Sarah Palin Raises Some Cain

Over the last three years we have witnessed Sarah Palin make just about every conceivable gaffe we could think of. While being interviewed by Katie Couric, she could not name one single Supreme Court case other than Roe v. Wade and she was unable to name a single newspaper or magazine which she reads. She told a third grader that the Vice President runs the Senate. She has claimed that the Founding Fathers said the Pledge of Allegiance. She said that our Constitution is based on the Bible. She said that Susan B. Anthony opposed abortion. She claimed that Democrats moved the words “In God We Trust” on coins. She claimed that the White House has a Department of Law. She stated that the First Amendment protects against attacks from the media. She claimed that our new health care law contained “death panels” and most striking of all, she claimed that the purpose of Paul Revere’s “Midnight Ride” was to warn the British by means of ringing bells and firing warning shots.

Now we have a new Palin blunder. She appeared as a guest on Fox News’ “On The Record” with Greta Van Susteren the other night. Her diatribe consisted of the usual indecipherable word salad but she threw in a new twist. While discussing the recent developments in the GOP primary race she referred to Presidential candidate Herman Cain as the “flavor of the week” and then proceeded to repeatedly refer to him as as “Herb”. Jeesh, you would think that she could at least get a Presidential candidate’s name straight.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Pump It Up song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tpprOGsLWUo

FUDGE IT UP

(sung to the Elvis Costello song “Pump It Up”)

Palin’s losing her looks
She’s into banning books
Time to face the music
Shilling for “Arctic Cat”
She’s a moonbat
Blew the race for Johnny Mac
Was the Guv but then she quit
And left the state fast

Fudge it up. Too bad she couldn’t see it.
Fudge it up. Now she can’t conceal it.

She’s so far right of center
Hell bent, not Heaven sent
Listen to her propaganda
Listen to her latest slander
Palin don’t understand
All her moves are underhand

Fudge it up. Now she has revealed it.
Fudge it up. A wound but she can’t heal it.

Hey!

She is a dumb girl
She makes us wanna hurl
Like Lorena Bobbitt
Sarah’s psychotic
When she’s on a book tour
She dresses like a whore
In those clothes Mac bought for her
A tea-bagging gal for sure

Fudge it up. Now she has revealed it.
Fudge it up. A wound but she can’t heal it.

In the “Party of No”
Palin will never win
Soon they will kick her out
With all her inbred kin
Her “Death Panel” mission
Beat into submission
Her conical hat is made out of tin

Fudge it up. Now she has revealed it.
Fudge it up. A wound but she can’t heal it.

Fudge it up. Now she has revealed it.
Fudge it up. A wound but she can’t heal it.

Fudge it up. Now she has revealed it.
Fudge it up. A wound but she can’t heal it.

Palin should beat it
Palin should beat it
Palin should beat it.

Rick Perry Joins The Ranks Of The American History-Challenged GOP

Three Blind Mice

This week while on the campaign stump, Rick “Social Security Is A Ponzi Scheme” Perry made a fool of himself while attempting to teach his supporters a little bit about American history. He is not the only Republican Presidential candidate or psuedo-Presidential candidate to do this in recent months.

Last March while campaigning in Manchester, New Hampshire, moonbat-crazy Minnesota Rep. Michele Bachmann revealed a major gap in her grasp of the history of the American Revolutionary War. She confused her supporters be declaring, “You’re the state where the shot was heard around the world in Lexington and Concord. And you put a marker in the ground and paid with the blood of your ancestors the very first price that had to be paid to make this the most magnificent nation that has ever arisen in the annals of man in 5,000 years of recorded history.’’

The echo of the “shot heard ’round the world” may have been heard in New Hampshire, but it was, of course, actually fired in Massachusetts as most every school child knows. Bachmann also infamously and incorrectly claimed that our nation’s Founding Fathers fought “tirelessly until slavery was no more in the United States.” Of course the reality is that many of the Founding Fathers were actually slave owners and they were long dead by the time slavery was abolished in 1865.

Next we had the former ex-quitting half-term Gov. of Alaska, Sarah Palin reveal her complete misunderstanding of Paul Revere’s storied “Midnight Ride”. While visiting Boston, Massachusetts on her SaraPAC-funded nationwide family vacation/campaign tour last summer, Palin described to a reporter her understanding of Paul Revere’s ride as follows: “He who warned uh, the British that they weren’t gonna be takin’ away our arms, uh by ringing those bells, and um, makin’ sure as he’s ridin’ his  horse through town to send those warning shots and bells that we were going to be sure and we were going to be free, and we were going to be armed.”

Of course, the actual purpose of Paul Revere’s ride was NOT to warn the British about anything. It was intended to be a secret mission in which Revere was to inform Hancock and Adams that the British were advancing on them. That is why the silent communication of lanterns was utilized. Indeed, during his ride to notify Colonists, Revere was often cautioned to remain very quiet. At no time was Revere “ringing those bells”. But hey, this was Sarah Palin talking and nobody ever really expects her to have any idea of what she is talking about.

This leads us directly to Rick Perry. This week he stood on the podium in front of supporters in his home state of Texas and misinformed them about the Boston Tea Party and 1770s colonial Boston by saying,

“There was a time in our nation’s history when people like you — patriots — they had to disguise themselves and sneak around in Boston, if you will, cities up in the Northeast, in the dark. They risked their lives in order to send a message about unfair taxation.”

