The Free-Fall Of Ron Paul

How fortunate that wacky Republican Ron Paul announced his candidacy for the 2012 presidency on a Friday the 13th. He now has a ready-made excuse for why his campaign was such an abysmal failure. Despite what the pundits constantly refer to as Paul’s fervently devoted group of grassroots supporters and Tea Party nut-jobs, nobody seems to ever vote for this guy. In Iowa he garnered a respectable 21% of the vote but finished only third. In the New Hampshire primary election, his percentage of the vote plateaued at 22% and in South Carolina his support dropped to 13%. It remains to be seen how low his support will drop today in the Florida primary election.

We knew that, as always, Ron Paul’s candidacy would go nowhere.  He is after all, a radical crazy person. If you need evidence of Ron Paul’s zaniness, consider these tidbits:

–  He is known as “Dr. No” because of his insistence that he will “never vote for legislation unless the proposed measure is expressly authorized by the Constitution;

– He advocates withdrawal from the United Nations, and from the North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO);

– He opposes birthright citizenship;

– He advocates for the elimination of the Federal Reserve;

– He would deny women their right of freedom of choice in birth;

– He believes that the civil Rights act of 1964 is unconstitutional; and

– He would rather have sick people die from their illnesses than receive government provided health care.

Now let’s take a look at some of Ron Paul’s quotes as published in his newsletters:

– “Boy, it sure burns me to have a national holiday for that pro-communist philanderer Martin Luther King. I voted against this outrage time and time again as a Congressman. What an infamy that Ronald Reagan approved it! We can thank him for our annual Hate Whitey Day.”;

– “even in my little town of Lake Jackson, Texas, I’ve urged everyone in my family to know how to use a gun in self defense. For the animals are coming.”;

– “opinion polls consistently show only about 5% of blacks have sensible political opinions”;

– “if you have ever been robbed by a black teen-aged male, you know how unbelievably fleet-footed they can be.”; and

– “hip-hop thing to do among the urban youth who play unsuspecting whites like pianos.” (referring to the crime of carjacking).

This is scary stuff. Is it any wonder that this man is never taken very seriously by the majority of Americans?

Nevertheless, Ron Paul does have the capacity to do some good for his country. He demonstrated that this last autumn when he decided not to seek re-election to his Texas House of Representatives seat. Consequently, there is certain to be one less radical insane person in the next Congress. Also, there is always the possibility that as soon as Paul realizes that he has no chance of capturing the Republican nomination, he may decide to run as either an Independent or a third party candidate. He would still have absolutely no chance of being elected, but he would steal a certain percentage of votes form the Republican nominee (Mitt Romney or Newt Gingrich) thereby helping Barack Obama to win the general election.

Do the right thing Mr. Paul.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

“Piano Man” song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dBC6IVP-C84

TEA BAGGING MEN (RON PAUL VERSION)

(sung to the Billy Joel song “Piano Man”)

It’s nine o’clock on a Saturday
Rand Paul comes marching in
A proud member of the Tea Party
Like so many white racist men

He says, “Boy you know that I’m from Kentucky
And I think that Obama blows
It was sad and back-street how he chastised BP
Just because their damn oil rigs explode”

La la la, di da da
La la, di di da da dum

Sing us a song you Tea-Bagging men
Sing us a song tonight
Give us some patriotic imagery
Tri-corn hats and a wig that’s too tight

Now Sarah Palin is no friend of mine
Thank God she’s not the VP
Yes she looked like a dope every time she misspoke
As McCain claimed she was “mavericky”

She says, “Why does the press keep on grilling me?”
As her smile runs away from her face
“Can’t they see I’m a tabloid-bred superstar,
Though I quit my job in disgrace?”

Oh, la la la, di da da
La la, di da da da dum

Ron Paul is a right-wing apologist
He is anti-gay and pro-life
Grasp of history’s hazy and he’s moon-bat crazy
Ron Paul should be confined for life

And Scott Walker’s union-busting politics
Sparked a recall to get him de-throned
While Mike Huckabee thinks his “down-hominess”
Will coax liberals to leave him alone

Sing us a song you Tea-Bagging men
Sing us a song tonight
Give us some patriotic imagery
Tri-corn hats and a wig that’s too tight

Had a pretty big crowd just last Saturday
With the Tea Baggers dressed in high style
They were at a rally with signs misspelled badly
To express ignorance all the while

And the town common, it looks like a carnival
With the Tea Baggers from far and near
They unload from their cars lots of feathers and tar
As they fan flames of hatred and fear!

Oh, la la la, di da da
La la, di da da da dum

Sing us your song you Tea Bagging men
Sing us your song tonight
Cuz we’re all in the mood for a melody
Sung by folks that are old, dumb and white

(fade into extinction)

Glenn Beck Is A Victim Of George Soros-Influenced Fox News!

Think about this for a moment. When was the last time that you heard anything at all about Glenn Beck?

For me, it was last week when during the Boston Bruins White House ceremony, it was revealed that goaltender Tim Thomas had skipped the event because he is a Tea Party member and big fan of Glenn Beck. Upon hearing mention of Beck it dawned on me that this once uber-popular crackpot has essentially evaporated and wafted away from the public consciousness.

Glenn Beck of course, was the one-time widely popular (with idiots) Fox News personality who quickly rose to stardom before flaming out of existence. During its run, Beck’s show focused primarily on criticizing President Barack Obama. It is interesting to note that the program debuted on Fox News the day before President Obama took office It is also ironic to note that Obama will retain his position at the very least through 2012 while Beck is long gone from Fox. That alone shows that Beck’s program was a massive “Mission Unaccomplished”. In fact, Glenn Beck’s steady fall from grace began in 2009 when he proclaimed that President Barack Obama has a “deep-seated hatred for white people”. That remark caused such a public backlash that over 300 advertisers pulled their commercials from his program.

