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Sarah Palin: The Devil In Disguise

PalinDevil

Sarah Palin's official portrait at Alaska's Governors Mansion

Sarah Palin, the scheduling-challenged diva, has propelled herself into another speaking engagement controversy. This time it is with the conservative group known as The Iowa Family Policy Center. You may recall a few weeks ago when the Palin camp referred to this group as one of the future beneficiaries of the ex former-quitting governor’s speaking prowess. Well, as usual, not so fast. Once again a disagreement between the event organizers and the Palin crew has cast a dark shadow over the event such that Miss Quittypants may pull another no-show.

The Politico reports that, “The Iowa Family Policy Center’s effort to cobble together $100,000 for Palin would represent a striking departure from customary practice in the first-in-the-nation state, these Republicans say, noting that a generation of White House hopefuls has paid their own way to boost their party and presidential ambitions.” Other conservative groups are also unnerved at the prospect of paying a potential future candidate for something that should be considered a privilege. the Politico quotes the following:

“If somebody tells me they want me to pay an appearance fee, it tells me they’re not very serious about running for president,” said Ed Failor, Jr., president of Iowans for Tax Relief and an influential GOP insider.

Also, Steve Scheffler, the president of the Iowa Christian Alliance and a longtime GOP activist, said his organization would also never ante up. We certainly wouldn’t do it, even if we had the money,” Scheffler said, adding that he wanted to keep his group “impartial” in the caucus process and that paying money to one prospective candidate could raise questions about such neutrality.

The brouhaha appears to have caused some backtracking and/or revisionist history with both the sponsoring group and the Palin camp. It has been reported that at the request of the Iowa Family Policy Center, Team Sarah, a national pro-Palin organization not formally connected to the former governor, has begun raising money among its members in an effort to collect the $100,000. However, when an officer of The Iowa Family Policy Center was asked about the fee controversy, he said that he was, “not personally aware of a speaker’s fee” and “There may or may not be, I don’t know.”

Next, Palin spokeswoman, Meg Stapleton told Newsweek:

that Palin “has not requested anything” and that she “does not charge people to campaign for them.” According to Stapleton, Palin would instead cover such travel costs through her political-action committee, SarahPAC.

Not unexpectedly however, the Palin bunch then called the whole appearence into question by saying,

We don’t believe she will be able to attend with her tightly scheduled book tour, and the group has been told that through formal and informal channels.

What is with this bunch of clowns and their inability to do anything on the straight and narrow. It is a sure bet that anytime a Palin engagement is announced, there will be some sort of snafu that emerges which calls the event into question. Sarah Palin simply could not schedule a beauty parlor appointment without complications. She and her camp are scatterbrained dimwits of the first degree.

Some might say that she is a “little devil.”

In honor of the troops, please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with this Halloween inspired song parody.

Devil In Her Heart song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FeiuCcBx2zg

DEVIL IN HER HEART

(sung to the Beatles song “Devil In Her Heart”)

She’s got the devil in her heart
But the rednecks fantasize
That Palin is a sleazy tart
But her politics just chill me

Her smirking glances
Vocal dances
She’s an ignorant pig
She’s just so flirty
Politics dirty
She’s a wicked entity

She’s got the devil in her heart
And some tricks are up her sleeve
Palin’s a dime store work of art
A web of lies she will weave

I’ll bet she leaves that Alaskan winter snow
She’ll board a bus to be with Plumber Joe
Palin is quirky
Her future’s murky
Like the G.O.P.’s

She’s got the devil in her heart
I know, know, know Palin will deceive
Next she’ll be working at K-Mart
Cuz today she is naïve

Sarah’s stance is to raise finances
From her writing debut
She’s just as perky
As fresh killed turkey
As we witnessed on TV

She’s got the devil in her heart
I know, know, know  and I do believe
She fell right off the donkey cart
Sarah should be on sick leave

She’s got the devil in her heart
And she’s no angel we can see
She’s got the devil in her heart
No, she’s no angel we can see

Sarah Palin Believes That “Rogue” Is In Vogue

The publisher astutely rejected this early version of Palin's memoir.

The publisher astutely rejected this early version of Palin's memoir.

