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Sarah Palin Reincarnates Her Fictitious “Death Panels”

Don’t you miss those halcyon days when every morning we were treated to some new breaking story detailing the insane antics of Sarah Palin and her family? We were entertained on a near daily basis as Palin claimed she could see Russia or she created her own words such as “refudiate” or when she claimed that Paul Revere was ringing bells and firing musket shots to warn the British during his famous midnight ride. It was hilarious to watch her struggle to name a single newspaper or magazine which she reads, or to name a Supreme Court decision which she disagreed with or to incorrectly explain the function of the Vice President to a 5th grader. Who will ever forget when she abruptly quit her position as Governor of Alaska after having served only half a term and then jumped right into the respectable field of reality television?

Ahhh, those were the days. Unfortunately (for us) however, Sarah Palin’s entertainment value came to a screeching halt last November when she announced that she would not seek the Republican nomination for President of the United States. Not only were we denied a year’s worth of belly-ache-inducing laughs, but the late night television talk shows and tabloid newspapers were denied a steady source of material.

But wait!… What’s this?… We have breaking Palin news!

Thank the heavens above. It’s true. Sarah Palin has awakened from her slumber and dusted off one of her favorite old chestnuts just in time for the Supreme Court’s ruling on the constitutionality of the new health care law known as the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act.

Remember when PolitiFact.com deemed Sarah Palin’s  assertion that the new law provided for “death panels” the “Biggest Lie of 2009“? Well that has not dissuaded the stubborn Palin from asserting the same thing once again.

You will recall that Palin initially uttered the phrase “death panels” when she opposed “end of life counseling sessions” in which physicians would educate patients on such useful estate planning tools as Durable Powers of Attorney, Health Care Proxies and Advance Directives (known as “Living Wills” in some jurisdictions). When she was forced to acknowledge that a member of the Republican Party (Maine Senator Olympia Snowe) was the initial proponent of “end of life counseling sessions”, she began to apply the phrase differently. She began claiming that “death panels” are government bureaucrats or commissions that will decide whether to pay for a patient’s health care based upon health condition or age. Despite the fact that the new law provided no such panels at all, Palin also seemed to miss the point that under our old broken health care system, insurance adjusters could unilaterally decide whether to pay for a patient’s health care based upon any arbitrary reason.

As of yesterday, Sarah Palin jumped right back on the “Death Panel” Express as if the lie was never exposed in the first place. She took to Facebook and wrote,

“I stand by everything I wrote in that warning to my fellow Americans because what was true then is true now, and it will remain true as we hear what the Supreme Court has to say… Though I was called a liar for calling it like it is, many of these accusers finally saw that Obamacare did in fact create a panel of faceless bureaucrats who have the power to make life and death decisions about health care funding.”

The Los Angeles Times however, points out that “Such a system also, according to most health experts, exists only in the imagination of Palin and others who took up the phrase as a cudgel against the legislation, which ultimately passed with no Republican support and was signed into law by President Obama  in March 2010.”

CNN reports that presently, Palin is “specifically referring to the Independent Payment Advisory Board (IPAB), a proposed group that would recommend how to achieve Medicare savings though would not sit in judgment of individual patients’ treatment courses.”

Truth be damned! Sarah Palin has proved once again that she is either stupid or has a very short memory.

Let’s take a quick look at some of Palin’s greatest hits, shall we?

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

The Wreck Of The Edmund Fitzgerald song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6U219P_zs7w

THE WRECK OF THE SARAH L. PALIN (Version Two)

(sung to the Gordon Lightfoot song “The Wreck Of The Edmund Fitzgerald ”)

The legend lives on from the North Slope on down
To the town they call Sandpoint, Idaho
The Heath’s one would say, had a daughter that day
Why they kept her, I must say, “I don’t know”

They loaded up the truck and they tested their luck
When they moved to Wasilla, Alaska
Sarah enrolled in school and was nobody’s fool
On the court they called her “Barracuda”.

In 1982 she left for Honolulu
Off to Hawaii Pacific College
She did not last long there nor at anywhere
In her quest for some meaningful knowledge.

She finally did see a journalism degree
After stints at 5 or 6 safety schools
Sometime in between she was a pageant queen
Then she worked in TV for KTUU.

She met up with her fate sometime in ’88
When her TV career was a failin’
And everyone knew, as her parents did too
She would soon be the Bride of Todd Palin.

Long before she did wed, she conceived in his bed
That was the end of her abstinency
While laid out on her back, she gave birth to Lil’ Track
The result of an unwed pregnancy.

She was now in a lurch cuz of her right wing church
But she carried on without a care
She had a beehive hairdo, but had nothing to do
That all changed when she became the Mayor.

She appointed some crooks then she banned some good books
No one lasted if they weren’t on her team
Wasilla’s deficit grew, kids fired-up on homebrew
Not to mention the methamphetamine.

She became the next Guv and to show the state love
She proposed to unite remote shore banks
But once in a bind she politely declined
To the bridge she said,”Thanks but no thanks”.

John McCain now you see had to choose a VP
His campaign was certainly failin’
He wanted a she that was trés “mavericky”
So he chose Alaska’s Sarah Palin.

But poor press reviews of her live interviews
With Couric and Gibson oft replayed
Showed she could not spar with the nightly news stars
Let alone outperform Tina Fey

The election was lost and poor Sarah was tossed
From her seat on “The Straight Talk Express”
She went home and did pose in her new store-bought clothes
But  Alaskans were not now impressed

She’s no longer a saint due to ethics complaints
She has nobody left now to wink at
Her opinions ignored and her actions abhorred
“Hockey mom” once again is a rink rat

Her career was a blip, it was a sinking ship
Her supporters are jumpin’ and bailin’
Her character flaws became the final straw
For the wreck known as Sarah L. Palin


Palin’s Magical History Tour Continues…

Last call for the Palin Magical History Tour, All Aboard!

