Category Archives: Sean Hannity

Fox News’ Sean Hannity Exposed As Liar By MSNBC’s Ed Schultz

Earlier this week, Fox News’ Republican Cheerleader-in-Chief, Sean Hannity stated on air, “I know the President will say ‘we got bin Laden” but putting that aside, it wouldn’t have happened if he (President Obama) had his way and I think that can be proven as well on tapes.”

Of course Hannity did not (and has not since) produced any tapes which corroborate his allegation that President Obama either did not desire to eliminate Osama bin Laden or took any action to discourage or prevent the elimination of the terrorist. You see, this is how Sean Hannity and most of his Fox News cronies operate. They make outrageous statements and seldom back any of them up with actual facts. Such is the case here.

Here are some tapes in fact which completely dispel Hannity’s spurious lie:

First we have a tape of Barack Obama on October 7, 2008 saying, “If we have Osama bin Laden in our sites and the Pakistani government is unable or unwilling to take him out, then I think that we have to act and we will take them out. We will kill bin Laden. We will crush al -Qaeda. That has to be our biggest national security priority.”

Of course, as we all know, President Obama successfully followed through on his promise to eliminate Osama bin Laden and in a televised interview on CBS’ “60 Minutes” shortly thereafter, Defense Secretary Robert Gates gave  much credit for the mission to the President. He said, “I believe, and I’ve worked for a lot of these guys (U.S. Presidents) and this is one of the most courageous calls, decisions that i think I’ve ever seen a President make…It was a very gutsy call…This is a man who is not afraid to make a tough decision and I have seen him make a number.”

If those tapes are not enough to contradict Sean Hannity and expose him as a liar, MSNBC’s Ed Schultz finished the job. Please click on the following link to view Schultz calling Hannity to task:  http://mediamatters.org/mmtv/201202080019

Please remember to click on the song links below to familiarize yourselves with the tunes and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parodies.

Saturday In The Park song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TwryFOYTKac

HANNITY IN THE DARK

(sung to the Chicago song “Saturday In The Park”)

Hannity in the dark
You’d think that he would open his eyes
Hannity in the dark
It’s rhetoric that the reich wing buys
Keeps us barfing, keeps us laughing
The man is a lame-brain
G.O.P. talking points
Ixnay on the truthiness
Do you dig it? (no, we don’t)
And he’s been at it such a long time
Sean Hannity

Hannity in the dark
You’d think that he would open his eyes
Hannity in the dark
It’s rhetoric that the reich wing buys
His tough talking, while he’s smiling
Scared of waterboarding
Chicken-hawk with gall
Olbermann exposed the fool
Can you dig it? (yes, we can)
And Alan Colmes was such a nice guy
Yesterday

Slow thinking dropout without a college degree
A bought man just can shill for the G.O.P.
Fox News execs know they’re his boss
Know they’re his boss (oh, yeah, yeah)

In a daze, in the dark
Every day’s a day full of lies
In a haze, off the mark
He’s just like Limbaugh in disguise
Embellishing and misleading
An abomination
Like the Berlin Wall
An idiot, pitching a fit
Can you dig it? (no, we can’t)
And he’s been at it such a long time
Hannity

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Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 84

Just a few newsworthy items (and comments thereon) that have been making their way through the political universe this past week but may have escaped your attention. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful Independence Day weekend!

BREAKING NEWS:  The next time some unregulated free-market endorsing conservative tells you that the mortgage crisis was caused by unqualified (i.e. poor) homeowners, ask them why Bank of America (and its predecessor in interest, Countrywide Home loans) agreed this week to pay a whopping $8.5 billion to settle the mortgage fraud charges leveled against it.

THIS JUST IN:  It is reported by www.otherwords.org that every person in a county in Montana has a single-payer health plan in the form of Medicare for all. After the residents of Libby were victimized by a health disaster caused by a mining company which killed hundreds and sickened thousands, a special provision was written into the new health care law to ease the pain. “Residents of Libby don’t have to be 65 years old or more. They don’t have to wait until 2014 for the state exchanges. There’s no 10-year roll out for them — it’s immediate. They don’t have to purchase a plan — this isn’t a buy-in to Medicare. It’s free. They don’t have to be disabled for two years before they apply. They don’t have to go without care for three years until Medicaid expands. They don’t have to meet income tests. They don’t have to apply for a subsidy or pay a fine for failure to buy insurance. They don’t have to hope that the market will make a plan affordable or hide their pre-existing conditions. They don’t have to find a job that provides coverage. Now, if only the rest of the nation realizes how beneficial such a plan is, maybe that is the next step in health care reform.

BREAKING NEWS:  This week’s episode of “Do As I Say, Not As I Do” features moonbat-crazy GOP Presidential candidate Michele Bachmann. While the wacky Teapublican has forcefully denounced the Medicaid program for swelling the “welfare rolls,” the mental health clinic run by her husband has been collecting annual Medicaid payments totaling over $137,000 for the treatment of patients since 2005, according to new figures obtained by NBC News. How is that for Tea Party hypocrisy?

THIS JUST IN:  Maria Shriver cited “irreconcilable differences” in a petition filed Friday to dissolve her 25-year marriage to former philandering Republican California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger. She won’t be back!

BREAKING NEWS:  The Washington Post reports that employees of presidential candidate Newt Gingrich grew increasingly concerned in recent years about their boss’s purchases from luxury jeweler Tiffany & Co., worrying that if he followed through on plans to run for president, it could become a political liability. Gingrich’s Tiffany spending has also been questioned by his Republican opponents. He has offered few details about his relationship with the jeweler or the purchases made. He is now known as Newt Blingrich!

THIS JUST IN:  Just wondering, but whatever happened to Joe the Plumber?

