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Staffers Fleeing The Sinking S.S. Bachmann

Seperated at birth

Many have speculated that Republicans in Congress have planned to do what they they can to prevent the economy from improving at least until the 2012 elections. The theory is, that if the economy fails to significantly improve, the GOP can blame President Obama and Congressional Democrats and convince voters to support Republicans in November 2012. This plot was evident back in November 2010 when Republican Senate leader Mitch McConnell unabashedly admitted that, “the single most important thing we want to achieve is for President Obama to be a one-term president.” The GOP plan was further revealed in the very basic fact that the Republican majority House of Representatives has failed to pass a single jobs bill since taking control of that chamber in 2010. It is clear that Republicans do not care about helping the economy and the 99% of American citizens who are suffering. They care only about themselves and the next election.

Republican presidential candidate Michele Bachmann is no different. In fact, she has gone one step further and personally contributed to the nation’s unemployment problem. Bachmann has reportedly failed to pay her New Hampshire staff members for over a month, thereby causing them to quit en masse last Friday. Consequently, there are now five more people on the unemployment rolls.

Bachmann appeared dumbfounded when asked the defections. On Friday, she appeared on an Iowa radio station and said, “This is a shocking story to me, I don’t know where that came from. We have called staff in New Hampshire to find out where that came from and the staff have said that isn’t true, so I don’t know if this is just a bad story that’s being fed by a different candidate or campaign. I have no idea where this came from, but we’ve made calls and it’s certainly not true.”

Apparently Bachmann made calls to the wrong people because it is true that her staff has quit. This should not have come as a surprise to the moonbat-crazy Bachmann inasmuch as she has already suffered a string of defections since she declared her candidacy. She previously lost campaign manager Ed Rollins, deputy manager David Polyansky, pollster Ed Goeas, adviser Andy Parish and spokesperson Doug Sachtleben. Indeed, Bachmann has proven that she is surely not one of those GOP-heralded “job creators” who they are always defending.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Bette Davis Eyes” song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ifDycyRNpcI

MICHELE BACHMANN EYES

 (sung to the Kim Carnes song “Bette Davis Eyes”)

Her hair is wild and bold
Her breath smells like fries
Her hands are always cold
She’s got Michele Bachmann eyes
She’s a Tea Party pawn
And she never thinks twice
She’s running out of dough
She’s got Michele Bachmann eyes

And she’ll fleece you
She’ll displease you
With no substance, she’ll just tease you
She’s atrocious
And we knows just what it
Takes to make this ‘Ho blush
She wants to embargo seven guys
She’s got Michele Bachmann eyes

She’s out there all alone
Confused and so uptight
Don’t listen to her drone
She’s got Michele Bachmann eyes
She’s made a fumble or two
Misspoken more than twice
Staffers quit on her too
She’s got Michele Bachmann eyes

And she’ll fleece you
She’ll displease you
With no substance, she’ll just tease you
She’s atrocious
And we knows just what it
Takes to make this ‘Ho blush
She wants to embargo seven guys
She’s got Bette Davis eyes

She’ll tease you
She’ll unease you
Just to squeeze you
She’s got Michele Bachmann eyes

She’ll confuse you
And she’ll lose you
(fade to end)

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The GOP’s Debt Ceiling Dilemma

Debt Ceiling Dopes

The Republicans have truly painted themselves into a corner with regard to their refusal to raise the debt ceiling.  Their demand that the ceiling may only be raised along with substantial entitlement cuts but without any tax increases for the wealthy or the closing of tax loopholes for corporations, is unrealistic. Unfortunately for the GOP, the American public has seen through the charade.

CNN reports that a Quinnipiac University survey indicates that two-thirds of the public say an agreement to raise the debt limit should include tax hikes for wealthy Americans and corporations, not just spending cuts. According to the poll, almost half of voters say congressional Republicans would be mainly responsible if there’s no agreement, with 34 percent saying the Obama administration would be most at blame. By a 49 to 33 percent margin, independent voters would blame the GOP more than the administration. Additionally, a Gallup poll released Wednesday reveals that 73% of Americans believe that some sort of tax increase should be included with raising the debt ceiling. These polls indicate that the Republican Party is out of step with the majority of Americans.

