Monthly Archives: October 2009

The Palin Family: They’re Creepy And Their Kooky !!!

palinAddams family

Just so you didn't think they were dressed for Halloween.

Please accept an apology for today’s late post, but Lynnrockets and crew had another smashing Halloween party last night. Photos may be posted a little later. Don’t know how many more of these we can take. Enough about us however, let’s get to the Palins!

There are a few timely news bites about Alaska’s version of the Munsters that should see the light of day. First, Britain’s The Guardian reports that Levi Johnston plans on taking the Palin’s to court in a custody battle so that he can see his son, Sarah Palin’s grandson. he says,

I’m up to the point where I can’t see my kid again, I’m done. I’m sure we’ll end up in court. We’re definitely going to court.

Wouldn’t you just love to see Sarah Palin subjected to deposition testimony under oath? What juicy tidbits would be divulged? keep your collective fingers crossed.

In other Miss Quittypants news, as expected, Sarah Palin has backed out of her speaking engagement in Iowa. The Iowa Family Policy Center has announced that Palin is too busy with her book tour to attend their event. We suspect that the real reason for her cancellation is the backlash unleashed by the disclosure of her requested speaking fee of $ 100,000.00. Once again, the Palin bunch has completely screwed up a potential public appearance. Someone should start keeping track of all of her scheduling snafus. any volunteers?

Please have a scary, fun and safe All Hallow’s Eve !!!

In honor of the troops, please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along to this Halloween inspired song parody.

Theme song to the 1960’s television sit-com, The Addams Family: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NVRX_5tGOlo

THE PALIN FAMILY

(sung to the theme of “The Addams Family”)

Their creepy and their brain-dead
Ingested way too much lead
Kids born before they were wed,
The Palin Family

Her dialect is grating
Her beehive irritating
Daughters always mating
The Palin Family

(Wink)
(Blink)
(Missing Link)

So put your muckluks on now
And join their nightly pow-wow
It’s certainly not highbrow
The Palin Family.

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Friday Night Music Byte

The Rocky Horror Picture Show is a 1975 British musical comedy film that parodies science fiction and horror films. Still in limited release 34 years after its premiere, it has the longest-running theatrical release in film history. It gained notoriety as a midnight movie in 1977 when audiences began participating with the film in theaters across the United States. “Rocky Horror” is the first movie from a major film studio, such as 20th Century Fox, to be in the midnight movie market. Widely known by mainstream audiences, it has a large international following and is one of the most well known and financially successful midnight movies of all time. In 2005, the film was selected for preservation in the United States National Film Registry by the Library of Congress as being “culturally, historically, or aesthetically significant.”

The film, considered a cult classic, is an adaptation of the British musical stage production The Rocky Horror Show. Richard O’Brien, author of the stage show, was assisted by Jim Sharman in writing the screenplay. The movie introduces Tim Curry and features Susan Sarandon and Barry Bostwick along with cast members from the original Kings Road production of the play first performed in the Theatre Upstairs at the Royal Court Theatre in 1973.

The story is narrated by a criminologist who, reading from a leather bound report titled, “The Denton Affair”, tells the tale of newly engaged couple, Brad Majors and Janet Weiss, who find themselves lost and with a flat tire on a rainy, late November evening. Seeking a phone with which to call for help, the two knock on the door of a nearby castle. They are invited inside by Riff Raff, a hunchback servant, along with his sister Magenta. Inside Brad and Janet discover a group of strange and outlandish people who are holding an Annual Transylvanian Convention. They watch, still wet from the rain, as the Transylvanians, servants and a tap dancing groupie named Columbia, dance the “Time Warp”, the film’s signature song.

It would not be Halloween with out some Rocky Horror Picture Show, so please enjoy this clip of The Time Warp.

Sarah Palin: The Devil In Disguise

PalinDevil

Sarah Palin's official portrait at Alaska's Governors Mansion

Sarah Palin, the scheduling-challenged diva, has propelled herself into another speaking engagement controversy. This time it is with the conservative group known as The Iowa Family Policy Center. You may recall a few weeks ago when the Palin camp referred to this group as one of the future beneficiaries of the ex former-quitting governor’s speaking prowess. Well, as usual, not so fast. Once again a disagreement between the event organizers and the Palin crew has cast a dark shadow over the event such that Miss Quittypants may pull another no-show.

