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Christine “Witchy Poo” O’Donnell Stews In Her Own Brew

When she was shellacked last November in the Delaware U.S. Senatorial election, we thought we had heard the last of Christine O’Donnell. The Sarah Palin endorsed, anti-masturbation, Bible-thumping, witchcraft-dabbling Tea-Bagger had provided so much material for this blog and so many others that her sudden exit from the political scene was mourned by all. But, as Mark Twain once said, “the rumors of [Christine O’Donnell’s] demise have been greatly exaggerated”.

CNN reports that the Justice Department and the FBI has launched a criminal investigation into O’Donnell’s possible misuse of campaign funds. A source with knowledge of the probe confirmed to CNN that an investigation has been commenced, but the FBI and Justice Department have thus far made no comment. Justice Department spokeswoman Laura Sweeney acknowledged to CNN that the U.S. Attorney’s office in Delaware had agreed to review the initial complaint filed by watchdog group Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics  (CREW). However, Sweeney declined to say whether federal prosecutors and FBI agents had gone beyond the initial review.

While running for the Senate in 2010, O’Donnell faced repeated questions about her finances including the alleged illegal use of her campaign donations as a personal piggy bank from which she paid her personal rent and personal travel expenses in 2009 when she was not running for any office. She attributed the rumors of impropriety to a disgruntled former campaign volunteer, David Keegan, who submitted an affidavit to CREW alleging misuse of campaign funds in a previous O’Donnell Senate bid. CREW subsequently filed complaints with the Federal Elections Commission and the U.S. Attorney’s Office in Delaware regarding O’Donnell’s finances, asking for investigations of her alleged use of campaign funds for personal expenses.

The former candidate who once felt compelled to deny she was a witch, now denies that she is a criminal and claims that any investigation is a “vendetta”. She not only blames the aforementioned Keegan for the criminal investigation, but also Vice President Joe Biden. “Given that the King of the Delaware Political Establishment just so happens to be the Vice President of the most liberal Presidential administration in U.S. history, it is no surprise that misuse and abuse of the FBI would not be off the table,” she said, while not denying the substance of any such probe. Not surprisingly, the Biden office felt no need to comment on O’Donnell’s spurious allegation.

If the past can be used as a tool to predict the future, how long will it be before Christine O’Donnell releases a television advertisement in which the opening line mimics those famous words uttered by disgraced Republican President Richard Nixon, “I am not a crook”?

Lynnrockets is simply glad that Christine O’Donnell is back in the news so that we can re-post one of our favorite song parodies.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Sympathy For The Devil song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Je8MXiwmNIk

SYMPATHY FOR O’DONNELL

(sung to the Rolling Stones song “Sympathy For The Devil”)

Please allow me to introduce myself
I’m in the Delaware race
I’ve been around for a couple of years
And I never masturbate

Yes, I believe that Jesus Christ
Has spoken through my campaign
He’ll keep Bill Maher quiet
Seal his mouth as I spread hate

Pleased to meet you
Can you guess my name
But what’s puzzling you
Is my obsession with fame

Do you dare to trust my word
After I robbed my donors of their change
Paid my rent and then I secured
New furniture and a gas-fired range

The sulfur stank
Like a septic tank
On my witchcraft stage
Oh so dark and dank

Pleased to meet you
Can you guess my name, oh yeah
But what’s puzzling you
Is the nature of my game, oh yeah

That Sarah P.
Is my Tea-Bag Queen
I drank the Kool-Aid
That she proudly made

I shouted out
“Let’s kill Ted Kennedy”
Cuz his Health Plan’s
Killing you and me

Let me please introduce myself
I am Delaware’s disgrace
And a Tea Party troubadour
Singing lies every day of this race

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name, oh yeah
Now what’s troubling you
Is the nature of my fame, oh yeah, get down, baby

(evolution denial break)

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name, oh yeah
Now what’s confusing you
Is just the nature of my game, um yeah

Just as Medicare is criminal
Republicans are saints
Dumb as Dan Quayle
Just call me O’Donnell
Watch as I apply my war-paint

Coons will defeat me
He’ll refer to me
As the mental-case in this race
Use all his well-learned politics
As he lays my soul to waste, um yeah

Pleased to meet you
O’Donnell is my name, um yeah
Now what’s troubling you
Is the nature of my fame, um baby, get down

Woo, who
Oh yeah, get on down
Oh yeah

Oh yeah!

