Blog Archives

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 80

Just a few newsworthy items (and comments thereon) that have been making their way through the political universe this past week but may have escaped your attention. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful day during this unofficial first-weekend of summer!

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “You Gotta Love It” features The St. Paul Pioneer Press. Tim Pawlenty‘s hometown newspaper printed the the former Minnesota Governor’s announcement to run as a Republican presidential candidate on its obituary page.

THIS JUST IN: Wisconsin state officials have scheduled the first recall elections of state Republican lawmakers for July 12. That day, voters will decide whether to recall three GOP lawmakers who supported Gov. Scott Walker’s bill to curb the collective bargaining rights of state workers.

BREAKING NEWS:  The next time that some Teapublican tells you that President Barack Obama has thrown Israel under the bus for suggesting a two state solution “based on” 1967 borders “with mutually agreed swaps”, please remind them to stifle their outrage inasmuch as President George W. Bush suggested the same thing in 2005. Where was all the shock then?

THIS JUST IN: Quote of the week: “In 2009 I had the sense if she made it to the White House and I had stayed silent, I could never forgive myself,” – Author and former Sarah Palin staffer Frank Bailey commenting to the Associated Press.

BREAKING NEWS:  Remember back during the 1988 presidential election season when Republicans seized upon furloughed criminal and recidivist Willie Horton as a means to attack Democratic nominee, Michael Dukakis? Well it looks like 2012 Republican presidential candidate Tim Pawlenty now has his own Willie Horton to worry about. You see, two years ago Pawlenty pardoned and wiped clean the criminal record of Jeremy Geifer, who had been convicted for having sex with a 14 year old girl. Well, it turns out that Geifer sought to have his record cleared so that his wife could open a day care center. Turns out, Geifer has now been accused of molesting his own daughter.

THIS JUST IN:  This week’s episode of “Don’t Mess With The Medicare” features Republican candidate Jane Corwin and Tea Party candidate Jack Davis. In the heavily Republican New York 26th District, those candidates lost to Democrat Kathy Hochul as the result of their unqualified support for Republican Paul Ryan’s plan to dismantle the popular Medicare program. Going forward, it will be interesting to see how many Republican candidates attempt to distance themselves from their party’s plan. It is a “lose/lose” situation for the GOP because those politicians who run from the plan will disrupt party unity while those that continue to support it will face voter backlash. This will be fun to watch.

BREAKING NEWS:  It was nice to see the US Senate hold a vote on Republican Paul Ryan‘s Medicare Destruction Act. The final vote was 57-40 against passage of the bill, mostly along party lines. Republicans who joined the majority Democrats in opposing the measure were Scott Brown of Massachusetts, Lisa Murkowski of Alaska, Rand Paul of Kentucky, and Olympia Snowe and Susan Collins of Maine. Those GOP members that supported bill will now probably face massive voter backlash. Yipee!

THIS JUST IN:  For the sake of being, dare I say “fair and balanced”, we should note that not all vulgar hate speech comes from the right. Last week progressive talk radio and MSNBC television host Ed Schultz was rightfully suspended for referring to moonbat-crazy conservative radio host Laura Ingraham as a “right wing slut”. Schultz did the right by issuing an almost immediate apology but the fact remains that that type of language is hateful.

BREAKING NEWS:  Fox News Comment of the week. Headline: “CAIR: Bin laden More Like ‘Neo-Nazi, White Supremacist'”. Reader Comment:  “CAIR is another enemy within. All Americans need to take action against mus lims. Do not do business with them, do not hire them, do not allow them respect or equality. It is up to the people to rid ourselves of this social cancer.”

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Fox On The Run song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2MDCbIhTa_w

FOX ON THE RUN

(sung to the Sweet song “Fox On The Run”)

Why is that network insane
No one there has a brain
So easy to abhor
Each day they add a new pretty face
But they’re losing in the gene pool race
They speak like sidewalk whores

Fox on the run
They scream and everybody starts a-running
Beck, Britt Hume and big Bill O’Reilly
Fox is on the run
F-foxy, Fox is on the run. They’ll fade away.

Koo-Koo, that is the Fox network brand
As “fair and balanced” as DisneyLand
So easy to ignore
News, that is so God damned lame
Should hide their heads in shame
And show their hosts the door

Fox on the run
They scream and everybody starts a-running
Beck, Britt Hume and big Bill O’Reilly
Fox is on the run
F-foxy, Fox is on the run. They’ll fade away.

(musical interlude)

F-foxy, Fox is on the run
They scream and think that we’re having fun
Take a run and hide yourself away
Fox is on the run
F-foxy, Fox is on the run. They’ll fade away.

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Turn Out The Lights, The Tea Party’s Over For Joe Miller

How dare you lose, Joe Miller!

The Boston Blizzard of 2010 is now over and we are back online. More about that in the next few days. In the meantime, Lynnrockets would like to get back to business. So, without further ado…

It is not “Miller Time” in Alaska. The “Fat Lady” is now singing quite loudly. Stick a fork in Joe Miller because he is done. Turn out the lights because the Tea Party’s over. Add your favorite cliché (here).

Finally, Alaska’s Tea Party candidate for U.S. Senate, Joe Miller is admitting defeat (sort of). On Sunday, his campaign issued a press release in which he said that he will cease his attempts to prohibit the Alaska Division of Elections from certifying that Republican Lisa Murkowski was the winner of the November election. His decision came as the result of the Alaska Supreme Court’s unanimous ruling against Miller’s election challenge. Consequently, Murkowski will now take her Senate seat and Alaska will have full representation when Congress reconvenes in January.

Miller however, will not fade away peacefully. The Sarah Palin endorsed candidate with a troubled past will continue litigation in the federal court system. He admits that his efforts have no chance of overturning the election, but he would like to see his devastating loss marginalized by a reduction in the number of votes awarded to write-in candidate Murkowski. Presently, unofficial results show Murkowski winning the election by more than 10,000 votes in the sparsely populated state.

