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New Poll Reveals Americans Want Palin “To Sit Down and Shut Up”

Palin is the Poll Slider

Despite her intention to do the opposite which she expressed last night during her interview with Sean Hannity, a majority of Americans want Sarah Palin “to sit down and shut up.” According to the most recent USA TODAY/Gallup survey, Sarah Palin’s favorable rating has dipped to its lowest level since she joined the 2008 Republican presidential ticket and became a household name. CNN reports that it has dropped to a stunningly low 38 percent while her unfavorable rating has risen to 53 percent. Gallup reports the 38 percent is a new low when it comes to the percentage of Americans who give the former Alaska governor a thumbs up. The 53 percent who dislike Palin is also a new high in Gallup polling. A similar poll in July found 44 percent of Americans viewed her favorably while 47 percent did not. The poll was conducted on January 8th through the 10th.

In contrast, a CNN/Opinion Research Corporation survey released Tuesday reveals that President Barack Obama’s approval rating is up five points since December as a growing number of Americans consider him a strong leader who is tough enough to handle a crisis. Fifty-three percent of people questioned in the poll approve of how Obama’s handling his duties in the White House, up from 48 percent in a CNN poll that was conducted last month. Obama’s approval rating among independents has grown from 41 percent in December to 56 percent now. The survey also indicates that 59 percent of the public now thinks the president is tough enough to handle a crisis – up six points from last year – and 57 percent now consider him a strong and decisive leader – a four-point gain.

As for Sarah Palin, during her televised interview with Fox News‘ Hannity,  she said, “I am not ready to make an announcement about what my political future is going to be. But I will tell you … I am not going to sit down. I am not going to shut up,” Well, the Queen of Quit may not yet be ready to make an announcement but the American people have done so in a loud and clear manner. Their message? “Sarah Palin has no political future.”

Palin has also just received some sobering advice from other influential Republicans. Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich says the former ex-quitting half-term governor of Alaska should “slow down.” While on ABC‘s “Good Morning America” Tuesday, Gingrich said a string of Palin’s recent statements indicate she needs to “be more careful and think through what she’s saying and how she’s saying it.” He also said, “There’s no question that she has become more controversial.”

Gingich’e remarks follow closely on the heels of New Jersey Governor Chris Christie, who told the New York Times Palin needs to engage with the media and voters in settings less staged than those she currently utilizes (i.e Fox News, Facebook and Twitter).

Is that the proverbial “fat lady” that we can hear singing? If so, stick a fork in Sarah Palin because she is toast.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Low Rider song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ro4yhp9L6Ok

POLL SLIDER

(sung to the War song “Low Rider”)

All my friends know the poll slider
The poll slider is a little liar

The poll slider slips a little lower
Poll slider couldn’t be much slower

Hey!

Poll Slider is facing defeat, yeah
Poll Slider is gonna be beat, yeah

Poll slider is outta gas now
The poll slider is on her ass

Better get a grip, better get a grip
She is not the one to be
Better get a grip, better get a grip
She’s shunned by the G.O.P.

SPECIAL NOTICE:

Making a Difference in Anchorage

Alaskans are the people who seem to know Sarah Palin best, and object to her most.  Democrats, Independents, and Republicans are each susceptible to PDS (Palin Derangement Syndrome).  Hope is coming to Alaska.  Malia Litman, blogger at malialitman.wordpress.com and author of The Ignorance Virtues of Sarah Palin: A Humorous Refudiation of the Half-Term Ex-Governor  will be at Borders at 1100 E. Dimond Blvd, Anchorage on Sat. Jan. 22nd at 2:00.  Malia will give a presentation and sign books, guaranteed to provide much needed relief for PDS.  If you are one of the unfortunate Americans afflicted with this disability condition, come to Borders on Saturday.  Together we can find comfort and therapeutic relief for our ailment.  Please join Malia.

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Palin To Receive “Just Desserts” For Attacks Against First Lady?

One is smart and one's a tart!

