Monthly Archives: November 2009

Sarah Palin: The Fibber On Twitter

Palin arrives by jet, oops we mean bus, in Orlando, FL.

Thanks to our friends over at Palingates (and yes, we are aware of the updated correction), another pack of the former ex-quitting governor’s lies (or purposely misleading statements) has been exposed. Last week that blog revealed that contrary to public opinion and official Palin announcements, Sarah  Palin is not actually on a bus tour to promote sales of her ghost-written memoir. In fact, rather than traveling in a workingman’s motor coach to each of the rural hamlets where she hawks the tome, Sarah prefers the elitist comforts of a privately owned luxury jet. It appears that she takes the jet to the next city on her tour and then discreetly rides the bus only a short distance from either her hotel or the airport to the next book signing event. She is not forthright with regard to her means of travel because she wants her fan base to believe that she is one of them; hardworking and frugal in these recessionary times. She wants them to believe that she lives like them by shopping at second hand stores and by the hands-on raising of her children. This is a calculated deception however, because in reality she and her family wore $ 150,000.00 worth of  clothes that were purchased by means of campaign donations and she pays nannies to raise her children.

Sarah Palin’s deceptions continue by means of her Twitter posts. Once again, the folks at Palingates exposed the deception. On the morning of November 24, 2009, Palin posted the following message on her twitter account:

On bus to Jacksonville, FL book signing. The Southern hospitality around here is unsurpassed – thx for the encouragement!3 book events today

In fact, Palin may have been traveling by bus at that moment, but she certainly did not ride the bus from Birmingham, AL to Jacksonville, FL. The flight log (see below) of her luxury jet reveals that she arrived via plane in Jacksonville the previous evening (November 23, 2009) at 10:09 pm. Palin supporters might be tempted to say that although the plane was in Jacksonville, there is no evidence that Palin was on the plane. Problem is, the plane seems to arrive at and depart from Palin’s book signing event locations on the very day that Palin arrives and departs from those locales. Notice the arrivals and departures from Rochester, NY, Fayetteville, NC, Birmingham, AL, Jacksonville, FL, Orlando, FL and Tri-Cities, WA. That would be quite a coincidence if Palin were not on board.

Great work Palingates!

Today’s song parody is based upon Sarah Palin’s high flying lies about her means of travel. Please enjoy.

Remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.

Leaving On A Jet Plane song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f4hsC0nRvZM

FLYIN’ ON A JET PLANE

(sung to the John Denver song “Leaving On A Jet Plane”)

All her bags are packed, she’ll “go with the flow”
Dressed like a flight attendant ‘ho
To raise some cash Palin takes to the sky
The “First Dude” must stay home, he’s so forlorn
Stapleton’s waiting, she’s blowing her horn
To hell with that bus, Sarah wants to fly

She’s bitchy yet smiles with glee
Giddy that they pay her fee
She’s more famous now than Plumber Joe
She’s flyin’ on a jet plane
She’ll never ride that old bus again
She’s raking in the dough

From Fayetteville her plane leaves the ground
In Birmingham it touches down
Sarah Palin sits next to the wing
She meets her fans and signs some books too
Then back on the jet with the nice view
Sarah Palin is living like a king

She’s bitchy yet smiles with glee
All her fans have paid her fee
She is headed now for Jacksonville
She’s leavin’ on a jet plane
Her fans left standing out in the rain
They hate to see her go

In Orlando she tells the crew
We now must fly someplace new
Send that decoy bus upon its way
She knows that her fans are dumb
But her plane travel must stay mum
Or they might stop donating their pay

She’s bitchy yet smiles with glee
Happy that they paid her fee
Thinking of the ways she’ll spend her dough
She’s leavin’ on a jet plane
Profiting from their lack of brains
She smiles at them below

She’s bitchy yet smiles with glee
Happy that they paid her fee
Thinking of the ways she’ll spend her dough
She’s leavin’ on a jet plane
Profiting from their lack of brains
She smiles at them below.

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Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 20

Just a few noteworthy news stories that have been careening around the stratosphere this week.

