Tales From Cheney’s Darkside

Cheney Gun

Everybody remembers when Dick Cheney justified the torture of prisoners by claiming that sometimes it is necessary to venture over to the dark side. Well, this is the first in an ongoing series of articles about Dick Cheney’s “Dark Side”.

It seems like only yesterday, when on February 11, 2006, then Vice President Dick Cheney shot his 78 year old longtime friend and attorney, Harry Whittington in the face while hunting. We all remember that it seemed as if a full blown cover-up was in effect when we learned that the incident was not reported to the local authorities for hours and that even the dimwit George W. Bush was not notified immediately by Cheney’s cronies. The story got even better when the public began to hear stories that Cheney was drinking shortly before the hunt. Best of all, however, was when the victim, Whittingham, ended up apologizing to Cheney for “ruining his (i.e. Cheney’s) day“ or something to that effect.

Boy, we really do miss those good old days.

If any readers would like to suggest another episode from Cheney’s “Dark Side”, please post same on the comment board. Please, oh pretty please?

Janie’s Got A Gun song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=paBNkcaq2BA

CHENEY’S GOT A GUN

(sung to the Aerosmith song “Janie’s Got A Gun”)

Dumb, dumb, dumb, Dickie what have you done
Dumb, dumb, dumb, that’s the sound of your gun
Dumb, dumb, dumb, Dickie what have you done
Dumb, dumb, dumb, that’s the sound, that’s the sound…
Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah…
Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah…

Cheney’s got a gun
Cheney’s got a gun
He’s having lots of fun
While drinking out in the sun
What did the VP do?
Nobody’s saying, “boo”

They say while he was out huntin’,
He shot his buddy in the face
He should have seen it comin’
Cuz that Cheney had a gun
And the drinkin’ sure made him a waste

Cheney’s got a gun
Cheney’s got a gun
The cover-up’s begun
Those chicken-hawks are on the run
What did Dick Cheney do?
Will his best buddy sue?

He gun blasted Harry Whittington
And then told him to shut his mouth
Cheney told him not to say a peep
Or he would take the big sleep
That’s the way we handle things down South

Run away, run away from the blame
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

Run away, run away from the blame
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Run away, run away, run, run, run away

Cheney’s got a gun
Cheney’s got a gun
The cover-up’s begun
This guy would tell lies to a nun
What did W do?
That jerk didn’t have a clue

Bush had to let him off easy
Cuz he needs Dick to be his brain
Bush says we gotta go on TV
But Dick is such a sleaze
He’ll find someone else to pin the blame

Run away, run away from the blame
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

Run away, run away from the blame
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Run away, run away, run, run away

Cheney’s got a gun
Cheney’s got a gun
Cheney’s got a gun
Dick and George are on the run

Cheney’s got a gun
Shootin’ folks is so fun
Now Dick and George are on the run (Cheney, Cheney what’s your problem)
Cuz Cheney’s got a gun (Tell me it ain’t right)
Cheney’s got a gun ( Bush is Cheney’s little Robin)
The cover-up’s begun (Who will Cheney shoot tonight)
Chicken-hawks on the run
Cheney’s got a gun

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Posted on August 7, 2010, in Dick Cheney, Republican, Songs and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 7 Comments.

  1. How is it possible that he is still alive?

    • The Dark Side reference is very appropriate – with his ventricular assist device (external battery pack by day, plugged into a power source by night) he’s more like Darth Vader every day. The way the device works results in him having no pulse. Oh the irony.

  2. Liz and Dick’s excellent adventure

    It’s not as if the bad old days are exactly over!

    Not only has Dick been released from the hospital- the Grim Reaper is scared to death of him- but his lovely daughter Liz is still furiously plotting to start a war with Iran, along with the family neocon acquaintances. Good times!

  3. Maybe the attorney knew too much and was getting cold feet. Boom! That’ll teach, ya. The time that goes by, the more we see of the selected presidency of George W. Bush. Imagine what twenty years will do.

    But, of course, by then, Tricky Dicky would have had his twentieth heart attack. I’d like to see you write an article on how Cheney got deferment after deferment from military service.

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