As was revealed last week, three national polls indicate that in a head-to-head match-up against Barack Obama for the 2012 Presidency, Palin would be shellacked. Each of those polls showed Obama winning by double digits with one poll giving him a whopping 22 point advantage. Palin admitted on Friday’s episode of Good Morning America that the poll results were “lousy”.

So what does the “Queen of Quit” do in an attempt to rehabilitate her blemished image? Does she “reload not retreat” and continue with her attacks against the President? Of course not. She now realizes that that tactic is failing. Consequently, the ex-former, quitting, half-term Governor of Alaska has set her sights on a different target. She can’t hurt the President personally, so she has now initiated a cat-fight and turned on his wife, the First Lady. Meow!

Is Palin unaware that Michelle Obama enjoys the highest positive ratings of just about anybody in the public eye? That means that it would be even more difficult to tarnish her public image than that of the President’s. Moreover, Palin has elected to criticize Michelle Obama’s signature public policy mission which is to educate families and children about the negative effects of obesity and help them to choose a more healthy diet. A sane rational person might deduce that the First Lady’s mission is both beneficial to the general health of our nation and wildly popular with parents who must compete on a daily basis with massive corporations touting sugar and fat laden foods that are tantamount to a heart attack in a box. A sane rational person might understand that obesity is pervasive as is evidenced by reality television shows such as “The Biggest Loser”. A sane rational person would also connect the dots and understand that a healthier population would help bring down the skyrocketing costs of medical treatment which are handcuffing our nation. A sane rational person, at the very least, would realize that promoting a healthy diet is not a bad thing. Sarah Palin however, is not a sane rational person.

In a blatant swipe at Ms. Obama in Sunday’s episode of her un-reality television show, “Sarah Palin’s Alaska”, Palin was shown making s’mores and she proclaims the marshmallow and chocolate treat is “in honor of Michelle Obama, who said the other day we should not have dessert.” Of course that is not in any way what the First Lady actually said. Sarah Palin of course, misconstrues the words of others as much as she butchers the English language. Michelle Obama actually said this,

“In the afternoon, there was no way we’d be allowed to lie around the house watching TV. Our parents made us get up and play outside. As I tell my kids, dessert is not a right.”

Once again, a sane rational person would understand that Michelle Obama was simply explaining that tasty desserts should be earned by physical activities which reduce the ill effects of the sugary treats. Once again however, Sarah Palin has demonstrated that she is not a sane rational person.

CNN informs us that this was not not the first time Palin has taken a job at Mrs. Obama over her campaign to discourage fattening foods, especially from public schools. The former vice presidential nominee told conservative talk radio host Laura Ingraham last month that “the first lady cannot trust parents to make decisions for their own children, for their own families in what we should eat.” Palin also hand-delivered cookies to a Pennsylvania school last month before delivering a speech there, saying: “Who should be deciding what I eat? Should it be government or should it be parents? It should be the parents.”

Sarah Palin is a buffoon. After all, what sane rational parent would object to healthy food being fed to their children at public school rather than unhealthy fat-laden foods? Would Palin also object to those school crossing guards on the grounds that, “Who should be deciding when my child crosses the street? Should it be government or should it be parents?” Probably.

In addition to the futility of her attacks against promoting a healthy diet for children, Palin has also been exposed as a hypocrite. Whatever happened to her edict that family members should be “off limits” in the world of political debate? Palin has violated her very own golden rule by attacking the President’s wife. After all, he is the elected official, not Michelle. What would her response be if Barack Obama criticized daughter Bristol’s teen abstinence campaign as “closing the door after the horse has fled the barn”? Would she play the victim card yet again? You betcha!

