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Last Call For Ron Paul

How fortunate that wacky Republican Ron Paul announced his candidacy for the 2012 presidency on a Friday the 13th. He now has a ready-made excuse for why his campaign was such an abysmal failure. Despite what the pundits constantly referred to as Paul’s fervently devoted group of grassroots supporters and Tea Party nut-jobs, nobody seemed to ever actually vote for this guy. He failed to win even one single Republican primary election. Not surprisingly, Ron Paul suspended his campaign yesterday leaving Mitt Romney as the only GOP candidate left in the race.

It was obvious from the beginning that Ron Paul’s candidacy would go nowhere.  He is after all, a radical crazy person. If you need evidence of Ron Paul’s zaniness, consider these tidbits:

–  He is known as “Dr. No” because of his insistence that he will “never vote for legislation unless the proposed measure is expressly authorized by the Constitution;

– He advocates withdrawal from the United Nations, and from the North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO);

– He opposes birthright citizenship;

– He advocates for the elimination of the Federal Reserve;

– He would deny women their right of freedom of choice in birth;

– He believes that the civil Rights act of 1964 is unconstitutional; and

– He would rather have sick people die from their illnesses than receive government provided health care.

Now let’s take a look at some of Ron Paul’s quotes as published in his newsletters:

– “Boy, it sure burns me to have a national holiday for that pro-communist philanderer Martin Luther King. I voted against this outrage time and time again as a Congressman. What an infamy that Ronald Reagan approved it! We can thank him for our annual Hate Whitey Day.”;

– “even in my little town of Lake Jackson, Texas, I’ve urged everyone in my family to know how to use a gun in self defense. For the animals are coming.”;

– “opinion polls consistently show only about 5% of blacks have sensible political opinions”;

– “if you have ever been robbed by a black teen-aged male, you know how unbelievably fleet-footed they can be.”; and

– “hip-hop thing to do among the urban youth who play unsuspecting whites like pianos.” (referring to the crime of carjacking).

This is scary stuff. Is it any wonder that this man is never taken very seriously by the majority of Americans?

Nevertheless, Ron Paul does have the capacity to do some good for his country. He demonstrated this last autumn when he decided not to seek re-election to his Texas House of Representatives seat. Consequently, there is certain to be one less radical insane person in the next Congress. Also, there is always the possibility that  he may decide to run as either an Independent or a third party candidate. He would still have absolutely no chance of being elected, but he would steal a certain percentage of votes form Romney thereby helping Barack Obama to win the general election.

Do the right thing Mr. Paul.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Piano Man” song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=se9rfWucgeY

TEA BAGGING MEN (RON PAUL VERSION)

(sung to the Billy Joel song “Piano Man”)

It’s nine o’clock on a Saturday
Rand Paul comes marching in
A proud member of the Tea Party
Like so many white racist men

He says, “Boy you know that I’m from Kentucky
And I think that Obama blows
It was sad and back-street how he chastised BP
Just because their damn oil rigs explode”

La la la, di da da
La la, di di da da dum

Sing us a song you Tea-Bagging men
Sing us a song tonight
Give us some patriotic imagery
Tri-corn hats and a wig that’s too tight

Now Sarah Palin is no friend of mine
Thank God she’s not the VP
Yes she looked like a dope every time she misspoke
As McCain claimed she was “mavericky”

She says, “Why does the press keep on grilling me?”
As her smile runs away from her face
“Can’t they see I’m a tabloid-bred superstar,
Though I quit my job in disgrace?”

Oh, la la la, di da da
La la, di da da da dum

Ron Paul is a right-wing apologist
He is anti-gay and pro-life
Grasp of history’s hazy and he’s moon-bat crazy
Ron Paul should be confined for life

And Scott Walker’s union-busting politics
Sparked a recall to get him de-throned
While Mike Huckabee thinks his “down-hominess”
Will coax liberals to leave him alone

Sing us a song you Tea-Bagging men
Sing us a song tonight
Give us some patriotic imagery
Tri-corn hats and a wig that’s too tight

Had a pretty big crowd just last Saturday
With the Tea Baggers dressed in high style
They were at a rally with signs misspelled badly
To express ignorance all the while

And the town common, it looks like a carnival
With the Tea Baggers from far and near
They unload from their cars lots of feathers and tar
As they fan flames of hatred and fear!

Oh, la la la, di da da
La la, di da da da dum

Sing us your song you Tea Bagging men
Sing us your song tonight
Cuz we’re all in the mood for a melody
Sung by folks that are old, dumb and white

(fade into extinction)

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Waiting For The Palin-Thing

As we approach the Labor Day weekend and the de-facto end of summer, there is very little earth-shattering news to report about other than that earthquake off Alaska. Indeed, there is very little political news at all. All we have is the never-ending will-she or won’t-she talk about Sarah Palin. No, we are not wondering whether she will announce her run for the presidency this weekend. She will not. Rather, as always, we must wonder whether she will even show-up at her scheduled speeches In Iowa and New Hampshire.

In typical Palin fashion, the former ex-quitting half-term Gov. of Alaska has enveloped herself in confusion. First she informed us that she would be making an important speech at a Tea Party event in Iowa. Then she announced that she would also be speaking in New Hampshire. She then said that as the result of unspecified problems she was having with the Tea Party organizers, that she might forfeit that event and do something else in Iowa. Now she claims that she will in fact appear at the original Iowa event. Confused? You should be.

Sarah Palin is one strange duck. Let’s take a look at how the Palin-thing was unleashed on America in the first place.

