you are accused of a life of lewd sexual behavior by several woman who are not your wife. At least Cain will not have to submit to that lie detector test which he volunteered for last month.

During his announcement, Herman Cain continued to deny any misconduct on his part. He said, “These false and untrue allegations continue to be spinned in the media, and in the court of public opinion so as to create a cloud of doubt over me and this campaign and my family. That spin hurts. It hurts my wife. It hurts my family. It hurts me. And it hurts the American people, because you are being denied solutions to our problems.” Cain then said, “I am not going to be silenced and I am not going away.” Immediately thereafter however, Herman Cain was silent and then he went away.

It would have been so much more dramatic if he uttered those famous words which he first voiced when he announced his candidacy…”AW, Shucky Ducky!” In any event, the “Cain Train” (as he refererd to his campaign) is now nothing more than a train wreck. Good riddance, Herman. Don’t let the Koch Brothers kick you in the rear as you exit the public stage.

Inasmuch as near every Republican candidate is imploding before even a single primary election vote has been cast, it is likely that President Obama will run unopposed in 2012.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

“Hurricane” song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YngpWylqQ3A

HERMAN CAIN

 (sung to the Bob Dylan song “Hurricane”)

Herman Cain shouts out to the radical right
He was doin’ pretty fine but now he will fall
His 9-9-9 plan was a resounding dud
Romney and Perry are having a ball
Here comes the story of ol’ Herman Cain
The one-time owner of a pizza chain
This guy is now dead and done
Give him a padded cell for thinkin’ he could-a been
The leader of the world.

Herman was chosen by the Tea Party
The only black man to be brainwashed by the GOP
“I will do it” he said as they were clapping hands
“But my views do not register with all the other black men”
“They’re non-believers” he says and he stops
“There’s already a black man at the top”
“Can I keep my pizza shops?”
“Will I somehow make the scene with my liberal-bashin’
“As a black man on the right?”

Meanwhile far away in another part of town
The Koch Brothers and a couple of friends are drivin’ around
They needed somebody to don the right-wing crown
Had no idea the kind of idiots who were hangin’ around
Michele Bachmann looked like she was about to explode
Just like the time before Mitt Romney can’t stand pat
And Rick Perry is just too dumb and slow
He’s a hack… and he is destined for a big defeat
And Obama must be beat!

All these fellows prompted laugher and had no chance to reach the top
The Koch Brothers oh so sadly were just out prowling around
They said, “the other men running, they are lightweight candidates”
“They’ll look like morons when they get to the debates”
Those ol’ boys were just inclined to scratch their sore heads
Koch said, “Wait a minute boys, here’s our thoroughbred!”
He then suggested good ol’ Herman C.
And though this man had no history
They told him that he could surely be their chosen man.

Four in the morning and they called Herman in
They were downright hospitable and they calmed all his fears
Then Herman Cain looked up through his two crying eyes
Says, “I’m shedding all these tears because I’m your guy”
Yes, this is the story of ol’ Herman Cain
The one-time owner of a pizza chain
This guy is now dead and done
Give him a padded cell for thinkin’ he could-a been
The leader of the world.

Four months later and Wall Street is inflamed
Herman tells the jobless that they are all to blame
While all those bailed-out bankers profit from their greedy games
And Cain sides with the shifty one-percent while he calls the protesters names
He went even further but he went too far
By raisin’ taxes on those workers at the bar
He showed his tax plan had a fatal flaw
Ol’ Herman Cain began to hem and haw…running in fright
Even attacked from the right.

Now all those Tea-Baggers said, “I’m really not sure”
“Raise all our taxes? Please give us a break!”
“We picked you for this cushy job but just maybe you’re not our fellow”
“Now just like flip-flopping Romney, it seems your spine’s made of Jello”
“You best modify your bad behavior”
“Or Newt Gingrich will become our newest flavor!”
“Now you best listen to us, Sir”
“Don’t wanna pin our hopes and dreams upon him”
“Our view of him is quite dim.”

