Monthly Archives: August 2011

Polls Promise Palin Pummeling

Sarah Palin has been saying that she will publicly announce her decision as to whether or not she will seek the U.S. Presidency by the end of September. Fortunately for us, we will not have to wait that long. The American people have pre-empted Palin and made the decision for her. Sarah Palin is being told loudly and clearly not to run for the nation’s highest office.

On Monday we learned that a whopping 90% of Republicans will not support a Sarah Palin bid for the Presidency. Yes, you read that correctly, 90% of Republicans will not support her. The most recent CNN poll released on that day reveals this fact. Most surprising however, is that there are 10% of Republicans who would support the former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska. What are they smoking?

This bad news for Caribou Barbie follows upon the most recent Pew Research Center Poll released August 25th reveals that 41% of Republicans and Republican-leaning voters say there is “no chance” they would vote for Sarah Palin in a Presidential race. That is the second highest rejection rate of any Republican candidate, exceeded only by Newt Gingrich. That poll also revealed that 67% of all voters would not consider Sarah Palin for President.

Additionally, the most recent Gallup Survey released August 24th reveals that in a race that includes all the current candidates, plus Palin and Rudy Giuliani, the former Alaska governor would draw only 11 percent of the vote.

Finally, the most recent Public Policy Polling survey released August 23rd and  conducted in Iowa (where Palin has been spending a lot of time lately) reveals that she is in a lowly 5th place among GOP candidates.

Regardless of what Sarah Palin announces in September, it is now evident that only comedians, progressive bloggers and president Barack Obama want her to seek the Presidency.

In honor of the troops, please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the song parody.

“Bad Moon Rising” song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZeZm7KQJT1o

BAD NEWS ARISING

(sung to the Creedence Clearwater Revival song “Bad Moon Rising”)

Palin sees bad news arising
She sees trouble on the way
She will stick to her lyin’
Bad polls are on their way

Sarah’s in a plight
And it’s bound to cause her strife
There’s some bad news on the rise

Palin’s secrets will be showin’
We know her end is coming soon
Soon all of us will be knowin’
Palin is a disgrace and ruined

Sarah’s in a plight
And it’s bound to cause her strife
There’s some bad news on the rise
Alright!

(email scrubbing break)

We will be thrilled to forget her
Palin will have tears in her eyes
Looks like she’s in for nasty weather
She’ll be exposed by all her lies

Well, Sarah’s in a plight
And it’s bound to cause her strife
There’s some bad news on the rise

Sarah’s in a plight
And it’s bound to cause her strife

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Tea Party Is Being Discarded In The Waste Heap of History

As time marches on, the Tea Party becomes more and more unpopular. No longer does a Tea Party rally garner large crowds. Both of the movement’s national conventions have been cancelled this year as the result of a lack of advance ticket sales. Furthermore, with every newly released poll, we learn that Americans have an increasingly negative view of the faux grass-roots movement. In short, the Tea Party is being pushed away by independent voters.

The most recent AP/GfK Poll released August 23rd reveals a sharp increase in the Tea Party’s “unfavorable” rating. Forty-six percent (46%) said they have a negative view of the movement while only 28% say they view it “favorably”. By the way, the increase by 10 points in the “unfavorable” category is all in the “very unfavorable” sub-category. The successive polls indicate the “unfavorable” views have been increasing since Tea Party-endorsed Republicans were elected to Congress in November 2010. Indeed, the sharpest declines have come since the Tea Baggers clamored for the United States to default on its obligations during the debt ceiling debate. In contrast, prior to the Tea Baggers actually having been elected to Congress back in June 2010, the movement’s “favorable” rating was 33% with its “unfavorable” rating being only 30%.

Mainstream Americans have caught on to the fact that Tea Partiers are the most confused and misinformed group of people since the “birthers”. Oh wait a second, they were the “birthers”. In any event, let’s just take a look at their positions on some of the issues of the day. All through 2010 and prior to the passage of the new health care law, they ran around shouting and carrying misspelled signs with the message “Leave My Medicare Alone” and “Keep Govt. Out Of My Medicare”. Nevermind the fact that the health care law had nothing to do with Medicare or that the program is 100% government run. They then proceeded to support a number of Tea Party candidates in the mid-term elections who, once elected, immediately began trying to pass laws which would eliminate the Medicare program.