The entrenched Republicans understand their unpopular position but most can do nothing to extricate themselves from it. The reason for their dilemma is that most every member of the GOP. has signed a no-tax-hike pledge. A whopping 235 House members and 41 senators, almost all of them Republicans, signed a pledge written by Americans for Tax Reform President Grover Norquist, in which they promised not to raise taxes for any reason whatsoever. Consequently, they face being called liars if they do the right thing and abide by the wishes of Americans to include increased tax revenues in a debt ceiling bill.

Republicans do not want to anger their small but radically conservative base by breaking their pledge, so their new tactic is to try to fool the American public into believing that an American credit default would not be disastrous. Everyday we hear some Tea Party backed Republican proclaim that things would pretty much carry on as normal if the nation defaults. Even Presidential candidates Ron Paul and Michele Bachmann are echoing that fallacy.

The reality however, is that a national credit default would cause untold damage to our frail economy. Interest rates would likely soar as the value of the dollar plummets. Our debt obligations would also increase drastically as the result of higher interest rates on our national debt. Our nation would also be faced with the difficult decision of deciding between paying our creditors or meeting our obligations to Social Security recipients and military families. A truly bad situation.

To put things in better perspective, the aptly-named Perspectives.com offers this wonderful list of “The 10 Things The GOP Does Not Want You To Know About The Debt“:

  1. Republican Leaders Agree U.S. Default Would Be a “Financial Disaster”
  2. Ronald Reagan Tripled the National Debt
  3. George W. Bush Doubled the National Debt
  4. Republicans Voted Seven Times to Raise Debt Ceiling for President Bush
  5. Federal Taxes Are Now at a 60 Year Low
  6. Bush Tax Cuts Didn’t Pay for Themselves or Spur “Job Creators”
  7. Ryan Budget Delivers Another Tax Cut Windfall for Wealthy
  8. Ryan Budget Will Require Raising Debt Ceiling – Repeatedly
  9. Tax Cuts Drive the Next Decade of Debt
  10. $3 Trillion Tab for Unfunded Wars Remains Unpaid

Sometimes the facts and the truth can prove to be painful. In this case they are truly painful to the Republican Party.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s very topical song parody.

Welcome To My Nightmare song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IKpEoRlcHfA

WELCOME TO MY NIGHTMARE

(sung to the Alice Cooper song “Welcome To My Nightmare”)

Welcome to my nightmare
You ain’t seen nothin’ like it
I think you’re gonna feel
Something’s wrong

A cerebral vacation
Republicans need sedation
Their mouths will be filled with foam
Before too long

Welcome to my nightmare, ohh

Welcome to my breakdown
Does Eric Cantor scare you?
That’s just the way they are
In Red State towns

They sweat and laugh and scream there
Mann Coulter’s their wet dream there
He really makes them feel
Right at home, there

Welcome to my breakdown, ohh
You’re welcome to my nightmare, yeah

(hypocrisy break)

Welcome to my nightmare
You know I just don’t like it
G.O.P. makes me feel
I don’t belong

They lie and shout and scream there
And Palin is their queen there
They all giggle and squeal
At her throne, there

Welcome to my nightmare, ohh
Welcome to my breakdown
Yeah!

(great instrumental fade out)

Scott “Nudist” Brown (R-MA) Is Evicted

Brown yuks it up for last time in "Kennedy's seat"

Last January, Republican candidate Scott Brown famously proclaimed that he was not running to fill “Ted Kennedy’s Senate seat”, but what he referred to as “the Peoples’ seat”. His campaign coffers were stuffed with money from out of state Tea-Bagger donations. He was endorsed by Sarah Palin. He won the election. He became the poster-child for defeat of Health Care Reform and was considered a potential 2012 GOP candidate for President.

A lot has changed since last January 25th. First, the clothing-challenged freshman senator never had that opportunity to cast his oft-referenced 41st vote against Health Care Reform. The Democrats outmaneuvered Brown and denied him the chance to become a Republican hero when they passed the law via the reconciliation and modification procedure which required only 51 Senate votes. Strike one. Next, the former nude centerfold model realized that in order to be re-elected in the dark blue Commonwealth of Massachusetts in 2012, he would need to legislate from the center. Consequently, Brown began casting votes with the Democrats on bills that were vehemently opposed by the conservative right. Strike Two. Brown then quite publicly avoided Sarah Palin’s Tea Party rally on Boston Common last April and then added insult to injury by proclaiming that he would not endorse the ex-quitting former half-term Governor of Alaska if she chose to run for President. Strike three.