Cain had to take a stand and he had a hunch
But his cigarette smoking ad proved he was out to lunch
It’s a YouTube play and it was a bad day
Now that it’s over he hopes that it just goes away
Reviews weren’t very nice
Still the next time though, he better think twice
His campaign ad an epic fail
What can Herman do next to bail out?
Cuz he’ll never be the man in the White House

All of Herman’s cards were marked in advance
His campaign was a circus, he never had a chance
He tried to cast detractors as drunkards from the slums
To the sane folks who watched he was a corporate-crony bum
He was a big dope with an ego even bigger
No one doubted he was a gold-digger
And he proved he never was “the one”
The Koch Brothers chose the wrong son.. oh yes, indeed
And all the Tea-Baggers agreed.

Cain was later identified
By two former employees who testified
Of sexual harassment of which Cain lied
And the newspapers they all went along for the ride
How can the wife of such a man
Proudly wear his stained wedding band?
While he claims that he was framed?
Herman Cain should be rightly ashamed… to be such a man
Who would deny his blame.

Now the Koch Brothers in their coats and their ties
Are glad to drink martinis and choose their next guy
There must be somebody out there that they can sell
Cuz Herman Cain he was not all that swell
That’s the story of ol’ Herman Cain
The one-time owner of a pizza chain
This guy is now dead and done
Give him a padded cell for thinkin’ he could-a been
The leader of the world.

Donald Trump, The Bankrupt Billionaire For President, Again?

Sorry about the absence of blog entries for the past few days. Lynnrockets and company were enjoying a wonderful long weekend on Cape Cod, Massachusetts with some dear friends from the UK and the laptop was inadvertently left back in Boston. But enough of that, now it is time to get back to work.

It is deja vous all over again in the world of Republican politics. Donald Trump has announced that he may jump back into the GOP Presidential race. Trump, of course was already in the mix of Presidential candidates until he was forced into quitting as the result of the ridicule he endured as a consequence of his “Barack Obama Has No Birth Certificate” campaign. Remember how angry and ridiculous he looked at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner In May as television cameras focused on his scowling face while President Barack Obama publicly belittled him?

Well some time has now passed and Trump has been out of the spotlight busy licking his wounds. Problem is, Donald trump hates being out of the spotlight. So, on the eve of the passage of a debt ceiling bill, the bankrupt billionaire pulled his head out of the sand and announced another possible run. First he lied by saying , “I’m still at the top of the polls” for the best choice of Republican Presidential nominee. Then, in an interview on CNBC, he said, “If the economy continues to be bad, and I believe it will, and the Republicans choose the wrong candidate, [I’ll give my candidacy renewed serious consideration].”

Let’s hope he runs for the simple fact that he will add some more humor to the race. After all, Donald Trump is a perfect fit for the Republican nomination because he shares so many traits with other Republican politicians. The thrice married “family values” Trump is a serial philanderer like Rudy Giuliani and Newt Gingrich. He is a reality television series host like Sarah Palin. The former enthusiastic proponent of universal health care has now flip-flopped on the issue just like Mitt “Personal Mandates are Good” Romney. He is employed by Fox News along with Sarah Palin  (and recently, Bolton and Santorum). Trump is also a “Birther” like Michele Bachmann, who doubts that President Barack Obama was born in the United States. When you consider that The Donald has also filed for bankruptcy on at least 4 occasions, it begs the question, “who would be more suited to lead our nation out of the worst economic downturn since the Great Depression?”

So, buy a box of popcorn and a horn of cotton candy, take your seat and enjoy this election cycle’s version of the Republican Bros. Flying Presidential Circus.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody. Enjoy!

Big Bad John song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BWKGhwwVgKY

BIG DUMB DON

(sung to the Johnny Cash song “Big Bad John”)

Dumb Don
Dumb Don

Every Tuesday at nine, you will see him arrive
He stands 6 foot 5, weighs 289
A reality show host who’s not very hip
He fires contestants if they should give him any lip, he’s Dumb Don

Dumb Don
Dumb Don
Big Dumb Don
Dumb Don

He wears a toupee atop his big dome
Donald Trump acts like a clown, still he seeks the throne
A dim-witted putz, he’s not a bright guy
Claims he robbed Quadafi but that’s a lie – Dumb Don
The nit-wit hails from the borough called Queens
And he has managed to file too many bankruptcies
Filed so many you can’t count them on one hand
Yet Trump still thinks he’ll lead the country to the promised land – Dumb Don