This is it folks. It appears that Sarah Palin’s family vacation/campaign tour/publicity stunt is coming to an end. The next to last stop took place yesterday in the cradle of our nation, Boston , Massachusetts. The former ex-quitting half-term governor of Alaska toured the Freedom Trail of historic sites and made stops at the Bunker Hill Monument (site of the Battle of Bunker Hill) and the Old North Church (place from which Paul Revere started his famous ride). The alleged “hockey mom” however, failed to make any mention of the city’s beloved Boston Bruins, who are presently competing in the Stanley Cup Finals. That is quite an oversight when one considers that most every historic statue (or as Palin would say, “statute”) in the city is presently adorned with a black and gold Bruins sweater.

Paul Revere statue

George Washington statue

and even the "Make Way For Ducklings" statues

While in Beantown, Palin could not however avoid celebrity impersonator (and Lynnrockets’ pal) Cecilia Thompson. The two came face to face in Boston’s historic North End neighborhood where they briefly hugged before Palin gave marching orders to her clone. She said, “Now you go to all these reporters and you speak for me”.

(Pat Greenhouse/Boston Globe Staff Photo)

Palin was also able to do what she does best while in Massachusetts. She ignited a war of words with former Massachusetts governor and current 2012 Republican presidential candidate, Mitt Romney. Although Palin lacks the courage to say whether she will run for the presidency, she is not shy about picking a fight with one of her potential (and dare we say, far better qualified) opponents. Not surprisingly, she criticized the health care reform law which Romney signed into law in Massachusetts and which served as the blueprint for our new national health reform law. The Boston Globe reports that while on Romney’s home turf, Palin told reporters “In my opinion, any mandate coming from government is not a good thing.” She went on to say that the law will be one of the reasons that it “will be a big challenge” for Romney to appeal to Tea Party supporters. “It’s tough for a lot of us independent Americans to accept [the mandate] because we have great faith in the private sector and our own families and our own business men and women making decisions for ourselves, not any level of government telling us what to do.’’

It was no coincidence that Sarah Palin planned her stop in Mitt Romney’s home state on the very day that Romney was in New Hampshire announcing his campaign for the presidency. It is also no coincidence that Palin’s final stop on her bus tour is in the very same New Hampshire which holds the nation’s first primary election. Would it not be swell if Palin and Romney cross paths in the Granite State? It would be interesting to hear what Romney might say about Palin’s “Bridge to Nowhere” or her “death panels” or her decision to quit her job as governor of Alaska after only two years. Oh, to be a fly on the wall.

In honor of the troops, please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the song parody.

Magic Bus song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bl9bvuAV-Ao

TRAGIC BUS

 (sung to The Who song “Magic Bus”)

Everyday she plays the big fool (Too much, the Tragic Bus)
She gets on the bus and begins to drool (Too much, the Tragic Bus)
She’s so nervous she just sits and smiles (Too much, the Tragic Bus)
Sarah Palin is racking-up those miles (Too much, the Tragic Bus)
She is Alaska’s “Mama Bear” (Too much, the Tragic Bus)
Sarah Palin spreads hate and fear (Too much, the Tragic Bus)
Piper’s there to whine and fuss (Too much, the Tragic Bus)
She’s not in school, she’s on the bus (Too much, the Tragic Bus)
Whoa!

It’s Gettysburg on Tuesday (Too much, the Tragic Bus)
She’s eating pizza with “The Donald” Wednesday (Too much, the Tragic Bus)

*[She wants it, She wants it, She wants it,
She wants it, She wants it, She wants it]

And she’ll have it!

*[She wants it, She wants it, She wants it]

She’s talking nonsense everyday
She don’t drive cuz she’s lazy
No interviews, she’s too afraid
She’s drinking lots of Tea Party Kool-Aid

Tragic Bus, Tragic Bus, Tragic Bus, Tragic Bus, Tragic Bus…
She wants the Tragic Bus, She wants the Tragic Bus, She wants the Tragic Bus…

I say soon she’ll be reduced to dust (Too much, the Tragic Bus)
Her history tour will be a bust (Too much, the Tragic Bus)
She drives us crazy everyday (Too much, the Tragic Bus)
Won’t Palin please just go away? (Too much, the Tragic Bus)

*[She wants it, She wants it, She wants it]

Soon she’ll be reduced to dust (Too much, the Tragic Bus)
She’s a crazy lady in her Tragic Bus (Too much, the Tragic Bus)

A Tale Of Two Governors: DP (Deval Patrick) and SP (Sarah Palin)

Sine the late summer of 2008, Americans have been subjected to a near constant barrage of all things, Sarah Palin. On an almost daily basis, we have been bombarded with her indecipherable diatribes elicited via Fox News, Facebook or Twitter. We have also been exposed to her ridiculous catch-phrases such as “Drill Baby, Drill”, “the lamestream media”, “death panels”, “mama grizzlies” and “Don’t retreat. RELOAD”. All the while, the ex-quitting, former half-term Governor of Alaska has contributed zero specific policy suggestions or provided any credible evidence that her radically conservative tax-cutting and unregulated free-market capitalism rhetoric would have any positive effect on the nation as a whole or its economy.