BREAKING NEWS:  You have to love MSNBC‘s Andrea Mitchell. On her television program, Andrea Mitchell Reports last week she had Republican National Committee Chairman, Michael Steele as a guest. The topic was Sarah Palin and whether she has the political acumen to run for national office. When Steele answered in the affirmative and stated that she was a “successful governor”, Mitchell stopped him in his tracks and reminded him that she quit that position halfway through her first term. Good for you, Ms. Mitchell.

THIS JUST IN:  From the “Only In Massachusetts” category we have Charlie Baker, one of two Republican candidates for governor announcing this week that he has selected an openly gay Republican running mate. You see, in the Bay State even the conservatives are liberal.

BREAKING NEWS:  The former ex-quitting CNN talk host Lou Dobbs announced on former senator Fred Thompson’s radio show last Monday that he is strongly considering running for President. Our question to Mr. Dobbs is, “President of what? Maybe the He-Man Immigrant Hating Club?” Seriously though, we really hope that he does run as a third party candidate for no other reason than to further splinter the ever dwindling Republican Party.

THIS JUST IN: Liz Cheney took a big slapdown this week. The daughter of the former Vice President and Face Shooter in Chief, Dick Cheney runs a group known as “Keep America Safe.” She released a short documentary film in which she profiles a few residents of Standish, Michigan that claim that they are against any Guantanamo Bay prisoners being held in the maximum security prison in their town. Problem is, Standish city manager Michael Moran says that the community is strongly in favor of housing the detainees so as to repopulate the prison and bring jobs back to the city. He dismissed Cheney’s efforts as, “fearmongering.” Gee, anyone surprised that a Cheney might be involved in fearmongering?

BREAKING NEWS:  Fox News was once again caught using a little fuzzy math this week. The Fox Chicago television station displayed a graph which shows that 193% of persons polled believe that Huckabee, Romney and Palin should be president. You read that correctly, 193%.

THIS JUST IN: Sherry Johnston, the mother of Levi Johnston (the once and future son-in-law of Sarah Palin) was sentenced to three years in prison as the result of her conviction for dealing Oxy-Contin. The sentence seems a little harsh. Couldn’t they just have arranged for Alaskan state trooper Mike Wooten (estranged brother-in-law of Sarah Palin) to tazer her?

BREAKING NEWS: Fox News‘ Greta Van Sasquatch had Karl Rove as a guest on her show this week. The topic of discussion was Sarah Palin’s book and both of them were gushing over the wonderful writing contained therein. Van Sasquatch then asked Rove how Palin should deal with crazy rumors like the ones surrounding the birth of baby Trigg. They both agreed that Palin handles such rumors in the best way possible which is to ignore them. That statement should lead everyone to doubt that either of them has even read the book that they were praising. Did neither Rove nor Van Sasquatch realize that Palin did not ignore the Trigg story but rather dedicated lengthy passages in her book to just that subject. Van Sasquatch then said that Barack Obama was lucky that he did not have to face such unwarranted rumors. Does Greta live on another planet? Does she not remember the Birthers and those others that claimed the President is a secret Muslim? Fox News and its commentators simply have no credibility.

THIS JUST IN:  It was revealed this week that Republican John Boehner’s (pronounced, “boner”) PAC spent 83 thousand dollars for his golf outings last year. I wonder how the fiscally conservative Republicans’ unemployed constituents feel about that lavish lifestyle of the rich and famous?

BREAKING NEWS:  This week the Anti Defamation League named Fox News‘ Glenn Beck as the nation’s ‘Fearmongerer In Chief.” Were there any other candidates?

Yes indeed, the reich-wing Republican world is a scary place. So scary in fact, that it inspired today’s song parody. Please enjoy.

Remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.

