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Sarah Palin And Her Devil Dogs (Update)

Lynnrockets will continue with some Halloween song parodies this spooky week. Have fun. Now, let’s get to it…

Sometimes we bloggers have to leave it to the professionals to sum things up in a truly enlightening way. Such is the case today for Lynnrockets. Please enjoy some excerpts from an article by Diane Roberts of the UK Guardian which “tells it like it is” regarding Sarah Palin, the “Mama Grizzlies” and the Tea Party. When you are finished, please read the whole article here.

“Former governor Sarah Palin says she’s a feminist, “Mama Grizzly”. She supports female candidates such as Sharron Angle and Christine O’Donnell, endorsing them, stumping for them, helping them to raise money. Along with Congresswoman Michele Bachmann, Fox News regulars Liz Cheney and Ann Coulter, Sarah Palin gathers Tea Party women under the big bearskin tent of “conservative feminism”.

Precisely what “conservative feminism” embraces is not clear – it sounds like an oxymoron in the vein of ”jumbo shrimp” or “creation science”. Clearly, “conservative feminism” doesn’t mean support for working mothers: Bachmann voted against a bill that would allow up to four weeks’ maternity leave for federal employees. It doesn’t mean equal pay for equal work: Palin opposed the Lilly Ledbetter Act on the grounds it would be “a boon for trial lawyers”.

Equal opportunity doesn’t seem to matter much to them: Christine O’Donnell has said that she thinks women impede the combat readiness of the American military. For all that conservatives such as Tammy Bruce insist the right is more “tolerant” than the left, the likes of Palin, O’Donnell and Angle regularly slam “the gay agenda”. Though they snarl about protecting their “cubs”, they want to repeal the healthcare act, which protects children with pre-existing conditions from being denied insurance. And it sure doesn’t mean safeguarding a woman’s right to control her own body – they are so anti-abortion that they believe that a victim of rape should be forced to carry the child to term.

The reactionary end of the Republican party seems to be as dumb as a bag of hammers and proud of it. Jim DeMint, the senator from South Carolina and Tea Party godfather, wondered out loud if maybe gay men and single women who dare to have sex shouldn’t be barred from teaching in public schools. At a recent Delaware senate candidates’ debate, Christine O’Donnell was incredulous that the doctrine of separation of church and state was to be found in first amendment to the US constitution.

Most Tea Partiers don’t hold with evolution and don’t ”believe” in climate change, either. A recent New York Times story quoted various rightwingers calling it a “lie” and a “hoax”. One man said he “based his view on the preaching of Rush Limbaugh and the teaching of scripture”.

You’d have thought we had enough of arrogant stupidity in the Bush years. These people are not pro-woman. They say they want to take the country back; evidently, they mean back to when abortion was illegal, to when contraception was hard to get hold of, to a world of rigid gender roles and women being judged on how they look, back to when men were men and women were ladies.

The she-bears and their fellow travellers don’t do sisterhood. ”Conservative feminism” has nothing to do with empowering women in general, and everything to do with empowering these women in particular. They’ve ripped language away from meaning: they say they are pro-woman, but their policies are decidedly anti. As George Orwell taught us, war is not peace, and ignorance is not strength.”

Great article wouldn’t you say? Lynnrockets believes Ms. Roberts put it best when she says, “The Tea Party brand of ‘conservative feminism’ is a fraud. These people are not pro-women but reactionary – and really dumb.”

So, now that we have shown that even those “across the pond” believe that Sarah Palin and her ilk have the devil in their hearts, let’s have a song.

UPDATE

Fox News‘ Joe Scarborough seems to echo the UK Guardian. On his program “Morning Joe” this morning, Scarborough intoned that if only Sarah Palin hadn’t promoted the likes of Sharron Angle and Christine O’Donnell, Republicans would be on the verge of winning the Senate majority.  That was Joe Scarborough’s thesis on Morning Joe today, culminating in Scarborough saying that he hopes Sarah Palin “is proud of herself” for having killed the GOP’s chances. He also tried to ward off those oh-so-predictable Palinbot attacks by saying, “right-wing freaks, don’t email me going “you’re a RINO.”

Wow, is their one semi-sane voice on Fox?

