Mitt(wit) Romney: The Least Interesting Man In The World

Unfortunately we will be called away today to pay our last respects to two longtime neighbors who have passed away. So as not not to leave you loyal Rocketeers without entertainment however, we have provided some Mitt(wit) Romney audio and video entertainment. Stay bored my friends!

He really did do it:

This is borrowed from Rocketeer BigPete:

A funny parody from the film “Inglorious Bastatrds”:

Getting caught in a lie:

Corporations are people too:

The Ballad of Mitt and Seamus:

Who would vote for this guy?:

See you all on Monday! Until then, be happy, healthy and safe!

Mid-Week News Bomb

Just a few newsworthy items (and comments thereon) that have been making their way through the political universe this past week but may have escaped your attention. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful day!

BREAKING NEWS: By now, everybody should be well aware that Republican Presidential Nominee Mitt Romney is an animal abuser. It is common knowledge that some years ago Mitt(wit) strapped the family dog to the roof of his car for a 12 hour drive to Canada during which the horrified pet was so frightened that it soiled itself to the extent that diarrhea was flowing down the car windows. When Mitt(wit) became aware of the pet’s distress did he he help the animal and bring it inside the vehicle? Heck no! He simply pulled over at a service station, washed the dog down with a hose and strapped him right back up there for the remainder of the ride. Not only was Romney’s action illegal, but it was also inhumane. Well, the dog’s of America are now united against Mitt. They have formed a public interest group known as “Dog’s Against Romney” which has its own Facebook page. Check it out here.

My Marley Is a proud card carrying member of "Dogs Against Romney"

THIS JUST IN:   Speaking of Facebook, CNN reports that Marine Sgt. Gary Stein who used his Facebook page to criticize President Barack Obama has been given an “other-than-honorable” discharge from the military branch. An other-than-honorable discharge is given to a Marine who commits a “serious offense” that significantly differs from conduct expected of a Marine. Among other comments posted to his Facebook page, Stein called President Obama a liar and suggested he would not follow some orders issued by the president. He also said the President is “the ‘Domestic Enemy’ our oath speaks about.” Good riddance to this creep, the American military does not need this type of undisciplined person endangering the lives of his fellow Marines.

BREAKING NEWS:  Former lame and unpopular rocker and current conservative radio personality Ted Nugent was in the news again this week. Last week the shock jock was questioned by the Secret Service for comments he made in a recent NRA speech such as, “If Barack Obama becomes the next President in November, again, I will either be dead or in jail by this time next year”, and “We need to ride into that battlefield and chop their heads off in November.” This week Nugent signed a plea agreement with federal prosecutors admitting he illegally shot and transported black bear in Southeast Alaska two years ago. As a result, Nugent will pay a $10,000 fine and create a 30- to 60-second public service announcement about responsible hunting to run on his show every other week. Nugent will be banned from hunting or fishing anywhere in Alaska and on any U.S. Forest Service land nationwide for one year. He will also be placed on two years’ probation.

THIS JUST IN:  This week’s episode of “Republicans With really bad Timing” features Republican gov. Rick Scott of Florida. The ultra conservative pol vetoed $1.5 million in funding for 30 rape crisis centers in the middle of Sexual Assault Awareness Month. State lawmakers had allotted the money to offset an increase in need and a lack of sufficient funding for victim services. This is just another example of the ongoing Republican War on Women.

BREAKING NEWS: Speaking of crazy Republican governors, Wisconsin’s soon-to-be recalled Scott Walker is losing GOP support within his own state. The AP reports that Rep. Robin Vos (R-Rochester), Wisconsin State Chairman of ALEC, appears to be abandoning his support of Scott Walker just as the John Doe investigation into crimes committed by staff members during his tenure as Milwaukee County Executive looms ever closer to Walker himself. Vos calls Walker a “whack job”. Vos is correct.

THIS JUST IN:  Do you need any more proof that Republican Governors are psychotic? Ask and you shall receive. Case in point: Mississippi Gov. Phil Bryant who this week said, “their (liberals) one mission in life is to abort children, is to kill children in the womb. It doesn’t really matter, they don’t care if the mother’s life is in jeopardy, that if something goes wrong that a doctor can’t admit them to a local hospital, that he’s not even board certified.” So, the Left’s primary mission is the creation of a world where all babies are aborted? The folks who vote for these crackpots are just as delusional (or more) than those they elect.

