Just a few newsworthy items (and comments thereon) that have been making their way through the political universe this past week. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful day!
BREAKING NEWS: Talking Points Memo (TPM) reports that a group of Senate Democrats has identified the new Tea Party caucuses in the House and Senate as existential threats to Social Security, and are aligning to create a bulwark against them. They’re pressing President Obama to re-engage and get on their side of the issue, and they have some muscle in the form of their message guru, Sen. Chuck Schumer (D-NY). He said, “We’re not crying wolf here, this is a serious movement to undo the most successful government program in the 20th century.” Why does it not surprise Lynnrockets that the Tea Party would be behind such a move?
THIS JUST IN: Is it just me, or is anyone else skeptical about the recent report that concludes that the 5000 birds that fell dead from sky in Arkansas died from blunt force trauma? What on God’s green earth did all 5000 birds get hit by all at the same time? The moon? Come on, there has to be a better explanation than that.
BREAKING NEWS: Is it a surprise to anyone that moonbat-crazy Michele Bachmann (R-MN) who insisted throughout last year’s campaign season that Republicans must focus on jobs, has just suggested in a list of proposed spending cuts that the government “eliminate federal job training programs”? You simply cannot believe one word that emanates from this crackpot’s mouth.
THIS JUST IN: Does anybody else out there like to live vicariously through Charlie Sheen?
BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “What A Bust!” features the Tea Party Caucus. The first meeting of the Senate Tea Party Caucus on Thursday attracted just four senators — out of 47 GOP members — willing to describe themselves as members. Even Tea Party star Marco Rubio avoided the event. Let’s face it, no sane person would want to hitch their boxcar to that crazy-train.
THIS JUST IN: In his State of the Union response, Paul Ryan (R-WI) had this to say about Social security, “This is a future in which we will transform our social safety net into a hammock, which lulls able-bodied people into lives of complacency and dependency.” What Mr. Ryan failed to tell the American people however, was that he personally collected Social security death benefits after his father passed away and used them to pay for his college education. Hmm, looks like somebody has some ‘splainin’ to do.
BREAKING NEWS: Fox News Comment of the week. In response to the Fox News headline, “California Neighbors Irate Over Nazi Flag in Window”. Website comment: “Is this any worse than all the Mexican flags I see on Cinco De Mayo?”
THIS JUST IN: Just when you thought that the potential list of whackos competing for the 2012 G.O.P. Presidential nomination could not get any weirder, along comes Sharron “2nd Amendment Remedies” Angle. When asked by an Iowa reporter if she planned to run, she responded, “I’ll just say I have lots of options for the future, and I’m investigating all my options.” Good grief!
BREAKING NEWS: It was refreshing to see Politicususa report this week that Glenn Beck’s ratings have dropped nearly 50% over the last year – he’s lost almost 500,000 viewers a night since November. It would appear that even the under-educated and misinformed Fox News audience is fed up with listening to Beck predict things that never happen or rant about wildly imagined conspiracy theories. They may finally even realize that Beck appears to be having some sort of nervous breakdown before their very eyes. Whatever the underlying reason, like his sponsors, his audience is now leaving in droves.
Speaking of Glenn Beck, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.
Desperado song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C2EzD0ziIj0
(sung to the Eagles song “Desperado”)
Desperado, you better come to your senses
Your racist offenses, so public now
Oh, you’re a hard one
But this will be your last season
The Fox boys are teasin’ you
Your show’s all done now
After your unseemly cryin’, boy
We knew you were unstable
We have all seen you fall apart on your set
Now it seems to me, you don’t bring
One sane sentence to the table
But what could one expect from crazy Glenn Beck
Desperado, you better fetch that old plunger
You’ll soon be flushed under that porcelain throne
Your kingdom, your kingdom fell and it’s not all that shocking
You just kept on talking till you were all alone
Will your deep dark soul hibernate in slime?
Your name, Glenn Beck, constitutes a crime
As does most everything that you say
Your sponsors all fleeing your show
Ain’t it funny as we watch them go away?
Desperado, You’ve shown us all what nonsense is
The prevailing sense is, you only hate
Your tears are rainin’, cuz you know nobody loves you
The Lord in Heaven up above you
(heaven up above you)
The Lord in Heaven up above you will decide your fate
The Month of August has not been kind to Sarah Palin. The former half-term ex-quitting governor of Alaska has gone 0 for 5 this month with regard to candidates that she has endorsed for election. This week both of the candidates Palin backed in Tuesday’s primaries lost their bids. In Washington State, Palin had backed Tea Party activist Clint Didier in his bid for the Senate over businessman Dino Rossi, the favorite of national Republicans. Didier lost. In Wyoming, Palin endorsed Rita Meyer, whom she christened as one of her “Mama grizzlies” for governor. Meyer also lost.