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Devil In Her Heart song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vl9juuM-GA0

DEVIL IN HER HEART

(sung to the Beatles song “Devil In Her Heart”)

She’s got the devil in her heart
But the rednecks fantasize
That Palin is a sleazy tart
But her politics just chill me

Her smirking glances
Vocal dances
She’s a lipstick wearing pig
She’s just so flirty
Politics dirty
She’s a wicked entity

She’s got the devil in her heart
And some tricks are up her sleeve
Palin’s a dime store work of art
A web of lies she will weave

I’ll bet she leaves that Alaskan winter snow
She’ll board a bus to be with Plumber Joe
Palin is quirky
Her future’s murky
Like the G.O.P.’s

She’s got the devil in her heart
I know, know, know Palin will deceive
Next she’ll be working at K-Mart
Cuz today she is naïve

Sarah’s stance is to raise finances
From her writing debut
She’s just as perky
As fresh killed turkey
As we witnessed on TV

She’s got the devil in her heart
I know, know, know  and I do believe
She fell right off the donkey cart
Sarah should be on sick leave

She’s got the devil in her heart
And she’s no angel we can see
She’s got the devil in her heart
No, she’s no angel we can see

Sarah Palin And Her Devil Dogs

Lynnrockets will continue with some Halloween song parodies this spooky week. Have fun. Now, let’s get to it…

Sometimes we bloggers have to leave it to the professionals to sum things up in a truly enlightening way. Such is the case today for Lynnrockets. Please enjoy some excerpts from an article by Diane Roberts of the UK Guardian which “tells it like it is” regarding Sarah Palin, the “Mama Grizzlies” and the Tea Party. When you are finished, please read the whole article here.

“Former governor Sarah Palin says she’s a feminist, “Mama Grizzly”. She supports female candidates such as Sharron Angle and Christine O’Donnell, endorsing them, stumping for them, helping them to raise money. Along with Congresswoman Michele Bachmann, Fox News regulars Liz Cheney and Ann Coulter, Sarah Palin gathers Tea Party women under the big bearskin tent of “conservative feminism”.

Precisely what “conservative feminism” embraces is not clear – it sounds like an oxymoron in the vein of “jumbo shrimp” or “creation science”. Clearly, “conservative feminism” doesn’t mean support for working mothers: Bachmann voted against a bill that would allow up to four weeks’ maternity leave for federal employees. It doesn’t mean equal pay for equal work: Palin opposed the Lilly Ledbetter Act on the grounds it would be “a boon for trial lawyers”.

Equal opportunity doesn’t seem to matter much to them: Christine O’Donnell has said that she thinks women impede the combat readiness of the American military. For all that conservatives such as Tammy Bruce insist the right is more “tolerant” than the left, the likes of Palin, O’Donnell and Angle regularly slam “the gay agenda”. Though they snarl about protecting their “cubs”, they want to repeal the healthcare act, which protects children with pre-existing conditions from being denied insurance. And it sure doesn’t mean safeguarding a woman’s right to control her own body – they are so anti-abortion that they believe that a victim of rape should be forced to carry the child to term.

The reactionary end of the Republican party seems to be as dumb as a bag of hammers and proud of it. Jim DeMint, the senator from South Carolina and Tea Party godfather, wondered out loud if maybe gay men and single women who dare to have sex shouldn’t be barred from teaching in public schools. At a recent Delaware senate candidates’ debate, Christine O’Donnell was incredulous that the doctrine of separation of church and state was to be found in first amendment to the US constitution.

Most Tea Partiers don’t hold with evolution and don’t “believe” in climate change, either. A recent New York Times story quoted various rightwingers calling it a “lie” and a “hoax”. One man said he “based his view on the preaching of Rush Limbaugh and the teaching of scripture”.

You’d have thought we had enough of arrogant stupidity in the Bush years. These people are not pro-woman. They say they want to take the country back; evidently, they mean back to when abortion was illegal, to when contraception was hard to get hold of, to a world of rigid gender roles and women being judged on how they look, back to when men were men and women were ladies.

The she-bears and their fellow travellers don’t do sisterhood. “Conservative feminism” has nothing to do with empowering women in general, and everything to do with empowering these women in particular. They’ve ripped language away from meaning: they say they are pro-woman, but their policies are decidedly anti. As George Orwell taught us, war is not peace, and ignorance is not strength.”

Great article wouldn’t you say? Lynnrockets believes Ms. Roberts put it best when she says, “The Tea Party brand of ‘conservative feminism’ is a fraud. These people are not pro-women but reactionary – and really dumb.”

