Sarah Palin Is A Flip-Flopping Idiot

We all agree that Sarah Palin is an idiot. Did you know however, that she is a flip-flopping idiot? The first clue to her self reversals was during her failed vice presidential campaign when she claimed that she said, “thanks, but no thanks” to that Alaskan bridge to nowhere. Of course, we all learned thereafter that she was in fact, in favor of the bridge to nowhere.

Well folks, the Alaska Disaster has done it again. We have now learned that during her press coverage–free speech in Hong Kong this week she said this of the cause of the global economic meltdown,

“We got into this mess because of government interference in the first place,” the former Republican U.S. vice presidential candidate said Wednesday at a conference sponsored by investment firm CLSA Asia-Pacific Markets. “We’re not interested in government fixes, we’re interested in freedom,”

Palin made it perfectly clear that she does not believe the government can help “fix” the problem. She is a strict capitalist that believes only the “freedom” of the marketplace can alleviate  economic ills.

So then, how does Palin explain what she told Katie Couric during her disastrous interview one year ago today, which was,

“Ultimately, what the bailout does is help those who are concerned about the health care reform that is needed to help shore up the economy- Helping the — Oh, it’s got to be about job creation too. Shoring up our economy and putting it back on the right track. So health care reform and reducing taxes and reining in spending has got to accompany tax reductions and tax relief for Americans.”

Now putting aside for the moment the fact that the last quotation is mostly incomprehensible gibberish-like Palin-speak, let’s try to figure out what she said. OK, the first sentence is completely stupid in that she says that what the bailout does is help those who are concerned about the health care reform that is needed to help shore up the economy. WTF? The bailout helps those who are concerned about health care reform?

Moving right along however, she then says that the government bailout will shore up the economy and put it on the right track. So, in Palin’s world government fixes (i.e. bailout) shore up the economy and put it on the right track, but we’re not interested in government fixes. This Palin moron is a walking, talking, living contradiction.

In honor of the troops, please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the song parody.

Flipper theme song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IcA-ChaGdYw

SARAH

(sung to the TV theme of “Flipper”)

They call her Sarah, Sarah, her beehive is frightening,
No one could be, as clueless as she,
And we know Sarah, lost an election that stunned her,
Interview blunders, on the T.V.!

“Ya Betcha” we saw, how vapid was she,
Yet she saw herself, as darn “Mavericky”,
She talked of a bridge, off to nowhere,
Referred to herself as a tough “Mama Bear”!

They call her Sarah, Sarah, in need of enlightening,
No one you see, was impressed with she,
And we know Sarah, lacked strong college education,
Unwed procreation, was more up her tree!

Tom Delay Is The Dancin’ Fool

Now admit it, you knew that Lynnrockets’ Blast-Off would not fail to comment on former Republican House Majority Leader, Tom Delay’s performance on television’s Dancing With The Stars. As we have said so many times in the past, sometimes you just can’t make this stuff up. Nevertheless, this embarresingly ridiculous excuse for a dance was more than we could ever have prayed for. Tom Delay has somehow managed to make more of a joke of himself with this appearance than he did upon his 2005 indictment for conspiracy to violate campaign finance laws.

As you will recall, a Texas grand jury indicted DeLay on criminal charges that he had conspired to violate campaign finance laws during that period. DeLay denied the charges and pled not guilty, saying they were politically motivated and the law he was indicted under did not apply until later, but Republican Conference rules forced him to resign temporarily from his position as Majority Leader. Thereafter, In January 2006, under pressure from fellow Republicans, DeLay announced that he would not seek to return to the position. In the months before and after this decision, two of his former aides were convicted in the Jack Abramoff scandal. DeLay ran for re-election in 2006, and won the Republican primary election (this is not surprising in that it is difficult to find a non-criminal politician in Texas) in March 2006, but, citing the possibility of losing the general election, he announced in April 2006 that he would withdraw from the race and resign his seat in Congress. His case has not yet been brought to trial.

Delay’s appearance (despite its comedic value), did not help Dancing With The Stars which had its worst ratings since the show’s first episode. Indeed, the Washington Post reports,

DeLay’s relationship with “Dancing” dates back to that edition — he sent an e-mail blast around America back then, urging people to vote for one of (Jerry) Springer’s dance rivals, country crooner Sara Evans, because she and her GOP-fundraiser husband represented “good American values” while liberal talk-show host Springer represented the “smut” that viewers needed to tell Hollywood, in no uncertain terms, “has no place on television.”

