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A Lynnrockets Rant

It appears to me that we, as a nation, may have a problem when the current crop of college students and those in our high schools and elementary schools assume the responsibility of running things.

I understand that mine is not a novel opinion. This is not an original theory which is being voiced for the first time. I am approaching 50 years of age and I distinctly remember many in my parents’ and grandparents’ generation bemoaning this same potential problem. The difference however, is the likelihood of such a worry actually coming to fruition. I believe that, unlike that of our forebears, my concern is both grounded in fact and by statistics.

As most of you know, I live in Boston, Massachusetts. This city has long been known as the Mecca of Education in the United States. The state boasts the best public and private elementary and secondary schools in the nation. There are over 120 colleges and universities in metropolitan Boston alone, including such diamonds as Harvard University, The Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT), Tufts University and Berklee College of Music. Fortune magazine has deemed Massachusetts to be “America’s Smartest State” with 16% of its population having advanced degrees and 61.8% having a college education. Also, the Science and Engineering Readiness Index (SERI) proclaimed Massachusetts as having the best primary education system in the nation (Math and Science) based on publicly available data, including Advanced Placement scores, National Assessment of Educational Progress reports, teacher certification requirements by state and physics class enrollment data.

Despite the educational acumen of my home state however, I have been witnessing a disturbing trend in the last number of years. Parents seem to be too involved in their children’s lives for far too long. I must admit that I have no children and therefore I may not be aware of the degree of a parent’s innate nurturing nature for his her/her children. I did however, have parents of my own and I witnessed the actions of my friends’ parents, so I am not completely ignorant of the sort of symbiotic relationship between parent and child. My childlessness has also provided me the opportunity to have a somewhat objective view of these relationships inasmuch as I am not a member of  “the parent club”.

When I was growing up in the late 1960s and 1970s, my parents stressed the importance of both education and achievement. I was encouraged to do well in school and on the playing field. My parents provided assistance and guidance but they made sure that I was the major participant in those endeavors. They helped with my homework (if they could) when I was struggling and they cheered my team on during sporting events. They applauded my good grades and good games and they consoled me for lesser grades and less stellar physical prowess. In short, they provided the foundation upon which I personally would be responsible for building the finished structure which would become the adult me.

I do not believe that such is the common system of parenting today. It appears to me that today’s parents view the child as an extension of themselves rather than a separate and distinct being. Time and again I am astonished to witness the degree to which today’s parents inject themselves into their child’s endeavors to the extent that the parent seems to be living vicariously through the child and the child appears to be a hollow shell wholly dependent upon the parent to function.

Many of today’s parents seem to believe that they must make their child achieve. For example, I once worked at a law firm where one of the partners asked me to pick up a package at the office of a U.S. Senator. I asked if it had something to do with a certain project we were involved with. To my great surprise, I was told that it was actually a recommendation for the partner’s son to help him gain admittance to a very exclusive pre-school on Beacon Hill. I was informed that without such a pedigree, a child was unlikely to be admitted and that could spell catastrophe in later years for both the child and parents. Despite the absurdity of the whole thing, I often wondered just what the Senator wrote. Was it something like, “I have known little Billy for all 4 years of his life and find him to be dignified, stylish etc. etc.”

There have also been a number of occasions when my spouse and I have been stood-up by friends who, at the last moment, have cancelled plans with us because they must write their child’s school paper or construct his class project. I know parents who, when their child has been given a low grade, chastise the teacher rather than encourage their child to try harder or pay more attention in class. Today, parents arrange organized “play dates” for their children only with friends they approve rather than letting kids simply play with the other kids in the neighborhood regardless of their parents’ socio-economic status. I notice that on the rare occasion when children are actually playing outside at the park, there is a supervising group of parents on-watch stifling any chance that the children might actually behave like children by means of having the occasional scuffle and establishing the natural childhood pecking order. It seems that every youth sports team now has an individual coach (in the form of his parent) for each player.

Unfortunately, this super-parenting is not just limited to the child’s early and teen years. It carries into college as well. My spouse has worked at a Boston area university for over 25 years and I have been shocked to learn how parents today are involving themselves in their children’s higher education. I am told that parents accompany their children at college during the registration period to advocate for their admission to preferred classes. These parents also telephone professors and attempt to schedule office meetings with professors to discuss their grades.

My spouse also says that over the years there has been an ever-increasing lack of social skills amongst university students. The cafeterias are very quiet because rather than students discussing the day’s events with one another, the vast majority simply sit quietly texting and playing games on smart phones. The same silence and solitude permeates the hallways between classes. The students even avoid making eye contact when speaking with college faculty and staff.

All of this seems to be leading to a future society comprised of individuals who are incapable of making important decisions on their own and averse to personally communicating with either their peers or others. These young Americans have also been pampered to the extent that their grades and achievements are not actually their own. This does not bode well. Decision making and intra-personal communication are skills which a well-functioning society requires. Indeed, statistics are also beginning to illustrate our relative decline. The above referenced SERI study which proclaimed Massachusetts as having the best primary education system in the nation reveals some troubling data as well. The study stated that “the U.S. has lagged behind other countries in math and science. A 2009 study showed that American students ranked 25th among 34 countries, behind nations like China, Singapore, South Korea, Hong Kong and Finland.” It even revealed that Massachusetts “would struggle to compete with countries like China or Singapore.”

I find all of this to be very troubling.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody which was originally penned to describe the poorly educated Sarah Palin.