So, now that we have shown that even those “across the pond” believe that Sarah Palin and her ilk have the devil in their hearts, let’s have a song.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Devil In Her Heart song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vl9juuM-GA0

DEVIL IN HER HEART

(sung to the Beatles song “Devil In Her Heart”)

She’s got the devil in her heart
But the rednecks fantasize
That Palin is a sleazy tart
But her politics just chill me

Her smirking glances
Vocal dances
She’s a lipstick wearing pig
She’s just so flirty
Politics dirty
She’s a wicked entity

She’s got the devil in her heart
And some tricks are up her sleeve
Palin’s a dime store work of art
A web of lies she will weave

I’ll bet she leaves that Alaskan winter snow
She’ll board a bus to be with Plumber Joe
Palin is quirky
Her future’s murky
Like the G.O.P.’s

She’s got the devil in her heart
I know, know, know Palin will deceive
Next she’ll be working at K-Mart
Cuz today she is naïve

Sarah’s stance is to raise finances
From her writing debut
She’s just as perky
As fresh killed turkey
As we witnessed on TV

She’s got the devil in her heart
I know, know, know  and I do believe
She fell right off the donkey cart
Sarah should be on sick leave

She’s got the devil in her heart
And she’s no angel we can see
She’s got the devil in her heart
No, she’s no angel we can see

Whatever Happened To Baby-Cheney?

Liz "Mini-Me" Cheney and Dick "Dr. Evil" Cheney

Just when you thought that you had heard the last from former Vice President and Torturer-in-Chief Dick Cheney’s daughter, up pops her venomous head. On Wednesday, Liz Cheney donned her horn-ensconced battle helmet and made one of the most idiotic hawk-like pronouncements in recent history. It was an honest to goodness head-scratcher.

Liz Cheney’s statement followed a report in The Washington Post which quoted a portion of journalist Bob Woodward’s new book detailing the Obama administration’s deliberations over U.S. strategy in Afghanistan and more specifically with the threat of future terrorist attacks on American soil. Obama told Woodward,

“We can absorb a terrorist attack. We’ll do everything we can to prevent it, but even a 9/11, even the biggest attack ever . . . we absorbed it and we are stronger,”

Let’s disect and analyze what Obama said. He explained that the United States is strong enough to survive any type of terrorist attack including one on the scale of the 9/11 attacks. Indeed, he warned any future terrorists that not only will his administration “do everything we can to prevent it”, but he also explained that even the 9/11 attacks did not topple the government and we are now an even stronger and more committed nation in the battle against terrorism. That sounds like a pretty strong warning addressed to any future would-be terrorists, doesn’t it?

Well, it sounds like that to any sane person, but as we know, Liz Cheney has proven to be reality challenged. Remember, this is the woman that still contends that “waterboarding” is both safe and legal. So, what was Liz Cheney’s take on President Obama’s quote? She said that the…

“comment suggests an alarming fatalism on the part of President Obama and his administration. Once again the President seems either unwilling or unable to do what it takes to keep this nation safe. The President owes the American people an explanation.”

The President expressed “an alarming fatalism”? He is “either unwilling or unable to do what it takes to keep this nation safe”? Liz Cheney is a certifiable crazy woman! If memory serves us correctly, wasn’t it her father’s administration that was actually either “unwilling or unable” to keep the nation safe during the nine month’s leading up to and including September 11, 2001? Apparently in Cheney-World you are expressing fatalism and not safeguarding your nation as President if you threaten any potential would-be terrorists with the warning that the United States withstood the worst attack they could conjure up and is even stronger and more committed to fight back since that moment. But you are blameless and strong if your administration was actually in power and was “either unwilling or unable to do what it takes to keep this nation safe” when the country was actually attacked by terrorists. That reasoning is so warped that it is almost Palinesque.

Where was the young Cheney’s outrage when shortly after the actual 9/11 attacks, then-President Bush actually goaded any future terrorists to “Bring it On!”? He may as well have added, “I double dare ya!” Honestly, where was Liz Cheney and her criticism then? Bush did not express a sense of fatalism that there might be another attack. Instead, he actually enticed another terrorist attack. But Little-Liz Cheney was silent.

If I were a supporter or donated to Cheney’s “Keep America Safe” foundation, at this point I would begin questioning my own sanity.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s very topical song parody.

