Daily Archives: September 16, 2010

Anybody Up For The Clash?

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Palin-Endorsed O’Donnell Is Gift To Democrats

"My opponent is GAY!"

The Tea Party may have just handed another victory to the Democrats in the upcoming mid-term elections. Those radical fringe fanatics that brought  Democratic Party candidates back from the dead in Nevada, Kentucky and Alaska by means of  Sharron Angle, Rand Paul and Joe Miller have just done it again. This time the Tea-Baggers have sand-bagged the Republicans in Delaware.

On Tuesday, Republican/Tea Party infighting bestowed a wonderful gift on Democratic Senatorial candidate Chris Coons. That gift is Tea Party backed Republican Christine O’Donnell. O’Donnell’s primary upset over longtime Rep. and G.O.P. establishment endorsed Mike Castle badly imperils Republicans’ chances of winning the seat being vacated this fall by appointed Sen. Ted Kaufman (D). The Washington Post reports that, “Whereas Castle was a known — and liked — commodity to First State voters based on his more than four decades of service in elected office, O’Donnell has next-to-no presence among the general election electorate and, given the sort of primary campaign she ran, seemingly little interest or ability to expand her sphere.” Additionally, the national Republicans have signaled that they will now take their campaign dollars to other winnable states and that will doom O’Donnell’s candidacy as she has no demonstrated ability to raise the money she will need to be competitive in the pricey Philadelphia media market.

O’Donnell also carries a lot embarrassing baggage that will not impress the voters in a general election. It will be nearly impossible for O’Donnell to air brush away the scars from the scorched-earth primary campaign — especially the charges that she has been living off campaign donations and her lies about her college graduation (she finally received her degree from Fairleigh Dickinson University just two weeks ago). Inasmuch as O’Donnell has been in debt for most of her adult life and has filed unsuccessful lawsuits as a way to get rich quick, can the Republicans really promote her as someone with the financial expertise to help the nation out of the recession? Unlikely.

She also has those interesting positions on homosexuality and masturbation. Her campaign attempted to negatively portray her Republican opponent, Castle as “heaven forbid” gay. Apparently she believes that no self respecting conservative would ever vote for a gay man. O’Donnell also has a unique perspective on the popular past-time known as masturbation. O’Donnell believes masturbation should be condemned even as an abstinent alternative to sex. What, you don’t believe it? Then watch this…

“If he already knows what pleases him and he can please himself, then why am I in the picture?” Boy, was that quote ever a self-fulfilling prophecy, because as an unmarried woman, Christine O’Donnell is in nobody’s picture.

Like the other Sarah Palin endorsed Tea Party nutjobs Sharron Angle, Rand Paul and Joe Miller, Christine O’Donnell is so far outside of the political mainstream and so firmly shackled by personal eccentricity, that she is virtually unelectable. The only thing missing on this particular gift to the Democrats was wrapping paper and a bow!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

I Touch Myself song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n2YOtDMMpow

DON’T TOUCH THYSELF

(sung to the Divinyls song “I Touch Myself”)

I loathe myself but Tea-Baggers love me
No, I don’t frown, I have the Tea Party
Won’t let myself do anything naughty
I won’t touch myself so long as you remind me

When I am alone at my house
I must just remember, don’t touch thyself
But I don’t want anybody else, Oh no, Oh no, Oh no

Tea-Baggers talked me into running
Uptight tarts are just their kind
And they love old-fashioned gay-bashing
O’Donnell is just fine

I close my eyes when I become horny
Tea-Bagging guys they just simply adore me
“Christine”, they say, “just how do you ignore you?”
I fasten tight my knees with quick-bonding super-glue

When I’m alone at my lonely house
I must just remember, don’t touch thyself
But I don’t want anybody else, Oh no, Oh no, Oh no

(masturbation break)

I loathe myself but Tea-Baggers love me
No, I don’t frown, I have the Tea Party
Won’t let myself do anything naughty
I won’t touch myself so long as you remind me

When I ‘m alone at my lonely house
I must just remember, don’t touch thyself
But I don’t want anybody else, Oh no, Oh no, Oh no

I want to
I don’t want to touch anybody else
But God told me I can’t touch myself
Oooh, Oooh, Oooooh, Ahhhhhh!

When I’m alone at my lonely house
I must just remember, don’t touch thyself
But I don’t want anybody else
Why won’t the lord just let me go touch myself?
Don’t touch thyself
Don’t touch thyself
Don’t touch thyself
Don’t touch thyself
Don’t touch thyself
Don’t touch thyself
Don’t touch thyself
What’s a girl to do?
Don’t touch thyself
Don’t touch thyself
Don’t touch thyself
What’s a girl to do?
Don’t touch thyself
Don’t touch thyself