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Tuesday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 97

Just a few newsworthy items (and comments thereon) that have been making their way through the political universe this past week but may have escaped your attention. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful day during this unofficial first workday of summer!

BREAKING NEWS:  This week’s episode of “Creepy Old Fat Men” stars conservative radio shock jock Rush Limbaugh. Media Matters reports that last week the drug-addicted Limbaugh told a 14 year old girl who called into the program that she is a “Rush babe”. He then said, “See, folks, this program has no boundaries. We have people from all three sexes, we have people from all religions, we have people from all genders, all demographics, all ages. A 14-year-old Rush babe.” Ewww! After listening to Limbaugh, you feel like you need a shower.

THIS JUST IN:  Want to know how to lose the Latino vote? Just ask Mitt Romney. Talking Points Memo reports that Romney addressed a luncheon hosted by the Latino Coalition Wednesday. Immigration was not mentioned once, either in the address or in a pre-screened Q&A session. Romney’s lack of any reference to immigration on Wednesday was especially glaring given that the Latino Coalition has strongly advocated for comprehensive immigration reforms in recent years. The  the latest polls show Romney trailing with Latinos by the same disastrous margins that brought down John McCain.

BREAKING NEWS:  Speaking of Mitt Romney, he was given a foreign policy spanking last week by none other than GOP foreign policy heavyweight Colin Powell. In reference to Romney’s labeling of Russia as the United States’ “No. 1 geopolitical foe, the former chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, said on MSNBC’s Morning Joe, “Come on, Mitt, think. That isn’t the case.” MSNBC reports that Powell added, “Let’s not go creating enemies where none need exist… let’s not hyperbolize the situation.”

THIS JUST IN:  Speaking of Colin Powell, did you realize that last week he endorsed gay marriage? The Hill reports that he said, “As I’ve thought about gay marriage, I know a lot of friends who are individually gay but are in partnerships with loved ones. And they are [as] stable a family as my family is. And they raise children. And so I don’t see any reason not to say that they should be able to get married under the laws of their state or the laws of the country, however that turns out — it seems to be the laws of the state,” during an appearance on CNN’s “The Situation Room with Wolf Blitzer.” Good for you, Mr. Powell!

BREAKING NEWS:  Remember Newt Gingrich? before running for President he liked to brag that his business ventures pulled in more than $110 million over the past decade. Well, a funny thing happened on the way to Newt’s quitting the presidential race. Reuters reports that “the vestiges of this empire are mired in debt, as is Gingrich’s campaign fund” and they “are going bankrupt.” Gingrich, you might recall, told the American people he knew how to get the nation out of debt. Not so much.

THIS JUST IN:  Speaking of Newt Gingrich, remember when the philanderer’s personal financial disclosure campaign filing revealed he had a line of credit of up to $1 million with the store, in addition to a revolving charge account at the high-end Tiffany & Co. jewelry store? Well, perhaps Gingrich’s recent financial collapse has also had a negative effect on the tony jeweler. Tiffany & Co. cut its outlook for both sales and profit for the year, citing a slowdown in demand for its jewelry. As the result of that announcement, its shares fell more than 8 percent in premarket trading.

BREAKING NEWS: Best quote of the week: at an event in Iowa, President Obama said “Governor Romney came to Des Moines last week and warned of a prairie fire of debt, but he left out some facts. His speech was more like a cow pie of distortion.”

THIS JUST IN: This weeks episode of “Republicans Eating Their Young” features George F. Will. Thinkprogress writes, “During an appearance on ABC’s This Week, columnist George Will slammed Romney for sharing a stage with the self-promoting businessman. Describing Trump as a ”bloviating ignoramus,” Will said, “I do not understand the cost benefit here. The costs are clear. The benefit — what voter is gonna vote for him [Romney] because he is seen with Donald Trump? The cost of appearing with this bloviating ignoramus is obvious it seems to me…Donald Trump is redundant evidence that if your net worth is high enough, your IQ can be very low and you can still intrude into American politics. Again, I don’t understand the benefit. What is Romney seeking? ”

BREAKING NEWS:  This weeks episode of “Republicans Eating Their Young- Part Two” features Meghan McCain. The Senator’s daughter wrote a column in The Daily Beast this week in which she called out Republicans for their hate speech. She said, “Last week, I went on Al Sharpton’s MSNBC show PoliticsNation to talk about extremism in the Republican Party. As a socially liberal Republican, this happens to be a topic I know a lot about. On the show, I told Sharpton that many Republicans treat me like a freak, especially the extreme-right members of my party. I went on to say that I don’t understand the appeal of extreme bloggers such as Michelle Malkin and the late Andrew Breitbart. That’s all I said, but it only took a few hours before my comments were posted out of context on a variety of blogs that suggested I was viciously attacking Breitbart. My Twitter feed exploded with insults, including the suggestion that I should kill myself.”

Please remember to click on the song link below to not only familiarize yourselves with the tune of today’s song parody about the Meghan McCain /Michelle Malkin rivalry, but also so that you will have more fun singing along.

We Can Work It Out song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zn_ZdX6nQvw

THEY CAN’T WORK IT OUT

(sung to The Beatles song “We Can Work It Out”)

Try to see Malkin’s way
All she does is keep on squawking till she can’t go on
Try to see McCain’s way
Just a kid foregoing all the love of neocons

They can’t work it out
They can’t work it out

All Meghan is saying
Neocons were wrong and moved way too far to the right
But Michelle is saying
McCain’s a kid that must learn to hate with lips locked tight

They can’t work it out
They can’t work it out

No one shall abort for it’s a crime
Keep fussing and fighting, my friends
G.O.P. group thought by Fox is fine
Broadcast from six till after ten

But to see Malkin’s way
So easy to tell that the far right is so damn wrong
She can’t see McCain’s way
And the chance that the right will fall apart before too long

They can’t work it out
They can’t work it out

Sight is very short in Malkin time
Nonplussing and fighting with friends
McCain’s only thought, not worth a dime
But she still “tweets” time and again

They should hit the highway
They emit a smell that is both ripe and very strong
Passing through a doorway
That will hit them in the ass as we shout out, “So Long!”

They can’t work it out
They can’t work it out

Newt’s Newest Lie Soon To Be Revealed

Remember when Newt Gingrich promised to stay in the GOP primary election race until the Republican Convention in August? If you do not, perhaps this will refresh your memory.