And now Scott Brown is out. Not out of public office (yet). But he is out of “Ted Kennedy’s seat”. Little did Brown imagine back in January when he symbolically said he would not occupy “Kennedy’s seat” that his prediction would become a literal fact. You see, yesterday Brown was punished for his disloyalty by the Republican leadership. The Boston Globe reports that in a barely publicized power-play, Senate Republican Leader Mitch McConnell decided to take over the prime Capitol Hill office of the late Senator Kennedy. McConnell is effectively evicting Scott Brown, who inherited the office after winning the election. The office, on the third floor of the Senate’s Russell Office Building, boasts an outdoor patio and a stunning view of the Capitol building. Brown, as a freshman senator with little seniority, now could be forced to move to the virtual Siberia of Capitol Hill offices.

Scott Brown, we hardly knew ye!

SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT

Lynnrockets needs your help. Boston’s largest talk radio station (WRKO AM) has chosen Lynnrockets as a finalist in its “Next Great Political Blogger Contest”. Yours truly has been selected  by the station’s staff (from over 200 entries) to be one of 10 finalists for a position with the station as a “liberal” blogger. There will be two winners (a “liberal” and a “conservative”) chosen by means of internet votes received. This is our chance to get even with the Palinbots for what they did for Bristol Palin on “Dancing With The Stars”. Like Bristol, I lack talent but with all of you voting for me, I may be able to pull-off an upset win. I offer my eternal gratitude if you loyal Rocketeers will visit the WRKO website (Here) and vote for wait…wait…here comes the spoiler…”Kevin McCarthy”. Looks like I’ve now been officially outed. Please vote early and often as the contest ends on Saturday, December 11th at 11:59pm EST. I would truly appreciate your help and if you really want to be of assistance, please encourage your family and friends to vote also, too!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

I’M DOWN (ON SCOTT BROWN)

(sung to the Beatles song “I’m Down”)

Scott’s tellin’ lies thinking I can’t see
That nude guy is so blind he can’t see
I’m down (I’m really down)
I’m down (Down on Scott Brown)
I’m down (I’m really down)
Watch as I laugh at that nude Scott Brown
(Watch as I laugh) When we vote him down

We’ll all sing when he’s voted away
Brown’s short fling will be over in days
I’m down (I’m really down)
I’m down (Down on Scott Brown)
I’m down (I’m really down)
Watch as I laugh at that nude Scott Brown
(Watch as I laugh) When we vote him down

Once he’s dethroned, he’ll be all by himself
Scott will moan: “They wanted someone else!”
I’m down (I’m really down)
Let’s vote him down (Vote down Scott Brown)
Scott Brown (He’s goin’ down)
Watch as I laugh at that nude Scott Brown
(Watch as I laugh) When we vote him down

(Wow! Scott’s goin’ down!)

Whoo, baaby!

Oh Scott, you’re soon going down (He’s goin’ down)
I guess your down (He’s really down)
We’re down on Scott Brown (He’s goin’ down)
Scott! Brown! (He’s goin’ down)
Let’s hang him upside down
Oh yeh, yeh, yeh, yeh, yeh, he’s down (He’s really down)
Scott baby you’re down (He’s really down)
Let’s hang him upside down (Let’s watch him frown)
Ooh, that Brown (He’s such a clown)
Scott baby you’re down, yeh
Scott baby you’re down, yeh
Scottie, you’re down (You’re really down)
Scott baby you’re down (You’re goin’ down)
Oh, Scottie, Scottie, Scottie! (You’re goin’ down)
Oh, Scottie you’re down (You’re goin’ down)
You’re down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down,  yeh, whoa!!!

Palin v. G.O.P.:There Will Be No Winner

The “Queen of Quit” has done it again. It is now official, Sarah Palin has quit the Republican Party and joined the Tea-Baggers. For the second time in a month Palin has ignored the Republican Party and endorsed a competing Tea Party candidate. First she endorsed racist Tea-Bagger Rand Paul over the Mitch McConnell endorsed Republican Trey Grayson in the Kentucky Senate primary. Now she has endorsed Tea Party activist Clint Didier over the National Republican Senatorial Committee endorsed Dino Rossi in the Washington Senatorial race.

Palin’s endorsement of Didier came via Twitter, her favorite sophomoric form of communication. On Thursday, Palin “tweeted” that she is “inspired” by Didier and said he is a “patriot running for U.S. Senate to serve his state & our country for all the right reasons!”