Just three short years ago almost nobody had ever heard of Sarah Palin. The G.O.P. was led by such familiar names as Mitt Romney, Rudy Giuliani, a resurgent Newt Gingrich and the actor Fred Thompson. Then the unexpected happened. Somehow the centrist John McCain won the Republican Presidential nomination. McCain however, was trailing Democrat Barack Obama by such a wide margin that he was forced to do something drastic in order to draw some attention to his campaign. Much like the literary Dr. Frankenstein, McCain was compelled to create some life from scratch. He stitched together some uber-right-wing conservatism, some female DNA, some down-home colloquialisms, a beehive hairdo and some rimless glasses. His handmade creation was Sarah Palin.

Much like Dr. Frankentein’s monster however, the McCain creation also suffered from some fatal flaws. They both had a damaged brain. Each became stronger and more identifiable than its creator. Both wreaked havoc on society and in the end, the Frankenstein monster and Sarah Palin each turned against their respective creators.

The Palin thing was alive, ALIVE! This 21st century mindless monster quit her job and stumbled out of the wilds of Alaska on her way to the Lower 48. Unable to master the written word, the pathetic creature hired a ghostwriter to pen her fictitious memoir. Unable to master the spoken word, Palin turned to Twitter and Facebook as her means of communication and wrote crib-notes on her hands. Unable to appear human on television, she was forced to appear repeatedly on Fox News and in her own reality tv series. The thing that became known as PALIN  sowed fear into the hearts of all uneducated conservatives with her horrific tales of “death panels”, the godless land of Russia that she could see by means of her super-human vision and of her arch enemy, the would-be monster slayer, author Joe McGinniss.

Unlike the Frankenstein monster however, the Palin thing began to amass a large and adoring following. Sure, these devotees were comprised of racist, white, uneducated homophobes from the lowest rung of the food chain, but beggars can’t be choosers. The Palin thing’s fan base became known as the Tea Party (presumably because it is believed that something was slipped into their tea). These Tea-Baggers are a mindless lot that confusingly wants no government control over their government controlled Medicare and Social Security benefits. They hate the Obama administration because of his fictitious tax increases despite the fact that over 95% of them have actually benefited from the President’s middle class tax cuts. These Tea-Baggers have crowned the Palin thing as their de facto queen.

The Palin thing’s Tea Party royalty status is the biggest problem for the creature’s former party.  Before John McCain’s monster was created, the whacko Tea-Baggers were all firmly entrenched members of the Republican Party. They voted in lockstep for every Republican they could find thereby ensuring at least some electoral success for the party. The creation of the Palin thing has changed all of that. The Tea-Baggers are now actively seeking candidates from within their own super-radical ranks. These Tea Party candidates are so out of the mainstream that they oppose meaningful portions of the Civil Rights Act (Rand Paul). They hope to privatize Medicare and Social Security (Rand Paul, Paul Ryan), criminalize the consumption of alcohol (Sharron Angle), deregulate the oil industry (despite the Gulf oil spill) (Rand Paul), abolish the Dept. of Education (too many to name here), ban masturbation (Christine O’Donnell) and even remove fluoride from the nation’s water supply (Sharron Angle). This is crazy stuff.

Crazy, but Sarah Palin supports these radical views. Indeed, The National Review reports that she will use her speech in Iowa to defend the Tea Party against the criticism that it is an uncompromising bunch of misinformed idiots. ABC News adds that Palin’s speech will be a “full-throated defense of the Tea Party.” So there you have it. Sarah Palin will continue dithering as to whether she will run for President through at least the end of September. Guess we will have to keep on waiting for Palin.

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xj2bmQ4P4cM

SARAH PALIN’S CRAZY BRAIN-DEAD CLAN

(sung to the Beatles song “Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band”)

About twenty years ago or so,
Sarah Palin married Todd her beau
They’ve been trying to enhance her style
With rimless glasses and a great big smile
So may I introduce to you
The folks you’ve known for all these years,
Sarah Palin’s crazy brain-dead clan.

We’re Sarah Palin’s crazy brain-dead clan,
The folks that you’ve all come to know
We’re Sarah Palin’s crazy brain-dead clan,
You wouldn’t want to be our foe.

Sarah Palin’s crazy, Sarah Palin’s crazy,
Sarah Palin’s crazy brain-dead clan.

She loves to instill deep fear
“Death panels” if you will
We are her brain-dead audience,
We’d love to take her home with us,
We’d love to take her home.

We don’t really want to end this show,
But Track Palin just produced some blow.
And now Bristol’s firing-up her bong
Sarah says that they can do no wrong

So let us bid adieu, to you
We’ve been with you for the last three years
We’re Sarah Palin’s Crazy Brain-Dead Clan.

A Few Tasty Tid-Bits On Which To Chew

While awaiting the outcome of the House Republicans’ internal civil war (Tea Baggers v. Entrenched Incumbents) to see if they can pass a debt ceiling bill which is nevertheless doomed to failure in the Senate, let’s take a look at what else is going on in the world of politics and punditry.

REPUBLICAN INFIGHTING CONTINUES:  Republican Sen. John McCain on Wednesday said ultimatums issued by many in his conference, like insisting on a balanced budget amendment to the constitution that he said will not become law, are “worse than foolish.” Today, freshman Tea Party backed Rep. Joe Walsh (you know, the fiscal conservative who is so conservative that he fails to pay his own child support) said, “Folks like Sen. John McCain have been in this town for too long and they’re the ones who have gotten us into this mess year after year after year. Folks like him … have no clue as to the troubles Americans are going through right now. They don’t understand this crisis anymore.” It is so satisfying watching Republicans eat their own.

MICHELE BACHMANN CONTINUES TO BURY HER HEAD IN THE SAND:  Despite the fact that every economic expert and financial adviser warns that a failure to raise the debt ceiling will have disastrous effects on the US economy including a devaluation of the dollar, rising interest rates, an increasing national debt caused by higher interest rates and a loss of faith from other nations, Michele Bachmann continues to insist that there is no problem. Today she said, “I do not believe for one moment that we will lose the full faith and credit of the United States.” She also said she plans to vote against the latest proposal from House Speaker John Boehner that would raise the debt limit and reduce the deficit. Is anyone surprised, after all Bachmann also denies the theory of evolution.