BREAKING NEWS:  The New York Times reports that the defeat of two conservative House Democrats by more liberal opponents in Tuesday’s Pennsylvania primary illustrates the strong hold the new health care law still has over committed Democratic voters. Representatives Jason Altmire and Tim Holden both lost in primaries to opponents who joined together with activist groups to pummel the veteran lawmakers over the opposition to the new health care law and climate change legislation — positions they had used to their advantage in the past to show their independence from President Obama and the Democratic Party. Let’s hope these primary election victors are also victorious in the general so that the House will have some more “true” Democrats.

THIS JUST IN:  Ann Romney is as out of touch as husband Mitt. At a Republican awards dinner last night she actually said, “I love the fact that there are women out there who don’t have a choice and they must go to work and they still have to raise the kids.” What? She actually “loves” the fact that not all women are rich like her and must both work and raise their children without having “the choice” (like she did) to do one or the other? Yikes!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

American Woman song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PnluciYGFXg

REPUBLICAN WOMEN

(sung to the Guess Who song “American Woman”)

Republican women they’ve all lost their minds
Republican women, they’ve really lost their minds
Republican women they’ve all lost their minds
Republican women they’ve all lost their minds

Say “R”, say “E”, say “P”
Say “U”, Say “B” Say “L”, say “I”, say “C”
Say “A” “N”

Republican women they’ve all lost their minds
Republican women they’ve all lost their minds
Republican women they’ve all lost their minds

Republican women, stay away from me
Republican women, from the G.O.P.
You are someone I’ll just ignore
I don’t wanna see your face no more
I got more important things to do
And I will never be sold on you

Now women, I said stay away

Republican women, listen what I say

Republican women, have no dignity
Republican women, and their tea-parties
Like I told you the time before
Michele Bachmann is just a bore
Mann Coulter I do despise
Malkin has a lazy eye
Now women, I said get away
Republican women, listen what I say

Republican women, it’s clear as day
Republican women, they’re no Tina Fey
Talk about defending our shores
Their husbands prefer time with whores
Jean Schmidt always makes a scene
Sarah Palin thinks she’s queen
Mary Matalin’s hypnotized
Ingraham’s mouth is super-sized
Now women, from the G.O.P.
Republican women, mama let me be

Go, gotta get away, gotta get away
Now go go go
Gonna leave you, women
Gonna leave you, women
Bye-bye
Bye-bye
Bye-bye
Bye-bye
You’re no good for me
I’m no good for you
Gonna look you right in the eye.
Tell you what I’m gonna do
You know I’m gonna leave
You know I’m gonna go
You know I’m gonna leave
You know I’m gonna go, women
I’m gonna leave, women
Goodbye, Republican women

Newt’s Newest Lie Soon To Be Revealed

Remember when Newt Gingrich promised to stay in the GOP primary election race until the Republican Convention in August? If you do not, perhaps this will refresh your memory.

Well, it now looks like that statement will soon be revealed as just another one of Gingrich’s many lies. It will prove to be just as untruthful as Gingrich’s statement that, “The $300,000 I was paid by Freddie Mac were for my services as, uh, a historian.” and “When I was speaker, we had four consecutive balanced budgets.”  Still, maybe Gingrich’s best statement about lying was when he said, “Any ad which quotes what I said on Sunday is a falsehood.” So anybody who quotes Gingrich’s own words is lying? How’s that for twisted logic?

But let’s get to our latest news. The Huffington Post reports that despite Newt Gingrich’s vow to remain in the GOP race until the Republican Convention in August, it looks like he will soon quit the race. The blog reports that just yesterday in an interview with ABC News, Gingrich said, “I think we need to take a deep look at what we are doing”,  adding that he would then have to “reassess”.

Those certainly sound like “quittin'” words from the candidate who’s campaign is millions of dollars in debt and who has laid off more than one-third of his staff. Oh well, Gingrich’s vow to stay in the race will simply be remembered as just another one of his lies like, “The Obama administration … would impose on every Catholic institution, every Jewish institution, every Protestant institution the Obamacare standard of what you have to buy as insurance.”

Oh Newt, we hardly knew ye!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

You’re A Mean One Mr. Grinch song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nzXKWKaxt3c

YOU’RE A HAS-BEEN, NEWT GINGRICH

(sung to the Dr. Seuss song “The Grinch That Stole Christmas”)

You’re a has-been, Newt Gingrich
You’re lacking in appeal
Your were ousted as The Speaker
No one wants to hear you squeal
Newt Gingrich

You’re a unicycle
Without even one wheel

You’ve had three wives, Newt Gingrich
A mistress in the hole
Philandering’s your day job
You’re a slimy ugly troll
Newt Gingich

These woman that like you, must
Be on work release or parole

You’re a vile one, Newt Gingrich
Your words reek with rancid bile
Your criticism of Bill Clinton
As you’re cheating all the while
Newt Gingrich

