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Republicans: A Whole Lotta Nuthin’

republican-logocopy

We apologize for posting so late today, but some pressing matters required some tending to. So, without further ado…

The party of “No” is up to its old tricks again. Democratic Senator, Harry Reid has announced that he would like to open debate on the Senate version of the health care reform bill as early as this Tuesday, November 17th. Thereafter, he would like a vote on the bill prior to the winter holiday recess.

“Not so fast”, say the Republicans. “What is the hurry”? You see, the G.O.P. leadership plans on utilizing some arcane Senate rules to delay the process to some time well into the new year. The reason for the expected delay tactics is that the Republicans will do anything in their power to derail health care reform so as to retain the status quo. They would rather see a broken system which costs thousands of lives per year persist so that the private insurance industry, which funds their campaign coffers, can continue to reap astronomical profits while denying health care benefits to policyholders. Of course the current system also leaves millions of people uninsured altogether. By delaying any vote on the Senate health care reform bill until 2010, an election year, the Republicans believe that many more blue-dog Democrats will vote against the bill in order to  avoid the massive campaign funding of their opponents by the insurance industry.

It is obvious that the Republicans are playing a game in which human lives are the pawns. They offer no solution to the health insurance crisis. Indeed, their inaction would allow the crisis to grow exponentially greater in the very near future. That is not a concern to the Republicans however. They would rather line the pockets of the insurance industry which in turn translates into huge campaign contributions. Let’s hope that the Senate Democrats hold strong to their convictions and move forward as quickly as possible on health care reform legislation. The passage of such a bill which will have massive voter support will not only help to alleviate some of the most egregious effects of the current broken system, but it will also help to solidify the branding of Republicans as the party of “No”. That is a title that may doom the G.O.P. to minority status for quite some time.

Today’s song parody takes a rapid-fire look at Republicans past, present and future. Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.

We Didn’t Start The Fire song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pKu2QaytmrM

WE DIDN’T START THE LYING

(sung to the Billy Joel song “We Didn’t Start The Fire”)

Ronald Reagan, Larry Craig, Mark Sanford, Tom Delay
Michelle Malkin, Michele Bachmann, “Goin’ with the flow”

Joe McCarthy, Richard Nixon, Howard Baker, lack of vision
Spreading Fear, Acting queer, and ole Sixpack Joe

No icebergs, H-Bomb, “Pay for play”, “Hockey Mom”
Landrieu, Hamid Karzai, and that Michael Savage guy

Ivy tower, Van Flein, Tea-bagger party scene
Party of “No”, Tim Pawlenty, Let’s watch Glenn Beck cry

These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it

Vitter’s fallin’, Ginny Foxx, Boehner and Inhofe
Mitch McConnell, small umbrella, Talking the talk

Spin Zone, Rent to own, Straight martini, Bank loan
Russian view and Pastor Haggard’s flock

Sex crimes, Grassley, John McCain is “Mavericky”
Lining pockets, health care plan, Giuliani, Limbaugh Land

Barrasso, Fake protest, Tom “The Hammer”, Chambliss
Senate race, Lack of grace, and Melvin Martinez

These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it

Loaded Glock, SarahPAC, Sam Alito, Johnny Mack
Jindal, Right to die, Tripp’s father is Levi

Pentagon, Border wall, We must deport them all
Bed-wetters, genocide, No assisted suicide

Bush’s folly, Torture, Dick Cheney, Blackwater
Hate groups, Castro, John Ensign and his ‘ho

First Dude, Hannity, Mann Coulter and O’Reilly
Scooter Libby, Karl Rove, Sarah Palin’s “Sixpack Joes”

These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it

Kay Bailey, Muslims, K Street is full of bums
Villains, Pearlman, Iraqi Invasion

Health reform hysteria, Sarah Palin mania
Shameless G-Men, War in Afghanistan

Ron Paul, Airport sex, They don’t want no litmus test
Kneel and pray, Always “nay”, Can’t get married if you’re gay

These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it

Birth control, Lives of sin, They like folks that have white skin
Buckshot, Dow stock, Loud mouthed chicken-hawks
Takin’ Bacon, Palestine, Palin is no friend of mine
Now they have nukes in Iran, Couldn’t stop the Taliban

Makin’ fortunes, Soldiers die, Did we mention Glenn Beck cried?
Foreign debts, Homeless vets, Exposed by three jets
We voted them out the door, Now they’re just a mouse that roars
Spider holes and unjust wars, I can’t take them anymore.