TEXAS GOVERNOR RICK PERRY DECLARES THAT HE WILL NOT MARRY A MAN:  In an interview today with Family Research Council President Tony Perkins, the potential GOP presidential candidate said, “gay marriage is not fine with me.” OK Rick, so don’t marry a man. Does that work for you?

NEWT GINGRICH’S CAMPAIGN SUFFERS ANOTHER BLOW:  First it was Tiffany-Gate when the nation learned that the self-described frugal fiscal conservative had run up a line of credit approaching a million dollars at the posh jewelry store. Next, virtually every one of his important campaign staff abruptly quit on him. Then we learned that his presidential campaign is over $1 million in debt. And today it was revealed that the man who proclaims that he will bring manufacturing jobs back to the United States has his “Newt 2012” t-shirts manufactured in El Salvador. Ouch! Stick a fork in Gingrich cuz he’s done.


CAPITOL HILL TEA PARTY RALLY IS A FLOP: 
Tea Party Express and the American Grassroots Coalition staged a really, really big Tea Party rally on Capitol Holl this week featuring such Teapublican heroes as Presidential candidate Herman Cain, conservative Sens. Jim DeMint of South Carolina, Rand Paul of Kentucky and Mike Lee of Utah. It has been reported by Politico.com however, that virtually no Tea Baggers bothered to show up. “At the start of the rally… there were roughly 15 attendees waiting to hear the conservative lawmakers speak. By the time the senators had spoken there were still fewer than 50 tea partiers in attendance. You will also recall that the annual Tea Party Convention was also recently cancelled for lack of interest. Looks like the Tea Party’s 15 minutes are officially over.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Garden Party song link:  http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x89fev_ricky-nelson-garden-party_music

TEA BAG PARTY

(sung to the Ricky Nelson song “Garden Party”)

I went to a Tea Bag party hoping to make some brand new friends
But they became my enemies, those right wing racist men
When I got to the Tea Bag party, they all looked the same
That really surprised me, and no one had a brain

But its all right now, I learned my lesson well
You see, ya can’t please everyone, so ya got to please yourself

Crazies there from miles around, mostly with white hair
Locals brought their shotguns, there was hatred in the air
‘n’ over in the corner, not to my surprise
Sarah Palin sportin’ thigh-high boots while she winked her eyes.

But its all right now, I learned my lesson well
You see, ya can’t please everyone, so they can go to hell

Lot-in-dah-dah-dah, lot-in-dah-dah-dah

Told them they were so wrong, Glenn Beck is insane
Drill Baby, Drill’s stupid,  and Palin is to blame
I said Rand Paul is crazy too, best not drink his tea
Then I told them things about Michele Bachmann they would not believe

But its all right now, I learned my lesson well
You see, ya can’t please everyone, so they can go to hell

Lot-dah-dah-dah (lot-dah-dah-dah)
Lot-in-dah-dah-dah

Someone opened up a closet door and donned a white pointy hood
Punching his railroad ticket to Hell and just the way he should
If you’re goin’ to a Tea Bag party, I wish you a lotta luck
Bring a misspelled sign, use racist slang and drive a pick-up truck

But its all right now, I learned my lesson well
You see, ya can’t please everyone, so ya got to please yourself

Lot-dah-dah-dah (lot-dah-dah-dah)
Lot-in-dah-dah-dah

But its all right now, I learned my lesson well
You see, ya can’t please everyone, so ya got to please yourself

A Saturday List To Think About And Comment Upon

Please read this list and then describe what thought comes to mind in the comment section:

  • Glenn Beck
  • Ron Paul
  • Rush Limbaugh
  • Donald Trump
  • Michelle Malkin
  • Newt Gingrich
  • Ann Coulter
  • Michele Bachmann
  • Sean Hannity
  • Sarah Palin
  • Laura Ingraham
  • Rand Paul
  • Tucker Carlson
  • Rudi Giuliani
  • Christine O’Donnell
  • Larry Craig
  • Michael Savage
  • David Vitter
  • Scott Brown
  • Dick Morris
  • Fox News
  • Dick Cheney
  • Tea Party

Here’s what comes to my mind:

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Strangers In The Night song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hlSbSKNk9f0&feature=related

STRANGE ONES ON THE RIGHT

(sung to the Frank Sinatra song “Strangers In The Night”)

Strange ones on the right,
Fox News romancers
Not so very bright,
With our finances
This Tea Party love
Should be viewed as taboo

Palin shouting lies
And fear inciting
Rand Paul is hostile
And so damn frightening
Boehner has no heart
McConnell has no clue

Strange ones on the right,
Abnormal people
They are strange ones on the right
Not one sane moment
They should be in a freak-show
Little do they know
It would just enhance our day
If like Bristol they’d dance away and –

And on Fox every night,
They’re all together
Lovers on the right
In love forever
It’s an ugly sight
Those strange ones on the right

(Tea-Bagging break)

Don’t look now just glance away
Here comes their jailbird Tom Delay

You can join their fight
And hang together
Only if you’re white
Birds of a feather
Taking their last flight
Those strange ones on the right

Ron “007” Paul Fears Goldfinger May Have Struck Again!!!

Before reading today’s blog post, please start the following video to set the mood:

It is beginning to look as if GOP Presidential candidate Ron Paul has been both “shaken” and “stirred”. Paul of course is the moonbat-crazy Republican congressman from Texas and father of the equally crazy Rand Paul, the newly elected Teapublican senator from Kentucky.