Because a picture is worth a thousand words, let’s watch Perry in action:

Of course what Perry said is completely false as Matthew Yglesias at ThinkProgress.com points out as follows:

“Contrary to Perry’s assertion, nobody was ‘afraid to walk around in public’ in colonial Boston out of ‘fear that they’d be persecuted’ for objecting to high taxes. What actually happened was that ‘disguised men and others then went on board the tea-ships moored at Griffin’s Wharf, and in the course of three hours they emptied three hundred and forty-two chests of tea into the water of the harbor.’ Apparently not all the tea partiers actually did wear disguises at all, but clearly the point of wearing disguises wasn’t generalized fear of public expression of dissent but specific fear that acts of vandalism were illegal. For all that’s changed in the subsequent 230 years, this aspect of American life is basically the same. People who want to protest peacefully do so freely, people who want to destroy other people’s property are more likely to wear masks.”

Certainly, nobody in his Texas audience had any idea that what Rick Perry said was completely untrue. Such is probably a result of the fact that Texas ranks 44th in expenditures per public school pupil. That has translated directly into Texas’ rank as the 43rd worst state in terms of percentage of high school graduates. Perry can also be excused for his ignorance because he was not much of a student himself. He was placed on academic probation while attending Texas A&M.

Perhaps a new movie starring Sarah Palin, Michele Bachmann and Rick Perry should be produced. It could be a comedy about recreating American history to fit the confused Teapublican mindset. It could be titled, “Dumb, Dumber and Dumberer“.

Read my lips, “NO NEW TEXANS!”

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Wonderful World (Don’t Know Much) link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jNO72aCnVr0

RIGHT WING WORLD (DON’T KNOW MUCH)-Rick Perry Version

(sung to the Sam Cooke song “Wonderful World”)

Don’t know much about history
Don’t know much ecology
Don’t know much about that climate change
Don’t know why voters think I am strange

But I do know I have no clue
And my brain cells are so very few
What a right wing world this should be

Don’t have much of an education
I know a lot about procreation
Opposition should have no voice
Pregnant women should have no choice

But i do know one thing that is true
Pilgrims came in 1492
What a right wing world this should be

Now I don’t claim to be be an “A” student
Somethings I’ll never be
But maybe my being a “D” student, baby
Lets me revise history

Don’t know much about history
Don’t believe biology
Don’t know much about a science book
Won’t give climate change a second look

But I do know my time is due
And I’ll be there in 2-0-1-2
What a right wing world this will be

(Ponzi Scheme break)

And I do know you’ll love Rick Perry
The new brain-trust of the Tea Party
What a right wing world this will be

Frivolous Lawsuit-Hating Palin To File Her Own Frivolous Lawsuit?

"I'll get you Joe McGinniss!"

Last week, author (and former Palin neighbor) Joe McGinniss released his scathing book about Sarah Palin, titled, “The Rogue: Searching For The Real Sarah Palin”. The acclaimed author certainly found out a lot about Sarah Palin and he was not shy about including the naked truth in his book.

McGinniss is the investigative journalist who infamously moved in next door to the Palins during the summer of 2010 while researching his book. In an effort to shield her family from the ever watchful eye of McGinniss, Palin constructed a ridiculously high spite-fence. Not only did the fence impede McGinniss’ sight lines, but it also looked terrible and probably decreased the value of the Palin property. The sex-obsessed SarahPalin justified the fence by alleging that McGinniss was some sort of perverted Peeping Tom. In a contemporaneous Facebook entry, she wrote,

Wonder what kind of material he’ll gather while overlooking Piper’s bedroom…

The fence did not prevent McGinniss from gathering his facts however, and they do not paint a pretty portrait of Sarah Palin or her family. For instance, the book states that McGinniss was told that Sarah Palin snorted cocaine off an overturned 55-gallon drum during a snowmobile excursion, slept with college (and later NBA) basketball star Glen Rice when she was an unmarried 23-year-old sports reporter (McGinniss talked to Rice for the book and he confirmed the relationship) and had an affair with Brad Hanson, husband Todd Palin‘s business partner, apparently as payback for her husband’s infidelities.

McGinniss also wrote that he was told that “By November 2001, Sarah’s domestic life was in tatters.… Time with friends — not that there were many friends — would degenerate into marital squabbles, raised voices, and frequent threats of divorce. A recurring cause of conflict was Sarah’s inability or refusal to act as mother to her children.” McGinniss also suggests “that Palin’s “hockey mom” image is the most stage-managed sort of lie. “Friends recall,” McGinniss observes, “that when Todd was working on the North Slope, the children literally would have a hard time finding enough to eat. ‘Those kids had to fend for themselves,’ one says. ‘I’d walk into that kitchen and Bristol and Willow would be sitting there with a burnt pot of Kraft mac and cheese on the stove … and Sarah would be up in her bedroom with the door closed saying she didn’t want to be disturbed.”‘

Ouch! All of this scathing information was certain to leave a lasting scar on the Palin family. It has. The first to respond was “First Dude” Todd Palin. In a statement to reporters immediately after the book’s release he described the book as “disgusting lies, innuendo, and smears. This is a man who has been relentlessly stalking my family to the point of moving in right next door to us to harass us and spy on us to satisfy his creepy obsession with my wife.”