BREAKING NEWS:  This was an interesting report from NewsHounds: “Sean Hannity’s Great American Panel unanimously and emphatically broke ranks with Hannity last night (6/29/11) as each panelist agreed that Donald Trump’s birtherism was offensive and racist. Predictably, white-rights enthusiast Hannity argued otherwise. But as the panel continued to denounce birtherism, he said, “It never was my issue.” Hannity didn’t care to enlighten us as to the definition of “his issue,” but if repeatedly giving airtime and legitimacy to suggestions that there was something fishy about President Obama’s birth certificate – even after he had produced it – counts, then it certainly was Hannity’s issue. Of course, it’s also quite possible Hannity knew all along it was a bogus controversy but he was willing to cast aside truth, accuracy and evidence in order to hit at Obama. The fact that there was a racial angle to the whole thing probably made it all the more tantalizing.

THIS JUST IN: Fox News comment of the week. Headline: “Guard chief: Iran Can Build Longer-Rangemissiles.” Fox News comment: “An intelligent President would have already blew Iran off the map and not wait until they can pose more of a threat to other people. Nuke them.” “Nuff said.

BREAKING NEWS:  Lynnrockets’ idea of the week. Kill two birds with one stone and give Glenn Beck‘s former time-slot to Joe the Plumber.

THIS JUST IN:  What is the real story behind Sarah Palin and her alleged jury duty?

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s pseudo-rap inspired song parody.

Loser song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ut5A_r5iiOg

SHE”S A PINHEAD, BABY

(sung to the Beck song “Loser”)

From the town of Wasilla, she’s like Godzilla
She’s lame in the brain and she endorsed Joseph Miller
With her winking eyeballs, Sarah loves those catcalls
Barbie doll shouts out to those G.I. Joes
On the far right they think she’s beautiful
Sarah Palin is a loser with no self-control
Sarah’s the Queen-O of the Tea Party
Just a bunch of dumb slouches marching to her beat
Pundits keep sayin’ she’s insane with no brain
Her daughter’s shotgun wedding was blasted into dirt
She writes crib-notes just below her sleeve
She was a Governor for awhile but she said she had to leave
She shoves her face in each race with her bark
Hates people with food stamps that live in those big trailer parks

Yo, cut it

Oh, gosh darn it don’t you know
She’s a pinhead baby, the pride of Wasilly
(Double-barrel buckshot)
Oh, gosh darn it don’t you know
She’s a pinhead baby, the pride of Wasilly

Palin is evil, thank John for this nightmare
Blasts country music in her book-signing chamber
Just a scheming weasel and she comes wrapped in a flag
Hails from the North Pole, this oil-pimping Tea-Hag
Loves her “Sixpack Joes” cuz First Dude has no job
Nothing more than Sarah’s house-husband slob
Sarah-baby pulls all of the strings
Snapped a turkey’s neck while she’s talking on that TV thing
She can’t write and she can’t debate
Stealing cash like a thief from her fans that think she’s great
Never bothers with any facts, … she’s wrong more than she’s right
While preachin’ to her minions

Oh, gosh darn it don’t you know
She’s a pinhead baby, the pride of Wasilly
(She’s in the stardumb bizznizz)
Oh, gosh darn it don’t you know
She’s a pinhead baby, the pride of Wasilly
(“Thanks but no thanks”)

Yo, bring her down

Soooooooooooo…
(She’s a liar, she’s a sinner, brings no hope or change, can’t you feel it?)

Oh, gosh darn it don’t you know
She’s a pinhead baby, the pride of Wasilly
(She says, “also too”)
Oh, gosh darn it don’t you know
She’s a pinhead baby, the pride of Wasilly
Oh, gosh darn it don’t you know
She’s a pinhead baby, the pride of Wasilly
(Is that her baby?)
Oh, gosh darn it don’t you know
She’s a pinhead baby, the pride of Wasilly
(Know what I’m sayin’?)

A Saturday List To Think About And Comment Upon

Please read this list and then describe what thought comes to mind in the comment section:

  • Glenn Beck
  • Ron Paul
  • Rush Limbaugh
  • Donald Trump
  • Michelle Malkin
  • Newt Gingrich
  • Ann Coulter
  • Michele Bachmann
  • Sean Hannity
  • Sarah Palin
  • Laura Ingraham
  • Rand Paul
  • Tucker Carlson
  • Rudi Giuliani
  • Christine O’Donnell
  • Larry Craig
  • Michael Savage
  • David Vitter
  • Scott Brown
  • Dick Morris
  • Fox News
  • Dick Cheney
  • Tea Party

Here’s what comes to my mind:

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Strangers In The Night song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hlSbSKNk9f0&feature=related

STRANGE ONES ON THE RIGHT

(sung to the Frank Sinatra song “Strangers In The Night”)

Strange ones on the right,
Fox News romancers
Not so very bright,
With our finances
This Tea Party love
Should be viewed as taboo

Palin shouting lies
And fear inciting
Rand Paul is hostile
And so damn frightening
Boehner has no heart
McConnell has no clue

Strange ones on the right,
Abnormal people
They are strange ones on the right
Not one sane moment
They should be in a freak-show
Little do they know
It would just enhance our day
If like Bristol they’d dance away and –

And on Fox every night,
They’re all together
Lovers on the right
In love forever
It’s an ugly sight
Those strange ones on the right

(Tea-Bagging break)

Don’t look now just glance away
Here comes their jailbird Tom Delay

You can join their fight
And hang together
Only if you’re white
Birds of a feather
Taking their last flight
Those strange ones on the right

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 78

Just a few newsworthy items (and comments thereon) that have been making their way through the political universe this past week but may have escaped your attention. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful day!

