Monthly Archives: November 2010
Sarah Palin Could Learn A Lesson From Paul Bunyan
Sarah Palin’s most recent spoken blunder may have simply been a slip of the tongue. When she said on Glenn Beck‘s radio show last Wednesday that “We gotta stand with our North Korean allies”, it quite possibly could have been a mere understandable gaffe. Then again, there is the pretty good chance that she simply did not know which Korea is our ally. After all, as John McCain’s staff members informed us last year, Sarah Palin thought that Africa was a country and not a continent. You may also recall that the ex-quitting former half-term Governor of Alaska mistakenly thought that Kodiak was the largest island in the United States and mistakenly thought that “Mama Grizzly” endorsee John “Lasers In The Sky” Raese was running for a Pennsylvania U.S. Senate seat. The list of Sarah Palin’s examples of geographic ignorance of course, goes on and on.
Palin’s knowledge of politics and law is also often called into question. No matter how many times she attempts to comment upon the right to freedom of speech, she gets it completely wrong. She simply does not understand that the Constitution only protects a person’s right to free speech from being infringed upon by the government and not from private entities such as employers. Hence, her defense of such persons such as Carrie Prejean, Laura Schlessinger and herself on those grounds is entirely misplaced. Palin has made another one of these blunders in her new book “America By Heart”. ABC‘s John Berman reports of an historical error with regard to Palin’s BFF’s, the “Founding Fathers”. Berman reveals,
On page 189 of “America by Heart,” Palin is in the midst of a lengthy and thoughtful discussion about the role of religion in America, and American history. Among other things, she spends time praising Mitt Romney for his speeches on this subject. But on page 189, she is writing about the opinions of Founding Father John Adams, including his famous quotation, “we have no government armed with power capable of contending with human passions unbridled by morality and religion.” Her mistake is not in her analysis of the importance of faith to John Adams. No, her error came in claiming that he had been a “leading participant at the Constitutional Convention.”
You see, John Adams did not take part in the Constitutional Convention. He was Ambassador to Great Britain at the time. Consequently, despite what Palin wrote, John Adams was in fact, not a “leading participant at the Constitutional Convention”. Sarah Palin however, as we all know by now, never lets the facts get in the way of her fairy tales.
Another example of Sarah Palin’s ignorance was demonstrated by her most recent Twitter tweet. In response to this week’s Wikileaks release of classified information, Palin tweeted,
“Inexplicable: I recently won in court to stop my book ‘America by Heart’ from being leaked, but US Govt can’t stop Wikileaks’ treasonous act?”
Let’s get this straight. Wikileaks is a Swedish website which is owned and operated by an Australian national. Inasmuch as treason is defined as “the offense of attempting by overt acts to overthrow the government of the state to which the offender owes allegiance“, it seems obvious that Australian Julien Assange could not be charged with such by the United States of America. But really, could we honestly expect Sarah Palin to demonstrate any kind of knowledge of the law?
Stanley Crouch of the New York Daily News made a great observation in Monday’s edition. He suggested that Sarah Palin should be subjected to the mythical Paul Bunyan treatment. According to Crouch and folklore, Paul Bunyan “lived somewhere as a logger in the cold north. When his fellow loggers spewed one curse word after another during winter, the dirty words would freeze in the air and fall to the ground. Bunyan went around and collected them. They were deposited in separate barrels with the names of the men who had done all of the cursing. When spring came around, Bunyan gave each of the men his barrel and they had to sit there as the ice melted and the shouts of every unmentionable word burst back into the air. That cured the loggers.”
Crouch suggests that “Sarah Palin is a political version of those loggers. She would certainly go deaf if every one of her purported facts were frozen, then melted back into life precisely when she was least prepared to explain the machine-gunning series of tall tales as they exploded into the air again in an intentional act of retribution.” If only fantasy could become reality.