Dumb Don
Dumb Don
Big Dumb Don
Dumb Don

Head made of clay and he loses every dime
He owned a football team that lost all the time
Built a casino, it did not last
Then the taxpayers bailed out his sorry ass – Dumb Don
Through the dust and the smoke as his empire fell
Crawled this maggot of a man that will soon rot in hell
Called a willing banker and he begged for a loan
But when asked for collateral he said “it’s all been blown” – Dumb Don

Dumb Don
Dumb Don
Big Dumb Don
Dumb Don

And now Donald Trump thinks that the Lord up above
Will stroke his election dreams with a velvet glove
Yet little does he know that he can’t be saved
Donald’s campaign is headed to the grave – Dumb Don
Don Trump won’t earn his seat in DC Town
Let’s all watch his big smile turn to a frown
And as The Donald learns life is unkind
All of us just knew it was the end of the line, for Dumb Don

Dumb Don
Dumb Don
Big Dumb Don
Dumb Don

Let’s hope that we are done with this worthless twit
Even Tea-Baggers know Trump’s an idiot
If only the future could be planned
We would love to say, “You’re Fired!” to this shell of a man – Dumb Don

Dumb Don
Dumb Don
Big Dumb Don
Dumb Don

Unimpressive GOP Presidential Candidates Lost In A Field Of Dreams

As of July 2011, the field of confirmed Republican 2012 Presidential candidates is laughable. In modern history has there ever been a more radically-conservative, unaccomplished, boring and out and out insane group to seek our nation’s highest office? At his point President Barack Obama is sitting pretty while he wonders which one of these under-achievers will ultimately square-off against him in November of next year. Let’s take a look at these GOP wannabes.

Mitt Romney: Known as Mitt(wit) in his former home of Massachusetts, Romney’s state ranked 47th (out of 50) in job creation while he was governor. That is especially embarrassing when one considers that he was governor of the Bay State during an economic boom-time. Romney is also known for his propensity to flip-flop on issues more than anyone in history. He was in favor of a woman’s right to choose before he was against it. He was in favor of strict hand-gun regulation before he was against it. He was in favor of a path to citizenship immigration policy before he was against it. Most striking of all, he was the author of the first comprehensive health care reform law which was spearheaded by a personal mandate to purchase health insurance before he was against the new national law which is a virtual clone.

Donald Trump:  Oh wait a second, the bankrupt billionaire has already quit the race. He says that he is considering re-entering however, so let’s keep him on the list for awhile. Donald Trump, really? Say no more.

Newt Gingrich:  The former disgraced Republican Speaker of the House has already been forced out of politics once by his own party. He has been married three times and has switched religious affiliations as often. He claims to represent the interests of working-class Americans as he runs up million dollar credit card bills at posh jeweler Tiffany. Nearly his entire staff has already quit on him and his campaign is approximately $1 million in debt. Does Gingrich sound like a good candidate to lead the nation out of its economic woes?

Tim Pawlenty:  BORING!!! Pawlenty is the former Governor of Minnesota who claimed to be fiscally conservative while agreeing to spend hundreds of millions of taxpayer dollars to build a baseball stadium for the millionaire owner of the Minnesota Twins. His gubernatorial election wins have always been by the slimmest of margins. His approval rating among his home state Minnesotans is always less than 50%. Pawlenty also pardoned a man named Jeremy Geifer, who in 1993 spent 45 days in jail and registered as a sex offender for impregnating his 14-year-old girlfriend when he was 19. Thereafter, Geifer’s daughter, the one whose conception sparked the original conviction, accused Geifer of raping her before, during and after Pawlenty pardoned the ex-con. Think of 1988 Presidential candidate Michael Dukakis and his “Willy Horton problem”. All of this may explain why Pawlenty’s campaign has only been able to raise $4.5 million in donations.

Jon Huntsman: The former Utah Governor served in the Obama Administration as Ambassador to China. In letters to President Obama he said, “You are a remarkable leader, and it has been a great honor getting to know you”, “the graciousness and kindness you have shown me and my family – particularly your confidence in my ability to represent you in China”, “I have enormous regard for your experience, sense of history and brilliant analysis of world events” and “I must report that Sec. Clinton has won the hearts and minds of the State Dept. bureaucracy — no easy task. And after watching her in action, I can see why. She is well-read, hard working, personable and has even more charisma than her husband! It’s an honor to work with her”. When Huntsman is forced out of the Republican race, perhaps he can switch allegiances and campaign on behalf of Barack Obama.