In contrast, we have Massachusetts Governor Deval Patrick. Indeed not only has Patrick served his entire first term, but upon his re-election last November, he said that he fully intends to complete his full second term in office. Despite being a close personal friend of President Barack Obama, Patrick has unselfishly flown under the radar of the media spotlight and governed his state quietly to a position of leadership in job creation, employment, health care and education. During his Governorship, Massachusetts has either led the nation or been amongst the top 5 five states in employment, job creation, student achievement in both national testing and graduation at the high school and college levels and in ensuring that 98% of its residents have full health care insurance coverage. He achieved all of that while also balancing his state’s budget and without stripping public unions and employees of their bargained-for rights.

As we have said so many times in the past however, a video clip is worth a thousand a words, so let watch both Sarah Palin and Deval Patrick in action.

Now let’s watch Deval Patrick from just this past week. Lynnrockets apologizes for not having the video appear directly in this post, but simply click on the link below to watch the clip in a new window.

http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/tue-april-12-2011/deval-patrick

Deval Patrick and his leadership style are just a breath of fresh air.

Note:

Lynnrockets will be in the fair city of Montreal for the next several days enjoying some R & R with a few longtime hockey buddies. The timing could not be better as the Boston Bruins are facing-off against the Montreal Canadiens in the first round of the NHL Playoffs. Problem is, the Canadiens defeated the Bruins by a score of 1-0 last night in Boston. The Boston loss has denied the Bruins home ice advantage and denied Lynnrockets of trash-talking privileges at least until Saturday night. Here is hoping things turn around quickly in the hockey department. In the meantime, please bear (get it?) with us if posting is a little spotty next week. Luckily, we have the best house/dog sitter on the planet.

Please take at a look at my WRKO Boston talk radio-based blog also, too. It can be found here: Kevin’s Blog-A Liberal Dose of Reality.

Remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

My Way song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6E2hYDIFDIU

MY WAY

(sung to Frank Sinatra’s “My Way”)

And now, the end is near;
To all of you, I’m glad I met ya’
Alaskans, let’s make it clear,
Did I fool you?, Oh yeah, “ya betcha!”

You’ve met Todd, the “First Dude”,
His snowmachine is in the driveway.
Is he drunk? My God, he’s blitzed,
The D.U.I. way.

Regrets, I’ve had a few;
More than most, I will remember.
My lipstick and my hair-do
But most of all, 4th of November.

Each day since then has been
Another never-ending whine and cry day,
And I’ve been told by Newt Gingrich,
To hit the highway.

Yes, there were times, that now you know
I failed to declare “per diem” dough.
What’s this about “stimulus funds”?
Let’s just cling to, our God and guns.
Oh, I just winked and then I blinked;
And did it my way.

Nicknames, I’ve had a few
There’s “Caribou” and “Barracuda”
Now I’m known as “Sarah Who?”
Cuz Tina Fey is so much cuter.

To think I’m a has been;
And I can’t see – beyond next Friday
Woe, oh woe is me,
I won’t have my day.

For what is a gal, what has she got?
When her career, has gone to pot.
How to appear on nightly news;
When she’s inept at interviews.
She’s still exposed despite those clothes
Please hit the highway!

Yes, hit the highway.

Mama Grizzlies Attack Sarah Palin

It’s a jungle, er forest out there. The beasts have become restless and are now on the prowl. Their prey? Sarah Palin. Yes it’s true. The former half-term ex-quitting governor of Alaska and Jane Goodall of Mama Grizzlies everywhere is now under attack by angry wild female voters.

EMILY’s List is targeting Sarah Palin and the 49 candidates she has endorsed so far in the 2010 midterms with the launch of a new campaign. EMILY’s List is a veteran Democratic advocacy group that works to elect women who support abortion rights to federal and state office. EMILY’s List, founded in 1985, boasts their role in electing 80 female House members, 15 senators, and nine governors. The group says the battle over women voters has intensified this year as Palin trumpets and endorses conservative Republican women she has dubbed “mama grizzlies.” Palin also advocated for conservative women candidates in a recent “Mama Grizzlies” video released through her political action committee, SarahPAC. The group does not want Sarah Palin to go unchallenged.

EMILY’s List identified three races that are prime targets for warring Mama Grizzlies, in which EMILY’s List supports the Democrat and Sarah Palin has endorsed the Republican. They include the California Senate race between Sen. Barbara Boxer and former Hewlett-Packard executive Carly Fiorina; a Minnesota House race that pits GOP Rep. Michele Bachmann against Democrat Tarryl Clark and the New Mexico governor’s race between Republican Susana Martinez and Democratic Lt. Gov. Diane Denish.

The group has just released a video of its own which serves as a get-out-the-vote effort and to help organize Emily’s List supporters to vote this November. Let’s watch these Democratic “Mama Grizzlies” devour the rancid tasting Sarah Palin.

Growwwlll!

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Georgie Girl song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bf8O1whEH5s

HEY THERE, SARAH GIRL

(sung to the Seekers song “Georgie Girl”)

Hey there, Sarah Girl
Are you G.O.P. or Tea Party?
It’s so clear to see that you must be the loneliest bear
You lie too

Hey there, Palin Girl
Why do Fox News boys think you’re so fly?
Could it be that they are high, or is it the clothes you wear?

You’re always Red State hopping and talking “death panel” lies
You’ll get nowhere by winking your eyes
You little twit

Hey there, Sarah Girl
Is that Hannity right by your side?
You both have a lot to hide and how very strange is he?
And can you see Putin, Sarah Girl?

