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Palin Plummetts In Polls (Again!!!)

Here we go again. The people have spoken and they do not like Sarah Palin. Why then does Palin continue to play cat and mouse with the idea of running for the Presidency? Better yet, why does the Media and public (including Lynnrockets) pay any attention to this inconsequential person?

CNN reports that the most recent Pew Research Center Poll released August 25th reveals that 41% of Republicans and Republican-leaning voters say there is “no chance” they would vote for Sarah Palin in a presidential race. That is the second highest rejection rate of any Republican candidate, exceeded only by Newt Gingrich.

Additionally, the most recent Gallup Survey released August 24th reveals that in a race that includes all the current candidates, plus Palin and Rudy Giuliani, the former Alaska governor would draw only 11 percent of the vote.

Finally, the most recent Public Policy Polling survey released August 23rd and  conducted in Iowa (where Palin has been spending a lot of time lately) reveals that she is in a lowly 5th place among GOP candidates.

These poll results emerged smack-dab in the midst of the war of words between Karl Rove and Palin’s political action committee SarahPAC, regarding Palin’s dithering over her decision to enter the race. The polls all show that it does not matter if the former ex-quitting half-term Alaska Gov. enters the race. Even if she does, she is doomed to defeat.

So, as for the two questions posited in our first paragraph, what can we deduce? Regarding the question as to why Palin continues to remain indecisive as to her presidential plans, it seems obvious that she is simply maintaining the monetary value of the “Palin brand” for as long as possible. Since the “Palin thing” was unfortunately thrust into the American spotlight by John McCain in 2008, she has profited immensely. If not for her status as the Vice Presidential candidate and the subsequent hilariously public display of her political ignorance and the shenanigans of her tabloid-styled family, she would have remained a virtually unknown politician with little to no marketing potential. Instead, she has made so much money form her new-found celebrity status in the form of her Fox News job, her reality television series and her two ghost-written books, that she was able to simply up-and-quit her job as Governor of Alaska. Palin knows that as soon as she announces that she will not run for the nation’s highest office, her marketability and the associated money will vanish. Consequently, it behooves her to tease the public for as long as she possibly can.

As for why the media and public continue to pay attention to a potential candidate that has no chance of winning, the answer is obvious. Sarah Palin is so absurd that she is entertaining. The media sells entertainment and the public buys it. People with no interest whatsoever in politics continue to await news of the latest Palin-related spectacle. Will she publicly insult someone (David Letterman)? Will she make another astoundingly stupid comment (Paul Revere was warning the British by ringing bells and firing shots)? Will another of her abstinence-only educated children conceive a child out of wedlock (so far we have Bristol and Track)? Will her husband continue to solicit massages from women charged with prostitution (Shailey Tripp)? The possibilities seem limitless and so long as there is entertainment value, the media and public will continue to pay attention.

So there you have it. Sarah Palin is unelectable. Sarah Palin knows this and will continue to tease the public with a decision regarding her candidacy as long as possible so as to keep the money-cow alive. The media and public will continue to be interested in Palin so long as she remains relevant and eccentric.

OK, you Rocketeers, you know what this means…

In honor of the troops, please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the song parody.

Rawhide song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ldkxqiosXYY

POLL-SLIDE

(sung to the TV theme of, “Rawhide”)

Fallin’ Fallin’ Fallin’
Fallin’ Fallin’ Fallin’
Fallin’ Fallin’ Fallin’
Fallin’ Fallin’ Fallin’
Poll Slide

Keep movin’, movin’, movin’
People disapprovin’
Sarah’s not improvin’, Poll-Slide!
She cannot understand ‘em,
She hopes results are random,
Soon she’ll be in a double-wide.
There’s no way of definin’
Just why the polls declinin’, declinin’ like a massive
Landslide.