In earlier blog posts we have already highlighted some of the elder Paul’s ideas and characteristics such as:

He is known as “Dr. No” (Hmm, another James Bond reference) because of his insistence that he will “never vote for legislation unless the proposed measure is expressly authorized by the Constitution”;

– He advocates withdrawal from the United Nations, and from the North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO);

– He opposes birthright citizenship;

– He advocates for the elimination of the Federal Reserve;

– He would deny women their right of freedom of choice in birth; and

– He believes that the civil Rights act of 1964 is unconstitutional.

We have also previously printed some of Paul’s racist quotes as attributed to him in his very own newsletter such as:

– “Boy, it sure burns me to have a national holiday for that pro-communist philanderer Martin Luther King. I voted against this outrage time and time again as a Congressman. What an infamy that Ronald Reagan approved it! We can thank him for our annual Hate Whitey Day.”;

– “opinion polls consistently show only about 5% of blacks have sensible political opinions”;

– “if you have ever been robbed by a black teen-aged male, you know how unbelievably fleet-footed they can be.”.

OK then, it appears that we have confirmed Ron Paul’s radically eccentric bone fides. He did not need to do or say one more crazy thing to convince us that he is bonkers. But this is Ron Paul who we are talking about and he just cannot help himself.

On Friday we learned that just like secret agent James Bond in the 1964 film “Goldfinger“, Paul is worried that our nation’s gold supply might have gone missing from Fort Knox. Does he suspect super-villain Auric Goldfinger is involved? Who knows? But one thing is certain, CNN reports that Ron Paul called a congressional hearing Thursday to grill federal officials about his bill to audit and inventory all of the gold reserves at Fort Knox, Ky., West Point, N.Y., and Denver, even though Treasury officials insist that the gold is audited annually and is all there. Paul wants to open up Fort Knox and other reserves and count the bars manually.

Paul suggested that the Federal Reserve of New York, which has 5% of the U.S. gold reserves, has the ability to secretly sell or swap gold with other countries without anyone knowing. He said,

“The Fed is pretty secret, you know. Congress doesn’t have much say on what’s going on over there. They do a lot of hiding.”

In response, Treasury Inspector General Eric Thorson said, “We know where it is. We know how much there is. We know it’s there. None of it has been removed.”

Now what? Will Paul contact “Q” over at headquarters in the hope of acquiring some newfangled spy gadget so that he may surreptitiously enter Fort Knox and count the gold? Will he don a tuxedo? What kind of fancy sports-car will he drive? Will he encounter a vivacious double-agent? Someone please contact Sean Connery and find out if he is available for the big screen adaptation of this thriller!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Piano Man” song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dBC6IVP-C84

TEA BAGGING MEN (RON PAUL VERSION)

(sung to the Billy Joel song “Piano Man”)

It’s nine o’clock on a Saturday
Rand Paul comes marching in
A proud member of the Tea Party
Like so many white racist men

He says, “Boy you know that I’m from Kentucky
And I think that Obama blows
It was sad and back-street how he chastised BP
Just because their damn oil rigs explode”

La la la, di da da
La la, di di da da dum

Sing us a song you Tea-Bagging men
Sing us a song tonight
Give us some patriotic imagery
Tri-corn hats and a wig that’s too tight

Now Sarah Palin is no friend of mine
Thank God she’s not the VP
Yes she looked like a dope every time she misspoke
As McCain claimed she was “mavericky”

She says, “Why does the press keep on grilling me?”
As her smile runs away from her face
“Can’t they see I’m a tabloid-bred superstar,
Though I quit my job in disgrace?”

Oh, la la la, di da da
La la, di da da da dum

Ron Paul is a right-wing apologist
He is anti-gay and pro-life
Grasp of history’s hazy and he’s moon-bat crazy
Ron Paul should be confined for life

And Scott Walker’s union-busting politics
Sparked a recall to get him de-throned
While Mike Huckabee thinks his “down-hominess”
Will coax liberals to leave him alone

Sing us a song you Tea-Bagging men
Sing us a song tonight
Give us some patriotic imagery
Tri-corn hats and a wig that’s too tight

Had a pretty big crowd just last Saturday
With the Tea Baggers dressed in high style
They were at a rally with signs misspelled badly
To express ignorance all the while

And the town common, it looks like a carnival
With the Tea Baggers from far and near
They unload from their cars lots of feathers and tar
As they fan flames of hatred and fear!

Oh, la la la, di da da
La la, di da da da dum

Sing us your song you Tea Bagging men
Sing us your song tonight
Cuz we’re all in the mood for a melody
Sung by folks that are old, dumb and white

(fade into extinction)

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 80

Just a few newsworthy items (and comments thereon) that have been making their way through the political universe this past week but may have escaped your attention. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful day during this unofficial first-weekend of summer!

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “You Gotta Love It” features The St. Paul Pioneer Press. Tim Pawlenty‘s hometown newspaper printed the the former Minnesota Governor’s announcement to run as a Republican presidential candidate on its obituary page.

THIS JUST IN: Wisconsin state officials have scheduled the first recall elections of state Republican lawmakers for July 12. That day, voters will decide whether to recall three GOP lawmakers who supported Gov. Scott Walker’s bill to curb the collective bargaining rights of state workers.

BREAKING NEWS:  The next time that some Teapublican tells you that President Barack Obama has thrown Israel under the bus for suggesting a two state solution “based on” 1967 borders “with mutually agreed swaps”, please remind them to stifle their outrage inasmuch as President George W. Bush suggested the same thing in 2005. Where was all the shock then?

THIS JUST IN: Quote of the week: “In 2009 I had the sense if she made it to the White House and I had stayed silent, I could never forgive myself,” – Author and former Sarah Palin staffer Frank Bailey commenting to the Associated Press.

BREAKING NEWS:  Remember back during the 1988 presidential election season when Republicans seized upon furloughed criminal and recidivist Willie Horton as a means to attack Democratic nominee, Michael Dukakis? Well it looks like 2012 Republican presidential candidate Tim Pawlenty now has his own Willie Horton to worry about. You see, two years ago Pawlenty pardoned and wiped clean the criminal record of Jeremy Geifer, who had been convicted for having sex with a 14 year old girl. Well, it turns out that Geifer sought to have his record cleared so that his wife could open a day care center. Turns out, Geifer has now been accused of molesting his own daughter.