Soon thereafter, Beck, the self-described rodeo clown, began to describe wacky conspiracies involving socialists, communists, leftists and Muslims all joining forces to infiltrate the Obama administration and then take down the world. Honestly, even Austin Powers’ arch enemy, the sinister Dr. Evil, could not come up with something that devilish. It appeared that he was having a mental breakdown on a nightly basis before our very eyes. He was reduced to tears more often than John Boehner. His television stage-set resembled the hidden-away attic classroom of an addle-minded professor who has been reduced to spewing unintelligible gibberish and writing inane code on a blackboard in a near empty classroom. His conspiracy theories were so wildly imaginative and unrealistic that even the other Fox hosts such as Bill O’Reilly and Sean Hannity steered well clear of all things Beckian. Simply stated, Glenn Beck had become a raving lunatic and a liability to Fox News.

Fox executives should have realized that Beck spelled trouble from the very beginning. He has no formal education or work experience in the world of politics. Glenn Beck’s college career consisted of ONE COURSE, not one semester mind you, but one course. His radio background consisted of merely a bunch of shock-jock jobs with a number of different stations. Add to that his history of alcohol and drug abuse, and you have a recipe for some kind of on-air nervous breakdown. That is exactly what we and Beck’s bosses and audience witnessed.

Consequently, Glenn Beck’s Fox News show was abruptly cancelled. On his last broadcast he said, “You will pray for the time when I was only on the air for one hour every day.” Apparently our prayers have been answered. Beck has been nowhere to be found since leaving Fox.

The tiny little audience that followed Beck to his new internet-based program must have also realized that he has become invisible. They are now trying to influence Fox News to put him back on the network. The means by which they are trying to accomplish their goal however, seems a bit…well…Beckian. You see, this group believes that the root of all evil, George Soros has actually infiltrated News Corp (the Fox News parent company) and orchestrated the demise of Glenn Beck. Really. I’m not making this stuff up.

Mediaite.com reports that conservative activist Cliff Kincaid of America’s Survival has launched a call for Fox News to bring back Glenn Beck. “Fox News has been disintegrating since Soros-funded groups forced Glenn Beck off the air,” declared Kincaid. “His show was replaced by a program featuring Democratic Party hack Bob Beckel, who regularly insults conservatives. It’s time for Glenn Beck, now on Internet TV, to return to the cable channel so that he can continue his investigative journalism into the rapidly expanding influence of the Soros network of organizations. We urge Fox News CEO Roger Ailes to negotiate Beck’s return at the earliest possible date.”

Fox News is a liberal arm of George Soros? Really? Sounds like something only Beck could come up with. Ah Glenn Beck, we hardly knew ye!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

The Fool On The Hill song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3KXrrh74wTs&feature=related

THE FOOL WHO KNOWS NIL

(sung to the Beatles song, “The Fool On The Hill”)

Day after day
He gives us a chill
Glenn Beck is crying again
Let’s watch his eyes start to fill

And nobody wants to know him
They can see that he’s just a fool
And he has not one good answer
Beck’s the fool who knows nil

George Soros stares him down
And Glenn’s face grows bright red
As his head spins around

Glenn’s head today,
Filled up with sound
Beck’s head hears a thousand voices
Screaming nonsense so loud

Everybody wants to jeer him
For the weeping that he does fake
Yet Glenn never seems to notice
Beck’s the fool who knows nil

He’s a dim-witted clown
In need of some strong meds
Beck’s off to crazy-town

(break with reality)

And nobody seems to like him
It looks like he’s back on the booze
Or maybe he’s back drug dealing
Beck’s the fool who knows nil

He’s beginning to drown
And his sponsors have fled
Soon he’ll be not around

Oh, round, an’ round, an’ round, an’ round, an’ round
Nobody listens to him
They know that he’s a fool
They don’t like him
The fool who knows nil

He’s beginning to drown
And his sponsors have fled
Soon he’ll be not around

Oh, round, an’ round, an’ round, an’ round
Oh …

Is Romney Dishonest, Stupid or Both?

Mitt Romney is a man who is accustomed to having it both ways. He has flip-flopped on issue positions such as abortion, gun rights, immigration and personal mandates for health insurance so frequently that nobody knows what he believes. He is also one of the very privileged top 1% of this nation’s wealth hierarchy who makes substantially more money than 99% of Americans while he pays a tax rate commensurate with someone who earns less than $ 50,000 per year. Mitt(wit) Romney is truly a two-way street.

We got another dose of “Double-Talk Mitt” during last night’s Republican debate in Florida. Moderator Wolf Blitzer asked Romney, “You’ve had an ad running saying that Speaker Gingrich called Spanish – quote – ‘The language of the ghetto.’ What do you mean by that?”

Romney’s answer was one of the most confusing, convoluted, non-responsive bits of gibberish that we have heard in a long time. He said,

“I haven’t seen the ad, so I’m sorry, I don’t get to see all the TV ads. Did he say that? Did you say that? I doubt that’s my ad, but we’ll take a look and find out…Let me ask the speaker a question. Did you say what the ad says or not? I don’t know.”

Unfortunately for Romney, he was not given the opportunity to “take a look and find out”. Blitzer immediately performed a fact-check and informed Romney that “We did double check. It is one of your ads. it’s running here in Florida on the radio and at the end you say (in Spanish) ‘I’m Mitt Romney and I approve this message'”. The crowd then immediately burst into a loud round of “booing” Mitt Romney.

Is Mitt Romney dishonest, stupid or both? Did he intentionally mislead the debate audience when he said, “I doubt that’s my ad”? This seems plausible inasmuch as he obviously took the time to learn how to say in Spanish, “I’m Mitt Romney and I approve this message”. He also had that approval inserted at the end of the ad. Maybe Mitt Romney is just stupid however. Perhaps he agreed to placing his stamp of approval on an ad which he never even took the time to review beforehand. Maybe Romney just has a very poor memory and could not recall producing the ad in question. Whatever the true answer may be, it does not reflect kindly upon a man who wants to be President of the United States of America. Our nation deserves much more from our Chief Executive.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody. Please enjoy!