Well, it now looks like that statement will soon be revealed as just another one of Gingrich’s many lies. It will prove to be just as untruthful as Gingrich’s statement that, “The $300,000 I was paid by Freddie Mac were for my services as, uh, a historian.” and “When I was speaker, we had four consecutive balanced budgets.”  Still, maybe Gingrich’s best statement about lying was when he said, “Any ad which quotes what I said on Sunday is a falsehood.” So anybody who quotes Gingrich’s own words is lying? How’s that for twisted logic?

But let’s get to our latest news. The Huffington Post reports that despite Newt Gingrich’s vow to remain in the GOP race until the Republican Convention in August, it looks like he will soon quit the race. The blog reports that just yesterday in an interview with ABC News, Gingrich said, “I think we need to take a deep look at what we are doing”,  adding that he would then have to “reassess”.

Those certainly sound like “quittin'” words from the candidate who’s campaign is millions of dollars in debt and who has laid off more than one-third of his staff. Oh well, Gingrich’s vow to stay in the race will simply be remembered as just another one of his lies like, “The Obama administration … would impose on every Catholic institution, every Jewish institution, every Protestant institution the Obamacare standard of what you have to buy as insurance.”

Oh Newt, we hardly knew ye!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

You’re A Mean One Mr. Grinch song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nzXKWKaxt3c

YOU’RE A HAS-BEEN, NEWT GINGRICH

(sung to the Dr. Seuss song “The Grinch That Stole Christmas”)

You’re a has-been, Newt Gingrich
You’re lacking in appeal
Your were ousted as The Speaker
No one wants to hear you squeal
Newt Gingrich

You’re a unicycle
Without even one wheel

You’ve had three wives, Newt Gingrich
A mistress in the hole
Philandering’s your day job
You’re a slimy ugly troll
Newt Gingich

These woman that like you, must
Be on work release or parole

You’re a vile one, Newt Gingrich
Your words reek with rancid bile
Your criticism of Bill Clinton
As you’re cheating all the while
Newt Gingrich

There couldn’t be a bigger hypocrite
Within a Midwest country mile

You’re a foul one, Newt Gingrich
Your first divorce smelled of skunk
Your wife, Jackie fighting cancer
You told her she was junk
Newt Gingrich

The nicest words to describe you,
Are, as follows, and I quote, Pink. Wank, Punk

You’re a coward, Newt Gingrich
Avoided your army spot
Deferment-seeking chicken-hawk
That likes to talk real tough
Newt Gingrich

Your soul is an appalling dump heap overflowing
With the most disgraceful assortment of Republican
Sound-bytes imaginable,
Mangled up in tangled up knots

You’re the racist, Newt Gingrich
It’s not Judge Sotomayor
You play the race card as a white guy
That’s so laughable I’m sure
Newt Gingrich

You’re a stinking pile of vomit
Sitting in the sun
With feces on top

Huntsman Compares GOP to Chinese Communist Party

It was enlightening to learn that former GOP Presidential candidate Jon Huntsman believes that the Republican Party is like China’s authoritarian Communist party. The Daily Beast reports that “Huntsman returned to the podium to mourn the current state of his party on Sunday night at the 92nd Street Y in New York. He spoke of being disappointed when he was uninvited from a Florida fundraiser for suggesting a third-party run, saying, ‘This is what they do in China on party matters if you talk off script.’ He noted that even Ronald Reagan wouldn’t have a shot at the nomination in this climate. ”

Huntsman of course was the only sane candidate crammed into the GOP clown-car of candidates which once held the likes of Michele “The Founding Fathers Fought To End Slavery” Bachmann, Rick “Man On Dog” Santorum and Herman “Raisin'” Cain. That group of crazies was also joined on and off again by Donald “Birther” Trump and Sarah “Death Panels” Palin. Now of course, only Newt “Four Wives” Gingrich, Ron “Dr. No” Paul and Mitt “Flip Flop” Romney remain.

What separated Jon Huntsman from the other GOP hopefuls was intelligence and a sense of moderation. He was the former Governor of Utah and an Eagle Scout who was awarded six honorary doctorate degrees. He also is fluent in multiple Chinese dialects. He worked in the Reagan administration as a White House staff Assistant, in the George H. W. Bush administration as Deputy Assistant Secretary of Commerce and United States Ambassador to Singapore and in the Barack Obama administration as United States Ambassador to China.

It was impossible for Huntsman to win the Republican nomination for President precisely because of those qualities. He was intelligent enough to believe in and understand math and science (and evolution as well) and moderate enough to work with Democrats. Those attributes are a death knell in today’s Tea Party ruled GOP where candidates must publicly denounce intelligence (and evolution as well) and vow to oppose every single Democratic initiative regardless of merit.

Consequently, it is refreshing to see a man who knows an awful lot about the Chinese to recognize the striking similarity of today’s Republican Party and the Chinese Communist Party.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

“All Together Now” song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LtjhW-ERoak

ALL TOGETHER NOW

 (sung to the Beatles song “All Together Now”)

One, two, three, four
Rick Perry’s a Texan whore
Five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten I loathe you

A, B, C, D
Bachmann’s drinking too much tea
E, F, G, H, I, J I loathe you

Boom, bam, boom
Boom, bam, boom

Mitt’s a dip
Boom, bam, boom
Newt’s crazy
Boom, bam, boom
Paul’s a dope
Boom, bam, boom
Where’s Christie?

All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now

Black, white, green, red
Listen to what Herm Cain said
Pink, brown, yellow, orange and blue I loathe you

All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now

Rick’s a twit
Boom, bam, boom
Jon’s a dweeb
Boom, bam, boom
Not a hope
Boom, bam, boom
Nobodies!

All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now….

Is Mitt(wit) Romney A Liar, Stupid or Both?

Lynnrockets hereby apologizes for the long break between posts. Thanks to those of you for sending emails and inquiring if everything is “OK”. Rest assured that all is well. Sometimes life gets hectic however and some things require more attention than others. In short, I was simply a little too busy with my real job for the last month and something had to make way for awhile. Unfortunately, that “something” was Lynnrocket’s Blast-Off. In an attempt to be “fair and balanced” (pun intended) however, the next time that things get very busy, something else will be temporarily put on hold rather than this blog. After all, they say a person can go about three weeks without eating.

In any event, let’s get back to business.

The proverbial “Fat Lady” is now singing. The 2012 Republican primary race is over. Newt Gingrich has conceded that rival Mitt Romney is “far and away” the most likely candidate to win the Republican nomination. Rick Santorum has lost a string of primaries and may even lose to Romney in his very own home state of Pennsylvania. Bring on Romney v. Obama!