BREAKING NEWS:  Former U.S. Sen. George Mitchell (a Bowdoin College alum I might add) is resigning as the Obama administration’s Mideast envoy. Mitchell played a key role in Clinton-era negotiations regarding the status of Northern Ireland that resulted in the Good Friday Peace Agreement. This is not good news.

THIS JUST IN:  In the latest AP poll, 60% of respondents said they approved of Barack Obama‘s job performance, compared to 39% who disapproved. That’s the best rating Obama has received since May 2009 when, riding high after his inauguration, 64% of Americans approved of his job performance. This is good news.

BREAKING NEWS:  In other polling news, Public Policy Polling, found Donald Trump garnering only 8 percent of potential Republican primary voters, down from 26 percent who said they would support him if he ran in PPP’s previous survey. That plunge in support was enough to drop him from a solid first place to a tie for fifth place. So much for The Donald and his birther obsession!

THIS JUST IN:  This week’s episode of “Fighting The Good Fight” features Bernie Sanders and Jim McDermott. Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-Vt.) announced this week that he introduced legislation to provide health care for every American through a Medicare-for-all type single-payer system. Rep. Jim McDermott (D-Wash.) filed a companion bill in the House to provide better care for more patients at less cost by eliminating the middle-man role played by private insurance companies that rake off billions of dollars in profits. The twin measures, both called the American Health Security Act of 2011, would provide federal guidelines and strong minimum standards for states to administer single-payer health care programs.

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Really Distorted And Creepy Remakes Of School-House Rock” features failed 2008 GOP candidate for President, Mike Huckabee and his “Learn Our History” cartoon series. Have a look:

Sure makes you pine for “Conjunction Junction” doesn’t it?

THIS JUST IN: The Tea Party Patriots are advocating an initiative to pressure public schools into teaching the US Constitution based on the writings of W. Cleon Skousen who has suggested such outlandish things as slaves being a happy bunch of folks. MotherJones.com however, informs us that Doug Kendall, President of the Constitutional Accountability Center (a think tank and public interest law firm) is none to happy about this development. He says,

“I defy the Tea Party Patriots to find one credible historian willing to support their view of the Constitution’s history. Before the Tea Party gets to go into school and teach our children about the Constitution, they need to find a tenured professor on the history faculty on one of any of the 50 highest-rated universities in the United States who will vouch for the accuracy of their teachings. To qualify to teach America’s children about the Constitution you need to do more than dress up like James Madison.

The Tea Party Patriots are peddling constitutional gobbledygook masquerading as history. Yet whether it is Tea Party organizations misrepresenting American history, or Tea Party politicians like Rep. Michele Bachmann not knowing what state the battles of Lexington and Concord were fought in, the Tea Party has utterly disqualified itself from serious discussion of our Constitution’s text and history. America’s school boards must flatly reject the Tea Party Patriots’ attempts to muscle their bad history into our children’s classrooms.”

Bravo, Mr. Kendall!

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Republicans Behaving Badly” features the recently resigned GOP Sen. John Ensign. NPR.org reports, “Former Sen. John Ensign of Nevada broke federal law, made false statements to the Federal Election Commission and obstructed a Senate Ethics Committee’s investigation into his conduct, the panel said Thursday in a scathing report that sent the matter to the Justice Department for possible prosecution.” Ouch, that is gonna leave a mark!

THIS JUST IN:  Former failed GOP presidential candidate Mike Huckabee(Hound) announced last night that he will not run again in 2012. He joins other Republican scaredy-cats Haley Barbour, Marco Rubio, Chris Christy, Jeb Bush, Jim Demint, Bobby Jindal and Sarah Palin.

BREAKING NEWS:  This week’s episode of “I Double Dare You” features New jersey high school student Amy Myers who is is challenging Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN) to a debate on civics and the U.S. Constitution. In an open letter to to Bachmann, Myers of Cherry Hill, N.J., said, “I have found quite a few of your statements regarding The Constitution of the United States, the quality of public school education and general U.S. civics matters to be factually incorrect, inaccurately applied or grossly distorted.” “I, Amy Myers, do hereby challenge Representative Michele Bachmann to a Public Forum Debate and/or Fact Test on The Constitution of the United States, United States History and United States Civics.” I’ll take Myers in this one!

THIS JUST IN:  After President Obama announced that he would not release photos of the slain Osama bin Laden because the terrorist “is not a trophy” and “we (i.e the US) do not need to spike the football” and because it would inflame the Muslim world and endanger our troops, conservative windbag Ann Coulter felt the need to speak up. While appearing on Sean Hannity’s Fox News (where else?) program, Coulter chastised the President and said, “We paid for it, we ought to be able to see it.” He then went on to insult the president by saying, “he seems to know less about Arabs than, you know, my dog. Certainly, this Irishman from Long Island knows more.” Who in the wide, wide world of Fox News is “the the Irishman from Long island”? He then wondered off into the ridiculous by saying, ” he’s spiking the football from now until Election Day on this. So, don’t talk down to us about your moral superiority, we don’t need a victory lap. That’s beyond us. And Americans can’t handle this? I think Americans just handled what you showed on your program. And if Americans can handle Hillary Clinton’s ankles, they can handle this photo.” Hilary Clinton’s ankles? Really, can this guy ever have a conversation without delving into the inane? Ann Coulter just might be the shallowest man in America.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Lola song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WJiHp-2CmVY

COULTER

(sung to the Kinks song “Lola”)

I saw her once last week on the Fox network
Where the hosts are lame and the guests are worse like Ann Coulter
She is a revolter
A big Adam’s Apple and masculine hands
She has the curves of a flagpole and a set of big huge molars
M-o-l-a molars mo-mo-mo-mo molars

It might be the world’s most unfunny joke
But if he’s a lady then my glasses are broke
That Ann Coulter co-co-co-co Coulter
Well I’m not dumb but I can’t understand
Why he walks like a woman but looks like a man
That Ann Coulter co-co-co-co Coulter co-co-co-co Coulter