(instrumental break)

Hey there, Palin Girl
Scheming up a way to earn a fee
No sense of reality, from it you can’t run away

Your fenced in lair’s been changing and you’re a strange thing yourself
And all you care about is your wealth
You little twit

Hey there, Sarah Girl
Is it with Glenn Beck that you confide?
Do you talk about Levi and what a pest he will be?
The world will see the true Palin Girl

Wake up Sarah Girl
Come on, Sarah Girl
Wake up Sarah girl

Memo To Sarah Palin: Nobody Asked Your Opinion

Here she goes again. Sarah Palin is now calling upon President Barack Obama to fire his top aide, Rahm Emanuel as a consequence of his using coarse language in a strategy session. Emanuel allegedly referred to liberal groups that attacked the president’s health care reform plan last August as “F-ing retarded”.

Regarding the remark, CNN reports that Palin says,

His recent tirade against participants in a strategy session was such a strong slap in many American faces that our president is doing himself a disservice by seeming to condone Rahm’s recent sick and offensive tactic. Just as we’d be appalled if any public figure of Rahm’s stature ever used the “N-word” or other such inappropriate language, Rahm’s slur on all God’s children with cognitive and developmental disabilities – and the people who love them – is unacceptable, and it’s heartbreaking.

Okay then, where shall we begin? First of all it is clear that Sarah Palin is not fit to serve in high office if she cannot tolerate the rough and tumble language of smoke filled rooms and closed door meetings. My goodness, would this delicate little flower wilt and crumble when Putin “rears his head over Alaska” and calls her a name? Where would she hide when Osama Bin Laden sends another audiotape? Has she never heard the tapes of Presidents Nixon and Johnson and the most recent Face Shooter in Chief, Dick Cheney? If she has then why has she never mentioned her outrage?

Additionally, aren’t her remarks a perfect example of the pot calling the kettle black? After all, it was only last October when her almost son-in-law Levi Johnston appeared on network television and revealed that Sarah Palin joked about her son Trig’s Down Syndrome, calling him her “retarded baby.” Ouch! Johnston added that the slur was not just a  one time occurrance, but was used quite frequently.

Finally, although Emanuel should have used different words, Palin has missed his point entirely. The context of his remark makes clear that he was not poking fun in any way at those actually suffering from mental disabilities. On the contrary, Emanuel was pointing out the irrational position of those persons that would oppose a form of health care reform that has a goal of providing insurance and therefore medical services to just those patients that may be denied medical services under the present system. But how could we expect Sarah Palin to understand that? The only two phrases she has ever associated with health care reform are “socialist” and “death panels”.

Sarah Palin is a dangerous, hypocritical one-trick pony who’s opinion should never be solicited on any subject of importance.

In honor of the troops, please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

My Way song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6E2hYDIFDIU

MY WAY

(sung to Frank Sinatra’s “My Way”)

And now, the end is near;
To all of you, I’m glad I met ya’
Alaskans, let’s make it clear,
Did I fool you?, Oh yeah, “ya betcha!”

You’ve met Todd, the “First Dude”,
His snowmachine is in the driveway.
Is he drunk? My God, he’s blitzed,
The D.U.I. way.

Regrets, I’ve had a few;
More than most, I will remember.
My lipstick and my hair-do
But most of all, 4th of November.

Each day since then has been
Another never-ending whine and cry day,
And I’ve been told by Newt Gingrich,
To hit the highway.

Yes, there were times, that now you know
I failed to declare “per diem” dough.
What’s this about “stimulus funds”?
Let’s just cling to, our God and guns.
Oh, I just winked and then I blinked;
And did it my way.

Nicknames, I’ve had a few
There’s “Caribou” and “Barracuda”
Now I’m known as “Sarah Who?”
Cuz Tina Fey is so much cuter.

To think I’m a has been;
And I can’t see – beyond next Friday
Woe, oh woe is me,
I won’t have my day.

For what is a gal, what has she got?
When her career, has gone to pot.
How to appear on nightly news;
When she’s inept at interviews.
She’s still exposed despite those clothes
Please hit the highway!

Yes, hit the highway.

Sarah Palin: Show Me The Money

As always, third place is for losers. Unfortunately for Sarah Palin, that is exactly the position she is in when compared to other potential G.O.P. presidential contenders in terms of fund raising. The former ex-quitting governor of Alaska raised $2.1 million ($1.4 million in the last 6 months) through her political action committee (SarahPAC) in 2009. A good number but Mitt Romney, the former ex-quitting governor of Massachusetts raised $2.9 million and Minnesota governor Tim Pawlenty raised $1.3 million in just three months (a projected 6 month total of over $2.6 million). Pawlenty’s take is particularly startling because he has not even quit his job yet.

In typical non-specific Palin-speak, SarahPAC spokeswoman Meg Stapleton said:

We are thrilled. Common sense Americans know the direction we need to take this country and that Sarah Palin will be instrumental in taking us there this year. We look forward to the journey ahead!

We are thrilled with scamming money from undereducated dolts and we look forward to conning them into giving more this year.
The transparency of Sarah Palin’s self profit motive is astounding. Think about this for a moment. Every time we hear a news story about Palin since she quit on the people of Alaska, it involves the mention of money.The unjustified money she collected from Alaskan taxpayers for her children’s travel and lodging. The money her fictional novel generated. The money she charged her fans for photos at book signings. The money that Fox News will pay her as a guest host. The money she will charge for speaking at the National Tea Bagging Convention. The money she and Bristol are paid for tabloid magazine stories. Honestly, what is next?