The Great Pretender song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rwfmbXJEBtY&ob=av2n

MITT IS THE GREAT PRETENDER

(sung to The Platters song “The Great Pretender”)

Oh yes, Mitt’s the great pretender
Pretending that he is so swell
His needs are such; he pretends too much
The truth he simply cannot tell

Oh yes, Mitt’s the great pretender
Romney’s true beliefs are unknown
Mitt plays the game; flip-flops without shame
With no firm beliefs of his own

He was pro-choice he had us all believe
But when he faced strife, he switched up to pro-life

Oh yes, Mitt’s the great pretender
His opinion changes by town
Mitt claims to be what he’s not; you see
He wears his deceit like a crown
Romney is a flip-flopping clown

In Mass., health reform was what he achieved
He now says he feels health reform needs repeal

Yes, Mitt’s the great pretender
Just switching positions around
Ol’ Mitt Romney is not what you see
He wears his deceit like a crown
Romney is a flip-flopping clown

Gingich Gets Caught In Latest Lie About His “Open” Marriage!!!

Republican presidential candidate and serial-adulterer Newt Gingrich got caught in yet another lie this week.

Gingrich considers himself to be an historian and he certainly has a long personal history of lying. He has falsely claimed to have been hired as an historian and paid $1.6 million by Govt.-backed mortgage giant Freddie Mac when in fact, he was paid to further the entity’s legislative agenda (better known as lobbying). He has falsely claimed that there have been no oil spills from offshore drilling near Santa Barbara, CA since 1969 when in fact there 2 such spills in 2008 alone. He has falsely claimed that Republican Governor Mitch Daniels of Indiana should be honored for having the lowest unemployment rate in his region when in fact, Indiana has does not have the lowest unemployment in its region and several states with lower unemployment rates were governed by Democrats.

Gingrich has recently been  falsely claiming that the economy is worse and  jobs have not been created since President Obama has been in office. This may be one of his biggest lies. The truth is that for the last several months prior to Obama’s election, the economy was losing between 600,000 and 800,00 jobs per month. Indeed, U.S. nonfarm employment stood at just more than 137 million jobs in July 2008, before the already-under-way recession turned into a nosedive following that September’s financial crisis. By January, when Obama took office, the figure had fallen to about 133.5 million — a loss of about 3.5 million jobs, according to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics and an additional 4.3 million jobs were lost before Obama’s stimulus policies took hold in February 2010. From that date onward however, the economy has added (not lost) jobs for 23 out of the last 24 months. Since that job growth resumed, the economy has added about 3 million jobs. Additionally, The gross domestic product, the prime measure of economic strength, shrank by a severe 6.8 percent annual rate before Obama became president. The declines eased after he took office and economic growth, however modest, has resumed. Also, the recession officially ended six months into Obama’s presidency. The facts prove that there is no denying that the economy has improved under Obama.

Gingrich’s latest lie concerns his second wife’s assertion that Newt wanted an “open” marriage with her so that he could continue carrying-on extra-marital sexual affairs with her blessing. Marianne Gingrich claimed in the ABC interview that her husband asked for an open marriage while he was having an extramarital affair with his current wife, Callista Gingrich. Gingrich said his former wife was lying and during the CNN-sponsored Republican debate in Florida he said,

“The story was false. Every personal friend I have who knew us in that period says the story is false. We offered several of them to ABC to prove it was false. They weren’t interested.”

A few days after that debate, during an interview on CNN, host John King pursued Gingrich’s allegation by stating that ABC News has insisted that no such witnesses were produced. Gingrich in turn, doubled down and said that ABC News‘ defense was “just plain baloney”. he went on to say,

“If they’re saying that, then they’re not being honest. We had several people prepared to be very clear and very aggressive in their dispute about that, and (ABC News) wasn’t interested.”

Gingrich’s statement was a lie. Yesterday his campaign conceded that the candidate was wrong, both in his debate answer and in his interview with CNN on Tuesday. R.C. Hammond, the campaign’s press secretary, told CNN the only people the campaign offered to ABC News were the speaker’s two daughters from his first wife who make regular appearances for their father on the campaign trail. Furthermore, the two daughters did not dispute the allegation that Gingrich requested an “open” marriage with his second wife, but only wrote a letter discouraging ABC  News to release the interview with her.

The only question remaining is, does Newt Gingrich have more extra-marital affairs or lies in his background? Enquiring minds want to know.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

I Am Woman song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MGMESM8JKOg

I AM GINGRICH

(sung to the Helen Reddy song “I Am Woman”)

I am Gingrich, hear me snore
The G.O.P. showed me the door
In ’98, I was thrown out on my rear end
‘cause I called for a class war
When Clinton dallied with that whore
So what if I also had a lady friend

Oh yes I’m despised
And I caused a lot of pain
I’ve been married thrice
And I will wed again
Remember, “Contract With America”
I was wrong (wrong)
Now I’m invisible (invisible)
I am Gingrich

Now I’ve shown you that I’m tasteless
By calling Sonia a racist
When I’m the guy that bloviates on ghettos
My lies will grow much stronger
And my nose will grow much longer
When I start to call Sotomayor a “Hoe”

Oh yes I’m despised
And I caused a lot of pain
I’ve been married thrice
And I will wed again
Remember, “Contract With America”
I was wrong (wrong)
Now I’m invisible (invisible)
I am Gingrich

I am Gingrich don’t you know
Democrats know that I blow
Fox News spreads my fat visage across the land
And I’ll use those embryos
And those nameless “baby does”
If it helps me to advance my final stand

Oh yes I’m despised
And I caused a lot of pain
I’ve been married thrice
And I will wed again
Remember, “Contract With America”
I am wrong (wrong)
And I’m invisible (invisible)
I am Gingrich
Oh, I am Gingrich
I am invisible
I am wrong

(Fading)
I am Gingrich
I am invisible
I am wrong
I am Gingrich

Obama Flies While Mitch Daniels Lies

As everybody knows, President Barack Obama delivered his third State of the Union Address last night. The speech consisted of a mixing of his administration’s accomplishments, its upcoming priorities, his direct challenge to Congress to get things done and his assurance that America is continuing to recover from its economic woes and will thrive as the result of his proposed policies.