For those of you that are interested, Sarah Palin’s money-grubbing nine-day, 16-city book signing tour is underway. She was grifting in Houston, Texas and Metairie, Louisiana yesterday and will be in Baton Rouge, Louisiana and Little Rock, Arkansas today. Today’s song parody is inspired by by her current gravy-train.
SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT
Lynnrockets needs your help. Boston’s largest talk radio station (WRKO AM) has chosen Lynnrockets as a finalist in its “Next Great Political Blogger Contest”. Yours truly has been selected by the station’s staff (from over 200 entries) to be one of 10 finalists for a position with the station as a “liberal” blogger. There will be two winners (a “liberal” and a “conservative”) chosen by means of internet votes received. This is our chance to get even with the Palinbots for what they did for Bristol Palin on “Dancing With The Stars”. Like Bristol, I lack talent but with all of you voting for me, I may be able to pull-off an upset win. I offer my eternal gratitude if you loyal Rocketeers will visit the WRKO website (Here) and vote for wait…wait…here comes the spoiler…”Kevin McCarthy”. Looks like I’ve now been officially outed. Please vote early and often as the contest ends on Saturday, December 11th at 11:59pm EST. I would truly appreciate your help and if you really want to be of assistance, please encourage your family and friends to vote also, too!
Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.
TURN THE PAGE
(sung to the Bob Seger song “Turn The Page”)
On a long and lonesome highway
East of Wasilla
Do we even need to mention
Palin travels with her throng
She’s a winkin’ blinkin’ woman
Who dresses like a sidewalk whore
The big country she is wandering
On book-tour number two
Sarah’s signing books for hours
And she’s counting all her loot
Still, her poll numbers are slidin’
And there’s not much she can do
Hey, Palin’s sham
On the road again
Book tour scam
All of it staged
Takin’ dough
Near and far again
There she goes
Turn the page
Sarah slithers in a Border’s Books
And she mounts her throne
Her supporters in a long queue
They’re donating all they own
They consider it loyalty dues
Tribute their queen is owed
Most times when you hear her talk
You can’t understand
All those nonsense clichés
Formed in Palin-Land
For those blatant gaffes and blunders
She earns one-hundred grand
Palin’s sham
On the road again
Book tour scam
All of it staged
Takin’ dough
Near and far again
There she goes
Turn the page
Palin loves the spotlight
Maybe more than Tina Fey
Despite all of her energy
Her fame will fade away
She will become a nobody
Just a slice of yesterday
Sarah’s selfish scheming
And the hate-speak that she spreads
Along with all of those blatant liars,
Fox News talking heads
The Tea Party’s new Penthouse Pet
Sounds like “Uncle Jed”
Ah, Palin’s sham
On the road again
Book tour scam
All of it staged
Takin’ dough
Near and far again
There she goes
Turn the page
Ya, Palin’s sham
On the road again
Book tour scam
All of it staged
Takin’ dough
Near and far again
There she goes
There she goes
Food Fight Breaks Out At Tea Party
Do any of you remember that hilarious scene from the brilliant film Monty Python’s Life of Brian wherein the members of “The Peoples Front of Judea” attempt to distinguish themselves from “The Judean Peoples Front” and “The Popular Front of Judea”? If not, please watch this clip before reading the rest of this post. While doing so, simply substitute “Obama” for the the “Romans” and any branch of the “Tea Party” for the various “Peoples Fronts”:
Hilarious, right? Sound familiar? Well the Tea Party movement of today is just as confused and belligerent as any group portrayed in that film. CNN reports that a faction of Tea-Baggers known as “Tea Party Nation” has sent a letter of complaint signed by approximately 150 other movement leaders to Republican legislators in response to another letter sent to the legislators by a Tea Party faction known as “GOProud”. “Tea Party Nation” is angered that “GOProud” sent its letter (signed by 17 other Tea Party activist leaders) to top Republican legislators which called for congressional Republicans to deal with fiscal issues right away rather than social issues.