Well he sat right next to Hannity
And then was on Bill O’Reilly
They saw mascara on his eyes so blue
But I swear those guys didn’t have a damn clue
Well I don’t know if they are into men
But the next night on Fox he was on there again that Ann Coulter
Co-co-co-co Coulter co-co-co-co Coulter
Coulter co-co-co-co Coulter co-co-co-co Coulter

I changed the station
M-S-N-B-C
Re-luct-ant-ly
I then turned back to Fox
Then I was convinced she was a he

Well I don’t know what ol Rush Limbaugh thinks
But I like women, not some missing link-like Ann Coulter
Co-co-co-co Coulter’s
he says that her wisdom sells his books
It’s gotta be somethin’ cuz it ain’t his good looks that Ann Coulter
Co-co-co-co Coulter

I took a closer look at Hannity
Now I’m not really so sure that he’s not a she
But this might be the Republican way
A sex change is good cuz then you’re not gay

Well I’m not the world’s most masculine man
And I do not possess giant, hairy man-hands
Like that Mann Coulter
Co-co-co-co Coulter co-co-co-co Coulter
Coulter co-co-co-co Coulter co-co-co-co Coulter

(fade)

Hannity and Malkin: A Fox News Duo of Dimwittery

By now, everyone that pays attention has heard about the brutal sexual assault in Egypt of Lara Logan, the CBS News journalist. While reporting on the celebration by Egyptian protesters which erupted when it was announced that President Hosni Mubarak was stepping down, Logan was somehow separated from her security team and thereafter was brutally sexually assaulted for a period of 20 to 30 minutes. It is assumed that the attack was carried out by some protesters. After the assault, Logan immediately returned to the United States where she received medical treatment. She has since been released from the hospital and she plans to return to work in the very near future. She suffered a terrible ordeal and most everyone hopes that she recovers both physically and emotionally.

Those are the facts. That is what has been reported on the Lara Logan situation. That being said however, the folks over at Fox News have decided to put the conservative spin on things. As usual, the network has elected to provide an unfair and unbalanced assessment of the situation. One example is the misinformation and spin by Sean Hannity and his guest Michelle Malkin on Wednesday evening.

On “Hannity”, the host briefly repeated the facts as we know them, but then he jumped right into the spin and misinformation with his guest. Hannity said, “And I read this and I was thinking about, you know – wasn’t this supposed to be the peaceful demonstration and we have one journalist after another…” First of all he was mistaken by blaming all of the journalist harassment incidents on one side. It appears at this point in time that Logan was attacked by anti-Mubarak protesters but many other journalists were attacked by pro-Mubarak supporters and officials. Indeed, just 8 days prior to her sexual assault, Lara Logan and her crew were arrested and beaten and jailed by the Egyptian police. Logan said of that incident, “We were not attacked by crazy people in Tahrir Square. We were detained by the Egyptian army. Arrested, detained, and interrogated. Blindfolded, handcuffed, taken at gunpoint, our driver beaten. It’s the regime that arrested us. They arrested [our producer] just outside of his hotel, and they took him off the road at gunpoint, threw him against the wall, handcuffed him, blindfolded him. Took him into custody like that.” Hannity however, made no distinction and failed to report the true set of circumstances. Moreover, he implied that the civilian uprising was far more violent than the mainstream media would lead us to believe despite the fact that as far as uprisings go, the Egyptian uprising was far more peaceful than most.

Michelle Malkin then jumped in and correctly stated, “It’s monstrous. Many women, in particular, will tell you this is business as usual for many parts of the Middle East.” This is true, it has been widely reported that  “gropings” and “assaults” of women have been witnessed throughout the uprising. It is no secret that women are treated as second-class citizens (and/or chattel) in many parts of the Middle Eastern world.

Yet as soon as she said that, Malkin began her conservative and baseless spin. She said, “I think that if CBS News and the rest of the mainstream media want to do right by her and right by all the other journalists who were attacked last week and over the course of the last two weeks, what they will do is finally find some spine and refuse to whitewash the truth about who these assailants were, what they were motivated by.” She then went on to continue criticizing the mainstream media (i.e. any media other than Fox News) by failing to report on “the root causes of anti-Americanism that is festering in these places in the Middle East”.

First of all, somebody at Fox should have informed Michelle Malkin that Lara Logan is not American. She is a South African (perhaps her accent should have been a clue). Secondly, Malkin failed to mention that during the attack, onlookers were reported to have been shouting “Jew, Jew, Jew”. It has been pretty well established over the years that Muslims and Jews do not always hold each other in the highest esteem. Perhaps Malkin missed that memo. In fact, it is interesting to note that when Logan and her crew were arrested by the military a week earlier, it was on suspicion that they were Israeli spies. There is nothing to suggest that Lara logan’s assault had anything to do with anti-Americanism.

It is somewhat understandable as to why Fox News always misrepresents facts and even lies to simplify a story. It is network policy to ensure that every story reinforces the radically conservative right-wing agenda. Additionally, complicated story-lines are simply beyond the grasp of the simple-minded Fox News hosts and their audience. Fox and its audience operate only on the simplest of mathematical equations:

Americans = Always good; Foreign Nations = Always bad; Republicans = Always good; Democrats = Always bad; War = Always good; Peace = Always bad

There you have it.

Inasmuch as both Sean Hannity and Michelle Malkin had a starring role in today’s blog post, Lynnrockets will treat you Rocketeers to a double dose of song parody. Please enjoy.

Please remember to click on the song links below to familiarize yourselves with the tunes and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parodies.

