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Sarah Palin Memorial Month Continues…

Now that Sarah Palin has quit once again and her rapid fade from relevance has commenced, we thought it might be fun to memorialize her by re-posting some of our favorite Palin-centric columns and song parodies from the past. Let’s raise our collective glasses and toast the former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska! Ah, Sarah, we hardly knew ye!

This column was originally posted on April 14, 2010. It comments upon Sarah Palin’s Tax Day Tea Party rally in Boston.

Palin’s Boston Tea Party Bombs!

The same outfit worn in Boston today.

Although Fox News will report that attendance was in the millions, the actual head count for Sarah Palin’s Tea-Bagger rally on Boston Common today was approximately 1000 (including protesters). Let’s put that in perspective. The population of metropolitan Boston is 4.5 million and only 1000 bothered to see Sarah Palin on a bright sunny Spring day with temperatures in the mid sixties . More people than that show up on a daily basis at Boston Common to watch a squirrel and a pigeon fight over a discarded pretzel. The television coverage of NECN embarrassingly showed a lot more green grass than human beings on the Common.

Palin protesters were present. Many were sporting signs which said, “Health Care Reform. No Thanks To Palin”. Another read, “Hey Sarah, Family Values = 30 Million Newly Insured Americans”. We will update with more on the protest signs as we learn more. One of the Tea-Baggers held a sign which said, “Remember When Dissent Was Patriotic?”, only it was misspelled as “Dessent”. How appropriate and predictable.

Palin was dressed in a red leather jacket with a flag button (as usual). She said that husband Todd was with her and that he liked this type of tea party more than the ones he was forced to attend with other first ladies when he was the “First Dude”. The former ex-quitting governor of Alaska spoke only for about 20 minutes. It was the usual nonsense drivel in which she criticized the current administration without offering even one single alternative policy initiative. She claimed that “radical” changes like the health care reform law and student loan reforms have alienated our allies. Huh? She uttered her tiresome refrain that “Bostonians, like the rest of America will continue to cling to our Constitution, our guns and our religion”. Of course, Palin did not realize that Massachusetts favors and harbors some of the most strict gun laws in the nation. Sarah Palin needs to do some homework about the venues where she speaks. Next, she said that “the government works for the people, not the other way around”. Perhaps she should ask the millions of federal, state and municipal employees about that doozy. In rapid succession she then said, “nu-cue-ler” “drill baby, drill” and “Ya betcha”. The best part of her speech was that the amplifiers cut out repeatedly such that most of the small crowd could not hear a word that she spoke. The rally was scheduled to last until 1:00 pm but the crowd was gone by 11:25 am.

At one point, Ms. Quittypants attempted to rev up the quiet gathering by claiming that she had a personal connection to Boston. She claimed to have been on a youth hockey trip here when she met 1980 Olympic hockey captain and champion, Mike Eruzione. Problem is, Palin forgot his first name and completely mispronounced his last name. Of course Mike Eruzione (the good Democrat that he is) was not present at the rally. Then again, neither was newly elected nudist Republican Senator Scott Brown, Republican gubernatorial candidate Charles Baker or Republican congressional candidate Jeffrey Perry. The Massachusetts Republican candidates (few that there are) realize that Sarah Palin and her violent yet silly rhetoric is toxic to their election chances.

Sarah Palin was introduced to the tiny audience by local uber-conservative talk radio host and columnist for the Boston Herald (Enquirer). Michael Graham. Graham airs his acerbic daily radio show on Boston’s WTKK (affectionately known as WKKK as the result of its almost entirely right wing lineup). It is interesting to note that Graham drew criticism from blogs on the Left and the Right for comments about Bill and Hillary Clinton made on CNN Headline News’ Glenn Beck Show on June 20, 2007. Referring to a Clinton campaign ad based on the final episode of The Sopranos, Graham said “…didn’t you at some point want to see, like, Paulie Walnuts, somebody come in here and just whack them both right there? Wouldn’t that have been great?…Come on! Where’s “Big Pussy”? Come on! Let’s make it happen…I wanted that.” Graham adores and advocates gun violence as much as his hero Sarah Palin.

Thankfully, the response to this version of the Boston Tea Party was tepid.

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

American Pie song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uAsV5-Hv-7U

ALASKAN PIE

(sung to the Don McLean song “American Pie”)

A long, long time ago…
I can still remember
Palin’s slutty flight attendant style
And when she blew her only chance
With John McCain in the Big Dance
In light of the pregnancy of her child

In February she did shiver
When Levi sold her down the river
Bad news at her doorstep
She didn’t have no more pep

The allegations she denied
Of all those gifts that she did hide
She took Alaskans for a ride
As she cajoled and lied

So bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
And your background boys were making turkey head pie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July

Did you quit the job you love
After talking with God up above?
Did the good Lord tell you so?
Are you still pals with Plumber Joe?
Do dead fish still go with the flow?
And can Todd’s sister score me some good blow?

Well you know that your prospects are grim
’cause you’re way way out there on a limb
You’re sure to have the blues
Man, you screwed up those interviews

You’re just a lonely mid-aged “hockey mom”
With real deep frustration and a man that’s dumb
You’re just a third rate school alum
Today your future died

We started singing
Bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
And your background boys were making turkey head pie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July

Now for two years all you did was drone
Remember Sarkozy on the phone?
But just what will your future be?
Will you pester us like a has been queen?
Will you pout and whine like a spoiled teen?
In a voice that sounds so shrill and mean,

Oh, and when you leave Wasilla town
Take along your beauty pageant crown
And bridges that you burned
Oh, please never return
And those hits you took will leave some marks
A “Barracuda” is no shark
And you were always in the dark
Today your future died

We were singing
Bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
And your background boys were making turkey head pie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July

Helter skelter you are sure to swelter
The ice in your veins may even melt-ah
Ethics problems coming fast
You’re landing hard on your ass
No throwing stones in a house of glass
When you’re starring in a demon cleansing mass

Now your thinning hair reeks with perfume
You’re a spaceman cuz you see the moon
Your fans would shout and dance
Oh, to your “drill baby drill” chants!
Katie Couric made you squirm and squeal
And that was when your fate was sealed
Do you recall what was revealed
The day your future died?

