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Sarah Palin And The Other G.O.P. Unemployed Zeroes

republicansGreedy

As Sarah Palin, the ex-former quitting Governor of Alaska, prepares to embark on her nationwide rural hamlet book tour it reminded us here at Lynnrockets’ Blast-Off of all of those other former Republican office holders who now have nothing better to do than offer their warped opinions to whoever (or is it, “whomever”, I’m never quite sure) will listen.

Public enemy number one is Newt Gingrich, the former disgraced and dethroned Speaker of the House. This guy was unceremoniously thrown out of the leadership position by his own party which prompted his resignation in 1998. Nonetheless, if you scan through your television channels any night during primetime, you are likely to see this wife-cheating bag of gas bloviating to some talking head about his vision of the future for the G.O.P. Does he not realize that the words, “Newt Gingrich” and “future” are mutually exclusive?

Next we have former New York City mayor, Rudolph Giuliani. Like the aforementioned Gingrich, this wife-cheating disaster of a Presidential candidate can be found nightly opining on all things political with the Fox News host of his choice. Of course he has nothing of substance to say. Vice President Joe Biden put it best when he said, “There’s only three things he mentions in a sentence — a noun, a verb, and 9/11. There’s nothing else!” That truly sums up Rudy in a nutshell.

How about former Vice President, Dick Cheney? He of the “dithering” remark regarding President Obama’s contemplative and non-knee-jerk method of deciding what course of action to take in Afghanistan. We all know that Cheney’s trigger finger reaction would be to simply go in there with all guns blaring and no real plan. After all, didn’t he use that method when he shot his best friend in the face? We also learned last week that while being questioned by the FBI regarding the Valerie Plame identity leak, Cheney answered questions by saying, “I don’t recall” more than two dozen times. Consequently, should anyone be interested in getting advice from this forgetful old fool. He might consider checking into the Ronald Reagan Memorial Alzheimer’s ward.

Today’s song parody will pay tribute to these and some other unemployed Republicans who will not go away. Please enjoy.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with this great tune and to have more fun singing along to the parody.

Celluloid Heroes song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oh23A2GptAQ&feature=PlayList&p=5AC4C35A0BBF1943&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=32

UNEMPLOYED ZEROES

(sung to the Kinks song “Celluloid Heroes”)

Everyone is a schemer and they are all fading stars
And everyone is so goofy, they all should be feathered and tarred
They’re not far from your own city
A creeping louse is on every street
They have no jobs so they walk the boulevard
Their careers ended in defeat

Just look at Scooter Libby,  George Bush spared him the jail yard
He lied for old Dick Cheney,  now finding work will be real hard
Condoleezza Rice was a princess
While she occupied her throne
But she lied about those weapons
Now no-one will throw her a bone

They ride in their nice cars as they drive down Unemployed Boulevard
Some that you recognize some that you wish you never heard of
People who lied and cheated while striving for fame
First they succeeded but now they suffer in vain

Rudolph Giuliani had a trio of wives
And if not for 9/11, White House dreams could not survive
Former Governor, Caribou Barbie
Was a lip-sticked dog with no bite
The blunders that Palin gave us
Will follow her the rest of her life

Cheney was thrown out like garbage
He shot his friend and he smiled
And then there’s George “Macaca” Allen
You’ve just got to love his style
And please don’t forget dear Larry Craig
With his stylish steel handcuffs
While in a Men’s Room stall he copped a feel
And then Idahoans had had enough

They ride in their nice cars as they drive down that Unemployed Boulevard
Some that you recognize some that you wish you never heard of
People who lied and cheated while striving for fame
First they succeeded but now they suffer in vain

Everyone is a schemer and they are all fading stars
And they all think they’re in show biz, trying to show on radar
And though some were successful
Now they must be on guard
Success walks hand in hand with failure
Along Unemployed Boulevard

Their sordid lives are a non-stop Hollywood tabloid show
A fantasy world of unemployed villains and zeroes
And those unemployed zeroes created so much pain
Those unemployed zeroes took us for a ride

They ride in their nice cars as they drive down that Unemployed Boulevard
Some that you recognize some that you wish you never heard of
People who lied and cheated while striving for fame
First they succeeded but now they suffer in vain

Those unemployed zeroes created so much pain
Those unemployed zeroes took us for a ride

Their sordid lives are a non-stop Hollywood tabloid show
A fantasy world of unemployed villains and zeroes
And those unemployed zeroes created so much pain
Those unemployed zeroes took us for a ride

Republican Party Games

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Did you ever wonder what it must feel like to admit that you are a Republican these days? How it must feel to say that you are not only in the same party but also subscribe to the same political policies as some of the craziest wingnuts ever to group together under one banner? Can you imagine trying to say with a straight face that you voted for any of the criminal Banana Republicans shown above or the philandering perverted Republicans such as:

Ronald Reagan, Newt Gingrich, John McCain, David Vitter, Mark Foley, Larry Craig, Rudolph Giuliani, Ted Haggard, Bob Allen, Glenn Murphy, Jr., John Ensign, Sarah Palin (maybe), Mark Sanford, Paul Stanley and Mike Duvall.

We here at Lynnrockets’ Blast-Off believe that it would make you want to cry. That my friends, leads us right into today’s song parody. Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.

It’s My Party song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WRbsz1Ha7Zo

IT’S OUR REPUBLICAN PARTY

(sung to the Lesley Gore song “It’s My Party”)

It’s our party, and we’ll cry if we want to
Lie if we want to, die if we want to
You would cry too if you had who we do

Nobody knows where Mitt Romney has gone
Delay had to resign
McCain was one we can’t stand
The rest just wallow in slime

It’s our party, and we’ll cry if we want to
Lie if we want to, die if we want to
You would cry too if you had who we do

Naughty Mark Sanford’s romancin’ tonight
Michele Bachmann’s spewin’ bile
We don’t like Mike Huckabee
Cheney will soon be on trial

It’s our party, and we’ll cry if we want to
Lie if we want to, die if we want to
You would cry too if you had who we do

(musical interlude)

Aw, Sarah Palin behaves just like a whore
She’s a mean ding-a-ling
Jindal should open his eyes
He’ll never be our king

It’s our party, and we’ll cry if we want to
Lie if we want to, die if we want to
You would cry too if you had who we do

Oh, It’s our party, and we’ll cry if we want to
Lie if we want to, die if we want to
You would cry too if you had who we do

Oh, It’s our party, and we’ll cry if we want to
Lie if we want to, die if we want to