Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 57

Just a few newsworthy events (and comments thereon) that have been making their way through the political universe this past week. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful day!

BREAKING NEWS: Why does the US Chamber of Commerce hate America? Presently, the Chamber is hosting seminars with Chinese government officials to teach American businesses how to outsource jobs. How patriotic.

THIS JUST IN:  Tea Partiers are very stupid people. Don’t believe it? Watch this:

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “People That Make You Feel Uncomfortable” features Joe Miller. The Alaska G.O.P. Senate candidate and Tea Partier was not missed when he left at least one law firm. After graduating from Yale Law School in 1995, Miller moved to Anchorage to take a job as an associate at the firm then known as Condon Partnow & Sharrock. Attorney David Shoup (Miller’s supervisor) told Salon.com, “We at this firm were not eager to have him stay, and so when he announced he was leaving, we were relieved.” When Miller announces that he is leaving Alaska the residents of that state will also be relieved.

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “What’s Up With That” features Sharron Angle. The moonbat-crazy Tea Party candidate for a Nevada Senate seat was speaking before an audience of Hispanic school children last week when she said, “Some of you look a little more Asian to me.” Vote for Harry Reid.

BREAKING NEWS: Politico reports, “The election is two weeks away, but the campaign trail reviews of Sarah Palin already are in, and they aren’t pretty. According to multiple Republican campaign sources, the former Alaska governor wreaks havoc on campaign logistics and planning. She offers little notice about her availability, refuses to do certain events, is obsessive about press coverage and sometimes backs out with as little lead time as she gave in the first place.” Politico mind you, is the voice of the Republican establishment. If that is how mainstream Republicans feel about the Queen of Quit, imagine how the rest of America feels.

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “That Was Awkward” features Virginia Thomas. The wife of Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas left a voicemail message on the telephone of Anita Hill, asking her to say she was sorry for the allegations of sexual harassment that surfaced at Thomas’ confirmation hearings for a seat on the high court bench in 1991. Hill’s response? “I certainly thought the call was inappropriate. I have no intention of apologizing because I testified truthfully about my experience and I stand by that testimony.” Just wondering, but was this a case of drunk-dialing? come on now, you know what I mean.

BREAKING NEWS: The Tea Party Express spent $ 103,000.00 this summer to send six staffers on luxury cruises to Alaska during Teapublican Joe Miller’s Senate primary campaign. Mind you, the allegedly grassroots Tea Party movement prides itself on its principles of strict financial accountability.

THIS JUST IN: Speaking of the Tea Party Express, the wagon-train full of illiterate, racist anarchists will be pulling into Abilene and Waco, Texas today. The group is trying to get as far away as possible from Joe Miller and Alaska. The group had declared that it would do whatever it takes for Miller, but since the primary election, they have spent less than $ 11,000.00 on his behalf. How’s that for Teapublicans eating their young?

BREAKING NEWS: Is it just Lynnrockets, or is anybody else out there hoping that the Fox Network blackout on Cablevision continues forever? Fox executives have managed to silence themselves in a much better fashion than all of our boycotts. Way to go, guys!

THIS JUST IN:  Harry Reid had this to say about Sharron Angle during an MSNBC interview last Thursday, “She is extreme, she is dangerous, and embarrassing to the state of Nevada.” How do you like them apples, Sharron?

BREAKING NEWS: We haven’t heard much from Michelle Malkin since so many of her Teapublican conservatives have been calling for “anchor babies” to be stripped of their citizenship. The reason for her silence? Well as it turns out, Malkin is one of those “anchor babies”. But just last week Malkin reared her head into US airspace and lied about Pennsylvania’s Democratic candidate for US Senate. She said, “Look, you can’t finesse the truth. Joe Sestak voted for Obamacare. Obamacare in essence and essentially bottom line gives taxpayer dollars to abortions. Joe Sestak voted for taxpayer-funded abortions. Period.”

Truth be told, the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act, which Sestak supported, does not provide for federal funding for abortions beyond what is allowed under existing law. Under the Hyde amendment, first passed in 1976, taxpayer dollars can only be used for abortion procedures in cases of rape, incest, or when the mother’s life is in danger. consequently, Sestak’s vote in favor of the bill did nothing to advance taxpayer funding of abortions.

 

GO PACKERS!!!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s Halloween inspired song parody.