Rest assured that this will be an uphill battle for Mitt Romney. All seven of the most recent nationwide polls (Rasmussen, USA Today/Gallup, CNN/Opinion Research, McClatchy/Marist, PPP, Reason-Rupe and even Fox News) presently reveal that Obama will beat Romney in a head-to-head election. Additionally, all six of the most recent polls (Gallup, Rasmussen, CNN/Opinion Research, McClatchy/Marist, Reason-Rupe and Fox News) reveal that President Obama’s job approval rating is on the rise. Yet, those are not the only problems facing Romney.

Mitt Romney’s biggest obstacle to getting elected may be his own ignorance and/or his penchant for lying. By now, everyone is aware that Romney  has switched positions on most every single policy stand he has taken since being in politics (See abortion, Romneycare, gun regulation, immigration, etc.), but he also has a problem telling the truth. For the last several weeks, MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow has been posting columns on her “The Maddow Blog” titled “Chronicling Mitt’s Mendacity” in which she reveals the many lies of Mitt Romney. Maddow’s chronicles have thus far added up to twelve lie-filled volumes. Please do yourselves a favor and read them all here.

Here is a just a sampling of some of Mitt Romney’s most outrageous whoppers since February of this year:

1. Campaigning in Wisconsin, Romney complained, “The president put an ad out yesterday, talking about gasoline prices and how high they are. And guess who he blamed? Me!”

That’s not true; Obama’s ad does not blame Romney for gas prices. It simply tells voters that the oil companies are supporting Romney’s campaign.

2. In an ad, the Romney campaign argued that Obama “has managed to pile on nearly as much debt as all the previous presidents combined.”

That’s not even close to the truth.

3. In an interview with James Pethokoukis, Romney insisted that Obama has “launched an all-out attack on small business.”

In reality, Obama has cut taxes on small businesses, eased the process that allows small businesses to be created, and streamlined the patent process.

4. Rolling out his new stump speech this week, Romney claimed, “Barack Obama presided over the first trillion-dollar deficit in American history.”

That’s incredibly dishonest. The deficit Bush left for Obama to clean up was $1.3 trillion on the day Obama was inaugurated.

5. The Romney campaign argued this week that Romney, during his only term as governor, had “four years of budget surpluses.”

Actually, Romney left his successor a $1.3 billion deficit to clean up.

6. In the same speech, Romney said, “Through it all, President Obama has failed to even pass a budget.”

That doesn’t even make sense — presidents don’t pass budgets; Congress passes budgets.

7. In the same speech, Romney said, “As I have said many times before, the President did not cause the economic crisis, but he made it worse.”

Romney is lying because he’s also said the American economy has improved under Obama.

8. Romney argued this week, “There’s no question that when [President Obama] ran for office, he said he wanted to see gasoline prices go up.”

No, he didn’t.

9. Romney also told Fox News’ Bret Baier this week about President Obama, “This is a president [who] simply does not have experience in tough situations.”

That’s ironic coming from a coddled multi-millionaire from a powerful, wealthy family, but it’s also blatantly untrue. Obama has experience leading the nation during a time of multiple ongoing crises. Love him or hate him, the economic crisis, the war in Iraq, the war in Afghanistan, the strikes on bin Laden and al Qaeda, and the offensive in Libya count as “tough situations” — tougher than anything Romney has ever seen in his entire life.

10. Romney promised, “Instead of raising taxes, I will cut them.”

Well, he’d cut taxes for most folks, but for those working families struggling most, the Romney plan calls for a tax increase.

11. Romney also told Mississippi Republicans about the president, “He was going to cut the budget deficit in half. He’s doubled it.”

This is one of Romney’s favorite lines, but it’s simply absurd on its face — he’s either lying or he’s bad at arithmetic. When Obama took office, the deficit was about $1.3 trillion. Last year, it was $1.29 trillion. This year, it’s on track to be about $1.1 trillion. Does Romney not know what “double” means? (Even if we believe Romney is confusing the words “deficit” and “debt,” it’s still wrong. The only modern presidents to double the debt on their watch were Reagan and George W. Bush. Obama inherited a $10 trillion debt, and it’s nowhere near $20 trillion.)

12. As Paul Krugman noted, Romney also argued that gasoline prices are high because President Obama won’t allow unrestricted drilling in the Gulf of Mexico and the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge.

What Romney’s saying just isn’t true.

13. Romney told Fox News’ Megyn Kelly, “Time and again, I pointed out I’m not in favor of a health care plan that includes a national mandate.”

Time and again, Romney has said he’s in favor of a health care plan that includes a national mandate.

14. Commenting on his health care reform law in Massachusetts, Romney told voters in Ohio this week, “Early on, we were asked if what you did in Massachusetts should be something you’d have the federal government do? I said no from the very beginning. No. This is designed for our state and our circumstance.”

He was lying.

15. Romney said of Obama this week, “He gave a speech the other day at his State of the Union address. He didn’t even mention the deficit or the debt.”

Obama mentioned the deficit and the debt six times in his State of the Union address.

16. Romney argued, “President Obama wants to raise your taxes; I’m going to cut them.”

Actually, Obama only wants to raise taxes on those making over $250,000 a year. Romney proposes massive tax breaks, except for those struggling most — their taxes would go up under Romney’s plan.

17. Referring to the president, Romney argued, “He also promised he’d cut taxes for middle-income Americans. Hasn’t done that, either.”

Actually, Obama has cut middle-class taxes several times over the last three years. If this is supposed to be one of Romney’s key areas of interest, how could he not have noticed this?

18. Romney argued this morning, “You know how many trade agreements this president has negotiated? Zero.”

Panama, Colombia, and South Korea know better.

19. Romney claimed that Syria is Iran’s “route to the sea.”

Iran has 1,520 miles of its own coastline — and doesn’t share a border with Syria.

20. Romney told Fox News’ Neil Cavuto he tried to “remove” the contraception mandate in Massachusetts, but the state legislature wouldn’t let him.

That’s not what happened.

Paul Krugman, noting Romney’s dishonesty, recently said the Republican presidential candidate “seems confident that he will pay no price for making stuff up.” Given the frequency with which he repeats falsehoods, it seems clear Krugman was right.

And the list goes on and on and on and on and……..

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

“Johnny B. Goode” song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I8JULmUlGDA

ROMNEY’S NO GOOD

 (sung to the Chuck Berry song “Johnny B. Goode”)

Way down Louisiana and in New Orleans
Mitt Romney looked dejected in his pressed blue jeans
He’s not very welcomed in that neighborhood
He’s not a country boy and they think he’s no good
They never ever saw a person lie so well
They are not really so sure that Mormons can avoid hell

No No
No Romney No
No
No Romney No
No
No Romney No
No
No Romney No
No
Romney’s no good!