Welcome To My Nightmare song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3OGM4FdpJFc

WELCOME TO MY NIGHTMARE

(sung to the Alice Cooper song “Welcome To My Nightmare”)

Welcome to my nightmare
You ain’t seen nothin’ like it
I think you’re gonna feel
Something’s wrong

A cerebral vacation
Republicans need sedation
Their mouths will be filled with foam
Before too long

Welcome to my nightmare, ohh

Welcome to my breakdown
Does Sarah Palin scare you?
That’s just the way they are
In Red State towns

They sweat and laugh and scream there
Mann Coulter’s their wet dream there
He really makes them feel
Right at home, there

Welcome to my breakdown, ohh
You’re welcome to my nightmare, yeah

(musical interlude)

Welcome to my nightmare
You know I just don’t like it
G.O.P. makes me feel
I don’t belong

They lie and shout and scream there
And Palin is their queen there
They all giggle and squeal
At her throne, there

Welcome to my nightmare, ohh
Welcome to my breakdown
Yeah!

(great instrumental fade out)

Saturday Night Music Byte

The Bay City Rollers were a Scottish pop/rock band of the 1970s. Their youthful, clean-cut image, distinctive styling featuring tartan-trimmed outfits, and cheery, sing-along pop hits helped the group become among the most popular musical acts of their time. For a relatively brief but fervent period (nicknamed “Rollermania”), they were worldwide teen idols. The group’s line-up featured numerous changes over the years, but the classic line-up during its heyday included guitarists Eric Faulkner and Stuart Wood, singer Les McKeown, bassist Alan Longmuir, and drummer Derek Longmuir.

Since the band’s quick rise to, and subsequent fall from fame, the members have endured numerous and varied struggles regarding royalty payments, substance abuse, and personal legal problems.

Bassist Alan Longmuir, his younger brother Derek Longmuir, a drummer, along with school mate, lead singer Gordon “Nobby” Clark founded the group in Edinburgh, Scotland in 1967, as The Saxons. Shortly afterwards, seeking a less English-sounding moniker, they chose a new name allegedly by throwing a dart at a map of the United States. The dart landed on the map in the state of Arkansas, but since “Arkansas Rollers” did not sound quite right, and might also lead to problems with pronunciation, they tried again and this time the dart landed near the community of Bay City, Michigan.

The five members at the very end of 1973 – the Longmuir brothers, Faulkner, Wood and McKeown – are generally referred to as the “classic line-up”. In early 1974 McKeown hastily re-recorded lead vocals of the group’s forthcoming single, “Remember (Sha La La La)”, which became a sizable hit and a lead-in to a series of UK chart hits. By early 1975, they were one of the highest-selling acts in Britain. That year saw a successful UK tour (which prompted newspaper headlines about “Rollermania”), and a 20-week UK television series, Shang-a-Lang.

As the group’s popularity swelled to superstardom in the UK, a concerted effort was made by Arista Records (the record company that evolved from Bell) to launch the Rollers in America. New Arista head Clive Davis was instrumental in grooming and overseeing the project. His work paid off, as in early ’76, the Rollers reached #1 on the US Billboard Hot 100 with “Saturday Night”, the song that had missed the UK chart completely two years earlier. The Rollers gave the tune its American debut via a much-hyped satellite-link performance on Saturday Night Live with Howard Cosell.

During the 1980s and 1990s, there were various short-lived revivals featuring some of the original members. The classic quintet played Japan in 1982, and again in ’83 with guest spots from both Mitchell and McGlynn. A slapdash reunion album of sorts, Breakout, came out in Japan in 1985, performed primarily by McKeown and McGlynn with minor contributions from Faulkner, Wood, and Mitchell.

In the late 1980s a version of the band called the “New Rollers” was formed featuring Faulkner on lead vocals, Kass (Karen Prosser) on vocals, Jason Medvec on guitar, Andy Boakes on bass, Mark Roberts on drums. The band toured extensively throughout the US and Canada as well as tours of the UK and Australia. This group also released an independent 5-song EP titled “Party Hardy”.

In 1990 Stuart Wood and Alan Longmuir joined with Faulkner to tour under the BCR name, and issued several CDs of re-recordings of the old Roller tunes. These recordings still turn up frequently on iTunes and in CD bins.