The letter of complaint by “Tea Party Nation” states, “Last Monday, a small group of non-Tea Party, non-conservatives, released a letter, trying to claim leadership of the Tea Party Movement and purporting to tell you what the Tea Party movement wants.” The “Tea Party Nation” argues that “GOProud” is not now, nor has it ever been, a part of the Tea Party movement.
Immediately after “Tea Party Nation” sent its letter of complaint, “GOProud” responded by saying,
“A letter signed mostly by members of Tea Party groups rather than leaders of Tea Party groups seems like an awfully cheap way to try to make it look like you have a lot of signatories. I mean if we asked for anyone associated with the Tea Party movement to sign our letter we could have 5 times that in 24 hours.”
After witnessing this type of nonsensical infighting, does anybody out there still believe that the Tea-Baggers are a serious political movement bound by a common ideology and unity of interest? If so, would you please inform the “Tea Party Nation”, “GOProud”, “The Tea Party Express”, “The Tea Party Patriots” and the “Tea Party Caucus”? Because right now their actions are not helping their public perception. They look downright silly.
SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT
Lynnrockets needs your help. Boston’s largest talk radio station (WRKO AM) has chosen Lynnrockets as a finalist in its “Next Great Political Blogger Contest”. Yours truly has been selected by the station’s staff (from over 200 entries) to be one of 10 finalists for a position with the station as a “liberal” blogger. There will be two winners (a “liberal” and a “conservative”) chosen by means of internet votes received. This is our chance to get even with the Palinbots for what they did for Bristol Palin on “Dancing With The Stars”. Like Bristol, I lack talent but with all of you voting for me, I may be able to pull-off an upset win. I offer my eternal gratitude if you loyal Rocketeers will visit the WRKO website (Here) and vote for wait…wait…here comes the spoiler…”Kevin McCarthy”. Looks like I’ve now been officially outed. Please vote early and often as the contest ends on Saturday, December 11th at 11:59pm EST. I would truly appreciate your help and if you really want to be of assistance, please encourage your family and friends to vote also, too!
Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.
It’s My Party song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mIsnIt1p978
IT’S OUR TEA PARTY
(sung to the Lesley Gore song “It’s My Party”)
It’s our tea party, and we’ll cry if we want to
Lie if we want to, die if we want to
You would cry too if you were in our zoo
Nobody knows just what planet we’re from
We have all lost our minds
But we will follow the plan
And misspell all of our signs
It’s our tea party, and we’ll cry if we want to
Lie if we want to, die if we want to
You would cry too if you looked like we do
Playin’ the race card because we’re all white
Swastikas define our style
When Glenn Beck’s eyes get teary
That just makes all of us smile
It’s our tea party, and we’ll cry if we want to
Lie if we want to, die if we want to
You would cry too if you were in our zoo
(misspelled sign making break)
Our Sarah Palin behaves just like a whore
She’s a mean ding-a-ling
She tells us nothing but lies
We believe everything
It’s our tea party, and we’ll cry if we want to
Lie if we want to, die if we want to
You would cry too if you looked like we do
Oh, It’s our tea party, and we’ll cry if we want to
Lie if we want to, die if we want to
You would cry too if you were in our zoo
Oh, It’s our tea party, and we’ll cry if we want to
Lie if we want to, die if we want to…
Michele And The Lies She Does Tell
Minnesota Congresswoman Michele Bachmann (R-Crazytown) is often associated with the term, “Batshit Crazy.”
Rather than try to explain the craziness of Michele Bachmann, we thought it would be best to let you judge for yourselves by reading some of her actual quotes.
“Little children will be forced to learn that homosexuality is normal and natural and perhaps they should try it.”