The Tea Partiers are also known for protesting higher taxes. The problem is, taxes are at their lowest level in over 60 years. Furthermore, President Obama has not not increased one single tax since being elected. Instead, he has actually cut taxes for 95% of working/ middle class Americans by means of his 2010 payroll tax decrease. They should be on their knees thanking President Obama and opposing the elected Tea Party members who are presently refusing to extend those tax cuts.

Is it any wonder that the average American has little use for the Tea Party and its colonial-costumed members? Ah, Tea Party we hardly knew ye!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Garden Party song link:  http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x89fev_ricky-nelson-garden-party_music

TEA BAG PARTY

(sung to the Ricky Nelson song “Garden Party”)

I went to a Tea Bag party hoping to make some brand new friends
But they became my enemies, those right wing racist men
When I got to the Tea Bag party, they all looked the same
That really surprised me, and no one had a brain

But its all right now, I learned my lesson well
You see, ya can’t please everyone, so ya got to please yourself

Crazies there from miles around, mostly with white hair
Locals brought their shotguns, there was hatred in the air
‘n’ over in the corner, not to my surprise
Sarah Palin sportin’ thigh-high boots while she winked her eyes.

But its all right now, I learned my lesson well
You see, ya can’t please everyone, so they can go to hell

Lot-in-dah-dah-dah, lot-in-dah-dah-dah

Told them they were so wrong, Glenn Beck is insane
Drill Baby, Drill’s stupid,  and Palin is to blame
I said Rand Paul is crazy too, best not drink his tea
Then I told them things about Michele Bachmann they would not believe

But its all right now, I learned my lesson well
You see, ya can’t please everyone, so they can go to hell

Lot-dah-dah-dah (lot-dah-dah-dah)
Lot-in-dah-dah-dah

Someone opened up a closet door and donned a white pointy hood
Punching his railroad ticket to Hell and just the way he should
If you’re goin’ to a Tea Bag party, I wish you a lotta luck
Bring a misspelled sign, use racist slang and drive a pick-up truck

But its all right now, I learned my lesson well
You see, ya can’t please everyone, so ya got to please yourself

Lot-dah-dah-dah (lot-dah-dah-dah)
Lot-in-dah-dah-dah

But its all right now, I learned my lesson well
You see, ya can’t please everyone, so ya got to please yourself

Tea Party Express Embarks On 5th Tragical Misery Tour

Beware!!!

A busload of crazy may be coming to a town near you in the next few weeks. That’s right folks, the Tea Party Express has kicked-off a nationwide bus tour ala Sarah Palin’s faux family vacation. Its first stop was Napa, California and it will make 29 more stops before concluding on September 10th in Tampa, Florida just in time for the CNN/Tea Party Express GOP presidential debate.

The Tea Party Express likes to bill itself as a grassroots movement of like minded conservatives. That is a fallacy. The organization is not in any way a grassroots movement, unless you prefer your grass to be rooted in the gleaming offices of a well established political consulting firm which also just happens to siphon off most of the Tea Party group’s donations. You see, the Tea Party Express is a tool created by the GOP political consulting firm known as Russo, Marsh and Rogers. According to Federal Election Commission filings, more than 75% of the money spent by the Tea Party Express, about $1 million out of $1.3 million spent, went to Russo, Marsh or King Media Group, which has close ties to Russo. How’s that for capitalism at work? The misinformed Tea Baggers have apparently been duped once again into supporting something that is contrary to their stated intentions.

At their first stop in Napa on Saturday, the wacky Tea Partiers (many dressed-up like George Washington with tea bags hanging from their tri-corner hats and 1 guy appropriately wearing a dunce cap) were met by several dozen protesters. CNN reports that the protesters were loudly chanting “Hey ho, hey ho, the Tea Party has got to go!” and “Tax the rich!”. One protest sign read, “The Tea Party- Trashing America and the Economy.” There was also a giant inflated rat peering over the fence at the Tea Baggers.

The next stop was Elko, Nevada but it was evident that the tour was already losing steam. The Elko Daily Free Press reported that only about 75 supporters cared enough to show up. That was probably the result of Nevadans hoping to avoid another embarrassing singing performance by former losing Tea Party candidate Sharron Angle. Angle, you may recall, was a darling of Sarah Palin who ran for a Nevada U.S. Senate seat and lost last year. She advocated the complete privatization of Medicare and Social Security and her job creation plan was summed up as follows: “As your U.S. Senator, I’m not in the business of creating jobs”. Like most self-interested Tea-Baggers, Angle also attempted to hawk her book on her victims, oops, I meant audience. Watch video of Angle singing as well as the other disturbing clips which the San Francisco Chronicle has posted:  http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/blogs/nov05election/detail?entry_id=96305

Yikes!