Now the second Palin shoe has dropped. CNN reports that Sarah Palin has “threatened to sue the book’s author for including what her lawyer called a “series of lies and rumors presented as fact.” The CNN report also states that “In a letter sent to the book’s publisher, Crown Publishing Group, Palin’s lawyer said Monday both McGinniss and Crown knowingly published false information and ‘defamed the Palins.”‘

It is obvious that McGinniss’ book has hit a Palin nerve, but the author stands by the veracity of his written assertions. he stated the following to CNN’s “American Morning”:

“Sarah Palin has lived an outrageous life. All I did was talk to people about it, and they documented it for me. When I was comfortable with the veracity of what I heard, I put it into the book. There were a lot of things that I wasn’t comfortable with, that I didn’t put them in.”

Palin’s threatened lawsuit would be quite interesting. The discovery process alone would require her to make statements “under the pains and penalties of perjury” in the form of answers to written interrogatories and live deposition testimony. Furthermore, the Plaintiff (in this case Sarah Palin) bears the burden of proving that McGinniss’ statements are false and true statements are an absolute defense to her action. Palin also bears the additional burden of dealing with what is known as the “public figure doctrine”. That doctrine provides that for a public official (or other legitimate public figure) to win a libel case, the statement must have been published knowing it to be false or with reckless disregard to its truth, (also known as actual malice). That is a very difficult burden to prove for a public figure such as Sarah Palin.

Just wondering, but does the former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska really want to expose herself to a lawsuit wherein her statements and those of family members and others would be made under oath and made public? Enquiring minds want to know.

This gives us the opportunity to re-post a song parody (with slight modifications0 which was originally written the last time that Palin threatened to sue somebody for libel. The subject of the song is Sarah Palin’s long-time attorney, Thomas Van Flein, Esq. Please enjoy.

Please click on the song link below to have more fun singing along.

Please Mr. Postman song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N8BPcNUQy-0

MR. VAN FLEIN (Version II)

(sung to The Beatles version of the song “Please, Mr. Postman”)

Wait, oh yes wait a minute mister postman
Wait, wait mister postman

Mister postman look and see
You got a summons in your bag for me?
I been waiting such a long time
Since I heard from Thomas Van Flein

There must be some word today
From Ms. Palin’s own attorney
Please mister postman look and see
If there’s a summons, to be served on me
I been writing and waiting mister postman
So patiently
For just a call. I got his letter
Saying that he would be suing me

Please mister postman look and see
If there’s a summons in your bag for me
I’ve been waitin’ for Thomas Van Flein
To prove to me that he has a spine

Wants to sue off my ass this time
For what she considers a crime
Threatening me makes her feel better
Palin will learn I’m not a bed wetter

Sarah Palin look at me
You shouldn’t hang out your dirty laundry
I’ll report it in my due time
Go tell that to Thomas Van Flein

You gotta wait a minute, wait a minute
Wait a minute, wait a minute
You gotta wait a minute, wait a minute
Check it and see, one more time for me

You gotta wait a minute, wait a minute
Wait a minute, wait a minute
Mister postman
Deliver the letter, the sooner the better

You gotta wait a minute, wait a minute
Wait a minute, wait a minute
You gotta wait a minute, wait a minute
You gotta wait a minute, wait a minute
You gotta wait a minute, wait a minute
(repeat to fade)

GOP Flavor Of The Week Is Pizza and Rick Perry “Really Did Throw-Up All Over Himself”

Breaking News: Herman Cain won the GOP straw poll in Florida last Friday. The former owner of Godfathers’ Pizza is now the “flavor of the week” for Republicans. The highly touted Florida Straw Poll is important to members of the Grand Old Party because its winner has an unusually high percentage of eventually capturing the party’s nomination for President. Cain is the “flavor of the week” because although he won this particular contest, moonbat-crazy Michele Bachmann won the earlier Iowa Straw Poll and Mitt(wit) Romney won the Michigan Straw Poll and Ron “Civil Rights Act is Unconstitutional” Paul won the California Straw Poll. Strangely enough, the consensus Republican front-runner, Rick Perry has consistently failed to win any contests (or debates for that matter). Floridians appeared to be impressed by Cain’s “9 – 9 – 9” taxation plan which many of them confused with Godfathers’ Pizza’s “9 – 9 – 9 Pizza Deal” which consisted of a 9 inch pizza with 9 toppings all for $9 dollars.

Lynnrockets also took one for the team and watched “Fox News Sunday“. It was very enlightening to learn that not only do all all the conservative Fox News pundits dislike the field of Republican Presidential candidates, but that they also believe that the majority of Republican voters are displeased with the lot. Panelist A.B Stoddard said the Cain win represented not only a disappointment over Perry, but a “dissatisfaction” with the current field amongst the GOP base. She said the poll was “a real slap toward Perry and Mitt Romney…they don’t like their choices at all”.  Bill Kristol piped-in by saying “70% of Floridians voted against the two front-runners (i.e Perry and Romney)” and “it was a vote of no confidence ” against both of them. He concluded by saying “these are very weak front-runners”. Juan Williams (the only quasi-liberal panelist) said, “there still is this hankering for someone else to come in”. Williams went on to say,

“The impression they are giving to the nation as a whole is that this is a very limited conversation among the Tea Party element or the far right of the Republican Party. Not only is it that they won’t except $3 dollars in cuts for $1 dollar in a tax hike, but it’s things like the immigration argument that really held center this week…If I’m Hispanic and I’m watching that show (the debate), I think, ‘Gee, these people don’t like me. They don’t like immigrants of any stripe'”.