Chris O’Donnell, that’s my name
Tell me honey, don’t ya love my name
Chris O’Donnell, that’s my name
If I lose this race, you’re to blame

Ooo, who
Ooo, who
Ooo, who

Alright
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Oh, yeah

What’s my name
Chris O’Donnell, that’s my name
Tell me, sweetie, what’s my name

Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Oh, yeah

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O’Donnell Chickens Out Of Televised Interviews

Why does Bill Mahar torment me so?

Sarah Palin better watch her back. Christine O’Donnell may just out-crazy the craziest Tea-Bagger we know. In just two short months this Tea-Party endorsed Palin prodigy has showed the nation that she is a true contender in the G.O.P. certifiably insane candidate category.

O’Donnell was initially exposed by the revelation that she believes masturbation is akin to adultery and for her campaign’s thinly veiled accusation that her primary opponent, Mike Castle is gay. Next, it was revealed by TV host Bill Mahar, that the family values Christian admitted on television that she dabbled in witchcraft and had a date on a blood splattered satanic alter. That revelation prompted O’Donnell to abruptly back out of two nationally televised Sunday morning talk shows last week. To add insult to injury, Mahar threatened O’Donnell that he has even more embarrassing tapes which he will slowly air prior to election day unless she agrees to appear on his current program, “Real Time With Bill Mahar”. “It’s like a hostage crisis,” Maher warned O’Donnell on Saturday night. “Every week you don’t come on this show, I’m going to throw a new body out.”

Those embarrassments were followed by Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington (CREW), a nonpartisan campaign watchdog group’s, filing a damaging criminal complaint against the O’Donnell campaign with the Delaware U.S. Attorney’s Office and the Federal Election Commission. The complaint alleges that more than $20,000 of O’Donnell’s spending in 2009 and 2010 was illegal because O’Donnell was no longer a candidate for any political office. CREW has charged that that O’Donnell routinely used campaign funds to pay for personal expenses such as meals and gas as well as to pay her personal rent and for personal travel expenses.

Well, that is certainly more than most intellectually-challenged, gay-baiting, devil-worshipping, tax-evading, donation-abusing, non-masturbators could handle. Consequently, O’Donnell told Fox News’ Sean Hannity Tuesday night that she’s not going to do any more national media interviews prior to the November election. That is certainly one way of avoiding those embarrassing questions that have surfaced regarding O’Donnell’s lifestyle and actions. Indeed, avoiding the media at all costs is the cowardly yet time proven method of all Tea-Baggers including Sarah Palin and Nevada senatorial hopeful, Sharron Angle. But is it a winning tactic? Not so far. Palin lost her only national election and Angle and O’Donnell have not yet faced a general election. But the most recent Delaware poll reveals that O’Donnell’s challenger enjoys a 16% advantage over the Tea-Bagger. According to a CNN/Time/Opinion Research Corporation poll released Wednesday, 55 percent of likely voters in Delaware say that they are backing Democratic Senate nominee Chris Coons, with 39 percent saying they support GOP nominee Christine O’Donnell. Among the wider pool of registered voters, Coons’ leads O’Donnell by a whopping 25 points. Ouch, that is gonna leave a mark.

Christine O’Donnell also has to worry about those bodies that Bill Mahar will continue to throw out there before election day if she continues to avoid an appearance on his program. What a suspenseful game of chicken is developing before our very eyes. What will happen?

Until we know, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s very topical song parody.

Psycho Killer song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Smge23DCE8

PSYCHO CHICKEN (O’Donnell Version)

(sung to the Talking Heads song “Psycho Killer”)

O’Donnell is a Tea-Bagging hag
What her mouth needs is a silencing gag
She failed to pay those that she hired
From interviews, she’s now retired

Psycho Chicken
Masturbate
Cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck
So she…
Run, run, run, run, run, run, runs away
Psycho Chicken
Won’t debate
Cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck
So she…
Run, run, run, run, run, run, runs away

She starts a conversation she can’t even finish it
She’s talkin’ a lot but she’s not sayin’ anything
With Satan she prayed as Bill Mahar revealed
Exposed her once, he’ll do it again

Psycho Chicken
Won’t debate
Cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck
Rather,
Run, run, run, run, run, run, run away
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Psycho Chicken
Masturbate
Cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck
Now she…
Run, run, run, run, run, run, runs away
Oh, oh, oh, oh, Ay, yi, yi, yi, yi!!!