These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it
(repeat chorus to fade)

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Michelle Malkin Sucks

michelle_malkin_Vampire

Michelle Malkin's High School Yearbook Photo

We are only one week removed from Halloween so it is still appropriate to remind our readers that ultra-conservative anchor-baby pundit Michelle Malkin is like a vampire that sucks all of the breathable oxygen out of any room in which she opens her mouth. The latest Malkin abomination is her November 6th hairpin triggered knee-jerk response to the Fort Hood massacre. Not even twenty-four hours had elapsed since the tragedy occurred and the facts surrounding the event were still murky at best and yet Malkin immediately launched into one of her anti-Muslim hate filled diatribes.

Her November 6th blog entry (which we refuse to link to) consists of a re-posting of a previous article of hers from 2003 after Sgt. Asan Akbar, a Muslim American soldier attacked and killed one soldier and left twelve others wounded. She also reminded her readers that Beltway sniper John Muhammad was Muslim and that he is scheduled to be executed next week. Additionally, she reported that Muslim U.S. soldier Hasan Abujihaad was convicted last year on espionage charges. Of course Malkin does not explain that none of these crimes or criminals have anything to do with the Fort Hood event. She simply fired up the anti-Muslim hate machine by listing a bunch of Muslim criminals.

It is this type of right wing hatred and fear of “the other” that the likes of Malkin, Glenn Beck, Rush Limbaugh and Michael Savage encourage on a daily basis. Their rhetoric is always negative and never positive. It always elicits fear and never promotes hope. It always searches for the lowest common denominator in people and never finds a shared human preference for good and peace. Unfortunately these grim reapers have an audience of right-wing extremists that wait anxiously for their next meal of hatred. Fortunately however, these despicable showmen and their bottom-feeding audiences are being exposed and marginalized on a daily basis. We must all continue to hold their feet to the fire and resist the temptation to be sucked into their hell of an existence.

Please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along to today’s song parody.

The Monster Mash song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FeZftK2kO6U

THE MALKIN MASH

(sung to the Bobby “Boris” Pickett song “Monster Mash”)

She was mouthing off with gab late one night
Malkin’s strange visage, an eerie sight
My blood pressure and pulse both began to rise
What’s up with that weird lazy eye?

She’s talkin’ trash
She did the Malkin mash
The Malkin mash
I think she has a rash
She does the mash
She must be smokin’ hash
She does the mash
She did the Malkin mash

She was ruminating on Obama’s speech
When her logic and her brains went to the beach
We knew she was lying by her growing nose
Inside her skull, a mighty wind blows

She’s talkin’ trash
She did the Malkin mash
The Malkin mash
I think she has a rash
She does the mash
She must be smokin’ hash
She does the mash
She did the Malkin mash

Dear Malkin was having fun
Her air-time had just begun
It was quite apparent that
Michelle had come undone

The show was rockin’ with her babbling sounds
Michelle spewing sentences without nouns
There were blood-shot lines in her crazy ass eyes
One thing missing was the strait-jacket guys

She’s talkin’ trash
She did the Malkin mash
The Malkin mash
I think she has a rash
She does the mash
She must be smokin’ hash
She does the mash
She did the Malkin mash

Out from the closet came the Coulter thing
He was wearing his decoder ring
Waving it round because he was pissed
Have you ever seen so much hair on anybody’s fist?

She’s talkin’ trash
She did the Malkin mash
The Malkin mash
I think she has a rash
She does the mash
She must be smokin’ hash
She does the mash
She did the Malkin mash

Now everything’s cool, Coulter hid his big hand
And Malkin’s diatribe was critically panned
It was one giant laugh if it was viewed
Next time we see that jerk, she is sure to be booed.

She’s talkin’ trash
She did the Malkin mash
The Malkin mash
I think she has a rash
She does the mash
She must be smokin’ hash
She does the mash
She did the Malkin mash

Malkin Whoopie

Michelle Malkin and her assistants arrive at Fox News studio.

Michelle Malkin and her assistants arrive at Fox News studio.