Sen Michele Bachmann, Interview with Jan Markell, Olive Tree Ministries.
and
“Many teenagers that come in should be paying the employer because of broken dishes or whatever occurs during that period of time. But you know what? After six months, that teenager is going to be a fabulous employee and is going to go on a trajectory where he’s going to be making so much money, we’ll be borrowing money from him.” —Michele Bachmann, 1/26/05, explaining why teenagers should pay employers for the privilege of working instead of receiving minimum wage.
and
“Approximately 114 million Americans are expected to leave private health insurance. Why? Their employers will drop the insurance because the taxpayer-subsidized plan will be 30 to 40 percent cheaper.” —Michele Bachmann accidentally making the case for the public option
oh, and here is a fun one
“Any of you who have members of your family that are in the lifestyle – we have a member of our family that is. This is not funny. It’s a very sad life. It’s part of Satan, I think, to say this is gay. It’s anything but gay.” – Michele Bachmann, (R) Minnesota 6th District.
and our favorite
“Is there no longer freedom of speech in this chamber, Mr. President?….Mr. President…MR. PRESIDENT?….You can turn my microphone off now.” – Michele Bachmann, May 16, 2004, Last day of 2004 Session.
For these quotes and even more, please visit Dump Bachmann.
Michele Bachmann is also known for her outrageous lies. PolitiFact.com, the Pulitzer Prize winning fact checking website has posted a recent list of lies put forth by the fact-challenged representative. Each one of these statements by Bachmann has been judged by PolitiFact to be either “False” or “Pants on Fire”. Let’s take a look:
Small businesses that have “$250,000 in gross sales for the business. They’re the ones that are looking at massive tax increases.” – Pants on Fire
“The president of the United States will be taking a trip over to India that is expected to cost the taxpayers $200 million a day.” – False
“Speaker Pelosi … has been busy sticking the taxpayer with her $100,000 bar tab for alcohol on the military jets that she’s flying.” – Pants on Fire
“Social Security, like I told you, is out of money. This year it is borrowing from the general treasury.” – False
“The New England Journal of Medicine released a survey the week that President Obama signed Obamacare stating that over 30 percent of American physicians would leave the profession if the government took over health care.” – False
Let’s hope that someday the good people of Minnesota wake up from their slumber, realize that they are represented by a lying crackpot and vote her out of office.
SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT
Lynnrockets needs your help. Boston’s largest talk radio station (WRKO AM) has chosen Lynnrockets as a finalist in its “Next Great Political Blogger Contest”. Yours truly has been selected by the station’s staff (from over 200 entries) to be one of 10 finalists for a position with the station as a “liberal” blogger. There will be two winners (a “liberal” and a “conservative”) chosen by means of internet votes received. This is our chance to get even with the Palinbots for what they did for Bristol Palin on “Dancing With The Stars”. Like Bristol, I lack talent but with all of you voting for me, I may be able to pull-off an upset win. I offer my eternal gratitude if you loyal Rocketeers will visit the WRKO website (Here) and vote for wait…wait…here comes the spoiler…”Kevin McCarthy”. Looks like I’ve now been officially outed. Please vote early and often as the contest ends on Saturday, December 11th at 11:59pm EST. I would truly appreciate your help and if you really want to be of assistance, please encourage your family and friends to vote also, too!
Please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.
Michele song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKvee-w0uBc
MICHELE
(Sung to the Beatles song “Michele”)
Michele, from Hell
These are words that go together well,
Weird Michelle.
Michele, do tell,
Do you even possess one brain cell
One tiny cell?
Just shut up, just shut up, just shut up
You have nothing to say
Would you just go away
And crawl back under that rock from whence you
Ca-ame yesterday.
Michele, Oh well,
You’ve been put under a right-wing spell
A sure death knell
On Fox News, on Fox News, on Fox News
That’s where you’ll always be
Republican TV
With Hannity and O’Reilly
And Coulter, the queen
We mock you…
We want you, we want you, we want you,
To leave the air-waves now
And lose your job somehow
Until you do we’re telling you so
You’ll understand.
Michele, farewell
Take with you that foul sulfuric smell
Sulfuric smell.