Wonderful World (Don’t Know Much) link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jNO72aCnVr0

RIGHT WING WORLD (DON’T KNOW MUCH)

(sung to the Sam Cooke song “Wonderful World”)

Don’t know much about geography
Don’t know much ecology
Don’t know much about that climate change
Don’t know why voters think I am strange

But I do know I love my shoes
And I really love my beehive ‘do
What a right wing world this should be

Don’t have much of an education
I know a lot about procreation
Opposition should have no voice
Pregnant women should have no choice

Yes, I do practice “politics of hate”
And I love to equivocate
What a right wing world this should be

Now I don’t claim that I can see Russia
From my living room bay
And I do not star on “Thirty Rock”, baby
That’s the talented Tina Fey

Don’t know much about interviews
Don’t know many Supreme Court views
Can’t name any books that I’ve read
Sure glad Bristol and Levi aren’t wed

But I do know my time is due
And I’ll be there in 2-0-1-2
What a right wing world this will be

And I do know you’ll love Sarah P.
We’ll be a nation of Scientology
What a right wing world this will be

Sarah Palin Boob Tube Theme Songs – Reprise

As the result of a death in our family, we are taking a little bit of a break from posting substantive posts for the next few days. But that is no reason to skip out on some fun song parodies. Inasmuch as Sarah Palin fancies herself the outdoorsy type, we thought we might spoof her with the classic 1960’s theme song from television’s Daniel Boone.

Daniel Boone theme song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qdMA2spF0Bg

SARAH P.

(sung to the theme of “Daniel Boone”)

Sarah P. was a guv.
She was a lame guv.
But McCain was even lamer,
so should we really blame her, golly gee

Sarah P. was a guv.
She was a dumb guv.
But the First Dude was dumber,
so she summoned “Joe the Plumber” to the scene.

From the beehive do on the top of her head
To the spike of her high heeled shoes;
Like a zombie from “Night of the Living Dead”,
She looked so damn confused.

Sarah P. was a guv.
She was a slick guv.
In an attempt to win her hicks back;
Her speeches addressed “Joe Sixpack’ all the time.

Drivin’ demons out with prayer!
A one-time Wasilla mayor, was she!

Sarah P. was a guv.
She was a big guv.
But her quitting nature’s bigger;
So she pulled the quitting trigger, did she.

Sarah P. was a guv.
She was a gun guv.
She loved aerial shootin’;
And would love to blast Mike Wooten from a tree!

She said, “Thanks But No Thanks” and “Drill Baby Drill”
But beyond that had nothin’ to say;
During interviews, she just should have sat still,
Was upstaged by Tina Fey

Sarah P. was a guv.
Was a swine guv.
And she was quite a whiner;
With her lipstick and eye-liner, was she!

Palin Memorial Month Continues…

Now that Sarah Palin has quit once again and her rapid fade from relevance has commenced, we thought it might be fun to memorialize her by re-posting some of our favorite Palin-centric columns and song parodies from the past. Let’s raise our collective glasses and toast the former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska! Ah, Sarah, we hardly knew ye!

This columns were originally posted way back on June 14th, June 15th and June 16th of 2009. They dealt with the feud between Sarah Palin and David Letterman which erupted when Letterman made a joke about one of Palin’s teen daughters getting pregnant out of wedlock.

PALIN’S LATE NIGHT FIGHT

Palin Letterman

OK folks, you knew this one would be coming. So, without further adieu, please enjoy the David Letterman/Sarah Palin song parody.

As usual, please remember to click on the song link below so that you will have much more fun singing along.

You May Be Right song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cih0btgJw8s&feature=related

DAVE MAY BE RIGHT

(sung to the Billy Joel song “You May Be Right”)

Monday night Dave trashed her daughter
Wednesday night he said, “I’m sorry”
Friday night he trashed her once again
He was only having fun
With the Guv’nor with a gun
And we all enjoyed the heated tense exchange

Palin’s living in the twilight zone
She has the thinnest skin we know
Like the Oz Scarecrow she could really use a brain
Polls now show she’s in a dive
And her hair in that beehive
Like we said, this only shows that she’s insane

Dave may be right, Sarah is crazy
But she just may be the lunatic you’re voting for
She’s not too bright, thinking is hazy
Dave may be wrong but I’ll bet the house that Dave is right

Remember when Dave without fear
Called out the slutty clothes she wears
And then Todd, The First Dude went simply wild
He is such a macho man
No longer a Late Show fan
Since Dave Letterman called out his wife and child

Just think of all the jokes Dave will do
That make fun of Ms. Caribou
We will hear them every other day
They’ll be crazy but they’re true
Each time Sarah speaks anew
And we wouldn’t want it any other way

Dave may be right, Sarah is crazy
But she just may be the lunatic you’re voting for
She’s not too bright, thinking is hazy
Dave may be wrong but I’ll bet the house that Dave is right

Dave may be right, Sarah is crazy
But she just may be the lunatic you’re voting for
She’s not too bright, thinking is hazy
Dave may be wrong but I’ll bet the house that Dave is right

Dave may be wrong but I’ll bet the house that Dave is right.
Dave may be wrong but I’ll bet the house that Dave is right.
Dave may be wrong but I’ll bet the house that Dave is right.
Dave may be wrong but I’ll bet the house that Dave is right.
Dave may be wrong but I’ll bet the house that Dave is right.
Dave may be wrong but I’ll bet the house that Dave is right.