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Santa Claus Is Coming To Town song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ky4wu58XTr4

SARAH PALIN’S COMING TO TOWN

(sung to the Patti Page version of “Santa Claus Is Coming To Town”)

Get your wallet out
Wink and blink your eyes
Holler and shout
At protesting guys
Sarah Palin’s coming to town

Your town’s on her list
So you must play nice
And listen to Sarah P.’s advice
Sarah Palin’s coming to town

She’ll fleece you while your sleeping
Your money she will take
She’ll force you to purchase her book
Although the story’s fake

Oh, get your money out
So that you can buy
Can’t be without
Her book full of lies
Sarah Palin’s coming to town

Sarah Palin’s coming to town

Sarah Palin’s coming to town

The crap she serves is heaping
The truth she does forsake
The writing is so bad it’s good
For a laugh you should partake

Sarah Palin’s coming to town

Oh, don’t make Sarah pout
Don’t make Sarah cry
Don’t go without
Her book full of lies
Sarah Palin’s coming to town

Your town’s on her list
So you must play nice
And listen to Sarah P.’s advice
Sarah Palin’s coming to town

The crap she serves is heaping
The truth she does forsake
The writing is so bad it’s good
For a laugh you should partake

Oh, don’t make Sarah pout
Don’t make Sarah cry
Don’t go without
Her book full of lies
Sarah Palin’s coming to town

Sarah Palin Agrees To Interview With Lamestream Media (sort of)

Day by day it becomes more evident that Sarah Palin will run for President of the United States in 2012. She has admitted that she is considering such a campaign but sometimes actions speak louder than words. This is especially true in reference to Palin who lies so frequently that her words have no credibility. She is however, acting like someone poised to run. Consider that she made sure that early caucus state Iowa was on her recent book signing for profit tour. How about her recent trip to Haiti in an attempt to enhance her foreign policy bona fides? And now we learn that she will give an interview to the hated “lamestream media”.

Yes, you read that correctly. Sarah Palin will be interviewed on “Good Morning America” this Friday by Robin Roberts. You knew that Palin would never agree to be questioned by co-anchor George Stephanopoulos. You might be wondering if this is the first such interview by Palin with a traditional television network since her disastrous and hilarious encounters with Charles Gibson and Katie Couric back in 2008. The answer is a resounding, “Yes”. Truth be told, Palin did appear with Barbara Walters on her “Most Fascinating” special and she also sat with Oprah, but those were mere fluff pieces with no hard-hitting questions. Now, “Good Morning America” is certainly no “Meet The Press” or “Face The Nation”, but it at least has the potential to stump Palin with a few unexpected questions unlike her staged Fox News appearances.

On its website, ABC says that, “Roberts will spend a day-in-the-life with the former governor and mother of five at her home in Wasilla”.  The network also says, “In a wide-ranging interview, Roberts will talk to Palin about her new book “America by Heart: Reflections on Family, Faith, and Flag,” plus all the major political news of the day, from taxes to health care to foreign policy.” Let’s see just how in depth the questions on taxes, health care and foreign policy will be and whether there will be any serious follow-up questions to Palin’s sure-to-be unintelligible answers.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s Holiday Season song parody which was requested by a loyal Rocketeer.

Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TfSb6J4jhcU

RUDOLPH’S BEEN GUNNED DOWN BY SARAH PALIN

(sung to the Christmas song “Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer”)

Rudolph’s been gunned down by Sarah Palin
For her TV show on TLC
She took aim as she was dressed like Santa
She did it for the ratings, I believe

She was drunk on brandy-eggnogs
Like Rudolph’s nose, she did glow
Mixing booze with her medication
So like a dead fish “she went with the flow”

She went out that chilly morning
With her gun strapped to her back
Bullets as lethal as warheads
All the best equipment bought by SarahPAC

Rudolph’s been gunned down by Sarah Palin
For her TV show on TLC
She took aim as she was dressed like Santa
She did it for the ratings, I believe

Tea-Baggers are so proud of Sarah
Santa Claus can go to hell
With her they are having a ball
Making signs and shouting words that they can’t spell

Palin is one bad-ass grandma
A big fence surrounds her shack
And with Todd the dumb Boy-Wonder
They will fight-off “lamestram media” attacks

Rudolph’s been gunned down by Sarah Palin
For her TV show on TLC
She took aim as she was dressed like Santa
She did it for the ratings, I believe

On her show which airs on cable
Also on her Fox News gig
Sarah sports those trashy sandals
Just like putting bright red “lipstick on a pig”

Sarah lacks both friends and neighbors
She scares them with bullet shells
And she hunts without a license
Sarah Palin will do anything that sells

Rudolph’s been gunned down by Sarah Palin
For her TV show on TLC
She took aim as she was dressed like Santa
She did it for the ratings, I believe

(sing it Sarah!)