We will say the only words we know that
You’ll understand, “Go to Hell.”
Thanks Rocketeers !!! (and a Request For Help)
Before enjoying this most social of American holidays with my loving (yet, sadly smaller) family, supportive friends and darling dog, Lynnrockets will take this opportunity to proclaim thanks for a few blog-related yet meaningful things.
To the authors of The Mudflats: Thank you for encouraging me to start this blog a year and a half ago. You endured my song parody comments for far too long before suggesting that I give blogging a whirl. Moreover, your technical assistance in getting me up and running was invaluable to this technology-challenged neophyte. Thank you so much. I encourage all of my readers (affectionately known as “Rocketeers”) to visit The Mudflats for some of the best “Inside Alaska” content on the internet tubes.
To the other like-minded bloggers that have linked to Lynnrockets’ Blast-Off: Thankfully this list has been growing faster than I could have imagined and all bloggers know that the “link” is the best way to broaden your scope of readership. The “Link List” is far too long to mention everyone, so I will pare it down by listing only those folks that have linked from our infancy. Thanks to The Mudflats, I Heart The Mudflats, Beach Peanuts, Malia Litman’s Blog, Palingates, Waylon’s Revolution, Future Update, Palin’s Q&A + fun, SPN Headlines, The WilliamBanzai17 Blog, Lynn Happens and my unknown homie, Micky-T. I encourage all Rocketeers to visit these sites.
To the loyal Rocketeers: Thanks to all of you that visit the Blast-Off on a regular basis. The hits to this blog have multiplied exponentially since its inception in May of 2009. I would never have anticipated that so many blood-thirsty shut-ins existed and/or had the interest to read anything that I might post. I am especially thankful for those depraved souls (you know who you are) that regularly post comments. They are insightful, humorous, sometimes unintelligible and usually sarcastic. In short, just the type of stuff that belongs here. I love them, so please keep it up. I would also like to thank all of you for putting up with my multiple “Brett Farvreian” retirements and un-retirements. You folks put the “Rock” in Rocketeers.
and last but not least…
To the Palin Clan: It was, after all, Sarah Palin and her Wasilla Hillbillies that inspired the song parody phenom now known as Lynnrockets. If not for their fingernails-on-the-chalkboard voices, unintelligible speech patterns, spoiled-brat-like demeanors, public policy ignorance, celebrity-status seeking egos and their religious cult-like followers, we would be deprived of a daily supply of parody material. For all of that, Sarah Palin, we thank you.
Lynnrockets would like to wish all of you the happiest and healthiest of Thanksgivings. I toast to you all as follows:
“For each new morning with its light, For rest and shelter of the night, For health and food, For love and friends, For everything Thy goodness sends.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT
Lynnrockets needs your help. Boston’s largest talk radio station (WRKO AM) has chosen Lynnrockets as a finalist in its “Next Great Political Blogger Contest”. Yours truly has been selected by the station’s staff (from over 200 entries) to be one of 10 finalists for a position with the station as a “liberal” blogger. There will be two winners (a “liberal” and a “conservative”) chosen by means of internet votes received. This is our chance to get even with the Palinbots for what they did for Bristol Palin on “Dancing With The Stars”. Like Bristol, I lack talent but with all of you voting for me, I may be able to pull-off an upset win. I offer my eternal gratitude if you loyal Rocketeers will visit the WRKO website (Here) and vote for wait…wait…here comes the spoiler…”Kevin McCarthy”. Looks like I’ve now been officially outed. Please vote early and often as the contest ends on Saturday, December 11th at 11:59pm EST. I would truly appreciate your help and if you really want to be of assistance, please encourage your family and friends to vote also, too!
Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.