The Politico reports that, “The Iowa Family Policy Center’s effort to cobble together $100,000 for Palin would represent a striking departure from customary practice in the first-in-the-nation state, these Republicans say, noting that a generation of White House hopefuls has paid their own way to boost their party and presidential ambitions.” Other conservative groups are also unnerved at the prospect of paying a potential future candidate for something that should be considered a privilege. the Politico quotes the following:

“If somebody tells me they want me to pay an appearance fee, it tells me they’re not very serious about running for president,” said Ed Failor, Jr., president of Iowans for Tax Relief and an influential GOP insider.

Also, Steve Scheffler, the president of the Iowa Christian Alliance and a longtime GOP activist, said his organization would also never ante up. We certainly wouldn’t do it, even if we had the money,” Scheffler said, adding that he wanted to keep his group “impartial” in the caucus process and that paying money to one prospective candidate could raise questions about such neutrality.

The brouhaha appears to have caused some backtracking and/or revisionist history with both the sponsoring group and the Palin camp. It has been reported that at the request of the Iowa Family Policy Center, Team Sarah, a national pro-Palin organization not formally connected to the former governor, has begun raising money among its members in an effort to collect the $100,000. However, when an officer of The Iowa Family Policy Center was asked about the fee controversy, he said that he was, “not personally aware of a speaker’s fee” and “There may or may not be, I don’t know.”

Next, Palin spokeswoman, Meg Stapleton told Newsweek:

that Palin “has not requested anything” and that she “does not charge people to campaign for them.” According to Stapleton, Palin would instead cover such travel costs through her political-action committee, SarahPAC.

Not unexpectedly however, the Palin bunch then called the whole appearence into question by saying,

We don’t believe she will be able to attend with her tightly scheduled book tour, and the group has been told that through formal and informal channels.

What is with this bunch of clowns and their inability to do anything on the straight and narrow. It is a sure bet that anytime a Palin engagement is announced, there will be some sort of snafu that emerges which calls the event into question. Sarah Palin simply could not schedule a beauty parlor appointment without complications. She and her camp are scatterbrained dimwits of the first degree.

Some might say that she is a “little devil.”

In honor of the troops, please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with this Halloween inspired song parody.

Devil In Her Heart song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FeiuCcBx2zg

DEVIL IN HER HEART

(sung to the Beatles song “Devil In Her Heart”)

She’s got the devil in her heart
But the rednecks fantasize
That Palin is a sleazy tart
But her politics just chill me

Her smirking glances
Vocal dances
She’s an ignorant pig
She’s just so flirty
Politics dirty
She’s a wicked entity

She’s got the devil in her heart
And some tricks are up her sleeve
Palin’s a dime store work of art
A web of lies she will weave

I’ll bet she leaves that Alaskan winter snow
She’ll board a bus to be with Plumber Joe
Palin is quirky
Her future’s murky
Like the G.O.P.’s

She’s got the devil in her heart
I know, know, know Palin will deceive
Next she’ll be working at K-Mart
Cuz today she is naïve

Sarah’s stance is to raise finances
From her writing debut
She’s just as perky
As fresh killed turkey
As we witnessed on TV

She’s got the devil in her heart
I know, know, know  and I do believe
She fell right off the donkey cart
Sarah should be on sick leave

She’s got the devil in her heart
And she’s no angel we can see
She’s got the devil in her heart
No, she’s no angel we can see

Sarah Palin Is A “Liar, Liar Pants On Fire”

palinLIAR

It looks like the world will soon know that Pinocchio Palin’s nose is growing. President Obama was not joking last month when he said that if someone spreads lies, falsehoods or misconceptions about the Democratic party’s health care reform bill, he would “call them out” about it. The Democratic National Committee has just released an informative video ad which takes direct aim at Sarah Palin, the former ex-quitting governor of Alaska for doing just that.