We started singing
Bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
And your background boys were making turkey head pie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July

Oh, and then that look upon your face
Not knowing a Supreme Court case
Forget about the Bush Doctrine
So come on: jack be nimble, jack be quick
Sarah Palin’s no “Maverick”
Cuz she’s just a “Barbie” to Todd’s “Ken”

As we watched you on that debate stage
Your hands were clenched in fists of rage
Everyone then could tell
You were praying for the bell
And as you hoped that you could land a right,
To salvage something of the night
We saw Biden laughing with delight
That day your future died

Joe was singing
Bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
And your background boys were making turkey head pie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July

Palin’s a girl who has the blues
And she cannot handle interviews
She quit her job and walked away
She could not take it any more
She hightailed it right out the door
Just like a scared child, she up and ran away

And in the streets the voters beamed,
The good Lord had fulfilled their dreams
Sherry Johnston was tokin’
The “barracuda” broken
We did not really want to boast
But “Mama Bear” was finally toast
She’ll write about it through her ghost
That day her future died.

And we were singing
Bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
And your background boys were making turkey head pie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July

We were singing
Bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
And your background boys were making turkey head pie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July

Rush Limbaugh Is A Recklessly Rancid Repeat Racist

Rush Limbaugh is “THE VOICE” of conservative talk radio. He has held that dubious distinction since about 1984. He has also been an ignorant outspoken racist for at least that long.

Limbaugh is not a very well educated man. He flunked out of Southeast Missouri State University after only two semesters and one summer session. To date, he has no college degree. As evidence of his lack of commitment and self control, he has also been married four times and is an admitted drug addict. In short, Rush Limbaugh has all the qualifications one would require to influence a large and similarly dysfunctional audience of illiterates that anxiously wait for his next command. Remember “Operation Chaos”?

Rush Limbaugh is also a blatant racist. He resigned under pressure in 2003 after only a very brief stint co-hosting ESPN‘s “Sunday NFL Countdown” after he claimed that quarterback Donovan McNabb was overrated because the media wanted to see a black quarterback succeed. (BTW, McNabb is still playing professional football). Later, he talked about football once again when he said, “Look, let me put it to you this way: the NFL all too often looks like a game between the Bloods and the Crips without any weapons”. Limbaugh also once referred to New York Yankees owner George Steinbrenner as a “cracker who made African-Americans millionaires”.  Remember when he said, “The NAACP should have riot rehearsal. They should get a liquor store and practice robberies”? How about when he told an African American female caller to his show to, “Take that bone out of your nose and call me back”? The examples of Limbaugh’s racism go on and on but we will leave the rest of his past offenses for another time.

For now, let’s concentrate on what he said last week. To no one’s surprise, Limbaugh accompanied a rant about how Barack Obama’s presidency is “graffiti on the walls of American history” with both a reference to Obama’s “gang” and an illustration of a “tagged” Mount Rushmore on his website.

Here are Rush Limbaugh’s exact words:

This guy is an utter wrecking ball all by himself on the world stage to the point now of getting embarrassing.  This presidency of Obama’s, it doesn’t take much to irritate the left. Try this:  “Barack Obama’s presidency is graffiti on the walls of American history.”  That’s what his administration is.  No more than graffiti on the walls of American history.  We have a juvenile delinquent for a president who has ruined so much public and private property, not even his gang is making much of an effort here to protect him.  It’s an utter disaster..

Racist enough for you?

Today’s song parody deals with Limbaugh’s drug addiction. He used to enjoy spouting off about the necessity of drug offenders receiving stiff jail sentences. That all changed, however, in 2006 when he surrendered to Palm Beach County (Florida) officials on charges of doctor shopping as the result of his own drug addiction to oxycodone and hydrocodone. He did everything within his power to avoid just such a sentence. Speaking of stiff sentences, let’s not forget that in June of 2006 he was detained by drug enforcement officials at Palm Beach International Airport when he attempted to bring a bottle of Viagra (the prescription was in somebody else’s name, by the way) into the country after his island vacation with a bunch of men.

Please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

The No No Song song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jW2By0lGDyk

THE HO HO SONG

(sung to the Ringo Starr song “The No No Song”)

A doctor that I know just came from the pharmacy
He smiled at Rush and opened up his hand
Then he held out some Oxycontin tablets
He said they were the finest in the land

And Rush said, “Ho ho ho ho”
Do you have any more
My back is feeling really damn sore
If I say please
Can I have more of these
My habit has become really hardcore

A friend of Rush Limbo who wears a hat made of tin
Came on the show and opened up his hand
When he revealed twelve tablets of Vicodin
Rush was so happy he performed handstands

And Rush said, “Ho ho ho ho”
Do you have any more
I always come to you for a score
Without more of these
I’m in a cold-turkey freeze
And ditto-heads need someone to adore

(hallucination break)

A ditto-head I know said he could make organs grow
He smiled and said Rush would not need his hand
Then he gave him some blue Viagra pills, Oh
And said that things will rise upon command

And Rush said, “Ho ho ho ho”
Do you have any more
My love life has become such a chore
Please, pretty please
I’m flying overseas
The boys there like it when it hits the floor

Yes, Rush said, “Ho ho ho ho”
I just love the drug store
Painkillers, Viagra and much more
It’s such a tease
All of those varieties
I’ll grab a bunch and head right out the door.

Jay “The Man of a Thousand Lies” Severin Is Fired By Boston Radio Station

Finally Silenced!

