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Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 39

Just a few noteworthy news satellites that have been careening around the blogosphere this week…

BREAKING NEWS: BP has still been unable to cap the massive oil spill triggered by its and Hailliburton‘s and Transocean‘s negligence. The “let’s try to fill the thing with golf balls” method indicates the lack of repair alternatives remaining. We have also learned that the spill is some four times greater than BP led the US Government to believe, making it the largest oil spill in history. Meanwhile, Republicans (or should we call them “BPublicans”) and Tea-Baggers continue to clamor for less corporate regulation.

THIS JUST IN: The racist State of Arizona has elected to by-pass its own Attorney General to defend the state against lawsuits filed in opposition to the state’s new racial profiling immigration law. Instead, the state will hire costly outside private counsel because the state legislature and Governor Jan Brewer have a “lack of confidence in the Attorney General’s willingness to vigorously defend” When your state’s very own Attorney General feels a law is unconstitutional, you’ve got a problem. Now in addition to all the revenue lost as the result of the increasing boycott of all things Arizonan, the state’s taxpayers will be forced to spend even more money on outside private counsel.

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Give ‘Em Enough Rope And They Are Sure To Hang Themselves” features Kentucky Republican Senate candidate Rand Paul. The Sarah Palin endorsed candidate that told us last week that he believes that private business should once again be allowed to racially  discriminate, now tells us that he wants so called “anchor babies” (children born in the US with parents not legally in the country) to be stripped of their US citizenship and deported. Problem is, the US Constitution says, “All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside.” Rand Paul, we hardly knew ye.

THIS JUST IN: Progressive liberals have another good chance to defeat an incumbent DINO. Arkansas Lt. Gov. Bill Halter is outpacing incumbent Blanche Lincoln in raising funds for the Democratic Party run-off election for the Arkansas US Senate seat. Lincoln you may recall, tends to vote against progressive causes and with the Republicans far too frequently. Please donate what you can to Bill Halter in an effort to put a true progressive in office.

BREAKING NEWS: Seems this whole Obama/Sestak thing is just a whole lot of nothing. That is of course, so long as you are a Ronald Reagan admirer. Take a look at this little piece from the PA in 1981,

Sen. S.I. Hayakawa on Wednesday spurned a Reagan administration suggestion that if he drops out of the crowded Republican Senate primary race in California, President Reagan would find him a job.

How will the Republicans react to the fact that the almighty Reagan seems to have been involved in the same sort of rough and tumble world of politics  as was Obama?

THIS JUST IN: Sarah Palin hired Bob the Builder to erect spite fence.

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “How Low Can You Go” features Fox News’ very own village idiot, Glenn Beck. On his radio show, Beck alleged that Barack Obama’s 11 year old daughter, Malia was uneducated. Then while mocking the child’s voice, he asked the President, “Daddy, why do you hate black people”! Let’s see what Beck has to say the next time someone mentions one of Sarah Palin’s children.

Please click on the song link below to faniliarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody. This one was easy. We didn’t have to tinker too much with the original lyrics. Please enjoy.

Undone song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VLMF5GM0Kt8

UNDONE

(sung to The Guess Who song “Undone”)

Beck’s come undone
He didn’t know what he was headed for
And by the time that Fox shows him the door
It’s much too late

Beck’s come undone
He’s either drinking or he’s getting high
And now his sponsors have gone bye-bye
That is Glenn’s fate

It’s too late
Beck’s gone too far
He’s all but done
Beck’s come undone
Avoids the truth while he shouts out his lies
Now he has to realize
Redemption’s too late

Beck’s come undone
He’s like a little mouse that tries to roar
A TV host that most of us abhor
A victim of his fate

It’s too late
Beck’s no Bill Maher
He is no fun
Beck’s come undone

Too many branches, but not enough Christmas lights
Too many falsehoods and not enough truth
Too many people with too many eyes to see
Too many lies to tell, but not in prime-time

It’s too late
He’s over par
(that was a pun)
Beck’s come undone
(Doe-doe-doe-doe-doe-doe- un doe-doe-doe un doe-doe-doe)
(Doe-doe-doe-doe-doe un doe-doe-doe doe-doe-doe)
(Doe doe-doe-doe doe doe-doe-doe doe doe)

(musical interlude)

It’s too late
Feathered and tarred
He’s dazed and stunned
Beck’s come undone
He didn’t know what he was headed for
And now he’s much worse than the day before
It is too late

Beck’s come undone
He’s like a fountain spewing out just lies
And sometimes he just sits there and cries
Glenn Beck’s character traits