There couldn’t be a bigger hypocrite
Within a Midwest country mile

You’re a foul one, Newt Gingrich
Your first divorce smelled of skunk
Your wife, Jackie fighting cancer
You told her she was junk
Newt Gingrich

The nicest words to describe you,
Are, as follows, and I quote, Pink. Wank, Punk

You’re a coward, Newt Gingrich
Avoided your army spot
Deferment-seeking chicken-hawk
That likes to talk real tough
Newt Gingrich

Your soul is an appalling dump heap overflowing
With the most disgraceful assortment of Republican
Sound-bytes imaginable,
Mangled up in tangled up knots

You’re the racist, Newt Gingrich
It’s not Judge Sotomayor
You play the race card as a white guy
That’s so laughable I’m sure
Newt Gingrich

You’re a stinking pile of vomit
Sitting in the sun
With feces on top

Huntsman Compares GOP to Chinese Communist Party

It was enlightening to learn that former GOP Presidential candidate Jon Huntsman believes that the Republican Party is like China’s authoritarian Communist party. The Daily Beast reports that “Huntsman returned to the podium to mourn the current state of his party on Sunday night at the 92nd Street Y in New York. He spoke of being disappointed when he was uninvited from a Florida fundraiser for suggesting a third-party run, saying, ‘This is what they do in China on party matters if you talk off script.’ He noted that even Ronald Reagan wouldn’t have a shot at the nomination in this climate. ”

Huntsman of course was the only sane candidate crammed into the GOP clown-car of candidates which once held the likes of Michele “The Founding Fathers Fought To End Slavery” Bachmann, Rick “Man On Dog” Santorum and Herman “Raisin'” Cain. That group of crazies was also joined on and off again by Donald “Birther” Trump and Sarah “Death Panels” Palin. Now of course, only Newt “Four Wives” Gingrich, Ron “Dr. No” Paul and Mitt “Flip Flop” Romney remain.

What separated Jon Huntsman from the other GOP hopefuls was intelligence and a sense of moderation. He was the former Governor of Utah and an Eagle Scout who was awarded six honorary doctorate degrees. He also is fluent in multiple Chinese dialects. He worked in the Reagan administration as a White House staff Assistant, in the George H. W. Bush administration as Deputy Assistant Secretary of Commerce and United States Ambassador to Singapore and in the Barack Obama administration as United States Ambassador to China.

It was impossible for Huntsman to win the Republican nomination for President precisely because of those qualities. He was intelligent enough to believe in and understand math and science (and evolution as well) and moderate enough to work with Democrats. Those attributes are a death knell in today’s Tea Party ruled GOP where candidates must publicly denounce intelligence (and evolution as well) and vow to oppose every single Democratic initiative regardless of merit.

Consequently, it is refreshing to see a man who knows an awful lot about the Chinese to recognize the striking similarity of today’s Republican Party and the Chinese Communist Party.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

“All Together Now” song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LtjhW-ERoak

ALL TOGETHER NOW

 (sung to the Beatles song “All Together Now”)

One, two, three, four
Rick Perry’s a Texan whore
Five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten I loathe you

A, B, C, D
Bachmann’s drinking too much tea
E, F, G, H, I, J I loathe you

Boom, bam, boom
Boom, bam, boom

Mitt’s a dip
Boom, bam, boom
Newt’s crazy
Boom, bam, boom
Paul’s a dope
Boom, bam, boom
Where’s Christie?

All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now

Black, white, green, red
Listen to what Herm Cain said
Pink, brown, yellow, orange and blue I loathe you

All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now

Rick’s a twit
Boom, bam, boom
Jon’s a dweeb
Boom, bam, boom
Not a hope
Boom, bam, boom
Nobodies!

All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now….

Crazy Palin-Endorsed Teapublican Compares “No Smoking” Signs To Hitler

Nuff said!

This week’s episode of “Crazy Republican Comparisons” features Republican U.S. Senate candidate, John Raese. While speaking to a group of supporters, the Tea Party and Sarah Palin endorsed Raese compared “No Smoking” signs to one of Adolf Hitler’s most notorious mandates. He said,

I don’t want government telling me what I can do and what I can’t do because I’m an American.  But in Monongalia County you can’t smoke a cigarette, you can’t smoke a cigar, you can’t do anything.  And I oppose that because I believe in everybody’s individual freedoms and everybody’s individual rights to do what they want to do and I’m a conservative and that’s the way that goes.

But in Monongalia County now, I have to put a huge sticker on my buildings to say this is a smoke free environment.  This is brought to you by the government of Monongalia County.  Ok?