THIS JUST IN:  This week’s episode of “Don’t Mess With The Medicare” features Republican candidate Jane Corwin and Tea Party candidate Jack Davis. In the heavily Republican New York 26th District, those candidates lost to Democrat Kathy Hochul as the result of their unqualified support for Republican Paul Ryan’s plan to dismantle the popular Medicare program. Going forward, it will be interesting to see how many Republican candidates attempt to distance themselves from their party’s plan. It is a “lose/lose” situation for the GOP because those politicians who run from the plan will disrupt party unity while those that continue to support it will face voter backlash. This will be fun to watch.

BREAKING NEWS:  It was nice to see the US Senate hold a vote on Republican Paul Ryan‘s Medicare Destruction Act. The final vote was 57-40 against passage of the bill, mostly along party lines. Republicans who joined the majority Democrats in opposing the measure were Scott Brown of Massachusetts, Lisa Murkowski of Alaska, Rand Paul of Kentucky, and Olympia Snowe and Susan Collins of Maine. Those GOP members that supported bill will now probably face massive voter backlash. Yipee!

THIS JUST IN:  For the sake of being, dare I say “fair and balanced”, we should note that not all vulgar hate speech comes from the right. Last week progressive talk radio and MSNBC television host Ed Schultz was rightfully suspended for referring to moonbat-crazy conservative radio host Laura Ingraham as a “right wing slut”. Schultz did the right by issuing an almost immediate apology but the fact remains that that type of language is hateful.

BREAKING NEWS:  Fox News Comment of the week. Headline: “CAIR: Bin laden More Like ‘Neo-Nazi, White Supremacist'”. Reader Comment:  “CAIR is another enemy within. All Americans need to take action against mus lims. Do not do business with them, do not hire them, do not allow them respect or equality. It is up to the people to rid ourselves of this social cancer.”

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Fox On The Run song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2MDCbIhTa_w

FOX ON THE RUN

(sung to the Sweet song “Fox On The Run”)

Why is that network insane
No one there has a brain
So easy to abhor
Each day they add a new pretty face
But they’re losing in the gene pool race
They speak like sidewalk whores

Fox on the run
They scream and everybody starts a-running
Beck, Britt Hume and big Bill O’Reilly
Fox is on the run
F-foxy, Fox is on the run. They’ll fade away.

Koo-Koo, that is the Fox network brand
As “fair and balanced” as DisneyLand
So easy to ignore
News, that is so God damned lame
Should hide their heads in shame
And show their hosts the door

Fox on the run
They scream and everybody starts a-running
Beck, Britt Hume and big Bill O’Reilly
Fox is on the run
F-foxy, Fox is on the run. They’ll fade away.

(musical interlude)

F-foxy, Fox is on the run
They scream and think that we’re having fun
Take a run and hide yourself away
Fox is on the run
F-foxy, Fox is on the run. They’ll fade away.

Racist Paul Takes On Confused Trump

Who could have guessed that there would be a second episode of Celebrity Death Match this week? Following immediately upon the heels of yesterday’s feud which featured Glenn Beck and Mike Huckabee, today we have Rand Paul v. Donald Trump.

While stumping in New Hampshire for his father Ron Paul, (the failed 2008 GOP presidential candidate), Paul Jr. took aim at reality television host and bankrupt billionaire Donald Trump. CNN reports that while speaking at a Merrimack County Republican Committee fundraiser on Thursday,  Paul said, “I’ve come to New Hampshire today because I’m very concerned. I want to see the original long-form certificate of Donald Trump’s Republican registration.”

It appears that while The Donald has been busy unsuccessfully questioning Barack Obama’s presidential qualifications, he has shined a spotlight on his own Republican bona fides. First he was unable to produce an official long form copy of his own birth certificate. Next, it was revealed that the China-bashing thug who claims that he knows how to bring manufacturing jobs back to the states, actually has his Donald J. Trump Signature Collection clothing line manufactured in guess where? Yes, China! Finally, Trump’s voting record and campaign contributions to Democratic candidates have also raised issues about his GOP credentials. CNN reported this week that Trump changed his party registration three times over the past 20 years and did not even cast a vote in the 2002 general election.

Little Paul also mentioned in his Granite State speech that Trump has donated thousands of dollars to Democratic majority leader Sen. Harry Reid of Nevada and Democratic Rep. Charlie Rangel of New York in the last election cycle. Paul expressed concern that attention focused on GOP candidates like Trump distracts from important discussions on topics of great concern to conservatives such as the deficit and the economy. He said, “Let’s look to Republicans who not only talk the talk but walk the walk.”

ROUND ONE: Rand Paul

Donald Trump however, has the ammunition to fire back at Puny Paul should he choose to do so.

You might recall that Paul is the guy that appeared on national television and stated that he believes that private business should once again be allowed to racially discriminate. He also said that he disagrees with the prohibition against such racial discrimination as delineated in the 14th Amendment to the United States Constitution. Paul was so surprised by the near-universal condemnation of his position, that the following week he became the first politician in history to abruptly cancel his scheduled appearance on the Sunday morning Meet The Press television program. Yet, his endorsement of racial discrimination is only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to Rand Paul’s radical beliefs and contradictory statements.

Rand Paul also wants so called “anchor babies” (children born in the US with parents not legally in the country) to be stripped of their US citizenship and deported. Problem is, the US Constitution says, “All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside.” Additionally, Paul has said that Medicaid is a form of “intergenerational warfare”. What he has not admitted to however is that 50% of his medical practice’s income is in the form of Medicare and Medicaid payments. Furthermore, Paul has declared that elderly, fixed-income Medicare recipients should be subjected to a $ 2,000.00 deductible before receiving benefits.