HERE’S TO YOU MR. LETTERMAN (PALIN)

Sarah Palin watches Late Nite With David LettermanSarah Palin enjoys Late Nite With David Letterman

We believe that the Sarah Palin/David Letterman feud still has a lot of legs. So here comes the newest song parody.

As always, please remember to click on the song link below because then it is a lot more fun to sing along.

Mrs. Robinson song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_jmDscGi7E

MR. LETTERMAN

(sung to the Simon and Garfunkel song “Mrs. Robinson”)

Dee dee dee dee dee dee dee dee dee dee dee dee
Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo
Dee dee dee dee dee dee dee dee dee dee dee dee dee

And here’s to you, Mr. Letterman
We all love you more than you will know (Wo, wo, wo)
And your Top Ten Mr. Letterman
When you blasted Palin last Monday
(Hey, hey, hey…hey, hey, hey)

She is a little spoiled brat disguised behind her smiles
We’d like to help her learn to help herself
But she is just a lipsticked pig with winking blinking eyes
We pee’d our pants when she got punked on the phone

And here’s to you, Mr. Letterman
We all love you more than you will know (Wo, wo, wo)
And your Top Ten Mr. Letterman
When you blasted Palin last Monday
(Hey, hey, hey…hey, hey, hey)

Sarah P’s too thin skinned to appear on late night shows
She and her whole family are just fruitcakes
Though we are all waiting for some news on her affair
Most of all, she’s got to hide it from her kids

Coo, coo, ca-choo, Mr. Letterman
We all love you more than you will know (Wo, wo, wo)
And your Top Ten Mr. Letterman
When you blasted Palin last Monday
(Hey, hey, hey…hey, hey, hey)

Sitting on her snowmachine most every afternoon
Screwing up her candidates debate
Laugh about it, shout about it
And her foolish shoes
Ev’ry way we look at her, she’ll lose

Where have you gone, Joe The Plumber, oh
Sarah P. turns her blinking eyes to you (Woo, woo, woo)
What’s that you say, Mr. Letterman?
Plumber Joe is your target today
(Hey, hey, hey…hey, hey, hey)

LETTERMAN/PALIN – THE APOLOGY

PalinLetterman3

In an attempt to end their feud, last night, David Letterman offered an on-air apology to Sarah Palin and family for the joke he made about her daughter (Bristol or Willow?) last Monday. The apology was direct and sincere. Of course, Sarah Palin accepted the apology graciously, released a statement saying so and that was the end of the battle.

Hold on just a second. Pardon me. What’s that, Palin did not graciously accept the apology and end the battle? She said what? Oh, this is what she said…

Of course it’s accepted on behalf of young women, like my daughters, who hope men who ‘joke’ about public displays of sexual exploitation of girls will soon evolve. Letterman certainly has the right to ‘joke’ about whatever he wants to, and thankfully we have the right to express our reaction,” Palin said. “This is all thanks to our U.S. Military women and men putting their lives on the line for us to secure America’s Right to Free Speech – in this case, may that right be used to promote equality and respect.

That didn’t sound gracious. By the way, isn’t Palin a christian fundamentalist? Is she allowed by church doctrine to say “evolve” inasmuch as she does not believe in evolution? I am also a little confused about evoking the military as the savior of free speech when it was Letterman’s free speech that she wanted to quelch in the first place. Oh well, let’s have a song…

Remember to click on the song link below because you will have more fun singing along.

Oh My My song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e1C6rFWfYMg

OH MY MY

(sung to the Ringo Starr song “Oh My My”)

She called up John Ziegler to see what’s the matter
He said, “come on over”
“And wear your tin hat, dear”
Her knees started shakin’, her head started achin’
When John Ziegler said to she:

Oh my my, oh my my, Dave Letterman, poked your eye
Oh my my, oh my my, We can fire him, if we lie
Oh my my, oh my my, it’s guaranteed to keep you alive

Let’s give Dave a screwin’, then we’ll get Jay Leno
Then let’s can O’Brien, if we are able
Then Sarah was squealin’ “you betta believe I’ll…”
“Stay away from Tina Fey”

Oh my my, oh my my, Dave Letterman, poked my eye
Oh my my, oh my my, I can fire him, if I lie
Oh my my, if I try, it’s guaranteed to keep me alive

(musical interlude)

Now if Dave should back down and take back his joke now
Remember your daughter, make it even hotter
It’s you he was dissin’, so don’t even listen
Don’t accept his apology

Oh my my, oh my my, Dave Letterman, poked your eye
Oh my my, oh my my, We can fire him, if we lie
Oh my my, oh my my, it’s guaranteed to keep you alive

(repeat to end)

Sarah Palin Is Not Tina’s Fey(vorite) Person

America as a nation owes a substantial debt of gratitude to Tina Fey. This wonderful woman did more to reveal the ridiculousness of Sarah Palin during the 2008 Presidential election campaign than did any single member of the “lamestream” media. OK, Charles Gibson and Katie Couric also did their part. Nevertheless, it was Tina Fey who made it all so humorously memorable. Who will ever forget when she gave a spot-on Palin impersonation and said, “I can see Alaska from my house” or “Katie, I’d like to use one of my lifelines, I’d like to phone a friend”?

How about when she simply parroted the near exact words of Sarah Palin giving an answer during the Katie Couric interview on the subject of the bank bailout which Palin was in favor of before she was against it? If you do not remember that, do not worry. Here it is the original and the Tina Fey version for your viewing pleasure. (For the second video you will be prompted to click on the YouTube link.)

Thanks for the memories, Tina.