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Life’s Been Good song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BXWvKDSwvls

LIFE’S BEEN GOOD

(sung to the Joe Walsh song “Life’s Been Good”)

She built a mansion, who knows the price?
It clashes with all the snow and the ice
But she loves hotels and room service calls
She has SarahPAC pay for it all

That Palin’s crazy but she has a good time
She has nothing to do but scheme for her next dime
Life’s been good to she so far

Her snow-machine does 125
But if it crashes she won’t survive
We never see her eldest son, Track
She seems to care more for “Joe Sixpack”

She’s signing books and her fans they can’t wait
To read about her politics of hate
So she takes all the money from her fans one and all
Those fools line-up and wait in the hall

Sarah is insane and she has not a clue
She is a fool (a fool)
She has no brains because of safety schools
Life’s been good to she so far

(long but fun musical interlude)

Biden used Palin to mop up the floor
He and Obama showed Sarah the door
Shortly thereafter, she turned on McCain
Claimed that it was his fault though she was to blame

That Palin’s crazy but she has a good time
We say, “Oh, yeah” (oh, yeah)
Sarah’s “death panels’ were the year’s biggest lie
Life’s been good to she so far

Yeah, yeah, yeah

(long musical fade to end)

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 25 (and a Plea For Help)

Just a few noteworthy political meteorites and comments thereon that have been careening around the galaxy this past week.

BREAKING NEWS: It was announced on Friday that Republican, John Shadegg of Arizona will retire from the U.S. House of Representatives. Shadegg is the latest in a string of representatives and senators to announce that they plan to vacate their seats. It is yet to be seen whether the media will characterize Shadegg’s retirement as a severe blow to Republican election efforts in 2010. That is precisely what they said about Democrats earlier in the month however, when two Democratic senators announced their retirement. It would appear that Republicans are in the most trouble because fifteen of their House members are retiring (compared to eleven Democrats) along with six of their senators (compared to two Democrats). Final score: Republican vacancies = 21, Democratic party vacancies = 13.

THIS JUST IN: The lunatic accused of plotting to kill then Senator Barack Obama (along with several other Black Americans) in September 2008, has pleaded guilty and faces a ten year prison sentence. Paul Schlesselman of Arkansas entered a guilty plea agreement with federal prosecutors on Thursday. This serves as a reminder that racism is still alive and well in this country.

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s edition of  “And If You Believe That One, I’ve Got Some Florida Swampland I’d Like To Sell” features a Republican candidate for Governor of Ohio who has announced that he is a Tea-Bagger. In fact, John Kaisch claims to have been the very first Tea-Bagger. Last week he said,

I’ve been all over the state, including with our friends in the Tea Party movement. I think I was in the Tea Party before there was a Tea Party.

Yikes! He is willing to admit to that? Upon closer inspection however, it appears that Kaisch is simply pulling the wool over the eyes of the ever-ignorant Tea-Baggers. Indeed, he is a former Lehman Brothers investment banker and the investment bankers are a target of the Tea-Baggers because of the bank bailouts. Looks like we have a real match made in Heaven.

THIS JUST IN: Republican Newt “The Beaute” Gingrich has announced that he might seek the presidency in 2012. He said, “I think I’m probably on a list of seven or eight possible candidates at this stage”. CNN reports,

Gingrich’s comments come days after organizers of The Southern Republican Leadership Conference – a high-profile gathering of party activists considered to be an initial venue for potential GOP presidential candidates – announced the former House Speaker will be among the list of Republican speakers. Palin and Pawlenty are also expected to attend the event.

Gingrich also recently filed government paperwork to form a political action committee, named American Solutions PAC, according to Federal Election Commission records. The forming of a political action committee will allow Gingrich to raise cash and donate the money to federal and state candidates across the country. It could also be a sign that Gingrich is serious about running for the White House in 2012.

The last time we heard from the disgraced former House Speaker was when he announced last December that he would launch a Spanish language conservative web magazine to bring Latinos within the conservative Republican fold. So far, that stunt has not been successful for obvious reasons. Gingrich is a wife-cheating, anti-immigration racist. Let’s hope his presidential bid is just as unsuccessful.

BREAKING NEWS: This past week’s blockbuster television moment did not appear on the season premiere of the Republican pornshow known as Jack Bauer’s 24.  It happened on the Glenn Beck Show and should have been titled, Couric: The Sequel. It was riveting television when guest Sarah Palin was asked by Glenn Beck who her favorite founding father was and Palin drew a blank just as she had when Couric asked her what newspapers she read. It was just as obvious on Beck’s show as it was with Couric, that Palin simply had no idea what to answer. She could not name a newspaper or magazine for Couric and she could not name a founding father for Beck. After much stammering, she finally came up with George Washington (probably only because Beck had mentioned him 1 minute earlier) although he had little to no effect on the formation of our nation’s principles or system of government. here is a transcript of the embarrassing conversation:

PALIN: That is because we have a fallen world. And mankind is fallen and we can never put — I don’t believe that we were created to be able to put our faith wholly, solely except for our spouse in another person. Certainly not in a politician. I don’t believe that except, you know, looking back on our founding fathers and seeing the sincerity there and the genuine love that they had of the country, I don’t think in recent days we can find too many of those politicians.

BECK: That’s why we got to stop looking and start taking from the barrel and start picking from the tree. Who is your favorite founder?

PALIN: You know, well, all of them (editor’s note: Gee, sound familiar?) because they came collectively together with so much diverse .

BECK: Bull crap. Who is your favorite?

PALIN: So much diverse opinion and so much diversity in terms of belief, but collectively they came together to form this union.

(CROSSTALK)

PALIN: No, and they were led by, of course, George Washington, so he’s got to rise to the top. Washington was the consummate statesman. He serves, he returned power to the people. He didn’t want to be a king. He returned power to the people. Then he went back to Mount Vernon, he went back to his farm. He was almost reluctant to serve as president, too. And that is who you need to find to serve in government, in a bureaucracy.

Those who you know will serve for the right reasons because they’re reluctant to get out there and seek a limelight and seek power. They’re doing it for people. That was George Washington.