The classic lineup (minus Derek) performed a one-off show at a New Year’s Eve 1999 concert in Scotland. In the 2000s, interest was rekindled in Britain by various television documentaries about the group and a new TV-advertised compilation of greatest hits, Very Best of the Bay City Rollers, which entered the UK charts on release in 2004 at #11.

Currently, Mitchell, Faulkner and McKeown each regularly tour playing Rollers hits. Due to legal issues over which performers may use the band name, McKeown’s group uses the name: Les McKeown’s Legendary Bay City Rollers. At present there is no official Bay City Rollers.

Please enjoy (if you can) this video clip of The Bay City Rollers performing their 1976 hit, “Saturday Night”.


Sarah Palin Boob Tube Theme Songs – 30

We hope everyone had a happy and healthy Thanksgiving holiday. We are also glad that the Green Bay Packers vanquished the Detroit Lions so as to keep their playoff hopes alive. Bring on the Baltimore Ravens! Now, if only the Boston Bruins and Celtics can continue to hold onto first place in their divisions of the NHL and NBA.

We are taking a little bit of a break from posting substantive posts for the next few days. But that is no reason to skip out on some fun song parodies. Inasmuch as Sarah Palin fancies herself the outdoorsy type, we thought we might spoof her with the classic 1960’s theme song from television’s Daniel Boone.

Daniel Boone theme song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IQ1QUwgn4Pw

SARAH P.

(sung to the theme of “Daniel Boone”)

Sarah P. was a guv.
She was a lame guv.
But McCain was even lamer,
so should we really blame her, golly gee

Sarah P. was a guv.
She was a dumb guv.
But the First Dude was dumber,
so she summoned “Joe the Plumber” to the scene.

From the beehive do on the top of her head
To the spike of her high heeled shoes;
Like a zombie from “Night of the Living Dead”,
She looked so damn confused.

Sarah P. was a guv.
She was a slick guv.
In an attempt to win her hicks back;
Her speeches addressed “Joe Sixpack’ all the time.

Drivin’ demons out with prayer!
A one-time Wasilla mayor, was she!

Sarah P. was a guv.
She was a big guv.
But her quitting nature’s bigger;
So she pulled the quitting trigger, did she.

Sarah P. was a guv.
She was a gun guv.
She loved aerial shootin’;
And would love to blast Mike Wooten from a tree!

She said, “Thanks But No Thanks” and “Drill Baby Drill”
But beyond that had nothin’ to say;
During interviews, she just should have sat still,
Was upstaged by Tina Fey

Sarah P. was a guv.
Was a swine guv.
And she was quite a whiner;
With her lipstick and eye-liner, was she!

Sarah Palin’s Black Friday Black Ops

Piper Palin spellchecks Sarah at book signing event.

The day after Thanksgiving is allegedly the busiest shopping day of the year as retailers discount goods in an attempt to jump-start the holiday shopping season. The day is known as “Black Friday” because it is the day when most retailers’ accounting books shift from the red to the black. This year’s Black Friday is also a day when Sarah Palin, the ex-quitting former governor of Alaska will be in Washington state for a weekend of hawking her ghost-written fictional memoir in the hope of raking in enough cash to extinguish all of her legal defense debt. Palin hopes that today is the day that her subservient supporters will buy enough books to shift her personal finances from the red to the black.

She has a good chance of achieving her goal. Palin’s supporters are primarily comprised of under-educated, rural, right-wing, religious zealots. These folks will only buy a book if its title is, “Bible” or if it is very easy to read with little words and lots of pictures. Sarah Palin’s Going Rogue fits the second category quite nicely. Consequently, she should sell a bunch of them which will then be gift-wrapped and given out as Christmas presents all across backwoods America.