Well, lucky for us, Tina Fey is not quite done ribbing Palin. Fey was awarded the 2010 Mark Twain Prize for Humor a few weeks ago and she went at Sarah Palin yet again. Upon accepting the award, she said the following:

I would be a liar and an idiot if I didn’t thank Sarah Palin for helping get me here tonight. My partial resemblance and her crazy voice are the two luckiest things that ever happened to me. And, you know, politics aside, the success of Sarah Palin and women like her is good for all women – except, of course –those who will end up, you know, like, paying for their own rape ‘kit ‘n’ stuff,” Fey said. “But for everybody else, it’s a win-win. Unless you’re a gay woman who wants to marry your partner of 20 years – whatever. But for most women, the success of conservative women is good for all of us. Unless you believe in evolution. You know – actually, I take it back. The whole thing’s a disaster.

You just have to love Tina Fey. Brava!

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT

Lynnrockets needs your help. Boston’s largest talk radio station (WRKO AM) has chosen Lynnrockets as a finalist in its “Next Great Political Blogger Contest”. Yours truly has been selected  by the station’s staff (from over 200 entries) to be one of 10 finalists for a position with the station as a “liberal” blogger. There will be two winners (a “liberal” and a “conservative”) chosen by means of internet votes received. This is our chance to get even with the Palinbots for what they did for Bristol Palin on “Dancing With The Stars”. Like Bristol, I lack talent but with all of you voting for me, I may be able to pull-off an upset win. I offer my eternal gratitude if you loyal Rocketeers will visit the WRKO website (Here) and vote for wait…wait…here comes the spoiler…”Kevin McCarthy”. Looks like I’ve now been officially outed. Please vote early and often as the contest ends on Saturday, December 11th at 11:59pm EST. I would truly appreciate your help and if you really want to be of assistance, please encourage your family and friends to vote also, too!

Wonderful World (Don’t Know Much) link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jNO72aCnVr0

RIGHT WING WORLD (DON’T KNOW MUCH)

(sung to the Sam Cooke song “Wonderful World”)

Don’t know much about geography
Don’t know much ecology
Don’t know much about that climate change
Don’t know why voters think I am strange

But I do know I love my shoes
And I really love my beehive ‘do
What a right wing world this should be

Don’t have much of an education
I know a lot about procreation
Opposition should have no voice
Pregnant women should have no choice

Yes, I do practice “politics of hate”
And I love to equivocate
What a right wing world this should be

Now I don’t claim that I can see Russia
From my living room bay
And I do not star on “Thirty Rock”, baby
That’s the talented Tina Fey

Don’t know much about interviews
Don’t know many Supreme Court views
Can’t name any books that I’ve read
Sure glad Bristol and Levi aren’t wed

But I do know my time is due
And I’ll be there in 2-0-1-2
What a right wing world this will be

And I do know you’ll love Sarah P.
We’ll be a nation of Scientology
What a right wing world this will be

Levi Johnston Says, “I Want MY MTV”

As we’ve said so many times in the past, sometimes these blog entries and song parodies simply write themselves. Today is one of those instances.

The reunited Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston had allegedly shopped around for a reality television series chronicling their upcoming wedding and early day-to-day marriage life. Their efforts failed however, after the networks decided that they were not entertaining and hence were unmarketable. Their joint dreams of fame were at least temporarily squashed, but Levi had another plan. Only this time, Bristol was not in the mix.

Plan B? Well, it has now been revealed that Johnston, the former nude model, will appear in an R&B music video in which he will play a young man driven away from his love interest by the young woman’s mother. Gee, that sounds rather autobiographical doesn’t it? The actual R&B artist is someone known as Brittani Senser.

This should absolutely send Sarah Palin over the edge. It is clear that the half-term, ex-quitting Governor of Alaska is not pleased that her formerly unmarried pregnant teen daughter will now tie the knot with the child’s uneducated and unemployed father. Sarah Palin is a revenge seeker of the highest order (see, Mike Wooten, David Letterman, Joe McGinniss and Lisa Murkowski) and she will be enraged at the fact that the narrative of the song reflects her own previous treatment of Johnston. Remember when she castigated Johnston on Oprah for pursuing a career in porn? It remains to be seen how Sarah “Plain and Stupid” will exact her revenge at this thinly veiled slight by Johnston.

Will she for instance, boycott the wedding? Will she attend the wedding but forget to bring a gift? Will she plan and pay for the newlyweds’ honeymoon trip maybe to North Korea or Iran? Will she hire a ghostwriter to pen a tell-all tome of Johnston? Better yet, perhaps Sarah will utilize a tete-for-tete strategy by means of appearing in her own music video in which she tells the tale of an impregnating stalker of innocent teens. Johnston must be warned that revenge is a dish best served cold.

In honor of the troops, today’s song parody musically illustrates the intriguing Sarah Palin/Levi Johnston relationship. Remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.

The Ballad Of John And Yoko song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_t3oaPNJieg

THE BALLAD OF SARAH AND LEVI (PART II)

(Sung to the Beatles song “The Ballad of John and Yoko”)

Posing in a condo in New York,
Levi about to remove his pants
He now has a knack
To annoy SarahPAC
Yet most of them will still want to take a glance

Christ you know it ain’t easy,
You know how hard it can be,
To play second fiddle,
To the Caribou-Barbie.

Sarah claims that she is embarrassed
Really, she just envies his fame
Katie Couric did say,
“Can you pray away gay?”
“And can you point out some newspapers by name?”.