This is good news for Democrats. Republicans and Tea-Baggers share many of the same right-wing conservative philosophies. Consequently the newly emergent Tea Party draws virtually all of its members from the Republican Party. The G.O.P. gets smaller and then must publicly battle with Tea-Baggers before even earning the chance to run against the Democratic Party candidate in a general election. The Tea-Bagger or Republican that wins the primary then comes to the general election already dripping with mud. Advantage – Democrat.

This scenario is presently playing out in the Washington state Senatorial race. Didier (Tea Party) has already attacked Rossi (Republican), painting him as  firmly entrenched in the Republican establishment. “If people want more of the same, the McCain or Bush type of governing, then they can support Dino,” Didier said in a statement earlier this month.

All of this my friends, is another glaring example of the “Palin Rule”. Whatever Palin touches, turns to crap!

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Wonderful World (Don’t Know Much) link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jNO72aCnVr0

RIGHT WING WORLD (DON’T KNOW MUCH)

(sung to the Sam Cooke song “Wonderful World”)

Don’t know much about geography
Don’t know much ecology
Don’t know much about that climate change
Don’t know why voters think I am strange

But I do know I love my shoes
And I really love my beehive ‘do
What a right wing world this should be

Don’t have much of an education
I know a lot about procreation
Opposition should have no voice
Pregnant women should have no choice

Yes, I do practice “politics of hate”
And I love to equivocate
What a right wing world this should be

Now I don’t claim that I can see Russia
From my living room bay
And I do not star on “Thirty Rock”, baby
That’s the talented Tina Fey

Don’t know much about interviews
Don’t know many Supreme Court views
Can’t name any books that I’ve read
Sure glad Bristol and Levi aren’t wed

But I do know my time is due
And I’ll be there in 2-0-1-2
What a right wing world this will be

And I do know you’ll love Sarah P.
We’ll be a nation of Scientology
What a right wing world this will be

Republicans: Big Banks and Big Fish Stories!

It was refreshing last weekend to see both President Obama and the main stream media publicly call out the Republican Party leadership and the banking industry for jointly trying to defeat the passage of a strict financial institution regulatory law which is aimed at preventing another financial meltdown followed by a taxpayer bailout. Both Obama and CNN‘s Candy Crowley exposed the ugly truth that G.O.P.ers Mitch McConnell and John Cornyn met with two dozen top Wall Street executives last week in an effort to craft a means to defeat any strong financial institution regulation proposed by Democrats.

In his weekly address on Saturday, President Obama said that the strict regulations sought by Democrats,

have not exactly been welcomed by the people who profit from the status quo – as well their allies in Washington. This is probably why the special interests have spent a lot of time and money lobbying to kill or weaken the bill. Just the other day, in fact, the leader of the Senate Republicans and the chair of the Republican Senate campaign committee met with two dozen top Wall Street executives to talk about how to block progress on this issue. Lo and behold, when he returned to Washington, the Senate Republican Leader came out against the common-sense reforms we’ve proposed.

Then on CNN‘s State Of The Union on Sunday, Candy Crowley grilled Mitch McConnell as to whether the meeting took place, what was said during the meeting and if, and why John Cornyn was present. McConnell was forced to admit that the meeting took place and that Cornyn was present. He appeared to contradict himself however, while trying to explain the content of the conversation.

First he said, “Well, we certainly didn’t talk about blocking the bill, I don’t know anybody who’s in favor of blocking this bill.” Then when Crowley followed up by asking what the Wall Street executives asked McConnell and Cornyn, he said, “Well, they have concerns about the bill,” adding that he thought the Senate ought to “go back to the drawing board” and fix the legislation. So, it appears that the G.O.P. gameplan for financial reform mirrors its failed opposition to health care reform: Scratch the whole thing and start over with some new regulation at a later date, preferably after the November 2010 elections. Once again, the Republicans are a “Party Without a Plan”.

Crowley was forced to ask McConnell three times why John Cornyn was present at the meeting before receiving this circuitous answer,

Well, look, we were talking about financial regulation, as everybody in the country is talking about it. Most of the people in New York supported the president, the vast majority of them are on his side. They supported him during the election, they still support him. Is he saying we shouldn’t sit down with his supporters and talk about a bill that he thinks we ought to pass and that I think we ought to pass? This is absurd, he…

Really Mr. McConnell, that is all well and good but why was John Cornyn with you? When Crowley asked the question again, McConnell responded,

Candy, [Obama] is the one who is trying to politicize this issue. We are the ones who are trying to get it right.