Of Didier, Palin said the Tea Party favorite “inspired” her and that he is a “patriot running for U.S. Senate to serve his state & our country for all the right reasons”. As for Meyer, she said, “voters know that Rita has a unique blend of steel magnolia and mama grizzly”. In each case however, the voters made it clear that they disagree with Sarah Barracuda.
In addition to Tuesday’s losses, there was the even bigger disappointment last Tuesday, when Palin’s hand-picked gubernatorial candidate in Georgia, Karen Handel, lost to fellow Republican Nathan Deal. Palin had exerted all of her efforts in that race even appearing with Handel at a campaign rally just hours before the vote. All to no avail however, as Handel was handily defeated. Also in August, Palin-backed candidates Rep. Todd Tiahrt, who was vying for Senate in Kansas – and Tennessee congressional candidate CeCe Heil lost their elections.
The bloom is now officially off of Sarah Palin’s rose. The majority of voters in all five of those conservative states rejected candidates that share a political ideology with Palin. Those rejections follow on the heels of the recently released TheIowaRepublican.com poll which was conducted from July 25th through July 28th. It revealed that Palin is ranked a lowly fourth by Iowa Republicans regarding who they would like as the Republican presidential candidate in 2012. She was favored by only 11% of those polled. Hence, Palin and her political philosophy have been rejected in six conservative states just this month.
Will the trend continue? Let’s hope so. Palin’s next tests come Tuesday when Alaska, Arizona and Florida hold their primary votes. In Alaska, Palin has backed Joe Miller in his long shot bid to defeat Republican Senate incumbent Lisa Murkowski. In Arizona, Palin went with Sen. John McCain in his Senate primary bid against former Rep. J.D. Hayworth. And in Florida, Palin has picked Republican candidate Marco Rubio in that state’s Senate race.
Please remember to click on both song links below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody. Enjoy!
Sunny song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ubvYQxTXO3U
(sung to the Bobby Hebb song “Sunny”)
Sarah, you sunk the knife into ol’ John McCain
Sarah, since then you’ve been riding the crazy train
Now your sane days are gone, and your Fox days are here
You’re number one at spreading fear
Sarah, why do you have no clue?
Sarah, selling that Tea Party Kool-Aid
Funny, how they bought your “death panel” charade
Signed for a fee, books at the mall
“Such a steal” you told them all
Money just for you, girl that’s true
Sarah, we’ve seen your untruths on the TV
Sarah, misconstruing facts from A to Z
Crib-note hand universally panned
You’re as misinformed as Michele Bachmann
Sarah, why do you have no clue?
Sarah, soon we’ll wipe that smile right off your face
Sarah, thank you, thank you for lacking all style and grace
You’re a dark bad natured liar
Preaching to a brain-dead choir
Funny but its true, yes, you are screwed
Sarah, you’re an unloved wife that’s filled with rage
Sarah, the G.O.P. should really, really keep you caged
Cuz you might shoot your gun as your brain slips a gear
And blast someone that you hold dear
Sarah, yes it’s true, you’re unglued
Just a few newsworthy events and comments thereon that have been making their way through the political universe this past week. Please chuckle a bit before enjoying Fathers’ Day.
BREAKING NEWS: This week’s edition of “The Other Crazy Carolina” features North Carolina mountain man, Tim Peeler who claims to have encountered Bigfoot. Rather than describe the situation, let’s just go straight to the video, shall we…
THIS JUST IN: This week’s edition of “Republicans Living In A World Of Fiction” features Pat Buchanan. He not only defends “Brain Fartin'” Joe Barton’s apology to BP for having to cough up $20 Billion for an oil spill victims’ escrow fund, but likens Attorney General Eric Holder to the fictional Godfather enforcer Luca Brasi making “a deal they couldn’t refuse”. This is just the latest example of Republicans like Dick Cheney so often defending torture in the event of a 24 like ticking time bomb. What’s next, will Sarah Palin compare Barack Obama to the “Smoke Monster” from Lost?
BREAKING NEWS: Oops! We spoke too soon. This week’s second edition of “Republicans Living In A World Of Fiction” features conservative pundit Ann “The Man” Coulter. While appearing as a guest on the Fox network’s The O’Reilly Factor, the Coulter guy began comparing liberals to children who supposedly think that President Obama is either the tooth fairy or Santa Claus. Keep trying Coulter but you’ll never out-crazy Beck, Palin and Bachmann.
