Blog Archives

“Diaper” Dave Vitter Does A Dirty

Senator David Vitter (R) Lousiana has become another gift that keeps on giving. Just a few years ago the philandering “family values” Republican was revealed to be a repeat customer of a prostitution ring. To add insult to injury, his favorite hooker also revealed that the big baby liked to don diapers during his sessions. You would think that a revelation such as that would have caused the G.O.P. leadership to call for his resignation but such was not the case. You see, the Governor of Louisiana was a Democrat and under state law she would have been allowed to appoint Vitter’s replacement. Hence the “do as we say, not as we do” Republicans turned a blind eye to Diaper Dave’s transgressions.

Now Vitter’s embarrassing past may finally catch up to him. Charlie Melancon, the Democratic Senate nominee in Louisiana, plans to run a two-minute television ad as early as Wednesday night addressing his GOP opponent’s 2007 prostitution scandal. Let’s take a look, shall we?

Yikes, the poop doesn’t fall far from the Pampers!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Walk Like An Egyptian song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lc5jjHhD9BY

WALK WITH AN ERECTION

(sung to the Bangles song “Walk Like An Egyptian”)

All the G.O.P.s in bedrooms
They do the sex dance with their hoes
They’re getting their kicks (oh whey oh)
They think that their wives will never know

There sat Larry Craig with a smile
Hoping to score a tete-a-tete
He set for awhile (oh whey oh)
On the airport Men’s Room toilet

Cleans his pipe with a Handy Wipe play
Ay oh whey oh, ay oh whey oh
Walk with an erection

Mark Sanford goes missing for days
In South America for a score
He’s got the moves (oh whey oh)
But he’s a fink and his gal’s a whore

John Ensign met his while at work
Along with her son and her husband
He paid them like kings (oh whey oh)
No talking of his erection

All the guys in the G.O.P. say
Ay oh whey oh, ay oh whey oh
Walk with an erection

(musical interlude)

Newt Gingrich left his wife with no tact
In the cancer ward on her back
Life is hard you know (oh whey oh)
He even took her new Cadillac

Mark Vitter pulled out all the stops
His escorts charged him the very tops
They sing and dance (oh whey oh)
Spent his way right into hawk

Then there’s Mark Foley with his men
He says he won’t do it again
But those heinies know (oh whey oh)
He works with a big erection

All the boys in the G.O.P. say
Ay oh whey oh, ay oh whey oh
Walk with an erection
Walk with an erection

(Diaper)Dave Vitter Dissed By Bobby Jindal(Bells)

Louisiana's Gov. Bobby Jindal(Bells) and Sen. (Diaper)Dave Vitter

The most crooked political party in one of the crookedest states in the Union has a genuine case of infighting. CNN reports that Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal(Bells) has finally answered a questioned asked of him for months: Will he endorse embattled Republican Sen. (Diaper)David Vitter’s reelection bid? Jindal’s answer is “no”. He told local television station WDSU that, “Voters can make up their own minds”.

Jindal added he doesn’t like to get involved in federal races, though the station reports he has backed federal-office seekers in the past.

Jindal’s rejection of Vitter exacerbates the problems that have arisen from reports in 2007 that the married Senator was involved with a Washington, DC prostitute (while he was wearing diapers) and revelations earlier this year that a high-ranking staffer who’s position was to oversee “women’s issues” was permitted to stay on the job after being convicted of domestic abuse charges involving the stabbing of a female.

It is always most enjoyable to watch Republicans eat their own.

Please remember to click on the song links below to familiarize yourselves with both of the tunes and to have more fun singing along with today’s duo of song parodies.

Getting Better song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jk0dBZ1meio

DAVID VITTER

(sung to the Beatles song “Getting Better”)

It’s David Vitter all the time
That David Vitter is a fool (only half a brain)
His hookers tell him that he’s cool (as they drain the vein)
Just like Scottie Brown (oh,oh)
Trousers are down (oh, oh)
Vitter just stutters and drools (Oooh)

You’ve got to admit that David Vitter (Vitter)
Wears baby diapers all the time (it can’t get no worse)
You’ve got to admit that David Vitter (Vitter)
That David Vitter
Just loves vice crimes

A useless and angry young man
Dave’s now universally panned
Let’s give him the bird, that obnoxious turd
Let’s give it to him with both hands

You’ve got to admit that David Vitter (Vitter)
Wears baby diapers all the time (it can’t get no worse)
You’ve got to admit that David Vitter (Vitter)
That David Vitter
Just loves vice crimes

We know David Vitter crawls in slime

Wears baby diapers all the time
Vitter, Vitter, Vitter
He leads a secret life of crime
Vitter, Vitter, Vitter

Dave loves to be cruel to his woman
He cheats and he spends all his time with the hookers he loves
Vitter is mean and he’s oh so obscene
Just like all those Republican men (ooh)