Saturday In The Park song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v5bhBSb92LY

HANNITY IN THE DARK

(sung to the Chicago song “Saturday In The Park”)

Hannity in the dark
You’d think that he would open his eyes
Hannity in the dark
It’s rhetoric that the reich wing buys
Keeps us barfing, keeps us laughing
The man is a lame-brain
G.O.P. talking points
Ixnay on the truthiness
Do you dig it? (no, we don’t)
And he’s been at it such a long time
Sean Hannity

Hannity in the dark
You’d think that he would open his eyes
Hannity in the dark
It’s rhetoric that the reich wing buys
His tough talking, while he’s smiling
Scared of waterboarding
Chicken-hawk with gall
Olbermann exposed the fool
Can you dig it? (yes, we can)
And Alan Colmes was such a nice guy
Yesterday

Slow thinking dropout without a college degree
A bought man just can shill for the G.O.P.
Fox News execs know they’re his boss
Know they’re his boss (oh, yeah, yeah)

In a daze, in the dark
Every day’s a day full of lies
In a haze, off the mark
He’s just like Limbaugh in disguise
Embellishing and misleading
An abomination
Like the Berlin Wall
An idiot, pitching a fit
Can you dig it? (no, we can’t)
And he’s been at it such a long time
Hannity

The Monster Mash song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FeZftK2kO6U

THE MALKIN MASH

(sung to the Bobby “Boris” Pickett song “Monster Mash”)

She was mouthing off with gab late one night
Malkin’s strange visage, an eerie sight
My blood pressure and pulse both began to rise
What’s up with that weird lazy eye?

She’s talkin’ trash
She did the Malkin mash
The Malkin mash
I think she has a rash
She does the mash
She must be smokin’ hash
She does the mash
She did the Malkin mash

She was ruminating on Obama’s speech
When her logic and her brains went to the beach
We knew she was lying by her growing nose
Inside her skull, a mighty wind blows

She’s talkin’ trash
She did the Malkin mash
The Malkin mash
I think she has a rash
She does the mash
She must be smokin’ hash
She does the mash
She did the Malkin mash

Dear Malkin was having fun
Her air-time had just begun
It was quite apparent that
Michelle had come undone

The show was rockin’ with her babbling sounds
Michelle spewing sentences without nouns
There were blood-shot lines in her crazy ass eyes
One thing missing was the strait-jacket guys

She’s talkin’ trash
She did the Malkin mash
The Malkin mash
I think she has a rash
She does the mash
She must be smokin’ hash
She does the mash
She did the Malkin mash

Out from the closet came the Coulter thing
He was wearing his decoder ring
Waving it round because he was pissed
Have you ever seen so much hair on anybody’s fist?

She’s talkin’ trash
She did the Malkin mash
The Malkin mash
I think she has a rash
She does the mash
She must be smokin’ hash
She does the mash
She did the Malkin mash

Now everything’s cool, Coulter hid his big hand
And Malkin’s diatribe was critically panned
It was one giant laugh if it was viewed
Next time we see that jerk, she is sure to be booed.

She’s talkin’ trash
She did the Malkin mash
The Malkin mash
I think she has a rash
She does the mash
She must be smokin’ hash
She does the mash
She did the Malkin mash

Palin Says Santorum Is A “Knuckle-Dragging Neanderthal” – Priceless!

Palin vs. Santorum

As we have said so many times in the past, there is nothing more entertaining than watching Republicans eat their young. This week we were treated to a battle-royale between former Republican Senator Rick Santorum and former reality television star Sarah Palin. Both are potential G.O.P. candidates for the 2012 Presidential election.

The first punch was thrown by Rick “Man On Dog” Santorum who is primarily known for once comparing homosexuality with having sex with a dog. While being interviewed on television last week, Santorum was asked why Sarah Palin turned down the keynote speaking role at the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) for the 4th consecutive year. CPAC is the premier annual conference of national conservatives which takes place every February. Santorum responded, “I don’t know, I have the feeling she has a lot of demands on her time and a lot of them have a financial benefit.” He was then asked if he would have turned it down and he said, “No, but then I don’t live in Alaska.”

There is no doubt that Santorum implied that Palin believes that making money is more important to her than promoting the conservative cause (there is no speaking fee paid by CPAC). Would Palin take the bait? Let’s put it this way, does the earth revolve around the sun?

You guessed it. Palin appeared on “Hannity” on Fox News (where else?) a few nights later and called Santorum a “knuckle-dragging neanderthal”. A picture is worth a thousand words, so let’s go to the tape:

For Sarah palin, the punches from Republicans and establishment conservatives just keep on comin’. Karl Rove, Barbara Bush, Lindsey Graham, Bill Kristol, Newt Gingrich and now Rick Santorum have all jabbed Palin. Who will be next.

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topicalsong parody.

Kung Fu Fighting song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jhUkGIsKvn0

KUNG FU FIGHTING

(sung to the Carl Douglas song “Kung Fu Fighting”)

Oh – oh – oh – oh…

Sarah Palin was kung fu fighting
Her words were crude and biting
In fact she is a little bit frightening
And she has the worst of timing

One day funky Santorum put Sarah Palin down
He was chopping her up and he was talking her down
His words gave Sarah a start and then she tore Ricky apart
She was shooting from the hip; when she gave Ricky some lip

Rick and Sarah were kung fu fighting
Their words were tear-inciting
We wish they had put them in writing
Boy, they had the worst of timing

She said, “knuckle dragging Rick, you better bite your tongue”
He said “I am the big boss, you best be gone”
She said, “this crib-note on my hand says I’m worth one-hundred grand”
He said, “you missed the CPAC trip, so you could fill your money clip”

Rick and Sarah were kung fu fighting
Their words were crude and biting
We wish they had put them in writing
Boy, they had the worst of timing

Oh – oh – oh – oh…

Rick and Sarah were kung fu fighting
Their words were crude and biting
We wish they had put them in writing
Boy, they had the worst of timing

Oh – oh – oh – oh…
Keep on fighting
Those cats are frightening

Oh – oh – oh – oh…(to fade)

The Alternative Universe Known As Fox News

Oh, where to begin?  If you are brave enough to ever tune into the Teapublican propaganda network known as Fox News, you will quickly realize that it is like visiting a parallel universe. Sort of a mirror image of the world we live in but where most things like logic, history and facts are diametrically opposite from those in our reality. You know, like when you gaze into the looking glass and notice that your left hand appears to be on the right and your hair is parted on the other side of your head? That is the world of the Fox News host and guests.