It was Brit Hume however, who was the most caustic toward Perry in particular and the Republican field in general. He opened by saying,

“Perry really did throw-up all over himself at the debate and at a time when he really did need to raise his game, … he did worse…Perry is about one half a step away from total collapse as a candidate…What keeps happening here is these people have a moment, they get into the race as Perry did and zoom to the top and everybody is in love, and then we get a dose of them… and they don’t seem so great.”

Let’s go to the tape. The Brit Hume statements begin at the 2:00 minute mark:

Batting next for the Republican Party: Chris Christie?

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

“All Together Now” song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LtjhW-ERoak

ALL TOGETHER NOW

 (sung to the Beatles song “All Together Now”)

One, two, three, four
Rick Perry’s a Texan whore
Five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten I loathe you

A, B, C, D
Bachmann’s drinking too much tea
E, F, G, H, I, J I loathe you

Boom, bam, boom
Boom, bam, boom

Mitt’s a dip
Boom, bam, boom
Newt’s crazy
Boom, bam, boom
Paul’s a dope
Boom, bam, boom
Where’s Christie?

All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now

Black, white, green, red
Listen to what Herm Cain said
Pink, brown, yellow, orange and blue I loathe you

All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now

Rick’s a twit
Boom, bam, boom
Jon’s a dweeb
Boom, bam, boom
Not a hope
Boom, bam, boom
Nobodies!

All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now….

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 91

Just a few newsworthy items (and comments thereon) that have been making their way through the political universe this past week but may have escaped your attention. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful day!

BREAKING NEWS:  Guess what happened last week? The infamous Ground Zero Mosque (which is not at Ground Zero and is not a mosque) opened and nothing happened. Absolutely nothing happened. This is exactly what sane people were saying for the last year or more. This makes you wonder what all the fuss was about.

THIS JUST IN:  During last Thursday’s Fox News sponsored Republican debate, Rick Perry was asked what his first move would be if Pakistan had lost control of its nuclear weapons to the Taliban. Perry responded with this:

“Well, obviously before you ever get to that point, you have to build a relationship in that region. That’s one of the things that this administration has not done. Just yesterday, we found out through Admiral Mullen that Haqqani has been involved with, and that’s a terrorist group, directly associated with the Pakistani country. To have a relationship with India, to make sure that India knows that they are an ally of the United States. For instance, when we had the opportunity to sell India the upgraded F-16s, we chose not to do that. We did the same thing with Taiwan. The point is, our allies need to understand clearly that we are their friends, we will be standing by there with them. Today, we don’t have those allies in that region that can assist us if that situation that you talked about were to become a reality.”

Is it just me, or did Mr. “Social Security is a Ponzi Scheme” make absolutely no sense?

BREAKING NEWS:  On the other side of the spectrum, Massachusetts Democratic Senate candidate Elizabeth Warren had this to say about business owners who decry the government for impeding their ability to conduct business and make profits:

“I hear all this, oh this is class warfare, no! There is nobody in this country who got rich on his own. Nobody.  You built a factory out there — good for you. But I want to be clear.  You moved your goods to market on the roads the rest of us paid for.  You hired workers the rest of us paid to educate.  You were safe in your factory because of police forces and fire forces that the rest of us paid for. You didn’t have to worry that maurauding bands would come and seize everything at your factory… Now look.  You built a factory and it turned into something terrific or a great idea — God Bless! Keep a Big Hunk of it.  But part of the underlying social contract is you take a hunk of that and pay forward for the next kid who comes along.”

Looks like the nude boy-toy Teapublican Scott Brown has some very real competition coming his way.

THIS JUST IN:  The best quote of the week was delivered by President Barack Obama in the Rose Garden when he unveiled his $3 trillion long-term deficit reduction plan which includes raising taxes and closing loopholes on the wealthiest Americans. He said, “This is not class warfare – it’s math.”

BREAKING NEWS:  Cartoon of the week from CrooksandLiars.com:

THIS JUST IN:  Idle threat of the week: Fox News host Bill O’Reilly threatened to quit working if his “rich-guy” taxes are raised. Really? Sounds like all the more reason for increasing taxes on the rich (oops, I mean job creators).

BREAKING NEWS:  As long as we are on the subject of Fox News, here is a little tidbit that involves hosts Sarah Palin and Sean Hannity. Back in July, the former ex-quitting half-term governor of Alaska told Hannity that her decision whether or not to run for President would be made in August or September. Of course August is now long past and September is waning and Palin has still not made any announcement. She appeared on Hannity’s program again this week, and rather than press Palin on her self-imposed timetable for a decision, Hannity instead asked her whether November was the month by which she would need to make a decision. Palins response? “Legally you do because you have to start getting your ducks lined up to have your name on these ballots.” How much longer will Palin’s charade continue? It will continue as long as she can continue to make a buck by prolonging her announcement not to run.

GO PACKERS!!!

Please remember to click on the song links below to familiarize yourselves with the tunes and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parodies.