Mitt Romney was a pro-choice star but then he went back
He fathered RomneyCare and that is a fact
Oh, the Mitt(wit) penned his dog in a kennel he made
Up on top of his car, the dog was afraid
People passing by they would point and say
Who treats a dear family pet that way?

No No
No Romney No
No
No Romney No
No
No Romney No
No
No Romney No
No
Romney’s no good!

(Tax Break For The Rich)

Mitt Romney is nothing but a flip-flopping man
He changes his positions as fast as he can
He once liked gun laws, now says they’re unsound
He’ll take any position that gains him some ground
Mitt’s really nothing but a John McCain-Lite
Sorry Romney’s no good tonight

No No
No Romney No
No No No Romney No
No No No Romney No
No No No Romney No
No
Romney’s no good!

GOP’s “Jobs Bills” Lies Exposed

If there is one single thing the Republican Party excels at, it is telling lies. Remember Sarah Palin’s “Death Panels”? How about George W. Bush’s “Weapons of Mass Destruction”? There was Ronald Reagan’s “The U.S. does not negotiate with terrorists”. We heard Mitt Romney say “Obama has made the economy worse.” Newt Gingrich said, “The $1.6 million I was paid by Freddie Mac were for my services as, uh, a historian.” Ron Paul lied about his racist newsletters and Rick Santorum said, President Obama is “driven by a phony theology – not a theology based on the Bible.” Is it any wonder that polls have shown Republican approval ratings as low as 10%?

One of the GOP’s favorite lies which is repeated by just about all of them is that they (i.e. House Republicans) have passed 30 “jobs bills” that have just been sitting in the Senate. Speaker of the House John Boehner (pronounced bo-ner) said last Sunday on Fox news (where else?), “30 jobs bills were passed over the last year in a Republican House of Representatives that are sitting in the United States Senate — thirty. Our focus over the last 12 months has been on jobs. Our focus over the course of the next 12 months is going to be on jobs.” The Republicans even have a webpage with a list of their so-called jobs bills.

Unfortunately for Mr. Boehner and the Republicans, somebody has been keeping score. Crooksandliars.com has gone so far as to point out why each of those bills is not, in fact, a jobs bill at all. Indeed, it is humorous to note that the Republicans’ web page lists only 27 (not 30) bills. There is another lie to add to the ever-growing list. The following is a brief synopsis of each alleged “jobs bill” and why it is not a “jobs bill” at all:

HR 3630 – The Middle Class Tax Relief & Job Creation Act of 2011: It cuts the 99-week maximum down to a 59-week maximum by mid-2012, allow states to drug-test UI recipients, and allow states to reduce state unemployment benefits and substitute federal funds. It also cuts funding for key provisions of the Affordable Care Act coming online. It also repeals the new timing rules for estimated corporate tax payments for companies with assets of $1 billion or more so that they can use payments of estimated taxes as a timing tool for fourth quarter profit declarations. So, where is the job creation in this bill? None of those provisions create jobs.

HR 1633 – Farm Dust Regulation Prevention Act of 2011: This bill prevents the EPA from issuing or finalizing regulations revising air quality standards under the Clean Air Act, and excepts farm dust from all references to “particulate matter.” No jobs there.

HR 10 – Regulations from the Executive in Need of Scrutiny (REINS) Act of 2011: Guts the regulation process by mandating that every regulation promulgated be approved by Congress after an onerous submission process, while exempting any Congressional finding from judicial review. Call this one the Carte Blanche For Congress To Kill All Regulatory Authority Bill.  No jobs created by this bill.

HR 3010 – Regulatory Accountability Act of 2011: This is a modified, somewhat less onerous version of HR 10, setting guidelines for whether any regulations are warranted at all even if called for under a statute. Calling an anti-regulatory statute a jobs bill is a little like calling a half-built bridge infrastructure. So again, not a jobs bill.

HR 527 – Regulatory Flexibility Improvements Act of 2011: This bill would reduce regulatory requirements on small businesses by forcing an impact study with specific focus on small business before regulation is adopted. It would limit EPA, OSHA and CFPB regulations while presumably protecting “small” closely-held Subchapter S corporations like Koch Industries. Not a jobs bill.

HR 3012 – Fairness for High-Skilled Immigrants Act of 2011: This bill would expand job immigration beyond current limits by eliminating employment-based immigrant visa caps and raising the percentage of total visas granted to 15% from 7%. For this one, I’ll say it IS a jobs bill, but not a jobs bill for American workers. It is the “Elite Immigration Jobs Bill of 2011”.

HR 3094 – Workforce Democracy and Fairness Act: This bill redefines collective bargaining units and makes significant changes to election procedures, including one intended to intimidate employees: an employer-supplied list of eligible voters with contact information provided by the employee. Not a jobs bill. A union-buster bill.

HR 2930 – Entrepreneur Access to Capital Act:This bill exempts startups raising less than $1 million in venture capital from small investors from SEC registration and oversight. Not a jobs bill. An anti-regulatory bill.

HR 2940 – Access to Capital for Job Creators Act: This bill repeals prohibitions on solicitation or advertising of a securities offering. It’s a companion to HR 2930, and is intended to allow people with no relationship to a startup company to invest in it without any oversight by the SEC. Let’s call this and its evil twins HR 2930 and HR 1965 the “Ponzi Scheme Coverup Acts of 2011”

HR 1965 – Securities Laws Amendment: This bill changes the shareholder threshhold for SEC registration from 500 to 2000 shareholders. It’s not a jobs bill. It’s a “hide from the SEC” bill. Its companion, HR 1970, would exempt SEC registration of public offerings under $50 million rather than the current $5 million threshold.

Many More EPA Acts: So many they don’t deserve to be broken down individually. HR 2273 removes coal ash regulation from the EPA and hands it to the states. HR 2681 would put a legislative stay on cement manufacturing emission standards. HR 2250 would put a legislative stay on EPA boiler MACT rules. HR 2401 would require analysis of all EPA regulations relating to air, waste, water and climate change. HR 2018 would restrict EPA from issuing any revisions to existing water standards or issuing a new standard for a pollutant if the state has already adopted one or there is an existing standard in place. In other words, ignore any new scientific research after an initial standard has been set. HR 2021 amends the Clean Air Act to open oil and gas exploration off the Alaska coast. HR 910 strips the EPA of authority to regulate greenhouse gases under the Clean Air Act, a direct assault on efforts to limit man-made contributions to climate change. HR 872 expands the use of pesticides, fungicides and rodent without EPA approval. Not a job created in any of these bills.