Thank You Girl song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M_wC5zBOfxY
THANK YOU FOLKS
(sung to the Beatles song “Thank You Girl”)
Oh, oh
You’ve been good to me
This Bay State lad
Who just votes Blue
And eternally I’ll always be
So grateful too
And all I gotta do
Is thank you folks, thank you folks
We have shown the world
The point of view we’re speaking of
And that Palin girl
Is just a fool we make fun of
And all I gotta do
Is thank you folks, thank you folks
Thank you folks for reading me
The way that you do (way that you do)
That’s the kind of love
That is too good to be true
And all I gotta do
Is thank you folks, thank you folks
Oh, oh
You’ve been good to me
This Bay State lad
Who just votes Blue
And eternally I’ll always be
So grateful too
And all I gotta do
Is thank you folks, thank you folks
Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
Things We Learned About The Clampetts, Err Palins From DWTS
Ding dong the witch is dead. We knew it could not go on forever. We knew that at some point Bristol Palin would be dumped from “Dancing With The Stars”. Just the same, we will miss the contestant that was a star only as the result of her status as being a former unwed pregnant teen. Bristol’s presence on the show gave the nation another point of contact with America’s most notorious reality television-based family. And we learned a number of things during her tenure such as…
- Sarah Palin is likely to get booed whenever she appears before an audience that has not been hand-picked and stocked full of Tea-Baggers;
- Bristol enjoyed publicly embarrassing “Mama Bear” by choosing songs that were thinly veiled insults at Sarah’s parenting skills (or lack thereof) and her unwed teen pregnancy (i.e. “Mama Told Me Not To Come” and “You Can’t Hurry Love”);
- Palinbots will game the system and support the Palin family in whatever endeavor they choose to pursue regardless of talent or taste;
- Bristol embraced the Palin-denied “Theory of Evolution” when she donned her anthropomorphic gorilla costume;
- Sarah Palin’s sex-obsession regarding her children has no limits, as was evidenced by her concern that Bristol might perform a stripper’s “lap dance” on national television;
- Bristol does not vote;
- Bristol believed that if she won the contest, “it would be like giving the big middle finger to the people that hate her mother” and her;
- Sarah thought that husband Todd would have been a better contestant on the show because ballroom dancing is apparently within his “comfort zone” but not Bristol’s; and
- Sarah was correct. Bristol cannot dance.
Bristol, we hardly knew ye. But fear not loyal Lynnrockets readers, we still have one Palin related reality show in progress and one more in the production stages. “Sarah Palin’s Alaska” is presently airing on TLC and consequently we will get a weekly dose of her invading the privacy of her neighbors (author/antagonist Joe McGinniss), lying about reading and researching and generally misinforming most Americans about the state of Alaska. Additionally, we can look forward to the insane antics of Levi Johnston as he runs for mayor of Wasilla before our very own television-peeping eyes. Perhaps Sarah will instruct Todd and his buddies to drill another spy hole through her fence so that she can keep track of her once and future son-in-law. Speaking of Track, how long will it be before the prodigal son gets his own reality show?
Stay tuned. Same Rocket channel! Same Rocket time!
Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.
Dancing Queen song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y62OlGvC-bk
DANCING QUEEN
(sung to the ABBA song “Dancing Queen”)
She can dance, she’ll connive, someday she’ll be Levi’s wife
(Ooooh)
Scheming girl, pregnant teen, she is the dancing queen
Not too bright and her sights set low
Stepping out just to earn some dough
Where they play right-wing music, sporting her new bling
Let’s pray that she don’t sing
Baby Tripp is right by her side
Sarah Palin mulls suicide
First Dude, he’s sure to lose it. Here comes Palin decline
There’ll be no second chance
Let’s all watch Bristol dance…
Bristol’s the dancing queen, two left feet, unwed pregnant teen
Dancing queen, seeking green from the cash machine
(Oh yeah)
She’ll enhance her sex drive, and prove that she is pro-life
(Ooooh)
Bristol girl, on TV, she is the dancing queen
She’s a teaser, she leads boys on
Never makes them put condoms on
She’s the unwed teen mother soon to make Baby Two
She loves to take a chance
Let’s all watch Bristol dance…
Bristol’s the dancing queen, two left feet, unwed pregnant teen
Dancing queen, indiscrete on the TV screen
(Oh yeah)
What’s the chance she’ll survive? Should have been gone by Round 5?