The Monster Mash song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FeZftK2kO6U

THE MALKIN MASH

(sung to the Bobby “Boris” Pickett song “Monster Mash”)

She was mouthing off with gab late one night
Malkin’s strange visage, an eerie sight
My blood pressure and pulse both began to rise
What’s up with that weird lazy eye?

She’s talkin’ trash
She did the Malkin mash
The Malkin mash
I think she has a rash
She does the mash
She must be smokin’ hash
She does the mash
She did the Malkin mash

She was ruminating on Obama’s speech
When her logic and her brains went to the beach
We knew she was lying by her growing nose
Inside her skull, a mighty wind blows

She’s talkin’ trash
She did the Malkin mash
The Malkin mash
I think she has a rash
She does the mash
She must be smokin’ hash
She does the mash
She did the Malkin mash

Dear Malkin was having fun
Her air-time had just begun
It was quite apparent that
Michelle had come undone

The show was rockin’ with her babbling sounds
Michelle spewing sentences without nouns
There were blood-shot lines in her crazy ass eyes
One thing missing was the strait-jacket guys

She’s talkin’ trash
She did the Malkin mash
The Malkin mash
I think she has a rash
She does the mash
She must be smokin’ hash
She does the mash
She did the Malkin mash

Out from the closet came the Coulter thing
He was wearing his decoder ring
Waving it round because he was pissed
Have you ever seen so much hair on anybody’s fist?

She’s talkin’ trash
She did the Malkin mash
The Malkin mash
I think she has a rash
She does the mash
She must be smokin’ hash
She does the mash
She did the Malkin mash

Now everything’s cool, Coulter hid his big hand
And Malkin’s diatribe was critically panned
It was one giant laugh if it was viewed
Next time we see that jerk, she is sure to be booed.

She’s talkin’ trash
She did the Malkin mash
The Malkin mash
I think she has a rash
She does the mash
She must be smokin’ hash
She does the mash
She did the Malkin mash

Sarah Palin Don’t Know Much ‘Bout Geography

Sarah “Rand McNally” Palin has exposed her geographic ignorance once again. First she told us about, “as Putin rears his head” in Alaskan airspace. She followed that doozy up with not knowing that South Africa is a country. Then she began confusing the fact as to whether her brother received medical treatment as a child in the United States or in Canada. In her ghostwritten book, Palin confused Cedarburg, Wisconsin with Cedar Rapids, Iowa. She also incorrectly stated that Kodiak Island in Alaska is “America’s largest island”.

With that sort of geographic ignorance, you would think that the former half-term, ex-quitting Governor of Alaska would shy away from making reference to any particular place in this great nation of ours. But we are talking about Sarah Palin, the woman that has never let a fact get in the way of a good catch-phrase, Facebook posting or Twitter tweet. So, here we go again.

Yesterday, West Virginia Republican Senate candidate John Raese received an endorsement from Sarah Palin. Problem is, the GPS-challenged Palin endorsed him for the Senate seat in…Pennsylvania. CNN reports that in a now-deleted tweet, Palin wrote, “Pennsylvania:makes sense 2 send GOP 2 DC 2 avoid PA economic disaster that will occur under Obama/Pelosi Cap & Tax scheme;workers need Raese.”

Let’s hope that Pennsylvania’s Teapublican voters obey Palin’s command and vote for Raese. That should ensure a victory for Pennsylvania’s Democratic candidate for Senate, Joe Sestak (to the obvious dismay of Pennsylvanian Republican candidate, Pat Toomey).

Back in Raese’s alleged home-state of West Virginia, the Democratic opponent Gov. Joe Manchin and Party leadership were quite amused. Chairman Larry Puccio quipped,

“With John Raese, it is easy to get confused as to where he actually lives. He may be running for Senate in West Virginia, but he really could choose to run in any of the states in which he belongs to a country club. West Virginians can’t really fault Sarah Palin for getting confused – we are too.”

Actually, we can’t blame Sarah Palin for being confused because she was apparently born that way. Nevertheless, would someone please step up and “refudiate” her.