Unfortunately however, Delay’s ability to judge “good American values” was called into question when Evans abruptly quit the show after disclosing that she was seeking a divorce as the result of the fact that her husband committed adultery, was verbally and emotionally abusive, drank excessively and frequently watched pornography in their home. Her husband, Craig Schelske, not surprisingly ran for Congress as a Republican from Oregon’s 5th District in 2002.

But we digress, let’s get back to delay and his dancing. Please do yourselves a favor and watch the video clip below before moving on to the very funny song parody. Notice Delay’s outfit, bum wiggle and otherwise truly effeminate and creepy performance.

Another fun fact from the program was when judge, Bruno Tonioli remarked to DeLay, “You’re crazier than Sarah Palin!” It just does not get any better than this for a political satire blog. the gods must be pleased.

Please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along to the song parody.

Dancin’ Fool song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hp31g990Sno

DANCIN’ FOOL

(sung to the song “Dancin’ Fool”)

Underneath he wears something lacey
I just hope he don’t start to drool
The G.O.P. now thinks that he’s crazy
Tom Delay’s their dancin’ fool

Some might think he’s light in the loafers
But that Tom Delay thinks he’s cool
Gotta love his faux diamond choker
Tom Delay’s  a dancin’ fool

He’ll show us some moves, we’ll be laughin’
The Congress this guy once did rule

(now you’re talkin’)

Can’t tell which way Delay is battin’
Just take a quick glance at
His brown velour pants an’
Presto !
Tom’s a dancin’ fool

(musical break)

He must have lost a dare, man
Dig Tom’s slicked back hair man
He’s no Fred Astaire, man
Fool!

Tom’s no more a man’s man
What’s inside those pants, man?

Presto!
Tom’s a dancin’ fool
Alright,
Tom’s a dancin’ fool, yeah!

Sarah Palin Is In Over Her Head

Sarah Palin trying to answer a question at the Hong Kong Investors' Forum

As you know, Sarah Palin’s speech at the Hong Kong Investors’ Forum on September 23, 2009 was closed to the press. This is quite understandable when one considers that we have no idea if the event sponsors were being serious when they invited her to speak, or if it is some type of wonderful practical joke in which they  burst out in laughter at her inability to converse on the subject of international investment. I am guessing that the latter is the more likely scenario.

By the way, Bloomberg has reported on the speech in part as such,

She started the speech with the Alaskan fishing industry, which I think is a safe topic for her,” said Suyeon An of RCM Asia Pacific Ltd, who left before Palin stopped talking. “She was avoiding the important economic issues. She tried to talk some about Hong Kong in general, but it was nothing specific. It was a very safe speech, boring I have to say.

The Standard reports,

Two US delegates left early, with one saying ”It was awful, we couldn’t stand it any longer”. He declined to be identified.

By this time, Palin must be feeling that she was in way over her head regarding the subject matter she was expected to be conversant in. Can you imagine the thoughts that must have been floating around in that empty skull of hers? Well we can, so please enjoy this autobiographical song parody about Ms. Palin’s Hong Kong speech.

In honor of the troops, please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the song parody.

Over My Head song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=auGszSQo0y4

I’M OVER MY HEAD

(sung to the Fleetwood Mac song “Over My Head”)

They say Hong Kong is paradise
Before going there, I should have thought twice
I’m over my head
But I like the rice

Nothing to say when I take that mike
I’m just a clown and yet they just might, think I’m crazy,
It’s such a plight

My thoughts are like a ferris wheel
They’re spinning all the time
Sometimes I can’t help but feel
That I’m losing all of my mind

Over my head Mmmm …

I hope I don’t just grunt and squeal
Perhaps I better mime
Why did I accept this deal
For a measly couple of dimes

They’ll be staring at my backside
I will be losing all of my pride
I’m over my head
And it don’t feel nice

I’m over my head
And it don’t feel nice

I’m over my head
And it don’t feel nice

Sarah Palin Boob Tube Themes – 27

This is a true Back To The Future moment at Lynnrockets’ Blast-Off. It all started back in March of 2009 with a few Sarah Palin television show theme song parodies posted on the comment pages of various newspapers and accommodating blogs, the most notable of which are The Mudflats and Palingates. As the result of some encouragement from readers, we started this blog and continued to parody television show theme songs. All was going well until we realized that television shows stopped having lyrics to their themes in the 1980’s ( with the notable exception of Two And A Half Men which goes something like this, “Men, men, men, men, manly men, men, men” anyway,  you get it).