(Ooooh)
Bristol girl, on TV, she is the dancing queen
Bristol’s the dancing queen
Glenn Beck And Child Pornography? Who Knew?
Watching Glenn Beck’s mental stability deteriorate before our very eyes is like viewing the aftermath of a terrible car accident. It is disgusting and revolting yet somehow simultaneously compelling. The gore and stench is vomit-inducing, yet we continue to bear with it so that we can viscerally experience the full ugly scene. Nevertheless, when the carnage and debris is finally carted away, the spectacle is quickly forgotten and we resume our daily lives. Let’s hope that is the way that the Glenn Beck meltdown plays out. It will be best for America if Glenn Beck is remembered as a momentary disaster from which most of us emerged unscathed.
Fox News should someday be embarrassed by the fact that it marketed Glenn Beck as a serious voice in the realm of political discourse. This raving, crying man-baby should never have been offered the opportunity to broadcast his uber-conservative conspiracy theories to the nationwide masses without prefacing each show with one of those “The views and opinions of Glenn Beck should in no way be considered as representative of those of a sane person” disclaimers. After all, his college career lasted all of one course. Not one year or one semester mind you, ONE COURSE. If that were not enough to disqualify him from being considered a qualified news source, consider his multiple marriages and confessed drug and alcohol addiction as an indication of his lack of self control and commitment. Beck is also the guy who went on national television and reported that President Obama has “a deep-seated hatred for white people.” He is clearly unhinged and the “hatred for white people” comment initiated a massive and continuing advertiser boycott of his program.
During the last week, Beck’s witch-hunt has been directed at billionaire George Soros, the straw-man demon of all conservatives. Soros of course, is the Jewish Holocaust survivor, businessman and notable philanthropist focused on supporting liberal ideals and causes. He played a significant role in the peaceful transition from communism to capitalism in Hungary and provided Europe’s largest-ever higher education endowment to Central European University in Budapest. In the United States, he is known for donating large sums of money in an effort to defeat President George W. Bush’s bid for re-election in 2004. He was an initial donor to the Center for American Progress, and he continues to support the organization through the Open Society Foundations. He contributes to such fact-checking and political myth debunking entities as MoveOn.org and MediaMatters.org.
By virtue of his philanthropy and liberal agenda, George Soros is considered a dangerous enemy by Fox News as a whole and Glenn Beck in particular. So how does Beck counter Soros? Easy, he does it by lying and twisting the laws of physics in such a way that he labels the Jewish Holocaust survivor as an anti-semitic Holocaust collaborator. Beck went so far as to suggest that Soros helped “send the Jews” to “death camps” during the Holocaust. Beck said that Soros had “to go and confiscate the property of your fellow Jews” during the Holocaust.
Becks blatantly false accusations against Soros led to widespread condemnation from prominent Jewish leaders and Holocaust survivors. Anti-Defamation League national director Abraham H. Foxman called the comments “completely inappropriate, offensive and over the top,” as well as “unacceptable” and “horrific.” Elan Steinberg, vice president of the the American Gathering of Jewish Holocaust Survivors and Their Descendants, called the Beck accusations “monstrous.” And Simon Greer, president of the Jewish Funds for Justice, said that Beck had “deliberately and grotesquely mischaracterize[d]” Soros’ experience and engaged in “a form of Holocaust revisionism.”