At what point, if ever, do right-wingnut talking heads realize that with their constant name calling of the President of the United States, they are demonstrating the same unpatriotic behavior that they complained about during the reign of the Bush administration? Case in point. Michelle Malkin was a guest on Sean Hannity’s Fox News program last week. While discussing Barack Obama’s speech before the Untied Nations, she had this to say:

He doesn’t like this country very much. And I think you did a great video tour there of all of his wonderful hits on his “We Suck ’09” tour, ah, so far. And this latest speech before the United Nations and its cast of villainous characters — it was really a Legion of Doom parade that he dignified with his presence — and he solidified his place in the international view as the Great Appeaser and the Groveler in Chief!

What is wrong with her? Barack Obama, the President of the United States, “doesn’t like this country very much”? Does Malkin truly believe that? If so, she is as delusional as Glenn Beck, he of the Obama “has a deep seated hatred of white people” comment. These people are truly sick and the same can be said of their blind yet devoted followers.

Inasmuch as we are fast approaching Halloween, please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the song parody.

The Monster Mash song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FeZftK2kO6U

THE MALKIN MASH

(sung to the Bobby “Boris” Pickett song “Monster Mash”)

She was mouthing off with gab late one night
Malkin’s strange visage, an eerie sight
My blood pressure and pulse both began to rise
What’s up with that weird lazy eye?

She’s talkin’ trash
She did the Malkin mash
The Malkin mash
I think she has a rash
She does the mash
She must be smokin’ hash
She does the mash
She did the Malkin mash

She was ruminating on Obama’s speech
When her logic and her brains went to the beach
We knew she was lying by her growing nose
Inside her skull, a mighty wind blows


She’s talkin’ trash
She did the Malkin mash
The Malkin mash
I think she has a rash
She does the mash
She must be smokin’ hash
She does the mash
She did the Malkin mash

Dear Malkin was having fun
Her air-time had just begun
It was quite apparent that
Michelle had come undone

The show was rockin’ with her babbling sounds
Michelle spewing sentences without nouns
There were blood-shot lines in her crazy ass eyes
One thing missing was the strait-jacket guys

She’s talkin’ trash
She did the Malkin mash
The Malkin mash
I think she has a rash
She does the mash
She must be smokin’ hash
She does the mash
She did the Malkin mash

Out from the closet came the Coulter thing
He was wearing his decoder ring
Waving it round because he was pissed
Have you ever seen so much hair on anybody’s fist?

She’s talkin’ trash
She did the Malkin mash
The Malkin mash
I think she has a rash
She does the mash
She must be smokin’ hash
She does the mash
She did the Malkin mash

Now everything’s cool, Coulter hid his big hand
And Malkin’s diatribe was critically panned
It was one giant laugh if it was viewed
Next time we see that jerk, she is sure to be booed.

She’s talkin’ trash
She did the Malkin mash
The Malkin mash
I think she has a rash
She does the mash
She must be smokin’ hash
She does the mash
She did the Malkin mash

Those Crazy Conservative Calendar Chicks

Last year's conservative chick calendar

Last year's conservative chick calendar

As we have said before, sometimes you just can’t make this stuff up. I pull my head away from the football games for just one moment and I learn that the The Clare Boothe Luce (whoever the hell she is) Policy Institute has released its fifth annual “Great American Conservative Women Calendar for 2010“. Besides the fact that the words, “Great American” and “Conservative Women” are mutually exclusive, who in the mad, mad, mad, mad, mad world of marketing ever could believe that such a thing could sell? There are going to be so many unwanted copies of this thing that they should just hang them up at the U.S Post Office next to the photos of all of those wanted felons.

Rather than list the names of the morons that will be featured in the calendar, we felt that we would simply incorporate them into tonight’s song parody. Please take note however, that even this conservative brain trust elected not to associate itself with Sarah Palin. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.  Please enjoy.

Calendar Girl song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qUlOyj9F5gM

Remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.