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Wonderful World (Don’t Know Much) link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jNO72aCnVr0

RIGHT WING WORLD (DON’T KNOW MUCH)

(sung to the Sam Cooke song “Wonderful World”)

Don’t know much about geography
Don’t know much ecology
Don’t know much about that climate change
Don’t know why voters think I am strange

But I do know I love my shoes
And I really love my beehive ‘do
What a right wing world this should be

Don’t have much of an education
I know a lot about procreation
Opposition should have no voice
Pregnant women should have no choice

Yes, I do practice “politics of hate”
And I love to equivocate
What a right wing world this should be

Now I don’t claim that I can see Russia
From my living room bay
And I do not star on “Thirty Rock”, baby
That’s the talented Tina Fey

Don’t know much about interviews
Don’t know many Supreme Court views
Can’t name any books that I’ve read
Sure glad Bristol and Levi aren’t wed

But I do know my time is due
And I’ll be there in 2-0-1-2
What a right wing world this will be

And I do know you’ll love Sarah P.
We’ll be a nation of Scientology
What a right wing world this will be

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 39

Just a few noteworthy news satellites that have been careening around the blogosphere this week…

BREAKING NEWS: BP has still been unable to cap the massive oil spill triggered by its and Hailliburton‘s and Transocean‘s negligence. The “let’s try to fill the thing with golf balls” method indicates the lack of repair alternatives remaining. We have also learned that the spill is some four times greater than BP led the US Government to believe, making it the largest oil spill in history. Meanwhile, Republicans (or should we call them “BPublicans”) and Tea-Baggers continue to clamor for less corporate regulation.

THIS JUST IN: The racist State of Arizona has elected to by-pass its own Attorney General to defend the state against lawsuits filed in opposition to the state’s new racial profiling immigration law. Instead, the state will hire costly outside private counsel because the state legislature and Governor Jan Brewer have a “lack of confidence in the Attorney General’s willingness to vigorously defend” When your state’s very own Attorney General feels a law is unconstitutional, you’ve got a problem. Now in addition to all the revenue lost as the result of the increasing boycott of all things Arizonan, the state’s taxpayers will be forced to spend even more money on outside private counsel.

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Give ‘Em Enough Rope And They Are Sure To Hang Themselves” features Kentucky Republican Senate candidate Rand Paul. The Sarah Palin endorsed candidate that told us last week that he believes that private business should once again be allowed to racially  discriminate, now tells us that he wants so called “anchor babies” (children born in the US with parents not legally in the country) to be stripped of their US citizenship and deported. Problem is, the US Constitution says, “All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside.” Rand Paul, we hardly knew ye.

THIS JUST IN: Progressive liberals have another good chance to defeat an incumbent DINO. Arkansas Lt. Gov. Bill Halter is outpacing incumbent Blanche Lincoln in raising funds for the Democratic Party run-off election for the Arkansas US Senate seat. Lincoln you may recall, tends to vote against progressive causes and with the Republicans far too frequently. Please donate what you can to Bill Halter in an effort to put a true progressive in office.

BREAKING NEWS: Seems this whole Obama/Sestak thing is just a whole lot of nothing. That is of course, so long as you are a Ronald Reagan admirer. Take a look at this little piece from the PA in 1981,

Sen. S.I. Hayakawa on Wednesday spurned a Reagan administration suggestion that if he drops out of the crowded Republican Senate primary race in California, President Reagan would find him a job.

How will the Republicans react to the fact that the almighty Reagan seems to have been involved in the same sort of rough and tumble world of politics  as was Obama?

THIS JUST IN: Sarah Palin hired Bob the Builder to erect spite fence.

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “How Low Can You Go” features Fox News’ very own village idiot, Glenn Beck. On his radio show, Beck alleged that Barack Obama’s 11 year old daughter, Malia was uneducated. Then while mocking the child’s voice, he asked the President, “Daddy, why do you hate black people”! Let’s see what Beck has to say the next time someone mentions one of Sarah Palin’s children.

Please click on the song link below to faniliarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody. This one was easy. We didn’t have to tinker too much with the original lyrics. Please enjoy.