As you can imagine, we ran out of quick little television theme songs and had to expand into the world of real songs. This was a more difficult task because real songs are much longer and have a lot more words. Nonetheless, we have tried our best and to date we have been able to post longer song parodies on a daily basis. we must admit however, that we do not know how much longer the creative juices will continue to flow.

In any event, Sarah Palin’s junket to Hong Kong reminded us of a Saturday morning cartoon which aired in the 1970’s at the height of popularity of the martial arts films of Bruce Lee. The subject of the cartoon was a mild mannered janitor that also happened to be a dog as well as the martial arts master and super hero, “Hong Kong Phooey”. Luckily for us, the theme song has lyrics.

In an attempt to familiarize you folks with the tune and to entertain you a little bit, we have provided the opening credits to the actual cartoon below as well as the song parody. This is all a little silly, but we hope you enjoy.

HONG KONG PHOOEY

(sung to the TV theme song of the 1970’s cartoon “Hong Kong Phooey”)

Who is this super zero?  Todd? NO!
Stapleton the SarahPAC spokeswoman? No!
Joe the mild mannered plumber?

Hong Kong Phooey, Sarah Palin’s alibi
Hong Kong Phooey, with a winking, blinking eye

Oh, she’s senile, no sense of style, a mouth that just won’t stop
When the going gets tough, she’s had enough
So she’ll Hong Kong Phooey shop

Hong Kong Phooey, Sarah Palin’s alibi
Hong Kong Phooey, with a winking, blinking eye
Chong chicky chong chicky chong chong chong
Chicky chop chop chop it bow wow wow

Hong Kong Phooey
Vanriffic!

Sarah Palin’s Hong Kong Sing Along

Sarah Palin waves to the First Dude as she leaves for Hong Kong.

There have been no juicy updates this last week as to the details surrounding Sarah Palin’s guest speaking appearance at the CLSA forum in Hong Kong on September 23rd. We have learned however, that the event will be closed to the press. As Keith Olbermann said last night, this is interesting because Palin will be palling around with communists while restricting access to the democratic free press.We still do not know if the event organizers believe that the quitting ex-governor of Alaska actually has something meaningful to offer this group of investors or if her invitation is actually some sort of practical joke. The safe money however, is on the latter.

Please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody also, too.

Leaving On A Jet Plane song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f4hsC0nRvZM

LEAVING ON A JET PLANE

(sung to the John Denver song “Leaving On A Jet Plane”)

All her bags are packed, she’ll “go with the flow”
Dressed like a flight attendant ‘ho
To save some dough Palin will fly stand-by
The “First Dude” must stay home, he’s so forlorn
Stapleton’s waiting, she’s blowing her horn
There’s so much stuff in Hong Kong she will buy

She’s bitchy yet smiles with glee
Giddy that they’ll pay her fee
She’s more famous now than Plumber Joe
She’s leavin’ on a jet plane
We hope that she won’t come back again
We love to see her go

At Kai Tak Airport her plane sets down
Nobody greets her with a crown
Don’t those Asians even know a thing?
She hopes that her room has a nice view
She hopes that she can see Russia too
Damn, she forgot that present for their king

She’s bitchy yet smiles with glee
Giddy that they’ll pay her fee
She’s more famous now than Plumber Joe
She’s leavin’ on a jet plane
We hope that she won’t come back again
We love to see her go

Now the time has come, her debut
They will learn, she has no clue
Averted eyes hope she fades away
They didn’t know she was dumb
Now they want her to just go home
Boarding that jet plane without delay

She’s bitchy yet smiles with glee
Happy that they paid her fee
Thinking of the ways she’ll spend her dough
She’s leavin’ on a jet plane
That Hong Kong trip was such a pain
She should have just said “no”

She’s leavin’ on a jet plane
That Hong Kong trip was such a pain
Why not pull a “no-show”?

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 10

BREAKING NEWS:  Orly Taitz, the dentist, real estate agent and attorney has had another of her “birther” lawsuits dismissed. Judge Clay Land of the U.S. District Court for the Middle District of Georgia has dismissed Connie Rhodes vs. Thomas D. Macdonald which sought to prove that President Barack Obama is not a natural born American citizen. Additionally, the court deemed the case to be frivolous and threatened Taitz with sanctions should she commence another such action in his court. Let’s hear it for the judge.