The ad exposes each lie that Palin told about health care reform including, but not limited to, her fictitious “death panels.” Jen O’Malley, the executive director of the D.N.C. said, “The more we push back with the truth, the more Sarah Palin and others like her will have to think twice before they promote lies, and the less they’ll be able to derail progress.” Those certainly sound like fighting words. Please watch and enjoy the ad.

And now it is time for our topical song parody. Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.

I’m Down song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SQtKwP4a_oE

SHE’S DOWN

(sung to the Beatles song “I’m Down”)

She tells lies thinking we can’t see
Palin’s been caught by the D.N.C.
She’s down (she’s really down)
She’s down (down on the ground)
She’s down (she’s really down)
Now we can laugh cuz dear Sarah’s down
(Now we can laugh) look at her big frown

Palin sings to her fans everyday
Not one word of truth does she say
She’s down (she’s really down)
She’s down (down on the ground)
She’s down (she’s really down)
Now we can laugh cuz dear Sarah’s down
(Now we can laugh) She is such a clown

She’s all alone in her Wasilla house
She has no one to blame but herself
She’s down (she’s really down)
She’s down (down on the ground)
She’s down (she’s really down)
Now we can laugh cuz dear Sarah’s down
(Now we can laugh) Palin hates that sound

(Wow! Baby I’m down!)

Whoo, baaaby!

Palin, you know that she’s down (she’s really down)
We dressed her down (she’s really down)
She’s down on the ground (she’s really down)
Whoa! Down! (she’s really down)
That babe is upside down
Oh yeh, yeh, yeh, yeh, yeh, she’s down (she’s really down)
Oh, baby she’s down (she’s really down)
Her smile is now a frown (she’s really down)
Ooh, she’s down (she’s really down)
Oh, baby she’s down, yeh
Oh, baby she’s down, yeh!
Baby, she’s down (she’s really down)
Oh, baby she’s down (she’s really down)
Oh, baby, baby, baby! (she’s really down)
Oh, baby she’s down (she’s really down)
She’s down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, yeh whoa !!!

Ann Coulter: The Sweet Transvestite?

transsexual

We haven’t visited with the Wicked Witch of the East in some time. However, inasmuch as this is Halloween week, there could not be a more appropriate time to reaquaint ourselves with Ann Coulter. He is of course, the uber-reich-wing columnist/author that nobody but viewers of Fox News would know or care about. Well, the Coulter-Thing reared its ugly head yet again last week.

Coulter was a guest last week on The Joy Behar Show. When presented with the fact that President Obama has faced more death threats than any president in history under the protection of the Secret Service, Coulter irrationally responded that if something were to happen, it would most likely be at the hands of a liberal. She said:

Every presidential assassination or attempted presidential assassination has been committed by some left wing loon, communist, anarchist, commutarians–yes they were!–or they had no politics at all. They were all liberals!

Although it is true that many of these assassins were political left wingers, Coulter conveniently made no reference to the most famous presidential assassin of all, John Wilkes Booth. Abraham Lincoln was considered to be quite liberal. He was in favor of a multi-ethnic immigrant society to be employed by industry and he was certainly a proponent of a strong activist central government. Booth on the other hand, was an aristocratic proponent of slavery and the  Southern agrarian lifestyle. Hardly a liberal was Booth.

Coulter’s retort however, clouds the more important aspect of Behar’s statement. That is, that the sitting president has faced an enormous amount of death threats. In light of last year’s release of an FBI memo which called for heightened scrutiny of right wing groups that may take to violent action, it is unlikely that a left leaning group or person would attempt to harm this particular left leaning president. Does Coulter believe that President Obama is more likely to face danger from say Acorn or MoveOn.org than from one of those gun-toting Tea-Baggers, the KKK or some gun rights protecting militia? If so, then this guy’s grasp of the political landscape is as mixed-up as his gender.

Speaking of gender, there have been rumors circulating on the internets tubes for some time now which advance the proposition that Ann Coulter is actually a male. Most of these articles focus on a few missing years during his adolescence when he presumably left the country to have a sex change operation overseas. The articles also often draw attention to his pronounced Adam’s Apple and masculine looking hands. Additionally, it is frequently pointed out that he has never been married or had children.