Truth be told, Soros was thirteen years old in March 1944 when Nazi Germany occupied Hungary. Soros worked for the Jewish Council, which had been established during the Nazi occupation of Hungary to forcibly carry out Nazi and Hungarian government anti-Jewish measures. Soros later described this time to writer Michael Lewis:
The Jewish Council asked the little kids to hand out the deportation notices. I was told to go to the Jewish Council. And there I was given these small slips of paper…It said report to the rabbi seminary at 9 a.m….And I was given this list of names. I took this piece of paper to my father. He instantly recognized it. This was a list of Hungarian Jewish lawyers. He said, “You deliver the slips of paper and tell the people that if they report they will be deported.”
In 1944, at age 14, Soros lived with and posed as the godson of an employee of the Hungarian Ministry of Agriculture. On one occasion, the official was ordered to inventory the remaining contents of the estate of a wealthy Jewish family that had fled the country. Rather than leave the young George alone in the city, the official brought him along. Soros was merely a young boy attempting to stay alive by hiding his identity. He never confiscated any property. He was merely a bystander on that one occasion.
When Glenn Beck finally realized what a firestorm of contempt he had ignited with his false accusations, he immediately went on the defensive. He concocted a brand new fictitious conspiracy in which he claims that he will be falsely accused of something of which he is not guilty (or is he?) as a means of liberal revenge. He said this on his radio program:
“I thought about this morning as I was saying my prayers this morning, and I was reading Psalms, I thought to myself, ‘I’m glad my children will always know the truth.’ And I thought of all the things they could possibly say—the greatest thing I have going for me is I have no lies in my life. I don’t have lies in my life. I— I— I—I—I’m—I pay my income tax. I—I—I pay my bills. I’m honest in all of my business dealings. I try to be a good guy. I’m not always a good guy. I try to be a good guy. I try to be a good parent. I—I don’t drink; I don’t take drugs. I—uhh—you know—I’m not—I’m not into ch—I’m not even into—I was going to say I’m not into child pornography. I’m not only not into child pornography, I’m not into pornography. So, no matter what you read about me—no matter what you read about me, umm, in the coming months, or whenever, that’s fine. I really—I mean—I can’t imagine what they’re gonna—but they have to say something. There has to be something fabricated about me. Has to be! You just can’t let this juggernaut go as we’re changing everything because I’m rolling dude heavy.”
Hey Glenn, just because you are paranoid does not mean that they are not out to get you! But jeesh, child pornography? What’s up with that? Sounds to us like maybe you are already setting up some sort of alibi. Why is it that with ultra-conservatives it always comes down to some sort of illicit sex scandal? You know, like “Diaper” Dave Vitter and his prostitutes, Larry “Loo” Craig and his foot tapping men’s room escapade, Mark Sanford “and Son” and his South of the Border soirees and Sarah Palin and her sex-targeted children just to name a few? But child pornography, Glenn? How low can you go?
Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.
The Fool On The Hill song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3KXrrh74wTs&feature=related
THE FOOL WHO KNOWS NIL
(sung to the Beatles song, “The Fool On The Hill”)
Day after day
He gives us a chill
Glenn Beck is crying again
Let’s watch his eyes start to fill
And nobody wants to know him
They can see that he’s just a fool
And he has not one good answer
Beck’s the fool who knows nil
George Soros stares him down
And Glenn’s face grows bright red
As his head spins around
Glenn’s head today,
Filled up with sound
Beck’s head hears a thousand voices
Screaming nonsense so loud
Everybody wants to jeer him
For the weeping that he does fake
Yet Glenn never seems to notice
Beck’s the fool who knows nil
He’s a dim-witted clown
In need of some strong meds
Beck’s off to crazy-town
(musical interlude)
And nobody seems to like him
It looks like he’s back on the booze
Or maybe he’s back drug dealing
Beck’s the fool who knows nil
He’s beginning to drown
And his sponsors have fled
Soon he’ll be not around
Oh, round, an’ round, an’ round, an’ round, an’ round
Nobody listens to him
They know that he’s a fool
They don’t like him
The fool who knows nil
He’s beginning to drown
And his sponsors have fled
Soon he’ll be not around
Oh, round, an’ round, an’ round, an’ round
Oh …