Many More Oil and Gas Drilling Acts: There is HR 1231, which would require the Administration to allow offshore oil and gas drilling and exploration in order to meet set domestic production goals, effectively forcing the moratorium on offshore drilling to be lifted to meet goals. HR 1229 requires the Energy Secretary to consider any offshore drilling permits within 30 days of receiving it and provide application denials in writing within 60 days of the application. Another “forced moratorium lift” bill. HR 1230 forces sales of oil leases in the Gulf of Mexico and Outer Continental Shelf of Virginia. It also lifts requirements for environmental impact statements and grandfathers in a 2007 document as authority for environmental impact. No new jobs created here either.

Special Interest Legislation, or Pandering to Corporate Interests

  • HR 1904 proposes an exchange of land so that Resolution Copper, LLC can mine copper on what is now part of the Tonto National Forest.
  • HJ Res 37 is a resolution of disapproval on net neutrality.
  • HR 2587 prohibits the NLRB from restricting where an employer can locate. This is in response to the NLRB’s objection to the Boeing plant relocation to South Carolina, a right-to-work state.

These would fall under the anti-labor, anti-environment categories, but not particularly effective job creators. In fact, in Boeing’s case, the jobs lost would hurt the economy more than jobs created in a right-to-work state where employers are not obligated to adhere to industry standards on contracts, safety or other issues.

Republicans passing jobs bills? Nope. Just more GOP lies.

Today’s song parody takes a rapid-fire look at Republicans past, present and future. Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.

We Didn’t Start The Fire song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eFTLKWw542g&ob=av2e

WE DIDN’T START THE LYING

(sung to the Billy Joel song “We Didn’t Start The Fire”)

Ronald Reagan, Larry Craig, Mark Sanford, Tom Delay
Michelle Malkin, Michele Bachmann, “Goin’ with the flow”

Joe McCarthy, Richard Nixon, Howard Baker, lack of vision
Spreading Fear, Acting queer, and ole Sixpack Joe

No icebergs, H-Bomb, “Pay for play”, “Hockey Mom”
Landrieu, Hamid Karzai, and that Michael Savage guy

Ivy tower, Van Flein, Tea-bagger party scene
Party of “No”, Tim Pawlenty, Let’s watch Glenn Beck cry

These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it

Vitter’s fallin’, Ginny Foxx, Boehner and Inhofe
Mitch McConnell, small umbrella, Talking the talk

Spin Zone, Rent to own, Straight martini, Bank loan
Russian view and Pastor Haggard’s flock

Sex crimes, Grassley, John McCain is “Mavericky”
Lining pockets, health care plan, Giuliani, Limbaugh Land

Barrasso, Fake protest, Tom “The Hammer”, Chambliss
Senate race, Lack of grace, and Melvin Martinez

These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it

Loaded Glock, SarahPAC, Sam Alito, Johnny Mack
Jindal, Right to die, Tripp’s father is Levi

Pentagon, Border wall, We must deport them all
Bed-wetters, genocide, No assisted suicide

Bush’s folly, Torture, Dick Cheney, Blackwater
Hate groups, Castro, John Ensign and his ‘ho

First Dude, Hannity, Mann Coulter and O’Reilly
Scooter Libby, Karl Rove, Sarah Palin’s “Sixpack Joes”

These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it

Kay Bailey, Muslims, K Street is full of bums
Villains, Pearlman, Iraqi Invasion

Health reform hysteria, Sarah Palin mania
Shameless G-Men, War in Afghanistan

Ron Paul, Airport sex, They don’t want no litmus test
Kneel and pray, Always “nay”, Can’t get married if you’re gay

These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it

Birth control, Lives of sin, They like folks that have white skin
Buckshot, Dow stock, Loud mouthed chicken-hawks
Takin’ Bacon, Palestine, Palin is no friend of mine
Now they have nukes in Iran, Couldn’t stop the Taliban

Makin’ fortunes, Soldiers die, Did we mention Glenn Beck cried?
Foreign debts, Homeless vets, Exposed by three jets
We voted them out the door, Now they’re just a mouse that roars
Spider holes and unjust wars, I can’t take them anymore.

These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it
(repeat chorus to fade)

Conservatve “National Review” Tells Gingrich To Quit And Romney To Tell The Truth

The very conservative and influential (at least to Tea Baggers) National Review magazine appears to be supporting Rick Santorum in his quest for the Republican Presidential nomination. This support however, does not appear to have been earned by Santorum’s actions or policies, but rather as the result of dissatisfaction with both Newt Gingrich and Mitt Romney.

Indeed, on Monday the magazine straight out called for Gingrich to quit the race. The magazine states, “it would be a grave mistake for the party to make someone with such poor judgment and persistent unpopularity its presidential nominee.” The editorial indicates that by the same criticisms that Gingrich levied against Santorum earlier in the campaign, “on his own arguments the proper course for him now is to endorse Santorum and exit.” Ouch! That is sure to leave a vivid and lingering mark.

As for Mitt Romney, the magazine describes the architect of RomneyCare as follows:

“the undramatic figure at the center of the primaries’ drama. Lack of enthusiasm for him has set it all in motion. Romney is trying to win the nomination by pulverizing his rivals. His hope is that enthusiasm will follow when he takes on Obama in the summer and fall. But his attacks on Santorum have been lame, perhaps because they are patently insincere. (Does anyone believe that Romney truly thinks poorly of Santorum’s votes to raise the debt ceiling?)”

The National Review prescribes the following for him:

“Romney is a transactional politician rather than a charismatic one. Maybe he should make the most of it: Tell conservatives what they will get out of a Romney presidency. Entitlements brought under budgetary control. A more market-oriented health-care system. Judges who know their place in the constitutional architecture. Fannie and Freddie extinguished. The defense budget protected. Tax reform, and tax relief for families.”

The magazine seems to be unaware of the obvious however, when it comes to Mitt Romney. The fact is that nobody can trust Romney to do what he says. After all he has flip-flopped regarding his position on abortion; health care reform; gun rights; contraception; climate change; Don’t Ask Don’t Tell; Ronald Reagan and no tax pledges. Romney even flip-flopped on what he said was his favorite book in just a span of a few days (first it was L. Ron Hubbard’s “Battlefield Earth” and then it was “Huckleberry Finn”).

Perhaps conservatives should simply face the facts and believe what Romney said in a moment of veracity while running for Governor of Massachusetts in 2002:

“I think people recognize that I’m not a partisan Republican, that I’m someone who is moderate, and my views are progressive.”

No matter who is named the eventual Republican nominee, there is one person who will be smiling. President Barack Obama.