But really, what did we expect from the Tea Baggers? They are the most confused and misinformed group of people since the “birthers”. Oh wait a second, they were the “birthers”. In any event, let’s just take a look at their positions on some of the issues of the day. All through 2010 and prior to the passage of the new health care law, they ran around shouting and carrying misspelled signs with the message “Leave My Medicare Alone” and “Keep Govt. Out Of My Medicare”. Nevermind the fact that the health care law had nothing to do with Medicare or that the program is 100% government run. They then proceeded to support a number of Tea Party candidates in the mid-term elections who, once elected, immediately began trying to pass laws which would eliminate the Medicare program.

The Tea Partiers are also known for protesting higher taxes. The problem is, taxes are at their lowest level in over 60 years. Furthermore, President Obama has not not increased one single tax since being elected. Instead, he has actually cut taxes for 95% of working/ middle class Americans by means of his 2010 payroll tax decrease. They should be on their knees thanking President Obama and opposing the elected Tea Party members who are presently refusing to extend those tax cuts.

Anyway, over the next few weeks we are guaranteed a busload of laughs every time the Tea Party Express bus tour makes a stop.

All Aboard! Next stop, Cheyenne, WY followed by Lincoln and Omaha, NE and then Sioux City and Des Moines, IA.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

It’s My Party song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mIsnIt1p978

IT’S OUR TEA PARTY

(sung to the Lesley Gore song “It’s My Party”)

It’s our tea party, and we’ll cry if we want to
Lie if we want to, die if we want to
You would cry too if you were in our zoo

Nobody knows just what planet we’re from
We have all lost our minds
But we will follow the plan
And misspell all of our signs

It’s our tea party, and we’ll cry if we want to
Lie if we want to, die if we want to
You would cry too if you looked like we do

Playin’ the race card because we’re all white
Swastikas define our style
When Glenn Beck’s eyes get teary
That just makes all of us smile

It’s our tea party, and we’ll cry if we want to
Lie if we want to, die if we want to
You would cry too if you were in our zoo

(misspelled sign making break)

Our Sarah Palin behaves just like a whore
She’s a mean ding-a-ling
She tells us nothing but lies
We believe everything

It’s our tea party, and we’ll cry if we want to
Lie if we want to, die if we want to
You would cry too if you looked like we do

Oh, It’s our tea party, and we’ll cry if we want to
Lie if we want to, die if we want to
You would cry too if you were in our zoo

Oh, It’s our tea party, and we’ll cry if we want to
Lie if we want to, die if we want to…

Lynnrockets Is Riding The Storm Out

Our beach early this morning.

Unfortunately there will be no substantive post today. As most of you Rocketeers know, we live on an island off the coast of Boston. Thankfully Hurricane Irene is predicted to be downgraded to a tropical storm. Nonetheless, wind is always a problem here and it will obviously become much more of a problem during this event. Also, the track of the storm has slowed down such that we are expecting 5 to 6 inches of rain and the almost always resultant flooding. Consequently, we will be busy today weatherproofing and making sure that our pumps are operational.

Because of our locale we often lose power and sometimes lose access to civilization. Provision-wise however, we seem fine. We have a few gas grills and plenty of Jameson’s. To be honest, it is sometimes even a little fun to breakout the candles and lanterns and the Scrabble game to pass time when we are not gazing at the raging storm surf. Sometimes these storms serve to remind of us of what it was like to live in New England back in the whaling days. A bit scary yet a lot of fun.

Talk to you soon.

In the meantime, please enjoy these stormy weather-related tunes:

Palin Plummetts In Polls (Again!!!)

Here we go again. The people have spoken and they do not like Sarah Palin. Why then does Palin continue to play cat and mouse with the idea of running for the Presidency? Better yet, why does the Media and public (including Lynnrockets) pay any attention to this inconsequential person?

CNN reports that the most recent Pew Research Center Poll released August 25th reveals that 41% of Republicans and Republican-leaning voters say there is “no chance” they would vote for Sarah Palin in a presidential race. That is the second highest rejection rate of any Republican candidate, exceeded only by Newt Gingrich.