The address opened with Obama describing the heroic efforts of the Navy Seals carrying forth his command to enter Pakistan and neutralize 9/11 mastermind Osama bin Laden. He said, “For the first time in two decades, Osama bin Laden is not a threat to this country.” He followed that by re-capping a long list of his policies such as health care reform, Wall Street reform, tax breaks to the working/middle class, the creation of the Consumer Financial Protection Agency, the saving of the automotive industry , the job-creating stimulus plan. He backed up his accomplishments by stressing the undeniable facts that the economy has added nearly 3.2 million private-sector jobs over the last 22 months, and American manufacturing is creating jobs for the first time since the late 1990s and that the American auto industry has added 100,000 jobs in the last year, and U.S. oil production is at the highest level in eight years.

Obama then moved on to a list of priorities to be tackled next. He proposed more clean energy development and the creation of a China Task Force to combat trade violations. He also proposed individual tax relief to the working/middle class while allowing the Bush tax cuts to expire for the wealthy who have profited most in the last several years. He repeated his longstanding call for the wealth to pay more in taxes, including a specific proposal for millionaires to have a tax rate of 30%. He proposed an administrative order to  mortgage lenders to ease restrictions which would allow homeowners to refinance at today’s historically low interest rates and he called for enhanced education and job training initiatives.

Obama then placed pressure directly on the Republican controlled House of Representatives. He informed Americans that Congressional obstructionism was preventing an economic recovery by means of blocking his initiatives. He adamantly stated, “I intend to fight obstruction with action, and I will oppose any effort to return to the very same policies that brought on this economic crisis in the first place.” With regard to extending the payroll tax cut for wage earners, Obama defiantly said, “Let’s agree right here, right now: No side issues. No drama. Pass the payroll tax cut without delay.”

He stole the thunder of Republicans by calling for lower corporate taxes but only for those businesses that bring jobs back to the United States. He called for ending tax subsidies to those businesses which continue to outsource jobs. He said, “Tonight, my message to business leaders is simple: Ask yourselves what you can do to bring jobs back to your country, and our country will do everything we can to help you succeed,”  He also said that every multinational company should pay a basic minimum tax, while giving American manufacturers a tax cut. He challenged Congress to send him a bill which accomplishes those things right away so that he can quickly sign it into law.

He also challenged Congress to act on comprehensive immigration reform, a major election-year issue for the important Hispanic-American vote. Short of a major overhaul, he called for legislation like the DREAM Act that provides children of illegal immigrants who go to college or serve in the military a path to possible citizenship. Again, he told Congress to send him a bill which accomplishes those things right away so that he can quickly sign it into law.

Obama went so far as to say that if Congress is unable or unwilling to advance his initiatives, he will not sit still. He said, “With or without this Congress, I will keep taking actions that help the economy grow.” He announced that via executive order, the Defense Department will make history’s largest renewable energy purchase — totaling 1 gigawatt. He also announced that his administration is announcing the opening of new off-shore oil fields.

Obama concluded by saying, “The nation is great because we get each other’s backs. And if we hold fast to that truth, in this moment of trial, there is no challenge too great, no mission too hard. As long as we’re joined in common purpose, as long as we maintain our common resolve, our journey moves forward, our future is hopeful, and the state of our Union will always be strong.”

In contrast to the President’s fact-laden address, the Republican rebuttal was (as usual) comprised of misinformation, deception, a lack of any specific proposals and at least one pure and outright lies. The rebuttal was delivered by Indiana governor Mitch Daniels in an empty museum building which was symbolic of his statement’s empty rhetoric. Daniels was somewhat of an odd choice for the GOP inasmuch as Indiana’s unemployment rate has climbed higher than the national average. His opposition to the auto rescue could have cost Indiana more than 147,000 jobs and he has completely flip-flopped on right-to-work legislation.

Daniels opened with a whopper of a lie. he said, “The President did not cause the economic and fiscal crises that continue in America tonight. But he was elected on a promise to fix them, and he cannot claim that the last three years have made things anything but worse.” The truth is that for the last several months prior to Obama’s election, the economy was losing between 600,000 and 800,00 jobs per month. Indeed, U.S. nonfarm employment stood at just more than 137 million jobs in July 2008, before the already-under-way recession turned into a nosedive following that September’s financial crisis. By January, when Obama took office, the figure had fallen to about 133.5 million — a loss of about 3.5 million jobs, according to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics and an additional 4.3 million jobs were lost before Obama’s stimulus policies took hold in February 2010. From that date onward however, the economy has added (not lost) jobs for 23 out of the last 24 months. Since that job growth resumed, the economy has added about 3 million jobs. Additionally, The gross domestic product, the prime measure of economic strength, shrank by a severe 6.8 percent annual rate before Obama became president. The declines eased after he took office and economic growth, however modest, has resumed. Also, the recession officially ended six months into Obama’s presidency. The facts prove that there is no denying that the economy has improved under Obama.

Daniels lied yet again when he said “The late Steve Jobs – what a fitting name he had – created more of them than all those stimulus dollars the President borrowed and blew.” The truth is that Apple employs only about 60,000 workers, according to its filings with the Securities and Exchange Commission. As just stated above, the Bureau of Labor Statistics confirms that since the Stimulus policies came into full effect, the economy has added about 3 million jobs.

The Republicans’ alternative plan for economic recovery was explained by Daniels as follows: “So 2012 is a year of true opportunity, maybe our last, to restore an America of hope and upward mobility, and greater equality. The challenges aren’t matters of ideology, or party preference; the problems are simply mathematical, and the answers are purely practical.” Did Daniels go on to define or explain exactly what he characterized as these “mathematical problems”? Nope! Did he define or explain the Republicans’ “purely practical” solutions? Nope! Nada! Nothing! Not even one single specific policy proposal.

Bottom line: Obama soared last night while Daniels and the Republicans took a nose dive.

Today’s song parody takes a rapid-fire look at Republicans past, present and future. Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.