The rest of the reading public may want to take a pass on delving into the Palin book. The critical reviews are not flattering. Today’s Boston Globe has an informative yet negative review which can be read here. Some of the more memorable quotes contained therein are as follows:

Even if one agrees with her premise that Team McCain was dealt a poor hand last year and made things worse by infighting and poor decision-making, it’s not at all clear that if they had followed Palin’s advice, the outcome would have been different. Given her poor grasp of many issues and her tendency to make verbal gaffes, it’s not surprising that John McCain’s staff members kept her on a short leash.

and

While readers get glimpses of her sunny side, it’s often eclipsed by her need to give verbal payback to Alaskan and national politicians who crossed her or didn’t take her seriously enough. Also, while her press coverage wasn’t always what she might have liked, it goes with the territory of playing in the political big leagues, and it would have been more helpful to her image if she had accepted it, rather than whine about it excessively. Though her media-bashing may play well among the conservative base, it might not be the best approach for snagging centrist voters who tend to be the people whose votes decide presidential elections.

and our favorite,

Palin also doesn’t help herself by having produced such a poorly written book. The narrative rambles, and there isn’t much self-reflection. One is reminded of Truman Capote’s comment about the works of Jack Kerouac: “This isn’t writing, it’s typing.’’ In addition, she should have looked ahead and devoted additional space to outlining her worldview.

Ouch!

In honor of Black Friday what better song could we parody than Steely Dan‘s “Black Friday”? please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.

Black Friday song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UVQKiqCZ9No

PALIN’S BLACK FRIDAY

(sung to the Steely Dan song “Black Friday”)

When Black Friday comes
She’ll be on her book tour
Sarah Palin hopes “Going Rogue” is a great big score
When Black Friday comes
She’ll collect all the dough she’s owed
And before those lines thin out she’ll be on the road
When Black Friday comes it will be “me”, “me”, “me”
Cuz this is Sarah P.

When Black Friday comes
She’ll be at the Borders Books
Where all her supporters have no brains judging by their looks
But they will all be so pleased
They’ve paid their SarahPAC dues
Yet they have no idea that they’re just being used
When Black Friday comes they’ll pay Palin’s bills
You know they will

(musical interlude)

When Black Friday comes
Palin’s bus will be on the roll
Counting her book cash just thrills her big empty black soul
Even though her coins are shiny
Sarah’s demeanor is mostly whiney
She needs the cash to move away from the cold North Pole
When Black Friday comes
She’s gonna stake her claim

To fortune and great fame!

Lynnrockets’ Blast-Off Wishes Everyone A Wonderful Thanksgiving

There will be no snarky post today. We would simply like to enjoy spending this most social of holidays with family and friends. We sincerely hope that all of you will have a happy and healthy holiday. Our thoughts are with you and we will get back to the biting remarks and song parodies after the weekend. See you then. Also, please remember, by the way, that the first Thanksgiving happened right here in Boston, so maybe our family will keep tradition and eat outside. Also too, Lynnrockets’ Blast-Off would like to thank all of you for stopping by and commenting over the last six months.

Until then we are curious as to just what you folks will be giving thanks for this year. Please let us know by leaving a comment on this post.

Finally, LET’S GO, GREEN BAY PACKERS !!!

Best wishes,

Lynnrockets

Sarah Palin Fans: Brain-Dead In Ohio

Sarah Palin brings gift to the King of Ohio.

Sarah Palin’s Magical Mavericky Tour made a stop in Columbus, Ohio this week. Needless to say, all of that city’s brain-dead nutcases stormed the local Borders Books in an attempt to meet and greet the former ex-quitting governor of Alaska. Words cannot describe however, the lack of intelligence on display at the book signing. There has never  been a lesser informed group of people assembled in one public place since all of those zombies congregated at the shopping mall in the George Romero film, Dawn Of The Dead? Okay, perhaps there were more brain-dead zombies at Glenn Beck’s Tea-Bagger protest in Washington, DC, but we did not get as good a look at their individual stupidity at that event as we did in Columbus. Please watch the video clip below to get a good taste.

Duh, “She’s the epitome of conservative-ness.” Bwa-ha-ha-ha !!!

“She’s someone that can make a difference but I never thought about it.” Slapping knees with laughter!!!

“I don’t know what she knows or doesn’t know. I wouldn’t know half the things anyone would ask me.” Huh?

“The politically correctness has got to get out now.” Please stop, you’re killing me.