Additionally, the most recent Gallup Survey released August 24th reveals that in a race that includes all the current candidates, plus Palin and Rudy Giuliani, the former Alaska governor would draw only 11 percent of the vote.

Finally, the most recent Public Policy Polling survey released August 23rd and  conducted in Iowa (where Palin has been spending a lot of time lately) reveals that she is in a lowly 5th place among GOP candidates.

These poll results emerged smack-dab in the midst of the war of words between Karl Rove and Palin’s political action committee SarahPAC, regarding Palin’s dithering over her decision to enter the race. The polls all show that it does not matter if the former ex-quitting half-term Alaska Gov. enters the race. Even if she does, she is doomed to defeat.

So, as for the two questions posited in our first paragraph, what can we deduce? Regarding the question as to why Palin continues to remain indecisive as to her presidential plans, it seems obvious that she is simply maintaining the monetary value of the “Palin brand” for as long as possible. Since the “Palin thing” was unfortunately thrust into the American spotlight by John McCain in 2008, she has profited immensely. If not for her status as the Vice Presidential candidate and the subsequent hilariously public display of her political ignorance and the shenanigans of her tabloid-styled family, she would have remained a virtually unknown politician with little to no marketing potential. Instead, she has made so much money form her new-found celebrity status in the form of her Fox News job, her reality television series and her two ghost-written books, that she was able to simply up-and-quit her job as Governor of Alaska. Palin knows that as soon as she announces that she will not run for the nation’s highest office, her marketability and the associated money will vanish. Consequently, it behooves her to tease the public for as long as she possibly can.

As for why the media and public continue to pay attention to a potential candidate that has no chance of winning, the answer is obvious. Sarah Palin is so absurd that she is entertaining. The media sells entertainment and the public buys it. People with no interest whatsoever in politics continue to await news of the latest Palin-related spectacle. Will she publicly insult someone (David Letterman)? Will she make another astoundingly stupid comment (Paul Revere was warning the British by ringing bells and firing shots)? Will another of her abstinence-only educated children conceive a child out of wedlock (so far we have Bristol and Track)? Will her husband continue to solicit massages from women charged with prostitution (Shailey Tripp)? The possibilities seem limitless and so long as there is entertainment value, the media and public will continue to pay attention.

So there you have it. Sarah Palin is unelectable. Sarah Palin knows this and will continue to tease the public with a decision regarding her candidacy as long as possible so as to keep the money-cow alive. The media and public will continue to be interested in Palin so long as she remains relevant and eccentric.

OK, you Rocketeers, you know what this means…

In honor of the troops, please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the song parody.

Rawhide song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ldkxqiosXYY

POLL-SLIDE

(sung to the TV theme of, “Rawhide”)

Fallin’ Fallin’ Fallin’
Fallin’ Fallin’ Fallin’
Fallin’ Fallin’ Fallin’
Fallin’ Fallin’ Fallin’
Poll Slide

Keep movin’, movin’, movin’
People disapprovin’
Sarah’s not improvin’, Poll-Slide!
She cannot understand ‘em,
She hopes results are random,
Soon she’ll be in a double-wide.
There’s no way of definin’
Just why the polls declinin’, declinin’ like a massive
Landslide.

Headin’ down, movin’ fast,
Losin’ ground, ship her out,
Headin’ down, movin’ fast
Poll-Slide!
Kick her out,  shoot her down,
Send her home, push her out,
Kick her butt, fallin’ fast
Poll-Slide!

Fallin’ Fallin’ Fallin’
Her eyeballs are ballin’
How come no-one’s callin’?
Poll-Slide!
It looks like stormy weather
And she’s light like a feather
She’ll be swept under by the tide.
She’ll be unemployed soon,
A wolf killin’ buffoon,
And all this resultin’ from her lies

Headin’ down, movin’ fast,
Losin’ ground, ship her out,
Headin’ down, movin’ fast
Poll-Slide!
Kick her out,  shoot her down,
Send her home, push her out,
Kick her butt, fallin’ fast
Poll-Slide!