It would appear that Miller’s federal court action has nothing to do with the citizens of Alaska and everything to do with his own vanity. Miller believes that if the final results show a narrower margin of victory for Murkowski, he will have a better chance of running for elected office in the future. He seems oblivious to the fact that he was soundly embarrassed by his lopsided loss to a write-in candidate. He also does not seem to realize that his popularity and credibility were diminished on an almost daily basis during his campaign as several less than flattering revelations regarding his past were revealed to the public. His popularity plunged even more after each of his successive court losses in the state system. In short, Joe Miller’s dreams for future elective office are illusory at best. Everyone seems cognizant of this fact except Joe Miller.

The demise of Joe Miller is also a blow to Sarah Palin. She had already suffered the indignity of having most of her high profile Tea Party endorsees lose in the mid-term elections. The nation’s voters rejected Palin’s judgment in supporting such moonbat-crazy candidates as Sharron “2nd Amendment Remedies” Angle, Christine “Witchy Woman” O’Donnell, Linda “Woman Are Sex Objects” McMahon, Carly “Worst CEO In History” Fiorina, Meg “illegal Housekeeper” Whitman, John “Lasers In The Sky” Raese, Tom “Bomb Mecca” Tancredo, Sean “Privatize Social Security” Bielat, Ken “No Abortion For Rape Victims” Buck and Dino “Repeal Wall Street Reform” Rossi. Still, the Alaskan voter rejection of Joe “Dump Social Security” Miller is the most embarrassing loss of all. Sarah Palin went “all in” on Miller in an effort to punish Murkowski and to simultaneously solidify her influence in Alaska. With Miller’s stunning defeat, Palin not only lost the hand, but she was forced out of the game. Sarah Palin will now be viewed as a limited political figure that cannot even garner support from her own fellow Alaskans.

Odds are that Palin too will now disavow Joe Miller. As we all know, Sarah Palin’s loyalty only runs as deep as her profit margin.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Tom Dooley song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AoBLGE2cCdU

HANG DOWN YOUR HEAD, JOE MILLER

(sung to the Kingston Trio song “Tom Dooley”)

Throughout history
There’ve been many songs written about the political triangle
This next one tells the story of Sarah Palin, Lisa Murkowski
And a defeated man named Joe Miller…
When the sun rises tomorrow, Joe Miller…will be gone…

Hang down your head, Joe Miller
Hang down your head and cry
Hang down your head, Joe Miller
Election hopes have died

No room on Senate mountain
Voters said, “No dice”
Lisa drinks from that fountain
She put Joe on ice

Hang down your head, Joe Miller
Hang down your head and cry
Hang down your head, Joe Miller
Election hopes have died

This time tomorrow
Know where Joe will be?
His time he will be wastin’
Just cryin’ with Sarah P.

(well now boy)

Hang down your head, Joe Miller
Hang down your head and cry
Hang down your head, Joe Miller
Election hopes have died

Hang down your head, Joe Miller
Hang down your head and cry
Hang down your head, Joe Miller
Election hopes have died

This time tomorrow
Joe will finally see
Down in the Mat Su Valley
They voted for Murkowski

Hang down your head, Joe Miller
Hang down your head and cry
Hang down your head, Joe Miller
Election hopes have died

Hang down your head, Joe Miller
Hang down your head and cry
Hang down your head, Joe Miller
Election hopes have died

Poor boy your hopes have died
Poor boy your hopes have died
Poor boy your hopes have –  died

Palin and Miller Get Spanked By Alaskans

I lost by just this much!

It is not “Miller Time” in Alaska. The “Fat Lady” is now singing quite loudly. Stick a fork in Joe Miller because he is done. Turn out the lights because the Tea Party’s over. Add your favorite cliché (here).

Republican Senator Lisa Murkowski has declared victory in Alaska’s bitter and prolonged Senate battle. The result sends a stinging message to Tea Party candidate Joe Miller that the state’s voters do not favor the Tea Party’s radically conservative political agenda. It also sends a biting message to Sarah Palin that she now carries little to no political influence in her home state. The former ex-quitting half-term Governor endorsed Miller in the election.

Sarah Palin had made it quite clear that she was no friend of the Murkowski family. She not only had a history of bad-mouthing Lisa Murkowski, but also her father Frank Murkowski who served as Alaska’s Governor prior to Palin. In an attempt to derail Lisa Murkowski’s Senate campaign, Palin endorsed the little known Joe Miller in her frenzy of nationwide Tea Party candidate endorsements. Palin’s plan met with some early success when Miller defeated Murkowski in the Republican primary, but that success was short-lived.

Refusing to accept defeat at the hands of Sarah Palin, Murkowski ran as a Republican write-in candidate in the general election. Her campaign gained steam as voters became aware of Miller’s shady past and grew tired of Palin’s meddling in the affairs of the state that she politically abandoned. Alaska’s voters, in turn, abandoned both Miller and Palin and wrote the letters “L-I-S-A  M-U-R-K-O-W-S-K-I” on enough election day ballots to defy the odds and send the incumbent back to Washington for a second term. Lisa Murkowski became the first write-in candidate to win a U.S. Senate seat since 1954. How do you like them apples, Joe and Sarah?

Sarah Palin had already suffered the indignity of having most of her high profile Tea Party endorsees lose in the mid-term elections. The nation’s voters rejected Palin’s judgment in supporting such moonbat-crazy candidates as Sharron “2nd Amendment Remedies” Angle, Christine “Witchy Woman” O’Donnell, Linda “Woman Are Sex Objects” McMahon, Carly “Worst CEO In History” Fiorina, Meg “illegal Housekeeper” Whitman, John “Lasers In The Sky” Raese, Tom “Bomb Mecca” Tancredo, Sean “Privatize Social Security” Bielat, Ken “No Abortion For Rape Victims” Buck and Dino “Repeal Wall Street Reform” Rossi. Nevertheless, the Alaskan voter rejection of Joe “Dump Social Security” Miller was the most embarrassing loss of all. Sarah Palin went “all in” on Miller in an effort to punish Murkowski and to simultaneously solidify her influence in Alaska. With Miller’s stunning defeat, Palin not only lost the hand, but she was forced out of the game. Sarah Palin will now be viewed as a limited political figure that cannot even garner support from her own fellow Alaskans.