Saturday In The Park song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TwryFOYTKac

HANNITY IN THE DARK

(sung to the Chicago song “Saturday In The Park”)

Hannity in the dark
You’d think that he would open his eyes
Hannity in the dark
It’s rhetoric that the reich wing buys
Keeps us barfing, keeps us laughing
The man is a lame-brain
G.O.P. talking points
Ixnay on the truthiness
Do you dig it? (no, we don’t)
And he’s been at it such a long time
Sean Hannity

Hannity in the dark
You’d think that he would open his eyes
Hannity in the dark
It’s rhetoric that the reich wing buys
His tough talking, while he’s smiling
Scared of waterboarding
Chicken-hawk with gall
Olbermann exposed the fool
Can you dig it? (yes, we can)
And Alan Colmes was such a nice guy
Yesterday

Slow thinking dropout without a college degree
A bought man just can shill for the G.O.P.
Fox News execs know they’re his boss
Know they’re his boss (oh, yeah, yeah)

In a daze, in the dark
Every day’s a day full of lies
In a haze, off the mark
He’s just like Limbaugh in disguise
Embellishing and misleading
An abomination
Like the Berlin Wall
An idiot, pitching a fit
Can you dig it? (no, we can’t)
And he’s been at it such a long time
Hannity

Thursday’s GOP Debate In 100 Seconds

Did you miss last Thursday’s Fox News-sponsored Republican debate? Don’t worry, the good folks over at TalkingPointsMemo.com have capsulized the whole thing into a very entertaining 100 seconds. please enjoy!

‘Nuff said.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Every Kind Of People song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_tEH_YYqEH0&feature=player_embedded

EVERY KIND OF PEOPLE

(sung to the Robert Palmer version of the song “Every Kind Of People”)

The far right always competes
They all lie and then misspeak
Try to keep their jobs
Fighting to land a spot on Fox

It takes every kind of people
To make that right wing sound
Every kind of people
To vainly scream and shout

We’re not sure Glenn Beck can read
Is Ann Coulter a he or is it a she?
O’Reilly seems so damn uptight
Limbaugh cannot keep a wife

Though they profit by deceit
Honest men know that
Fox will suffer defeat
If you’re anything but white
Fox News will insult you with delight

It takes every kind of people
To make that right wing sound
Every kind of people
To vainly scream and shout

(misinformation break)

You know that hate’s their only goal
They learned that long ago from Bob Dole
Hey, and they are all insane
Looking to always pass the blame

It takes every kind of people
To make that right wing sound
It takes every kind of people
To vainly scream and shout

Every kind of people
To vainly scream and shout
It takes very kind of people

Unpatriotic Teapublicans On Display At GOP Debate (And Fact Check)

The anger, lack of compassion and unpatriotic behavior keeps mounting with each successive Republican Presidential debate. In the first debate to include Rick Perry we had the Republican audience cheer the fact that as Governor of Texas, Perry led the nation with 234 executions. At the next Tea Party-sponsored debate, the audience cheered for the death of a sick person without health insurance. Then, just last night at the Fox News debate, audience members actually booed a gay active duty soldier who asked a question about the “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” policy. Yes, they booed an American military hero who is serving in Iraq. Let’s got to the tape:

How’s that for Republican patriotism?

But there is so much more to discuss about last night’s debate between 9 GOP presidential wannabes. As usual, the cadre of misinformed candidates elicited quite a few misstatements and lies. Forbes.com provides a nice fact-check on the Republicans’ performance. For instance, Rick “Social Security Is A Ponzi Sceme” Perry boldly declared last night that he had never advocated turning Social Security over to the states. Last night he said, “We never said that we were going to move this back to the states”. In fact,  just last November he said, “Get it back to the states. Why is the federal government even in the pension program or the health care delivery program? Let the states do it.” Boy, does that ever look like a Mitt Romney flip-flop! Perry has also backtracked on his “Ponzi Sceme” rhetoric and now refuses to repeat those words which he so proudly wrote in his book wherein he said that the Social Security program is a “Ponzi Scheme and a crumbling monument to the failure of the new deal.”

Last night also exposed Moonbat-crazy Michele Bachmann misreading presidential approval polls. She said, “President Barack Obama has the lowest public approval ratings of any president in modern time.” That is true, Forbes points out, “if you leave out Harry Truman, Richard Nixon, George W. Bush, Jimmy Carter, George H.W. Bush, Lyndon Johnson, Ronald Reagan, Bill Clinton and Gerald Ford. All of them at some point in their terms dipped lower than Obama’s low point of 38 percent job approval, according to Gallup’s comparison”. Bachmann also denied making the statement that she made just last week to the effect that an HPV vaccine can cause mental retardation (just wondering, but was Bachmann ever administered that vaccine?).

Mitt Romney also faced problems with the truth as usual. Rick Perry disparagingly stated that Romney supports some of President Obama’s education initiatives including the “Race To The Top” program. Romney responded, “I don’t support any particular program that he’s describing.” Unfortunately for Romney, Forbes points out that “Romney does indeed support some of the specific policy changes encouraged by the Race to the Top program and said as much earlier in the week. Speaking in Miami on Wednesday, he praised the president’s education secretary, Arne Duncan, for the program. And during the debate, Romney acknowledged supporting elements of the initiative, including teacher evaluations and charter schools.” It would appear that the Romney campaign strategy is to to continue to flip-flop his way to the nomination.

With all the lies and misinformation being tossed around at the Republican debates, it is no wonder that most polls indicate that Ron “Fort Knox Is Empty” Paul won last night’s showdown. At least the wacky Paul keeps his story straight by relentlessly repeating how much it costs to air-condition military barracks in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

God Bless The U.S.A. song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q65KZIqay4E

PROUD TO BE A REPUBLICAN

(sung to the Lee Greenwood song “God Bless The U.S.A.”)