CALENDAR GALS

(sung to the Neil Sedaka song “Calendar Girl”)

Beck loves, Beck loves, Beck loves his calendar gals
Right wing calendar gals
Beck loves, Beck loves, Beck loves his calendar gals
Preaching those politics of fear

(January) Who is Kate Obenshain?
(February) Some Claire Boothe Luce dame
(March) Ann Coulter has a mannish smile
(April) Michelle Malkin’s breath smells just like bile
Yeah, yeah, I just wanna hurl
Every time I take a look at those calendar girls
Every day (oh, dismay)
Every day (oh, dismay)
Of the year
(every day of the year)

(May) Marji Ross has a gigantic bum
(June) Kelly-Anne Conway is so very dumb
(July) Michele Bachmann looks like a ‘ho
(August) Carrie Prejean must really need the dough
Yeah, yeah, I just wanna hurl
Every time I take a look at those calendar girls
Every day (oh, dismay)
Every day (oh, dismay)
Of the year
(every day of the year)

(musical interlude)

Every time I take a look at those calendar girls
Every day (oh, dismay)
Every day (oh, dismay)
Of the year
(every day of the year)

(September) Bay Buchanan’s age is sixty-three
(October) Phyllis Schlafly’s older than a redwood tree
(November) The Cupp chick goes by the name S.E.
(December) That Star Parker keeps strange company
Yeah, yeah, I just wanna hurl
Every time I take a look at those calendar girls
Every day (oh, dismay)
Every day (oh, dismay)
Of the year
(every day of the year)

Beck loves, Beck loves, Beck loves his calendar gals
Right wing calendar gals
Beck loves, Beck loves, Beck loves his calendar gals
Preaching those politics of fear

Little (Republican) Women

Need we say any more?
Need we say any more?

Those of us here at Lynnrockets’ Blast-Off do not want to appear sexist, but honestly folks, have you ever considered the absurdity of Republican women? They are a group that seems to have, as Glenn Beck would say, ” a deep seated hatred of women.” They voluntarily joined a political party that is against equal pay for women in the workplace. They also would like to deny women free choice in matters involving pregnancy. We understand that many women oppose abortion, but having the ability to choose the procedure would not force any woman to choose abortion. She could just as easily choose to have the child. You see, that is the choice they would have. They could choose what medical procedure they deemed best for themselves. But no, Republican women believe that women are incapable of making an informed decision in their own best interest. Best leave those decisions to the government that they so allegedly despise.

Is it any wonder then that in an attempt to find a leader of their own gender, these Republican women have chosen Sarah Palin? Has there ever been a woman that more vocally railed against women’s rights than she? From advocating against gender equal pay to charging victims for police rape kits, Palin has demonstrated time and again that she believes women do not have the right to equality or the ability to perform at the same level as men. Perhaps that is the reason why she needed Todd “First Dude” Palin to run the Governor’s Office for her during the short time that she occupied it.

Let’s also consider Minnesota Congresswoman Michele Bachmann and Ohio Congresswoman Jean Schmidt. Bachmann is an absolute nut job that lacks any outward appearance of intelligence, but let’s let her tell us a little bit about herself in her own words,

“I look at the Scripture and I read it and I take it for what it is. I give more credence in the Scripture as being kind of a timeless word of God to mankind, and I take it for what it is. And I don’t think I give as much credence to my own mind, because I see myself as being very limited and very flawed, and lacking in knowledge, and wisdom and understanding. So, I just take the Bible for what it is, I guess, and recognize that I am not a scientist, not trained to be a scientist. I’m not a deep thinker on all of this. I wish I was. I wish I was more knowledgeable, but I’m not a scientist.” – Michele Bachmann interviewing with Todd Fiel at KKMS as quoted in the Stillwater Gazette, September 29, 2003.

Now let’s consider Jean Schmidt. In fact let’s look at a few of her quotes to see if we can find some intelligent thought,

“I pledge to … refrain from name-calling or the questioning of character, … Harsh words often lead to headlines, but walking this path is not a victimless crime. This great House pays the price.”

Followed by,

“He asked me to send Congress a message: Stay the course, … He also asked me to send Congressman Murtha a message: that cowards cut and run, marines never do.”

Followed by,

“There’s no way that I remotely tried to impugn his character.”

Nope. No sign of intelligent life there.