Remember Hitler used to put Star of David on everybody’s lapel, remember that?  Same thing.

As we so often say, a picture is worth a thousand words:

Really? “No Smoking” signs are the same thing as the badges used by the Nazi government to mark the Jews during World War II? “No Smoking” signs which are designed to protect the public health are the same thing as the Star of David badge used by Hitler organize the persecution and destruction of the Jewish race?

Teapublican John Raese is a very sick man and anybody in West Virginia who agrees with his ludicrous comparison and votes for this lunatic is also a sick person.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Garden Party song link:  http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x89fev_ricky-nelson-garden-party_music

TEA BAG PARTY

(sung to the Ricky Nelson song “Garden Party”)

I went to a Tea Bag party hoping to make some brand new friends
But they became my enemies, those right wing racist men
When I got to the Tea Bag party, they all looked the same
That really surprised me, and no one had a brain

But its all right now, I learned my lesson well
You see, ya can’t please everyone, so ya got to please yourself

Crazies there from miles around, mostly with white hair
Locals brought their shotguns, there was hatred in the air
‘n’ over in the corner, not to my surprise
Sarah Palin sportin’ thigh-high boots while she winked her eyes.

But its all right now, I learned my lesson well
You see, ya can’t please everyone, so they can go to hell

Lot-in-dah-dah-dah, lot-in-dah-dah-dah

Told them they were so wrong, Glenn Beck is insane
Drill Baby, Drill’s stupid,  and Palin is to blame
I said Rand Paul is crazy too, best not drink his tea
Then I told them things about Michele Bachmann they would not believe

But its all right now, I learned my lesson well
You see, ya can’t please everyone, so they can go to hell

Lot-dah-dah-dah (lot-dah-dah-dah)
Lot-in-dah-dah-dah

Someone opened up a closet door and donned a white pointy hood
Punching his railroad ticket to Hell and just the way he should
If you’re goin’ to a Tea Bag party, I wish you a lotta luck
Bring a misspelled sign, use racist slang and drive a pick-up truck

But its all right now, I learned my lesson well
You see, ya can’t please everyone, so ya got to please yourself

Lot-dah-dah-dah (lot-dah-dah-dah)
Lot-in-dah-dah-dah

But its all right now, I learned my lesson well
You see, ya can’t please everyone, so ya got to please yourself

A Renewed Rush To Boycott Limbaugh

Conservative radio host Rush Limbaugh is facing a renewed push to have local advertisers and stations sever their ties with him.

This new campaign is being mounted by the National Organization for Women (NOW) and it has evolved from the backlash precipitated by Limbaugh a few months ago when he publicly called  Georgetown Law Student Sandra Fluke a “slut” and a “prostitute”. Limbaugh also said that Fluke was having so much sex she couldn’t walk to Capitol Hill to testify before Congress. He also said, “So, if we’re gonna sit here, and if we’re gonna have a part in this, then we want something in return, Ms. Fluke: And that would be the videos of all this sex posted online so we can see what we are getting for our money.” This is peculiar stuff coming from a man who was detained by drug enforcement agents ata Florida airport after returning from an all-male excursion to the Dominican Republic when they discovered he had a bottle of Viagra in his luggage which was prescribed to another person.

In any event, following the Sandra Fluke remarks, some 168 sponsors stopped advertising on Limbaugh’s radio program and at least 2 stations dropped his show. Indeed, for a lengthy period on his flagship station WABC, his commercial time consisted only of free public service announcements and his online feed featured dead air. The Stop Rush Project provides a detailed listing of all national advertisers who have dropped or are avoiding placing ads on Limbaugh’s program.

Despite the loss of so many national advertisers however, local businesses continue to advertise on his show. Politicususa.com reports, “This is who the National Organization for Women will be targeting. Limbaugh can survive the loss of some national advertisers, but his empire is built on local stations paying big bucks to carry his show. If local advertisers bail, Rush Limbaugh’s show will be become financial loser for the local stations who carry him.” NOW is organizing a series of protests at local radio affiliates who carry the Limbaugh program in an effort to convince those stations and local advertisers to sever ties with Limbaugh. Some of the cities where the protests will be held include, Washington, D.C., New York City, Phoenix, AZ, Indianapolis, IN, Columbia, MO, Toledo, OH, Grand Rapids, MI, and West Palm Beach, FL. The message that the National Organization for Women is sending is that the pressure is not going to stop. Any advertiser who supports, or radio station that carries Rush Limbaugh will be held accountable.