Lisa Murkowski now has the upper hand in Alaska and it did not take her long to go on the offensive. Tasting imminent election victory, Murkowski on Monday said that Palin is not worldly enough for the nation’s highest office. Adding insult to Palin’s injury, Murkowski said she will repay the moderates, Independents and Democrats that elected her by not voting strictly with her party. She said,

“I will tell you, I am not one of those who wants Obama to fail. If he does well, that means the country’s doing well. We don’t have time as a nation to spend all of what we do blocking. We have got to figure out how we get to a point where we can be sitting around the table and talking about these difficult problems and advancing some solutions.”

Take that, Sarah Palin! Even a Republican Senator from your home state disavows your unpopular political positions.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Tom Dooley song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AoBLGE2cCdU

HANG DOWN YOUR HEAD, JOE MILLER

(sung to the Kingston Trio song “Tom Dooley”)

Throughout history
There’ve been many songs written about the political triangle
This next one tells the story of Sarah Palin, Lisa Murkowski
And a defeated man named Joe Miller…
When the sun rises tomorrow, Joe Miller…will be gone…

Hang down your head, Joe Miller
Hang down your head and cry
Hang down your head, Joe Miller
Election hopes have died

No room on Senate mountain
Voters said, “No dice”
Lisa drinks from that fountain
She put Joe on ice

Hang down your head, Joe Miller
Hang down your head and cry
Hang down your head, Joe Miller
Election hopes have died

This time tomorrow
Know where Joe will be?
His time he will be wastin’
Just cryin’ with Sarah P.

(well now boy)

Hang down your head, Joe Miller
Hang down your head and cry
Hang down your head, Joe Miller
Election hopes have died

Hang down your head, Joe Miller
Hang down your head and cry
Hang down your head, Joe Miller
Election hopes have died

This time tomorrow
Joe will finally see
Down in the Mat Su Valley
They voted for Murkowski

Hang down your head, Joe Miller
Hang down your head and cry
Hang down your head, Joe Miller
Election hopes have died

Hang down your head, Joe Miller
Hang down your head and cry
Hang down your head, Joe Miller
Election hopes have died

Poor boy your hopes have died
Poor boy your hopes have died
Poor boy your hopes have –  died

Truth Be Told: It’s Not Sarah Palin’s Alaska – (Updated)

The Learning Channel (now known as TLC because there’s not much learnin’ goin’ on there) chose a dubious title for its newest and lamest reality show. “Sarah Palin’s Alaska” might give viewers the impression that the former ex-quitting half-term Governor is popular in her home state. Such is not the case. In fact, Sarah Palin is probably more unpopular than most any other Alaskan of note, with the possible exception of Teapublican Senate candidate Joe Miller.

Consider this. Back in 2008 when John McCain foolishly chose her as his running mate, Palin was marketed as the most popular governor in the nation. The G.O.P. claimed that her popularity was credited to the fact that she was an “outsider” who had toppled Alaska’s “establishment” politicians. In essence, the Republicans branded Palin as a fresh face with no negative personal history and an unbreakable commitment to conservative policy and practice. Such a characterization would have been appealing to most Republicans … if only it was true.

When the national spotlight fell upon Sarah Palin’s beauty-pageant-tested visage, it revealed a plethora of unsightly blemishes that were previously hidden even from most Alaskans. Palin was running around the country telling voters that she was against federal earmarks such as the now infamous “Bridge to Nowhere”. She boasted that she told the feds “thanks, but no thanks” for its funding. Media scrutiny however, revealed that in fact, she “was for it before she was against it”. Next, Alaskans and the nation learned that the “abstinence only” advocating Palin had an unwed pregnant teen-aged daughter. Soon thereafter, a video surfaced of the “born again” Palin having demons cast from her body. This was followed by the media revealing that she inquired as to how books could be banned from a public library and how she and her husband attempted to have a state trooper (who happened to be her estranged former brother-in-law) fired as retribution for a family squabble. The media then discovered that husband Todd was (and Sarah Palin may have been) a member of a political party who’s stated purpose is to have Alaska secede from the United States of America. Very strange and unsavory stuff.

As each campaign day passed, more and more was revealed about the previously unknown Palin and it was not pretty. We learned that it took her six years at five sub-par colleges to earn a mere bachelors degree. We questioned the authenticity of that degree when we witnessed her inarticulate answers to questions on nationally televised interviews and at the Vice Presidential Debate. We learned that the educationally challenged candidate mothered two children that were school drop-outs. It got worse by the day and thankfully (for Palin and the nation), November 4th came along and she and McCain were crushed at the polls by Barack Obama and “Do you mind if I call you Joe” Biden.

The nation was saved, but the same could not be said of Alaska. The dejected and now bitterly scornful Palin limped back to her home state to complete her term as governor. Or did she? Many Alaskans were upset that they too learned a lot about Sarah Palin that they did not like. As they looked deeper into her governorship, they learned of things like the fact that she collected per-diem pay for living and working at home and seldom darkened the door of the state capital. She took her children, at taxpayer expense, on many unnecessary trips. One by one the ethics complaints filed against Sarah Palin began to pile up. The bloom had come off the Palin rose and Sarah knew it. So what did Palin do? Did she suck it up, change her ways and continue to govern as best she could? Not quite. Instead, she abruptly quit the position in July of 2009 after only having served half of one term.