Fallin’ Fallin’ Fallin’
Fallin’ Fallin’ Fallin’
Fallin’ Fallin’ Fallin’
Fallin’ Fallin’ Fallin’
Poll Slide

Karl “Turd Blossom” Rove Blasts Sarah “Caribou Barbie” Palin

As we have said so many times in the past, is there anything more delightful than watching Republicans eat their young?

Today we have Round Three of Karl Rove vs. Sarah Palin. This battle started last weekend when Rove appeared on “Fox News Sunday”,  a talking head program on the Republican Propaganda Network and said that he believed that Palin’s upcoming trip to Iowa and recent web video are evidence she is gearing up for a run for the GOP nomination for President. He also said,

“I’m not much of a gambler, but I’d put a little more money that she gets in than if she doesn’t. You can only tease so many times in the political process, and I think she is getting to the end of that.”

Palin’s political action committee SarahPAC, did not take kindly to anyone speculating anything about their queen. So, on Monday the PAC came out of their corner and launched an assault against Karl Rove in Round Two of the bout. The SarahPAC website posted a thinly veiled attack against Rove which stated as follows:

“These are the same tired establishment political games that fuel the 24 hour news cycle and that all Americans will hopefully reject in 2012, and this is more of the ‘politics-as-usual’ that Sarah Palin has fought against throughout her career.”

Not to be bullied, Rove came out punching in Round Three. On Wednesday, Rove once again appeared on the Fox News GOP Cheerleading Network and this time he characterized Palin as a Diva with “thin skin”. More specifically, he said,

“It is a sign of enormous thin skin if we speculate about her, she gets upset, and I suspect if we didn’t speculate about her, she’d be upset and trying to find a way to get us to speculate about her.”

CNN reports that Karl Rove went on to say that if Palin is unhappy with the speculation she should,

“simply say ‘I’m not running’. Instead, every time she pops up in the public eye – like she did on CNN at the Iowa State Fair a number of days ago – she said ‘I haven’t made a decision’.”

We believe Karl Rove has a valid point. Will Sarah Palin ever stop dithering and make a decision about her presidential plans? Here’s hoping she announces her candidacy so that we will have one more Republican crackpot to laugh at during the upcoming election season. Can you imagine the environment of wackiness that would envelope primary debates including Michele “Migraines” Bachmann, Ron “The Gold Is Gone” Paul, Mitt “Flip-Flop” Romney, Rick “Treason” Perry and Sarah “I Quit” Palin?

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Kung Fu Fighting song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jhUkGIsKvn0

KUNG FU FIGHTING (Version III)

(sung to the Carl Douglas song “Kung Fu Fighting”)

Oh – oh – oh – oh…

Sarah Palin was kung fu fighting
Her words were crude and biting
In fact she is a little bit frightening
And she has the best of timing

One day funky Turd Blossom put Sarah Palin down
He was chopping her up and he was talking her down
His words gave Sarah a start and then she tore Karl Rove apart
She was shooting from the hip; when she gave Karl Rove some lip

Karl and Sarah were kung fu fighting
Their words were tear-inciting
We wish they had put them in writing
Boy, they had the best of timing

She said, “knuckle dragging Rove, you better bite your tongue”
Karl said “Why don’t you get lost, you best be gone”
She said, “this crib-note on my hand says I’m worth one-hundred grand”
Karl said, “when you see my Fox clip, you will just have to bite your lip”

Rove and Sarah were kung fu fighting
Their words were crude and biting
We wish they had put them in writing
Boy, they had the worst of timing

Oh – oh – oh – oh…

Karl and Sarah were kung fu fighting
Their words were crude and biting
We wish they had put them in writing
Boy, they had the best of timing

Oh – oh – oh – oh…
Keep on fighting
Those cats are frightening

Oh – oh – oh – oh…(to fade)

Conservative Pundits Assail GOP Candidates (and Levi Shuffles)

The BusinessInsider.com has posted a nice little summary of what conservative pundits and the Republican intelligentsia (for what that is worth) think of the current cast of characters vying for the 2012 GOP Presidential nomination. It is not pretty.

Washington Post columnist Charles Krauthammer and Weekly Standard editor William Kristol are both looking for another candidate to enter the race because they believe that none of the current crop including Newt Gingrich, Michele Bachmann, Rick Perry or Mitt Romney stand a chance of defeating Barack Obama. Krauthammer and Kristol waned either Indiana Gov. Mitch Daniels or Wisconsin Rep. Paul Ryan to run. However, each of those men has publicly stated that they do not intend to seek the nomination. They join Florida Gov. Jeb Bush and New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie as other favorites of the conservative elite who have decided to remain on the sidelines.