As evidence of this alternative reality, let’s take a gander at some of the things that happened in just the last week or so in the world of Fox. There was the absolute meltdown by Bill O’Reilly when milquetoast liberal Alan Colmes refused to sit idle when O’Reilly and co-host Monica Crowley (who, by the way, is Colmes sister-in-law) unequivocally said that members of the far left in this country are anti-American. The context of the discussion was criticism by O’Reilly and Crowley of former ABC News anchor Sam Donaldson when he praised Al Jazeera for continuing to cover the Egyptian uprising. Noting that Egypt had shut down Al Jazeera, Colmes said to O’Reilly and Crowley, “I would think a populist like you would support Al Jazeera and freedom of the press… I would think that as a journalist, you would take the side of Al Jazeera.” O’Reilly countered that his beef with Al Jazeera was its lack of balance, that there was never anyone on to counter its anti-American message. Oh, you can just taste the irony of a Fox host complaining about the imbalance of coverage on a news network. The next time that Glenn Beck or Sean Hannity has a credible Democratic guest on their programs to counter their criticisms of Barack Obama or Nancy Pelosi or Harry Reid will be the very first time. The best part of the program was when Colmes asked both O’Reilly and Crowley to specifically name a person on the far left who is anti-American and neither could or was willing to do so. Let’s go to the tape.

So let’s get this straight, O’Reilly and Crowley do not like Al Jazeera because it spreads propaganda and is not “fair and balanced”. Hmmm.

Next up, we have the aforementioned Glenn Beck. We really shouldn’t expect much sense from Beck in that his college education consisted of one course. Not one year or one semester mind you, ONE COURSE. If that were not enough to disqualify him from being considered a qualified news source, consider his multiple marriages and confessed drug and alcohol addiction as an indication of his lack of self control and commitment. This week Beck too chimed in on the Egyptian uprising and boy oh boy did he come up with the conspiracy theory to beat all conspiracy theories. In short, he stated that the long-oppressed Egyptian people are in the streets protesting an autocratic leader because of a plan written in The Coming Insurrection, which is an obscure book that French police believe was written by a member of a small group of anarchists. He then claims that the result of the Egyptian protest will be….Oh, let’s just read it in Beck’s own words…

I believe that I can make a case in the end that there are three powers that you will see really emerge. One, a Muslim caliphate that controls the Mideast and parts of Europe. Two, China, that will control Asia, the southern half of Africa, part of the Middle East, Australia, maybe New Zealand, and God only knows what else. And Russia, which will control all of the old former Soviet Union bloc, plus maybe the Netherlands. I’m not really sure. But their strong arm is coming. That leaves us and South America. What happens to us?

These are nothing other than the crazed rantings of a delusional person. Thus, they are the perfect stuff to broadcast on Fox News. Is it any wonder that Glenn Beck has lost virtually all of his sponsors and at least a third of his audience in the last year?

Shall we move on to Sean Hannity? His take on the certain outcome of the Egyptian uprising is that there cannot be a resultant democracy. In fact he said that the only popular uprising he knows of which has ever resulted in a democracy was in Iraq. Now putting aside for the moment the fact that there was no “popular uprising” in Iraq and that actually the United States invaded Iraq and toppled its government, Hannity is still an imbecile when it comes to historical uprisings. Indeed, it took comedian Stephen Colbert to remind him of the popular uprisings in the Czech Republic, India, France, Poland, East Germany and THE UNITED STATES, all of which resulted in democracies.

Over at Fox News they certainly have a strange crew that has been drinking some strange brew. I bet you Rocketeers can guess where this one is going!

“Strange Brew” song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_NholHANoY

STRANGE CREW

(sung to the Cream song “Strange Brew”)

Strange crew
They’ve got there at Fox News

Does that Sean Hannity have a new hairdo?
And will Bill O’Reilly go back on “The View”
No clue
And what will Glenn Beck do?

Strange crew
They’ve got there at Fox News

There’s a long-faced sullen man that’s named Brit Hume
And a blonde-haired guy named Ann Coulter, too
Pee-you
That’s just to name a few

Strange crew
They’ve got there at Fox News

(Misinformation break)

They have a dumb Alaskan known as Sarah P.
And a weekend wimp named Mike Huckabee
Good Lord
Could they be more abhorred?

Strange crew
They’ve got there at Fox News

Strange crew, strange crew
Strange crew, strange crew

Strange crew
They’ve got there at Fox News

Even Liberals Sometimes Get Duped – D’oh!

We all love to laugh at Fox News hosts, right wing radio pundits and conservative politicians when they fall for a prank. Case in point: when Sarah Palin took that embarrassing phone call from a Canadian disc jockey posing as French President, Nicolas Sarkozy. Yet to be fair, we progressives must admit that it happens to our folks every once in awhile also, too.

Last night it was MSNBC‘s Rachel Maddow that was duped. BusinessInsider.com reports that she called attention to a story on the website Christwire that was advocating for Sarah Palin to lead an American invasion into Egypt. Admittedly, that story does not sound all that far fetched when one considers some of Palin’s past prescriptions such as fixing the BP oil leak by means of Norwegian dykes. Nonetheless, you would expect just a little fact checking from the usually meticulous Maddow team. Had they done so, they would have learned that Christwire is a satirical site.