Since it appears that more and more Republicans are urging Newt Gingrich to go away, our song parody today will focus on the man who is soon to be forgotten history. Please remember to click on the song link below before reading the lyrics because it is so much more fun to sing along while the actual song is playing.

You’re A Mean One Mr. Grinch song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nzXKWKaxt3c

YOU’RE A HAS-BEEN, NEWT GINGRICH

(sung to the Dr. Seuss song “The Grinch That Stole Christmas”)

You’re a has-been, Newt Gingrich
You’re lacking in appeal
Your were ousted as The Speaker
No one wants to hear you squeal
Newt Gingrich

You’re a unicycle
Without even one wheel

You’ve had three wives, Newt Gingrich
A mistress in the hole
Philandering’s your day job
You’re a slimy ugly troll
Newt Gingich

These woman that like you, must
Be on work release or parole

You’re a vile one, Newt Gingrich
Your words reek with rancid bile
Your criticism of Bill Clinton
As you’re cheating all the while
Newt Gingrich

There couldn’t be a bigger hypocrite
Within a Midwest country mile

You’re a foul one, Newt Gingrich
Your first divorce smelled of skunk
Your wife, Jackie fighting cancer
You told her she was junk
Newt Gingrich

The nicest words to describe you,
Are, as follows, and I quote, Pink. Wank, Punk

You’re a coward, Newt Gingrich
Avoided your army spot
Deferment-seeking chicken-hawk
That likes to talk real tough
Newt Gingrich

Your soul is an appalling dump heap overflowing
With the most disgraceful assortment of Republican
Sound-bytes imaginable,
Mangled up in tangled up knots

You’re the racist, Newt Gingrich
It’s not Judge Sotomayor
You play the race card as a white guy
That’s so laughable I’m sure
Newt Gingrich

You’re a stinking pile of vomit
Sitting in the sun
With feces on top

The Free-Fall Of Ron Paul

How fortunate that wacky Republican Ron Paul announced his candidacy for the 2012 presidency on a Friday the 13th. He now has a ready-made excuse for why his campaign was such an abysmal failure. Despite what the pundits constantly refer to as Paul’s fervently devoted group of grassroots supporters and Tea Party nut-jobs, nobody seems to ever vote for this guy. In Iowa he garnered a respectable 21% of the vote but finished only third. In the New Hampshire primary election, his percentage of the vote plateaued at 22% and in South Carolina his support dropped to 13%. It remains to be seen how low his support will drop today in the Florida primary election.

We knew that, as always, Ron Paul’s candidacy would go nowhere.  He is after all, a radical crazy person. If you need evidence of Ron Paul’s zaniness, consider these tidbits:

–  He is known as “Dr. No” because of his insistence that he will “never vote for legislation unless the proposed measure is expressly authorized by the Constitution;

– He advocates withdrawal from the United Nations, and from the North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO);

– He opposes birthright citizenship;

– He advocates for the elimination of the Federal Reserve;

– He would deny women their right of freedom of choice in birth;

– He believes that the civil Rights act of 1964 is unconstitutional; and

– He would rather have sick people die from their illnesses than receive government provided health care.

Now let’s take a look at some of Ron Paul’s quotes as published in his newsletters:

– “Boy, it sure burns me to have a national holiday for that pro-communist philanderer Martin Luther King. I voted against this outrage time and time again as a Congressman. What an infamy that Ronald Reagan approved it! We can thank him for our annual Hate Whitey Day.”;

– “even in my little town of Lake Jackson, Texas, I’ve urged everyone in my family to know how to use a gun in self defense. For the animals are coming.”;

– “opinion polls consistently show only about 5% of blacks have sensible political opinions”;

– “if you have ever been robbed by a black teen-aged male, you know how unbelievably fleet-footed they can be.”; and

– “hip-hop thing to do among the urban youth who play unsuspecting whites like pianos.” (referring to the crime of carjacking).

This is scary stuff. Is it any wonder that this man is never taken very seriously by the majority of Americans?

Nevertheless, Ron Paul does have the capacity to do some good for his country. He demonstrated that this last autumn when he decided not to seek re-election to his Texas House of Representatives seat. Consequently, there is certain to be one less radical insane person in the next Congress. Also, there is always the possibility that as soon as Paul realizes that he has no chance of capturing the Republican nomination, he may decide to run as either an Independent or a third party candidate. He would still have absolutely no chance of being elected, but he would steal a certain percentage of votes form the Republican nominee (Mitt Romney or Newt Gingrich) thereby helping Barack Obama to win the general election.

Do the right thing Mr. Paul.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Piano Man” song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dBC6IVP-C84

TEA BAGGING MEN (RON PAUL VERSION)

(sung to the Billy Joel song “Piano Man”)

It’s nine o’clock on a Saturday
Rand Paul comes marching in
A proud member of the Tea Party
Like so many white racist men

He says, “Boy you know that I’m from Kentucky
And I think that Obama blows
It was sad and back-street how he chastised BP
Just because their damn oil rigs explode”

La la la, di da da
La la, di di da da dum

Sing us a song you Tea-Bagging men
Sing us a song tonight
Give us some patriotic imagery
Tri-corn hats and a wig that’s too tight

Now Sarah Palin is no friend of mine
Thank God she’s not the VP
Yes she looked like a dope every time she misspoke
As McCain claimed she was “mavericky”

She says, “Why does the press keep on grilling me?”
As her smile runs away from her face
“Can’t they see I’m a tabloid-bred superstar,
Though I quit my job in disgrace?”

Oh, la la la, di da da
La la, di da da da dum

Ron Paul is a right-wing apologist
He is anti-gay and pro-life
Grasp of history’s hazy and he’s moon-bat crazy
Ron Paul should be confined for life

And Scott Walker’s union-busting politics
Sparked a recall to get him de-throned
While Mike Huckabee thinks his “down-hominess”
Will coax liberals to leave him alone

Sing us a song you Tea-Bagging men
Sing us a song tonight
Give us some patriotic imagery
Tri-corn hats and a wig that’s too tight

Had a pretty big crowd just last Saturday
With the Tea Baggers dressed in high style
They were at a rally with signs misspelled badly
To express ignorance all the while

And the town common, it looks like a carnival
With the Tea Baggers from far and near
They unload from their cars lots of feathers and tar
As they fan flames of hatred and fear!

Oh, la la la, di da da
La la, di da da da dum

Sing us your song you Tea Bagging men
Sing us your song tonight
Cuz we’re all in the mood for a melody
Sung by folks that are old, dumb and white

(fade into extinction)

Gingich Gets Caught In Latest Lie About His “Open” Marriage!!!

Republican presidential candidate and serial-adulterer Newt Gingrich got caught in yet another lie this week.