Headin’ down, movin’ fast,
Losin’ ground, ship her out,
Headin’ down, movin’ fast
Poll-Slide!
Kick her out,  shoot her down,
Send her home, push her out,
Kick her butt, fallin’ fast
Poll-Slide!

Fallin’ Fallin’ Fallin’
Her eyeballs are ballin’
How come no-one’s callin’?
Poll-Slide!
It looks like stormy weather
And she’s light like a feather
She’ll be swept under by the tide.
She’ll be unemployed soon,
A wolf killin’ buffoon,
And all this resultin’ from her lies

Headin’ down, movin’ fast,
Losin’ ground, ship her out,
Headin’ down, movin’ fast
Poll-Slide!
Kick her out,  shoot her down,
Send her home, push her out,
Kick her butt, fallin’ fast
Poll-Slide!

Fallin’ Fallin’ Fallin’
Fallin’ Fallin’ Fallin’
Fallin’ Fallin’ Fallin’
Fallin’ Fallin’ Fallin’
Poll Slide

Face It: Mitt(wit) Romney Is A Boring Flip-Flopper

Before even announcing his intention to seek the 2012 Republican Presidential nomination, Mitt(wit) Romney looks to be the front-runner once again. Most polls as well as the recent New Hampshire straw poll show him points ahead of any G.O.P. challenger. The reason for this is that he could potentially capture the substantial moderate vote. He has the business acumen and executive experience to convince G.O.P. voters that he is the man to lead the nation out of its economic woes. He also does not align himself with the ultra-wacky Tea Party element of the Republican Party. For instance, he does not tout such draconian measures as abolishing Social Security, the Federal Reserve or the Dept. of Education. Indeed, during his tenure as Governor of Massachusetts, he was considered socially liberal. The fiscally conservative/socially liberal voter is a force to be reckoned with.

Romney does have a strong negative however. He is seen by many as a flip-flopper. A person who changes his position on issues depending on which way the popular wind is blowing. remember, he was pro-choice before he was ant-choice; he was pro-immigrant before he was anti-immigrant; he was pro-gay before he was anti-gay and he was pro-gun control before he was anti-gun control. Most potentially damaging of all to Romney however, is that he was pro health care reform before he  was anti health care reform. Romney after all, was the first Governor to sign into law a health care reform bill with a personal mandate requiring all citizens to purchase health insurance or pay a fee to the tax man. Our national health reform law was modeled after the law that Romney (and Tea Party Senator Scott “Nudey” Brown) endorsed while Governor of Massachusetts.

Let’s watch Romney’s ever changing positions, shall we?

That was amusing, but wouldn’t it be even more fun hearing some of this stuff right from the horse’s mouth? Well, simply ask and you shall receive…

Romney will have a lot of ‘splainin’ to do during primary debates regarding his many flip=flops, but especially “the biggee” with regard to health care reform. Another obstacle for Romney and most all Republicans however, is that he does not have a sense of humor. Let’s face it, Republicans are not funny. They lack the comedy gene. Do any of you remember the disaster of a conservative television comedy show which was “The 1/2 Hour News Hour” which aired on Fox News (where else)? Suffice to say, the show was canceled after only 14 episodes. Shall we have a look see?

Boy, that was especially funny in light of the Tucson shootings!

But we digress. We were talking about Mitt Romney’s “unfunniness”. Many people do not realize that despite the Mittster’s milquetoast Mormon inspired image, he has re-made himself into a laugh riot since 2008. Don’t believe me, then try to watch his appearance last night on “The Late Show With David Letterman” without bursting into tears of laughter.

On second thought, keep your day job, Mitt. That was not funny in the least. By the way, what the heck is Mitt Romney’s day job anyway?

Oh well, Lynnrockets is off to shovel more snow now so please enjoy today’s topical song parody.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody. Please enjoy!