Quite simply, Sarah Palin is an uneducated buffoon.

THIS JUST IN: This week’s edition of “Right-Wing Conservatives Who Deserve To Burn In Hell” features Pat Robertson and c0-stars Rush Limbaugh. Robertson said that Haiti was struck by an earthquake that killed thousands and left millions to clinging to existence because the victims’ forefathers had made a pact with the Devil. Rush Limbaugh in turn, actually discouraged his listeners from contributing to relief for Haiti and pounded Obama for exploiting the tragedy in order to present himself as a humanitarian. Nuff said.

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s edition of “Absolutely, Unbelievably Stupid Blog Reader Comments” comes courtesy of The Political Carnival. In response to a post about the Haitian earthquake tragedy, a reader said this,

Anonymous said…
I pay taxes to run my government, not to “AID” other countries.

And I don’t recall when a poor country actually provided the U.S with anything when disaster struck the U.S

January 14, 2010 2:45 PM

THIS JUST IN: This week’s edition of “The Lying Liar That Keeps On Lying” features Sarah Palin. While continuing to make the rounds as a Fox News guest host last week, she appeared on Hannity and defended her “death panels” lie to the point of stating that they still exist in health care reform legislation. here is the transcript:

Hannity: You stand by those comments because you think it still exists in the bill.

Palin: I do. It’s a commission, it’s bureaucracy, it’s bureaucrats who will ration care if the bill goes through as Obama wants it to go through. Yes — it’s modeled, in essence, after a British system that does have people to decide whether, based on your quality of life, your age, whether you’re gonna deserve health-care coverage or not — that’s what’s gonna happen in America if this health-care bill isn’t stopped, and it needs to be stopped soon, and that’s why the people of this land can’t give up in demanding that their voice be heard, demanding that the White House understand that this is a representative form of government, we do expect that the will of the people is listened to and adhered to and implemented via our representatives, who we elect.

Stupid is as stupid does.

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s edition of “Matches Made In Heaven” features Sarah Palin and the NASCAR crowd. Conservatives4Palin announced yesterday that plans are in the works for the former ex-quitting governor of Alaska to appear in some unspecified capacity at the Daytona 500 in February. Palin has already purchased her supply of chewing tobacco and Busch beer. Perhaps she will be baring her breasts while filming one of those Danica Patrick GoDaddy.com ads.

THIS JUST IN: The camaigning for the Massachusetts special election to fill Ted Kennedy’s senate seat is coming down to the wire. Yesterday, former President Bill Clinton came first to Boston and then to the central part of the state to stump for the Democratic Party candidate, Martha Coakley. He also recorded a robo-call for wide distribution which goes like this:

Hello, this is Bill Clinton.

I’m calling to urge you to get out and vote for Martha Coakley on Tuesday January 19.

This election is critical, not just for Massachusetts but for our entire country. The Republicans are spending millions of dollars to win Ted Kennedy’s Senate seat and they’re telling you that they’ve got a better economic plan, when all they want is to bring back President Bush’s economic policies. They’re telling you they’ve got a health care plan, when all they want is to leave the health insurance companies in control of America’s health care and bankrupt the country.

So please, get out and vote for Martha Coakley on Tuesday Jan 19. I know her, she’s a good person, she’ll be a good senator.

The caring and concerned citizens of Massachusetts thank you, Mr. Clinton. Today is a lso a big campaign day however, as President Barack Obama comes to Boston for the same purpose.

BREAKING NEWS: Martha Coakley exposed the fact that her Republican opponent for Ted Kennedy’s Senate seat fails to provide health insurance for his staff workers while the Democrat does provide those benefits. The Boston Globe reports that Coakley is saying the following in recent campaign stops:

We already knew that Scott Brown didn’t want to make health insurance more affordable for Massachusetts families and businesses. Now we learn that he won’t even make health insurance available for his own staff. If he won’t stand up for the people he employs, how could we ever trust him to stand up for us?

Tell it like it is, Martha. Tell it like it is.

THIS JUST IN: Watch Massachusetts Republican Senatorial candidate Scott Brown suggest that President Barack Obama was born out of wedlock.

Scott Brown is just another Birther-like conspiracy theorist that appears to have confused the Obamas with the Palins.

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s edition of “Guys That Belong In The Senate” features Massachusetts Republican Senatorial candidate Scott Brown. Yes folks, this is the guy that is running against Democrat Martha Coakley for the Ted Kennedy seat. He posed for this photo some years ago in Cosmopolitan magazine. Honestly, would he ever be taken seriously? I wonder why Sarah Palin does not characterize this photo as “porn”? Clearly, this is an example of, the emperor wears no clothes.

I can see my clothes from my house!

IMPORTANT MESSAGE AND PLEA FOR HELP !!!

As many of you know, this Tuesday January 19th is the date of the special election to fill Ted Kennedy’s Massachusetts Senate Seat. There has not been a Republican elected to a Massachusetts seat since 1972, but the G.O.P. has gone “All In” on this race and it is presently a toss up. The Democratic Party candidate, Martha Coakley (currently the Massachusetts Attorney General) is clinging to a razor thin lead in the polls but the momentum has swung to the Republican. I cannot overemphasize the importance of this race. Health care reform hangs in the balance. If Martha Coakley does not capture the Senate seat, the Democrats will lose their filibuster-proof 60 votes and the health care reform bill will not survive the Senate vote after reconciliation. Let me repeat, if Martha Coakley does not capture the Senate seat, the Democrats will lose their filibuster-proof 60 votes and the health care reform bill will not survive the Senate vote after reconciliation.