Rand Paul also has a questionable personal life history. Although he professes to be a devout christian, while a student at Baylor University, Paul belonged to a secret society known as the NoZe Brotherhood. The group’s work often had a specifically anti-Christian tone, as it made fun of the Baptist college’s faith-based orientation and called the Holy Bible “a hoax”. Also while at Baylor, Rand Paul allegedly kidnapped a fellow student, tried to force her to take bong hits, and demanded that she participate in a bizarre ritual involving his God, which he referred to as “Aqua Buddha.”

Crazy stuff, but Rand Paul has also been deceptive as an adult. On June 14, 2010 the Louisville Courier-Journal reported that Paul, who described himself as a “board-certified” ophthalmologist, was not actively certified by the American Board of Ophthalmology. Paul is currently certified by the National Board of Ophthalmology, but that is merely a rival organization founded by Paul himself in 1999 with Paul as president and his wife as vice-president. The National Board of Ophthalmology’s mailing address is a UPS Store in Bowling Green, Kentucky; the organization lacks a website and is not recognized by the American Board of Medical Specialties (ABMS).

ROUND TWO: Potentially Donald Trump

DECISION: Tie. They are both tainted losers.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today;s topical song parody.

We’re An American Band song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iy-JaDzvlXI

UN-AMERICAN RAND

(sung to the Grand Funk Railroad song “We’re An American Band”)

Out on the road for forty days
Last night in Bowling Green, he was in a haze
Dead-beat con-man was doing his act
Rand Paul is our foe and that’s a natural fact

Had a fight with Reverend King
Doesn’t like the 14th Amendment thing
Likes blacks when they’re out of sight
But not at the lunch counter sitting to his right

He’s un-American Rand
He’s un-American Rand
Kentucky’s biggest clown
Tea-Baggers hangin’ around
He’s un-American Rand

Hates honest Christians and Obama
Hating Medicare but that’s how he earns dough
He is no good, too far right and he’s Tea Party blight
Rand Paul hurls invectives to stir up a fight

Rand Paul is crazy, he should be banned
He seems to live in a fantasy land
Paul is just a crude Tea Party pawn
But he’s succeeding to bring that party down

He’s un-American Rand
He’s un-American Rand
Kentucky’s biggest clown
Don’t know a verb from a noun
He’s un-American Rand

He’s un-American Rand
He’s un-American Rand
Kentucky’s biggest clown
Shuns a big smile for a frown
He’s un-American Rand

($ 2,000.00 Medicare deductible break)

He’s un-American Rand
He’s un-American Rand
He don’t know up from down
Let’s kick this bum outta town
He’s un-American Rand

He’s un-American Rand
He’s un-American Rand
Kentucky’s biggest clown
Tea-Baggers hangin’ around
He’s un-American Rand

He’s un-American Rand (whooo)
He’s un-American Rand (whooo)
He’s un-American Rand (whooo)

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 59

Just a few newsworthy events (and comments thereon) that have been making their way through the political universe this past week. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful day!

BREAKING NEWS: Another example of right-wing talk radio gone whacko took place in Boston this week. Jay Severin hosts a program which airs on a Boston, MA radio station, known to  progressives as WKKK. Severin, (who changed his name from James Severino a number of years back, presumably to avoid any ethnic stereotyping) is a cowardly conservative host who has embellished his academic credentials and falsely claimed that he was the recipient of a Pulitzer Prize. He is, in essence, a light-weight Glenn Beck or Rush Limbaugh. He was suspended by his station about a year ago as the result of vicious racist comments made against Mexicans. This week Severin also joined the ranks of conspiracy theorists. He claims that the unidentified plume which appeared off the California coast this week was actually a Chinese warning missile aimed at the U.S. because of that nation’s distaste for President Obama. He must have obtained his information from some classified documents provided by Christine O’Donnell.

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “Best Quote Of The Week” stars MSNBC‘s Keith Olbermann, who said of his campaign contribution suspension, “And then suddenly I’m fundraising for them passively or aggressively and we’re accidentally Fox.” Short, sweet and so true.

BREAKING NEWS: Ya gotta love Democratic Senator Michael Bennett of Colorado who one-upped the Republicans this week. Bennett said that Democrats will revisit health care reform also, too, particularly to ensure affordable premiums. He and the Democrats want to make a “good” law “better”.

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “Money Not Wisely Spent” co-stars Teapublican losers Sharron “No Alcohol” Angle and Linda “Steroid Queen” McMahon. In the end their losing campaigns led the nation in the category of dollars spent per vote received. Each of them spent $ 97.00 for each of their losing votes. Apparently money cannot buy everything.

BREAKING NEWS: Teapublican nut-job Rand Paul has not even been seated in the Senate yet and he has already started a civil war amongst his supporters which is likely to cost him his seat in the next election. First, he stabbed his Tea-Bagging supporters in the back when he reversed his campaign pledge against voting in favor of earmarks. Paul now says that he will fight for every dollar available to his state of Kentucky. Next, Paul alienated his Republican supporters by advocating reductions in defense spending. Rand Paul, Kentucky’s next one term Senator.

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “Stating The Obvious” features Sarah Palin. The former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska has predicted that she will face harsh personal criticism in the aftermath of the mid-term elections as pressure continues to build against her probable bid for the 2012 Republican Presidential and Cookie-Baker in Chief nomination.

BREAKING NEWS: Republican Representative Joe Barton declared this week that repealing the newly enacted Health Care Reform law is his “Alomo”. Does the Texan realize that we lost the Battle of the Alomo, or has he been reading those revised Texas school text books again?