The obnoxious liar is dead! Long live the liar!

Radio listeners in greater Boston were rewarded today with the news that racist, lying right wing talk radio host Jay Severin has been fired. Jay Severin was a long-time conservative talk show host who’s program aired on a Boston, MA radio station, known to progressives as WKKK. Severin’s show however, was indefinitely suspended by the station on March 30th as the result of the overwhelmingly negative response to his recent misogynistic on-air rantings about workplace sexual harassment.

While defending American Apparel executive Dov Charney, who is being sued by many of his former female employees for sexual harassment, Severin referred to the female plaintiffs as “whores” and “liars”. He then went on to boast about his personal sexual conquests in the workplace. He said that when he owned his own company, he hired “mostly attractive young women” and had sex with nearly all of them. He went on to say,

“I slept with virtually every young college girl I hired to be an intern or an employee for my firm. All I was, was a young man who was the boss and I did it because I could. Those girls that got to sleep with me got to know their boss better, they got to go on trips, they got to travel in some cases to various parts of the world, to see things and meet people that they never would have seen or done…These were not whores. These were Ivy League graduates, young women or interns from Ivy League institutions who were interested in politics and government. We’d have drinks together at the end of the day and we’d spend the night together. I should feel badly about that?”

How’s that for reasoned radio conversation. As a lifelong Bostonian who has listened to many many Severin broadcasts over the years, I must admit that there was rarely a time when I did not feel as if I needed an immediate germ-killing shower immediately thereafter.

As mentioned in last Saturday’s post, this was certainly not the first time that Severin has “crossed the line” on air. He was suspended for a month by the same station in 2009 after having referred to Mexicans as “primitives” and “leading exporters of VD and swine flu”. He also has a history of blatantly lying in an attempt to bolster his own credentials. For example, he lied about having received a master’s degree from Boston University and also about receiving a Pulitzer Prize. For a more in depth look at how Severin also lies about his lying, please read this wonderful column by The Boston Globe‘s Scot Lehigh here.

This description of his possibly illegal sexual indiscretions however, was the final straw for his employer. Jay Severin was fired today. His station’s owner released this statement:

“Greater Media today ended its relationship with Jay Severin. Our company has always encouraged a free and open dialogue on a variety of issues and topics, and we will continue to be guided by that principle. But we also demand that our on-air talent maintain an appropriate level of civility, and adhere to a standard that respects our listeners and the public at large.”

Jay Severin’s firing is not the only good news for progressives however. it was also announced today that Glenn Beck is losing his television show on Fox News. That however, is a story for a later posting. Until then let’s just bask in the warm cuddly feelings caused by the termination of these two misinforming miscreants.

Don’t forget to check out my WRKO Radio blog at www.wrko.com/blog/kevin also, too!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

That’s Amore song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=69O4PXzAQ5Y

YOU’RE SO BORING (THE ODE TO RADIO’S JAY SEVERIN)

(sung to the Dean Martin song “That’s Amoré”)

In Old Beantown on the air-waves
When ratings fall here’s what they say

When the shit hits the fan and they give you the can
You’re so boring
When you become racist and then cease to exist
You’re so boring
Phones don’t ring ding-a-ling-a-ling, ding-a-ling-a-ling
And you’re no happy fella
Listeners cheer have another beer, have another beer
Like a gay acappella

When you are such a fool that your words incite drool
That’s abhorring
When the “Best and the Brightest” are the dumb and the whitest
You’re alone
When you’re name’s Severino but you drop the letter “O”
That’s deceiving
Scuzza me, but you see, you’ve no masters degree
That’s abhorring

(When the shit hits the fan and they give you the can
That’s abhorring) That’s abhorring
(When you become racist and then cease to exist
That’s abhorring) That’s abhorring
(Phones don’t ring ding-a-ling-a-ling, ding-a-ling-a-ling
And you’re no happy fella) Happy fel Happy fella
(Listeners cheer have another beer, have another beer
Like a gay acappella) Sorry fella

When your mouth’s spouting lies of a Pulitzer Prize
That’s abhorring (That’s abhorring)
When you no longer play on W-K-K-K
That’s real love
When you’re talking the talk but have nowhere to walk
Cuz you’re boring
Scuzza me, racist pig, but we hardly knew ye
You’re so boring, (So boring)
You’re so boring

Boston Shock-Jock Jay Severin May Have Finally “Screwed” Himself Out Of A Job

Would you have sex with this man?

Tick, tick, tick… (waiting for the bomb to explode), or thud… (waiting for the other shoe to drop). The anticipation is overwhelming. Will Boston radio’s most racist, hate infused, name changing (his birth name is James Severino), pedigree embellishing (he falsely boasted on air to taking a master’s degree at Boston University and to having been awarded a Pulitzer prize), and obnoxious shock jock finally be fired by his employer station?

Jay Severin is a reich-wing conservative talk show host who’s program airs on a Boston, MA radio station, known to us progressives as WKKK. Severin’s show however, was indefinitely suspended by the station on March 30th as the result of the overwhelmingly negative response to his recent misogynistic on-air rantings about workplace sexual harassment. This was certainly not the first time that Severin has “crossed the line” on air. He was suspended for a month by the same station in 2009 after having referred to Mexicans as “primitives” and “leading exporters of VD and swine flu”.  When coupled however,  with his recent decline in ratings from 3rd place to 16th place in the coveted age 25 to 54 age bracket, this suspension may have sounded the death knell for his show.

Severin’s most recent suspension came about while he was defending American Apparel executive Dov Charney, who is being sued by many of his former female employees for sexual harassment. First, he referred to the female plaintiffs as “whores” and “liars”. Severin then went on to boast about his personal sexual conquests in the workplace. He said that when he owned his own company, he hired “mostly attractive young women” and had sex with nearly all of them. He went on to say, “I slept with virtually every young college girl I hired to be an intern or an employee for my firm. All I was, was a young man who was the boss and I did it because I could.”