In honor of the troops, please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Ohio song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GI7-m919ynU&feature=related

BRAIN DEAD IN OHIO

(sung to the Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young song “Ohio”)

Tin helmuts and Palin’s slummin’
Intelligence bought on loan
To Borders these fools are comin’
Brain-dead in Ohio

Add a few clowns to it
Columbus is such a strange town
People that aren’t “in the know”
Went to meet Palin and
They made some mumbling sounds
And they forked over their dough

Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na
Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na
Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na
Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na

‘Nother small town blew it
By letting Palin hang ‘round
Should have realized long ago
Don’t even know her, yet
They feel she is profound
They’re as dumb as Plumber Joe

These morons see Palin comin’
They can’t wait to hear her drone
When she leaves they will be bummin’
Brain-dead in Ohio
Brain-dead in Ohio
Brain-dead in Ohio
Brain-dead in Ohio
Brain-dead in Ohio
Brain-dead in Ohio
Brain-dead in Ohio
Brain-dead in Ohio
Brain-dead in Ohio
Brain-dead in Ohio
(repeat to fade)

Tuesday Night Music Byte

Joe Jackson (born David Ian Jackson, 11 August 1954, Burton upon Trent, Staffordshire) is an English musician and singer–songwriter, now living in Berlin, whose five Grammy Award nominations span from 1979 to 2001. He is best known for the 1979 hit songIs She Really Going Out with Him?”, which still gets extensive FM radio airplay; the 1982 hit, “Steppin’ Out”; and for his 1984 success with, “You Can’t Get What You Want (Till You Know What You Want)”.

Along with Elvis Costello and Graham Parker, Jackson was a part of the trio of British based artists who challenged the punk scene and brought a new wave sound to the United States in the late 1970s. He was popular for his earlier power pop and new wave music, before moving to more eclectic, though less commercially successful pop, jazz and classical music offerings.

In 1978 producer David Kershenbaum heard Jackson’s demo tape, and signed him to A&M Records on 9 August 1978. The album Look Sharp! was recorded straight away, and was released in January 1979. In an interview in February 1979 with NME magazine, Jackson talked about Look Sharp!; “I didn’t want your typical 1977/1978 new wave band sound. I wanted more of a reggae mix, where you have a very upfront bass and drums and a thin sounding guitar that goes in and out. The idea is to leave a lot of gaps to let the song really come through”. In March, Look Sharp! broke into the record charts, eventually peaking at #40 in the UK Albums Chart. The same month, A&M released the album in the U.S., and it quickly charted, reaching the #20 in the Billboard 200, after “Is She Really Going Out with Him?” was released as a single in May (while Jackson toured North America) and became a Top 40 hit. In September, the LP was certified gold in the U.S., whilst in the UK, “Is She Really Going Out with Him?” was re-released in July and charted the following month, making the Top 20. Jackson was nominated for a 1979 Best Rock Vocal Performance, Male, for the single. Equally, the album cover of Look Sharp! was nominated for Grammy Award for Best Recording Package.

Tonight’s video clip is Joe Jackson performing “Look Sharp” in Germany in 1983. Please enjoy.

Sarah Palin Takes The Money And Runs

Palin gives the kiss-off to book buying fans in Indiana.

Remember during the 2008 Presidential campaign when John McCain and Sarah Palin rolled out those commercials wherein they compared Democratic Party nominee Barack Obama to Britney Spears and Paris Hilton in an attempt to characterize the future president as a celebrity lightweight? Well, as Reverend Wright once said, “the chickens have come home to roost.” You see, Sarah Palin has now evolved into just the type of air-headed celebrity diva that she at one time criticized. Exhibit 1; she has no meaningful employment (like Paris Hilton) and is famous in the eyes of her fans for nothing other than her personality and for being famous. Exhibit 2; her personal and family life is a mess (like Britney Spears) filled with a single mother teen daughter, an unemployed husband, a criminal sister-in-law, an estranged brother-in-law and an estranged once and future son-in-law that also happens to be the father of her grandson. Exhibit 3; Sarah Palin is now on a rock star like national book-tour to promote a book that she could not even write on her own.