Herman Cain:  The former pizza shop owner and lobbyist opposes abortion even in the case of incest or rape. He is a racist who dislikes Muslims. He has stated that he was “uncomfortable” when he found that the surgeon operating on his liver and colon cancer was Muslim because, “”based upon the little knowledge that I have of the Muslim religion, you know, they have an objective to convert all infidels or kill them”. When asked in asked in March 2011 if he would feel comfortable appointing a Muslim to his administration or as a Judge. Cain said “No, I will not … There’s this creeping attempt, there’s this attempt, to gradually ease Shariah Law, and the Muslim faith into our government. It does not belong in our government”. Cain has also stated that president Barack Obama was  “raised in Kenya”. In short, Cain is an unhealthy pizza with everything bad on it. Even Hitler finds Herman Cain unelectable. Watch this newly discovered secret footage:

Ron Paul:  Ron Paul is our first candidate that belongs in the moonbat-crazy Tea Party Division of the Republican Party.  He is known as “Dr. No” because of his insistence that he will “never vote for legislation unless the proposed measure is expressly authorized by the Constitution”. He opposes birthright citizenship. He advocates for the elimination of the Federal Reserve. He would deny women their right of freedom of choice in birth. He believes that the civil Rights act of 1964 is unconstitutional. He is worried that our nation’s gold supply might have gone missing from Fort Knox. He is also a racist who said this in his very own newsletter, “Boy, it sure burns me to have a national holiday for that pro-communist philanderer Martin Luther King. I voted against this outrage time and time again as a Congressman. What an infamy that Ronald Reagan approved it! We can thank him for our annual Hate Whitey Day.” And this, “opinion polls consistently show only about 5% of blacks have sensible political opinions”. And this, “if you have ever been robbed by a black teen-aged male, you know how unbelievably fleet-footed they can be”.

Michele Bachmann:  This Minnesota Congresswoman is absolutely the craziest bat in the GOP belfry. She too belongs in the moonbat-crazy Tea Party Division of the Republican Party. She too opposes abortion even in the case of rape or incest. She hates gays and considers them “part of Satan”. She denounces govt. subsidies and Medicaid except when she, her husband and family are recipients of same. She has said the following: “And what a bizarre time we’re in, when a judge will say to little children that you can’t say the pledge of allegiance, but you must learn that homosexuality is normal and you should try it”, “There are hundreds and hundreds of scientists, many of them holding Nobel Prizes, who believe in intelligent design” and “[Gay marriage] is probably the biggest issue that will impact our state and our nation in the last, at least, thirty years. I am not understating that”. She also believes the the famous “shot heard round the world” was fired in New Hampshire and that our founding fathers “fought tirelessly to end slavery”. Now that is a bag-full of crazy.

Rick Santorum,   Santorum is the former GOP Senator from Pennsylvania who was soundly defeated by Democrat Bob Casey, Jr. in 2006. He lost by a margin of  59% to 41% which is the largest margin of defeat for an incumbent Senator since 1980. He denies the theory of evolution and is adamantly anti-gay. He once said that gay marriage would ultimately lead to men having sex with dogs.

Gary Johnson  Never heard of him.

Fred karger,  Never heard of him.

Andy Martin:  Never heard of him.

Thaddeus McCotter:  Never heard of him.

Roy Moore: Never heard of him.

Buddy Roemer:  Never heard of him.

With this group of clowns who needs Sarah Palin?

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

“All Together Now” song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LtjhW-ERoak

ALL TOGETHER NOW

 (sung to the Beatles song “All Together Now”)

One, two, three, four
Tim Pawlenty makes me snore
Five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten I loathe you

A, B, C, D
Bachmann’s drinking too much tea
E, F, G, H, I, J I loathe you

  • Boom, bam, boom
  • Boom, bam, boom

Mitt’s a dip
Boom, bam, boom
Newt’s crazy
Boom, bam, boom
Paul’s a dope
Boom, bam, boom
Where’s Christie?