Perhaps Sarah Palin did not get the memo, but most voters consider it an insult to up and quit the position that they recently voted you into. Her approval rating in Alaska plummeted. For the first time, when Palin made public appearances in Alaska, demonstrators began to show up with derogatory signs. Heck, even her next door neighbor contacted the author that was writing a scathing book about Palin and offered her house to him so that he would have close proximity to his subject. Ouch!

Somehow things are still getting worse. This campaign season Sarah Palin elected to buck both the national and Alaskan Republican Party by endorsing a Tea Party candidate for Lisa Murkowski’s Alaskan U.S. Senate seat. Surprisingly, Palin’s candidate (Joe Miller) defeated Palin’s enemy Murkowski in the Republican primary. Murkowski however, tore a page from the Palin handbook and decided to “Reload, Not Retreat”. She launched a write-in candidacy and turned fiercely against both Miller and Palin. The moderate Republicans, Independents and even some Democrats responded favorably. The one thing that these disparate voters had in common was a unified opposition to Palin and Miller. Consequently, on November 2, 2010 they turned out en masse and may have elected the first write-in candidate to the U.S. Senate since 1954. No small feat.

Tasting imminent electoral victory, Murkowski went on the offensive against Palin on Monday when she told CBS that Palin is not worldly enough for the nation’s highest office. More specifically she said,

“I just do not think that she has those leadership qualities, that intellectual curiosity that allows for building good and great policies. You know, she was my governor for two years. And I don’t think that she enjoyed governing.”

To add insult to Palin’s injury, Murkowski signaled that if elected, she will repay moderates, Independants and even those Democrats that voted for her by not voting strictly with her party. She said,

“I will tell you, I am not one of those who wants Obama to fail. If he does well, that means the country’s doing well. We don’t have time as a nation to spend all of what we do blocking. We have got to figure out how we get to a point where we can be sitting around the table and talking about these difficult problems and advancing some solutions.”

Take that, Sarah Palin! Even a Republican Senator from your home state disavows your unpopular political positions. No. it clearly is not “Sarah Palin’s Alaska”!

UPDATE

Sometimes we can’t make this stuff up. Watch Gretchen Carlson of Fox News describe Sarah Palin as “self defecating” rather than “self deprecating”. Bwa ha ha ha ha ! Does that mean that Palin craps all over herself?


Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

American Pie song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uAsV5-Hv-7U

ALASKAN PIE

(sung to the Don McLean song “American Pie”)

A long, long time ago…
I can still remember
Palin’s slutty flight attendant style
And when she blew her only chance
With John McCain in the Big Dance
In light of the pregnancy of her child

In February she did shiver
When Levi sold her down the river
Bad news at her doorstep
She didn’t have no more pep

The allegations she denied
Of all those gifts that she did hide
She took Alaskans for a ride
As she cajoled and lied

So bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
And your background boys were making turkey head pie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July

Did you quit the job you love
After talking with God up above?
Did the good Lord tell you so?
Are you still pals with Plumber Joe?
Do dead fish still “go with the flow”?
And can Todd’s sister score me some good blow?

Well you know that your prospects are grim
’cause you’re way way out there on a limb
You’re sure to have the blues
Man, you screwed up those interviews

You’re just a lonely mid-aged “hockey mom”
With real deep frustration and a man that’s dumb
You’re just a third rate school alum
Today your future died

We started singing
Bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
And your background boys were making turkey head pie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July

Now for two years all you did was drone
Remember Sarkozy on the phone?
But just what will your future be?
Will you pester us like a has-been queen?
Will you pout and whine like a spoiled teen?
In a voice that sounds so shrill and mean,

Oh, and when you leave Wasilla town
Take along your beauty pageant crown
And bridges that you burned
Oh, please never return
And those hits you took will leave some marks
A “Barracuda” is no shark
And you were always in the dark
Today your future died

We were singing
Bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
And your background boys were making turkey head pie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July

Helter skelter you are sure to swelter
The ice in your veins may even melt-ah
Ethics problems coming fast
You’re landing hard on your ass
No throwing stones in a house of glass
When you’re starring in a demon cleansing mass

Now your thinning hair reeks with perfume
You’re a spaceman cuz you see the moon
Your fans would shout and dance
Oh, to your “drill baby drill” chants!
Katie Couric made you squirm and squeal
And that was when your fate was sealed
Do you recall what was revealed
The day your future died?

We started singing
Bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
And your background boys were making turkey head pie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July

Oh, and then that look upon your face
Not knowing a Supreme Court case
Forget about the Bush Doctrine
So come on: jack be nimble, jack be quick
Sarah Palin’s no “Maverick”
Cuz she’s just a “Barbie” to Todd’s “Ken”

As we watched you on that debate stage
Your hands were clenched in fists of rage
Everyone then could tell
You were praying for the bell
And as you hoped that you could land a right,
To salvage something of the night
We saw Biden laughing with delight
That day your future died

Joe was singing
Bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
And your background boys were making turkey head pie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July

Palin’s a girl who has the blues
And she cannot handle interviews
She quit her job and walked away
She could not take it any more
She hightailed it right out the door
Just like a scared child, she up and ran away

And in the streets the voters beamed,
The good Lord had fulfilled their dreams
Sherry Johnston was tokin’
The “barracuda” broken
We did not really want to boast
But “Mama Bear” was finally toast
She’ll write about it through her ghost
That day her future died.

And we were singing
Bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
And your background boys were making turkey head pie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July

We were singing
Bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
And your background boys were making turkey head pie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July

Spread The Butter Cuz Sarah Palin Is Toast

 

If you're finished and you know it, clap your hands!

 

To all the Palinbots out there, it is time to face the ugly truth. Sarah Palin is no longer the flavor of the month. Her moment has passed. Her star has flamed out. Her influence has waned. She is quickly becoming an “also ran”. A loser.

Like so many flashes in the pan before her, Sarah Palin captured the attention of this nation for a short while. When she was chosen as John McCain’s running-mate in 2008, nobody had ever heard of her. That anonymity alone made her interesting. “Who is this person that may be second in line for the presidency?” the national media and the rest of us wondered.