Christ you know it ain’t easy,
Those interviews on TV.
Reviews were not glowing
For the brain-dead Sarah P.

Levi’s camped-out in the Hollywood Hilton,
Media folks want him to speak
The newspapers said,
“What’s going on in your head?”
He said that, “soon I will be on MTV”

Christ you know he loves TV,
His part should earn him a fee
And he loves annoying
His mother-in-law to be

Earning every penny for a rainy day,
Tricking Bristol into marrying,
Know what Sarah said?
“Soon he will be dead!”
But then she will be haunted by his ghost – Think!

Maybe she’ll have Levi arrested.
Palin dignity in free-fall.
Young Bristol will claim,
“My mom is to blame,”
“She always has her henchmen on call”

Christ you know she’s so sleazy
She lies so effortlessly
But Levi is going,
To crucify Sarah P.

How did Mac choose Sarah to begin with?
She is just a political hack.
A dumb “hockey mom”,
That can’t think and chew gum.
Why didn’t he select “Joe Sixpack?”

Christ she makes us uneasy.
In Yiddish we say, “Oy Vey.”
We’d love to replace her
With our good friend, Tina Fey.
We’d love to replace her
With our good friend, Tina Fey.

Palin v. G.O.P.:There Will Be No Winner

The “Queen of Quit” has done it again. It is now official, Sarah Palin has quit the Republican Party and joined the Tea-Baggers. For the second time in a month Palin has ignored the Republican Party and endorsed a competing Tea Party candidate. First she endorsed racist Tea-Bagger Rand Paul over the Mitch McConnell endorsed Republican Trey Grayson in the Kentucky Senate primary. Now she has endorsed Tea Party activist Clint Didier over the National Republican Senatorial Committee endorsed Dino Rossi in the Washington Senatorial race.

Palin’s endorsement of Didier came via Twitter, her favorite sophomoric form of communication. On Thursday, Palin “tweeted” that she is “inspired” by Didier and said he is a “patriot running for U.S. Senate to serve his state & our country for all the right reasons!”

This is good news for Democrats. Republicans and Tea-Baggers share many of the same right-wing conservative philosophies. Consequently the newly emergent Tea Party draws virtually all of its members from the Republican Party. The G.O.P. gets smaller and then must publicly battle with Tea-Baggers before even earning the chance to run against the Democratic Party candidate in a general election. The Tea-Bagger or Republican that wins the primary then comes to the general election already dripping with mud. Advantage – Democrat.

This scenario is presently playing out in the Washington state Senatorial race. Didier (Tea Party) has already attacked Rossi (Republican), painting him as  firmly entrenched in the Republican establishment. “If people want more of the same, the McCain or Bush type of governing, then they can support Dino,” Didier said in a statement earlier this month.

All of this my friends, is another glaring example of the “Palin Rule”. Whatever Palin touches, turns to crap!

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Wonderful World (Don’t Know Much) link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jNO72aCnVr0

RIGHT WING WORLD (DON’T KNOW MUCH)

(sung to the Sam Cooke song “Wonderful World”)

Don’t know much about geography
Don’t know much ecology
Don’t know much about that climate change
Don’t know why voters think I am strange

But I do know I love my shoes
And I really love my beehive ‘do
What a right wing world this should be

Don’t have much of an education
I know a lot about procreation
Opposition should have no voice
Pregnant women should have no choice

Yes, I do practice “politics of hate”
And I love to equivocate
What a right wing world this should be

Now I don’t claim that I can see Russia
From my living room bay
And I do not star on “Thirty Rock”, baby
That’s the talented Tina Fey

Don’t know much about interviews
Don’t know many Supreme Court views
Can’t name any books that I’ve read
Sure glad Bristol and Levi aren’t wed

But I do know my time is due
And I’ll be there in 2-0-1-2
What a right wing world this will be

And I do know you’ll love Sarah P.
We’ll be a nation of Scientology
What a right wing world this will be

Sarah Palin Has Dirty Oil On Her Hands But Not On Her Conscience

Silence is golden. If only we could get a little of that from Sarah Palin. You would think that the educationally challenged former ex-quitting Governor of Alaska would realize that in light of the recent Gulf Coast oil rig disaster, now is not the time to extol the benefits of more off-shore oil drilling. Then again, you would also think that an interview blowing, turkey head grinding, “death panel” lying, crib note relying, logic defying, Tea-Bagger buying, spotlight eyeing narcissist would not be capable of maintaining the interest of the “lamestream” media. Ah, but such is apparently not the case.

Last Friday Palin took to her Facebook page to “pipe-in” on the recent disaster while demanding more drilling immediately and without any preliminary study on the feasibility of making the practice more safe not only for the environment but for the men and women that work on those rigs. Remember, eleven people lost their lives as the result of corporate malfeasance. Palin said,

Alaskans understand the tragedy of an oil spill, and we’ve taken steps to do all we can to prevent another Exxon tragedy, but we are still pro-development.
[...]
I repeat the slogan “drill here, drill now” not out of naivete or disregard for the tragic consequences of oil spills – my family and my state and I know firsthand those consequences.

Wait a minute. If she repeats the slogan “drill here, drill now” not out of naivete or disregard, then what is her reasoning? Sarah would you please expound on that a little? We await your incomprehensible response with baited breath.

Oh, yippee! She spoke again on Saturday in Missouri before a bunch of Republicans. Inasmuch as Missouri is the “Show Me” state, we are sure that Ms. Quittypants would feel compelled to show the audience some facts to support what she is talking about, right?