NOW President Terry O’Neill said, “For more than two decades, Rush Limbaugh has degraded women, people of color and anyone who doesn’t look or think like him. Like bullies everywhere, Limbaugh uses the age-old tactic of savaging one woman for the purpose of intimidating all women away from the public square. Rush’s hostile, hateful speech is destructive to our public discourse, our communities and our democracy…NOW is proud to stand with Sandra Fluke and everyone Limbaugh has degraded and insulted over the years. We hope that women’s rights and social justice supporters around the country will join us in this campaign.”

Here’s hoping NOW’s campaign is a resounding success. It would be wonderful to see the perfect mesh of the First Amendment right to free speech and free market capitalism drive this uneducated (flunked out of college after only 2 semesters), racist (he told an African American female caller to his show to, “Take that bone out of your nose and call me back.”), drug addict (he has admitted an addiction to pain killers) off the airwaves for good.

Please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

The No No Song song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yi5ZB1ZZCEg

THE HO HO SONG

(sung to the Ringo Starr song “The No No Song”)

A doctor that I know just came from the pharmacy
He smiled at Rush and opened up his hand
Then he held out some Oxycontin tablets
He said they were the finest in the land

And Rush said, “Ho ho ho ho”
Do you have any more
My back is feeling really damn sore
If I say please
Can I have more of these
My habit has become really hardcore

A friend of Rush Limbo who wears a hat made of tin
Came on the show and opened up his hand
When he revealed twelve tablets of Vicodin
Rush was so happy he performed handstands

And Rush said, “Ho ho ho ho”
Do you have any more
I always come to you for a score
Without more of these
I’m in a cold-turkey freeze
And ditto-heads need someone to adore

(racist rant break)

A ditto-head I know said he could make organs grow
He smiled and said Rush would not need his hand
Then he gave him some blue Viagra pills, Oh
And said that things will rise upon command

And Rush said, “Ho ho ho ho”
Do you have any more
My love life has become such a chore
Please, pretty please
I’m flying overseas
The boys there like it when it hits the floor

Yes, Rush said, “Ho ho ho ho”
I just love the drug store
Painkillers, Viagra and much more
It’s such a tease
All of those varieties
I’ll grab a bunch and head right out the door.

Ted Nugent Should Face The Music

The fact that we are even commenting on Ted Nugent proves that this is a slow news day. After all, the aging former wanna-be rock star was not even very notable or relevant in his hey day back in the 1970s. He only had one very marginal hit song followed by a seemingly unending string of albums which were almost immediately relegated to the record store’s “discount bin”.

Following his dismal music career, Nugent became a fervent supporter of the NRA and the Republican Party. This makes perfect sense because Nugent is the model Republican citizen with his multiple marriages and eight children with three born out of wedlock. Like Republican Rep. Joe Walsh, Nugent was also a deadbeat dad who failed to pay his child support. Spin magazine even went so far as to include Ted Nugent in its list of the “100 Sleaziest Moments in Rock”. Why? Because in 1978, Nugent began a relationship with seventeen-year-old Hawaii native Pele Massa. Due to the age difference they could not marry so Nugent joined Massa’s parents in signing documents to make himself her legal guardian. Eewww!

Nugent is probably now known best for his violent and vulgar rhetoric directed towards Democratic Party politicians. For example, at a concert on August 21, 2007, Nugent made controversial comments about Democratic Party presidential aspirants Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton and California’s senators Barbara Boxer and Dianne Feinstein. He complained, “Obama’s a piece of shit, and I told him to suck on my machine gun.” Referring to Michigan governor Jennifer Granholm (in office 2003-11), during performances he would frequently interject “Jennifer Granholm, kiss my ass” into his songs, and shoot an arrow at her likeness. In a 2007 interview, in discussing running for governor of Michigan, he stated that Granholm “is not doing an ugly job, but as the perfect woman, she is scrotumless”.

Nugent’s most recent spew of hate speak might land him in jail however. Last week while giving a Mitt Romney stump speech at the 2012 NRA Convention in St. Louis, Nugent said, “If Barack Obama becomes the president in November, again, I will either be dead or in jail by this time next year.” He also compared the Obama administration to coyotes who needed to be shot, and encouraged voters to “chop [Democrats’] heads off in November.”

It would appear that Ted Nugent publicly proclaimed that he would attempt to assassinate or do harm to President Obama if he is elected again. Or, as CNN’s LZ Granderson put it, “A man with a truckload of guns has threatened the life of our president while the country’s at war.” In retrospect the recent comment about Ann Romney never having had a paying job in her life seems to pale in comparison.