All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now

Black, white, green, red
Listen to what Herm Cain said
Pink, brown, yellow, orange and blue I loathe you

All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now

Rick’s a twit
Boom, bam, boom
Jon’s a dweeb
Boom, bam, boom
Not a hope
Boom, bam, boom
Nobodies!

All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now….

A Saturday List To Think About And Comment Upon

Please read this list and then describe what thought comes to mind in the comment section:

  • Glenn Beck
  • Ron Paul
  • Rush Limbaugh
  • Donald Trump
  • Michelle Malkin
  • Newt Gingrich
  • Ann Coulter
  • Michele Bachmann
  • Sean Hannity
  • Sarah Palin
  • Laura Ingraham
  • Rand Paul
  • Tucker Carlson
  • Rudi Giuliani
  • Christine O’Donnell
  • Larry Craig
  • Michael Savage
  • David Vitter
  • Scott Brown
  • Dick Morris
  • Fox News
  • Dick Cheney
  • Tea Party

Here’s what comes to my mind:

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Strangers In The Night song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hlSbSKNk9f0&feature=related

STRANGE ONES ON THE RIGHT

(sung to the Frank Sinatra song “Strangers In The Night”)

Strange ones on the right,
Fox News romancers
Not so very bright,
With our finances
This Tea Party love
Should be viewed as taboo

Palin shouting lies
And fear inciting
Rand Paul is hostile
And so damn frightening
Boehner has no heart
McConnell has no clue

Strange ones on the right,
Abnormal people
They are strange ones on the right
Not one sane moment
They should be in a freak-show
Little do they know
It would just enhance our day
If like Bristol they’d dance away and –

And on Fox every night,
They’re all together
Lovers on the right
In love forever
It’s an ugly sight
Those strange ones on the right

(Tea-Bagging break)

Don’t look now just glance away
Here comes their jailbird Tom Delay

You can join their fight
And hang together
Only if you’re white
Birds of a feather
Taking their last flight
Those strange ones on the right

Not Coming To A Theatre Near You: New Palin Film

CNN reports that a secretly-produced, $1 million feature film titled, “The Undefeated,” about Sarah Palin will debut in Iowa next week, a source confirms to CNN.

Sarah Palin, the greatest self-promoting narcissist this side of Donald Trump and P.T. Barnum commissioned  a conservative filmmaker to make a feature-length motion picture about her. Real Clear Politics reports that she hired some unknown by the name of Stephen K. Bannon to produce, film and market the ego-stroking movie titled “The Undefeated”  The film is about Palin’s political career up to her disastrous run for the vice presidency in 2008, which is obvious because she (and John McCain) were soundly defeated in that election. She was also defeated in the 2002 election for Alaska’s lieutenant-governor, so this film’s title appears to be rather misleading at best.

So, who is this Bannon guy? He is a former Goldman Sachs banker who now makes right-wing propaganda films. His previous flops include, “In The Face Of Evil” (about Ronald Reagan); “Generation Zero” (about how 1960′s hippies caused the 2008 economic collapse) and “Fire From The Heartland” (about conservative women such as Ann Coulter, Michelle Malkin, Michele Bachmann and Palin). Bannon claims to have won Best Documentary at the Liberty Film Festival, but that festival was formed to give awards to right-wing filmmakers. In short, Stephen K. Bannon is an unaccomplished conservative mouthpiece.

In “The Undefeated”, Bannon’s (and Palin’s) goal is, as Real Clear Politcs puts it, “to help catapult Palin from the presidential afterthought she has become in the eyes of many pundits directly to the front lines of the 2012 GOP conversation.” That website also reports that although Palin is not interviewed directly, the film features on-camera interviews and commentaries from 10 Alaskans who played different roles in her political rise, as well as six Lower 48 denizens who defend her in more visceral terms, including prominent conservative firebrands Mark Levin, Andrew Breitbart and Tammy Bruce. How is that for a trio of radical propagandists? The film extols every one of Palin’s minor successes but fails to even make mention of the less flattering topics, such as the Troopergate saga — which had little effect on the VP campaign but left a lastingly negative impression of Palin in the eyes of many Alaskans — and her unimpressive series of interviews with Katie Couric. did you expect anything different?