All New England progressives within earshot of Jay Severin are hoping that this latest transgression will end his career on Boston radio.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Nowhere Man song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AvLj72apGLI

RADIO MAN

(sung to the The Beatles song “Nowhere Man”)

Jay’s a real radio man
Member of the Ku Klux Klan
Preaching to his nowhere fans
For nobody

Has a sexist point of view
Changed his name to Severin too
Hasn’t got a friggin’ clue, does he?

Radio man please listen
We laugh so hard we’re pissin’
Radio man, open your mouth and get canned

(nooner break)

He’s blind like the G.O.P.
Just sees what a racist sees
Radio man you can’t see me at all?

Radio man we’re sorry
We don’t buy your story
We can’t wait till somebody else
Relieves your command

Has a sexist point of view
Changed his name to Severin too
Hasn’t got a friggin’ clue, does he?

Radio man just face it
You’ve little time, don’t waste it
Radio man, we cannot wait till you’re banned

Jay’s a real radio man
Member of the Ku Klux Klan
Preaching to his nowhere fans
For nobody
Preaching to his nowhere fans
For nobody
Preaching to his nowhere fans
For nobody

Low-Life Limbaugh Mocks Japanese Quake Victims

If there is any substance to the Buddhist theory of karma (i.e. a person’s words and actions will affect his future fate), then right-wing radio blowhard Rush Limbaugh has a lot to worry about. A few days ago ABC News aired a segment featuring Diane Sawyer in which Ms. Sawyer commented that despite the fact they were reduced to living in a refugee camp as the result of last week’s devastating earthquake and tsunami, the Japanese continued to recycle their trash. Limbaugh then mocked the Japanese people and environmentalists for their actions.

Limbaugh of course,  is not a very well educated man. He flunked out of Southeast Missouri State University after only two semesters and one summer session. To date, he has no college degree. As evidence of his lack of commitment and self control, he has also been married four times and is an admitted drug addict.

Limbaugh is also a blatant racist. He resigned under pressure in 2003 after only a very brief stint co-hosting ESPN‘s “Sunday NFL Countdown” after he claimed that quarterback Donovan McNabb was overrated because the media wanted to see a black quarterback succeed. (BTW, McNabb is still playing professional football). Later, he talked about football once again when he said, “Look, let me put it to you this way: the NFL all too often looks like a game between the Bloods and the Crips without any weapons”. Limbaugh also once referred to New York Yankees owner George Steinbrenner as a “cracker who made African-Americans millionaires”.  Remember when he said, “The NAACP should have riot rehearsal. They should get a liquor store and practice robberies”? How about when he told an African American female caller to his show to, “Take that bone out of your nose and call me back”? The examples of Limbaugh’s racism go on and on but we will leave the rest of his past offenses for another time.

For now, let’s concentrate on Limbaugh’s latest atrocity; mocking the Japanese quake victims. The situation occurred when a person called into Limbaugh’s radio show and asked,

“I need some of your wisdom. I’m confused. At the top of the first hour, you played a clip. Diane Sawyer, I believe, about the recycling that is still going on in Japan. If these are the people that invented the Prius, have mastered public transportation, recycling, why did mother earth, Gaia if you will, hit them with this disaster.”

Limbaugh responded,
“Did I really hear this? Did I really hear — Diane Sawyer is in a refugee camp in Japan. My god, she sounds like she saw her husband for the first time in six months there. Oh, it’s recycling, look, organized for — these people are in the midst of earthquake devastation and the credit they’re getting is for recycling and our caller Chris with a great question. The Japanese have done so much to save the planet. He’s right. They’ve given us the Prius. Even now, refugees are still recycling their garbage, and yet Gaia levels them [laughs], just wipes them out. Wipes out their nuclear plants, all kinds of radiation. What kind of payback is this? That is an excellent question. They invented the Prius. In fact, where Gaia blew up is right where they make all these electric cars. That’s where the tsunami hit. All those brand new electric cars sitting there on the lot. I like the way this guy was thinking. It’s like — it’s like Gaia hit the Prius in [inaudible]. It’s like they were in the cross-hairs, if we can use that word, it does. What is Gaia trying to tell us here? What is the mother of environmentalism trying to say with this hit? Great observation out there, Chris”
How’s that for an example of inhumane insensitivity? Rather than commend the distraught victims of this horrible tragedy for their steadfast commitment to preserving the environment despite their predicament, Limbaugh chose to kick them while they are down by implying that mother earth punished the Japanese people for earth-saving measures. If there is such a thing as karma, Rush Limbaugh best keep looking over his shoulder.
By the way, will Limbaugh ever keep his promise to move to Costa  Rica? It has now been more than a year a since he promised to move there if ObamaCare was passed into law. Apparently that was just another Limbaugh lie.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the song and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Mockingbird song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EeOqD3uMIRs&feature=related

TALKING TURD

(sung to the Carly Simon/James Taylor song “Mockingbird”)

Talk (yeah) ing (yeah) turd (yeah)
Yeah (yeah)
Talking Turd

Now, everybody sure has heard
Rush Limbaugh the big fat talking turd
That loudmouth talking turd is king
Of all those racists in the right-wing
But those in the right-wing front line
Are busy planning for their next hate crime
And that’s why I keep on tellin’ everybody
Say yeah, yeah whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, oh

Hear me now and understand
Rush lives only to hate and malign
And if ratings decline someday
Limbaugh will spread hate in another way
And if that other way makes dough
He’ll ride with the tide and go with the flow
And that’s why I keep on shoutin’ in your ear
Say yeah, yeah whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, oh

(Oxy Contin Break)

Now, everyone should doubt his word
Rush Limbaugh is just a talking turd
And when that talking turd does sing
We can tell he’s just a ding-a-ling
And when that ding-a-ling just whines
Yes, Republicans will still think he shines
And there’s a reason why I keep on tellin’ everybody
Say yeah, yeah no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no

Listen now and understand
Rush Limbaugh surely has lost his mind
And though he drugged his mind away
The right-wing nuts still listen everyday
Like Sarah Palin and that Plumber, Joe
He’s a dead fish that just “goes with the flow”
And that’s the reason why he keeps on spreadin’ all that fear
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, now, now, baby

Serial Philanderer Newt Gingrich Defends Philandering

Disgraced former Republican House Speaker Newt Gingrich was interviewed on air by Boston radio host Howie Carr of WRKO AM on Monday. During the interview Gingrich was asked how his marital infidelity might affect a potential bid for the White House. His response?