Not so fast. Palin deemed the oil spill to be “very tragic”, but she then told her audience,… ready for this? “I want our country to be able to trust the oil industry”. Trust the oil industry? Perhaps we should trust Halliburton, Blackwater and Goldman Sachs too. Did the Exxon-Valdez disaster in her own backyard not teach the brain-dead corporate lackey a little something about the type of trust that can placed on oil companies?

Sarah Palin is simply as stupid as stupid comes.

EXTRA

Congratulations to the Boston Bruins for their thrilling Game 2 victory over the Philadelphia Flyers last night by a score of 3-2. The Bruins now lead the series 2 games to none with the series shifting to Philadelphia tomorrow for the next two games, ‘Here we go, Bruins, here we go!”

In honor of the troops, please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.

Life In The Fast Lane song link: http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x3sg5y_the-eagles-life-in-the-fast-lane-he_music

PIPE IN THE GASOLINE

(sung to the Eagles song “Life In The Fast Lane”)

Todd was a school dropout man, he was brain dead and then some
And Sarah was not really witty
They both hooked up and thought they looked so handsome
In the heart of Wasilla city
She had a nasty reputation and he was “First Dude”
The Palins were ruthless when it came to crude
They had one thing in common
With old Uncle Jed
She said, “Drill Baby Drill”
Till Mother Nature’s dead

Pipe in the gasoline
Sarah likes to wail and whine
Pipe in the gasoline

Are you with me so far?

The plan needed action, so said the dame
A bigger attraction than old John McCain
She called on Joe The Plumber
But she needed more pull
So she called on Joe Sixpack
Did the lipsticked pitbull
Those pipe-lines on the landscape, could seal her fate
So long as she had her cronies spreading politics of hate
The Palin fan base is not very bright
They are all old, straight and male and all of them are white, don’t doubt it

Pipe in the gasoline
Sarah likes to wail and whine
Pipe in the gasoline
Pipe in the gasoline
Oil revenue is fine
Pipe in the gasoline

(musical interlude)

Drilling and boring, blinded by thirst
She couldn’t handle Gibson
Katie Couric was worse
She said, listen people, don’t you know I’m “mavericky”?
I can see Russia from my house, even Tina Fey agrees
Mac said, call Rush Limbaugh, I think we’re gonna crash
The polls are heading downward and we need some instant cash
They were lookin’ for some leeway
The election was lost
She didn’t care there was oil ‘neath that permafrost, so it was

Pipe in the gasoline
Sarah likes to wail and whine
Pipe in the gasoline
Pipe in the gasoline
Oil revenue is fine
Pipe in the gasoline

Pipe in the gasoline
Pipe in the gasoline

Republicans: Big Banks and Big Fish Stories!

It was refreshing last weekend to see both President Obama and the main stream media publicly call out the Republican Party leadership and the banking industry for jointly trying to defeat the passage of a strict financial institution regulatory law which is aimed at preventing another financial meltdown followed by a taxpayer bailout. Both Obama and CNN‘s Candy Crowley exposed the ugly truth that G.O.P.ers Mitch McConnell and John Cornyn met with two dozen top Wall Street executives last week in an effort to craft a means to defeat any strong financial institution regulation proposed by Democrats.

In his weekly address on Saturday, President Obama said that the strict regulations sought by Democrats,

have not exactly been welcomed by the people who profit from the status quo – as well their allies in Washington. This is probably why the special interests have spent a lot of time and money lobbying to kill or weaken the bill. Just the other day, in fact, the leader of the Senate Republicans and the chair of the Republican Senate campaign committee met with two dozen top Wall Street executives to talk about how to block progress on this issue. Lo and behold, when he returned to Washington, the Senate Republican Leader came out against the common-sense reforms we’ve proposed.

Then on CNN‘s State Of The Union on Sunday, Candy Crowley grilled Mitch McConnell as to whether the meeting took place, what was said during the meeting and if, and why John Cornyn was present. McConnell was forced to admit that the meeting took place and that Cornyn was present. He appeared to contradict himself however, while trying to explain the content of the conversation.

First he said, “Well, we certainly didn’t talk about blocking the bill, I don’t know anybody who’s in favor of blocking this bill.” Then when Crowley followed up by asking what the Wall Street executives asked McConnell and Cornyn, he said, “Well, they have concerns about the bill,” adding that he thought the Senate ought to “go back to the drawing board” and fix the legislation. So, it appears that the G.O.P. gameplan for financial reform mirrors its failed opposition to health care reform: Scratch the whole thing and start over with some new regulation at a later date, preferably after the November 2010 elections. Once again, the Republicans are a “Party Without a Plan”.

Crowley was forced to ask McConnell three times why John Cornyn was present at the meeting before receiving this circuitous answer,

Well, look, we were talking about financial regulation, as everybody in the country is talking about it. Most of the people in New York supported the president, the vast majority of them are on his side. They supported him during the election, they still support him. Is he saying we shouldn’t sit down with his supporters and talk about a bill that he thinks we ought to pass and that I think we ought to pass? This is absurd, he…

Really Mr. McConnell, that is all well and good but why was John Cornyn with you? When Crowley asked the question again, McConnell responded,

Candy, [Obama] is the one who is trying to politicize this issue. We are the ones who are trying to get it right.

When asked a third time, McConnell finally said,

Sen. Cornyn is a United States senator from Texas. He is going to be voting on this issue like all the rest of us are. Simply because we are all involved in politics, as is the president, it doesn’t mean that we can’t discuss issues with people that we meet around the country who are deeply involved and concerned about what we are doing.