Welcome To My Nightmare song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3OGM4FdpJFc

WELCOME TO MY NIGHTMARE

(sung to the Alice Cooper song “Welcome To My Nightmare”)

Welcome to my nightmare
You ain’t seen nothin’ like it
I think you’re gonna feel
Something’s wrong

A cerebral vacation
Republicans need sedation
Their mouths will be filled with foam
Before too long

Welcome to my nightmare, ohh

Welcome to my breakdown
Does Lizzie Cheney scare you?
That’s just the way they are
In Red State towns

They sweat and laugh and scream there
Mann Coulter’s their wet dream there
He really makes them feel
Right at home, there

Welcome to my breakdown, ohh
You’re welcome to my nightmare, yeah

(musical interlude)

Welcome to my nightmare
You know I just don’t like it
G.O.P. makes me feel
I don’t belong

They lie and shout and scream there
And Palin is their queen there
They all giggle and squeal
At her throne, there

Welcome to my nightmare, ohh
Welcome to my breakdown
Yeah!

(great instrumental fade out)

Mother’s Day Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 36

Happy Mother’s Day to all of you that may be mothers. For the rest of you, please do something nice for your own mothers on her special day. You have no way of knowing how many more of these days you will have the opportunity to share together. Make the most of all of them.

OK, no more proselytizing. Let’s have some fun. Rather than the usual recap of newsworthy events from the last week, today’s post will provide a list of appropriate Mother’s Day gifts for a bunch of well known conservative women. Please feel free to add to the list in the comment section. Let’s roll…

Barbara Bush:  A “do over” regarding son George W.

Ann Coulter: A definitive male or female sexual status.

Carrie Jean Prejean:  A map of the United States.

Condoleezza Rice: A “Where’s Condi?” placemat.

Michelle Malkin:  Non-”Anchor-Baby” status.

Ohio Rep. Jean Schmidt:  An official “Birther” T-shirt.

Laura Bush: A Stepford Sister.

Conservative radio pundit Laura Ingraham: A more feminine voice.

Congressional candidate Carly Fiorina: An endorsement from Hewlett Packard directors and shareholders.

Greta Van Susteren:  A contestant’s spot on tv’s Extreme Makeover.

Arizona Governor Jan Brewer:  An all expenses paid trip to Mexico.

Liz Cheney:  A chance to show her courage via a stint in the U.S. Army.

Michele Bachmann:  An unlimited prescription of Thorazine.

Elizabeth Hasselbeck:  Employment with Fox News.

Bristol Palin:  A time machine.

Sarah Palin: An English/Palin – Palin/ English dictionary.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

American Woman song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A9o8SUSy_tY

REPUBLICAN WOMEN

(sung to the Guess Who song “American Woman”)

Republican women they’ve all lost their minds
Republican women, they’ve really lost their minds
Republican women they’ve all lost their minds
Republican women they’ve all lost their minds

Say “R”, say “E”, say “P”
Say “L”, say “I”, say “C”
Say “A” “N”

Republican women they’ve all lost their minds
Republican women they’ve all lost their minds
Republican women they’ve all lost their minds

Republican women, stay away from me
Republican women, from the G.O.P.
You are someone I’ll just ignore
I don’t wanna see your face no more
I got more important things to do
And I will never be sold on you

Now women, I said stay away

Republican women, listen what I say

Republican women, have no dignity
Republican women, and their tea-parties
Like I told you the time before
Michele Bachmann is just a bore
Mann Coulter I do despise
Malkin has a lazy eye
Now women, I said get away
Republican women, listen what I say

Republican women, it’s clear as day
Republican women, they’re no Tina Fey
Talk about defending our shores
Their husbands prefer time with whores
Jean Schmidt always makes a scene
Sarah Palin thinks she’s queen
Mary Matalin’s hypnotized
Ingraham’s mouth is super-sized
Now women, from the G.O.P.
Republican women, mama let me be

Go, gotta get away, gotta get away
Now go go go
Gonna leave you, women
Gonna leave you, women
Bye-bye
Bye-bye
Bye-bye
Bye-bye
You’re no good for me
I’m no good for you
Gonna look you right in the eye.
Tell you what I’m gonna do
You know I’m gonna leave
You know I’m gonna go
You know I’m gonna leave
You know I’m gonna go, women
I’m gonna leave, women
Goodbye, Republican women

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 24

Just a few noteworthy news stories and comments thereon that have been orbiting the galaxies this past week.