When asked a third time, McConnell finally said,

Sen. Cornyn is a United States senator from Texas. He is going to be voting on this issue like all the rest of us are. Simply because we are all involved in politics, as is the president, it doesn’t mean that we can’t discuss issues with people that we meet around the country who are deeply involved and concerned about what we are doing.

Boy Mitch, that really cleared things up. We still don’t understand why Cornyn was there and in the same interview you said that that the bill should be passed and that it should be scratched. What are you talking about? Why don’t you just admit the obvious truth. The Republican Party and the Wall Street bankers are in bed together in a manner that resembles so many other G.O.P. tawdry trysts.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody. Have fun!

God Bless The U.S.A. song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r-9_fDEsv-Q

PROUD TO BE A REPUBLICAN

(sung to the Lee Greenwood song “God Bless The U.S.A.”)

If tomorrow all my brains were gone
And I was just plant life
With a feeding tube shoved in
Against the wishes of my wife
I’d thank my lucky stars the G.O.P. had their way
And curtailed my family’s freedom
Made them watch me waste away

Boy, I’m proud to be a Republican
Like Huckabee and Romney
And I won’t forget Glenn Beck who cried
Right there on Fox TV
Cuz they’ll gladly stand up next to you
And berate your union pay
I just love those hate filled flames they fan
They hate the U.S.A.

Bachmann hates in Minnesota
Alaska has Sarah P.
Rick Perry down in Texas
They’re in the Tea Party
Not Detroit nor in Boston
Too liberal, black and gay
There’s no soul in any Republican heart
And they love it just that way

Yes, I’m proud to be a Republican
Just like Rush and Hannity
And I love the facts they do deny
Right there on Fox TV
And I’ll gladly stand up next to you
And castigate Tina Fey
Cuz I never doubt those Red State men
No matter what they say

Oh, I’m proud to be a Republican
As I sit here sipping tea
Palin’s “death panels” can’t be denied
They say on Fox TV
Sarah sends a Twitter –  text to you
Six or seven times a day
It’s Republicans that love this land
In our per-ver-ted way!

Good Grief, Scottie Brown Is A Lot Like Charlie Brown

In retrospect, the best thing that could have happened for the progressive cause might have been the surprising election of Republican nudist Scott Brown in last January’s special election to fill Ted Kennedy’s Massachusetts Senate seat. Scott Brown was an entirely unknown “birther” conspiricist until the Tea-Baggers donned him their poster child for change. Out of state money flooded into Massachusetts and Brown’s momentum begin to mount. He defeated the Democratic Party nominee Martha Coakley (the incumbent Attorney General) but things have gone downhill for Brown, the Republicans and the conservative movement since that high-water mark (perhaps that was a poor analogy since Boston is presently being flooded by massive rain and historically high tides). Nevertheless, consider these facts.

In his very first Senate vote, Brown split with conservative Republicans first by breaking a G.O.P. filibuster and then by joining Democrats in voting for the passage of a jobs bill that was opposed by conservatives. Suddenly, Brown’s status as the “savior of the right” was “stripped” (pun intended) by lunatic right-wing pundits such as Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck, Mann Coulter and Michelle Malkin. The oft dreamed about Brown/Palin ticket for 2012 was now in question since the mindless, follow their leader “ditto-heads” and “Tea-Baggers” were angered by the nude upstart’s rejection of their marching orders.

Throughout his Senate campaign and immediately upon his election, Brown proudly declared that he “would be the 41st vote, not the 60th” in the conservative battle against the Democrats’ faltering health care reform bill. He claimed that he would be the person most solely responsible for the defeat of any such bill. He said that the American people were against massive health care reform and so was he. Unfortunately for Brown however, it was quickly revealed that while in the Massachusetts State Senate he actually voted in favor of the passage of that state’s universal health care reform bill which was far more “socialist” than the pending national plans and even included a strict “mandate” and government subsidies requiring that all state citizens  purchase health insurance. Oops.