“I expect my opponents to go back 15, 20, 25 years and try to render an alternate judgment I understand that’s what they’ll do. I’m not blaming my life on anyone, and I’m not offering excuses. I’ve made no bones about the fact there were times I did the wrong thing, and I’ve made no bones about the fact that I’ve asked for forgiveness. I think most Americans are fair, and I think most Americans will look at the totality of my life.”

Gingrich, of course, is a serial philanderer. He has been married three times so far. In 1962, he married Jackie Battley, his former high school geometry teacher. In the spring of 1980, Gingrich left Battley after having an affair with Marianne Ginther. According to Battley, Gingrich visited her while she was in the hospital recovering from cancer surgery to discuss divorce. Six months after the divorce was final, Gingrich wed Marianne Ginther in 1981. In the mid-1990s, Gingrich began an affair with House of Representatives staffer Callista Bisek, who is 23 years his junior. They continued their affair during the Clinton/Lewinsky scandal, when Gingrich was a leader of the Republican investigation of President Clinton for perjury in connection with his alleged affairs with Paula Jones and Monica Lewinsky. In 2000, Gingrich married Bisek shortly after his divorce from second wife Ginther. He and Callista currently live in McLean, Virginia.

Lynnrockets believes that Newt Gingrich is in for some serious John Edwards treatment should he decide to run for President. He deserves it too!

Please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

The Grinch That Stole Christmas song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nzXKWKaxt3c

YOU’RE A HAS-BEEN, NEWT GINGRICH

(sung to the Dr. Seuss song “The Grinch That Stole Christmas”)

You’re a has-been, Newt Gingrich
You’re lacking in appeal
Your were ousted as The Speaker
No one wants to hear you squeal
Newt Gingrich

You’re a unicycle
Without even one wheel

You’ve had three wives, Newt Gingrich
A mistress in the hole
Philandering’s your day job
You’re a slimy ugly troll
Newt Gingich

These woman that like you, must
Be on work-release or parole

You’re a vile one, Newt Gingrich
Your words reek with rancid bile
Your criticizing ol’ Bill Clinton
As you’re cheating all the while
Newt Gingrich

There couldn’t be a bigger hypocrite
Within a Midwest country mile

You’re a foul one, Newt Gingrich
Your first divorce smelled of skunk
Your wife, Jackie fighting cancer
You told her she was junk
Newt Gingrich

The nicest words to describe you,
Are, as follows, and I quote, Pink. Wank, Punk

You’re a coward, Newt Gingrich
Avoided your army spot
Deferment-seeking chicken-hawk
That likes to talk real tough
Newt Gingrich

Your soul is an appalling dump heap overflowing
With the most disgraceful assortment of Republican
Sound-bytes imaginable,
Mangled up in tangled up knots

You’re the racist, Newt Gingrich
It’s not Judge Sotomayor
You play the race card as a white guy
That’s so laughable I’m sure
Newt Gingrich

You’re a stinking pile of vomit
Sitting in the sun
With feces on top

Limbaugh Adds To The Atrocious Attacks Against Michelle Obama

The radical right-wing pundits must be at a total loss when it comes to things to be outraged about lately. How else to explain their recent rash of ridiculous rants against First Lady Michelle Obama’s initiative to reduce childhood obesity?

Like many First Ladies before her, Michelle Obama has seized her bully pulpit to help advance a worthy cause. Here are a few examples:

Ellen Wilson: Improving urban housing for blacks and immigrants
Lady Bird Johnson: Re-foresting
Rosalynn Carter: Addressing mental health issues
Nancy Reagan: “Just Say No” campaign against drug abuse
Laura Bush: Encouraging childhood reading

All of those initiatives were worthy of praise and welcomed by the public. Why then have radical right-wing pundits chosen to vilify Michelle Obama’s attempts to reduce childhood obesity which has been scientifically proven to increase adult sickness and disease and consequently pressure the already overburdened health-care system? The answer is simple. She is Michelle Obama, the wife of President Barack Obama. You see, the GOP, the Tea Party and right-wing pundits have a policy of opposing anything and everything proposed by the Obama administration regardless of merit.

Think about that for a moment. In 2009 they criticized Obama for failing to aggressively deal with the Somalian pirates that attacked an American vessel and kidnapped the ship’s captain. The conservatives claimed that Obama was weak on defense. Yet when Obama’s forces killed the pirates and rescued the captain, the right-wing claimed that Obama used excessive force against youthful perpetrators. Teapublicans railed against the 2009 stimulus package which provided billions of dollars to states that were suffering during the worst economic downturn since the great depression. Despite their opposition however, they gladly took credit for the pork that they brought back to their districts when those stimulus funds were delivered. Remember all those Republican governors, representatives and senators posing with those poster-sized checks which bore the ink-mark of the federal government. How about during the health care reform debate when Teapublicans and pundits feigned outrage at (fictitious) cuts to the Medicare program? Have you seen their recent budget proposals which call for massive cuts to both the Medicare and Social Security programs? The tactics of the right are the definition of “hypocrisy”.

