Sarah Palin Reincarnates Her Fictitious “Death Panels”

Don’t you miss those halcyon days when every morning we were treated to some new breaking story detailing the insane antics of Sarah Palin and her family? We were entertained on a near daily basis as Palin claimed she could see Russia or she created her own words such as “refudiate” or when she claimed that Paul Revere was ringing bells and firing musket shots to warn the British during his famous midnight ride. It was hilarious to watch her struggle to name a single newspaper or magazine which she reads, or to name a Supreme Court decision which she disagreed with or to incorrectly explain the function of the Vice President to a 5th grader. Who will ever forget when she abruptly quit her position as Governor of Alaska after having served only half a term and then jumped right into the respectable field of reality television?

Ahhh, those were the days. Unfortunately (for us) however, Sarah Palin’s entertainment value came to a screeching halt last November when she announced that she would not seek the Republican nomination for President of the United States. Not only were we denied a year’s worth of belly-ache-inducing laughs, but the late night television talk shows and tabloid newspapers were denied a steady source of material.

But wait!… What’s this?… We have breaking Palin news!

Thank the heavens above. It’s true. Sarah Palin has awakened from her slumber and dusted off one of her favorite old chestnuts just in time for the Supreme Court’s ruling on the constitutionality of the new health care law known as the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act.

Remember when PolitiFact.com deemed Sarah Palin’s  assertion that the new law provided for “death panels” the “Biggest Lie of 2009“? Well that has not dissuaded the stubborn Palin from asserting the same thing once again.

You will recall that Palin initially uttered the phrase “death panels” when she opposed “end of life counseling sessions” in which physicians would educate patients on such useful estate planning tools as Durable Powers of Attorney, Health Care Proxies and Advance Directives (known as “Living Wills” in some jurisdictions). When she was forced to acknowledge that a member of the Republican Party (Maine Senator Olympia Snowe) was the initial proponent of “end of life counseling sessions”, she began to apply the phrase differently. She began claiming that “death panels” are government bureaucrats or commissions that will decide whether to pay for a patient’s health care based upon health condition or age. Despite the fact that the new law provided no such panels at all, Palin also seemed to miss the point that under our old broken health care system, insurance adjusters could unilaterally decide whether to pay for a patient’s health care based upon any arbitrary reason.

As of yesterday, Sarah Palin jumped right back on the “Death Panel” Express as if the lie was never exposed in the first place. She took to Facebook and wrote,

“I stand by everything I wrote in that warning to my fellow Americans because what was true then is true now, and it will remain true as we hear what the Supreme Court has to say… Though I was called a liar for calling it like it is, many of these accusers finally saw that Obamacare did in fact create a panel of faceless bureaucrats who have the power to make life and death decisions about health care funding.”

The Los Angeles Times however, points out that “Such a system also, according to most health experts, exists only in the imagination of Palin and others who took up the phrase as a cudgel against the legislation, which ultimately passed with no Republican support and was signed into law by President Obama  in March 2010.”

CNN reports that presently, Palin is “specifically referring to the Independent Payment Advisory Board (IPAB), a proposed group that would recommend how to achieve Medicare savings though would not sit in judgment of individual patients’ treatment courses.”

Truth be damned! Sarah Palin has proved once again that she is either stupid or has a very short memory.

Let’s take a quick look at some of Palin’s greatest hits, shall we?

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

The Wreck Of The Edmund Fitzgerald song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6U219P_zs7w

THE WRECK OF THE SARAH L. PALIN (Version Two)

(sung to the Gordon Lightfoot song “The Wreck Of The Edmund Fitzgerald ”)

The legend lives on from the North Slope on down
To the town they call Sandpoint, Idaho
The Heath’s one would say, had a daughter that day
Why they kept her, I must say, “I don’t know”

They loaded up the truck and they tested their luck
When they moved to Wasilla, Alaska
Sarah enrolled in school and was nobody’s fool
On the court they called her “Barracuda”.

In 1982 she left for Honolulu
Off to Hawaii Pacific College
She did not last long there nor at anywhere
In her quest for some meaningful knowledge.

She finally did see a journalism degree
After stints at 5 or 6 safety schools
Sometime in between she was a pageant queen
Then she worked in TV for KTUU.

She met up with her fate sometime in ’88
When her TV career was a failin’
And everyone knew, as her parents did too
She would soon be the Bride of Todd Palin.

Long before she did wed, she conceived in his bed
That was the end of her abstinency
While laid out on her back, she gave birth to Lil’ Track
The result of an unwed pregnancy.

She was now in a lurch cuz of her right wing church
But she carried on without a care
She had a beehive hairdo, but had nothing to do
That all changed when she became the Mayor.

She appointed some crooks then she banned some good books
No one lasted if they weren’t on her team
Wasilla’s deficit grew, kids fired-up on homebrew
Not to mention the methamphetamine.

She became the next Guv and to show the state love
She proposed to unite remote shore banks
But once in a bind she politely declined
To the bridge she said,”Thanks but no thanks”.

John McCain now you see had to choose a VP
His campaign was certainly failin’
He wanted a she that was trés “mavericky”
So he chose Alaska’s Sarah Palin.

But poor press reviews of her live interviews
With Couric and Gibson oft replayed
Showed she could not spar with the nightly news stars
Let alone outperform Tina Fey

The election was lost and poor Sarah was tossed
From her seat on “The Straight Talk Express”
She went home and did pose in her new store-bought clothes
But  Alaskans were not now impressed

She’s no longer a saint due to ethics complaints
She has nobody left now to wink at
Her opinions ignored and her actions abhorred
“Hockey mom” once again is a rink rat

Her career was a blip, it was a sinking ship
Her supporters are jumpin’ and bailin’
Her character flaws became the final straw
For the wreck known as Sarah L. Palin