We Didn’t Start The Fire song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eFTLKWw542g&ob=av2e

WE DIDN’T START THE LYING

(sung to the Billy Joel song “We Didn’t Start The Fire”)

Ronald Reagan, Larry Craig, Mark Sanford, Tom Delay
Michelle Malkin, Michele Bachmann, “Goin’ with the flow”

Joe McCarthy, Richard Nixon, Howard Baker, lack of vision
Spreading Fear, Acting queer, and ole Sixpack Joe

No icebergs, H-Bomb, “Pay for play”, “Hockey Mom”
Landrieu, Hamid Karzai, and that Michael Savage guy

Ivy tower, Van Flein, Tea-bagger party scene
Party of “No”, Tim Pawlenty, Let’s watch Glenn Beck cry

These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it

Vitter’s fallin’, Ginny Foxx, Boehner and Inhofe
Mitch McConnell, small umbrella, Talking the talk

Spin Zone, Rent to own, Straight martini, Bank loan
Russian view and Pastor Haggard’s flock

Sex crimes, Grassley, John McCain is “Mavericky”
Lining pockets, health care plan, Giuliani, Limbaugh Land

Barrasso, Fake protest, Tom “The Hammer”, Chambliss
Senate race, Lack of grace, and Melvin Martinez

These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it

Loaded Glock, SarahPAC, Sam Alito, Johnny Mack
Jindal, Right to die, Tripp’s father is Levi

Pentagon, Border wall, We must deport them all
Bed-wetters, genocide, No assisted suicide

Bush’s folly, Torture, Dick Cheney, Blackwater
Hate groups, Castro, John Ensign and his ‘ho

First Dude, Hannity, Mann Coulter and O’Reilly
Scooter Libby, Karl Rove, Sarah Palin’s “Sixpack Joes”

These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it

Kay Bailey, Muslims, K Street is full of bums
Villains, Pearlman, Iraqi Invasion

Health reform hysteria, Sarah Palin mania
Shameless G-Men, War in Afghanistan

Ron Paul, Airport sex, They don’t want no litmus test
Kneel and pray, Always “nay”, Can’t get married if you’re gay

These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it

Birth control, Lives of sin, They like folks that have white skin
Buckshot, Dow stock, Loud mouthed chicken-hawks
Takin’ Bacon, Palestine, Palin is no friend of mine
Now they have nukes in Iran, Couldn’t stop the Taliban

Makin’ fortunes, Soldiers die, Did we mention Glenn Beck cried?
Foreign debts, Homeless vets, Exposed by three jets
We voted them out the door, Now they’re just a mouse that roars
Spider holes and unjust wars, I can’t take them anymore.

These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it
(repeat chorus to fade)

Mitt(wit) Romney and the Taxman

Mitt Romney is continuing his flip-flopping ways.

Shortly after announcing his candidacy for President, Republican Mitt Romney declared that he would not release his tax returns for inspection by the electorate (not to mention his opponents and the media). Then, after facing criticism from his GOP opponents and the media, he flip-flopped and said that he would only release tax returns in April when he was the Republican nominee. Unfortunately for the multimillionaire Romney, last week he let it slip that he thinks he only pays a 15% effective tax rate. Inasmuch as the vast number of working/middle class wage earners pay a much higher tax percentage according to the income tax marginal brackets, the heat was turned up on Romney to release his tax returns immediately. Average Americans wanted to know if our tax system is so unfair that the wealthy benefit while the ordinary (not very wealthy) wage earner is penalized. Next it was revealed that Romney stashes tens of millions of dollars in offshore Cayman Island accounts and thereby deprives our nation of tax dollars while less affluent Americans bear the burden of paying their full share of taxes. Consequently, as a result of added pressure, Mitt Romney flip-flopped yet again and decided to release his 2010 and estimated 2011 tax returns on Tuesday of this week.

The returns show that Mitt and Ann Romney, who are worth from $190 million to $250 million, earned $21.7 million in 2010 and paid a 13.9 percent tax rate, lower than that of a person earning $50,000. The 2011 estimates show an income of $20.9 million, with the couple paying a tax rate of 15.4 percent, closer to the estimate that Romney gave but still substantially less than most average Americans pay. The Romneys’ income came entirely from investments, mostly from capital gains, which are taxed at a lower rate than other types of income including wages. We also learned that Romney not only stashed cash in the Cayman Islands, but also in other tax-avoiding venues such as Luxembourg and in those infamous Swiss bank accounts.

During a time when millions of average hard-working Americans are still suffering from the economic meltdown of 2008 and considering the fact that income inequality between the top 1% and the other 99% has been increasing at an astronomical rate, many believe an unfair tax system deserves much blame. Mitt Romney exemplifies the top 1%, and Americans want to see if he benefits from an unfair advantage. The Huffington Post adds that “Over the course of the 2012 primary campaign Romney has made a series of gaffes that have helped create a caricature of the candidate as an aloof plutocrat. He made a flippant $10,000 bet during a televised debate. He emphatically declared to a crowd in Iowa that “corporations are people.” In a statement that has been somewhat taken out of context, Romney declared, “I like being able to fire people who provide services to me.” When announcing that he had an estimated 15 percent tax rate, Romney glossed over the $374,327 he earned in speaking fees as “not very much.”

Did Romney’s release of his 2010 and estimated 2011 tax returns ease the nation’s suspicion of an unfair tax code which benefits the rich while punishing the less affluent? Not at all. It magnified the fact that the rich (who earn virtually all of their income by means of capital gains, dividends and private equity fees) pay a much lower percentage of those earnings in taxes than do average working/middle class Americans (who earn their income via wages) and are taxed at much higher marginal rates. Also, inasmuch as a large number of average wage earners live pay-check to pay-check and have very little excess money to invest, they are barred from taking advantage of the low capital gains and dividend rates that the wealthy enjoy. This state of affairs does not (and should not) sit well with many people.