Gingrich considers himself to be an historian and he certainly has a long personal history of lying. He has falsely claimed to have been hired as an historian and paid $1.6 million by Govt.-backed mortgage giant Freddie Mac when in fact, he was paid to further the entity’s legislative agenda (better known as lobbying). He has falsely claimed that there have been no oil spills from offshore drilling near Santa Barbara, CA since 1969 when in fact there 2 such spills in 2008 alone. He has falsely claimed that Republican Governor Mitch Daniels of Indiana should be honored for having the lowest unemployment rate in his region when in fact, Indiana has does not have the lowest unemployment in its region and several states with lower unemployment rates were governed by Democrats.

Gingrich has recently been  falsely claiming that the economy is worse and  jobs have not been created since President Obama has been in office. This may be one of his biggest lies. The truth is that for the last several months prior to Obama’s election, the economy was losing between 600,000 and 800,00 jobs per month. Indeed, U.S. nonfarm employment stood at just more than 137 million jobs in July 2008, before the already-under-way recession turned into a nosedive following that September’s financial crisis. By January, when Obama took office, the figure had fallen to about 133.5 million — a loss of about 3.5 million jobs, according to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics and an additional 4.3 million jobs were lost before Obama’s stimulus policies took hold in February 2010. From that date onward however, the economy has added (not lost) jobs for 23 out of the last 24 months. Since that job growth resumed, the economy has added about 3 million jobs. Additionally, The gross domestic product, the prime measure of economic strength, shrank by a severe 6.8 percent annual rate before Obama became president. The declines eased after he took office and economic growth, however modest, has resumed. Also, the recession officially ended six months into Obama’s presidency. The facts prove that there is no denying that the economy has improved under Obama.

Gingrich’s latest lie concerns his second wife’s assertion that Newt wanted an “open” marriage with her so that he could continue carrying-on extra-marital sexual affairs with her blessing. Marianne Gingrich claimed in the ABC interview that her husband asked for an open marriage while he was having an extramarital affair with his current wife, Callista Gingrich. Gingrich said his former wife was lying and during the CNN-sponsored Republican debate in Florida he said,

“The story was false. Every personal friend I have who knew us in that period says the story is false. We offered several of them to ABC to prove it was false. They weren’t interested.”

A few days after that debate, during an interview on CNN, host John King pursued Gingrich’s allegation by stating that ABC News has insisted that no such witnesses were produced. Gingrich in turn, doubled down and said that ABC News‘ defense was “just plain baloney”. he went on to say,

“If they’re saying that, then they’re not being honest. We had several people prepared to be very clear and very aggressive in their dispute about that, and (ABC News) wasn’t interested.”

Gingrich’s statement was a lie. Yesterday his campaign conceded that the candidate was wrong, both in his debate answer and in his interview with CNN on Tuesday. R.C. Hammond, the campaign’s press secretary, told CNN the only people the campaign offered to ABC News were the speaker’s two daughters from his first wife who make regular appearances for their father on the campaign trail. Furthermore, the two daughters did not dispute the allegation that Gingrich requested an “open” marriage with his second wife, but only wrote a letter discouraging ABC  News to release the interview with her.

The only question remaining is, does Newt Gingrich have more extra-marital affairs or lies in his background? Enquiring minds want to know.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

I Am Woman song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MGMESM8JKOg

I AM GINGRICH

(sung to the Helen Reddy song “I Am Woman”)

I am Gingrich, hear me snore
The G.O.P. showed me the door
In ’98, I was thrown out on my rear end
‘cause I called for a class war
When Clinton dallied with that whore
So what if I also had a lady friend

Oh yes I’m despised
And I caused a lot of pain
I’ve been married thrice
And I will wed again
Remember, “Contract With America”
I was wrong (wrong)
Now I’m invisible (invisible)
I am Gingrich

Now I’ve shown you that I’m tasteless
By calling Sonia a racist
When I’m the guy that bloviates on ghettos
My lies will grow much stronger
And my nose will grow much longer
When I start to call Sotomayor a “Hoe”

Oh yes I’m despised
And I caused a lot of pain
I’ve been married thrice
And I will wed again
Remember, “Contract With America”
I was wrong (wrong)
Now I’m invisible (invisible)
I am Gingrich

I am Gingrich don’t you know
Democrats know that I blow
Fox News spreads my fat visage across the land
And I’ll use those embryos
And those nameless “baby does”
If it helps me to advance my final stand

Oh yes I’m despised
And I caused a lot of pain
I’ve been married thrice
And I will wed again
Remember, “Contract With America”
I am wrong (wrong)
And I’m invisible (invisible)
I am Gingrich
Oh, I am Gingrich
I am invisible
I am wrong

(Fading)
I am Gingrich
I am invisible
I am wrong
I am Gingrich

Carville Carves Up Republican Presidential Candidates

Sometimes you must honestly admit that someone else has addressed a topic in a far better than you could have done yourself. Such is the case for me today.

On Saturday, Democratic strategist James Carville wrote a column which was posted on the CNN website here. It is titled “Carville to GOP: You have a disaster on your hands” and it is a gem. It colorfully describes the mess that is the field of Republican Presidential candidates. Here are some of my favorite excerpts:

I mean, most people thought it was kind of a watermark when your Tea Party gang booed the golden rule (at the Fox Debate). You know, I’ve spent some time in Philly and they have always thought they were pretty radical because they actually booed Santa Claus and Willie Mays. Philly, I’ve got news for you — you ain’t got nothing on South Carolina Republicans. They just aren’t buying any of that do-unto-others garbage.”

Here is another beauty:

“I actually thought my favorite moment of this delightful process was when one of your eight front-runners, Herb Cain, (as Sarah Palin calls him) actually ran an ad with his campaign manager endorsing him. (Rove, why didn’t you think of that in 2000? Imagine the headline: “Rove endorses Bush.”)”

This sums up Mitt Romney’s campaign pretty well:

“At any rate, let’s talk a minute about Mitt. He was your guy — he was methodical, meticulous, married once. He has completely blown himself up over an issue that everyone knew was coming. Have you had a chance to look at John McCain’s research operation on Mitt? Wow. And let me assure you, that thing has been supplemented, expanded, and annotated. God only knows about the Obama people — they’ve got a billion dollars! And how about my friends over at American Bridge, the Democrat-leaning political action committee? Clearly Mitt is merely in the beginning of this tax-return, financial-disclosure, Cayman Island (and God only knows what else) fiasco.”