The film is likely to be released only in a few small hamlets of radical conservatism, so it is unlikely that most Americans will ever be exposed to it. There is however, a little something in the film that progressives might enjoy. The Real Clear Politics article describes the opening sequence as a fast-paced sequence of clips showing some of the prominent celebrities who have used sexist, derogatory and generally vicious language to describe her. Rosie O’Donnell, Matt Damon, Bill Maher, David Letterman, and Howard Stern all have brief cameos before comedian Louis C.K. goes off on a particularly ugly anti-Palin riff. “I hate her more than anybody,” C.K. says at the end of his tirade, the rest of which is unfit to print in a family-friendly blog.

Sarah Palin, the former ex-quitting half-term governor of Alaska has had her own reality television series, is a host on Fox News, has embarked on two nationwide book-signing tours and now is the subject of a feature-length motion picture. Nonetheless, she once portrayed President Barack Obama as more of a celebrity than a serious politician. Who does she think she is kidding?

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

My Way song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6E2hYDIFDIU

MY WAY

(sung to Frank Sinatra’s “My Way”)

And now, the end is near;
To all of you, I’m glad I met ya’
Alaskans, let’s make it clear,
Did I fool you?, Oh yeah, “ya betcha!”

You’ve met Todd, the “First Dude”,
His snowmachine is in the driveway.
Is he drunk? My God, he’s blitzed,
The D.U.I. way.

Regrets, I’ve had a few;
More than most, I will remember.
My lipstick and my hair-do
But most of all, 4th of November.

Each day since then has been
Another never-ending whine and cry day,
And I’ve been told by Newt Gingrich,
To hit the highway.

Yes, there were times, that now you know
I failed to declare “per diem” dough.
What’s this about “stimulus funds”?
Let’s just cling to, our God and guns.
Oh, I just winked and then I blinked;
And did it my way.

Nicknames, I’ve had a few
There’s “Caribou” and “Barracuda”
Now I’m known as “Sarah Who?”
Cuz Tina Fey is so much cuter.

To think I’m a has been;
And I can’t see – beyond next Friday
Woe, oh woe is me,
I won’t have my day.

For what is a gal, what has she got?
When her career, has gone to pot.
How to appear on nightly news;
When she’s inept at interviews.
She’s still exposed despite those clothes
Please hit the highway!

Yes, hit the highway.

Newt Blingrich Gets The Boot (Again) !!!

Newt Gingrich’s days as a viable Republican Presidential candidate would appear to be finally over.

Gingrich of course, stumbled almost immediately out of the gate, after declaring in a May appearance on NBC’s “Meet the Press” that the House Republican budget plan to destroy Medicare was too “radical” and represented “right-wing social engineering.” He caught so much flak from Republicans across the board that he felt compelled to apologize to the plan’s author, Rep. Paul Ryan (Not seen as a very “Presidential” move). Indeed, Gingrich went so far as to seemingly flip-flop (ala Mitt(wit) Romney) and endorse the plan. He then made a fool of himself by issuing threats to any Democrats that might be so bold to use Gingrich’s “actual words” against him in campaign ads. Gingrich looked more like a lost child than a serious candidate.

“Radical Right-Wing Social Engineering-Gate” was quickly followed by “Tiffany-Gate”. It was revealed that Gingrich had purchased up to half a million dollars worth of jewelry at Tiffany & Company. To make matters worse, Tiffany had lobbied the agency which employed his third wife. Such lavish expenditures on luxury bling did not jibe well with Gingrich’s self-promoted title as a common-sense fiscal conservative. The ostentatious purchases also did not sit well with those hard-working blue-collar conservative members of the middle-class with whom Gingrich claimed an alliance. The financially struggling conservative masses could no longer be counted upon to vote for this Donald Trump wannabe.

Next, Gingrich was hit with “Abandon Ship-Gate” as virtually his entire campaign staff abruptly quit. Like so many rats fleeing a sinking ship, his press secretary Rick Tyler, campaign manager Rob Johnson, senior strategists Sam Dawson and Dave Carney as well as 12 other high-ranking staffers announced that they had had enough with their recalcitrant boss. Gingrich was left with the bare bones of a staff but he vowed to re-invigorate his campaign and carry on.