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “Republicans Who Get It” features moderate Republican Senator Susan Collins of Maine. She told the Kennebec Times that she blames Sarah Palin for costing the GOP Senate seats — and she thinks Palin would rather be a “celebrity commentator” than run for president and govern. Here’s hoping that Collins will soon do the right thing and switch parties?

BREAKING NEWS: In light of all of his admissions about authorizing torture, is it likely that major bookstores will display former President George W. Bush‘s memoir Decision Points in the “True Crime” section?

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “How To Lose Your Job On Fox News” features Mort Kondracke. This week, the Fox contributor called Teapublican Rep. Michelle “Moonbat Crazy” Bachmann a “loudmouth”. His days at Fox are now numbered.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

The Flintstones television theme song link: http://www.televisiontunes.com/Flintstones.html

BACHMANN

(sung to the television theme song “The Flinstones”)

Bachmann. Michele Bachman
A Congresswoman that is bat crazy
She and Sarah Palin
Driving voters from the G.O.P.

She can’t form a sentence that’s complete
Now she’s targeted for big defeat

When you’re Michele Bachmann
You’re just living off the state dime
Endorsing hate crimes
Exposed during prime time

Bachmann. Michele Bachman
Hates Blacks, children and those that are gay
She is clearly brain dead
Can’t seem to get out of her own way

She talks right through the rain, snow and sleet
Every single thought is incomplete

When you’re Michele Bachmann
You’re just living off the state dime
Endorsing hate crimes
Exposed during prime time

Exposed during prime time

G.O.P. Is Bailin’ On Palin

We will not know the actual results until all the votes are counted, but the consensus is that Republicans will pick up a lot of seats in today’s nationwide elections. The G.O.P. is expected to gain a majority in the House but they are likely to remain the minority in the Senate and the Democrats will continue to hold the Executive branch until at least 2012. So, despite all of the fanfare and cheerleading from conservative talk radio and Fox News, on Wednesday the Republicans will still be a minority power with no ability to advance any legislation such as the repeal of the new health care reform law or the financial regulation law.

Nevertheless, there appears to be a prevailing feeling of euphoria throughout the G.O.P. The Republican Party for the time being is one big mutual admiration society. As we speak, centrist Republicans like Olympia Snowe and Susan Collins and radical-fringe Tea-Baggers like Sharron Angle and Rand Paul are cohabiting nicely. Yet just beneath the surface of this strained love affair lurks an intra-party assassination plot. Yes, the G.O.P. leadership has already “reloaded” and has an unsuspecting target in their sights. Who is it? Who else but Sarah Palin!

In an article posted on the right-leaning Politico.com yesterday, it is postulated that

“Top Republicans in Washington and in the national GOP establishment say the 2010 campaign highlighted an urgent task that they will begin in earnest as soon as the elections are over: Stop Sarah Palin.”

The article goes on to say, “There is rising expectation among GOP elites that Palin will probably run for president in 2012 and could win the Republican nomination, a prospect many of them regard as a disaster in waiting.”

“There is a determined, focused establishment effort … to find a candidate we can coalesce around who can beat Sarah Palin,” said one prominent and longtime Washington Republican. “We believe she could get the nomination, but Barack Obama would crush her.” The top advisors for most of the 2012 G.O.P. hopefuls told Politico that the candidates — as well as many establishment figures — are fixated on the topic of defeating Palin, especially on how to keep her from running or how to deny her the nomination if she does run.
The Politico article also says,
“In the wake of the 2008 presidential campaign, there was a widespread belief among Republican strategists and 2012 aspirants that the former Alaska governor was a colorful and energizing figure but not one who projected the authority, or even necessarily held the desire, to make a serious bid for the White House. This view gained credence after Palin resigned the Alaska governorship before finishing her first term.

But nonchalance has turned to alarm among party elites in 2010, as Palin repeatedly showed her clout among a key bloc of anti-establishment conservatives. Obviously relishing her role as a powerful force in GOP primaries, Palin made risky but decisive endorsements for Senate candidates such as Joe Miller in Alaska and Christine O’Donnell in Delaware, both of whom beat establishment favorites but in the process made those states less winnable for the GOP.”

This week an ABC News/Washington Post poll showed that only 39 percent of registered voters view Palin favorably and only 27 percent believe she is qualified to be president. Additionaly, nearly a majority of conservative Republicans think she is not qualified to be president. And interviews with some activists who admire Palin suggest that though they thrill in how she rubs establishment sensibilities the wrong way, this doesn’t necessarily translate to support for her candidacy.

Nevertheless, Politico contends that “The establishment-vs.-activists narrative is hardly novel in presidential primaries. What’s different this time is that the anti-establishment candidate — Palin — would enter with unmatched celebrity and media advantages, at a time when the establishment is weaker than it’s been in many years.” And, “The gathering presidential campaigns-in-waiting anticipate what amounts to two competing GOP primaries: one to win the backing of the party’s establishment, another to represent the tea party crowd. In past elections, voters of Iowa and New Hampshire have been resistant to highly partisan candidates, and GOP presidential nominees have historically gone to establishment-backed candidates over insurgents. Then again, that has also been true of GOP Senate primaries — which decidedly was not the case this past year.”

Politico goes on to describe that “Few, if any, Republican officials want to challenge Palin’s credentials in public, but most speak dismissively and condescendingly about her in private. They think she would kill Republican chances with independents and conservative Democrats frustrated with Obama’s expansive agenda. Many of these establishment figures argue in not-for-attribution comments that Palin’s nomination would ensure President Barack Obama’s reelection, as the deficiencies that marked her 2008 debut as a vice presidential nominee — an intensely polarizing political style and often halting and superficial answers when pressed on policy — have shown little sign of abating in the past two years.”
Isn’t it fun watching Republicans feed on their young?

Now Let’s get out there and Vote  for the Democratic Party!


Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Girls Talk song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7fpW1thGues&feature=related

HER TALK

(sung to the Dave Edmunds song “Girls Talk”)

There are some things she can’t cover up with lipstick and powder
Everything she says is just the same but the volume gets louder
Hope she comes no closer, hope she comes no nearer
My opinion of her can’t get any clearer
Oh, I don’t wanna hear her talk
Palin has flights of imagination inspired by her talk
But she won’t say the words I want to hear
“I promise everyone I’ll run for Prez next year”
Next year

Oh, wow!

Her talk is so very damn loud
Her talk simply shouldn’t be allowed
She talks about Sixpack Joe
Don’t you think that I know by now?

That the words that come from Sarah’s lips
Prove that she’s medicated
Sarah Palin is the type of girl
That needs to be sedated
“Death panels” and murder,
Her lies never-ending
Lately I have heard she is Beck’s fibbing friend

Her talk is so very damn loud
Her talk simply shouldn’t be allowed
Her talk resembles a mean snarl
Her talk is just a planned show
For the “Party of No”
Oh wow1

Why won’t she say the words I wanna hear?
“I promise everyone I’ll run for Prez next year”
Please, dear

There are some things she can’t cover up with lipstick and powder
Everything she says is just the same but the volume gets louder
But I don’t suppose her words could be much clearer
If you don’t obey, then you better fear her
Her talk
Emanating from this cow
Her talk.

Un-American Rand

With all the recent talk about the two whack-job “Mama-Grizzlies”, Christine “Witchy Woman” O’Donnell and Sharron “Obtuse” Angle, many people have forgotten that Sarah Palin also endorsed the moonbat-crazy “Papa-Grizzly”, Rand Paul. This guy however, is just as unhinged and radically right-wing as the aforementioned female Teapublicans.

You might recall that Paul is the guy that appeared on national television and stated that he believes that private business should once again be allowed to racially discriminate. He also said that he disagrees with the prohibition against such racial discrimination as delineated in the 14th Amendment to the United States Constitution. Paul was so surprised by the near-universal condemnation of his position, that the following week he became the first politician in history to abruptly cancel his scheduled appearance on the Sunday morning Meet The Press television program. Yet, his endorsement of racial discrimination is only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to Rand Paul’s radical beliefs and contradictory statements.

Rand Paul also wants so called “anchor babies” (children born in the US with parents not legally in the country) to be stripped of their US citizenship and deported. Problem is, the US Constitution says, “All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside.” Additionally, Paul has said that Medicaid is a form of “intergenerational warfare”. What he has not admitted to however is that 50% of his medical practice’s income is in the form of Medicare and Medicaid payments. Furthermore, Paul has declared that elderly, fixed-income Medicare recipients should be subjected to a $ 2,000.00 deductible before receiving benefits. He now denies that he has ever advocated such a position, but his Democratic opponent in the Kentucky Senate race, Jack Conway has exposed Paul’s dishonesty in this recent ad.

Rand Paul also has a questionable personal life history. Although he professes to be a devout christian, while a student at Baylor University, Paul belonged to a secret society known as the NoZe Brotherhood. The group’s work often had a specifically anti-Christian tone, as it made fun of the Baptist college’s faith-based orientation and called the Holy Bible “a hoax”. Also while at Baylor, Rand Paul allegedly kidnapped a fellow student, tried to force her to take bong hits, and demanded that she participate in a bizarre ritual involving his God, which he referred to as “Aqua Buddha.”

Crazy stuff, but Rand Paul has also been deceptive as an adult. On June 14, 2010 the Louisville Courier-Journal reported that Paul, who described himself as a “board-certified” ophthalmologist, was not actively certified by the American Board of Ophthalmology. Paul is currently certified by the National Board of Ophthalmology, but that is merely a rival organization founded by Paul himself in 1999 with Paul as president and his wife as vice-president. The National Board of Ophthalmology’s mailing address is a UPS Store in Bowling Green, Kentucky; the organization lacks a website and is not recognized by the American Board of Medical Specialties (ABMS).

Let’s hope that sober Kentuckians take a long look at Rand Paul and ask themselves if this is the type of person that they want representing them in the U.S. Senate. if they do, the answer will be a resounding, “NO”. Do the right thing Kentuckians, vote for Democrat Jack Conway on Tuesday!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today;s topical song parody.

We’re An American Band song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6yOayjt2tGs

UN-AMERICAN RAND

(sung to the Grand Funk Railroad song “We’re An American Band”)

Out on the road for forty days
Last night in Bowling Green, he was in a haze
Dead-beat con-man was doing his act
Rand Paul is our foe and that’s a natural fact

Had a fight with Reverend King
Doesn’t like the 14th Amendment thing
Likes blacks when they’re out of sight
But not at the lunch counter sitting to his right

He’s un-American Rand
He’s un-American Rand
Kentucky’s biggest clown
Tea-Baggers hangin’ around
He’s un-American Rand

Hates honest Christians and Obama
Hating Medicare but that’s how he earns dough
He is no good, too far right and he’s Tea Party blight
Rand Paul hurls invectives to stir up a fight

Rand Paul is crazy, he should be banned
He seems to live in a fantasy land
Paul is just a crude Tea Party pawn
But he’s succeeding to bring that party down

He’s un-American Rand
He’s un-American Rand
Kentucky’s biggest clown
Don’t know a verb from a noun
He’s un-American Rand

He’s un-American Rand
He’s un-American Rand
Kentucky’s biggest clown
Shuns a big smile for a frown
He’s un-American Rand

($ 2,000.00 Medicare deductible break)

He’s un-American Rand
He’s un-American Rand
He don’t know up from down
Let’s kick this bum outta town
He’s un-American Rand

He’s un-American Rand
He’s un-American Rand
Kentucky’s biggest clown
Tea-Baggers hangin’ around
He’s un-American Rand

He’s un-American Rand (whooo)
He’s un-American Rand (whooo)
He’s un-American Rand (whooo)