To add insult to the tax-paying injury of average Americans, Mitt Romney’s proposed tax plan would not increase the tax burden on the super wealthy to level the playing field. Instead of raising the 15% tax on capital gains etc. which Romney and his rich friends pay, Romney’s plan would keep that tax at the present low level but reduce the capital gains tax for middle class Americans to zero. Problem is, inasmuch as most average Americans do not earn very much (if anything) by means of capital gains, they would benefit very little (if at all) from Romney’s plan while the rich would continue to have an unfair advantage. Romney’s tax plan is just smoke and mirrors.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Taxman song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZqK97av7I3s

TAXSCAM

 (sung to The Beatles song “Taxman”)

Let me tell you
‘Bout Mitt Romney
He just pays 2
While you pay 3

Mitt loves a tax scam
Yeah, Mitt’s the taxman

Fifteen percent
Is much too small
Be thankful that Mitt
Pays at all

Mitt loves a tax scam
Yeah, Mitt’s the taxman

He won’t pay a tax
To fix the street;
Don’t you know that Mitt
Is a tax cheat?
Now that truth’s been told
He’ll face some heat
But if Romney talks
He will be beat
(Tax Scam)

(tax break)

Mitt loves a tax scam
Yeah, Mitt’s the taxman

He hides his pay out there offshore
(Ha Ha Mr. Willard runs)
Cuz Mitt don’t want to pay some more
(Ah Ha! He’s a cheat)
Mitt loves a tax scam
Yeah, Mitt’s the taxman

How Mitt avoids tax rates too high
(Tax Scam)
Declares just pennies with his lies
(Tax Scam)
Mitt loves a tax scam
Yeah, Mitt’s the taxman
And we’re working for no one but he
(Tax Scam)

Carville Carves Up Republican Presidential Candidates

Sometimes you must honestly admit that someone else has addressed a topic in a far better than you could have done yourself. Such is the case for me today.

On Saturday, Democratic strategist James Carville wrote a column which was posted on the CNN website here. It is titled “Carville to GOP: You have a disaster on your hands” and it is a gem. It colorfully describes the mess that is the field of Republican Presidential candidates. Here are some of my favorite excerpts:

“I mean, most people thought it was kind of a watermark when your Tea Party gang booed the golden rule (at the Fox Debate). You know, I’ve spent some time in Philly and they have always thought they were pretty radical because they actually booed Santa Claus and Willie Mays. Philly, I’ve got news for you — you ain’t got nothing on South Carolina Republicans. They just aren’t buying any of that do-unto-others garbage.”

Here is another beauty:

“I actually thought my favorite moment of this delightful process was when one of your eight front-runners, Herb Cain, (as Sarah Palin calls him) actually ran an ad with his campaign manager endorsing him. (Rove, why didn’t you think of that in 2000? Imagine the headline: “Rove endorses Bush.”)”

This sums up Mitt Romney’s campaign pretty well:

“At any rate, let’s talk a minute about Mitt. He was your guy — he was methodical, meticulous, married once. He has completely blown himself up over an issue that everyone knew was coming. Have you had a chance to look at John McCain’s research operation on Mitt? Wow. And let me assure you, that thing has been supplemented, expanded, and annotated. God only knows about the Obama people — they’ve got a billion dollars! And how about my friends over at American Bridge, the Democrat-leaning political action committee? Clearly Mitt is merely in the beginning of this tax-return, financial-disclosure, Cayman Island (and God only knows what else) fiasco.”

This is what he had to say about Newt Gingrich:

“Your new front-runner is one of your old front runners, Newt Gingrich. I would like to take a moment to revel: I cannot personally tell you how pleased I am to see old Newt rise to the top after listening to all of your nauseating, sickening lectures on the evils of government and the importance of family values.Now, you guys have to deal with a $1.6 million Freddie Mac consultant (who says he wasn’t a lobbyist) who has been married three times. Hope you, at least, enjoy the Super Bowl. It could be your last hurrah for a while.”

Finally, he concluded with this:

“PS — As my former boss once said, I feel your pain. That’s why I didn’t mention Rick Perry.”

Bravo Mr. Carville! Priceless stuff!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

“All Together Now” song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LtjhW-ERoak

ALL TOGETHER NOW

 (sung to the Beatles song “All Together Now”)

One, two, three, four
Rick Perry’s a Texan whore
Five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten I loathe you

A, B, C, D
Bachmann’s drinking too much tea
E, F, G, H, I, J I loathe you

Boom, bam, boom
Boom, bam, boom

Mitt’s a dip
Boom, bam, boom
Newt’s crazy
Boom, bam, boom
Paul’s a dope
Boom, bam, boom
Where’s Christie?

All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now

Black, white, green, red
Listen to what Herm Cain said
Pink, brown, yellow, orange and blue I loathe you

All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now

Rick’s a twit
Boom, bam, boom
Jon’s a dweeb
Boom, bam, boom
Not a hope
Boom, bam, boom
Nobodies!

All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now
All together now….

Sarah Palin Is Gingrich’s Newest Mistress!

The Christmas season may be over but progressive bloggers just received another present. Lo and behold, Sarah Palin has reemerged (no word on whether or not she saw her shadow).

Just prior to the Republican South Carolina primary election (and dutifully following in the footsteps of husband Todd “First Dude” Palin), Sarah Palin has endorsed Newt “3 Wives” Gingrich. She did so while appearing on Sean Hannity’s Fox News show (where else?). When Hannity asked Palin if she would endorse Gingrich she said, “If I had to vote in South Carolina, in order to keep this thing going, I’d vote for Newt.”

The next day after receiving Palin’s endorsement, the serial-philandering Newt Gingrich made an announcement and promise of his very own. While appearing on CNN‘s Wolf Blitzer show (what? Not Fox?), Gingrich was asked whether he would consider naming Sarah Palin his Vice Presidential running mate in light of her endorsement. Gingrich replied as follows: “I would ask her to consider taking a major role in the next administration if I’m president…”.

A “major role” in a Presidential administration generally means a cabinet appointment. Can you imagine the likes of Sarah Palin having a cabinet position? Yikes! What particular position might that be?

Secretary of State:  Nope. Palin believes that North Korea is our ally;

Secretary of Defense:  Nope. Palin has a “trigger finger” as demonstrated on her reality television show;

Secretary of Labor:  Not a chance. There are too many questions surrounding her own labor while carrying her fifth child.