Here at Blast-Off, we have no idea as to the credibility of the Mann Coulter rumors. We do, however hope said rumors are true because of the wealth of satirical material which such a situation would spawn. As you can guess, we really do not like Ann Coulter or anything he has to say. So, without further adieu, let’s have a song…

Please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the song parody.

Sweet Transvestite song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Enr4W6FsSpk

SWEET TRANSVESTITE

(sung to the Tim Curry song from The Rocky Horror Picture ShowSweet Transvestite”)

How do you do?
I see you’ve met the trusty camera man
He has just a little frown because,
This is Fox
He thought you were that Hannity man
Don’t get strung out by the way I look
I’m just that schnook Ms. Ann Coulter
I’m somewhat of a man by the light of day
But by night O’Reilly runs for cover
I’m just a sweet transvestite
And I am not from Pennsylvania

Coulter shows you around and makes a manly sound
This he/she thinks he’s pretty groovy
But if he wants something visual
To make him feel dismal
He makes himself watch Michael Moore movies

Coulter might throw you a bone
If he likes your cologne
And you look a bit like O’Reilly

Right!

The more right-wing you are
Ann will pinch your cigar
And tell you his whole life story

Cuz Coulter loves to chit-chat
It’s tit for tat
That guy is really manic
He’s a fright of a sight
Something did not go right
His surgery performed by mechanics
Ann’s just a sweet transvestite
But he is not from Pennsylvania
He’ll wish the lights were not bright

Right!

His skirt is too tight!

Tight!

Ann Coulter has one secret confession
He is really a man
With blonde hair and a tan
But that life caused so much needless tension
Ann’s just a sweet transvestite
But he is not from Pennsylvania
Hit it! Hit it!
Ann’s just a sweet transvestite

Sweet Transvestite!

Or Transexual!

He/she mania!

Had some work in the lab
You can still see the scab
Ann Coulter sure is an abomi…nation
It’s surely his brain
That is really to blame
So let’s remove the cause
But not the symptom.

For Sarah Palin, The Polls Are Failin’

Palin ThanksButNoThanks

Sarah Palin’s popularity among voters continues to plummet. The most recent CNN/Opinion Research Corporation poll reveals that more than 7 out of 10 Americans think the former ex-quitting governor of Alaska is not qualified to be president. Seventy-one percent believe that Palin is unqualified for the position and only 29 percent believe that she is qualified. To put this in perspective, please remember that in 1993 only 23 percent felt that Dan “Potatoe” Quayle was qualified to be president and we all know how that turned out. To make matters worse, only 42 percent have a favorable opinion of the former failed Republican vice presidential nominee. Oh, how the mighty have fallen. As Billy Joel would say, “Say good-bye to Washington. Say good-bye dear lady.”

In honor of the troops, please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.

Low Rider song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8iffDvXTcm8&feature=related

POLL SLIDER

(sung to the War song “Low Rider”)

All my friends know the poll slider
The poll slider is a little liar

The poll slider slips a little lower
Poll slider couldn’t be much slower

Hey!

Poll Slider is facing defeat, yeah
Poll Slider is gonna be beat, yeah

Poll slider is outta gas now
The poll slider is on her ass

Better get a grip, better get a grip
She is not the one to be
Better get a grip, better get a grip
She’s shunned by the G.O.P.

Sarah Palin Is A Halloween Scream

sarah-palin_Lurch

Sarah Palin after learning that she is less popular than Michele Bachmann

It now appears that there is hope for all attendees of five or six colleges before obtaining any kind of a degree and to those who have lost elections and then quit their jobs. All they need do is simply have their memoirs ghostwritten and then sold to Harper-Collins Publishing. That course of action should land them a $ 1.25 million advance as it did for Sarah Palin, the former ex-quitting governor of Alaska.