Problem was, Newt Gingrich did not expect to suddenly become embroiled in “Hands In The Cookie Jar-Gate”. Last week it was revealed by ABC News that “a non-profit charity founded by Newt Gingrich to promote freedom, faith and free enterprise also served as another avenue to promote Gingrich’s political views, and came dangerously close, some experts say, to crossing a bright line that is supposed to separate tax-exempt charitable work from both the political process and such profit-making enterprises as books and DVDs. The charity, Renewing American Leadership, not only featured Gingrich on its website and in fundraising letters, it also paid $220,000 over two years to one of Gingrich’s for-profit companies, Gingrich Communications. It purchased cases of Gingrich’s books and bought up copies of DVDs produced by another of the former House speaker’s entities, Gingrich Productions. ”

When questioned about the apparent conflict of interest, Gingrich told an ABC reporter, “I’m not concerned about that. The American people aren’t concerned about that. Try covering the speech.” Unfortunately for Newt however, the American people were concerned about “that”. You see, his political action committee was only able to raise a miniscule $ 53,000.00 in 3 months. The few donors remaining allegedly consisted of energy companies that are some of the nation’s worst polluters and a Dallas strip club owner who Gingrich once promoted as the “entrepreneur of the year”.

So, when fundraising gets tough, what happens? “Abandon Ship-Gate II” of course. CNN reported yesterday that Gingrich’s top 2 fundraisers suddenly quit. Fundraising director Jody Thomas and fundraising consultant Mary Heitman have now joined the aforementioned 16 other staffers to abandon the S.S. Gingrich. The big question is now, “Who (if anyone) is left on board?”

But wait! There’s more! It was also revealed yesterday that we now have “Tiffany-Gate II”. CNN reports that Gingrich had an even larger second line of credit at the high-end Tiffany & Co. jewelry store. Gingrich’s personal financial disclosure campaign filing will show he had a line of credit of up to $1 million with the store, in addition to a revolving charge account revealed last month. How is that for a double-dose of Gingrich fiscal conservatism?

It took only one so-called “Gate” to bring down GOP President Richard “Tricky Dick” Nixon. Can Gingrich survive 6 and counting? Don’t bet on it. Remember, Newt Gingrich also has an ugly political and personal history. He is the disgraced former Republican Speaker of the House who was forced out of leadership and his Congressional seat by his own party. He is also a serial philanderer. He has been married three times so far. In 1962, he married Jackie Battley, his former high school geometry teacher. In the spring of 1980, Gingrich left Battley after having an affair with Marianne Ginther. According to Battley, Gingrich visited her while she was in the hospital recovering from cancer surgery to discuss divorce. Six months after the divorce was final, Gingrich wed Marianne Ginther in 1981. In the mid-1990s, Gingrich began an affair with House of Representatives staffer Callista Bisek, who is 23 years his junior. They continued their affair during the Clinton/Lewinsky scandal, when Gingrich as a leader of the Republican investigation of President Clinton for perjury in connection with his alleged affairs with Paula Jones and Monica Lewinsky, hypocritically called for the president’s impeachment. In 2000, Gingrich married Bisek shortly after his divorce from second wife Ginther. Gingrich converted to Catholicism in 2009 but many divorced Catholics are also upset with him as the result of his breaking of church doctrine by marrying after a divorce.

In light of all of the above, you can take this to the bank: Newt Gingrich’s days as a presidential candidate are numbered and that number is very small.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

I Am Woman song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MGMESM8JKOg

I AM GINGRICH

(sung to the Helen Reddy song “I Am Woman”)

I am Gingrich, hear me snore
The G.O.P. showed me the door
In ’98, I was thrown out on my rear end
‘cause I called for a class war
When Clinton dallied with that whore
So what if I also had a lady friend

Oh yes I’m despised
And I caused a lot of pain
I’ve been married thrice
And I will wed again
Remember, “Contract With America”
I was wrong (wrong)
Now I’m invisible (invisible)
I am Gingrich

Now I’ve shown you that I’m tasteless
By calling Sonia a racist
When I’m the guy that bloviates on ghettos
My lies will grow much stronger
And my nose will grow much longer
When I start to call Sotomayor a “Hoe”

Oh yes I’m despised
And I caused a lot of pain
I’ve been married thrice
And I will wed again
Remember, “Contract With America”
I was wrong (wrong)
Now I’m invisible (invisible)
I am Gingrich