Rudolph’s been gunned down by Sarah Palin
For her TV show on TLC
She took aim as she was dressed like Santa
She did it for the ratings, I believe

Michael Steele Takes His Seat At The Back Of The G.O.P. Bus

It now appears that the Republican Party/Michael Steele mixed marriage is officially on the rocks. Just wondering, but was it the Massachusetts Gay Marriage Law that threatened the sanctity of their nuptials? Not this time, according to the parties in question.

High ranking G.O.P. members and donors are upset at Steele because he has once again tarnished the image of the “family values” political party. After it was revealed last week that the Republican National Committee funded some ribald revelry which took place at a lesbian/bondage/strip-club known as Voyeur West Hollywood, the G.O.P. needed a scapegoat to take the blame for their bad behavior. Who better than RNC Chairman Michael Steele?

After all, wasn’t Steele also the guy that responded to a citizen speaking at a town hall meeting about how her mother died as the result of not being able to afford chemotherapy, by telling her that her histrionics were sure to land her a spot on local television that night and that she should enjoy her moment in the spotlight? Wasn’t Steele also the guy that lied by saying that during a debate, he was pelted with Oreo cookies as a symbol that he was “Black on the outside but White on the inside”? All good reasons for disliking Steele mind you, but isn’t the true reason why Republicans dislike him, the fact that they put a Black person in charge of the party to lure more African Americans and not only did that mission fail, but during Steele’s reign the G.O.P. was resoundingly voted out of the White House and out of majority status in both houses of Congress? This lesbian/bondage thing is just the icing on the cake.

Michael Steele however, has also fallen out of love with the Republican Party. He now deems the Party of Lincoln to be racist. Yesterday on ABC’s Good Morning America, he said that he was being singled out by his party because he is black. When asked by the host if he has a slimmer margin of error because he is African American, Steele responded:

The honest answer is, ‘yes’, Barack Obama has a slimmer margin. A lot of folks do. It’s a different role for me to play and others to play and that’s just the reality of it. But you take that as part of the nature of it. My view on politics is much more grassroots oriented, it’s not old boy network oriented, so I tend to, you know, come at it a little bit stronger, a little bit more street-wise, if you will. That’s rubbed some feathers the wrong way.

It looks like the G.O.P./Steele marriage may soon be divorced as the result of some irreconcilable differences.

As for the Democratic Party response to the Republican public airing of the family laundry, White House Spokesman Robert Gibbs said,

I think Michael Steele’s problem isn’t the race card, it’s the credit card.

Let’s face it, any day that you can mention the Republican Party and lesbian/bondage/strip-clubs in the same sentence, is a good day for the Democrats. Ahh, Michael we hardly knew ye!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

It’s My Party song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XsYJyVEUaC4

IT’S OUR REPUBLICAN PARTY

(sung to the Lesley Gore song “It’s My Party”)

It’s our party, and we’ll cry if we want to
Lie if we want to, die if we want to
You would cry too if you had who we do

Nobody knows where Mitt Romney has gone
Delay had to resign
McCain was one we can’t stand
The rest just wallow in slime

It’s our party, and we’ll cry if we want to
Lie if we want to, die if we want to
You would cry too if you had who we do

Naughty Mark Sanford’s romancin’ tonight
Michele Bachmann’s spewin’ bile
We don’t like Mike Huckabee
He talks just like Gomer Pyle

It’s our party, and we’ll cry if we want to
Lie if we want to, die if we want to
You would cry too if you had who we do

(musical interlude)

Aw, Sarah Palin behaves just like a whore
She’s a mean ding-a-ling
Jindal should open his eyes
He’ll never be our king

It’s our party, and we’ll cry if we want to
Lie if we want to, die if we want to
You would cry too if you had who we do


Oh, It’s our party, and we’ll cry if we want to
Lie if we want to, die if we want to
You would cry too if you had who we do

Oh, It’s our party, and we’ll cry if we want to
Lie if we want to, die if we want to

Palin vs Johnston: The Thrilla In Wasilla

LET’S GET READY TO RUMBLE !!!