Shortly after the broadcast, Maddow’s folks did in fact catch the mistake. Maddow issued a Twitter tweet which read,

“The bad news about a free and open internet? Sometimes you get had by brilliant satirists. Christwire: 1 TRMS: 0”

Here is the embarrassing broadcast:

We love you Rachel, but please do not let this happen again. Your standards are too high to be lumped in with the likes of Beck, Hannity and Limbaugh. Strike one, but she is still at the plate.

By the way Rachel, the following is Egyptian President, Hosni Mubarak in more popular days!

UPDATE:  Still snowing like crazy in Boston!

Does Sarah Palin Read Lynnrockets’ Blast-Off?

Boy, what a coincidence. Or was it? Remember, Sarah Palin says that she does not believe in coincidences. Nevertheless, it is peculiar that on the very evening after we posted a blog entry which postulated that potential G.O.P. presidential nominee rivals Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann may be in a cat-fight of iced-tea proportions, Palin appears on Fox News (where else?) and purrs complementary sweet nothings in the direction of Bachmann. You have to wonder, does palin ever find herself humming along to any of those song parodies? Probably not, but it would be humorous!

We wrote yesterday that the throne of the Tea Party is in dispute. Sarah Palin, the former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska held the title of Queen of the Tea Baggers from the movement’s inception right on up to her disastrous “I Was The Actual Victim Of The Tucson Massacre” speech. Palin’s reign of terror was publicly broadcast to America on a near daily basis by means of her Facebook posts, Twitter tweets, Fox News appearances and her un-reality television series. Her hogging of the national “lamestream” media spotlight ensured that she was perceived as the undisputed champion of the radical, educationally challenged, colonial attire-wearing, gun-toting, hateful rhetoric-spewing, right-wing gang of zealots known as the Tea Party.

During that time however, Teapublican Congresswoman Michele Bachmann was planning her coup. Bachmann shared all the same misguided beliefs and encouraged all the same ill-conceived policies as Palin and the Tea Baggers, but she was not in everyone’s face all the time. Moreover, Bachmann was different from Palin because she is one of those “inside the beltway” Washington insiders inasmuch as she is in her third term as a Representative from Minnesota. Indeed, it was Bachmann who attempted to round up all the other like-minded Washington insiders when she formed the congressional Tea Party caucus. Bachmann seemed to be waiting for the moment when Palin slipped, at which point she would seize control of the Tea Baggers.

That moment arose on January 8, 2011 when Representative Gabrielle Giffords and others were shot in Tucson. The shooting immediately focused criticism on Palin for her eerily predictive sniper-sight laden map which identified Ms. Giffords as a target. Inasmuch as Palin was so intrinsically tied to the Tea Party, that movement also came under fire from many Americans. Palin went into hiding after her appearance on “Hannity” in which she unsuccessfully tried to rehabilitate her image. The Tea Party in turn, realized that if it was to maintain any type of credibility it should distance itself from Palin for awhile until things cooled off. Bachmann then seized the opportunity to grab the Tea Party spotlight. Her coup was completed when she (not Palin) gave the official Tea Party response to President Obama’s State of the Union Address on Tuesday evening. As we said yesterday  morning, we may have just witnessed the dawning of the age of Bachmann.

Sarah Palin must have witnessed the same thing also, too. She suddenly appeared on Greta Van Susteren’s program on Fox News (where else) last night and attempted to mend fences with Bachmann in an obvious effort to regain some relevance within the Tea Bagger movement. She defended Bachmann’s ill-advised decision to give a Tea Party response which was separate and apart from the official G.O.P. response to the President’s SOTUA. Many pundits and mainstream Republican congressional leaders believed that the bifurcated responses may have signaled a rift within the party. Indeed, when asked whether he watched Bachmann’s response, House Speaker John Boehner (pronounced “boner”) bluntly replied, “No I did not. I had other obligations”. Palin on the other hand, said, “I love it when anybody goes rogue for the right reasons” and “We believe in competition, even within our own party…and we don’t have just the fighting instincts of a bunch of sheep, like I think a lot of Democrats do.”

Sarah Palin’s efforts may have at least won over one unlikely person. Although she has been one of Palin’s most outspoken critics, Meghan McCain (daughter of John McCain) apparently likes Michele Bachmann even less. In a very backhanded complement to Caribou Barbie, she called Bachmann “a poor man’s Sarah Palin” on MSNBC last evening (see below).

Whether Sarah Palin’s overture of support to Michele Bachmann has won over any Tea Baggers remains to be seen. For all intents and purposes, Bachmann remains the new reigning monarch of the Tea Party. For now.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Foxy Lady song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DnkYatAT7NE

FOXY LADIES

(sung to the Jimi Hendrix song “Foxy Lady”)

Foxy
Foxy

These two, they’re a couple of smart-fakers
Foxy
But they’re just a couple of hate-mongers
Foxy

Fox makes them feel at home
Do they have any charm? No!
But they’re on all the time, prime-time
Ooh, Foxy ladies

Foxy
Foxy

Palin, she’s just so spiteful and mean
Ooh, Foxy
She makes us wanna get up and scream
Foxy
And Michele Bachmann now
Has just lost her mind
They’re both just wasting all our precious time
But Fox thinks they’re fine, so fine
Foxy Ladies
They’re so dumb

Foxy
Foxy
Foxy
Foxy

Yeah, just listen to them drone
As they sound they’re alarms, Whoa
Fox says they are so fine, prime-time
Foxy ladies

They’re just dumb ladies
We’d love to forget ya
Foxy ladies
You’re both no good
Yeah, Foxy
You’re both so dumb
Foxy
Sour lemonade
You’re spreadin’ fear. Yikes
Night and day on Foxy
Foxy
Foxy ladies
Foxy ladies

Sunday Mid-Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 67

Just a few newsworthy events (and comments thereon) that have been making their way through the political universe this past week. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful day!