THIS JUST IN:  Fox News has embarrassed itself once again. This week the Republican voicebox network took out newspaper ads the subject of which was last week’s crazy Tea-Bagger march in Washington D.C. The ads stated, “How did, ABC, CBS, NBC, MSNBC, and CNN miss this story?” Problem is, nobody missed it. All of the major networks covered the event. Fox News simply cannot be trusted to tell the truth. Now Fox, go wash your mouth out with soap.

BREAKING NEWS:  Rush Limbaugh has just jumped back aboard the racism bus. In fact, he now claims that America should go back to racially segregated buses. Speaking about an incident last week in which a white boy was beaten by black boys while on a bus Limbaugh said, “I think the guy’s wrong.  I think not only it was racism, it was justifiable racism. I mean, that’s the lesson we’re being taught here today. Kid shouldn’t have been on the bus anyway. We need segregated buses — it was invading space and stuff. This is Obama’s America.” Do I see an advertiser boycott coming?

THIS JUST IN:  Tammy Bruce was on The O’Reilly Factor last week and said, “But ultimately, it comes down to his inability to govern, and the fact that he seems to have, it seems to me, some malevolence toward this country, which is unabated.” Honestly, Where does Fox find these morons?

BREAKING NEWS:  A Kentucky high school football coach used a school bus to transport 9 of his players to his Baptist Church to be baptized without seeking consent of their parents. The school district took no action because it insisted the trip was voluntary. Now, there is a case of separation of church and state for you. I wonder what that particular school district’s position was concerning Barack Obama’s speech to school children last week?

THIS JUST IN:  A panel of three federal appellate judges, all Republican appointees, has ruled that U.S. citizens who were held without charge during post-9/11 terror investigations can sue then-Attorney General John Ascroft for unlawful imprisonment. The Court ruled that Ashcroft violated the right s of citizens held on material-witness warrants when the government lacked probable cause to arrest them. The Court sai the detention policy was, “repugnant to the Constitution.” Will Fox News‘ Sean Hannity and Glenn Beck report about and condemn these actual U.S. internment camps or will they continue to simply fabricate a rumor that Obama wants internment camps?

BREAKING NEWS:  CNN reports, ” Former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee won the Values Voter Summit’s 2012 presidential straw poll Saturday, grabbing nearly 29 percent of the vote in a crowded field.Former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney, Minnesota Gov. Tim Pawlenty, former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin and Indiana Rep. Mike Pence each won roughly 12 percent of the 597 votes cast.” See the rest of the story, here. Poor Sarah Palin.

THIS JUST IN: The $ 63,500.00 question is, “Who is this Cathy Maples of Huntsville, Alabama, the high bidder in the Have Lunch With Sarah Palin auction on Ebay?” Enquiring minds want to know.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along to this Sarah Palin song parody also, too.

Wouldn’t It Be Nice song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L–cqAI3IUI

WOULDN’T IT BE NICE

(sung to the Beach Boys song “Wouldn’t It Be Nice”)

Wouldn’t it be nice if Sarah Palin
Represents the brand new G.O.P.
And wouldn’t it be nice if daughter Bristol
Becomes the face of teen abstinency

You know that truth can be stranger than fiction
But this grabs me just like a drug addiction

Wouldn’t it be nice if Sarah Palin
Is the Red State candidate anew
The Democrats will win the next election
Then to Sarah, we can bid adieu

And though she’ll feel that life is such a bummer
She can spend her time with Joe the Plumber
Wouldn’t it be nice

Maybe if we think and wish and hope and pray it might come true
Sarah then could find a periodical to subscribe to
She could be learning
Instead of book burning

Wouldn’t it be nice

(bah ba ba ba ba ba bah)
(bah ba ba ba ba ba bah)

You know the more it seems we sing about it
It only makes it worse to live without it
So let’s sing about it
Wouldn’t it be nice

(bah ba ba ba ba ba bah)
(bah ba ba ba ba ba bah)
(bah ba ba ba ba ba bah)
(bah ba ba ba ba ba bah)
(fading)

Sarah Palin, The Hong Kong Ding Dong

The reason Sarah Palin's speech in Hong Kong will be closed to the press.

It is being widely reported that Sarah Palin’s speech at the CLSA forum in Hong Kong on September 23rd will be closed to the public and the press. We can understand why this is the case in that the event organizers certainly want to keep the laughs in-house as further enticement to join their investors’ group and to sell more tickets. Let’s face it, even Carrottop’s comedy show is available only to ticket purchasers.