Wow, the Sarah Palin Ghost-Written Rural Hamlet Book Tour is barely underway and the gloves are off already. The first punches of this round of the Sarah Palin/Levi Johnston never-ending feud were thrown by the former ex-quitting governor of Alaska. She appeared on Oprah and told Oprah Winfrey (and a nationally televised audience) that she believes that her once and future former son-in-law Levi Johnston’s Playgirl Magazine spread constitutes, “porn” and that she finds it, “heartbreaking” to see the road the father of her grandson has taken. She also told Oprah that Johnston lied about living at her home. Palin followed up that left hook/uppercut combination with an additional jab or two the next day on Good Morning America (with another nationally televised audience) when she told host Barbara Walters that Johnston is a liar and then implied that he is a disinterested father to boot. While discussing a potential legal custody battle between her daughter and Johnston, Palin said,

It will be nice to see in I guess even legal proceedings a desire to be a part of the baby’s life. That’s a good sign.

Johnston took those blows in stride and countered with a daring fusillade of his own. He appeared on ET (a/k/a Enterainment Tonight) and let loose with this,

That’s total bullsh*t. I did [live with the Palin family] for a few months, then we split up and that was it. I think this interview is really gonna kick up some things, I don’t think she wanted to do that.

Them sure sounds like fightin’ words to us here at Lynnrockets’ Blast-Off. Unfortunately after Levi’s remarks, the bell sounded and that round was over. Now is the time to go and get some more popcorn and the adult beverage of your choice before the next round begins. Tune in again for live action tomorrow. Same Bat-Time. Same Bat-Channel.

In honor of the troops, today’s song parody musically illustrates the intriguing Sarah Palin/Levi Johnston relationship. Remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.

The Ballad Of John And Yoko song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_t3oaPNJieg

THE BALLAD OF SARAH AND LEVI

(Sung to the Beatles song “The Ballad of John and Yoko”)

Posing in a condo in New York,
Levi about to remove his pants
He now has a knack
To annoy SarahPAC
Yet most of them will still want to take a glance

Christ you know it ain’t easy,
You know how hard it can be,
To play second fiddle,
To the Caribou-Barbie.

Sarah claims that she is embarrassed
Really, she just envies his fame
Katie Couric did say,
“Can you pray away gay?”
“And can you point out some newspapers by name?”.

Christ you know it ain’t easy,
Those interviews on TV.
Reviews were not glowing
For the brain-dead Sarah P.

Levi’s camped-out in the Manhattan Hilton,
Media folks want him to speak
The newspapers said,
“What’s going on in your head?”
He said, “I think Sarah just wants a quick peek”

Christ you know she’s so sleazy,
She won’t speak without a fee
The next show she’s doing
Will be with Sean Hannity

Keeping every penny of per-diem pay,
Lying about clothes to charity,
Daughter that’s unwed,
Is someone inbred?
Her chance to win election, pretty low – Think!

Relatives all getting arrested.
Family dignity in free-fall.
McCain’s folks still claim,
“Palin was to blame”
But Sarah says that they dropped the ball

Christ you know she’s so sleazy
She lies so effortlessly
But Levi is going,
To crucify Sarah P.

How did Mac choose Sarah to begin with?
She is just a political hack.
A dumb “hockey mom”,
That can’t think and chew gum.
Why didn’t he select “Joe Sixpack?”

Christ she makes us uneasy.
In Yiddish we say, “Oy Vey.”
We’d love to replace her
With our good friend, Tina Fey.
We’d love to replace her
With our good friend, Tina Fey.