Another thing that happened when Scott Brown “nakedly” (OK, I couldn’t help myself) threw down the gauntlet against health care reform is that the Democrats (no longer with a filibuster proof majority) were forced to grow a backbone so as to galvanize their support and the ultimate passage of legislation. First, President Barack Obama became directly involved by means of factually slapping down most every Republican contrarian talking point at the House Republican Retreat in Baltimore. The event was unscripted (i.e. there could be no teleprompter criticisms) and Obama eloquently articulated every positive feature of health care reform while the assembly of Republicans was unable to mount a credible opposition. Next, Obama exposed the Republicans as the “Party of No Ideas” at his nationally televised Health Care Reform Forum. Truth be told, Obama agreed to consider a few Republican concerns such as limited medical malpractice tort reform and further action against Medicare fraud which portrayed him in the eyes of the viewing audience as a reasonable negotiator. On the other hand, not one Republican offered anything but derailing the entire bill and starting from scratch. No bilateralism there and the American people now know it. Rather than address the substance of the Forum, Scott Brown merely characterized it as a dog and pony show which revealed that he has little grasp of the complex issues involved.

The obstructionist ways of the Republican Party were revealed to the American people at Obama’s Health Care Forum and that gave congressional Democrats the political cover to pass a bill via the reconciliation process which would frustrate any Republican attempt to filibuster. Scott Brown and the Republicans cried foul, but Obama and the Democrats retorted that 16 of the last 22 bills passed by the reconciliation process were done so by the G.O.P. Remember that adage about throwing stones in glass houses? Not to be silenced however, Scott Brown publicly criticized the President and congressional Democrats once again last week when he said they were on a “bitter, destructive and endless drive to pass health care.” He went on to say that the passage of massive health care reform is “against the will” of the American people. Unfortunately, Scott brown must have missed the most recent AP/GfK Poll which revealed that 50% of Americans believe the health care system should be changed “a great deal” and only 4% believe that the system should not be changed. It now appears that a Democratic health care reform bill will pass and it will be supported by the majority of Americans.

Consequently, the election of the clothing challenged Scott Brown had exactly the opposite of its intended effect. Scott Brown did not defeat health care reform. Since his election, the movement has gained momentum in Congress and gained support by the American people. Passage of the legislation is now imminent. Like Charlie Brown,  everything Scott Brown touches seems to backfire on him and also like Charlie Brown, all Scott Brown can say is, “Good Grief!”


Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s newly penned song parody.

Charlie Brown song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_UnPzp2lmNk

SCOTTIE BROWN

(sung to the Coasters song “Charlie Brown”)

Fe-fe, fi-fi, fo-fo, fum
He’s the senator that will bare his bum

Scottie Brown, Scottie Brown
He’s a clown, that nude Scott Brown
He likes to bare his bod
In those magazines
(That’s why everybody’s always pickin’ on me)

That’s him on his knees
I know that’s him
Yeah, from 7 come 11
Down in the Senate gym

Scottie Brown, Scottie Brown
He’s a clown, that nude Scott Brown
Craig thinks that he’s hot
He hopes to steal a peek
(Why’s everybody always pickin’ on me)

Who’s always nude at the roll call?
Who’s lurking in the men’s room stalls?
Who’s sporting his bat and balls?
Guess who? (who me?) yeah, you!

Who walks through the Senate dumb and slow?
Who calls Mitch McConnell, Daddy-O?

Scottie Brown, Scottie Brown
He’s going down, next time around
His votes can be bought
Just you wait and see
(Why’s everybody always pickin’ on me)

(musical interlude)

He is in the Party that says “No”
With his private parts swinging to and fro

Scottie Brown, Scottie Brown
He’s a clown, that nude Scott Brown
He’s showing a lot
His bum, his wee-wee
(Why’s everybody always pickin’ on me)

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 21

Just a few noteworthy news stories that have been careening around the stratosphere this week.

BREAKING NEWS: And now, for this weeks episode of Republican Hypocrites we have John Boehner (pronounced, boner) and Mitch McConnell. The two Republican leaders have taken a new tact in obstructing the Senate health care reform bill. They are publicly proclaiming that proposed amendments to the  bill are being negotiated by the Democratic majority “behind closed doors.” In an effort to nip that allegation in the bud, Democratic Senator Harry Reid immediately suggested that all proposed amendments to the bill be posted online for  public scrutiny. The Republican leadership of course, rejected the suggestion outright.