Granderson went on to say,

Nugent’s words were: “If Barack Obama is elected, I’ll either be dead or in jail this time next year,” which sounds to me like he’s open to directing his disapproval of Obama in a way that is violent and unlawful. When you see that statement next to Nugent comparing Obama and his colleagues to coyotes that needed to be shot, as well as the need to “ride into that battlefield and chop their heads off in November,” I don’t see how that rant cannot be looked upon as a threat on the president’s life.

Ted Nugent’s words did not go unnoticed by the Secret Service however. He has been called in to speak with members of the agency who are responsible for guarding the President’s life today. Secret Service spokesman George Ogilvie confirmed that the agency was looking into the matter and said, “We are aware of the incident and we are taking appropriate follow-up.”

Looks like Ted Nugent may be forced to face the music.

Please remember to click on the song link below to not only familiarize yourselves with the tune but to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody which is based upon Ted Nugent’s only hit song.

“Cat Scratch Fever” song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WEcHcxW0nXE

RAT ASS FEVER

 (sung to the Ted Nugent song “Cat Scratch Fever”)

Well I don’t know where Ted comes from
But he sure is dumb
Fits in with the G.O.P.
But I do know Nugent blew-it
And he sure blew it good
They give his songs away for free

Ted gives me rat ass fever
Rat ass fever

Well the first time that I thought it
Was on his radio show
Ted’s songs and his monologue did bore
He is nothing but a shock jock
Talking bout a race war
And calling Democrats “whores”

Ted gives me rat ass fever
Rat ass fever
Ted has that rat ass fever
Rat ass fever

He’s not too dangerous
He’s got no brain
Ted Nugent’s stra-stra-strange
No doubt about it
He’s been goin’ insane
Soon he’ll be sayin’ “bye-bye”
He wants Obama dead

(jail break)

He’ll be doing the jail tour
For the things he has planned
They might just throw away the key
No more hate speech on his show
Ted Nugent’s sure to be banned
It should be years before he’s free

Ted gives me rat ass fever
Rat ass fever
Ted has that rat ass fever

Rat ass fever
Rat ass fever
Rat ass fever
Rat ass fever
Rat ass fever

Mitt(wit) Romney Hides His Tax Return Again!

Mitt Romney is continuing his flip-flopping ways.

Shortly after announcing his candidacy for President, Republican Mitt Romney declared that he would not release his tax returns for inspection by the electorate (not to mention his opponents and the media). Then, after facing criticism from his GOP opponents and the media, he flip-flopped and said that he would only release tax returns in April when he was the Republican nominee. Unfortunately for the multimillionaire Romney, last week he let it slip that he thinks he only pays a 15% effective tax rate. Inasmuch as the vast number of working/middle class wage earners pay a much higher tax percentage according to the income tax marginal brackets, the heat was turned up on Romney to release his tax returns immediately. Average Americans wanted to know if our tax system is so unfair that the wealthy benefit while the ordinary (not very wealthy) wage earner is penalized. Next it was revealed that Romney stashes tens of millions of dollars in offshore Cayman Island accounts and thereby deprives our nation of tax dollars while less affluent Americans bear the burden of paying their full share of taxes. Consequently, as a result of added pressure, Mitt Romney flip-flopped yet again and decided to release his 2010 and estimated 2011 tax returns.

The returns show that Mitt and Ann Romney, who are worth from $190 million to $250 million, earned $21.7 million in 2010 and paid a 13.9 percent tax rate, lower than that of a person earning $50,000. The 2011 estimates show an income of $20.9 million, with the couple paying a tax rate of 15.4 percent, closer to the estimate that Romney gave but still substantially less than most average Americans pay. The Romneys’ income came entirely from investments, mostly from capital gains, which are taxed at a lower rate than other types of income including wages. We also learned that Romney not only stashed cash in the Cayman Islands, but also in other tax-avoiding venues such as Luxembourg and in those infamous Swiss bank accounts.

During a time when millions of average hard-working Americans are still suffering from the economic meltdown of 2008 and considering the fact that income inequality between the top 1% and the other 99% has been increasing at an astronomical rate, many believe an unfair tax system deserves much blame. Mitt Romney exemplifies the top 1%, and Americans want to see if he benefits from an unfair advantage. The Huffington Post adds that “Over the course of the 2012 primary campaign Romney has made a series of gaffes that have helped create a caricature of the candidate as an aloof plutocrat. He made a flippant $10,000 bet during a televised debate. He emphatically declared to a crowd in Iowa that “corporations are people.” In a statement that has been somewhat taken out of context, Romney declared, “I like being able to fire people who provide services to me.” When announcing that he had an estimated 15 percent tax rate, Romney glossed over the $374,327 he earned in speaking fees as “not very much.”