Lynnrockets’ Blast-Off has never asked any of you fellow Rocketeers to make a financial donation of any kind to any cause in the past and we hope that we will never feel the need to do so again. That being said, we are begging you to make a contribution (no matter how small it may be or what state you might be from) to the Martha Coakley campaign immediately. The well funded Republican national interest groups are flooding the  Brown campaign with contributions to get out the vote. We owe it to our nation to match their efforts. Please, please, please, please make a contribution today to:

Martha Coakley

Democrat For U.S. Senate

Marthacoakley.com

We thank you in advance for your anticipated cooperation,

Lynnrockets

Ok, so on to today’s song parody. This is one of our favorite scathing Republican bashing tunes and explains why this blog exists. Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the song parody.

I Write The Songs song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w-fev20voMc

I WRITE THE SONGS

(sung to the Barry Manilow song “I Write The Songs”)

I sling the jive whenever,
I sit down and scribble a song
I put the words and Republicans together
I love music,
And I love these songs

I write the songs that I hope you folks sing
I write the songs to dethrone G.O.P. kings
I write the songs that expose all their lies
I write the songs, I write the songs

I’m from a state that’s deep blue,
And we make a damned good lobster roll
No, there aren’t many right wing guys
There’s some but then, all of them are very old

I write the songs that attack the right wing
I write the songs that I hope linger and sting
I write the songs that prompt Glenn Beck to cry
I write the songs, I write the songs

Oh, I’ll take a hostile stance
When Limbaugh begins to rave and rant
And I’ll lead you to a poll, he can’t disprove
Palin has no heart,
So, I will tear her life apart
Hannity, Coulter too,
Also, too, O’Reilly
None of them can hide from me !!!

I write the songs about Mark Sanford’s flings
I write the songs about Larry Craig’s stings
I write the songs about Mark Foley’s guys
I write the songs, I write the songs

I write the songs about Joe Wilson’s slings
I write the songs of Vitter’s diapery things
I write the songs about all of those guys
I write the songs, I write the songs

I love music, so I write these songs


Sarah Palin: Liar, Liar Pants On Fire !!!

The Twelve (OK, Sixteen) Days of Christmas Song Parodies continues…

Everybody likes to win an award every once in awhile. Sarah Palin however may not feel the same way about her latest accomplishment. This week PolitiFact.com (the fact checking website of The St. Petersburg Times) awarded the former ex-quitting governor of Alaska’s “death panels” comment regarding the Democratic Party’s health care reform legislation to be the biggest political lie of 2009.

Sarah Palin made the claim on her Facebook page at the height of the debate over President Obama’s plans to reform the US health care system. She wrote,

The America I know and love is not one in which my parents or my baby with Down Syndrome will have to stand in front of Obama’s ‘death panel’ so his bureaucrats can decide, based on a subjective judgment of their ‘level of productivity in society,’ whether they are worthy of health care. Such a system is downright evil.

PolitiFact.com reports,

Her assertion — that the government would set up boards to determine whether seniors and the disabled were worthy of care — spread through newscasts, talk shows, blogs and town hall meetings. Opponents of health care legislation said it revealed the real goals of the Democratic proposals. Advocates for health reform said it showed the depths to which their opponents would sink. Still others scratched their heads and said, “Death panels? Really?”

PolitiFact rated Palin’s statement Pants on Fire (its highest grade of dishonesty). In the weeks that followed, health care policy experts on both the right and the left said the euthanasia comparisons were inaccurate. Gail Wilensky, a health adviser to President George H.W. Bush, said the charge was untrue and upsetting. The website’s readers also  overwhelmingly supported the decision. Nearly 5,000 voted in a national poll to name the biggest lie, and 61 percent chose “death panels” from a field of eight finalists.

Democratic Congressman Edward Markey of Massachusetts may have summed up Palin and her Republican cohorts’ position regarding “death panels” the best. He said,

You know, GOP used to stand for Grand Old Party, Now it stands for Grandstand, Oppose, and Pretend. They grandstand with phony claims about nonexistent death panels. They oppose any real reform.

Any chance that Sarah Palin can repeat as the biggest liar of 2010? We consider her to be the odds on favorite.

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune (if you are from Mars) and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Rudolf The Red Nosed Reindeer song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pISgVQOj_QM

SARAH THE RED STATE BIMBO

(sung to the theme of “Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer”)

You know Paris and Lindsay and Charo and Britney
Nicole, Ivana and Jessica Simpson
But do you recall the most famous bimbo of all?

Sarah the Red State bimbo
Had a very strange hairstyle
And she had a way of speaking
That reminded one of Gomer Pyle

All of the other guv’nors
Used to laugh and call her names
Because her stupid glasses
Were all lens but had no frames

Then one balmy summer day
John McCain enquired
Sarah, you’re so “mavericky”
Won’t you please be my V.P.?

Then all the dumb red staters
Wondered who the hell was she
They never heard of Palin
The Alaskan hillbilly

Sarah the red state bimbo
Dressed like a flight attendant ‘ho
And she told lies so often
We could all watch her nose grow

All of the other bimbos
Used to laugh and call her names
They all knew Sarah Palin
Was a gal that had no brains

Then one balmy July day
They heard Sarah say,
“I won’t give up without a fight”,
“Unless I quit my job tonight”

Then how right-wingers loved her
As they shouted out with glee
“Sarah, the red state bimbo”
“you’ll go down in history”

Sarah Palin Is A “Liar, Liar Pants On Fire”

palinLIAR

It looks like the world will soon know that Pinocchio Palin’s nose is growing. President Obama was not joking last month when he said that if someone spreads lies, falsehoods or misconceptions about the Democratic party’s health care reform bill, he would “call them out” about it. The Democratic National Committee has just released an informative video ad which takes direct aim at Sarah Palin, the former ex-quitting governor of Alaska for doing just that.