If tomorrow all my brains were gone
And I was just plant life
With a feeding tube shoved in
Against the wishes of my wife
I’d thank my lucky stars the G.O.P. had their way
And curtailed my family’s freedom
Made them watch me waste away

Boy, I’m proud to be a Republican
Like Huckabee and Romney
And I won’t forget Glenn Beck who cried
Right there on Fox TV
Cuz they’ll gladly stand up next to you
And berate your union pay
I just love those hate filled flames they fan
They hate the U.S.A.

Bachmann hates in Minnesota
Alaska has Sarah P.
Rick Perry down in Texas
They’re in the Tea Party
Not Detroit nor in Boston
Too liberal, black and gay
There’s no soul in any Republican heart
And they love it just that way

Yes, I’m proud to be a Republican
Just like Rush and Hannity
And I love the facts they do deny
Right there on Fox TV
And I’ll gladly stand up next to you
And castigate Tina Fey
Cuz I never doubt those Red State men
No matter what they say

Oh, I’m proud to be a Republican
As I sit here sipping tea
Palin’s “death panels” can’t be denied
They say on Fox TV
Sarah sends a Twitter –  text to you
Six or seven times a day
It’s Republicans that love this land
In our per-ver-ted way!

Palin’s “Cougar Crush” And Possible Divorce

This week’s episode of “Sarah Palin and her Wasilla Hillbillies” features her husband Todd Palin and her almost son-in-law Levi Johnston. Tune in to witness family intrigue as the entire cast must deal with rumors of Caribou Barbie’s infidelity and the pressures it has placed on the entire Palin clan.

The episode begins as Levi Johnston gives an interview and says that Sarah Palin had a “Cougar Crush” on him. For those of you that may be unfamiliar with that term, it  is defined by UrbanDictionary.com as follows:

“The heart fluttering sensation experienced by women of a certain age upon seeing a man of much younger years, usually sporting six-pack abs, boyish innocence, and a clear willingness to learn. Side effects include: unclean thoughts, raised hemlines, and a deep desire to take on the role of tutor.”

Check out the E Online video here.

Come to think of it, from all that we have heard about Palin, the description seems quite believable. Inasmuch as Levi was sleeping and having a having a baby with the abstinence-only preaching daughter Bristol Palin at the same time, suffice to say that there must have been a lot of sexual tension in Chez Palin.

Scene two involves the allegation that Todd “First Dude” Palin is divorcing the former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska. The Enquirer reports that Todd is “fed up” with the constant scandals surrounding his marriage. The recent book written by author Joe McGinniss, The Rogue: Searching For The Real Sarah Palin reveals that Sarah Palin had a one-night stand with former NBA star Glen Rice just prior to her marriage to Todd Palin as well as a six-month affair with her husband’s business partner, Brad Hanson.

This is certainly “Must See TV” so tune in to every network (except Fox News) this week at prime-time for more salacious details.

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody also too.

The Beverly Hillbillies song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0_XAPku7SgE&feature=related

THE WASSILLA HILLBILLIES – PART 3

(sung to the theme of “The Beverly Hillbillies”)

Come and listen to a story ‘bout a gal named Sarah
Not too many brains but a whole lot of mascara.
Her hair is in a beehive and she has some lipstick too,
She tried to run for V.P. but she didn’t have a clue.

Knowledge that is,   Bush Doctrine?,    Job of V.P. ?

Well the first thing ya know Obama left her in the dust,
So she joined the Tea Party to engage in some blood-lust
She said, “The Johnston family are so dumb that they just drool”
Then daughter Bristol and Levi dropped right on out of school.

Embarrasment that is,   Birth’n Babies,    Quittin’ Jobs.

Well now its time to say good-bye to Sarah and her kin,
The First Dude and his wife have some wounds that need lick’n.
The whole Palin clan now studies the encyclopedia,
So they can handle “Gotcha Questions” from the “lamestream” media.

Couric, that is.   Charlie Gibson,    Tina Fey..

Y’all come back now, y’hear?

GOP Dimwittedness On Display In Bulb Controversy

It seems that not a day can pass without some Republican politician or conservative pundit complaining about Democrats taking away the personal freedoms of Americans. Whenever Democrats propose firearm regulations which would outlaw assault weapons in an attempt to curb the ever-escalating mass-murder sprees on our streets and public places, Republicans decry losing their gun rights. As soon as First Lady Michele Obama proposed serving healthier foods in schools and fast food restaurants in an attempt to curb the epidemic of  dangerous child obesity, Republicans howled about the emergence of a “Nanny-State”. Somehow the Republicans have even twisted the notion that our new health care law’s mandate that individuals purchase health insurance from private insurers somehow places a government bureaucrat between us and our doctors. Really, doesn’t it just maintain and expand the present system of placing a private insurance adjuster between us and our doctors?

Perhaps the craziest example of Republicans complaining about the loss of personal freedoms however, is the impending law which requires that light bulbs be more efficient. As you all know by now, beginning in January 2012, new light bulb efficiency standards will kick-in which will effectively outlaw the incandescent bulb that we have all come to know and love over the last 100 years or so. They will be replaced by those curly mini-fluorescents or some other type of energy efficient bulb yet to be released to the market. The purpose of the new law is to reduce U.S. electricity demand by several percentage points so as to reduce our dependence on foreign oil producing nations and to slow climate change.