Secretary of Transportation:  Nope. An in-depth knowledge of the working of snow-machines is not a qualification;

Secretary of Agriculture:  Nope. Not much agriculture in the snowy wilds of Alaska;

Secretary of Education:  Nope. Palin is shockingly unqualified for this position inasmuch as it took her 6 years and 5 different colleges to earn a mere bachelor’s degree. Also, have you ever heard her try to speak? Her unfamiliarity with American history was on display when she said that Paul Revere was warning the British by means of firing musket shots and ringing bells on his famous “Midnight Ride”;

Secretary of Energy: “Drill Baby, Drill” – No Chance;

Secretary of Housing and Urban Development:  Nope. Palin has never been in an urban area for any period of time and have you noticed the lack of building codes in Alaska? If not, go to the beautiful City of Wasilla sometime;

Secretary of Health and Human Services:  Nope. I refer you to the aforementioned wild plane rides while in labor with her 5th child;

Secretary of Veterans Affairs:  Nope. She has a publicly stated hatred for entitlements of all kinds;

Secretary of Commerce:  Nope. she played too loose and fast with her own PAC’s funds and she charged the taxpayers of Alaska for all those plane trips and hotels enjoyed by her children. Don’t forget all those expensive RNC-purchased clothes that she never returned;

Secretary of Homeland Security:  Nope. Palin mistakenly thinks that when “Putin raises his head and enters U.S. airspace”, he does so over Alaska;

Secretary of Treasury:  Nope. See Secretary of Commerce;

Attorney General: Nope. She is not qualified to be an attorney; and

UN Ambassador:  God help us!

Perhaps Newt Gingrich should simply consider appointing Sarah Palin to the only secretary position she is qualified for. She spends so much time on Facebook and Twitter, that she would be an excellent data entry clerk in the general secretarial pool.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Copacabana song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JMHp9a5FwrI

COPACAVILLA

(sung to the Barry Manilow song “Copacabana”)

Her name was Sarah, She was a schoolgirl
With lots of style gel in her hair and a dress cut down to there
She used to play flute, and she was Todd’s type
And yes she was a sportscaster, a job that she could not master
Although she was a pup, with Todd she got knocked-up
They were young and they had each other
Just a mere hiccup

At the Copa, Copacavilla
The hottest spot north of Wasilla
At the Copa, Copacavilla
Those rimless glasses made them look like asses
At the Copa…they fell in love

(Copa Copacavilla)

His name was Toddie, she liked his body
They got married one fine day, He insisted he’s not gay
They said a prayer, then she was mayor
But to add some attitude, she changed his name to the “First Dude”
Sarah then hired some crooks, and then she banned some books
There was trouble with city contracts
So they cooked the books

At the Copa, Copacavilla
The hottest spot north of Wasilla
At the Copa, Copacavilla
Handouts and kickbacks and lots of “Joe Sixpacks”
At the Copa…next it was Guv

(Copa..Copacavilla)
(Copa Copacavilla) (Copacavilla, ahh ahh ahh ahh)
(Ahh ahh ahh ahh Copa Copacavilla)
(Wasilla,  rhymes with vanilla)
(Dumbness and fashion… were always her passion)

Her name is Sarah, she is the Guv’nor
She even tried to be V.P.,  cuz she was so damn “Mavericky”
That was a pipedream for our gal, Sarah
The job was above her pay-grade. More substance in lemonade
Her inlaw getting high. Now she just hates Levi
She lost the race and she lost her mojo
Now she’s lost her mind!

At the Copa (CO), Copacavilla (Copacavilla)
The hottest spot north of Wasilla (Here)
At the Copa (CO), Copacavilla
No education. Unwed procreation
At the Copa…That’s our dear Guv

(Copa) That’s our dear Guv
Copacavilla
Copacavilla
(Fade to end)

Rick Perry Exits Stage Right…Very Far Right

The insane asylum that is the field of Republican Presidential candidates is losing patients at an increasing rate. By quitting the race, Tim Pawlenty, Herman Cain, Michele Bachmann and Jon Huntsman have all demonstrated vast improvement in their ability to separate reality from fantasy. Those candidates have all made substantial progress by finally realizing that it was only fantasy to consider themselves qualified contenders for the presidency. They eventually accepted the reality that they are unelectable clowns and their quitting served to release them from the confines of false illusion.

Yesterday, Rick Perry joined them on the road to recovery. He too has now quit the race.

Rick Perry in fact, may have been the most delusional of all the clowns beneath The Koch Bros. and Tea Baggers Flying Republican Circus Big Top. This Texan’s ten gallon hat was filled with ten gallons of dumb. Take for example, his bizarre stump speech antics in New Hampshire. His speech was slurred. He made crazy faces. He made odd references. Often times he made no sense at all. It appeared that he was either drunk or overly medicated. It was sad to see a potential Presidential nominee in this condition. It was even more tragic to think that a person such as this could aspire to occupy the highest office in the United States.

Things got even worse at the Republican debate which followed. Perry made a fool of himself in front of his GOP opponents, the moderators, the live audience and the television audience. The Texas Governor was asked a question about his tax and spending plan — but completely blew the answer by looking like a complete fool. Perry was listing the three Cabinet agencies he wants to abolish — and forgot the third one. Remember how it transpired?

• Perry:  And I will tell you it is three agencies of government when i get there that are gone. Commerce, Education, and the — what’s the third one there? Let’s see…Okay. Commerce, Education, and the —”
• Romney:  EPA?
• Perry:  EPA, there you go.
• Moderator:  Seriously, is EPA the one you are talking about?
• Perry:  No sir, no, sir. We are talking about the  – agencies of government – EPA needs to be rebuilt.
• Moderator:  You can’t – you can’t name the third one?
• Perry:  The third agency of government I would – I would do away with education, the Commerce…Commerce and, let’s see. I can’t. The third one, I can’t. Sorry. Oops.

It is hard to believe, but things got even worse for Rick Perry after those fumbles. While speaking to a group of students in New Hampshire, Perry misinformed his young audience that the voting age is 21 (it is 18). He also told them to vote on November 12, 2012 which is not the day of the election (it is November 6th). Then, after finishing embarrassingly low in the Iowa Caucuses, he lurched very far to the right and announced that he changed his position on abortion. He was now against abortion in all cases, even in the case of rape or incest.

Another poor showing in the New Hampshire primary sealed Perry’s fate. He has now joined the quitting team of Pawlenty, Cain, Bachmann and Huntsman.