The ad exposes each lie that Palin told about health care reform including, but not limited to, her fictitious “death panels.” Jen O’Malley, the executive director of the D.N.C. said, “The more we push back with the truth, the more Sarah Palin and others like her will have to think twice before they promote lies, and the less they’ll be able to derail progress.” Those certainly sound like fighting words. Please watch and enjoy the ad.

And now it is time for our topical song parody. Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.

I’m Down song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SQtKwP4a_oE

SHE’S DOWN

(sung to the Beatles song “I’m Down”)

She tells lies thinking we can’t see
Palin’s been caught by the D.N.C.
She’s down (she’s really down)
She’s down (down on the ground)
She’s down (she’s really down)
Now we can laugh cuz dear Sarah’s down
(Now we can laugh) look at her big frown

Palin sings to her fans everyday
Not one word of truth does she say
She’s down (she’s really down)
She’s down (down on the ground)
She’s down (she’s really down)
Now we can laugh cuz dear Sarah’s down
(Now we can laugh) She is such a clown

She’s all alone in her Wasilla house
She has no one to blame but herself
She’s down (she’s really down)
She’s down (down on the ground)
She’s down (she’s really down)
Now we can laugh cuz dear Sarah’s down
(Now we can laugh) Palin hates that sound

(Wow! Baby I’m down!)

Whoo, baaaby!

Palin, you know that she’s down (she’s really down)
We dressed her down (she’s really down)
She’s down on the ground (she’s really down)
Whoa! Down! (she’s really down)
That babe is upside down
Oh yeh, yeh, yeh, yeh, yeh, she’s down (she’s really down)
Oh, baby she’s down (she’s really down)
Her smile is now a frown (she’s really down)
Ooh, she’s down (she’s really down)
Oh, baby she’s down, yeh
Oh, baby she’s down, yeh!
Baby, she’s down (she’s really down)
Oh, baby she’s down (she’s really down)
Oh, baby, baby, baby! (she’s really down)
Oh, baby she’s down (she’s really down)
She’s down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, yeh whoa !!!

Masculine Ann Coulter Defends Insane Sarah Palin

coulterTime magazine

Ann Coulter the gender confused right wing pundit appeared on the Joy Behar Show yesterday and defended Sarah Palin’s outlandish “death panel” claims with regard to health care reform proposals. Behar succinctly pointed out the lack of veracity with regard to the claim that voluntary physician/patient consultations regarding the use of such things as durable powers of attorney, medical proxies and advance directives will lead to a government imposed policy of persuading elders to end their lives. Coulter however could not face reason. Instead, in an attempt to defend Palin, he claimed that as the result of the fact that doctors would be paid for such consultations, it was obvious that such action constitutes government mandated death sentences. Coulter is simply a prime example of someone that is “blinded by the right.”

Coulter also tried to bolster the ex-quitting governor Palin by stating that Palin draws large audiences in part because of her coherence. Behar found that statement to be laughable and said, “Ann, I like you, but the woman is not coherent. She can’t construct a sentence.” Watch the video here.

There have been rumors circulating on the internets tubes for some time now which advance the proposition that Ann Coulter is actually a male. Most of these articles focus on a few missing years during his adolescence when he presumably left the country to have a sex change operation overseas. The articles also often draw attention to his pronounced Adam’s Apple and masculine looking hands. Additionally, it is frequently pointed out that he has never been married or had children.

Here at Blast-Off, we have no idea as to the credibility of the Mann Coulter rumors. We do, however hope said rumors are true because of the wealth of satirical material which such a situation would spawn. As you can guess, we really do not like Ann Coulter or anything he has to say. So, without further adieu, let’s have a song…

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along to the song parody.

I Wanna Be Sedated song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8FxaJKm9sdI

ANN WANTS TO BE CASTRATED

(sung to the Ramones song “I Wanna Be Sedated”)

Twenty-twenty-twenty Mann-hours to go, Ann wants to be castrated
Nice new hairdo and nothing that show-o-ohs, his sex can be debated
Get Coulter to the airport and put him on a plane
Hurry, hurry, hurry the surgery’s in Spain
He only wants ten fingers and a woman’s brain
Oh no no no no no

Twenty-twenty-twenty Mann hours to go, Ann wants to be castrated
Nice new hairdo and nothing that show-o-ohs ,his sex can be debated
Just slather his legs with Nair then he’ll be a dame
Hurry, hurry, hurry before he goes insane
He looks a lot like Klinger isn’t that a shame?
Oh no no no no no

Twenty-twenty-twenty Mann-hours to go till his breasts are inflated
Get some new shoes, Ann’s ready to go-o-o, the change has been belated
Put Coulter in that wheelchair, let’s begin the show
Hurry, hurry, hurry before it starts to grow
He wants some girlie sneakers and new Ann Taylor clothes
Oh no no no no no

Twenty-twenty-twenty Mann hours to go, Ann wants to be castrated
Boobs that are new and sheer nylon hose, Ann wants to be castrated
Just put Ann in a wheelchair, let’s begin the show
Hurry, hurry, hurry he wants to be a ‘ho
Trinkets on his fingers and trinkets on his toes
Oh no no no no no

Ba-ba-bamp-ba ba-ba-ba-bamp-ba Ann wants to be castrated
Ba-ba-bamp-ba ba-ba-ba-bamp-ba Ann wants to be castrated
Ba-ba-bamp-ba ba-ba-ba-bamp-ba Ann wants to be castrated
Ba-ba-bamp-ba ba-ba-ba-bamp-ba Ann wants to be castrated


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