Ramesh Ponnuru, the senior editor of the National Review says, “It becomes a Perry vs. Romney race. A lot of conservatives are going to find that unsatisfactory. You’ll probably have more people staying neutral than ever.”

But Politico‘s Jonathan Martin and Ben Smith have put it best. They frankly state that “To many conservative elites, Rick Perry is a dope, Michele Bachmann is a joke, and Mitt Romney is a fraud.”

Well said gentlemen. Well said.

Another political bombshell was dropped this week in Alaska. No, Sarah Palin has not stopped her spotlight-seeking game of dithering over her own intentions to seek the Presidency. But someone very closely tied to her has made an announcement about his political plans. Levi Johnston, the father of Palin’s grandson as well as her once and future son-in-law, has proclaimed that he is ending his candidacy for Mayor of Wasilla, Alaska. You could say that the former two-time fiance and virginity thief of daughter Bristol Palin is “pulling out” for the first time. His manager Tank Jones told Radar Online,
“He isn’t running. Levi doesn’t want the office of the Mayor to be a joke so he’s not going to do it now. He’s not going to run right now because there are a lot of issues he would need to study up on, and he thinks that this isn’t the right time for him. He is focusing on his book that is coming out September 20.”
If you simply cannot wait that long for Levi’s book and need an immediate Johnston fix, simply buy this month’s issue of Playboy. No, Levi has not posed nude once again like Massachusetts’ Republican Sen. Scott Brown. This time it is his sister Mercede Johnston that has elected to bare her soul amongst other things in the adult periodical.

What in the wide, wide world of politics will we be exposed to next?

We just love it when we get to blow off the dust and bring out one of our old song parody chestnuts once again.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Lido Shuffle song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8s8l75Oxf1U&feature=related

LEVI SHUFFLE

(sung to the Boz Scaggs song “Lido Shuffle”)

Levi missed the vote
That day he caught some flack
Sarah was so damned pissed
But she was just a hack

At a Juneau bar
Drinkin’ from a jar, he heard a pop
She had enough
Good Ol’ Sarah fired a shot

He ran downtown, Sarah had an angry frown, an a-hole
He said, “One more jab oughta get her”
“Since she quit, things are better”
“Now hit the road !”

Levi, Whoa oh, oh, oh
Was Bristol’s honey, now he’s her foe
Levi’s fixin’ to make some dough

Levi, Whoa oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
He took one more stab at poor Sarah
“What’s with all that mascara?”
Now she’ll hit the road

Levi’s a dumb one
Havin’ great big fun rockin’ Palin’s boat
Dishin’ out all those low blows
For her, he will not vote

Palin’s flying ‘neath the tree-line
Levi in her sight line, goin’ for broke
Sayin’ “One good shot oughta do it”
“Take this bullet and chew it”
“I’ll just lock and load!”

Levi, Whoa oh, oh, oh
He’s for the money, he’s for the show
He’s Bristol Palin’s former beau

Levi, Whoa oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Palin should just forget it
But she just doesn’t get it
One mean horny toad!

Levi, Whoa oh, oh, oh
He’s for the money, he’s for the show
He’s Bristol Palin’s former beau
Levi, Whoa oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

Open Thread Tuesday

Hello Rocketeers. I am sorry for the absence of a substantive post today but sometimes my other life gets a little hectic.

I am supposed to be on vacation this week but it is turning into more of a vacation of chores. Today, I must attend a wake, return about a million bottles and cans, drop off a boatload of clothing at St. Vincent de Paul, do yard-work and clean out some personal belongings from another property of mine and chair a meeting of the board of directors for a non-profit organization here in Boston. In short, I have a little too much on my plate today.

Lynnrockets’ Blast-Off will however, return to its regularly scheduled programming tomorrow.

I hope.

In the meantime, please enjoy the soothing sights and sounds of Boston’s very own Lou Miami and the Kozmetix:

Karl “Turd Blossom” Rove Believes Palin Will Run

Turd Blossom and Caribou Barbie

The former top political adviser (for whatever that is worth) to President George W. Bush believes that Sarah Palin will soon announce that she is running for president. Karl Rove, more commonly known as Turd Blossom, is now the leader of a conservative political action committee known as American Crossroads and he feels that Palin’s upcoming trip to Iowa and recent web video are evidence she is gearing up for a run.