Did Romney’s release of his 2010 and estimated 2011 tax returns ease the nation’s suspicion of an unfair tax code which benefits the rich while punishing the less affluent? Not at all. It magnified the fact that the rich (who earn virtually all of their income by means of capital gains, dividends and private equity fees) pay a much lower percentage of those earnings in taxes than do average working/middle class Americans (who earn their income via wages) and are taxed at much higher marginal rates. Also, inasmuch as a large number of average wage earners live pay-check to pay-check and have very little excess money to invest, they are barred from taking advantage of the low capital gains and dividend rates that the wealthy enjoy. This state of affairs does not (and should not) sit well with many people.

To add insult to the tax-paying injury of average Americans, Mitt Romney’s proposed tax plan would not increase the tax burden on the super wealthy to level the playing field. Instead of raising the 15% tax on capital gains etc. which Romney and his rich friends pay, Romney’s plan would keep that tax at the present low level but reduce the capital gains tax for middle class Americans to zero. Problem is, inasmuch as most average Americans do not earn very much (if anything) by means of capital gains, they would benefit very little (if at all) from Romney’s plan while the rich would continue to have an unfair advantage. Romney’s tax plan is just smoke and mirrors.

Finally, as the tax filing deadline for 2011 came and went yesterday, we learned that Mitt Romney did not file on time. He flip flopped yet again.  Rather than file on time, he requested an extension through October 2012. What is Romney continuing to hide from the American people? It is unlikely after all, that the extension was requested because Romney’s army of accountants and financial advisers did not have the time to prepare his returns. They were able to prepare and to release the 2011 estimated returns over a month ago. It seems quite comical that the man who claims he can fix the economy cannot manage to file his taxes on time. Thank goodness Romney’s wife has never held a paying job. The extra W-2 would completely baffle Romney and his tax team!

 

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Taxman song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZqK97av7I3s

TAXSCAM

 (sung to The Beatles song “Taxman”)

Let me tell you
‘Bout Mitt Romney
He just pays 2
While you pay 3

Mitt loves a tax scam
Yeah, Mitt’s the taxman

Fifteen percent
Is much too small
Be thankful that Mitt
Pays at all

Mitt loves a tax scam
Yeah, Mitt’s the taxman

He won’t pay a tax
To fix the street;
Don’t you know that Mitt
Is a tax cheat?
Now that truth’s been told
He’ll face some heat
But if Romney talks
He will be beat
(Tax Scam)

(tax break)

Mitt loves a tax scam
Yeah, Mitt’s the taxman

He hides his pay out there offshore
(Ha Ha Mr. Willard runs)
Cuz Mitt don’t want to pay some more
(Ah Ha! He’s a cheat)
Mitt loves a tax scam
Yeah, Mitt’s the taxman

How Mitt avoids tax rates too high
(Tax Scam)
Declares just pennies with his lies
(Tax Scam)
Mitt loves a tax scam
Yeah, Mitt’s the taxman
And we’re working for no one but he
(Tax Scam)

Patriots’ Day In Patriots’ Land

It is always nice to enjoy a long holiday weekend. In Boston, Massachusetts, Patriots day is is especially enjoyable. Schools, businesses and state offices are closed on this holiday which officially commemorates the battles of Lexington and Concord, which ignited the Revolutionary War in 1775. Patriots’ Day is also a legal holiday in Maine, which was actually a part of Massachusetts until 1820.

Patriots Day is particularly enjoyable in the city of Boston for reasons related to sports. First of all, the Boston Red Sox always play at venerable Fenway Park on the holiday, but there is a twist. The baseball game is played at 11:00 AM so as not to conflict with the hundreds of thousands of fans who come to Boston on this day not to watch baseball, but to view the running of the Boston Marathon. Strangely enough, Patriots Day has nothing to do with our NFL franchise, the New England (formerly Boston) Patriots.

Patriots’ Day 2012 is shaping up to be rather unique in and of itself. This year marks the 100th anniversary of Fenway Park, the oldest park in Major League Baseball. The Red Sox themselves are even older than the park, having been founded in 1901. This morning the Sox will host the Tampa Bay Rays in exceptionally warm and sunny Spring weather.

It is the weather however, which is posing some trouble for the athletes in the 115th Boston Marathon. The average temperature in Boston in April is the low 50s. Runners like it to be cool but temperatures are expected to approach 90 degrees in Boston today. Such temperatures may pose a health risk to runners. Consequently, the race organizers have taken the drastic step of allowing any runner who has qualified for the race to defer their participation one year until the 2013 race. Also, the finish line will remain open for an additional two hours to accommodate runners who may be slowed down by the oppressive weather. It is interesting to note however, that today’s marathon will not be the hottest in history. In 1905 the temperature actually reached 100 degrees!

