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Run Sarah, Run Sarah, Run!!! (Updated)

Oh, please, please, pretty please let it be true. Rumor is that Sarah Palin may have let it slip last weekend that she plans to run for President of the United States in 2012. What on earth could be better for the Democrats than for the former ex-quitting Governor of Alaska to be the nominee for either the Republican Party or her new found BFFs, the Tea Party? Just imagine the debate questions such as, “Ms. Palin, please tell us in detail how long you would endure probing questions from the press and allegations of ethical impropriety before quitting the Presidency?” Or, “Just for shits and giggles, could you please name the seven continents?” Or maybe, “Sarah could you tell us what newspapers and magazines do you read?” Oh wait, Katie Couric already asked that one. Anyway, you guys get it.

But seriously, last weekend while being interviewed on Fox News (where else?) by Chris Wallace, when asked about her White House ambitions, Palin responded,

It really comes down to it’s not being about me, or what I want, or what I predict is gonna happen. … [I]f the voters of America are in the mood for a kind of unconventional, candid, honest public servant — it doesn’t necessarily have to be me — but if that’s what they’re in the mood for, they’re going to let that be known, and they’re going to help really propel and push that candidate forward, and then that candidate, of course, will make the decision whether to run or not. Don’t know if that’s going to me, Chris. … As I’ve always said, I’m not going to close any door that perhaps would be open.

If that door does open Sarah, don’t let it hit you on the ass on the way out!

A future Palin candidacy would be sure to provide enough material for a sequel to this video of her greatest hits:


We have just learned that the Curse of Sarah Palin continues. You might recall that the Blast-Off posted a story a few days ago about Palin’s endorsement of Vaughn Ward in the Idaho Republican Congressional primary. You might also recall that Ward is the guy that thinks that Puerto Rico is a foreign country. Well, never fear. Inasmuch as the curse of Palin is in full effect, Ward lost the election on Tuesday. Palin has now cursed John McCain, Doug Hoffman, Tim Burns and now Vaughn Ward. Will Nikki Haley an/or Rand Paul be next?

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Born To Run song link:


(sung to the Bruce Springsteen song “Born To Run”)

In the day she sweats it out on the streets, she’s a runner-up beauty pageant queen
At night she tears her hair out in worry atop Todd’s snow-machine
Hate filled rages at the five and dime
High heeled, misdirected and sporting a sixties beehive, Whoa
Wasilla town hopes she never comes back
She’s a dumb quack, a political hack
Sarah speaketh with a forked tongue
But tramps like her, baby they were born to run
(yes she will run)

Sarah’s got thin skin but she’ll run again
She can’t find work on television
SarahPAC will cater to her whims
Their dedicated to her mission
Together they will dish out crap
She’ll run till she drops, maybe from a heart attack, Whoa
All her friends, she’ll continue to hire
‘cause baby she wants to be the next “Decider”
But her wagon has lost all its wheels
She behaves like a little child girl, a pitbull refusing to heel
(full of baloney)

(instrumental interlude)

She’s filled with malice right down to the bones buried in her backyard
She casts no reflection in brand new mirrors
Like a vampire caught off guard
Her unfeeling heart, rises cold and dark
A dominatrix with an iron fist
She’s gonna try to befriend thee in the deep dark night
With a wink and a blown kiss, Huhh

(another instrumental)

(one two three four…)

She’s got a bunch of Fox News zeroes that fuel her hopes and drive
Sarah Palin likes you if you are white and have no use for gay pride
Every Wednesday she will give an address
That will reveal all the madness in her soul, Whoa
Someday girl, we don’t know when, you’ll learn that you’re a disgrace
Something we already know, her career will be done
But till then just like puss, Sarah will return to run

Oh, Sarah just like puss, baby we hope that you run

Please believe me, all of us baby, sure hope that you will run

Sarah Palin, The Idiot Idahoan Endorses Vaughn Ward, The Idiot Idahoan

Sarah Palin and Vaugn Ward

You might recall that Sarah Palin was born in Idaho and eventually graduated from the University of Idaho. That makes sense inasmuch as the former ex-quitting Governor of Alaska is as dumb as a potato. We all still chuckle at the fact that the “Queen of Quit” was incapable of naming a newspaper that she reads; naming a Supreme Court decision other than Roe v. Wade; and realizing that Africa is a continent. Well, the brain-dead spud was back in Idaho Friday where she aligned herself with yet another geographically challenged imbecile.