Not to worry though. We here at Lynnrockets’ Blast-Off have been provided a leaked copy of Palin’s speech. Well, actually we were told that it could be found in the comment section of  ThinkProgress (here is the link at #57). in any event here is the alleged text of her speech:

From the Kitchen Office of The Governor of the Republic Of Alaska

Well hiya, Honk Ong.

Ya know, I always wondered where Sushi came from, and now I know. Hey congratulations on gaining your freedom from those Commies in 1999.

As a foremost expert on Energies and such I asked my son Trig if I should accept your offer to speak here tonight and he said hell-yeah!
Ya know the only thing more precious than a child, is a vision of an economic that ensures the greatness of achievements so the taxpayers freedoms remain free, like our founding fathers did before our childrens future, which is what I’m fighting for but the media won’t let me because they keep making things up also and I wish they’d just quit it ya know?
Because Governing Alaska is just a leetle bit more qualifying than organizing black kids, you betcha, so that’s why I’m not quitting because basketball moms know the difference between helicopter wolf-hunting and clothes-shopping and when you read all the newspapers like I do you have to ask yourself the hard questions and get things done while protecting your shores because, as a mother, I have a fridge magnet that inspires me every day to keep going and keep fighting for things that are need to be done so that our kids can’t be indoctrinated by the nay-sayers who aren’t real Americans from which we can learn politics as usual isn’t what I’m all about and we should all ask ourselves, in what context? Also.

Thank You.

If this proves not to be the actual speech, don’t worry. In this day and age of cell phones, digital recording devices, etc., we are sure that the word salad will leak out. until then, please enjoy today’s song parody which seems quite appropriate. remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along.

Maxwell’s Silver Hammer song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HzsL99OO8_s

SARAH’S SILLY GRAMMAR

(sung to the The Beatles song “Maxwell’s Silver Hammer”)

Palin castigates and she miscommunicates
Speaking words unknown
She repeats and drones in a grating tone
Oh, oh, oh

She needs medicine, we’re in need of Excedrin
When she whines and moans
She knows fewer words than ol’ Fred Flinstone
Oh, oh, oh

She’s not as bright as that Plumber, Joe
And dresses like a whore

Slang!, slang!, Sarah’s silly grammar
That spews from out her head
Slang!, slang!, Sarah’s silly grammar
Her language we all dread

Safety schools back then, Sarah had no acumen
Could not stay employed
Wishing to avoid an unpleasant scene
Ee, ee, een

She can’t help but pray for luck each election day
Though she should resign
Working with a mind that is oh, so slow
Oh, oh, oh

She only aggravates and annoys
And gets in ethics binds

Slang!, slang!, Sarah’s silly grammar
That spews from out her head
Slang!, slang!, Sarah’s silly grammar
Her language we all dread

By age forty-one, Palin was a dirty one
Sitting on her throne
Giving state jobs to all her friends from home
Oh, oh, oh

Quacking like a mallard while tossing a word salad
Sarah gives a speech
The words are just out of reach, it’s darn sloppy prose
Oh, oh, oh

And as the words are leaving her lips
She gets much more tongue tied

Slang!, slang!, Sarah’s silly grammar
That spews from out her head
Slang!, slang!, Sarah’s silly grammar
Her language we all dread

Silly grammar gal

Little (Republican) Women

Need we say any more?

Those of us here at Lynnrockets’ Blast-Off do not want to appear sexist, but honestly folks, have you ever considered the absurdity of Republican women? They are a group that seems to have, as Glenn Beck would say, ” a deep seated hatred of women.” They voluntarily joined a political party that is against equal pay for women in the workplace. They also would like to deny women free choice in matters involving pregnancy. We understand that many women oppose abortion, but having the ability to choose the procedure would not force any woman to choose abortion. She could just as easily choose to have the child. You see, that is the choice they would have. They could choose what medical procedure they deemed best for themselves. But no, Republican women believe that women are incapable of making an informed decision in their own best interest. Best leave those decisions to the government that they so allegedly despise.

Is it any wonder then that in an attempt to find a leader of their own gender, these Republican women have chosen Sarah Palin? Has there ever been a woman that more vocally railed against women’s rights than she? From advocating against gender equal pay to charging victims for police rape kits, Palin has demonstrated time and again that she believes women do not have the right to equality or the ability to perform at the same level as men. Perhaps that is the reason why she needed Todd “First Dude” Palin to run the Governor’s Office for her during the short time that she occupied it.