The interest increased on a daily basis as more and more of her dirty little secrets were revealed. The “abstinence only” born again Christian has a pregnant unwed teen daughter? It took her 6 years at 5 mediocre colleges to earn a mere bachelor’s degree? She tried to have her brother-in-law fired from his job as an Alaskan State Trooper? She inquired about banning books at the local library? She had a witch doctor drive demons from her body? She chose her children’s names by throwing a dart at a dictionary page? (OK, we made that one up, but it fits in perfectly well with the rest). You have to admit, this was interesting stuff. Sarah Palin’s life resembled the perfect marriage between a Lifetime channel cable TV movie and an episode of the Beverly Hillbillies.

“Enquiring minds” wanted to know about every wacky detail of this crazy woman’s entertaining life. We were not disappointed. Soon we learned about “bridges to nowhere” and “thanks but no thanks”. Her disastrous nationally televised interviews gave us the hilarious gifts of “you can see Russia from Alaska”, “I’ll have’ta get back to ya on that”, and the now famous “all of ’em any of ’em”. She even introduced us to some new sidekicks such as the “pitbull with lipstick”, “Joe Sixpack” and her new BFF, “Joe the Plumber”.

Despite the fact that Palin’s antics entertained us throughout the presidential campaign, the fact is that a vast majority of Americans did not take her seriously. Her ticket lost in an epic landslide and it would have been best for America if she disappeared ala Dan Quayle. But such was not the case. We may have been done with Palin, but she was not done with us. In short, she refused to go away.

She found a willing loudspeaker for her hate-fueled radically conservative rhetoric at the insane asylum known as Fox News. The network’s uneducated, brainwashed audience rabidly ingested every unintelligible sentence that Palin vomited. Sarah Palin became the pied piper of the misinformed masses and she relished her status. So, in July 2009 she quit her day job as Governor of Alaska (after only having served for one half of one term), hired a ghostwriter to pen her fictitious memoir and embarked on a nationwide fee-based book signing and public speaking tour. Always in demand, Palin spoke at such prestigious events as the Liquor Wholesalers Convention, the Bowling Convention and the highly coveted Battery Back-up Sump Pump Convention. The sky was the limit.

There was one little problem, however. The national Republican leadership was not so enamored with Palin. After having just been trounced in the nationwide elections, the G.O.P. was inclined to distance itself somewhat from this eccentric curiosity in its quest to rebuild a solid constituency. The party leadership did not want to consider the possibility of Sarah Palin representing them on the Sunday morning television news programs. They moved on.

Enter the Tea Party. The misinformed masses that watch Fox News and listen to the likes of Rush Limbaugh, Ann “the Man” Coulter and Laura Ingraham began to gather their pitchforks and torches and coalesce around the idea that they could take over the Republican Party and reform it in their image of racism, violence, fear and anarchy. Sarah Palin encouraged this malleable group of uneducated nitwits with talk of “death panels”, “reloading” and the “lamstream media” It was all “us against them” and the Tea-Baggers not only took the poison, but they appointed Sarah Palin as their de-facto Queen.

She willingly accepted the title. Then, when Palin learned of the sophomoric means of communication known as “The Twitter” and “Facebook”, she began to issue edicts to her minions on a daily basis and in a crude form of semi-English that they could understand. She ordered them to support her hand-picked assortment of radically fringe yet ultimately unelectable candidates who she referred to as “Mama Grizzlies”. And her subjects followed orders.

The Palin led Tea-Baggers vaulted candidates to primary election victories over mainstream Republican candidates despite their radical (and sometimes insane) objectives such as repealing the 10th and 14th Amendments, privatizing Social Security, removing fluoride from the nation’s water supply, banning abortions for victims of rape and incest, forcing elders to pay $ 2,000.00 Medicare deductibles and “horror of horrors” banning masturbation. Sarah Palin climbed out onto a very thin limb by personally endorsing these very high profile eccentric candidates and by doing so, she put her own credibility on the line.

Palin’s credibility has now been destroyed. On election day the nation’s voters said “no” to Sharron “2nd Amendment remedies” Angle. The voters said “no” to Christine “Masturbation is Adultery” O’Donnell. The voters said “no” to Linda “Women are Sex Objects” McMahon. The voters said “no” to Carly “Worst CEO in History” Fiorina. The voters said “no” to Meg “Illegal Housekeeper” Whitman. The voters said “no” to John “Lasers in the Sky” Raese. The voters said “no” to Sean “Privatize Social Security” Bielat. The voters said “no” to Tom “Let’s Bomb Mecca” Tancredo. The voters said “no” to Ken “No Abortion For Rape Victims” Buck. The voters said “no” to Dino “Repeal Wall Street Reform” Rossi. And, it looks like the voters will say “no” to Joe “Dump Social Security” Miller. In short, Sarah Palin was “refudiated” in a big way.

Even someone over at ever-friendly Fox News has now turned against Sarah Palin. On Thursday Mort Kondracke said, “She’s a joke even within her own party. The idea that she would be the presidential nominee is unthinkable.”

The lesson learned is that Sarah Palin is widely popular among a small group of radically misinformed fanatics, but her ideas and endorsements carry very little weight with the voting population as a whole. To the mainstream American voter, Sarah Palin is nothing more than an entertaining and curiously magnetic oddity much like the sympathy inducing side-show freaks of days gone by. We like being entertained by her antics but we have no desire to participate in her stage show or to be subject to her leadership in any capacity. That is why most of us hope that she runs for president in 2012. We know that we will enjoy the benefit of being amused while simultaneously being comforted by the fact that she has no chance of damaging the country by being elected.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

I’m A Loser song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tXHO7hScOCA

SHE’S A LOSER

(sung to the Beatles song “I’m A Loser”)

She’s a loser
She’s a loser
Palin’s just what she appears to be

Of the elections she’s won, more have lost
Tea Party honor has come at a cost
She called both Angle and Miller a friend
But her endorsement hurt them in the end

She’s a loser
And a victim of the Tea Party
She’s a loser
Now she’s hated by the G.O.P.