This is what he had to say about Newt Gingrich:

“Your new front-runner is one of your old front runners, Newt Gingrich. I would like to take a moment to revel: I cannot personally tell you how pleased I am to see old Newt rise to the top after listening to all of your nauseating, sickening lectures on the evils of government and the importance of family values.Now, you guys have to deal with a $1.6 million Freddie Mac consultant (who says he wasn’t a lobbyist) who has been married three times. Hope you, at least, enjoy the Super Bowl. It could be your last hurrah for a while.”

Finally, he concluded with this:

“PS — As my former boss once said, I feel your pain. That’s why I didn’t mention Rick Perry.”

Bravo Mr. Carville! Priceless stuff!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

“All Together Now” song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LtjhW-ERoak

ALL TOGETHER NOW

 (sung to the Beatles song “All Together Now”)

One, two, three, four
Rick Perry’s a Texan whore
Five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten I loathe you

A, B, C, D
Bachmann’s drinking too much tea
E, F, G, H, I, J I loathe you

Boom, bam, boom
Boom, bam, boom

Mitt’s a dip
Boom, bam, boom
Newt’s crazy
Boom, bam, boom
Paul’s a dope
Boom, bam, boom
Where’s Christie?

All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now

Black, white, green, red
Listen to what Herm Cain said
Pink, brown, yellow, orange and blue I loathe you

All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now

Rick’s a twit
Boom, bam, boom
Jon’s a dweeb
Boom, bam, boom
Not a hope
Boom, bam, boom
Nobodies!

All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now….

Sarah Palin Is Gingrich’s Newest Mistress!

The Christmas season may be over but progressive bloggers just received another present. Lo and behold, Sarah Palin has reemerged (no word on whether or not she saw her shadow).

Just prior to the Republican South Carolina primary election (and dutifully following in the footsteps of husband Todd “First Dude” Palin), Sarah Palin has endorsed Newt “3 Wives” Gingrich. She did so while appearing on Sean Hannity’s Fox News show (where else?). When Hannity asked Palin if she would endorse Gingrich she said, “If I had to vote in South Carolina, in order to keep this thing going, I’d vote for Newt.”

The next day after receiving Palin’s endorsement, the serial-philandering Newt Gingrich made an announcement and promise of his very own. While appearing on CNN‘s Wolf Blitzer show (what? Not Fox?), Gingrich was asked whether he would consider naming Sarah Palin his Vice Presidential running mate in light of her endorsement. Gingrich replied as follows: “I would ask her to consider taking a major role in the next administration if I’m president…”.

A “major role” in a Presidential administration generally means a cabinet appointment. Can you imagine the likes of Sarah Palin having a cabinet position? Yikes! What particular position might that be?

Secretary of State:  Nope. Palin believes that North Korea is our ally;

Secretary of Defense:  Nope. Palin has a “trigger finger” as demonstrated on her reality television show;

Secretary of Labor:  Not a chance. There are too many questions surrounding her own labor while carrying her fifth child.

Secretary of Transportation:  Nope. An in-depth knowledge of the working of snow-machines is not a qualification;

Secretary of Agriculture:  Nope. Not much agriculture in the snowy wilds of Alaska;

Secretary of Education:  Nope. Palin is shockingly unqualified for this position inasmuch as it took her 6 years and 5 different colleges to earn a mere bachelor’s degree. Also, have you ever heard her try to speak? Her unfamiliarity with American history was on display when she said that Paul Revere was warning the British by means of firing musket shots and ringing bells on his famous “Midnight Ride”;

Secretary of Energy: “Drill Baby, Drill” – No Chance;

Secretary of Housing and Urban Development:  Nope. Palin has never been in an urban area for any period of time and have you noticed the lack of building codes in Alaska? If not, go to the beautiful City of Wasilla sometime;

Secretary of Health and Human Services:  Nope. I refer you to the aforementioned wild plane rides while in labor with her 5th child;

Secretary of Veterans Affairs:  Nope. She has a publicly stated hatred for entitlements of all kinds;

Secretary of Commerce:  Nope. she played too loose and fast with her own PAC’s funds and she charged the taxpayers of Alaska for all those plane trips and hotels enjoyed by her children. Don’t forget all those expensive RNC-purchased clothes that she never returned;

Secretary of Homeland Security:  Nope. Palin mistakenly thinks that when “Putin raises his head and enters U.S. airspace”, he does so over Alaska;

Secretary of Treasury:  Nope. See Secretary of Commerce;

Attorney General: Nope. She is not qualified to be an attorney; and

UN Ambassador:  God help us!

Perhaps Newt Gingrich should simply consider appointing Sarah Palin to the only secretary position she is qualified for. She spends so much time on Facebook and Twitter, that she would be an excellent data entry clerk in the general secretarial pool.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Copacabana song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JMHp9a5FwrI

COPACAVILLA

(sung to the Barry Manilow song “Copacabana”)

Her name was Sarah, She was a schoolgirl
With lots of style gel in her hair and a dress cut down to there
She used to play flute, and she was Todd’s type
And yes she was a sportscaster, a job that she could not master
Although she was a pup, with Todd she got knocked-up
They were young and they had each other
Just a mere hiccup

At the Copa, Copacavilla
The hottest spot north of Wasilla
At the Copa, Copacavilla
Those rimless glasses made them look like asses
At the Copa…they fell in love

(Copa Copacavilla)

His name was Toddie, she liked his body
They got married one fine day, He insisted he’s not gay
They said a prayer, then she was mayor
But to add some attitude, she changed his name to the “First Dude”
Sarah then hired some crooks, and then she banned some books
There was trouble with city contracts
So they cooked the books

At the Copa, Copacavilla
The hottest spot north of Wasilla
At the Copa, Copacavilla
Handouts and kickbacks and lots of “Joe Sixpacks”
At the Copa…next it was Guv

(Copa..Copacavilla)
(Copa Copacavilla) (Copacavilla, ahh ahh ahh ahh)
(Ahh ahh ahh ahh Copa Copacavilla)
(Wasilla,  rhymes with vanilla)
(Dumbness and fashion… were always her passion)

Her name is Sarah, she is the Guv’nor
She even tried to be V.P.,  cuz she was so damn “Mavericky”
That was a pipedream for our gal, Sarah
The job was above her pay-grade. More substance in lemonade
Her inlaw getting high. Now she just hates Levi
She lost the race and she lost her mojo
Now she’s lost her mind!

At the Copa (CO), Copacavilla (Copacavilla)
The hottest spot north of Wasilla (Here)
At the Copa (CO), Copacavilla
No education. Unwed procreation
At the Copa…That’s our dear Guv

(Copa) That’s our dear Guv
Copacavilla
Copacavilla
(Fade to end)