Let’s also consider Minnesota Congresswoman Michele Bachmann and Ohio Congresswoman Jean Schmidt. Bachmann is an absolute nut job that lacks any outward appearance of intelligence, but let’s let her tell us a little bit about herself in her own words,

“I look at the Scripture and I read it and I take it for what it is. I give more credence in the Scripture as being kind of a timeless word of God to mankind, and I take it for what it is. And I don’t think I give as much credence to my own mind, because I see myself as being very limited and very flawed, and lacking in knowledge, and wisdom and understanding. So, I just take the Bible for what it is, I guess, and recognize that I am not a scientist, not trained to be a scientist. I’m not a deep thinker on all of this. I wish I was. I wish I was more knowledgeable, but I’m not a scientist.” – Michele Bachmann interviewing with Todd Fiel at KKMS as quoted in the Stillwater Gazette, September 29, 2003.

Now let’s consider Jean Schmidt. In fact let’s look at a few of her quotes to see if we can find some intelligent thought,

“I pledge to … refrain from name-calling or the questioning of character, … Harsh words often lead to headlines, but walking this path is not a victimless crime. This great House pays the price.”

Followed by,

“He asked me to send Congress a message: Stay the course, … He also asked me to send Congressman Murtha a message: that cowards cut and run, marines never do.”

Followed by,

“There’s no way that I remotely tried to impugn his character.”

Nope. No sign of intelligent life there.

American Woman song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=leSdvfYcDw0

REPUBLICAN WOMEN

(sung to the Guess Who song “American Woman”)

Republican women they’ve all lost their minds
Republican women, they’ve really lost their minds
Republican women they’ve all lost their minds
Republican women they’ve all lost their minds

Say “R”, say “E”, say “P”
Say “L”, say “I”, say “C”
Say “A” “N”

Republican women they’ve all lost their minds
Republican women they’ve all lost their minds
Republican women they’ve all lost their minds

Republican women, stay away from me
Republican women, from the G.O.P.
You are someone I’ll just ignore
I don’t wanna see your face no more
I got more important things to do
And I will never be sold on you

Now women, I said stay away

Republican women, listen what I say

Republican women, have no dignity
Republican women, and their tea-parties
Like I told you the time before
Michele Bachmann is just a bore
Mann Coulter I do despise
Malkin has a lazy eye
Now women, I said get away
Republican women, listen what I say

Republican women, it’s clear as day
Republican women, they’re no Tina Fey
Talk about defending our shores
Their husbands prefer time with whores
Jean Schmidt always makes a scene
Sarah Palin thinks she’s queen
Mary Matalin’s hypnotized
Ingraham’s mouth is super-sized
Now women, from the G.O.P.
Republican women, mama let me be

Go, gotta get away, gotta get away
Now go go go
Gonna leave you, women
Gonna leave you, women
Bye-bye
Bye-bye
Bye-bye
Bye-bye
You’re no good for me
I’m no good for you
Gonna look you right in the eye.
Tell you what I’m gonna do
You know I’m gonna leave
You know I’m gonna go
You know I’m gonna leave
You know I’m gonna go, women
I’m gonna leave, women
Goodbye, Republican women

Sarah Palin Gets Bush-Whacked

Bush's fist greets Palin's face.

Is there anything more enjoyable to watch than Republicans eating their own? The Angry Party is now angry with itself. Matt Latimer’s soon to be released book, Speech-Less: Tales of a White House Survivor will have passages excerpted in the next issue of GQ Magazine and they are spicy hot. In the book, former worst president in history, George W. Bush takes a few not so subtle jabs at former worst governor in history and former worst vice presidential nominee in history, Sarah Palin.

When he was informed that John McCain had chosen Palin as his running mate, the book states that Bush reacted as follows:

“I’m trying to remember if I’ve met her before. I’m sure I must have.” His eyes twinkled, then he asked, “What is she, the governor of Guam?”

Everyone in the room seemed to look at him in horror, their mouths agape. When Ed told him that conservatives were greeting the choice enthusiastically, he replied, “Look, I’m a team player, I’m on board.” He thought about it for a minute. “She’s interesting,” he said again. “You know, just wait a few days until the bloom is off the rose.” Then he made a very smart assessment.