Sarah P. talks and she acts like a clown
She’s been rejected by nude-boy Scott Brown
The jeers are falling like rain from the sky
She can’t be saved by the wink of her eye

She’s a loser
Like the members of the Tea Party
She’s a loser
And she’s only out to make a fee

(Russia viewing break)

She loves to spread her politics of hate
When she got caught she just quit on her state
Oh yes it’s true, she is in a free fall
Palin is screwed like a fish to the wall

She’s a loser
And she lost again so recently
She’s a loser
For some proof just turn on Fox TV

Halloween Tricks And A Few Treats – 57

Just a few spooky and newsworthy events (and comments thereon) that have been making their way through the political universe this past week. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful Halloween! Have fun and stay safe!

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Endorsing Your Opponent” features California’s Republican gubernatorial candidate Meg Whitman. The illegal alien hiring Whitman stars in her Democratic Party opponent, Jerry Brown’s new campaign ad wherein she tells the world how great things were in California 30 years ago…when Brown was the Governor. Vote for Democrat Jerry Brown on Tuesday!

THIS JUST IN: Jury selection began this week in former Republican House Majority Leader Tom DeLay‘s money laundering trial. The Republican was indicted in 2005 on charges he illegally sent $190,000 in corporate money through the Republican National Committee to help elect GOP Texas legislative candidates in 2002. It seems quite appropriate that this jerk’s trial will commence during the Halloween season. Let’s hope a lot of skeletons come out of Delay’s deep, dark closet.

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Crazy Republicans and the Crazy Things They Say” features West Virginia’s Teapublican candidate for Governor, John Raese. West Virginia Gov. Joe Manchin, the state’s Democratic Senate nominee, launched a campaign ad last Monday calling his opponent’s ideas “crazy” and “bad for West Virginia.” The ad compiles video clips of Republican John Raese making a series of seemingly controversial statements, such as, “I’ve already been defeated three times. That’s a pretty good message from West Virginia I think.” And later, “We don’t need the Department of Education.” and “… We need 1,000 laser systems put in the sky, and we need it right now.” John Raese is crazy. Vote for Democrat Joe Manchin on Tuesday!

THIS JUST IN: Don’t you just love watching Republicans eat their young? The UK Telegraph reported this week that Karl “Turd Blossom” Rove believes that Sarah Palin is unqualified to be President. Rove is quoted as saying, “With all due candour, appearing on your own reality show on the Discovery Channel, I am not certain how that fits in the American calculus of ‘that helps me see you in the Oval Office’,”. He added that the promotional clip for Sarah Palin’s Alaska could be especially detrimental to any political campaign. It features the mother of five in the great outdoors saying: “I would rather be doing this than in some stuffy old political office.” It appears that the former half-term, ex-quitting Governor of Alaska is becoming somewhat of a lightweight in Republican circles.

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “If You Can’t Beat ‘Em, Sue ‘Em” features Massachusetts Republican candidate for US Congress Bill Hudak. Democratic Party incumbent John Tierney this week released a blistering campaign ad wherein he cites newspapers that have refereed to Hudak as “toxic” and “a poisonous kook”. In retaliation, Hudak has filed a lawsuit in attempt to have the ads pulled from the airwaves. The lawsuit however, has little to no chance of success because Massachusetts courts have long ruled against prior restraints against publication on First Amendment grounds. A Tierney spokesperson said, “Bill Hudak’s action is without merit or legal precedence. It is an attempt to intimidate speech in the context of a political campaign, and we will respond appropriately in court.” UPDATE:  Case closed. The court ruled against Hudak and he dismissed his lawsuit. Vote for Democrat John Tierney on Tuesday! Here is the hilarious ad:

THIS JUST IN: To all of you Alaska voters that are willing to do anything to prevent Teapublican Joe Miller from being elected to the U.S. Senate, pay close attention. Pinch your noses and write L-I-S-A  M-U-R-K-O-W-S-K-I.

BREAKING NEWS: The next time that someone tries to tell you that the Tea Party is not violent and dangerous inform them of this. The Dallas Morning News reports that Teapublican congressional candidate Stephen Broden stunned his says he would not rule out violent overthrow of the government if elections did not produce a change in leadership. In a rambling exchange during a TV interview, Broden said a violent uprising “is not the first option,” but it is “on the table. We have a constitutional remedy, and the Framers say if that don’t work, revolution.” He added, “The option is on the table. I don’t think that we should remove anything from the table as it relates to our liberties and our freedoms.” Vote for Democrat Eddie Bernice Johnson on Tuesday!

THIS JUST IN: At a gathering in Texas last Tuesday, former President George W. Bush said, “I miss being pampered” in reference to his time in the Oval Office. Think about that for a moment. While this nation suffered from the worst terrorist attack in its history on 9/11/01 and while thousands of soldiers died in his war of choice, he enjoyed the pampering.

BREAKING NEWS: The next time that someone tries to tell you that the Tea Party is not violent and dangerous inform them of this. A Tea Party-backed candidate who allegedly murdered two unarmed Iraqis is seeking a seat in the House of Representatives, The Guardian reports. Thirty-nine-year-old Ilario Pantano, who is running for North Carolina’s 7th congressional district as a Republican, was charged with the premeditated murder of two Iraqi civilians in 2005 while serving as a second lieutenant with the US Marines. Sergeant Daniel Coburn, who was 27 at the time and one of the three soldiers at the incident, recalled wondering “when the lieutenant was going to stop, because it was obvious that they were dead.” “I believed that by firing the number of rounds that I did, I was sending a message,” Pantano told the New York magazine. All charges against Pantano, who was facing a possible death sentence, were later dropped due to insufficient evidence. Vote for Democrat Mike McIntyre on Tuesday!