THIS JUST IN: This week’s edition of “Republicans Doing The Flip Flop” features California Gubernatorial candidate Meg Whitman. You might remember that during the primary, Whitman supported a no amnesty and zero tolerance posture towards illegal immigration in an effort to grab the conservative vote. However, now that she has secured the Republican spot, she must cater to the vast number of California Hispanics. Hence, she has released a campaign ad in which she portrays herself as “the Republican who opposed the Arizona (racist immigrant) law”. Nice try Meg. We are sure you will be embraced by the Spanish speaking community.
BREAKING NEWS: This week’s edition of “You Can Run But You Can’t Hide” features Sarah Palin the former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska. After months of requests from reporters, California State University, Stanislaus (rhymes with Santa Claus) on Friday agreed to allow members of the media to attend a fundraiser next week Palin. The unusually secretive reality tv host and fence builder will now be on public display for the world to ridicule. Just wondering, but will they be serving word salad at the event?
THIS JUST IN: This week’s edition of “Do As I Say, Not As I Do” features Florida’s Republican Gubernatorial candidate Marco “Polo” Rubio. You might recall that Rubio has been basing his campaign on fiscal conservatism and he repeatedly criticizes the Obama administration for spending money that it does not have. Well, a funny thing happened on the way to election day. Rubio is reportedly facing foreclosure on a Tallahassee home that he stopped making mortgage payments on last February. Tsk, tsk, tsk. Maybe Charlie Crist will rent him a room.
BREAKING NEWS: TPM/Muckraker gives us ” The 7 Dumbest Things BP Has Said About The Spill – – So Far.”
- “The Gulf of Mexico is a very big ocean. The amount of volume of oil and dispersant we are putting into it is tiny in relation to the total water volume.”
- “everything we can see at the moment suggests that the overall environmental impact of this will be very, very modest.”
- BP CEO Tony Hayward says, “Y’know, I’d like my life back,”
- BP Chairman Carl-Henric Svanberg told the Financial Times on May 25 — his first newspaper interview since the April 20 Deepwater Horizon explosion — that his company still has a future in the U.S. because BP is “big and important.”
- “The oil is on the surface,” Hayward said. “There aren’t any plumes.”
- BP COO Doug Suttles told the Associated Press on June 8 that the oil leak should slow to “a relative trickle” soon.
- “I care about the small people. I hear comments sometimes that large oil companies are greedy companies or don’t care, but that is not the case at BP. We care about the small people.”
THIS JUST IN: This week’s edition of “Tepid Tea” features Mark Williams. The conservative radio talk show host and prominent Tea Party activist is giving up his role as the chairman of the Tea Party Express. It seems that even this bigoted jack-ass can read the tea leaves and see that the Tea-Baggers are on the way out. The Tea Party will be remembered as a flash in the pan.
Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody which features the whole bunch of conservatives.
California Dreamin’ song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2xN9r0bWe78
(sung to the Mamas & The Papas song “California Dreamin’”)
All their shirts are brown
(All their shirts are brown)
And their hair is grey
(And their hair is grey)
Listen to them talk
(Listen to them talk)
As they loudly pray
(As they loudly pray)
Scandal is their norm
(Scandal is their norm)
They have one every day
(They have one every day)
And politics of hate
Members of John Birch
Some won’t admit they’re gay
But when they get down on their knees
(Get down on their knees)
That’s when they like to play
(When they like to play)
These slimy creatures should be told
(Creatures should be told)
Membership’s gone away
(Members gone away)
Has led them all astray
Glenn Beck is a clown
(Glenn Beck is a clown)
What does Limbaugh weigh?
(What does Limbaugh weigh?)
Palin cannot talk
(Palin cannot talk)
She’s no Tina Fey
(She’s no Tina Fey)
Somebody should tell her
(Somebody should tell her)
To just go away
(To just go away)
Has become so cliché
Has lost all its cache´
Drives voters all away
Just a few noteworthy news satellites that have been careening around the blogosphere this week.
BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Why Am I Not Surprised?” features Arizona state senator Russell Pearce who authored his state’s newly enacted racist immigrant law. Crooks and Liars has revealed that Senator Pearce is rather chummy with a guy named J.T. Ready, who also happens to be one of Arizona’s leading neo-Nazis. “May I see your papers, please?”
THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “Rush To Judgment” features who else but Rush Limbaugh. Media Matters reports, “With a controversial immigration bill signed into law in Arizona and President Obama’s call ‘to make sure that the young people, African-Americans, Latinos, and women who powered our victory in 2008 stand together once again,’ it was little wonder that Rush would have a particularly racially charged show today (April 26th). Limbaugh pointed out that Obama didn’t specifically call on Democrats to ‘reconnect with white people’ and took off from there. Discussing the campaign video, Rush said, ‘This is the regime at its racist best,’ and that Obama ‘has purposely come to divide people” on racial lines’.”
BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Boy, Do I Hope She Is Right” features Democratic Party candidate Tarryl Clark who is running against moonbat-crazy Republican Michele Bachmann for the US Senate. Of Bachmann, Clark said, “She’ll still be on Fox News after I defeat her”. Let’s hope so.
THIS JUST IN: In a rare weekly twofer, this week’s episode of “Welcome To The Alternative Universe” also features right wing radio comedian, Rush Limbaugh. Limbaugh’s understanding of the world which surrounds him is so distorted that this week he announced that the oil spill catastrophe in the Gulf was actually the fault of environmentalists and the Obama Administration. Yes, you read that correctly. He claimed that the initial explosion and fire at the rig was caused by explosives planted by environmentalists and then he blamed the resulting environmentally disastrous effects upon the federal government’s failure to step in sooner with remediation methods. Of course Limbaugh laid no blame upon the foreign BP corporation for failing to safeguard its own rig from malfunction, for downplaying the significance of its massive malfunction for nearly a week and for balking at assuming the costs of remediation. Rush Limbaugh is simply a propagandist buffoon.
BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Boycott For Change” features the thousands upon thousands of American citizens that have elected to boycott the State of Arizona so long as its recently enacted racial profiling inspired anti immigrant law remains in effect. Conventions, hotel bookings and vacations galore to Arizona have been canceled or moved to other states in the last week by socially conscious Americans who can smell a stink when it stinks. Bravo!
THIS JUST IN: Here is a little poem about Sarah Palin. Remember when “shrill baby, shrill” proclaimed on her “hill baby, hill” that we should “drill baby, drill” with no worry of “spill baby, baby spill”?
BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Another One Bites the Dust” features Florida Governor Charlie Crist. As the result of of poor polling numbers against conservative Republican challenger Marco “Polo” Rubio, the moderate Republican Crist has elected to ditch the G.O.P. and run as an Independent ala Joe “Say It Ain’t So” Lieberman. The Republican herd is thinning by natural selection.
THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “I couldn’t Have Said It Better Myself” features Bill Maher who this week twittered, “Every asshole who ever chanted ‘Drill Baby Drill’ should have to report to the Gulf Coast today for cleanup duty”.
BREAKING NEWS: In a very rare threepeat, this week’s episode of ” The Next Time You Say Something, Try To Have A Point” features who else but Rush Limbaugh. In response to former President Bill Clinton saying “right-wing, radio talk-show hosts” kept people in “white heat” nearly 15 years ago before the deadly Oklahoma City bombing, and warning against similar anger in the age of Obama, Limbaugh says, the Clinton and the Obama “regime” are the ones that have “set the stage for violence.” he also says,”Bill Clinton … just gave the kooks out there an excuse to be violent. He just offered them an opportunity to be violent.” Huh? Has Limbaugh now modeled his ability to reason on that of Sarah Palin?
By the way Rush, when is your big move to Costa Rica?
In honor of Rush Limbaugh’s triple inclusion in today’s blog post it seems appropriate to feature him in today’s song parody. Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s parody.
Mockingbird song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EeOqD3uMIRs&feature=related
(sung to the Carly Simon/James Taylor song “Mockingbird”)
Talk (yeah) ing (yeah) turd (yeah)
Now, everybody sure has heard
Rush Limbaugh the big fat talking turd
That loudmouth talking turd is king
Of all those racists in the right-wing
But those in the right-wing front line
Are busy planning for their next hate crime
And that’s why I keep on tellin’ everybody
Say yeah, yeah whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, oh
Hear me now and understand
Rush lives only to hate and malign
And if ratings decline someday
Limbaugh will spread hate in another way
And if that other way makes dough
He’ll ride with the tide and go with the flow
And that’s why I keep on shoutin’ in your ear
Say yeah, yeah whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, oh
Now, everyone should doubt his word
Rush Limbaugh is just a talking turd
And when that talking turd does sing
We can tell he’s just a ding-a-ling
And when that ding-a-ling just whines
Yes, Republicans will still think he shines
And there’s a reason why I keep on tellin’ everybody
Say yeah, yeah no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no
Listen now and understand
Rush Limbaugh surely has lost his mind
And though he drugged his mind away
The right-wing nuts still listen everyday
Like Sarah Palin and that Plumber, Joe
He’s a dead fish that just “goes with the flow”
And that’s the reason why he keeps on spreadin’ all that fear
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, now, now, baby