The book-tour itself has not gone without the type of controversy that so often surrounds celebrity divas. Take for example yesterday’s appearance at Fort Bragg where Palin was ordered by Army command to essentially “sit down and shut up”. Although the former ex-quitting governor of Alaska so often drapes herself in the flag and presents herself as an icon of and the primary supporter of our military forces, the military does not return the favor. The brass at Fort Bragg was not about to allow Palin to publicly attack their Commander in Chief, Barack Obama by means of politically grandstanding before the troops during her book signing. Consequently, she was restricted from giving a speech, taking photos and personalizing notes in the books that she signed. Also too, just thinking aloud here, but why did the patriotic, physically fit basketball player, beauty contestant never demonstrate her unfaltering support for the military by enlisting therein?

Even more entertaining however was the fiasco known as the Noblesville, Indiana Borders Books appearance. Throngs of Palin supporters endured the chillingly cold and wet weather waiting in line for up to 9 hours to buy her book and obtain a wristband which would entitle them to meet Palin and get their book signed in person on November 19th. That of course was of no concern to Sarah Palin who simply up and quit signing (sound familiar?)  in the middle of the event and promptly boarded her luxury coach to depart for places unknown. It was of no consequence to Sarah Palin that these people paid good money for her book (which enriched the former governor), skipped work (which decreased their fortunes) and suffered for hours waiting outside in the elements. Needless to say, many of those people were outraged by Palin’s callous action and vowed to return their books and cease their support for the former vice presidential candidate. Thereafter in a feeble attempt to quell the backlash against her, Palin issued this statement via Facebook,

I’ve been told that yesterday there were supporters in Noblesville who stood in long lines for hours in the cold and rain, and the book signing event ended without a chance to say hello to everyone who showed up. I am so sorry. We are working on a solution for those who were left behind. I apologize.

The best part of the half apology is that, as usual, Palin accepts no personal blame. By saying, “I’ve been told” that the terrible thing happened, Palin implies that she personally knew nothing about it and therefore cannot be held personally responsible. Problem is, before her bus was able to leave the parking lot, it was swarmed by a mass of protesting former fans. Could Palin not see them out the windows of the bus? Could she not hear them? The answer is that she could both see and hear them and that her apology simply adds to her growing list of lies. Please watch the following clip from MSNBC‘s Countdown With Keith Olbermann for an overview of the book signing disaster:

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s very topical song parody.

Please Mr. Postman song link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8cxSAh-LFAM

MRS. PALIN

(sung to the Beatles version of the song “Mr. Postman”)

Wait, oh yes wait a minute Mrs. Palin
Wait, wait Mrs. Palin

Mrs. Palin can’t you see?
We camped out overnight here in Indy?
We’ve been waiting such a long time
We froze our asses off in line

You must have something to say
Why did you blow us off today?
Please Sarah Palin honestly,
Why did you treat us so egregiously?
We’ve been standing here waiting Mrs. Palin
So patiently
Why not some word, or even better
Will you just sign this damn book for me?

Please Mrs. Palin can’t you see?
We’ve paid our SarahPAC membership fees
You left us waiting in this line
“Stick your book where the sun don’t shine!”

We won’t forget you passed us by
You can kiss our support bye-bye
You didn’t stop to make us feel better
No, you left us out in the bad weather

Sarah Palin can’t you see?
We’re gonna hang out your dirty laundry
It will hang out there on that line
You stood us up for the very last time!

You gotta wait a minute, wait a minute
Wait a minute, wait a minute
You gotta wait a minute, wait a minute
Now you will see, you’re our enemy

You gotta wait a minute, wait a minute
Wait a minute, wait a minute
Mrs. Palin
We all will remember, 19th of November!!!

You gotta wait a minute, wait a minute
Wait a minute, wait a minute
You gotta wait a minute, wait a minute
You gotta wait a minute, wait a minute
You gotta wait a minute, wait a minute
(repeat to fade)

Sarah Palin: The Facebook Schnook Or The Quitter On Twitter?