Just admit it David Vitter
You’re an offender all the time (you can’t get no worse)
Please just admit it David Vitter, your baby sitter
She dropped a dime

We know David Vitter crawls in slime

Wears baby diapers all the time
Vitter, Vitter, Vitter
He leads a secret life of crime
Vitter, Vitter, Vitter

We know David Vitter crawls in slime

Jingle Bells song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O2MFducncsg

JINDALBELLS

(sung to the song of “Jingle Bells”)

Dashing through Naw’Leans
Sporting his brand new short pants
Taking in the scenes
While practicing a dance

Down in Baton Rouge
He’s a resident
But he can’t wait to move up north
And be the President

Oh, Jindal-Bells, Jindal-Bells
Jindal  I say, “Nay”
Oh how dull it is to be the Guv’nor of LA

Hey, Jindal-Bells, Jindal-Bells
Can Bobby come to play?
He looks like a nine year old out playing in the hay

(musical interlude)

A month or two ago
While climbing in a tree
Bobby was surprised
By the G.O.P.

They said they needed him
And not that Sarah P.
To replenish all their hopes and dreams
As their next nominee

Oh, Jindal-Bells, Jindal-Bells
Jindal  I say, “Nay”
Oh how dull it is to be the Guv’nor of LA

Hey, Jindal-Bells, Jindal-Bells
Can Bobby come to play?
He looks like a nine year old out playing in the hay

(musical interlude)

Bobby then replied (bobby then replied)
What about Romney? (what about romney)
He’s too on our side (he’s too on our side)
And much smarter than me (ha, ha, ha)

Then there’s Newt Gingrich (then there’s newt Gingrich)
And good old Huckabee (and good old Huckabee)
Let’s not forget that other bitch
The Texan, Kay Bailey

Oh, Jindal-Bells, Jindal-Bells
Jindal  I say, “Nay”
Oh how dull it is to be the Guv’nor of LA

Hey, Jindal-Bells, Jindal-Bells
Can Bobby come to play?
He looks like a nine year old out play-ing in the hay!

Bobby Jindal “Bells” Gaffes Again

You remember Bobby Jindal, don’t you? He was the once and future rising star of the G.O.P. before he delivered his party’s embarrassingly sophomoric response to President Obama’s February 2009 address to Congress. Suddenly thereafter, Jindal was persona non grata to the Republicans.

In an effort to redeem himself in the eyes of the G.O.P., Jindal continued to rail against the President’s stimulus package. He went so far as to proclaim that his State of Louisiana would not accept stimulus funds from the federal government. Of course he lied. Indeed, Jindal even posed in photographs with those big checks as he doled the federal funds to his constituents (see below).

Jindal proudly distributes stimulus funds.

Well, he’s b-a-a-a-a-ck! Nonetheless, in his newest attempt to redeem his image, Bobby Jindal “Bells” has stepped in it again. Ever since the Gulf oil disaster off the coast of his state, Jindal has been shaking his fist at BP and the federal government’s inability to stop the river of oil poisoning the Louisiana coastline and wetlands. His anger at BP is understandable as that company is solely responsible for both the spill and its clean up. But why is he angry at the federal government? Jindal, after all, is one of the biggest conservative proponents of a limited and hands-off federal government. He favors the limited regulation that actually triggered this disaster and yet he now wants his state to be bailed out by Big G.

Yet that is not all that Jindal wants. He claims to be outraged at those responsible for the oil rig disaster yet he is also criticizing President Obama’s moratorium on future off-shore drilling until a safer means of production can be guaranteed. In other words, baby boy Bobby wants to have his cake and eat it too. He wants to capitalize on his outrage at the disaster and yet he simultaneously wants to enable the disaster perpetrators to continue their unsafe practices. Bobby Jindal speaketh with forked tongue.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L4XEbwyvxPc

TINFOIL KEEPS FORMING ON HIS HEAD

(sung to the B.J. Thomas song “Raindrops keep Falling On My Head”)

Tinfoil keeps formin’ on his head
Bob Jindal’s the guy who can’t remember what he said
Boy, what a dimwit
That tinfoil keeps formin’ on his head, it keeps formin’

Jindal’s been sitting way too long in the sun
He won’t admit it but he needs those Stimulus Funds
Just to keep his job
That tinfoil keeps formin’ on his head, it keeps formin’

And there’s one thing we know
This Jindal guy will cheat me indiscreetly
It won’t be long till Bobby J. implodes completely

Tinfoil keeps formin’ on his head
It’s hard to believe that he’s Louisiana born and bred
Whining constantly
Yet, Bobby still wants to play the game of complainin’
He just can’t see
He’s a spoiled crybaby

(musical interlude)

It won’t be long till Bobby J. implodes completely

Tinfoil keeps formin’ on his head
There’s no chance his state will ever emerge from the red
Not with Bobby J.
Cuz he don’t believe in funds for good job re-trainin’
Or equal pay
There’s no hope for LA