THIS JUST IN: The Harlem Gospel Choir has pulled a Sarah Palin and backed out of an appearance on Glenn Beck’s Christmas special at the last moment. Good for them. They were alerted to Beck’s overtly racist mindset by Color Of Change, the group which successfully orchestrated the Glenn Beck advertiser boycott. Nobody noticed the choir’s absence however, because Beck’s show was a bust. Only 17 tickets were sold in Boston and New York City. This highlights the point that Beck’s audience is a lot smaller than he thinks.

BREAKING NEWS: Republican Congresswoman Michele Bachmann’s constituents suffer from the highest percentage of home foreclosures in the state of Minnesota. Bachmann’s district had 1097 foreclosures in July, August and September 2009. Let’s hope that her homeless constituents are aware of the fact that Bachmann voted against every major piece of foreclosure-relief legislation brought before the House during her term in office.

THIS JUST IN: Former Fox News Watch host Eric Burns has some strong words regarding the Fox Network and Glenn Beck. He writes on the Huffington Post that he used to work for a “right-wing partial-news-but-mostly-opinion-network.” As for Glenn beck, he said,

I speak out now because it is the time of year when one is supposed to count blessings. I have several. Among them is that I do not have to face the ethical problem of sharing an employer with Glenn Beck.

Actually, Beck is a problem of taste as well as ethics. He laughs and cries; he pouts and giggles; he makes funny faces and grins like a cartoon character; he makes earnest faces yet insists he is a clown; he cavorts like a victim of St. Vitus’s Dance. His means of communicating are, in other words, so wide-ranging as to suggest derangement as much as versatility.

BREAKING NEWS: On Thursday, Senate Democrats voted to keep nearly $ 500 billion in Medicare cuts in their version of the health care reform bill. By a vote of 58 to 42 they rejected Republican Senator John McCain’s proposal to strip out the cuts. Isn’t it ironic that the political party that has opposed the Medicare program from its inception now portrays itself as its champion? The cuts to the program will not limit medical services to recipients nor increase co-pays and the cuts are supported by AARP.

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of Foolish Republican Tricks that Backfired features Senators David “Diaper Wearing” Vitter and Tom Coburn. The two tricky Republicans filed an amendment to the health care reform bill which would require that all members of Congress enroll in the “public option.” They believed that no self respecting legislator would ever submit his own health care to such a lousy plan. Problem is, Democrats Sherrod Brown, Al Franken, Barbara Mikulski and Chris Dodd have all agreed not only to enroll in the public option but also to co-sponsor the amendment with the two Republicans. Once their bluff was called, the cowardly Republicans retracted the amendment.

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of Blue-Dog Democrats Behaving Badly features Senator Max Baucus of Montana. Baucus is best known as the jerk who did whatever he could to prevent a public option from appearing in the Senate version of the health care reform bill. We learned this week that Baucus has also sided with the Republicans in their favorite pastime, adultery. Baucus has now admitted that he was carrying on an affair with his state office director, at the same time that he nominated her to be U.S. Attorney in Montana. He may as well just switch party affiliation at this point.

THIS JUST IN: In this week’s episode of Indefensible Republican Votes we have the 30 Republican Senators that voted against an amendment to a defense spending bill that would withhold government contracts from companies that refused to let employee rape victims bring the rape cases before courts of law. ‘Nuff said.

Remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along to today’s song parody.

Every Kind Of People song link: http://www.ilike.com/artist/Robert+Palmer/track/Every+Kinda+People

EVERY KIND OF PEOPLE

(sung to the Robert Palmer version of the song “Every Kind Of People”)

The far right always competes
They all lie and then misspeak
Try to keep their jobs
Fighting to land a spot on Fox

It takes every kind of people
To make that right wing sound
Every kind of people
To vainly scream and shout

We’re not sure Glenn Beck can read
Is Ann Coulter a he or is it a she?
O’Reilly seems so damn uptight
Limbaugh cannot keep a wife

Though they profit by deceit
Honest men know that
Fox will suffer defeat
If you’re anything but white
Fox News will insult you with delight

It takes every kind of people
To make that right wing sound
Every kind of people
To vainly scream and shout

(musical interlude)

You know that hate’s their only goal
They learned that long ago from Bob Dole
Hey, and they are all insane
Looking to always pass the blame

It takes every kind of people
To make that right wing sound
It takes every kind of people
To vainly scream and shout

Every kind of people
To vainly scream and shout
It takes very kind of people