American Woman song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=leSdvfYcDw0

REPUBLICAN WOMEN

(sung to the Guess Who song “American Woman”)

Republican women they’ve all lost their minds
Republican women, they’ve really lost their minds
Republican women they’ve all lost their minds
Republican women they’ve all lost their minds

Say “R”, say “E”, say “P”
Say “L”, say “I”, say “C”
Say “A” “N”

Republican women they’ve all lost their minds
Republican women they’ve all lost their minds
Republican women they’ve all lost their minds

Republican women, stay away from me
Republican women, from the G.O.P.
You are someone I’ll just ignore
I don’t wanna see your face no more
I got more important things to do
And I will never be sold on you

Now women, I said stay away

Republican women, listen what I say

Republican women, have no dignity
Republican women, and their tea-parties
Like I told you the time before
Michele Bachmann is just a bore
Mann Coulter I do despise
Malkin has a lazy eye
Now women, I said get away
Republican women, listen what I say

Republican women, it’s clear as day
Republican women, they’re no Tina Fey
Talk about defending our shores
Their husbands prefer time with whores
Jean Schmidt always makes a scene
Sarah Palin thinks she’s queen
Mary Matalin’s hypnotized
Ingraham’s mouth is super-sized
Now women, from the G.O.P.
Republican women, mama let me be

Go, gotta get away, gotta get away
Now go go go
Gonna leave you, women
Gonna leave you, women
Bye-bye
Bye-bye
Bye-bye
Bye-bye
You’re no good for me
I’m no good for you
Gonna look you right in the eye.
Tell you what I’m gonna do
You know I’m gonna leave
You know I’m gonna go
You know I’m gonna leave
You know I’m gonna go, women
I’m gonna leave, women
Goodbye, Republican women

Malkin Gets Stepped On By Stephanopoulos and Co.

Malkin is forced to wear tinfoil dunce-cap on television.

Malkin is forced to wear tinfoil dunce-cap on television.

We just love it when right wing pundits appear on serious news programs and make fools of themselves. It always seems to happen the same way. In the midst of a serious policy discussion amongst learned individuals, the right wing pundit will simply parrot a misplaced Republican talking point that Rush Limbaugh or some similar imbecile has instructed them to repeat ad nauseam. At that point the rest of the panel usually pauses, stares at the right wing fool for a few seconds and then continues their conversation as if the offending pundit had said nothing at all. It reminds you of those family get togethers when you are discussing what should be done about Uncle Charley’s failing health, and one of the little children wanders into the room and says, “Look at me, I’m a flying dinosaur.” The usual response being, “That’s nice honey, now run along now because adults are talking here.”

Sometimes, however, the right wing pundit says something so stupid that it cannot be simply ignored. The bad behavior must, in a sense, be punished. This is what happened to Michelle Malkin this weekend on This Week  With George Stephanopoulos. During a discussion about the economy and the effect of different measures on the recession, Malkin theorized that unemployment benefits and extensions thereto are bad for the economy because people would rather collect their “government cheese” than be employed. Her point being, that if we do not give the jobless any unemployment benefits, they will simply get jobs and return to work. i guess she did not understand that there are no jobs to go back to. The rest of the roundtable (including Stephanopoulos) slapped her down immediately for her ignorance. The whole conversation can be viewed at crooksandliars.com here.

Please click on the song link below to have more fun singong along.

Michelle song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iBwGmOexmNo

MICHELLE

(Sung to The Beatles song “Michelle”)

Michelle, from Hell
These are words that go together well,
Weird Michelle.

Michelle, do tell,
Do you even possess one brain cell
One tiny cell?

Just shut up, just shut up, just shut up
You have nothing to say
Would you just go away
And crawl back under that rock from whence you
Ca-ame yesterday.

Michelle, Oh well,
You’ve been put under a right-wing spell
A sure death knell

On Fox News, on Fox News, on Fox News
That’s where you’ll always be
Republican TV
With Hannity and O’Reilly
And Coulter, the queen

We mock you…

We want you, we want you, we want you,
To leave the air-waves now
And lose your job somehow
Until you do we’re telling you so
You’ll understand.

Michelle, farewell
Take with you that foul sulfuric smell
Sulfuric smell.

We will say the only words we know that
You’ll understand, “Go to Hell.”

Breaking News (or, This Just In) – 2

MalkinUnhingedl

Gotta love the news ticker at the bottom.

Breaking News:  While commenting on the David Letterman apology, Sarah Palin says that she is glad men can “evolve.” As a christian fundamentalist, is she allowed to believe in evolution?