The book is titled, Going Rogue and will be released on November 17, 2009. Problem is, the tome is already being heavily discounted and is sure to be found in the discount bins of most book stores after the holidays. Will the publisher be looking to recapture some of that advance from Palin should book sales flop? Alternatively, will Palin write a quick supplemental chapter to counter the most recent accusations of her former future son-in-law, Levi Johnston on this morning’s edition of CBS Early Show? Such as:

There are some things that I have that are huge. And I haven’t said them because I’m not gonna hurt her that way … I have things that can, you know — that would get her in trouble, and could hurt her. Will hurt her. But I’m not gonna go that far. You know, I mean, if I really wanted to hurt her, I could, very easily. But there’s — I’m not gonna do it. I’m not going that far.

Johnston also expanded upon his earlier contention in a Vanity Fair interview that Palin would refer to her Down syndrome child as “retarded.”

I was just in shock for the first time I heard it, and then she’d say it regularly. And I think she was joking, but it doesn’t make it right.

That does not reflect kindly upon Palin who very frequently in public appearances would use her son Trig as an example for kinder and more understanding treatment of children with special needs. It also calls into question her perhaps feigned, if not misguided, outraged reaction to a Photo-shopped illustration of her cradling a baby with the face of a conservative Alaskan radio personality on the basis that it was insulting to special needs children. Also regarding son Trig, Johnston said that Palin’s daughter Bristol performed most of the mothering.

Johnston did not however, unleash any bombshells about Palin, although he did let it be known that he still has plenty of ammunition.

Those are just little … things I put in Vanity Fair. You know, all the big things I got, I’m keeping — you know, i’m keeping them in, and — you know, it’s just something that probably will never come out.

Will it never come out? Perhaps Johnston is just holding back the big stuff for either future leverage against his once and future mother-in-law or as an enticement for some hush-up money. The plot thickens. The second segment of the Early Show interview will air tomorrow.

In honor of the troops, please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along to this Halloween inspired parody.

Rich Girl song link: http://www.last.fm/music/Hall%2B%2526%2BOates/_/Rich+Girl

WITCH GIRL III

(sung to the Hall & Oates song “Rich Girl”)

You’re a witch girl, up in A-las-ka
And it’s getting worse for you every day
You can perform like a Playboy Bunny
You can perform like a Playboy Bunny
You’re a stitch girl? Cuz you’re quite bizzare
So we really wish you would go away
Pray, Honey that we don’t send you too far
Send you too far

And don’t you know, don’t you know
That it’s wrong to preach politics of hate
You’re so far gone, so far gone
Lil’ Miss Caribou you belong in a zoo
Todd should be in there too

‘Cause

You’re a witch girl and you’re no big star
And mascara won’t help you hide your age
You can go on wearing rimless glasses
You can go on wearing rimless glasses
There’s a hitch girl, you’re a has-been now
And the voters have all left and turned the page
The pitbull is a pig with lipstick now
Now say “Bow Wow”

Not too bright, a bit insane
It’s so sleazy, to damn others just because they complain
Those little fools and their ethics rules
They just get in your way and impede your payday
They will rue the day, oh…

You’re a witch girl, and you’ve gone too far
But that defense fund should help to pay your way
You can rely on that SarahPAC money
You can rely on that SarahPAC money
You’ll be a rich girl with a brand new car
And then you’ll move your family far away
Save money but it won’t get you too far
Save money but it won’t get you too far
Save money but it won’t get you too far
Get you too far

And you say

You can rely on the SarahPAC money
You can rely on the SarahPAC money
You’re a rich girl, a witch girl
Oh, you’re a rich bitch girl yeah
Say money but it won’t get you too far
Oh, get ya too far

Levi Johnston Plans A Little Sweet Revenge On Sarah Palin

BristolPalinLeviJohnston

It appears that tomorrow will be one of those days that many of us have been looking forward to. Levi Johnston, the former future son-in-law of Sarah Palin, the former ex-quitting governor of Alaska will appear on the CBS Early Show. Ms. Palin should be warned however, that he ain’t happy with her. In fact, it looks like he is out for a little revenge in response to some of the comments that she and her staff have made regarding the father of her grandchild. Here are some of his quotes from the show:

If she’s gonna say things about me, I’m gonna leak things about her. That’s just how it is. Now it’s my turn. I’m just not going to take it anymore.