Boy Mitch, that really cleared things up. We still don’t understand why Cornyn was there and in the same interview you said that that the bill should be passed and that it should be scratched. What are you talking about? Why don’t you just admit the obvious truth. The Republican Party and the Wall Street bankers are in bed together in a manner that resembles so many other G.O.P. tawdry trysts.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody. Have fun!

God Bless The U.S.A. song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r-9_fDEsv-Q

PROUD TO BE A REPUBLICAN

(sung to the Lee Greenwood song “God Bless The U.S.A.”)

If tomorrow all my brains were gone
And I was just plant life
With a feeding tube shoved in
Against the wishes of my wife
I’d thank my lucky stars the G.O.P. had their way
And curtailed my family’s freedom
Made them watch me waste away

Boy, I’m proud to be a Republican
Like Huckabee and Romney
And I won’t forget Glenn Beck who cried
Right there on Fox TV
Cuz they’ll gladly stand up next to you
And berate your union pay
I just love those hate filled flames they fan
They hate the U.S.A.

Bachmann hates in Minnesota
Alaska has Sarah P.
Rick Perry down in Texas
They’re in the Tea Party
Not Detroit nor in Boston
Too liberal, black and gay
There’s no soul in any Republican heart
And they love it just that way

Yes, I’m proud to be a Republican
Just like Rush and Hannity
And I love the facts they do deny
Right there on Fox TV
And I’ll gladly stand up next to you
And castigate Tina Fey
Cuz I never doubt those Red State men
No matter what they say

Oh, I’m proud to be a Republican
As I sit here sipping tea
Palin’s “death panels” can’t be denied
They say on Fox TV
Sarah sends a Twitter -  text to you
Six or seven times a day
It’s Republicans that love this land
In our per-ver-ted way!

Run Sarah, Run !!!

Palin - Gump 2012

Sarah Palin is not the type to disappoint. When the former ex-quitting governor of Alaska gave up on her constiuents and walked away from her job last July, we all worried that we would lose our favorite source of entertainment and target of witty criticism. There was no need to worry however, because she announced that her memoir would soon be released and that there would be a nationwide small hamlet book tour. She delivered in true Palin fashion. The book was a non-fact checked, hilariously poorly written work of fiction and the bus tour turned into a secret private jet tour that nonetheless drew a multitude of bloodthirsty shut-ins into the light of day for all to marvel at. A freak show if you will.

In addition to the book, she also informed the world that her plans were to embark as a featured speaker on the lecture circuit. As a warm-up for this new vocation, she flew off to Hong Kong so as to address a group of investors. The reviews were not kind. Consequently, the demand for her services dwindled to the point where she was forced to accept gigs at such spectacular forums as the Bowling Convention and the Wine and Alcohol Wholesalers’ Convention. imagine the fun we will have when the transcripts of those speeches become public?

She then accepted a position as a guest host on the Fox News network. She promptly began to appear on such shows as Hannity, The O’Reilly Factor and The Glenn Beck Show. Needless to say, she fit right in with the Fox menagerie. She was at ease in the comfortable environment of friends and candidly answered such hard hitting questions as, “What is your favorite color?” and “Does it snow a lot up where you live?”. We are sure to have much more fun as she appears regularly on these programs.

Finally, this weekend she was the keynote speaker at the first Tea-Bagging Convention in Nashville. Of course other than Terrible Tom Tancredo, she was just about the only speaker at the event as the result of multiple cancellations. But Sarah Palin came through in spades. During the convention she taped a segment with Fox News in which she announced that she would consider a run for president in 2012 if the situation was right for her family and the nation. Our prayers have almost been answered. CNN reports that she said she would run,

…if I believed that that is the right thing to do for our country and for the Palin family. I think that it would be absurd to not consider what it is that I can potentially do to help our country. I won’t close the door that perhaps could be open for me in the future.

Just imagine all the side splitting laughs we will enjoy as she spars with the likes of Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich and Tim Pawlenty in Republican primary debates. “Please give me a moment Mr. Romney as a I consult the crib notes on my hand”! “Mr. Gingrich, do you mind if I call you ‘Cute Newt’”? The possibilities are endless. Of course she will also be required to appear on serious Sunday morning news programs such as Face The Nation and Meet The Press. We will all enjoy looking at the puzzled visages of the hosts as she tosses up one of her signature word salads. Not to mention, a long presidential run will also afford Levi Johnston the opportunity to have a book tour of his own as well as the chance to appear on even more gossip minded television shows.

RUN SARAH, RUN !!!

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Y-M-C-A song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CS9OO0S5w2k

2-0-1-2

(sung to the Village People song “Y-M-C-A”)

Sarah, there’s no need to feel down
I said, Sarah, just because you’re a clown
I said, Sarah, a smile isn’t a frown
There’s no need to be unhappy.

Sarah, you lost a race with McCain
I said, Sarah, you flushed him right down the drain
And you messed up all of your interviews
But you’re still on the nightly news

We’ll all laugh at you in 2-0-1-2
We’ll all laugh at you in 2-0-1-2

We’ll have such a good time when you fall on your face,
And we’ll revel in your disgrace…

We’ll all laugh at you in 2-0-1-2
We’ll all laugh at you in 2-0-1-2

You will have SarahPac, and a new running mate
To help spread Politics of Hate…

Sarah, are you listening to me?
I said, Sarah, you’ll have to go on TV
I said, Sarah, I’m sure we’ll laugh till we pee
And you’ve got to know this one thing!