And then there were four. The remaining lunatics are Newt “Open Marriage” Gingrich, Mitt “15%” Romney, Rick “Man on Dog” Santorum and Ron “Racist” Paul. As soon as Paul quits, America can rest assured that in 2012 there will be “No New Texans”!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Come Monday song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x_lL046m1Is

DUMB PERRY

 (sung to the Jimmy Buffett song “Come Monday”)

Heading out from ol’ El Paso
For campaignin’ and making dough
Rick’s got his ten-gallon on
He’s got his Colt 45, now he can lock and load

And Romney, he didn’t know
That he’d be trailing his foe
Dumb Perry, he’s not too bright
Dumb Perry, way out there on the right
He spends day after day in a tongue-twisted haze
And his “Ponzi Scheme” charge was a lie

Yes, Rick Perry is a bummer
Simple talk and lack of brains
And he wants to lead our nation
Some things are hard to explain

His state’s unemployment rolls grow
Its graduation rates are so low
Dumb Perry, he’s not too bright
Dumb Perry, way out there on the right
An academic haze back in his college days
His degree should have just been denied

Trouble raisin’ money
A hay-chewin’ dumb redneck cow
He’ll get the white vote in Montana
Cuz cowboys love him without a doubt

Rick craves Pennsylvania Ave. scenery
Those gals have nice smellin’ hair
He’ll love bowling on Tuesdays
Not to mention his gubmint health care

San Antonio has worn Rick quite thin
He’ll take care of his oil-drillin’ friends
Dumb Perry, he’s not too bright
Dumb Perry, way out there on the right
He spends day after day in a tongue-twisted haze
And his “Ponzi Scheme” charge was a lie
He spends day after day in a tongue-twisted haze
And his “Ponzi Scheme” charge was a lie

Rush Limbaugh Is Not A Fine Human Being, A Decent Person Or An Average American

The idiotic Rush Limbaugh sunk to a new low on his radio show yesterday. During a misinformative tirade, he said that neither President Obama nor First Lady Michelle Obama are a “fine human being”, “a decent person” or an “average American”.

Has Limbaugh looked in the mirror? Does this uneducated, drug-addicted, racist who has been married four times consider himself to be a “fine human being”, “a decent person” or an “average American”? Shall we take a little look at Rush Limbaugh and the events of his sterling life?

Rush Limbaugh flunked out of Southeast Missouri State University after only two semesters and one summer session. To date, he has no college degree. According to his mother, “he flunked everything”.

Limbaugh has been married four times. His marriages have lasted four years, seven years, ten years and one year (and counting) in successive order.

Limbaugh has publicly condemned illegal drug use for a long time. On his television program he said that “Drug use, some might say, is destroying this country. And we have laws against selling drugs, pushing drugs, using drugs, importing drugs. … And so if people are violating the law by doing drugs, they ought to be accused and they ought to be convicted and they ought to be sent up.”

Of course he said those things before he was exposed as being a drug addict.  On October 3, 2003 the National Enquirer reported that Limbaugh was being investigated for illegally obtaining the prescription drugs oxycodone and hydrocodone. Other news outlets quickly confirmed the investigation. He admitted to listeners on his radio show on October 10, 2003 that he was addicted to prescription painkillers and stated that he would enter inpatient treatment for 30 days, immediately after the broadcast. On April 28, 2006 a warrant was issued for his arrest on the charge of doctor shopping. According to Teri Barbera, spokeswoman for the Sheriff, during his arrest, Limbaugh was booked, photographed, and fingerprinted, but not handcuffed. He was then released after about an hour on $3,000 bail. After his surrender, he filed a “not guilty” plea to the charge. Prosecutors agreed to drop the charge if Limbaugh paid $30,000 to defray the cost of the investigation and completed an 18-month therapy regimen with his physician. Under the terms of the agreement, Limbaugh was prohibited from owning a firearm for eighteen months and must continue to submit to random drug testing. Later, in June 2006, Limbaugh was detained by drug enforcement agents at Palm Beach International Airport. Customs officials confiscated Viagra from Limbaugh’s luggage as he was returning from the Dominican Republic. The prescription was not in Limbaugh’s name.

Rush Limbaugh also appears to be a blatant racist. He resigned under pressure in 2003 after only a very brief stint co-hosting ESPN‘s “Sunday NFL Countdown”. This resulted from his on-air claim that quarterback Donovan McNabb was overrated because the media wanted to see a black quarterback succeed.  Later, he talked about football once again when he said, “Look, let me put it to you this way: the NFL all too often looks like a game between the Bloods and the Crips without any weapons”. Limbaugh also once referred to New York Yankees owner George Steinbrenner as a “cracker who made African-Americans millionaires”.  Remember when he said, “The NAACP should have riot rehearsal. They should get a liquor store and practice robberies”? How about when he told an African American female caller to his show to, “Take that bone out of your nose and call me back”? Limbaugh even played a song on his radio show titled “Barack the Magic Negro,” sung to the tune of “Puff the Magic Dragon”.

Taking all of the above into consideration, perhaps Rush Limbaugh’s most recent personal attacks against President Obama and first lady Michelle Obama are the finest example yet of the pot calling the kettle black.

Please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

The No No Song song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yi5ZB1ZZCEg

THE HO HO SONG

(sung to the Ringo Starr song “The No No Song”)

A doctor that I know just came from the pharmacy
He smiled at Rush and opened up his hand
Then he held out some Oxycontin tablets
He said they were the finest in the land

And Rush said, “Ho ho ho ho”
Do you have any more
My back is feeling really damn sore
If I say please
Can I have more of these
My habit has become really hardcore

A friend of Rush Limbo who wears a hat made of tin
Came on the show and opened up his hand
When he revealed twelve tablets of Vicodin
Rush was so happy he performed handstands

And Rush said, “Ho ho ho ho”
Do you have any more
I always come to you for a score
Without more of these
I’m in a cold-turkey freeze
And ditto-heads need someone to adore

(racist rant break)

A ditto-head I know said he could make organs grow
He smiled and said Rush would not need his hand
Then he gave him some blue Viagra pills, Oh
And said that things will rise upon command

And Rush said, “Ho ho ho ho”
Do you have any more
My love life has become such a chore
Please, pretty please
I’m flying overseas
The boys there like it when it hits the floor

Yes, Rush said, “Ho ho ho ho”
I just love the drug store
Painkillers, Viagra and much more
It’s such a tease
All of those varieties
I’ll grab a bunch and head right out the door.