Now Michelle Obama is their target. First, it was Sarah Palin that attacked her childhood nutrition initiative. On one episode of her unsuccessful reality television show, Palin was feeding “S’Mores” to her children while camping. The former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska then quipped, “This is in honor of Michelle Obama, who said the other day we should not have dessert.” Nevermind the fact that Obama has never said that children should not have dessert. In fact, at that time Ms. Obama had simply suggested that schools serve healthier lunches to our children. Someone should ask Palin whether she would rather have her children’s schools serve sugar and fat-laden lunches or something more healthy. On second thought, that issue is moot in that Palin’s children seldom attend school.

Next, it was moonbat-crazy Rep. Michele Bachmann (Teapublican-MN) who criticized Ms. Obama. The potential (but doomed) presidential candidate appeared with radical right-wing radio host Laura Ingraham last week and feigned shock that the First Lady would once again advocate on behalf of healthy children. Ms. Obama had just advocated in favor of breast-feeding as a method to reduce childhood obesity. In fact, the IRS even agreed that the cost of nursing supplies that aide in the practice would be tax-deductible. Ms. Obama explained, “We also want to focus on the important touch points in a child’s life. And what we’re learning now is that early intervention is key. Breastfeeding. Kids who are breastfed longer have a lower tendency to be obese.” Her spokeswoman Kristina Schake added, “Breastfeeding is a very personal choice for every woman. We are trying to make it easier for those who choose to do it.”

Sounds reasonable doesn’t it? Ms. Obama would like to encourage mothers to breastfeed their children so that they can potentially cut into the child obesity epidemic and the children can then live healthier adult lives. Furthermore, she would like to make it easier (i.e. less costly) for mothers to continue the practice by means of providing tax relief equal to the cost of the required supplies. A win-win. Healthier children and tax relief! Sounds like a plan right out of the tax-cutting, family-values Tea Party handbook.

Despite the merit of this worthy initiative, Bachmann was horrified. In her typical over-the-top and nonsensical language, Bachmann said that the Obama breastfeeding initiative amounts to a “new definition [of] the nanny state.” She told Ingraham,

“This is very consistent with where the hard left is coming from. For them, government is the answer to every problem. I’ve given birth to five babies and I breast fed every single one of these babies.To think that government has to go out and buy my breast pump for my babies? You wanna talk about the nanny state, I think you just got a new definition.”

There is no question that Michele Bachmann is a crazy person that is not to be taken seriously. But wait, Sarah Palin then took the opportunity to board Bachmann’s crazy-train to koo-koo town. While complaining about inflation, she said: “No wonder Michelle Obama is telling everybody you better breast feed your babies. I’m looking and say, ‘Yeah, you better because the price of milk is so high right now’.”

Now batting, Rush Limbaugh. CNN reports, “Michelle Obama is taking heat from talk-radio host Rush Limbaugh after a report in the Vail Daily that she consumed a not-so-healthy-meal of ribs for dinner while on a recent visit to the Colorado resort, the latest example of conservative angst directed at the first lady’s healthy-eating initiative.”

“The problem is, and dare I say this, it doesn’t look like Michelle Obama follows her own nutritionary, dietary advice,” Limbaugh said Monday on his radio program. “And then we hear that she’s out eating ribs at 1,500 calories a serving with 141 grams of fat per serving. She is a hypocrite. Leaders are supposed to be leaders. If we are supposed to go out and eat nothing, if we are supposed to eat roots, berries, and tree bark, show us how.”

The Vail Daily reported Sunday Mrs. Obama dined at the restaurant Kelly Liken in Vail Village, ordering “a pickled pumpkin salad with arugula and a braised ancho-chile short rib with hominy wild mushrooms and sautéed kale.” The first family, minus the president, went to Colorado for a long weekend of skiing.

Once again, these critics fail to mention that Ms. Obama has always said that unhealthy foods are acceptable in moderation. Indeed, at the President’s recent Super-Bowl party, they served bratwurst, kielbasa, cheeseburgers, deep-dish pizza and Buffalo wings with sides of German potato salad, twice-baked potatoes and assorted chips and dips. If they had served “roots, berries, and tree bark”, the radical-right would have complained that the First Family were elitists. There is simply no winning with these morons.

By the way, speaking of hypocrites, wasn’t it Rush Limbaugh that once said this about drug abusers: “These tough sentencing laws were instituted for a reason. The American people, including liberals, demanded them. Don’t you remember the crack cocaine epidemic? Crack babies and out-of-control murder rates? Liberal judges giving the bad guys slaps on the wrist? Finally we got tough, and the crime rate has been falling ever since, so what’s wrong?”

Do you really want to know “what’s wrong” Rush? Well first of all, where was Limbaugh’s voluntary submission to a tough jail sentence when it was revealed that he was an abuser of illegal drugs? Now that is hypocrisy!

What do you say we have another little song parody about Rush Limbaugh’s self-confessed drug addiction? Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.

White Rabbit song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3oRKvpZ7PjE&feature=related

GO ASK LIMBAUGH

(sung to the Jefferson Airplane song “White Rabbit”)

One pill makes Rush larger
But no pill makes him small
And the ones that Glenn Beck gives him
Make Rush whimper and then bawl
Go ask Limbaugh
He’s right down the hall

Rush has an addictive habit
And it’s gonna cause his fall
Like a bazooka toting ratings killer
His pills are his last call
Call Limbaugh
As he hits the wall

When Rush starts to get bored
He takes vicodin with some blow
And then he’s off to his dressing room
To prepare for his next show
Go get Limbaugh
A cup of Joe

When logic and proportion
Have escaped from his head
And this “White” Knight is talking backwards
Confusing Blue states with the Red
Remember when Rush takes his meds,
He’s brain dead
He’s brain dead

Sunday Mid-Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 67

Just a few newsworthy events (and comments thereon) that have been making their way through the political universe this past week. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful day!