BREAKING NEWS: There was an interesting moment on MSNBC’s Hardball With Chris Matthews this week. The guest was Republican strategist Todd Harris. He was asked by Matthews to name just one thing that the Republican party has done for the country in the last 15 to 20 years. He could not come up with one thing.

MATTHEWS: I just wanted to get the Republican bragging points straight here. So the Republican Party has kept us safe, except for 9/11. Is that the argument? No, really, because you had the worst attack on the American homeland in history, but you`re bragging about your ability to defend the country because you say — you defended America, except for 9/11. That`s your defense, right?

HARRIS: Look, Chris…

MATTHEWS: That`s the bragging point of the Republican Party for the last — I asked you to name one thing they`ve done for this country in 15 to 20 years. I`ll keep going back further. And you`re having a hard time giving me an answer. What has the Republican Party…

HARRIS: No, no. I`m…

MATTHEWS: … done for the country?

HARRIS: I`m not…

MATTHEWS: I`m just — it`s a good question.

HARRIS: Chris, I`m not having…

MCMAHON: Squandered the surplus.

HARRIS: … a hard time giving you an answer.

MCMAHON: Don`t forget, squandered the surplus.

HARRIS: When I decide to write a book about the history of the last 20 years of the Republican Party, I`ll be happy to talk to you about that.

MATTHEWS: No, just give me one…

HARRIS: My job is to win elections — my job is to…

MATTHEWS: Just give me one.

HARRIS: … win elections in 2010.

MATTHEWS: OK.

HARRIS: And I`m going to keep my eye on the ball.

MCMAHON: He doesn`t have one. He doesn`t have one!

Yikes. Harris provided a whole lotta nuthin’.

THIS JUST IN: John Michael Farren, who served as deputy legal counsel to President George W. Bush, has been charged with strangulation and attempted murder after allegedly choking his wife and beating her with a flashlight. It is believed that Farren felt pressure to one-up Dick Cheney’s crime of shooting his friend in the face.

BREAKING NEWS: If the mainstream media is truly liberal, it has done a good job of hiding that fact this week. Most every televised news program at some point this week drew attention to Democratic Party Senators Chris Dodd and Byron Dorgan’s announced retirements and concluded that the party is in real trouble because of the number of vacated seats. The problem is that the media has failed to report the true facts. Those facts are that the Republicans have six Senate incumbents that are not seeking re-election (compared to the two aforementioned Democrats) and fourteen House members doing the same (compared to ten Democrats). Final score: Republicans vacating twenty congressional seats and Democrats vacating twelve. Looks like the Republicans have some real trouble of their own.

THIS JUST IN: Would someone please tell Liz Cheney that nobody cares what she has to say. This week the daughter of the former face-shooter in chief, Dick Cheney decided that she should give her opinion on how the Obama administration should handle terrorism. She should be reminded that she has absolutely no qualifications to comment on that subject.  She would be better served by accompanying the Bush twins on the party scene. Then again, she is probably not very fun to be around.

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s edition of “Republicans Eating Their Young” features Republican National Committee chairman Michael Steele and wealthy Republican contributors. It appears that the contributors’ lack of faith in Steele is manifesting itself in a dearth of contributions to the RNC. Steele has responded to his Republican critics as follows in an ABC interview:

I’m telling them and I’m looking them in the eye and say I’ve had enough of it. If you don’t want me in the job, fire me. But until then, shut up. Get with the program or get out of the way.

Sounds like the Republican Party is in need of an intervention.

THIS JUST IN: Does anyone else find it a little ironic that although Hanes has terminated actor Charlie Sheen from his endorsement contract as the result of his pending spousal abuse charges, the underwear manufacturer continues to sell “wife-beater” undershirts?

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s edition of “Don’t Sugar Coat It, Go Ahead And Tell Us How You Really Feel” features Andrew Sullivan of The Atlantic.com who says of Sarah Palin,

But it became almost immediately clear that she knew nothing about anything, had a private life that you usually see hashed out on Judge Judy, covered up her total lack of governing competence with so many lies they were hard to keep track of, and had next-to-no knowledge of any domestic or foreign policy issues, including energy. Isn’t that enough to regard her nomination as a total farce, the biggest insult ever delivered to voters since … well, Dan Quayle, who was far more informed, smart and serious than Palin ever was.

The idea that this person was qualified to run a country in one of its most serious crises, economically and militarily, beggars belief. The recklessness it revealed in McCain showed that he too was simply unqualified for high office, gambling with the core security of the US for cheap tactical advantage.