This begs the question, will there be anything left for Levi to bare in his Playgirl magazine spread this December? Tomorrow’s Early Show will  certainly be “Must See TV.”

Please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the song parody.

Lido Shuffle song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pNrZ5aLxyVE

LEVI SHUFFLE

(sung to the Boz Scaggs song “Lido Shuffle”)

Levi missed the vote
That day he caught some flack
Sarah was so damned pissed
But she was just a hack

At a Juneau bar
Drinkin’ from a jar, he heard a pop
She had enough
Good Ol’ Sarah fired a shot

He ran downtown, Sarah had an angry frown, an a-hole
He said, “One more jab oughta get her”
“Since she quit, things are better”
“Now hit the road !”

Levi, Whoa oh, oh, oh
Was Bristol’s honey, now he’s her foe
Levi’s fixin’ to make some dough

Levi, Whoa oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
He took one more stab at poor Sarah
“What’s with all that mascara?”
Now she’ll hit the road

Levi’s a dumb one
Havin’ great big fun rockin’ Palin’s boat
Dishin’ out all those low blows
For her, he will not vote

Palin’s flying ‘neath the tree-line
Levi in her sight line, goin’ for broke
Sayin’ “One good shot oughta do it”
“Take this bullet and chew it”
“I’ll just lock and load!”

Levi, Whoa oh, oh, oh
He’s for the money, he’s for the show
He’s Bristol Palin’s former beau

Levi, Whoa oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Palin should just forget it
But she just doesn’t get it
One mean horny toad!

Levi, Whoa oh, oh, oh
He’s for the money, he’s for the show
He’s Bristol Palin’s former beau
Levi, Whoa oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

Sarah Palin: The Greatest American Zero

PalinWonderWoman

Palin dons her Halloween costume at book signing.

Sarah Palin’s ghost-written memoir, Going Rogue is not the only pro-Palin tome soon to be released. U.S. News and World Report has revealed that Weekly Standard writer, Matthew Continetti has just released his loving ode to the former ex-quitting governor of Alaska. Continetti’s book is titled, The Persecution Of Sarah Palin and attempts to explain why the media and feminists alike disdain the failed Republican Vice Presidential nominee. Then again, is an explanation really necessary? Isn’t it blatantly obvious that Palin is repulsive to the media because she hid from it during most of her camaign? Additionally, don’t feminists dislike her because of her anti-feminist stance on such issues as equal pay for equal work and for charging rape victims for rape kits? Continetti disagrees and has a different take on the root of the revulsion. here a few tasty quotes:

The left recoils at a certain swagger, a manner of speech, and a lack of cultural embarrassment that the two (she and George W. Bush) share. Neither Bush nor Palin mind the fact that they are not part of this country’s cognoscenti. But until Palin showed up, one could have written off the liberal reaction to Bush as simply anti-Texan bias. That wasn’t it, however. Palin proved that at its root the reaction to these folksy Western politicians is a form of anti-provincialism; revulsion toward people who do not aspire to adopt the norms, values, politics and attitudes of the Eastern cultural elite.

So let’s get this straight, Continetti believes that the press did not like Palin because she shared the same traits as George W. Bush regarding a lack of norms, values and attitudes of the Eastern cultural elite. But wasn’t Bush born in Connecticut, then schooled and boarded at the prestigious Phillips Andover Academy in Massachusetts before obtaining his undergraduate degree at Yale University (where he was a member of the uber-elite Skull and Bones Society) and then his masters degree at Harvard University? Geesh, that sure is a lot of Eastern cultural elitism for most Americans. Maybe what Continetti meant to say was that despite college degrees, both Palin and Bush are dumber than door nails.