I am Gingrich don’t you know
Democrats know that I blow
Fox News spreads my fat visage across the land
And I’ll use those embryos
And those nameless “baby does”
If it helps me to advance my final stand

Oh yes I’m despised
And I caused a lot of pain
I’ve been married thrice
And I will wed again
Remember, “Contract With America”
I am wrong (wrong)
And I’m invisible (invisible)
I am Gingrich
Oh, I am Gingrich
I am invisible
I am wrong

(Fading)
I am Gingrich
I am invisible
I am wrong
I am Gingrich

Is Palin Facing A Birth Certificate Issue Of Her Own? Somebody Call Donald Trump And The Birthers!

Birthers of a different kind.

Since the birth of her son Trig sometime in 2008, there have been questions raised in the blogosphere and in some remote corners of the main stream media about whether Sarah Palin faked that particular pregnancy. Queries have been made as to whether her co-workers ever noticed if she looked pregnant. The credibility of Palin’s story that her water broke while in Texas and yet she still elected to take a very lengthy and risky flight back to Alaska (during which she failed to mention the situation to flight staff) to have a baby (which she allegedly knew had Down Syndrome and was 6 weeks premature) at one of two different hospitals where she claims he was born has been questioned. There is a question about photos of the baby having a malformed ear and then other photos wherein the ear appears to look normal.

Is this stuff conspiracy theory or is there some meat on this bone? Who knows, but now after the release by the State of Alaska of some 24,000 emails which Palin attempted to block, there is added fuel to the babygate fire. BusinessInsider.com reports that “Andrew Sullivan and others who have read one of Sarah Palin’s newly released emails think it supports the theory that her Trig pregnancy was a hoax.”

A few days after Trig’s birth in 2008, Sarah Palin transmitted an email to family and friends in which she pretended to be the voice of God commenting on the subject. Sullivan contends that the newly released emails show that the “God” email was actually written 11 days before it was sent. It was therefore written about 7 weeks before Trig’s expected due date (he was born 6 weeks early). It was also written about a week before Palin’s water allegedly broke, signalling that the baby would be born prematurely. The email in question however, says in pertinent part,

“I let Trig’s mom have an exceptionally comfortable pregnancy so she could enjoy every minute of it, and I even seemed to rush it along so she could wait until near the end to surprise you with the news…”

BusinessInsider.com states that Andrew Sullivan queries as to how Sarah Palin would “know 6 weeks before the due date and 1 week before her water broke that the pregnancy would be “exceptionally comfortable” and that God would seem to “rush it along”…unless she knew the outcome?” Sullivan also points out “that the “God” letter was reprinted almost verbatim in Palin’s book Going Rogue… except that the phrase ‘rush it along’ was struck from the text.”

Hmmm, now that is some spicy stuff. Is it possible that the failed 2008 Republican Vice Presidential candidate and potential 2012 Presidential candidate has been lying to the American people? Who knows, but one thing is certain, Palin could end the controversy merely by releasing Trig’s birth certificate which would provide the date and place of birth as well as the names of the parents. Palin must understand this. After-all, the former ex-quitting half-term Gov. of Alaska joined the Tea Party in questioning not only President Barack Obama’s place of birth, but also the legitimacy of the birth certificate which he released.

Somebody please call Donald Trump and the Birthers to finally put this story to rest!

Remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Birthday song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_Nz9B1XFio

BIRTHERS

(sung to the Beatles song “Birthday”)

They deny his birthplace
Hawaii says “screw ye!”
Racists in the first place
“Stop wasting all of our time”
“We’ve confirmed his birthplace”
Birthers don’t have a clue

Birthers are a part of the Tea Party
They are dumber than Laurel and Hardy
Birthers are a part of the Tea Party

They have all had a chance – Birthers
At a certificate glance – Birthers
Too dumb to zip up their pants – Birthers
Rants!!!

(fact denial break)

Less grey matter than plants – Birthers
Repeating racist rants – Birthers
Too dumb to zip up their pants – Birthers
Rants!!!

They deny his birthplace
Hawaii says “screw ye!”
Racists in the first place
“Stop wasting all of our time”
“We’ve confirmed his birthplace”
Birthers don’t have a clue