Undone song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VLMF5GM0Kt8

UNDONE

(sung to The Guess Who song “Undone”)

Beck’s come undone
He didn’t know what he was headed for
And by the time that Fox shows him the door
It’s much too late

Beck’s come undone
He’s either drinking or he’s getting high
And now his sponsors have gone bye-bye
That is Glenn’s fate

It’s too late
Beck’s gone too far
He’s all but done
Beck’s come undone
Avoids the truth while he shouts out his lies
Now he has to realize
Redemption’s too late

Beck’s come undone
He’s like a little mouse that tries to roar
A TV host that most of us abhor
A victim of his fate

It’s too late
Beck’s no Bill Maher
He is no fun
Beck’s come undone

Too many branches, but not enough Christmas lights
Too many falsehoods and not enough truth
Too many people with too many eyes to see
Too many lies to tell, but not in prime-time

It’s too late
He’s over par
(that was a pun)
Beck’s come undone
(Doe-doe-doe-doe-doe-doe- un doe-doe-doe un doe-doe-doe)
(Doe-doe-doe-doe-doe un doe-doe-doe doe-doe-doe)
(Doe doe-doe-doe doe doe-doe-doe doe doe)

(musical interlude)

It’s too late
Feathered and tarred
He’s dazed and stunned
Beck’s come undone
He didn’t know what he was headed for
And now he’s much worse than the day before
It is too late

Beck’s come undone
He’s like a fountain spewing out just lies
And sometimes he just sits there and cries
Glenn Beck’s character traits

It’s too late
Beck’s gone too far
He’s a no-one
Beck’s come undone
(No no-no-no-no-no-no)
(Doe doe doe-doe)

Educationally Challenged Sarah Palin Is Also A Political Ignoramus

“Ignoramus”: An utterly ignorant person: Dunce. Merriam-Webster seems to have included a word which defines Sarah Palin perfectly. The former ex-quitting Governor of Alaska provided a shining example of her ignorance once again on Wednesday night when she appeared as a guest on the Fox News comedy show known as Hannity. Newshounds informs us that Palin was invited on the show to discuss the primary races and the special election in Pennsylvania for the deceased John Murtha’s seat. Republican Tim Burns ran against Democrat Mark Critz in that election. But when Sean Hannity asked Palin about the contest, she seemed to think Burns was running against Senator Arlen Specter. Of course, Specter was in a primary race against fellow Democrat Joe Sestak (who won). Palin nevertheless predicted Burns would win. He lost decisively.

Sean Hannity said, “the race that I am most interested in tonight… and that is the Pennsylvania 12 race. And here you have John Murtha’s old seat, he held for all these years – two-to-one Democrat to Republican in the district. It’s literally neck and neck… If Burns pulls this off tonight, what would that say to you?”

Sarah Palin responded, “I think Burns will pull this off tonight. And just like the Rand-slide that we were just talking about, you’re gonna see Burns, having this representation of a smaller, smarter government, getting the economy back on the right track with limited overreach of the governments (sic). That’s what Burns stands for. And, you know, Specter, he was a representative of bigger government, even when he was within the Republican Party. And people are saying, ‘When you consider what it is that he stood for and voted on and represented, enough is enough.’ That’s not what our country needs today. We need someone like Tim Burns in there. And you’re gonna see that via vote today with the electorate.”

So, in summation, Sarah Palin did not know who the candidates were in the elections upon which she was asked to comment and she was wrong when she predicted that Tim Burns would win. Two strikes. We cannot wait for the next pitch.

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s new song parody.

I’m A Believer song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XfuBREMXxts

SHE’S A DECEIVER

(sung to the Monkees song “I’m A Believer”)

She tells about as much truth as fairy tails
She considers herself “mavericky”
Russia she claims to see
So say’s Sarah P.
She and Bristol were both pregnant teens

Nose grows on her face, cuz she’s a deceiver
Not a trace, of truth in her lines
Lord above, she’s a deceiver
Couldn’t believe her if I tried

She walked out the door cuz she’s a quittin’ thing
Palin up and caved when things got hot
She never stopped lyin’
Sarah sounds insane
Even though there’s sunshine, she says rain

When I see her face, I see a deceiver
Not a trace of truth in her lines
Lord above, she’s a deceiver
Couldn’t believe her if I tried

Ohhh, McCain didn’t vet she
When he formed his team
Then Palin went and blew his dreams

When I see her face, I see a deceiver
Not a trace of truth in her lines
Lord above, she’s a deceiver
Couldn’t believe her if I tried

When I see her face, I see a deceiver
Not a trace of truth in her lines
She’s a deceiver
She’s a deceiver
She’s a deceiver