The Boston sports mania continues this evening when our National Hockey League franchise the Boston Bruins take on the Washington Capitals in Game 3 of their best of seven playoff series. The series is presently tied at one game apiece. The first two games were not decided until sudden death overtime.

If you are a sports fan from Boston, Patriots’ Day is a very special occasion.

GOP Rep. Allen “Wild Wild” West Is A Joke

The state of Florida is home to one of our nation’s most inept and moonbat-crazy members of Congress. I’m speaking of none other than Allen West, the self-proclaimed Tea Partier and former Army lieutenant who was relieved of his command and fined as the result of his violations of the Uniform Code of Military Justice.

West was elected to the U.S House of Representatives with a gang of other Tea Party supported Republicans in the 2010 mid-term elections. He was even endorsed by Sarah Palin, so that should tell you something. Since being elected he has not done much legislating, but he has revealed himself to be a suitable candidate for admittance to the psychiatric ward. Take a look at a few of the things he has publicly stated as reported in the Broward Palm Beach New Times:

!. He appears regularly on Fox News (where else?) where he has referred to President Barack Obama as a “low-level socialist agitator” whose “Marxist demagogic rhetoric” indicates a “Third World dictator-like arrogance.” ;

2. In remarks made to a conservative woman’s group in Boca Raton, Florida, West indicated how he wanted the United States to look: “In ancient days, the most feared, the most vicious warriors known to man were the Spartans,” said West. “Never known to retreat, never known to surrender.” He then told the women, Because the Spartan women at the age of 9 gave up their male sons, and their male sons went into a training that was called the Agoge and they stayed in that training for the next 11 to 12 years,” he said. “And when they finally qualified, when they were finally ready to join the ranks of the Spartan army, it was not their father who gave them their cloak and their shield. It was their mother who gave them their shield. And when the Spartan mother gave that young Spartan warrior his shield, she gave him this basic commandment: ‘Spartan, here is your shield. Come back wearing this shield or being borne upon it.'” What is West talking about? Is he advocating a military state?

•  This is what Allen West had to say about critics of the Marines who urinated on the corpses of Taliban soldiers: “As for everyone else, unless you have been shot at by the Taliban, shut your mouth, war is hell.” Apparently, West is unaware that there’s a constitutional amendment that allows us to not shut our mouths, and it specifically prevents nuts like Allen West from making us do so.

• The Palm Beach Post reports that West said this about Obama supporters: “I must confess, when I see anyone with an Obama 2012 bumper sticker, I recognize them as a threat to the gene pool.”

• This is what West said to fellow Florida Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schultz in an email: “…You are the most vile, unprofessional, and despicable member of the US House of representatives…You have proven repeatedly that you are not a lady.”

Crazy stuff indeed, but let’s take a look at what Allen West said just this week about his fellow members of Congress. CNN reports, that when West was asked at a town hall meeting how many members of Congress are “card-carrying Marxists”, he responded by saying: “I believe there’s about 78 to 81 members of the Democratic Party that are members of the Communist Party.” He went on to say, “These members of Congress advocate the type of policies that have put Europe on the brink of economic and fiscal collapse, and are driving the United States in the same direction. ”

Wow! West is truly a modern age Joe McCarthy. Problem is, West seems ignorant of the fact that none of those European countries in economic turmoil are communist nations. Then again, ignorance has never been a stumbling block to advancement within the Republican Party. Just ask the aforementioned Sarah Palin who recently suggested Allen West as a possible GOP Vice Presidential nominee!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Strangers In The Night song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hlSbSKNk9f0&feature=related

STRANGE ONES ON THE RIGHT

(sung to the Frank Sinatra song “Strangers In The Night”)

Strange ones on the right,
Fox News romancers
Not so very bright,
With our finances
This Tea Party love
Should be viewed as taboo

Palin shouting lies
And fear inciting
Rand Paul is hostile
And so damn frightening
Boehner has no heart
McConnell has no clue

Strange ones on the right,
Abnormal people
They are strange ones on the right
Not one sane moment
They should be in a freak-show
Little do they know
It would just enhance our day
If like Bristol they’d dance away and –

And on Fox every night,
They’re all together
Lovers on the right
In love forever
It’s an ugly sight
Those strange ones on the right

(Tea-Bagging break)

Don’t look now just glance away
Here comes their jailbird Tom Delay

You can join their fight
And hang together
Only if you’re white
Birds of a feather
Taking their last flight
Those strange ones on the right