THIS JUST IN: Vice President Joe O’Biden says to the unemployed Sarah Palin, “Stay away from me lucky charms!” More on the sorry former ex-quitting governor of Alaska tonight on 60 Minutes which will feature a scathing synopsis of the 2008 Palin campaign by McCain campaign official Steve Schmidt.

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s edition of “We Can’t Seem To Get Our Heads Out Of Our Asses” features those dimwitted curmudgeons known as Tea-Baggers. In December 2009, the group known as “Tea Party Support” announced the it would be sponsoring the National Conservative Symposium from January 22 – 24 in San Antonio, Texas. The speaker lineup included Sarah Palin, Sean Hannity, Michelle Malkin and Laura Ingraham. The event was reported to be a symposium for “true” conservatives and would compete directly with the more celebrated annual CPAC conference which Palin has elected to shun. The price for attendance at the Tea Party event was announced to be $ 749.00.

Unfortunately, the group ran into a little trouble on the way to Texas. The event has now been canceled with no reason for cancellation announced by the group. This is noteworthy because it is the first event that has quit on Sarah Palin before she could quit on it. The cancellation also marks the most recent disaster of the Tea-Bagging campaign. Their “Die-In” event in Washington last December was remarkable only for its lack of attendance and they cannot seem to define what the heck their planned January 20th “strike” or “boycott” is supposed to be. Somebody better read their tea leaves and soon.

OOPS, ALMOST FORGOT: Here We Go Packers, Here We Go !!!

THIS JUST IN: This week’s edition of “Honesty Impaired Fox News Hosts” features Sean “The Cowardly Waterboarding Evader” Hannity. His most recent lie is that the CIA is diverting counter terrorism resources in an attempt to prove the existence of global warming. Hannity said,

The CIA director redirects manpower to monitor climate change, but is it all the cost — at the cost of our security, your security, your family’s security? In the wake of the attempted Christmas Day terror attack, you would think the spies at the CIA, that they would have their hands full securing America. But, believe it or not, assets at Langley are being used for other projects.

Hannity then quoted a National Center For Public Policy Research (NCPPR) press release which said,

As terrorists continue to infiltrate America, the Obama Administration is tasking some of our nation’s most elite intelligence-gathering agencies to divert their resources to environmental scientists researching global warming.

Of course Hannity failed to disclose that the NCPPR is sponsored and funded by the global warming denying Exxon Oil Company. Additionally, he failed to provide the CIA’s response to the ridiculous claim which is,

The monitoring program has little or no impact on regular intelligence gathering, federal officials said, but instead releases secret information already collected or takes advantage of opportunities to record environmental data when classified sensors are otherwise idle or passing over wilderness.

That is OK Mr. Hannity. Do not let the facts get in the way of a good lie. You just go on living in your Faux News fantasy world.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Dear Mr. Fantasy song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vxVlN-LzIks

DEAR, MR. HANNITY

(sung to the Traffic song “Dear, Mr. Fantasy”)

Dear, Mr. Hannity you are a goon
Some even say you are daffy
Your nightly show is just like a cartoon
Hit that bong, chug that jar
Getting happy
You are the one that just makes us all laugh
Unlike Glenn Beck, you don’t go to tears
You should be sad that you do not have your gonads
You could face waterboarding fears

Oooo Ahhhhh
Oooo Ahhhhh
Oooo Ahhhhh
Oooo Ahhhhh Ahhhhh

Dear Mr. Hannity you’re no Brit Hume
Although, he too is unhappy
Insanity prevails throughout Fox News
Always wrong, that you are
Oh so crappy
Yeah, yeah

(musical interlude)

Dear Mr. Hannity  go back to your room
That would just make us all happy
Do anything, take us out of our gloom
Sing a song, play guitar
Make it snappy
We all just watch you to have a good laugh
We haven’t laughed so hard in ten years
You are one sad excuse for a real college grad
Just like all of your poor Fox News peers

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 20

Just a few noteworthy news stories that have been careening around the stratosphere this week.

BREAKING NEWS:  You have to love MSNBC‘s Andrea Mitchell. On her television program, Andrea Mitchell Reports last week she had Republican National Committee Chairman, Michael Steele as a guest. The topic was Sarah Palin and whether she has the political acumen to run for national office. When Steele answered in the affirmative and stated that she was a “successful governor”, Mitchell stopped him in his tracks and reminded him that she quit that position halfway through her first term. Good for you, Ms. Mitchell.