BREAKING NEWS: The family of Christina Taylor Green, the nine-year-old girl killed when a gunman opened fire on Rep. Gabrielle Giffords at a “Congress on Your Corner” event, has donated some of her organs, and they are already saving another child’s life. Some of her organs were transplanted to a little girl from Boston.

THIS JUST IN: Speaking of transplants, it has been reported that former Vice President and Torturer in Chief, Dick Cheney may require a heart transplant. Is anyone else out there surprised to learn that he had one in the first place?

BREAKING NEWS:  Joe Lieberman, the sometimes Democrat, sometimes Republican Senator from Connecticut has announced that he will retire at the end of his term. At least this way his dismissal from the Senate will be on his own terms and not those of the Connecticut voters. Hey Joe, don’t let the door hit you in one of your two faces on the way out!

THIS JUST IN: North Dakota’s Blue-Dog Democratic Senator Kent Conrad has also announced that he will not seek re-election. Conrad was one of the Democrats who helped sink the public option during the health care reform debates. Hey Kent, please take note of what we had to say to fellow traitor Joe Lieberman just above!

BREAKING NEWS: Speaking of health care reform, the state of Vermont may be moving towards a single payer system. The Bennington Banner reports that Vermont’s congressional delegation joined Governor Peter Shumlin Tuesday to announce legislation that would allow states to seek federal health care waivers in 2014, and the flexibility to craft their own state-level health care plans. Landmark health care reform legislation signed into law last year by President Barack Obama provides states the option of seeking a federal waiver to opt out of some requirements of the bill as long as certain standards are maintained. That provision was sought by U.S. Sen. Bernie Sanders, a Vermont independent. Shumlin, a Democrat sworn in to office earlier this month, promised during the campaign that he would seek a single-payer health care system for the state. Let’s hear it for the progressive state of Vermont!

THIS JUST IN: The polar opposite of Vermont of course, is the backward state of Alabama. Speaking on Martin Luther King Jr. Day in the very church where Dr. King once pastored, new Alabama Governor Robert Bentley gave a speech in which he said that those who have not accepted Jesus Christ as their savior are not his “brothers.” How is that for an all inclusive Republican umbrella?

BREAKING NEWS: The Reagan boys may be bickering as to whether or not their father, Ronald Reagan had lost his mind while in office, but former CBS reporter Leslie Stahl knows the truth. In the book she published in 2000, Reporting Live, Stahl recounts a disturbing encounter she had with Reagan in the summer of 1986. Stahl was finishing up a stint as CBS News’ White House correspondent, and she was awarded the customary farewell audience with the president. She wrote,

“…Reagan didn’t seem to know who I was. He gave me a distant look with those milky eyes and shook my hand weakly. Oh, my, he’s gonzo, I thought. I have to go out on the lawn tonight and tell my countrymen that the president of the United States is a doddering space cadet. My heart began to hammer with the import…I was aware of the delicacy with which I would have to write my script. But I was quite sure of my diagnosis.”

THIS JUST IN: We are happy to report that both Glenn Beck and Sean Hannity had their nationally syndicated radio shows dropped from WPHT in Philadelphia, which is the second radio station to drop both of the conservative commentators. A few weeks ago Beck was dropped from station WOR in New York, and Hannity was dropped from KSL Radio in Utah. Speculation is that poor ratings and an industry-wide advertiser desire to distance itself from the rhetoric spouted by hate radio may have been the catalyst for the cancellations.

BREAKING NEWS: The most recent Washington Post/ABC poll reveals that 52% of Americans now hold unfavorable views of the Tea Party which is a new high. Only 35% like the Tea Baggers which is the same percentage that hold favorable views of Saudi Arabia. Shockingly, more Americans favor Russia (47%) and socialism (36%) over the Tea Party.

THIS JUST IN: Lynnrockets is by no means a fan of Howard Stern, but he uttered one of the more memorable lines about Sarah Palin this week. No, we are not referring to his expletive-laced diatribe against the Queen of Quit. We liked this one simple sentence: “This woman is a vomit.” Short and to the point.

GO PACKERS!!!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody which features the whole bunch of conservatives.

California Dreamin’ song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2xN9r0bWe78

CONSERVATIVE DREAMIN’

(sung to the Mamas & The Papas song “California Dreamin’”)

All their shirts are brown
(All their shirts are brown)
And their hair is grey
(And their hair is grey)
Listen to them talk
(Listen to them talk)
As they loudly pray
(As they loudly pray)
Scandal is their norm
(Scandal is their norm)
They have one every day
(They have one every day)
Conservative dreamin’
(Conservative dreamin’)
And politics of hate

Members of John Birch
Some won’t admit they’re gay
But when they get down on their knees
(Get down on their knees)
That’s when they like to play
(When they like to play)
These slimy creatures should be told
(Creatures should be told)
Membership’s gone away
(Members gone away)
Conservative dreamin’
(Conservative dreamin’)
Has led them all astray

(musical interlude)

Glenn Beck is a clown
(Glenn Beck is a clown)
What does Limbaugh weigh?
(What does Limbaugh weigh?)
Palin cannot talk
(Palin cannot talk)
She’s no Tina Fey
(She’s no Tina Fey)
Somebody should tell her
(Somebody should tell her)
To just go away
(To just go away)
Conservative dreamin’
(Conservative dreamin’)
Has become so cliché
(Conservative dreamin’)
Has lost all its cache´
(Conservative dreamin’)
Drives voters all away

Is Fox News And Tea Party Hatred to Blame For This Atrocity?