A vampire like Bela
Never will have a fella
She’s as cold as vichyssoise
Now Fox News hopes she just fades…away
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

She has surely lost her mind
She is the Tea Party kind

Psycho Chicken
Won’t debate
Cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck
Rather,
Run, run, run, run, run, run, run away
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Psycho Chicken
Spreading hate
Cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck
Better
Run, run, run, run, run, run, run away
Oh, oh, oh, oh, Ay, yi, yi, yi, yi!!!

Spread Some Butter Cuz O’Donnell’s Toast

Bubble, Bubble, She's Got Trouble!

It would appear that the days are few for Christine O’Donnell (aka The Palin Prodigy). The Tea-Party backed candidate for Vice President Joe Biden’s former Delaware Senate seat is facing more fire today and this newest trouble may mean the end for her tumultuous campaign.

O’Donnell was initially publicly embarrassed by the revelation that she believes masturbation is akin to adultery and for her campaign’s thinly veiled accusation that her primary opponent, Mike Castle is gay. Next, it was revealed by TV host Bill Mahar, that the family values Christian admitted on television that she dabbled in witchcraft and had a date on a blood splattered satanic alter. Mahar also warns that he has even more embarrassing tapes of O’Donnell which he will slowly air prior to election day unless she agrees to appear on his current program, “Real Time With Bill Mahar”. “It’s like a hostage crisis,” Maher warned O’Donnell on Saturday night. “Every week you don’t come on this show, I’m going to throw a new body out.”

Well, all that is certainly more than most unqualified candidates could withstand, but it gets even worse for O’Donnell. Yesterday, Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington (CREW), a nonpartisan campaign watchdog group, filed a damaging criminal complaint against the O’Donnell campaign with the Delaware U.S. Attorney’s Office and the Federal Election Commission. The complaint alleges that more than $20,000 of O’Donnell’s spending in 2009 and 2010 was illegal because O’Donnell was no longer a candidate for any political office. CREW Executive Director Melanie Sloan said,

“By committing tax evasion, false statements, and basically embezzling her campaign funds, Ms. O’Donnell has basically broken criminal law, and must be held to account for that,”

CREW is basing their complaint in part on the affidavit of a former campaign aide who charges that O’Donnell routinely used campaign funds to pay for personal expenses such as meals and gas. The aide, David Keegan, said that O’Donnell paid for a bowling outing – among other things – during a time when she was not running for office. O’Donnell is also being accused of illegally using campaign funds to pay her personal rent and for personal travel. In essence, it is alleged that she has illegally used her campaign donations for personal profit at a time when she was not a candidate for any office.

Honestly, how much dirty laundry must a candidate have before she is finally taken to the cleaners?

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s very topical song parody.

The Bitch Is Back song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nujsrspF-k8

THE WITCH IS WHACKED

(sung to the Elton John song “The Bitch is Back”)

She’ll be crucified for tellin’ lies
Her campaign will never survive
Re-arranging where her money’s at
But the Feds will get O’Donnell cuz the witch is whacked
(Oh, oh, oh)

Black masses on Friday that’s her night
No masturbatin’ cuz that’s just not right
This witch is all over the nightly news
Just a matter of days ‘fore her campaign is through
(Oh, oh, oh)

She’s a witch, she’s a witch
And this witch is whacked
It’s all over for the O’Donnell quack
She’s a witch, she’s a witch
All her debts are now due
She’s a Tea Party stooge
And they’re drinking her brew
(Oh, oh, oh)

She entertains with all her games
Sold her soul for her own gain
The bullshit flows, this fraud’s a brat
Christine’s full of nasty habits and that witch is whacked
(Ha, ha ha))

She’s a witch, she’s a witch
And this witch is whacked
That’s a sober undeniable fact
She’s a witch, she’s a witch
And she just got the clue
O’Donnell lost her groove
Now her campaign is through
(Oh, oh, oh)

(abstinence break)

(Oh, oh, oh)
She’s a witch, she’s a witch
And this witch is whacked
Her porcelain skin is showing some cracks
She’s a witch, she’s a witch
Tell us something that’s new
Christine must face the truth
Her days are now few
(Oh, oh, oh)

Witch, witch
The witch is whacked
Witch, witch
The witch is whacked
Witch, witch
The witch is whacked
Witch, witch
The witch is whacked
Witch, witch
The witch is whacked
Witch, witch
The witch is whacked