“This woman is being put into a position she is not even remotely prepared for,” he said. “She hasn’t spent one day on the national level. Neither has her family. Let’s wait and see how she looks five days out.” It was a rare dose of reality in a White House that liked to believe every decision was great, every Republican was a genius, and McCain was the hope of the world because, well, because he chose to be a member of our party.

Ouch! That’s gonna leave a mark. What will Little Miss Thin Skin do next? I can hear her now, “In honor of the troops, I must now give a shout out to my former Commander in Chief and inform him that he will soon sleep with the fishes and go with the flow also, too.”

As we have said so many times before, sometimes you just can’t make this stuff up. Today’s song parody will expound upon the last Republican two term president’s assertion that Palin is not “remotely prepared for” politics on a national level.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.

Say Goodbye To Hollywood song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VEoDLUJr8J8&feature=related

SAY GOODBYE TO WASHINGTON

(sung to the Billy Joel song “Say Goodbye To Hollywood”)

Sarah’s driving through Wasilla tonight
With her sights
On a hot new cowboy bar
She joins her lover who came on snow machine
Found her ring somewhere out in their backyard

Say goodbye to Washington
Say goodbye old lady
Say goodbye to Washington
Say goodbye old lady

Toddy’s taking care of things for awhile
That’s his style to act like he’s governor
Sarah’s going off to Hong Kong on a tour
Cuz she can’t get a gig here anymore

Say goodbye to Washington
Say goodbye old lady
Say goodbye to Washington
Say goodbye old lady

Movin’ on is a chance she’ll take for two dimes
That she can rub – together
Whoa oh oh oh
Palin spoke out of line
And George Bush now says her future is gone
Forever
Forever

So now she faces an outsider‘s dull life
And she’ll grasp
For attention now and then
Life is a series of hellos and goodbyes
I’m afraid it’s time for goodbye again

Say goodbye to Washington
Say goodbye old lady
Say goodbye to Washington
Say goodbye old lady

She’s out of the big dance and for good this time
It’s sure to be – forever
Whoa oh oh oh
She used her last life-line
Now she’ll find that the friends she had are gone
Forever
Forever

There’ll be no traces of her once famous life
They won’t last
They are all long gone again
Life is a series of hellos and goodbyes
I’m afraid it’s time for goodbye again

Say goodbye to Washington
Say goodbye old lady
Say goodbye to Washington
Say goodbye old lady

Republican Party Games

Did you ever wonder what it must feel like to admit that you are a Republican these days? How it must feel to say that you are not only in the same party but also subscribe to the same political policies as some of the craziest wingnuts ever to group together under one banner? Can you imagine trying to say with a straight face that you voted for any of the criminal Banana Republicans shown above or the philandering perverted Republicans such as:

Ronald Reagan, Newt Gingrich, John McCain, David Vitter, Mark Foley, Larry Craig, Rudolph Giuliani, Ted Haggard, Bob Allen, Glenn Murphy, Jr., John Ensign, Sarah Palin (maybe), Mark Sanford, Paul Stanley and Mike Duvall.

We here at Lynnrockets’ Blast-Off believe that it would make you want to cry. That my friends, leads us right into today’s song parody. Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.

It’s My Party song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WRbsz1Ha7Zo

IT’S OUR REPUBLICAN PARTY

(sung to the Lesley Gore song “It’s My Party”)

It’s our party, and we’ll cry if we want to
Lie if we want to, die if we want to
You would cry too if you had who we do

Nobody knows where Mitt Romney has gone
Delay had to resign
McCain was one we can’t stand
The rest just wallow in slime

It’s our party, and we’ll cry if we want to
Lie if we want to, die if we want to
You would cry too if you had who we do

Naughty Mark Sanford’s romancin’ tonight
Michele Bachmann’s spewin’ bile
We don’t like Mike Huckabee
Cheney will soon be on trial

It’s our party, and we’ll cry if we want to
Lie if we want to, die if we want to
You would cry too if you had who we do

(musical interlude)

Aw, Sarah Palin behaves just like a whore
She’s a mean ding-a-ling
Jindal should open his eyes
He’ll never be our king

It’s our party, and we’ll cry if we want to
Lie if we want to, die if we want to
You would cry too if you had who we do

Oh, It’s our party, and we’ll cry if we want to
Lie if we want to, die if we want to
You would cry too if you had who we do

Oh, It’s our party, and we’ll cry if we want to
Lie if we want to, die if we want to