Palin has endorsed Republican Vaughn Ward for Idaho’s 1st District Congressional seat currently held by Democrat Walt Minnick. Palin and Ward are a match made in heaven because they are both stupid. During a Wednesday night debate with his primary opponent, Raul Labrador, Ward made a Palinesque sized embarrassing flub. The Washington Post reports that, “The candidates got a question on whether they supported statehood for Puerto Rico. Labrador, who is from Puerto Rico, said he didn’t. And then Ward unleashed this:

The problem with extending statehood to some, to any other country, is that then, the infrastructure requirements — everything that we have under our laws, regulations, then applies to them. The infrastructure needs, I have read, cost an enormous amount of money. It is not time to grow the United States. Not today, not tomorrow. I don’t see a time when we would. We’re 50 states, I want to see us stay at that. When you can show me we’ve balanced the budget, we’ve got things under control, we’ve got immigration under control, we’ve got jobs in America, we can start maybe then looking. But I don’t see that happening in my lifetime. Let’s focus on America first. Let’s focus on what’s important here. And it’s about putting Americans back to work. It’s about putting this country right again. And I don’t see that — I don’t care what state it is, or what country that wants to become part of America. It’s not time, it’s not going to be time. Let’s focus on us, first.

Labrador then said, “I just need to correct. Puerto Rico’s not a country. Puerto Rico is a territory of the United States. It’s about time that we take some civics lesson and we learned what Puerto Rico is.”

Vaughn Ward’s brilliant response? “I really don’t care what it is. It doesn’t matter.”

Let’s go to the video…

Just like Sarah Palin, this guy simply will not let facts get in the way. Remember Palin’s “death panels”? They were proven to be a lie and yet she still harps on about their fictitious existence. Her endorsement of Vaugn Ward could be the inspiration for a seqal to the film Dumb and Dumber!

And that brings us to today’s parody. In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.

Simon Says song link:


(sung to the 1910 Fruitgum Company song “Simon Says”)

She likes to play a game,
That is so much fun,
And it’s something even she can do,
The name of the game is “Simple Sarah Says”,
And she would like for you to play it too

Put style gel in your hair,
Simple Sarah says,
Lipstick on your mouth,
Simple Sarah says,
Do it when Palin says,
Simple Sarah says,
And they will vote you right out

Simple Sarah says,
Put glasses on your head,
Don some pants that stretch,
Sarah says,

Simple Sarah says,
Get Bristol out of bed,
That Levi is stiff,
Sarah says,

A beehive on your head,
Simple Sarah says,
The First Dude by your side,
Simple Sarah says,
Hate speech for the left,
Simple Sarah says,
Kind words for the right

(musical interlude)

F-me pumps that are red,
Simple Sarah says,
A gun strapped to your side,
Simple Sarah says,
Diversity left,
Simple Sarah says,
Only whites on the right

Now that we have learned,
To play this game with she,
Sarah Palin has something to do,
Let’s try it once again,
We’ll mimic Sarah P.,
But let’s do it while we’re drinking too

Go kill a polar bear,
Simple Sarah says,
Give your shoes a shine,
Simple Sarah says,
Dress yourself like a whore,
Simple Sarah says,
Ah, you’re looking fine,
Simple Sarah says,
Now, interview if you dare,
Simple Sarah says,
Mingle with the slime,
Simple Sarah says,
Get your ass out the door,
Simple Sarah says,
Make it double time