Rove appeared on “Fox News Sunday”,  a talking head program on the Republican Propaganda Network and said,

“I’m not much of a gambler, but I’d put a little more money that she gets in than if she doesn’t. You can only tease so many times in the political process, and I think she is getting to the end of that.”

Palin of course has been incapable of making a decision as to whether she should join the “Koch Bros., Crackpots and Unknowns Presidential Circus” for at least the last four years. The former ex-quitting half-term Gov. of Alaska has however, recently paraded her faux family vacation shrink-wrapped luxury dream-liner through many early primary states and she attended the Iowa State Fair on the same weekend as the Ames Straw Poll. She has also authorized the creation and release of “The Undefeated”, an abysmal failure of a theatrical release about her rise to political incompetence. Most recently, her political action committee SarahPAC even released a video of her Iowa appearances and she plans to return to Iowa on September 3rd. Still, she has refused to answer questions about her presidential plans as stubbornly as she refused to answer any and all questions during debates and televised interviews in 2008 while running for Vice President.

Who knows what kind of faith can be placed in Karl Rove’s prediction, however? After all, he is the same guy who completely misinterpreted the big bank bailout and formation of the Tea Party as follows:

“Remember the Tea Party movement didn’t get started in September of 2008 when the bank bailout was passed. It really began on Feb. 19th, 2009 when a television commentator named Rick Santelli stood up and said what the hell are we doing bailing out people who couldn’t afford a mortgage by taking money from people like me who are prudent?”

In any event, here’s hoping that Sarah Palin does choose to rune for President. The nation could use a few more laughs.

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Born To Run song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9wgnTU31z7s

BORN TO RUN

(sung to the Bruce Springsteen song “Born To Run”)

In the day she sweats it out on the streets, she’s a runner-up beauty pageant queen
At night she tears her hair out in worry atop Todd’s snow-machine
Hate filled rages at the five and dime
High heeled, misdirected and sporting a sixties beehive, Whoa
Wasilla town hopes she never comes back
She’s a dumb quack, a political hack
Sarah speaketh with a forked tongue
But tramps like her, baby they were born to run
(yes she will run)

Sarah’s got thin skin but she’ll run again
She can’t find work on television
SarahPAC will cater to her whims
Their dedicated to her mission
Together they will dish out crap
She’ll run till she drops, maybe from a heart attack, Whoa
All her friends, she’ll continue to hire
‘cause baby she wants to be the next “Decider”
But her wagon has lost all its wheels
She behaves like a little child girl, a pitbull refusing to heel
(full of baloney)

(Twitter break)

She’s filled with malice right down to the bones buried in her backyard
She casts no reflection in brand new mirrors
Like a vampire caught off guard
Her unfeeling heart, rises cold and dark
A dominatrix with an iron fist
She’s gonna try to befriend thee in the deep dark night
With a wink and a blown kiss, Huhh

(Facebook break)

(one two three four…)

She’s got a bunch of Fox News zeroes that fuel her hopes and drive
Sarah Palin likes you if you are white and have no use for gay pride
Every Wednesday she will give an address
That will reveal all the madness in her soul, Whoa
Someday girl, we don’t know when, you’ll learn that you’re a disgrace
Something we already know, her career will be done
But till then just like puss, Sarah will return to run

Oh, Sarah just like puss, baby we hope that you run

Please believe me, all of us baby, sure hope that you will run

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 89

Sorry about the late post but these beach days are cutting into Lynnrockets’ productivity!

Just a few newsworthy items (and comments thereon) that have been making their way through the political universe this past week but may have escaped your attention. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful day!

BREAKING NEWS:  This week’s episode of “She Said What?” features Republican presidential candidate and Tea Party darling Michele Bachmann. She appeared on a christian radio program this week and said that American citizens are telling her that one of their major concerns is the rise of the Soviet Union! Apparently Bachmann is unaware that the Soviet Union collapsed and dissolved in 1991. How do you spell “C-R-A-Z-Y”?

THIS JUST IN:  It was nice to learn (although not much of a peep from the media) that the two final Wisconsin recall elections took place last Tuesday and both Democratic Party incumbents (Jim Holperin and Bob Wirch) won convincingly.