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “I’m As Crazy As Christine O”Donnell” features Colorado Teapublican Senate candidate Ken Buck. He says that he “disagree[d] strongly with the concept of separation of church and state,” and that “it was not written into the Constitution.” Buck should be reminded that while the Constitution doesn’t contain the exact words “separation of church and state,” legal scholars and the courts agree it does prohibit the establishment or endorsement of religion. Furthermore, in 1801, Thomas Jefferson wrote that “religion is a matter which lies solely between Man & his God,” and argued the Constitution required “building a wall of separation between Church & State.” Vote for Democrat Michael Bennet on Tuesday!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

We Didn’t Start The Fire song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eFTLKWw542g

WE DIDN’T START THE LYING

(sung to the Billy Joel song “We Didn’t Start The Fire”)

Ronald Reagan, Larry Craig, Mark Sanford, Tom Delay
Michelle Malkin, Michele Bachmann, “Goin’ with the flow”

Joe McCarthy, Richard Nixon, Howard Baker, lack of vision
Spreading Fear, Acting queer, and ole Sixpack Joe

No icebergs, H-Bomb, “Pay for play”, “Hockey Mom”
Landrieu, Hamid Karzai, and that Michael Savage guy

Ivy tower, Van Flein, Tea-bagger party scene
Party of “No”, Tim Pawlenty, Let’s watch Glenn Beck cry

These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it

Vitter’s fallin’, Ginny Foxx, Boehner and Inhofe
Mitch McConnell, small umbrella, Talking the talk

Spin Zone, Rent to own, Straight martini, Bank loan
Russian view and Pastor Haggard’s flock

Sex crimes, Grassley, John McCain is “Mavericky”
Lining pockets, health care plan, Giuliani, Limbaugh Land

Barrasso, Fake protest, Tom “The Hammer”, Chambliss
Senate race, Lack of grace, and Melvin Martinez

These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it

Loaded Glock, SarahPAC, Sam Alito, Johnny Mack
Jindal, Right to die, Tripp’s father is Levi

Pentagon, Border wall, We must deport them all
Bed-wetters, genocide, No assisted suicide

Bush’s folly, Torture, Dick Cheney, Blackwater
Hate groups, Castro, John Ensign and his ‘ho

First Dude, Hannity, Mann Coulter and O’Reilly
Scooter Libby, Karl Rove, Sarah Palin’s “Sixpack Joes”

These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it

Kay Bailey, Muslims, K Street is full of bums
Villains, Pearlman, Iraqi Invasion

Health reform hysteria, Sarah Palin mania
Shameless G-Men, War in Afghanistan

Ron Paul, Airport sex, They don’t want no litmus test
Kneel and pray, Always “nay”, Can’t get married if you’re gay

These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it

Birth control, Lives of sin, They like folks that have white skin
Buckshot, Dow stock, Loud mouthed chicken-hawks
Takin’ Bacon, Palestine, Palin is no friend of mine
Now they have nukes in Iran, Couldn’t stop the Taliban

Makin’ fortunes, Soldiers die, Did we mention Glenn Beck cried?
Foreign debts, Homeless vets, Exposed by three jets
We voted them out the door, Now they’re just a mouse that roars
Spider holes and unjust wars, I can’t take them anymore.

These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it
(repeat chorus to fade)

Sunday Mid-Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 37

Just a few noteworthy news satellites that have been careening around the blogosphere this week…

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Why Am I Not Surprised” features Slick-Dick Cheney’s pal the Halliburton corporation. the company has become the object of several controversies involving the 2003 Iraq War and the company’s ties to Former U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney. Cheney retired from the company during the 2000 U.S. presidential election campaign with a severance package worth $36 million. As of 2004, he had received $398,548 in deferred compensation from Halliburton while Vice President. Cheney was chairman and CEO of Halliburton Company from 1995 to 2000 and has received stock options from Halliburton. The company has a long history of shoddy workmanship and of defrauding the US Government (and consequently, US taxpayers) by means of repeated and excessive overcharges regarding government contracts. Well, now it has been revealed that Halliburton is partially responsible for the recent catastrophic Gulf Coast oil rig explosion and spill. Halliburton provided well cementing services on the rig and now it looks as if flaws in that process led to the massive failure of the well’s structural integrity. Anyone surprised?

THIS JUST IN: We all understand the nexus between the State of Alaska and the oil industry, but enough is enough already. This week Alaska’s Republican Senator Lisa Murkowski objected to a voice vote request by Sen. Robert Menendez (D-N.J.) on the bill, which would have spiked the maximum liability for oil companies after an oil spill from $75 million to $10 billion. The legislation has significant support from Democrats, and the White House has indicated it backs an increase in liability caps. Republicans are on the side of the oil companies, not the American people.

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “WTF Took You So Long” features former First Stepford Wife, Laura Bush who admitted on Larry King Live that she is pro-choice and in favor of gay marriage and has been so forever. Should she perhaps have publicly defended her positions at some point while her brain-dead husband of a President was forever advocating legislation in opposition to those beliefs? Please watch the clip…

Then again, Laura Bush is now hawking a book and as we know from Sarah Palin, nothing sells like shock and controversy.

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “Conservatives Caught With Their Pants Down” features Longtime Religious Right leader Rev. Dr. George Rekers. He has been embroiled in a gay sex scandal for the past two weeks, and has now resigned from the board of directors of NARTH (National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality.) For those of you not in the know, it was revealed that Rekers hired a male prostitute to travel with him to Europe. As Queen would say, “another one bites the dust”.