The Great Pretender song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_1oJuwkXr0E

MITT IS THE GREAT PRETENDER

(sung to The Platters song “The Great Pretender”)

Oh yes, Mitt’s the great pretender
Pretending that he is so swell
His needs are such; he pretends too much
The truth he simply cannot tell

Oh yes, Mitt’s the great pretender
Romney’s true beliefs are unknown
Mitt plays the game; flip-flops without shame
With no firm beliefs of his own

He was pro-choice he had us all believe
But when he faced strife, he switched up to pro-life

Oh yes, Mitt’s the great pretender
His opinion changes by town
Mitt claims to be what he’s not; you see
He wears his deceit like a crown
Romney is a flip-flopping clown

In Mass., health reform was what he achieved
He now says he feels health reform needs repeal

Yes, Mitt’s the great pretender
Just switching positions around
Ol’ Mitt Romney is not what you see
He wears his deceit like a crown
Romney is a flip-flopping clown

Bristol and Levi Say, “Let’s Get Real”

Bristol Palin shooting the pilot episode of "Tripp Knows Best"

Lynnrockets’ Blast-Off hopes that all of you regular readers had a happy and healthy weekend. Now, let’s get back back to the fun and juicy stuff, shall we?

A number of media outlets including the Toronto Star, E Online and Scify.com are confirming the rumor that the reunited Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston have been trying to shop a reality television series about themselves just like media hog Sarah Palin did. TMZ.com reports that the couple plans to use baby Tripp as an integral part of the show. Gee, using your minor children as publicity props, where did Bristol and Levi ever come up with that novel idea?

Finding a network to air the show might be a problem for the on-again, off-again, on-again lovers, however. The New York post quoted one network executive as saying, “Don’t think we should do it. Neither of them have personalities.” Joy Behar of The View said, “It’s like Romeo and Juliet in Wasilla.”

Even the late night talk show hosts have taken notice of the born again virgin’s reconciliation with the high school drop-out. Jay Leno said,

This week Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston reveal exclusively to Us Weekly – my bible – that they are getting married. Sarah Palin, allegedly, is not happy about this because she feels they barely know each other and they are making a big committment – kind of like when John McCain picked her for vice president. I understand it’s not going to be a traditional wedding. Rumor is that Bristol has asked Levi to wear his camouflage hunting vest – which would be the closest he’s ever come to wearing protection of any kind.

David Letterman quipped,

You guys remember Levi Johnston? He’ll be arriving in at the church tied to Sarah Palin’s pickup.

We can’t wait to hear what Craig Ferguson has to say on the subject.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Reunited song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PZOhm7qS-AI

REUNITED

(sung to the Peaches and Herb song “Reunited”)

(Levi’s verse)
Let’s pool our dough and buy a double-wide
When I get home I’ll give you quite a ride
I want you so bad cuz it makes Sarah so mad
I realize I like you when you’re on your back, hey-hey

(Bristol’s verse)
I have my very own Plumber-Joe
Let’s do it with Rush on the radio
If I start to gush we can get help from the Dutch
I know now that I love you though you don’t know much, hey-hey

(Chorus)
Reunited, right here on the hood
Reunited, Levi’s sporting wood
First Dude don’t like it and Sarah’s pitching a fit
We’ll both be extradited cuz we’re reunited, hey-hey

(Levi’s verse)
I got so tired of my blow-up doll
And all the fellas in the men’s room stall
They said I’d go blind if I pulled on what was mine
I did whatever I could just to earn a dime, hey-hey

(Bristol’s verse)
I took a beatin’ honey, every day
Cuz that’s the Sarah Palin lovin’ way
Her voice is a hiss, she has a venomous kiss
Her skin looks like old leather from some deep abyss, hey-hey

(Chorus)
Reunited, this time it’s for good
Reunited, off to Hollywood
We’re a perfect fit, that Sarah she don’t know shit
We hope she gets indicted, we would be excited, hey-hey

(Levi and Bristol’s verse)
Oh,
Holy Mother, we’re so much in love
And Sarah Palin blames the Lord above
We are not gay and we are both white
So we don’t understand why she says its not right, hey-hey

(Chorus)
Reunited, this time it’s for good
Reunited, we’re misunderstood
We’re a perfect fit, that Sarah she don’t know shit
The world is so excited cuz we’re reunited, hey-hey

Wednesday Night Music Byte

Oh, what the heck let’s have another one from Boston’s Dropkick Murphy’s.