BREAKING NEWS:  The Daily Kos reports that brand new Republican Presidential candidate Rick Perry may face a little problem having to do with pornography. “Back in 1995, when his bouffant hairdo was barely all the rage, Rick Perry invested thousands of dollars into Movie Gallery, Inc, a porn distributor company. It was the largest distributor of porn movies, and was even opposed by the conservative American Family Association, the same organization that now claims to support Rick Perry after he showed up to host their prayer rally.” How is that for another example of “Republican Family Values”?

THIS JUST IN:  Speaking of Rick Perry, was anyone surprised to see that he was not so warmly welcomed in New Hampshire as he was in Iowa? The Boston Globe reports, “Hecklers carrying signs shouted from the sidewalk, “Stop attacking middle class families, Rick Perry,” as the smiling new presidential candidate shook hands and signed autographs. Perry, who declared his candidacy Saturday, was much more warmly received at visits today to Dover and Pembroke. For every admirer in Portsmouth who commended his work, there were several detractors armed with chiding questions about climate change, Social Security, or human evolution.”

BREAKING NEWS:  Republicans, Tea Baggers and conservatives of all ilk are taking  joy in criticizing President Obama’s vacation this week in Martha’s Vineyard, MA. They complain that he should be at the White House fixing the economy. These critics fail to mention however, that the Republican-led House of Representatives is on a MONTH long vacation instead of working on the economy. They also fail to mention that at the exact same time during his first term and while the nation was facing an unemployment rate of 9.5%, Ronald Reagan not only took a 25 day vacation, but his aides also stopped relaying news events to him so as not to disturb him. How is that for a monumental double-standard?

THIS JUST IN:  Speaking of the Tea Party, did any of you notice that data collected by The New York Times reveals that the Tea Party is “less popular than much maligned groups like ‘atheists’ and ‘Muslims'”?

BREAKING NEWS: It looks like freshman U.S. Senator Scott Brown (R-MA) will face a strong Democratic Party challenger in next year’s election. The Washington Post reports “Elizabeth Warren announced that she’s starting an exploratory committee for a potential U.S. Senate run in Massachusetts. The news doesn’t come as much of a surprise. The Harvard Law professor, who recently stepped down from the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau she originated, has been the subject of Senatorial speculation for months, if not longer.” The paper goes on to say, “Ironically, Warren has something Brown now doesn’t, at least to the same extent: Passion from her followers. Yes, Scott Brown may have been an early harbinger that the Tea Party movement was a force to be reckoned with, able to turn [Ted] Kennedy’s seat from blue to red in what may be the most progressive state in the county. But the Tea Party has soured on Brown since then, putting him on target lists and accusing him of throwing it under the bus for his critiques of budget cuts. Meanwhile, the fervor progressives feel for Warren is a rare thing in a Washington plagued with a 12 percent approval rating for Congress and a Democratic party that’s falling out of love with its president.” Looks like the clothing-challenged Brown may have his hands full. That is great news!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Scott Brown’s favorite birthday suit

Charlie Brown song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_UnPzp2lmNk

SCOTTIE BROWN

(sung to the Coasters song “Charlie Brown”)

Fe-fe, fi-fi, fo-fo, fum
He’s the senator that will bare his bum

Scottie Brown, Scottie Brown
He’s a clown, that nude Scott Brown
He likes to bare his bod
In those magazines
(That’s why everybody’s always pickin’ on me)

That’s him on his knees
I know that’s him
Yeah, from 7 come 11
Down in the Senate gym

Scottie Brown, Scottie Brown
He’s a clown, that nude Scott Brown
Craig thinks that he’s hot
He hopes to steal a peek
(Why’s Lynnrockets always pickin’ on me)

Who’s always nude at the roll call?
Who’s lurking in the men’s room stalls?
Who’s sporting his bat and balls?
Guess who? (who me?) yeah, you!

Who walks through the Senate dumb and slow?
Who calls Mitch McConnell, Daddy-O?

Scottie Brown, Scottie Brown
He’s going down, next time around
His votes can be bought
Just you wait and see
(Why’s everybody always pickin’ on me)

(musical interlude)

He is in the Party that says “No”
With his private parts swinging to and fro

Scottie Brown, Scottie Brown
He’s a clown, that nude Scott Brown
He’s showing a lot
His bum, his wee-wee
(Why’s Lynnrockets always pickin’ on me)