BREAKING NEWS: The family of Christina Taylor Green, the nine-year-old girl killed when a gunman opened fire on Rep. Gabrielle Giffords at a “Congress on Your Corner” event, has donated some of her organs, and they are already saving another child’s life. Some of her organs were transplanted to a little girl from Boston.

THIS JUST IN: Speaking of transplants, it has been reported that former Vice President and Torturer in Chief, Dick Cheney may require a heart transplant. Is anyone else out there surprised to learn that he had one in the first place?

BREAKING NEWS:  Joe Lieberman, the sometimes Democrat, sometimes Republican Senator from Connecticut has announced that he will retire at the end of his term. At least this way his dismissal from the Senate will be on his own terms and not those of the Connecticut voters. Hey Joe, don’t let the door hit you in one of your two faces on the way out!

THIS JUST IN: North Dakota’s Blue-Dog Democratic Senator Kent Conrad has also announced that he will not seek re-election. Conrad was one of the Democrats who helped sink the public option during the health care reform debates. Hey Kent, please take note of what we had to say to fellow traitor Joe Lieberman just above!

BREAKING NEWS: Speaking of health care reform, the state of Vermont may be moving towards a single payer system. The Bennington Banner reports that Vermont’s congressional delegation joined Governor Peter Shumlin Tuesday to announce legislation that would allow states to seek federal health care waivers in 2014, and the flexibility to craft their own state-level health care plans. Landmark health care reform legislation signed into law last year by President Barack Obama provides states the option of seeking a federal waiver to opt out of some requirements of the bill as long as certain standards are maintained. That provision was sought by U.S. Sen. Bernie Sanders, a Vermont independent. Shumlin, a Democrat sworn in to office earlier this month, promised during the campaign that he would seek a single-payer health care system for the state. Let’s hear it for the progressive state of Vermont!

THIS JUST IN: The polar opposite of Vermont of course, is the backward state of Alabama. Speaking on Martin Luther King Jr. Day in the very church where Dr. King once pastored, new Alabama Governor Robert Bentley gave a speech in which he said that those who have not accepted Jesus Christ as their savior are not his “brothers.” How is that for an all inclusive Republican umbrella?

BREAKING NEWS: The Reagan boys may be bickering as to whether or not their father, Ronald Reagan had lost his mind while in office, but former CBS reporter Leslie Stahl knows the truth. In the book she published in 2000, Reporting Live, Stahl recounts a disturbing encounter she had with Reagan in the summer of 1986. Stahl was finishing up a stint as CBS News’ White House correspondent, and she was awarded the customary farewell audience with the president. She wrote,

“…Reagan didn’t seem to know who I was. He gave me a distant look with those milky eyes and shook my hand weakly. Oh, my, he’s gonzo, I thought. I have to go out on the lawn tonight and tell my countrymen that the president of the United States is a doddering space cadet. My heart began to hammer with the import…I was aware of the delicacy with which I would have to write my script. But I was quite sure of my diagnosis.”

THIS JUST IN: We are happy to report that both Glenn Beck and Sean Hannity had their nationally syndicated radio shows dropped from WPHT in Philadelphia, which is the second radio station to drop both of the conservative commentators. A few weeks ago Beck was dropped from station WOR in New York, and Hannity was dropped from KSL Radio in Utah. Speculation is that poor ratings and an industry-wide advertiser desire to distance itself from the rhetoric spouted by hate radio may have been the catalyst for the cancellations.

BREAKING NEWS: The most recent Washington Post/ABC poll reveals that 52% of Americans now hold unfavorable views of the Tea Party which is a new high. Only 35% like the Tea Baggers which is the same percentage that hold favorable views of Saudi Arabia. Shockingly, more Americans favor Russia (47%) and socialism (36%) over the Tea Party.

THIS JUST IN: Lynnrockets is by no means a fan of Howard Stern, but he uttered one of the more memorable lines about Sarah Palin this week. No, we are not referring to his expletive-laced diatribe against the Queen of Quit. We liked this one simple sentence: “This woman is a vomit.” Short and to the point.

GO PACKERS!!!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody which features the whole bunch of conservatives.

California Dreamin’ song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2xN9r0bWe78

CONSERVATIVE DREAMIN’

(sung to the Mamas & The Papas song “California Dreamin’”)

All their shirts are brown
(All their shirts are brown)
And their hair is grey
(And their hair is grey)
Listen to them talk
(Listen to them talk)
As they loudly pray
(As they loudly pray)
Scandal is their norm
(Scandal is their norm)
They have one every day
(They have one every day)
Conservative dreamin’
(Conservative dreamin’)
And politics of hate

Members of John Birch
Some won’t admit they’re gay
But when they get down on their knees
(Get down on their knees)
That’s when they like to play
(When they like to play)
These slimy creatures should be told
(Creatures should be told)
Membership’s gone away
(Members gone away)
Conservative dreamin’
(Conservative dreamin’)
Has led them all astray

(musical interlude)

Glenn Beck is a clown
(Glenn Beck is a clown)
What does Limbaugh weigh?
(What does Limbaugh weigh?)
Palin cannot talk
(Palin cannot talk)
She’s no Tina Fey
(She’s no Tina Fey)
Somebody should tell her
(Somebody should tell her)
To just go away
(To just go away)
Conservative dreamin’
(Conservative dreamin’)
Has become so cliché
(Conservative dreamin’)
Has lost all its cache´
(Conservative dreamin’)
Drives voters all away