We all know of Sarah Palin’s lucrative book deal with HarperCollins (owned, not surprisingly by Rupert Murdoch) in which she will counter all those nasty rumors circulated by the “Gotcha Media.” We have also, too, just learned that the release date for the tome has been moved up from Spring 2010 to November 17, 2009. She needs the money sooner because her handler, Meg Stapleton screwed up the negotiations for last week’s Hong Kong speaking debut by inadvertently agreeing that Palin would be compensated in Chinese Renminbis rather than U.S. Dollars.

Nonetheless, Sarah “Word Salad” Palin will finally get the opportunity to put that journalism degree to work. When you consider her memorable interviews with Couric and Gibson, however, we can understand why she required the assistance of a (hopefully, literate) ghostwriter. Lynnrockets’ Blast-Off predicts that her book will have the shelf life of O.J. Simpson’s “If I Did It.

In honor of the troops, please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the song parody.

Paperback Writer song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pwap79uy1G8

PAPERBACK WRITER

(sung to the Beatles song “Paperback Writer”)

Paperback writer (paperback writer)

Dear Rush and Coulter, will you read my tome?
It took a year to write in my Wasilla home
It’s based on the life of a political hack
And I take a few shots at old Johnny Mac as a paperback writer,
Paperback writer

A book of topics that I want a say on,
Which I wrote with finger-paints and a crayon.
It was edited by Todd the school drop-out,
He can’t read too well but he wants to be a paperback writer
Paperback writer

Paperback writer (paperback writer)

It’s got twenty pages give or take a few,
And it has some pictures that Piper drew.
I threw in an old joke that Bristol once told
It’s a real page turner and I want to be a paperback writer,
Paperback writer

My new book will appeal to those on the right
And everyone that is straight, racist and white.
Bill O’Reilly will love it, please have no fear,
I sure needed a boost and now I can be a paperback writer.
Paperback writer

Paperback writer (paperback writer)

Paperback writer – paperback writer
Paperback writer – paperback writer
(fading)

Sarah Palin Boob Tube Themes – 27

Sarah_television4

This is a true Back To The Future moment at Lynnrockets’ Blast-Off. It all started back in March of 2009 with a few Sarah Palin television show theme song parodies posted on the comment pages of various newspapers and accommodating blogs, the most notable of which are The Mudflats and Palingates. As the result of some encouragement from readers, we started this blog and continued to parody television show theme songs. All was going well until we realized that television shows stopped having lyrics to their themes in the 1980′s ( with the notable exception of Two And A Half Men which goes something like this, “Men, men, men, men, manly men, men, men” anyway,  you get it).

As you can imagine, we ran out of quick little television theme songs and had to expand into the world of real songs. This was a more difficult task because real songs are much longer and have a lot more words. Nonetheless, we have tried our best and to date we have been able to post longer song parodies on a daily basis. we must admit however, that we do not know how much longer the creative juices will continue to flow.

In any event, Sarah Palin’s junket to Hong Kong reminded us of a Saturday morning cartoon which aired in the 1970′s at the height of popularity of the martial arts films of Bruce Lee. The subject of the cartoon was a mild mannered janitor that also happened to be a dog as well as the martial arts master and super hero, “Hong Kong Phooey”. Luckily for us, the theme song has lyrics.

In an attempt to familiarize you folks with the tune and to entertain you a little bit, we have provided the opening credits to the actual cartoon below as well as the song parody. This is all a little silly, but we hope you enjoy.

HONG KONG PHOOEY

(sung to the TV theme song of the 1970’s cartoon “Hong Kong Phooey”)

Who is this super zero?  Todd? NO!
Stapleton the SarahPAC spokeswoman? No!
Joe the mild mannered plumber?

Hong Kong Phooey, Sarah Palin’s alibi
Hong Kong Phooey, with a winking, blinking eye

Oh, she’s senile, no sense of style, a mouth that just won’t stop
When the going gets tough, she’s had enough
So she’ll Hong Kong Phooey shop

Hong Kong Phooey, Sarah Palin’s alibi
Hong Kong Phooey, with a winking, blinking eye
Chong chicky chong chicky chong chong chong
Chicky chop chop chop it bow wow wow

Hong Kong Phooey
Vanriffic!

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