But the current crop of Republican politicians, pundits and conservative radio talk show hosts do not see it that way. They consider the lightbulb law to be another example of “a totalitarian Obamal invasion of personal liberty”. The zaniest reaction to the new law comes from the moonbat-crazy Tea Party/Republican Presidential candidate Michele Bachmann. She says,

“The government has no business telling an individual what kind of light bulb to buy…This mandate has sweeping effects on American families and businesses and needs serious consideration before taking effect.”

Indeed, Bachmann even went so far as to introduce a Congressional bill which she calls “The Light Bulb Freedom Of Choice Act” which would repeal the impending law. GOP Presidential candidate Ron Paul has also joined the act by teaming-up with Rep. Joe “You Lie” Barton (R-TX) and 19 other Republican Congressional members to repeal the law. The new GOP Presidential frontrunner Rick Perry went so far as to sign into law an illegal bill claiming that Texas light bulb manufacturers can simply ignore the federal law.

Problem is, Republicans and conservatives alike seem to have collectively forgotten that the new light bulb standards were not President Obama’s or any Democrat’s fault, or even their idea. The new federal law was, in fact, proposed by Republican Rep. Fred Upton (R-MI) and signed into law in 2007 by President George W. Bush. Furthermore, at that time there was not a peep from the GOP and conservative pundits regarding an erosion of personal freedoms. It was only after Barack Obama assumed office that the GOP took a violent leap to the far right and began to consider anything that happens during his administration to be a step down the stairs to certain socialism. Now the GOP’s leaders and Presidential candidates even deny that climate change exists and condemn more energy efficient light bulbs as a direct affront to our nation’s inherent personal rights.

The GOP’s position on energy efficient light bulbs shows how dimwitted (pun intended) and out of touch the conservative right has become.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

AM Radio song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JDiCJkITtes&feature=player_embedded

RIGHT WING RADIO

(sung to the Everclear song “AM Radio”)

Portions of this lame programming are reproduced
By means of electronical transcriptions or tape recordings.

Radio
You can hear that bullshit on the right wing radio

There’s Ann Coulter and Sean Hannity
There’s lots of that Glenn Beck’s crap
Heavy on insanity

It’s simulcast along
The world wide webs

They’re pouring out pitchers full of Kool-Aid
Through the internets grid

Tea-Bagging clowns
On the air waves

Won’t talk to you if you’re black, young or gay

Limbaugh taught ‘em
The EIB chair
Is so toxic and vile
And it is unbalanced and unfair

Yo!
You must listen
To the poison on
That right wing radio (right wing radio, right wing radio)

Yeah… there’s no need for music
On right wing radio (right wing radio)

Savage is without a clue
Steers clear of every single neighborhood
In a state if that state is “Blue”

Malkin
Makes an ungodly sound
Crazy shit she’s into
Cruisin’ with that Glenn Beck clown

These nuts are broadcast across the nation
To the dumb and poor
Who mimic them like apes

They’re all right their at prime-time
Sean Hannity looks fried
Bill O’Reilly and that Sarah P. lie all goddamn night

Don’t lie in bed with the radio on
You will lose your sanity before long
When you hear Glenn Beck and his song

There’s lots of hate
And you can hear it
On that right wing radio (right wing radio, right wing radio)

Yeah… there’s no need for music
On right wing radio (right wing radio)

Listen to Limbaugh say
“Boy…Let’s bring Obama down!”

Oh no, “The Glenn Beck” show again.
I don’t wanna hear that show
Talk about “end times” and socialism, man, he such a fool
Turn it off
(Turn it off, turn it off, turn it off)

Sean Hannity is on at five
I feel like throwing up
When he spins
All that lame jive
Lives in a bubble where he is “the man”
Can’t be trusted
Cuz he lies
Like Glenn Beck and that’s a fact, man

Remember way back in two-thousand-seven
They said Romney and his cohorts
Would be leading us to heaven
If ol’ Rush Limbaugh
Could have had his way
“Operation Chaos”
Would have had Hilary Clinton
On election day
Hey!
Election day!
Hey!
No way!
Hey Rush, go away!

There must be a place we can tell them to go
A real hot place where they don’t have any snow
But they’re sure to have right wing radio

Huh-uh huh-uh huh-uh huh

Yeah, things get real stupid
On those stupid shows
The hosts are really daffy

There’s no need for music
On right wing radio (right wing radio)
There’s no need for music
On right wing radio (right wing radio)
There’s no need for music
On right wing radio (right wing radio, right wing radio)

Make it stop (right wing radio, right wing radio)…It grows old
Make it stop
Reminds me of bad disco
(right wing radio, right wing radio)

Make it stop (right wing radio, right wing radio)…It grows old
Make it stop
Reminds me of bad disco
(right wing radio, right wing radio)

Make it stop (right wing radio, right wing radio)…It grows old
Please make it stop
Reminds me of bad disco
(right wing radio, right wing radio)

Make it stop (right wing radio, right wing radio)…It grows old
Please make it stop
Reminds me of bad disco
(right wing radio, right wing radio)

Make it stop (right wing radio, right wing radio)…It grows old
Please make it stop
Reminds me of bad disco
(right wing radio, right wing radio)

Reminds me of bad disco (right wing radio)
Reminds me of bad disco (right wing radio)
Reminds me of bad disco (right wing radio)
…No I never liked (right wing radio) disco! (right wing radio)
Nooooo (right wing radio) oooooo! (right wing radio)
(right wing radio, right wing radio)
Nooooooo!
(right wing radio, right wing radio)

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 90

Just a few newsworthy items (and comments thereon) that have been making their way through the political universe this past week but may have escaped your attention. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful day!