This is truly breaking (heart-breaking) news. CNN has just reported that at least 12 people were shot at a Tucson, Arizona grocery store on Saturday, and Democratic U.S. Rep. Gabrielle Giffords was among them. The network reports that, “Giffords, 40, was holding a constituent meeting at the grocery store when the shooting occurred, according to a schedule posted on her website.” The Tuscon Citizen newspaper reports that Giffords was shot in the head.

Giffords won her third term in a closely contested race against a Tea Party-sponsored candidate and was one of three Democratic legislators who reported vandalism at their offices following the March vote on health care reform.

It is obviously too early to place blame for this atrocity until we learn more about the assailant. Nevertheless, if it is determined that the shooter targeted the Democratic Representative for political reasons,  Fox News hosts such as Sarah Palin and Glenn Beck may be morally culpable for fostering an atmosphere encouraging revolution-like actions against the Democratic Party controlled government. Is it any wonder that at some point violence might be triggered by Palin’s inappropriate rhetoric such as “Don’t Retreat. Reload”, or her infamous website ad which targeted certain Democrats (including Giffords) for electoral defeat by means of placing gun-sight symbols over their judicial districts on a U.S. map? Has Glenn Beck’s near constant comparison of the Obama administration to communists, socialists or even Hitler fostered an atmosphere of sober and reasoned political discourse? Of course not. These far-right conservative radicals have stopped just short of actually calling for violence against government officials. On a daily basis they remind the easily influenced Tea Party members of the glory of our nation’s armed revolution. Indeed, during the most recent election cycle Tea Party candidate Sharron Angle went so far as to say that the public should bring down an out-of-control Congress with “Second Amendment remedies.”

The far-right media and politicians refused to castigate those people that attended Tea Party rallies armed with guns. They turned the truth upside down when they defended the Tea Partier that assaulted and stepped on the head of a defenseless woman at a Rand Paul event. Every time some far-right conservative takes their bait and like a hungry dog devouring raw meat, starts talking about “taking back the government” and stocking up on guns and ammunition, the likes of Beck, Palin, Limbaugh, Malkin, Coulter and Hannity defend these crackpots by claiming that they are simply expressing their frustration. Their thinly veiled encouragement of violence either threatened or actual is despicable.

I hope from the bottom of my heart that today’s shooting was the work of a person with a severe mental disability who picked a random target and not a person motivated by what seems to be an ever-increasing level of political hatred. The mentally disabled person works alone while the politically motivated person is likely only one of many that may resort to lethal violence. It is time for the hate-spreading far-right media and politicians to realize this and tone down their rhetoric and tacit encouragement of violence.

No song parody today. I see no humor in this tragic event. My prayers are with Ms. Giffords and the other innocent shooting victims.

Rush “To Judgment” Limbaugh Gets Tripped-Up By Caller

This is an excellent article from Examiner.com which illustrates how out of touch the racist, uneducated, drug-addicted Rush Limbaugh is.

On his radio show today Rush Limbaugh told one of his unemployed listeners why his jobless benefits are destroying the economy.  In the audio segment on the left, Limbaugh takes a call from “Jerome.”  Jerome states that he actually agrees with much of Limbaugh’s words, but that he has grown more sympathetic about the need for government assistance since becoming unemployed.  Even in the face of Jerome’s personal testimony, Limbaugh stands by his assertion that jobless benefits should not be extended.  Limbaugh argues that the jobless benefits actually retard economic growth and hurt people like Jerome by making them dependent.

The discussion between Jerome and Limbaugh represent a microcosm of the larger debate surrounding jobless benefits.  Conservatives like Limbaugh argue that jobless benefits keep people from actively pursuing a job.  Limbaugh also tries to say that businesses are taxed more because of an extension of jobless benefits, but any extension does not add any extra unemployment tax beyond that which would exist without an extension.  Jerome, even though he is Limbaugh fan, makes the liberal argument that jobs simply do not exist for people like him to find a job.  Labor Department studies seem to support Jerome’s argument as there are currently only one job for every five unemployed Americans.  Liberals also argue that jobless benefits do create jobs by creating demand in the free market.  People who receive jobless benefits generally spend the money, as opposed to the rich who often save money they may receive in the form of tax cuts.

What separates this interview from all the other jobless benefits debates is the personal nature of Jerome’s appeal.  Even assuming Limbaugh is right about the economic effects of jobless benefits, the millions of unemployed people, like Jerome, would have to wait years for the free market to help them.  Without jobless benefits, Jerome is left without any way to provide for the basic necessities of food and shelter while the free market slowly works to create a job for him.  Limbaugh’s argument may make logical sense to the Adam Smith philosophers of the world, but it ultimately falls on deaf ears to people like Jerome who are more concerned with the practicality of eating and staying warm at night.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s Holiday Season song parody which was requested by a loyal Rocketeer.

Hark The Herald Angels Sing song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wbdvo019mgM

HARK, THE DITTO-HEADS DO SING

(sung to the Amy Grant version of “Hark The Herald Angels Sing”)

Hark, the ditto-heads do sing
“Glory to Limbaugh our King!”
On the left he is reviled
Cuz he behaves like a child
On those islands where he flies
With Viagra he does rise
His tired old act is just a game
Intended to bring him fame
Hark, the ditto-heads do sing
“Glory to Limbaugh our King!”

When Rush speaks he only lies
Unlike Beck he does not cry
Rush has an expansive girth
He is shaped like planet earth
Former wives have numbered three
He prefers his Oxy-C
Right-wing drivel he does sell
From his brainless empty shell
Hark, the ditto-heads do sing
“Glory to Limbaugh our King!”

(musical interlude)

He calls his show the E.I.B.
It’s all about me, me, me
Of his fame, he often sings
While taking credit for all things
Yet, by most he is ignored
Like a little mouse that roared
With nothing beneath his dome
He emits a rabid foam
Hark, the ditto-heads do sing
“Glory to Limbaugh our King!”

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