This Just In:  Right wing pundit Ann Coulter says that his favorite food is Adam’s Apple Pie.

Breaking News:  Four innocent Chinese nationals are released from Guantanamo Bay and relocated to Bermuda. Right wing pundits go nuts. Why?

This Just In:  Fox News pundit Glenn Beck solves water shortage problem in south-west United States. He cried them a river on his show last night.

Breaking News:  Former Idaho Senator, Larry “Wide Stance” Craig enrolls in adult recreational football league. He said that he is willing to be either a wide receiver or a tight end.

This Just In:  So as not to offend anyone, David Letterman explains that Bristol Palin is so ugly because Janet Reno is her father. He gave credit for the joke to Arizona Senator, John McCain.

And here is today’s song parody…

Remember to click on the song link below because it makes singing along a lot more fun.

Yellow Submarine song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=22ZhDclIgi0&feature=related

YELLOW SARAH P.

(Sung to the Beatles song “Yellow Submarine”)

In the state where she was born,
The A.I.P. wants to secede,
Todd, “the First Dude’s” bossy wife,
Yes, her name is Sarah P.

Once the mayor of Wasilla,
And a one-time beauty queen,
Now she shills for “Arctic Cat”
Cheering for Todd’s snow-machine.

Alaska must get rid of Sarah P.,
Rid of Sarah P., Rid of Sarah P.
Alaska must get rid of Sarah P.,
Rid of Sarah P., Rid of Sarah P.

And her friends just love their boss,
Meg Stapleton and old Wayne Ross,
Now their band begins to play…

(Trumpets play)
DaDaDaDumpDeDumpDeDump
DaDaDaDumpDeDumpDeDump

Alaska must get rid of Sarah P.,
Rid of Sarah P., Rid of Sarah P.
Alaska must get rid of Sarah P.,
Rid of Sarah P., Rid of Sarah P.

(Full speed ahead, Ms. Palin, full speed!
Russia’s over here, Mam!
Putin! Putin!
Aye, aye, Mam, fire!
Guv’nor! Guv’nor!)

Now she lives a life of ease,
But can’t recite her A-B-C’s, (her A-B-C’s)
“Hockey Mom” (hockey mom), with “lipstick on”, (lipstick on)
Savior of (savior of) the G.O.P. (G.O.P.) (Hahaha!)

Alaska must get rid of Sarah P.,
Rid of Sarah P., Rid of Sarah P.
Alaska must get rid of Sarah P.,
Rid of Sarah P., Rid of Sarah P.

(fading)

Alaska must get rid of Sarah P.,
Rid of Sarah P., Rid of Sarah P.
Alaska must get rid of Sarah P.,
Rid of Sarah P., Rid of Sarah P.

Malkin, Letterman, Palin Mash

Malkin eyes 2

Michelle Malkin Looking Intelligent

Today’s targeted reich-wing pundit is Fox News contributor and columnist, Michelle Malkin. This weekend she jumped upon the David Letterman/Sarah Palin feud bandwagon. Nothing really original from her, she just mimicked the Palin camp line of attack that states that one should not resort to meanspirited name calling. Just like Palin and her cronies though, Malkin then proceeded to call Letterman a perverted child molester. Perhaps now she too will be honored enough to be the subject of a Top Ten List.

Remember to click on the song link below because ti makes singing along a lot more fun.

The Monster Mash song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FeZftK2kO6U

THE MALKIN MASH

(sung to the Bobby “Boris” Pickett song “Monster Mash”)

She was mouthing off with gab late one night
Malkin’s strange visage, an eerie sight
My blood pressure and pulse both began to rise
What’s up with that weird lazy eye?