You make a big ass of yourself
Every time that you open your mouth
You give ammo, to our friend Tina Fey
She just repeats the things you say…

We’ll all laugh at you in 2-0-1-2
We’ll all laugh at you in 2-0-1-2

You’ll get all of the votes from the states that are red
But, the G.O.P. is now dead…

We’ll all laugh at you in 2-0-1-2
We’ll all laugh at you in 2-0-1-2

You can wink and then blink, and twit everyone,
But, you’ll need a fork cuz you’re done…

Sarah, you’ll have a case of the blues
I said, Sarah, has no grasp of world views
But that’s OK, cuz she amuses us,
As we throw her under the bus…

That’s when she will realize that,
Her future, is modeling for “Arctic Cat”
Maybe she’ll host a reality show
If they pay her with enough dough.

We’ll all laugh at her in 2-0-1-2
We’ll all laugh at her in 2-0-1-2

She can wink and then blink, and twit everyone,
But, she’ll need a fork cuz she’s done…

2-0-1-2
We’ll all laugh at her in 2-0-1-2
Sarah, Sarah you’ll wear a big frown
Sarah, Sarah to us you are a clown

2-0-1-2
We’ll all laugh at her in 2-0-1-2
Sarah, Sarah you’ll have a case of the blues
Sarah, Sarah I said, why don’t you just go vamoos.
2-0-1-2

Walking In A Palin Wonderland

The Twelve (OK, Seventeen) Days of Christmas Song Parodies continues…

We have two short but noteworthy comments to make today. The first is that the Republican Party has once again sunk to the deepest of Hell’s depths on this Holy week. Prior to the Senate’s vote on Monday to advance its version of the health care reform bill, Oklahoma’s Republican Senator (and gynecologist) Tom Coburn asked the American people to pray that someone would die. Here are his exact words,

What the American people ought to pray is that somebody can’t make the vote tonight. That’s what they ought to pray

This type of hypocricy is typical for the Republicans. Here they are calling themselves the “pro-life” party while at the same time asking people to request that God kill somebody merely to prevent them from casting a vote in the Senate. The comment is particularly damning of Coburn, who as a physician, has taken a solemn oath to preserve lives. If God were to pay any attention to that monster, not only would at least one Senator lose his life but so would many of those presently uninsured sick persons who’s lives will be saved by health care reform. Merry Christmas to you too, Mr. Coburn.

Our second item of interest involves our favorite blog subject, Sarah Palin. The former ex-quitting governor of Alaska wrote in her ghostwritten memoir, Going Rogue:

In that first year, I was alerted to threats against Willow by students at her Juneau school, one particularly disturbing. Someone posted a note on an Internet site threatening to gang-rape her at school. I never felt safe for her after that. Later, the same thing happened to Bristol.

That was obviously an indefensible act of violence proposed against two of the governor’s daughters. Palin had every reason to fear for her daughters’ safety and to remove them from their schools if she found the threats to be credible. She also had an obligation to report the threats to the school administration and to local law enforcement agencies, if not to protect her own daughters, then to protect and warn the other students that remained in those schools. Problem is however, it does not appear that Sarah Palin reported the threats to anyone.

The JuneauEmpire.com reports that former Juneau School District Superintendent Peggy Cowan was superintendent during the period in question and said she never heard of such concerns. They also report that Juneau Police Chief Greg Browning similarly said his department has no record of ever being alerted to such threats. Finally, it was also reported that  the Alaska State Troopers provide a security detail for Palin, but trooper spokeswoman Megan Peters said the first they heard about the allegation was from Palin’s book.

This raises the question, just what in the wide, wide world of sports is going on here? Did these threatened gang rapes ever really happen? If so, why did Palin fail to report such a serious situation to any of the proper authorities? If she failed to report the threats in an attempt to protect her daughters’ privacy, then why did she reveal the whole situation in her best selling book? Can anything that Sarah Palin says be believed?

Lastly, as any and all of you self-respecting Seinfeld fans out there already know, today is the holiday of FESTIVUS. You know, “Festivus for the rest of us”. So, without further adieu, Lynnrockets’ Blast-Off would like to wish all of you fellow Rockateers a Merry Festivus!

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s holiday song parody.

Winter Wonderland song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ngcAuqshkqE

PALIN BLUNDERLAND

(sung to the Ray Conniff Singers version of “Winter Wonderland”)

Sarah P., are you listening?
Or are you at a Christening?
You are quite a sight
Your hair’s wrapped too tight
Living in a Palin blunderland

Quit your job on July third
You belong where you’re not heard
Go back to Hong Kong
Please take Todd along
Living in a Palin blunderland

You can even bring that “Plumber Joe”, man
He can fly the jet as you leave town

He’ll say, “You still married?”
You’ll say, “No, man!”
But you can have the job
When we touch ground

Later on, you’ll conspire,
To get Tina Fey fired
The price that you paid
To be renegade
Living in a Palin blunderland

Sarah P., are you listening?
Or are you at a Christening?
You are quite a sight
Your hair’s wrapped too tight
Living in a Palin blunderland

You have all the warmth of a fresh snowman
And all the smarts of a circus clown
You sold a book and made a lot of dough, man
It had no verbs but had a lot of nouns

You just love oil well drilling
And your polar bear killing
You frolic and play, the G.O.P. way
Living in a Palin blunderland

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