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Lies And The Lying Liars Who Tell Them” features Ergun Caner, the President of Liberty University’s (yes, Jerry Falwell’s Liberty University) seminary. Talk To Action reports that “Caner has made a name for himself by highlighting his unusual life story: He says he was born into a stridently Muslim family in Turkey, where he learned to hate America and Christians. As Caner tells it, he flirted with jihad before undergoing a life-changing conversion to fundamentalist Christianity. He then persuaded most of his family to convert as well, and they now spread the gospel.” A compelling story but untrue. “Despite his claims about having lived in Turkey, it now appears that Caner was born in Sweden and moved to Ohio when he was 4 years old. His father was a Muslim, but his mother was Lutheran. The couple divorced, and Caner’s mother retained custody. He became an evangelical Christian as a teen; it’s unlike he was ever recruited by jihadists.” Ahhh, the rarefied air of Liberty University!

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “Daddy, Please Make The Crazy Lady Stop Talking!” features Minnesota’s Republican US Senator, Michele Bachmann. During a Tuesday night webcast with Ensuring Liberty, a Tea Party PAC, Rep. Michele Bachmann likened the financial reform bill that is being debated in Congress to Mussolini’s Fascist Italy. She said,

Let’s remember really what this is. This has a lot in common with Italy in the 1930s and they way Italy dealt with economics,” she said. “It still continues private ownership of business but government is in control.” She continued, “So government control of the private business, while it’s private ownership, that’s still at the end of the day the federal government virtually having a say over private business. We lose freedoms; we lose economic competitiveness.

OK Michele, now take your medicine and go back to sleep for awhile.

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Let’s Blame God” features Rick Perry, the Republican Governor of Texas. Last week the secessionist and Sarah Palin fanboy said the massive oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico should not be lamed on the oil industry, calling such spills “acts of God that cannot be prevented.” Gee, who knew that God created that faulty rig.

THIS JUST IN: It wouldn’t be a weekly wrap-up without our favorite wingnut, now would it? So, this week’s edition of  “Tea (Party) For Two and Two For Tea (Party)” features Sarah Palin, the ex-quitting Governor of Alaska and Jan Brewer, the present Governor of Arizona. The two members of the G.O.P. “braintrust” appeared together yesterday in Phoenix to denounce President Obama’s  criticism of Arizona’s new racist immigrant law. The law requires immigrants in Arizona to carry their registration documents at all times and allows police to question individuals’ immigration status in the process of enforcing any other law or ordinance. Problem is, even legal “brown” skinned citizens and immigrants are likely to be “asked for their papers” even though they are not required to carry them. If they do not have those “papers” with them, they are subject to detainment and arrest. As president Obama said,

You can imagine if you are an Hispanic American in Arizona, your great grandparents may have been there before Arizona was even a state, but now suddenly if you don’t have your papers, and you took your kid out to get ice cream, you’re gonna be harassed. That’s something that could potentially happen. That’s not the right way to go.

Like the nativist “Know Nothings” of the 1840’s and 1850’s however, Palin and Brewer have deceived themselves into believing the “us” versus “them” scenario is the only solution to immigration problems. Indeed, in defending the concept of “presenting papers”, the snow-white Palin said, “I think for most American people the reaction to that would be, ‘Why aren’t (police) already doing that?'” What would she say if native Alaskans treated the Idaho transplant similarly? Keep up the good work on that Arizona products and travel boycott!!!

Today’s song parody takes a rapid-fire look at Republicans past, present and future. Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.

We Didn’t Start The Fire song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eFTLKWw542g

WE DIDN’T START THE LYING

(sung to the Billy Joel song “We Didn’t Start The Fire”)

Ronald Reagan, Larry Craig, Mark Sanford, Tom Delay
Michelle Malkin, Michele Bachmann, “Goin’ with the flow”

Joe McCarthy, Richard Nixon, Howard Baker, lack of vision
Spreading Fear, Acting queer, and ole Sixpack Joe

No icebergs, H-Bomb, “Pay for play”, “Hockey Mom”
Landrieu, Hamid Karzai, and that Michael Savage guy

Ivy tower, Van Flein, Tea-bagger party scene
Party of “No”, Tim Pawlenty, Let’s watch Glenn Beck cry

These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it

Vitter’s fallin’, Ginny Foxx, Boehner and Inhofe
Mitch McConnell, small umbrella, Talking the talk

Spin Zone, Rent to own, Straight martini, Bank loan
Russian view and Pastor Haggard’s flock

Sex crimes, Grassley, John McCain is “Mavericky”
Lining pockets, health care plan, Giuliani, Limbaugh Land

Barrasso, Fake protest, Tom “The Hammer”, Chambliss
Senate race, Lack of grace, and Melvin Martinez

These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it

Loaded Glock, SarahPAC, Sam Alito, Johnny Mack
Jindal, Right to die, Tripp’s father is Levi

Pentagon, Border wall, We must deport them all
Bed-wetters, genocide, No assisted suicide

Bush’s folly, Torture, Dick Cheney, Blackwater
Hate groups, Castro, John Ensign and his ‘ho

First Dude, Hannity, Mann Coulter and O’Reilly
Scooter Libby, Karl Rove, Sarah Palin’s “Sixpack Joes”

These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it

Kay Bailey, Muslims, K Street is full of bums
Villains, Pearlman, Iraqi Invasion

Health reform hysteria, Sarah Palin mania
Shameless G-Men, War in Afghanistan

Ron Paul, Airport sex, They don’t want no litmus test
Kneel and pray, Always “nay”, Can’t get married if you’re gay

These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it

Birth control, Lives of sin, They like folks that have white skin
Buckshot, Dow stock, Loud mouthed chicken-hawks
Takin’ Bacon, Palestine, Palin is no friend of mine
Now they have nukes in Iran, Couldn’t stop the Taliban

Makin’ fortunes, Soldiers die, Did we mention Glenn Beck cried?
Foreign debts, Homeless vets, Exposed by three jets
We voted them out the door, Now they’re just a mouse that roars
Spider holes and unjust wars, I can’t take them anymore.

These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it
(repeat chorus to fade)