Continetti also claims that liberal left-leaning feminists like actress Tina Fey are simply jealous of Sarah Palin. He writes:

Palin’s sudden global fame rankled those feminists whose own path to glory had been difficult. To them, Palin was less a female success story than she was the beneficiary of male chauvinism. It was telling that Fey should be the actress who impersonated Palin. The two women may look like each other, but they could not be more dissimilar. Each exemplifies a different category of feminism. Palin comes from the I-can-do-it-all school. She is professionally successful, has been married for more than 20 years, and has a large and (from all outward appearances) happy family. And while Fey is also pretty, married, and has a daughter, the characters she portrays in films like Mean Girls and Baby Mama, and in television shows like 30 Rock, are hard-pressed eggheads who give up personal fulfillment—e.g., marriage and motherhood—in the pursuit of professional success.

Okay, let’s dissect and analyze those words of wisdom. First he claims that Palin is professionally successful, but didn’t she lose her last election bid and didn’t she quit her last job? Is that professional success? Then he says that she has a large and happy family. Did Continetti miss the fact that Palin had an unwed pregnant teen daughter? How happy did that make the “abstinence only” clan? He also failed to mention that Palin and her grandchild’s father are in an escalating tit for tat feud. How joyous. Oh, and then there was that time when she tried to get her brother-in-law fired from his job as an Alaskan State Trooper after having allegedly tazored her nephew. What a funny laugh riot that was. Last but not least, he failed to mention Palin’s sister-in-law’s burglary arrest. Every happy family should have a felon after all. In Continetti’s world the Palins are the next coming of the Brady Bunch.

And what does the writer do next? He compares Tina Fey to Palin by begrudgingly admitting that Fey is a successful, happily married mother but then making the ridiculous argument that the characters she portrays on screen reflect her personal life more accurately. I wonder if he was making that same argument when Ronald Reagan was palling around with Bonzo? Really folks, if these are the best arguments that Continetti can come up with to convince us that Sarah Palin is a super hero, then the Weekly Standard should review his qualifications for employment.

Today’s song parody is derived from the theme of the 1980’s television sitcom, The Greatest American Hero. In honor of the troops, please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.

The Greatest American Hero song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e9Q3orQhEcA

GREATEST AMERICAN ZERO

(sung to the TV Theme of Greatest American Hero)

Look at what’s happened to she,
She can’t believe it herself.
Once she was way up on top of the world,
It should have been somebody else.

Believe it or not,
Her head’s filled with air.
We don’t even care if she’s “mav-er-icky”,
Chatting away with her beehive styled hair
Who could it be?
We all know it’s just Sarah P.

She is in search of a pay-day,
Then she will dump the “First Dude”.
Meg doesn’t know if she’s out or she’s in,
SarahPAC has just found someone new.

Believe it or not,
She kills polar bears.
And she’s the queen of the G.O.P.,
But nobody in the rest of the world cares.
Who could it be?
We all know it’s just Sarah P.

Monday Night Music Byte

Edison Lighthouse was a UK pop group, initially a studio only assemblage that served as a vehicle for session vocalist Tony Burrows and songwriter/record producers Tony Macaulay and Barry Mason. They are best known for their 1970 UK chart-topper record, and million selling “Love Grows (Where My Rosemary Goes)”. The ‘original’ Edison Lighthouse was Tony Burrows (lead vocalist), Stuart Edwards (lead guitar), David Taylor (bass guitar), George Weyman (drums) and Ray Dorey (guitar). The group’s lone Top 40 hit “Love Grows (Where My Rosemary Goes)” (1970) was one of four near contemporaneous UK Singles Chart Top Ten hit singles by Burrows under different names, the others being White Plains’ “My Baby Loves Lovin'”, The Pipkins’ “Gimme Dat Ding”, and Brotherhood of Man’s “United We Stand”. Burrows was also lead vocalist on the single “Beach Baby” (1974) for another studio only group, The First Class. and million selling

“Love Grows (Where My Rosemary Goes)” was Number One for five weeks and sold 250,000 copies in the UK. “Love Grows” raced to the Number One position in its second week on the chart, which was at the time the quickest rise by an act new to the chart. The United States release was in February 1970 and reached Number 4 in the Billboard Hot 100, selling a million copies there by April earning the R.I.A.A. gold disc. In Canada the song reached #3.