It’s too late
Beck’s gone too far
He’s a no-one
Beck’s come undone
(No no-no-no-no-no-no)
(Doe doe doe-doe)

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Sarah Palin, The Alleged Philanderer Endorses Nikki Haley, The Alleged Philanderer

My goodness, things just keep getting crazier and crazier regarding Alaska’s former ex-quitting Governor. In the last month alone, Sarah Palin has split with her own Republican Party by means of endorsing two G.O.P. disfavored Tea-Bagger candidates, one of whom has been exposed as a raving racist. She embarressed herself on Fox News’ Hannity program by showing that she had no idea who the candidates were in last week’s Pennsylvania elections. Ms. “Drill Baby, Drill” then made a fool of herself by alleging that it is the Democrats and not the Republicans that are in bed with Big Oil. And now she has endorsed a candidate that has allegedly been involved (like herself) in an adulterous affair. Sarah Palin is now officially as mainstream as a three dollar bill.

The educationally challenged Palin has endorsed Republican Nikki Haley in the South Carolina gubernatorial race. Problem is, Haley has been accused by a certain Will Folks of having had “an inappropriate physical relationship” with him. This is particularly humorous when one remembers that South Carolina’s present disgraced Governor, Republican Mark Sanford also had an illicit extra-marital affair. It also begs the question as to whether any Republican, either male or female, can keep their pants on long enough to serve a full term in office.

Of the endorsement, Palin posted this on her Facebook page:

When Nikki and I held her endorsement rally on the steps of the beautiful and historic South Carolina state house last month, I warned her and her family that she would be targeted because she’s a threat to a corrupt political machine, and she would be put through some hell. [D]on’t let some blogger make any accusation against your Nikki if the guy doesn’t even have the guts or the integrity to speak further on such a significant claim.

Hot on the heel of this week’s other revelation that Indiana Congressman Mark Souder has had to resign his seat as the result of an adulterous affair, let’s have a look at all those other philandering Republicans of late. Ronald Reagan, Newt Gingrich, John McCain, David Vitter, Mark Foley, Larry Craig, Rudolph Giuliani, Ted Haggard, Bob Allen, Glenn Murphy, Jr., John Ensign, Sarah Palin (maybe), Mark Sanford, Paul Stanley, Mike Duvall, Mark Souder… and now Nikki Haley.

Is it just me or does anyone else feel the need to take a shower after shaking the hand of a Republican?

Please be sure to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the song parody.

Brandy (You’re A Fine Girl) song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N-tRXewCAmU

SARAH (YOU’RE A FINE GIRL)

(sung to the Looking Glass song “Brandy (You’re a Fine Girl)”)

(doo da in doo da da), (doo da in doo da da)

There’s a town not far from Bristol Bay
With strip malls, both near and far away
Lonely oil guys go the Wasilla way
And live in motor homes

And there’s a girl in this forlorn town
One time, she wore a pageant crown
They say “Sarah, please put that gun down”
She knows she’s just a punch-line

The oil guys say “Sarah, you’re a fine girl” (you’re a fine girl)
“What a good Prez you would be” (such a fine girl)
“Not here, but maybe somewhere overseas”
(doo da in doo da da), (doo da in doo da da)

Sarah, sports a beehive mane
And some rimless glasses but she has no brain
A locket that bears the name
Of the man that Sarah loves

He came on a winter’s day
On board his gas-powered sleigh
What he saw in her, Todd couldn’t say
Cuz he was drunk since he left home

The First Dude said “Sarah, you’re a fine girl” (you’re a fine girl)
“What a good wife you would be” (such a fine girl)
But it’s booze, snow-machining and pornos for me
(doo da in doo da da), (doo da in doo da da)

But Sarah looked into his eyes
And she took an inventory
She could feel something on him rise
Then she saw his morning glory
She said “To hell with abstinence!”, Lord, she jumped on that sad-sack
And before she could say “Stop!”, she had Track.
(doo da in doo da da), (doo da in doo da da)

Todd, had a loaded pistol
Sarah gave birth to a daughter,  Bristol
She too had an ac-ci-den-tal
And now you hear her say…

You hear her say “Mama, you’re a fine girl” (you’re a fine girl)
“Two peas in a pod aren’t we” (such a fine girl)
“But Ya Betcha we have a screwed-up family”
(doo da in doo da da), (doo da in doo da da)

“Sarah, you’re a fine girl” (you’re a fine girl)
[FADE]

“What a good Prez you would be” (such a fine girl)
“No not here, but maybe somewhere overseas”