She’s talkin’ trash
She did the Malkin mash
The Malkin mash
I think she has a rash
She does the mash
She must be smokin’ hash
She does the mash
She did the Malkin mash

She was ruminating on Palin’s trip east
And the night that Letterman skewered the beast
There’s Sarah’s slutty flight attendant clothes
Topped off by her Naughty Monkeyed toes

She’s talkin’ trash
She did the Malkin mash
The Malkin mash
I think she has a rash
She does the mash
She must be smokin’ hash
She does the mash
She did the Malkin mash

Dear Malkin was having fun
Her air-time had just begun
The guests included Ziegler
Hannity and his gun

The show was rockin’ with their babbling sounds
Michelle spewing sentences without nouns
There were blood-shot lines in her crazy ass eyes
One thing missing was the strait-jacket guys

She’s talkin’ trash
She did the Malkin mash
The Malkin mash
I think she has a rash
She does the mash
She must be smokin’ hash
She does the mash
She did the Malkin mash

Out from the closet came the Coulter thing
He was wearing his decoder ring
Waving it round because he was pissed
Have you ever seen so much hair on anybody’s fist?

She’s talkin’ trash
She did the Malkin mash
The Malkin mash
I think she has a rash
She does the mash
She must be smokin’ hash
She does the mash
She did the Malkin mash

Now everything’s cool, Coulter hid his big hand
And Malkin’s diatribe was critically panned
It was one giant laugh if it was viewed
Next time we see that whore, she is sure to be booed.

She’s talkin’ trash
She did the Malkin mash
The Malkin mash
I think she has a rash
She does the mash
She must be smokin’ hash
She does the mash
She did the Malkin mash

Anchor Babies Aweigh!

Michelle-MalkinatorFire

The hypocrisy of right-wing pundits never ceases to amaze. Case in point, Michelle Malkin. This conservative commentator and blogger typically spews forth the boiler-plate conservative Republican diatribe against certain children referred to as “anchor babies.” An anchor baby is generally defined by these pundits as a child born in the United States to immigrants or other non-citizens regardless of the immigration status of the parents (including, but not limited to those on student or work visas). The term is derogatory because it refers to the role of the child (a U.S. citizen by birth) as facilitating immigration by family reunification pursuant to the provisions of the Immigration and Nationality Act of 1985.

On June 13, 2004, Ms. Malkin posted an article on her website enitled, “No More Drive-By Citizenshiphttp://michellemalkin.com/2004/06/13/no-more-drive-by-citizenship/ . In it she states,

Interesting development this weekend in Ireland, which overwhelmingly passed a referendum to stop granting automatic citizenship to anybody born on the island. The vote, supported by 80 percent of the electorate, brings the country in line with the rest of the EU nations, which offer citizenship based either on the nationality of parents or on a sufficient length of (legal) residence.

During my book tour across the country for Invasion, this issue came up time and again. In the Southwest, everyone has a story of heavily pregnant women crossing the Mexican border to deliver their “anchor babies.” At East Coast hospitals, tales of South Korean “obstetric tourists” abound. (An estimated 5,000 South Korean anchor babies are born in the US every year). And, of course, there’s a terrorism angle.

Now, here comes the hypocrisy. Michelle Malkin was born on October 20, 1970 in Philadelphia, PA to Filipino parents while they were in the United States on student visas. (See  http://www.nndb.com/people/761/000027680/ and http://www.booknotes.org/Transcript/?ProgramID=1705). Consequently, she is an “anchor baby.” Is it any wonder that she has little to no credibility and cannot be taken seriously, or that her blog is entitled, “Hot Air”?

It is also lots of fun to watch reich-wing pundits eating their young. Think Progress today has an article which exposes the simmering feud between Malkin and Bill O’Reilly. http://thinkprogress.org/2009/05/28/oreilly-targets-commenters/

You guessed it. Here comes the song parody…

Michelle song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iBwGmOexmNo

MICHELLE

(Sung to the Beatles song “Michelle”)

Michelle, from Hell
These are words that go together well,
Weird Michelle.

Michelle, do tell,
Do you even possess one brain cell
One tiny cell?

Just shut up, just shut up, just shut up
You have nothing to say
Would you just go away
And crawl back under that rock from whence you
Ca-ame yesterday.

Michelle, Oh well,
You’ve been put under a right-wing spell
A sure death knell

On Fox News, on Fox News, on Fox News
That’s where you’ll always be
Republican TV

With Hannity and O’Reilly
And Coulter, the queen

We mock you…

We want you, we want you, we want you,
To leave the air-waves now
And lose your job somehow
Until you do we’re telling you so
You’ll understand.

Michelle, farewell
Take with you that foul sulfuric smell
Sulfuric smell.

We will say the only words we know that
You’ll understand, “Go to Hell.”