Immanuel Kant, a philosopher of the theory of knowledge was once quoted in the San Diego Union-Tribune as having said, “Science is organized knowledge. Wisdom is organized life.” Did we ever mention that Sarah Palin has poor organizational skills?

The former ex-quitting governor of Alaska  demonstrated to us once again last Friday evening that she finds no correlation between science, life, organization and wisdom. She utilized Facebook, her second favorite means of transmitting ideas to oppose the Senate Democrats’ intention to hold a Saturday vote on whether to proceed with debate on its version of the health care reform bill. By the way, Ms. Quittypants’ first favorite means of transmitting ideas is Twitter because her ideas can usually be expressed in much less than that format’s 140 character restriction. On Facebook she said,

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid is pushing for yet another weekend vote (commonplace now for the party of “transparency”) because he knows that the American people will be none too happy about the Democrats’ proposal the longer they have to look it over,

Okay, where to begin? How does holding a weekend vote somehow show a lack of “transparency”? Is the vote not open and public? Is there a “cone of silence” that somehow descends upon the Capitol on Saturday? Is there a problem with trying to get a vote in before the process is delayed further by this week’s Thanksgiving recess? Has Palin ever criticized the countless times that the previous Republican majority held weekend votes?

Secondly, although nearly every single non-partisan poll shows that a majority of Americans are in favor of health care reform, Palin says that the “American people will be none too happy about the Democrats’ proposal the longer they have to look it over.” Does having a Saturday vote simply upon the matter of whether or not to proceed with debate on the content of the proposed bill somehow limit the amount of time that the American people will have to consider the content of the bill? Isn’t it during the actual debate of the substantive provisions of the bill that the American people will learn more about its content? That’s all very nice dear Sarah, but please run along now while the nice senators are trying to have an adult conversation on health care reform.

Of course after having utilized Facebook, the “Alaska Disaster” could not resist the urge to tweet away. Please consider this gem of a Twitter post that she authored on Saturday, the day of the vote,

Thot I’d stick w tour news on Twitter but can’t help digress: Call senators! Tell ’em KILL THE BILL tonite;horrible govt healthcare takeover.Senate healthcare takeover debate begins in an hour. Pls call senators if u care about another 1/6th of our economy swallowed up by Big Govt

Proof positive of the power of a University of Idaho journalism degree. Will Palin ever realize that should she choose to pursue elective office in the future, these inane tweets will come back to haunt her? Oh well, the rest of us can at least remain assured that certain time-tested scientific facts remain intact. The theory that everything that Sarah Palin touches will in turn transform itself into manure has held true once again. The Senate vote to proceed with debate on the health care reform bill of course, passed by a filibuster-proof 60 to 40 vote. Good work Sarah. You may not believe in or understand science, but time and again you prove it correct.

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

I Say A Little Prayer For You song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tLCRUWCETK4

I SAY A WITCH-MASS PRAYER FOR YOU

sung to the Dionne Warwick song “I Say A Little Prayer For You ”

The moment I wake up
Before I put on my makeup
I say a witch-mass prayer for Todd
While combing my hair now,
And choosing which specs to wear now
I’m casting out demons for God

Forever, and ever, the demons be damned
And exit our lives
Forever, and ever, to them I command
“Go possess Levi”
Together, forever, that’s how it must be
Satan and Levi
That would be like heaven for me

I look at my new house
So glad the First Dude is my spouse
He helped a lot with Mike Wooten
We made love on state time
Except when it was headache time
Or when I would deal with Putin

Forever, and ever, the demons be damned
And exit our lives
Forever, and ever, to them I command
“Go possess Levi”
Together, forever, that’s how it must be
Satan and Levi
That would be like heaven for me

(Want me to speak in tongues for you?)

(Want me to speak in tongues for you?)

Forever, and ever, the demons be damned
And exit our lives
Forever, and ever, to them I command
“Go possess Levi”
Together, forever, that’s how it must be
Satan and Levi
That would be like heaven for me