THIS JUST IN:  From the “Only In Massachusetts” category we have Charlie Baker, one of two Republican candidates for governor announcing this week that he has selected an openly gay Republican running mate. You see, in the Bay State even the conservatives are liberal.

BREAKING NEWS:  The former ex-quitting CNN talk host Lou Dobbs announced on former senator Fred Thompson’s radio show last Monday that he is strongly considering running for President. Our question to Mr. Dobbs is, “President of what? Maybe the He-Man Immigrant Hating Club?” Seriously though, we really hope that he does run as a third party candidate for no other reason than to further splinter the ever dwindling Republican Party.

THIS JUST IN: Liz Cheney took a big slapdown this week. The daughter of the former Vice President and Face Shooter in Chief, Dick Cheney runs a group known as “Keep America Safe.” She released a short documentary film in which she profiles a few residents of Standish, Michigan that claim that they are against any Guantanamo Bay prisoners being held in the maximum security prison in their town. Problem is, Standish city manager Michael Moran says that the community is strongly in favor of housing the detainees so as to repopulate the prison and bring jobs back to the city. He dismissed Cheney’s efforts as, “fearmongering.” Gee, anyone surprised that a Cheney might be involved in fearmongering?

BREAKING NEWS:  Fox News was once again caught using a little fuzzy math this week. The Fox Chicago television station displayed a graph which shows that 193% of persons polled believe that Huckabee, Romney and Palin should be president. You read that correctly, 193%.

THIS JUST IN: Sherry Johnston, the mother of Levi Johnston (the once and future son-in-law of Sarah Palin) was sentenced to three years in prison as the result of her conviction for dealing Oxy-Contin. The sentence seems a little harsh. Couldn’t they just have arranged for Alaskan state trooper Mike Wooten (estranged brother-in-law of Sarah Palin) to tazer her?

BREAKING NEWS: Fox News‘ Greta Van Sasquatch had Karl Rove as a guest on her show this week. The topic of discussion was Sarah Palin’s book and both of them were gushing over the wonderful writing contained therein. Van Sasquatch then asked Rove how Palin should deal with crazy rumors like the ones surrounding the birth of baby Trigg. They both agreed that Palin handles such rumors in the best way possible which is to ignore them. That statement should lead everyone to doubt that either of them has even read the book that they were praising. Did neither Rove nor Van Sasquatch realize that Palin did not ignore the Trigg story but rather dedicated lengthy passages in her book to just that subject. Van Sasquatch then said that Barack Obama was lucky that he did not have to face such unwarranted rumors. Does Greta live on another planet? Does she not remember the Birthers and those others that claimed the President is a secret Muslim? Fox News and its commentators simply have no credibility.

THIS JUST IN:  It was revealed this week that Republican John Boehner’s (pronounced, “boner”) PAC spent 83 thousand dollars for his golf outings last year. I wonder how the fiscally conservative Republicans’ unemployed constituents feel about that lavish lifestyle of the rich and famous?

BREAKING NEWS:  This week the Anti Defamation League named Fox News‘ Glenn Beck as the nation’s ‘Fearmongerer In Chief.” Were there any other candidates?

Yes indeed, the reich-wing Republican world is a scary place. So scary in fact, that it inspired today’s song parody. Please enjoy.

Remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.

Welcome To My Nightmare song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3OGM4FdpJFc

WELCOME TO MY NIGHTMARE

(sung to the Alice Cooper song “Welcome To My Nightmare”)

Welcome to my nightmare
You ain’t seen nothin’ like it
I think you’re gonna feel
Something’s wrong

A cerebral vacation
Republicans need sedation
Their mouths will be filled with foam
Before too long

Welcome to my nightmare, ohh

Welcome to my breakdown
Does Sarah Palin scare you?
That’s just the way they are
In Red State towns

They sweat and laugh and scream there
Mann Coulter’s their wet dream there
He really makes them feel
Right at home, there

Welcome to my breakdown, ohh
You’re welcome to my nightmare, yeah

(musical interlude)

Welcome to my nightmare
You know I just don’t like it
G.O.P. makes me feel
I don’t belong

They lie and shout and scream there
And Palin is their queen there
They all giggle and squeal
At her throne, there

Welcome to my nightmare, ohh
Welcome to my breakdown
Yeah!

(great instrumental fade out)

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