BREAKING NEWS: If you would like to boycott some products who’s profits fund the Koch Bros’ radical conservative right-wing agenda, The Nation has done some research for you. Here they are: Quilted Northern and Angel Soft toilet paper (seems appropriate doesn’t it?); Brawny and Sparkle paper towels (known to clean up those ugly Koch Bros’ messes); Mardi Gras napkins (good for wiping your mouth after spitting vile lies); Vanity Fair disposable plates (for those who do not like to clean up their own messes) and Dixie Cups (for drinking Conservative Kool Aid).

THIS JUST IN:  Truthout.com reminds us exactly what we will lose if the Tea Party ever gains power:

• Social Security and Medicare
• Medicaid, SCHIP, and other health care programs
• All federal education programs
• All federal antipoverty programs
• Federal disaster relief
• Federal food safety inspections and other food safety programs
• Child labor laws, the minimum wage, overtime, and other labor protections
• Federal civil rights laws

BREAKING NEWS:  House Majority Leader Eric Cantor (R-Va.) warned last Monday that any stimulus spending in President Obama’s  jobs bill will face fierce opposition from Republicans. Eric truly puts the “Can’t” in Cantor.

THIS JUST IN:  In light of the audience and candidate behavior at the last two Republican debates, it is now evident that conservatives are fine with everybody (except unborn babies) dying.

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Put Your Mouth Where Our Money Is” features moonbat-crazy Teapublican presidential candidate Michele Bachmann. Two bioethics professors have offered to pay more than $10,000 for medical records that prove the anecdote (the HPV vaccination cause “mental retardation”) that Bachmann told after Monday night’s Republican presidential debate is true. To date, not unexpectedly, Bachmann has not responded.

BREAKING NEWS:  Speaking of Michele Bachmann, inasmuch as the wild-eyed corndog-scoffing Tea-Bagger had the blatant audacity to utter the outlawed words “mental retardation”, will Sarah Palin return volley with her mandatory rebuke? Don’t hold your breath. Palin has a history of only criticizing Democrats and not Republicans for the offense.

THIS JUST IN: OurFuture.org reports that “Sen. Bernie Sanders, (I-Vt.), today introduced a bill that, if passed by Congress and signed by the President, would insure Social Security’s solvency for the next 75 years—without having to cut a single person’s benefit.”  Sanders’ solution is simple: gradually eliminate the cap on wages subject to the payroll tax starting with people earning more than $250,000.00. This is the guy that should be advising President Obama on economic matters.

BREAKING NEWS:  Wisconsin’s Republican Governor Scott Walker is having a very difficult time. He already faces a recall election after Wisconsin residents voiced their objection to his draconian attack on labor unions. Now, just this week, the FBI raided the home of one of his former top aides in what is presumed to be an investigation of aides campaigning for Walker on the taxpayer dollar and perhaps also some “pay to play”. Aah Scott Walker, we hardly knew ye!

THIS JUST IN:  Massachusetts Democrats have reason to celebrate. Teapublican Sen. Scott “Nudey” Brown finally has a serious opponent to his 2012 re-election efforts. Elizabeth Warren, the Harvard Law School professor, consumer advocate and architect of the newly formed Consumer Financial Protection Bureau has announced her candidacy for Ted Kennedy’s senate seat. The recapturing by Democrats of that seat would go a long way towards the party retaining its majority status in that congressional chamber. Scott Brown and his anti-middle class stance is not a good fit for true-blue Massachusetts.  Please consider making a donation to Elizabeth Warren’s campaign, here.

GO PACKERS!!!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Downtown song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sku-1hqA5xw

SCOTT BROWN

(sung to the Petula Clark song “Downtown”)

If Mass. is your home
And you are full of baloney,
You must surely be – Scott Brown
You have your worries,
With no clothes in snow flurries
You’re a nudist boy – Scott Brown

You’re popular in the woods but were voteless in the city
Your term is only two years Scott, and isn’t that a pity?
You’re sure to lose

You’ve got some Mitt Romney hair
But it grows down on your buttocks, we’ve seen when you’re bare, and so
Scott Brown – politics of hate when you’re
Scott Brown – voted right out the door
Scott Brown – private life’s waiting for you
(Scott Brown, Scott Brown)

Don’t wear a frown
As the Tea-Baggers surround you
They are friends not foes – Scott Brown
The “Party of No”
Is just the place that they go to
Where their hatred grows – Scott Brown

Just charm them with the rhythm of your naked bossanova
They’ll be bare-assed with you too before the night is over
Happy again

They’ll take off their underwear
Then they’ll forget all their troubles, forget all their cares like you,
Scott Brown – not erudite or bright
Scott Brown – every nudist’s delight
Scott Brown – you’re gonna be alright now
(Scott Brown, Scott Brown, Scott Brown)

(Scott Brown, Scott Brown)

And you might find that your behind will help ingratiate you
With Larry Craig who loves the view and has a gentle hand to
Guide you along

You two would make quite a pair
You can forget all your troubles, forget all your cares dear bro
Scott Brown – you’ll get kicked out the door
Scott Brown – Won’t take a minute more
Scott Brown – Private life’s waiting for you

Scott Brown (Scott Brown) Scott Brown (Scott Brown)
Scott Brown (Scott Brown) Scott Brown (Scott Brown)
(repeat and fade out)