In honor of the Boston Bruins’ historic Winter Classic hockey game to be played outdoors at Fenway Park at 1:00 pm EST on New Year’s Day, we thought it would be appropriate to feature a Boston band that are also Bruins (and Red Sox) fans.

Dropkick Murphys are an American Celtic punk band formed in Quincy, Massachusetts. First playing together in the basement of a friend’s barbershop, they blended traditional folk rock and punk rock known as Celtic punk. Their influences include Stiff Little Fingers, The Pogues, The Clash, Thin Lizzy, The Dubliners, Hot Water Music, and the Swingin’ Utters.

Tonight’s video clip is the Dropkick Murphys playing their song “The State Of Massachusetts” on the David Letterman show. We have provided the lyrics because we understand how difficult it can be for some of you to understand a Boston/Irish accent while screamed in traditional punk rock fashion. Please enjoy.

THE STATE OF MASSACHUSETTS

she had excuses and she chose to use them
she was the victim of unspeakable abuses
her husband was violent, malicious and distant
her kids now belong to the state of Massachusetts!

they’ve been taken away!
they’ve been taken away!

[chorus:]
Billy was the bright one
tommy’s off his head
mother loved them both the same,at least thats what she said
i don’t predict the future, i don’t care about the past
send them both to DSS, now you had your chance
the posion took your babies
the judges took your rights
you can have your children or the night!
I supposed youve been a victim
though i suspect you may have lied
have you lost all ambition why don’t you give this thing a try
if you can’t and you fail won’t be the only loser
these kid don’t stand a chance with you in their future!

they’ve been taken away!
they’ve been taken away!

[chorus x2]

Letterman Goes “Rogue” On Palin – Again!

palinletterman2

Just a quick post this morning for those of you that might have missed David Letterman last night. Once again, the target of his lampooning was the ex-quitting governor of Alaska, Sarah Palin. His “Top Ten” list was the tips Sarah Palin could give about writing a book. It is hilarious. Do you think Palin now realizes that it may have been a mistake to publicly attack Letterman a few months ago? Was she not aware of the fact that he has a nightly television audience in the millions and he now has every reason to skewer her every chance he gets? Poor Sarah, will she never learn? Enjoy the clip.

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.

Oh My My song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e1C6rFWfYMg

OH MY MY

(sung to the Ringo Starr song “Oh My My”)

She called up John Ziegler to see what’s the matter
He said, “come on over”
“And wear your tin hat, dear”
Her knees started shakin’, her head started achin’
When John Ziegler said to she:

Oh my my, oh my my, Dave Letterman, poked your eye
Oh my my, oh my my, We can fire him, if we lie
Oh my my, oh my my, it’s guaranteed to keep you alive

Let’s give Dave a screwin’, then we’ll get Jay Leno
Then let’s can O’Brien, if we are able
Then Sarah was squealin’ “you betta believe I’ll…”
“Stay away from Tina Fey”

Oh my my, oh my my, Dave Letterman, poked my eye
Oh my my, oh my my, I can fire him, if I lie
Oh my my, if I try, it’s guaranteed to keep me alive

(musical interlude)

Now if Dave should back down and take back his joke now
Remember your daughter, make it even hotter
It’s you he was dissin’, so don’t even listen
Don’t accept his apology

Oh my my, oh my my, Dave Letterman, poked your eye
Oh my my, oh my my, We can fire him, if we lie
Oh my my, oh my my, it’s guaranteed to keep you alive

(repeat to end)

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