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Republicans: A Whole Lotta Nuthin’

republican-logocopy

We apologize for posting so late today, but some pressing matters required some tending to. So, without further ado…

The party of “No” is up to its old tricks again. Democratic Senator, Harry Reid has announced that he would like to open debate on the Senate version of the health care reform bill as early as this Tuesday, November 17th. Thereafter, he would like a vote on the bill prior to the winter holiday recess.

“Not so fast”, say the Republicans. “What is the hurry”? You see, the G.O.P. leadership plans on utilizing some arcane Senate rules to delay the process to some time well into the new year. The reason for the expected delay tactics is that the Republicans will do anything in their power to derail health care reform so as to retain the status quo. They would rather see a broken system which costs thousands of lives per year persist so that the private insurance industry, which funds their campaign coffers, can continue to reap astronomical profits while denying health care benefits to policyholders. Of course the current system also leaves millions of people uninsured altogether. By delaying any vote on the Senate health care reform bill until 2010, an election year, the Republicans believe that many more blue-dog Democrats will vote against the bill in order to  avoid the massive campaign funding of their opponents by the insurance industry.

It is obvious that the Republicans are playing a game in which human lives are the pawns. They offer no solution to the health insurance crisis. Indeed, their inaction would allow the crisis to grow exponentially greater in the very near future. That is not a concern to the Republicans however. They would rather line the pockets of the insurance industry which in turn translates into huge campaign contributions. Let’s hope that the Senate Democrats hold strong to their convictions and move forward as quickly as possible on health care reform legislation. The passage of such a bill which will have massive voter support will not only help to alleviate some of the most egregious effects of the current broken system, but it will also help to solidify the branding of Republicans as the party of “No”. That is a title that may doom the G.O.P. to minority status for quite some time.

Today’s song parody takes a rapid-fire look at Republicans past, present and future. Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.

We Didn’t Start The Fire song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pKu2QaytmrM

WE DIDN’T START THE LYING

(sung to the Billy Joel song “We Didn’t Start The Fire”)

Ronald Reagan, Larry Craig, Mark Sanford, Tom Delay
Michelle Malkin, Michele Bachmann, “Goin’ with the flow”

Joe McCarthy, Richard Nixon, Howard Baker, lack of vision
Spreading Fear, Acting queer, and ole Sixpack Joe

No icebergs, H-Bomb, “Pay for play”, “Hockey Mom”
Landrieu, Hamid Karzai, and that Michael Savage guy

Ivy tower, Van Flein, Tea-bagger party scene
Party of “No”, Tim Pawlenty, Let’s watch Glenn Beck cry

These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it

Vitter’s fallin’, Ginny Foxx, Boehner and Inhofe
Mitch McConnell, small umbrella, Talking the talk

Spin Zone, Rent to own, Straight martini, Bank loan
Russian view and Pastor Haggard’s flock

Sex crimes, Grassley, John McCain is “Mavericky”
Lining pockets, health care plan, Giuliani, Limbaugh Land

Barrasso, Fake protest, Tom “The Hammer”, Chambliss
Senate race, Lack of grace, and Melvin Martinez

These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it

Loaded Glock, SarahPAC, Sam Alito, Johnny Mack
Jindal, Right to die, Tripp’s father is Levi

Pentagon, Border wall, We must deport them all
Bed-wetters, genocide, No assisted suicide

Bush’s folly, Torture, Dick Cheney, Blackwater
Hate groups, Castro, John Ensign and his ‘ho

First Dude, Hannity, Mann Coulter and O’Reilly
Scooter Libby, Karl Rove, Sarah Palin’s “Sixpack Joes”

These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it

Kay Bailey, Muslims, K Street is full of bums
Villains, Pearlman, Iraqi Invasion

Health reform hysteria, Sarah Palin mania
Shameless G-Men, War in Afghanistan

Ron Paul, Airport sex, They don’t want no litmus test
Kneel and pray, Always “nay”, Can’t get married if you’re gay

These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it

Birth control, Lives of sin, They like folks that have white skin
Buckshot, Dow stock, Loud mouthed chicken-hawks
Takin’ Bacon, Palestine, Palin is no friend of mine
Now they have nukes in Iran, Couldn’t stop the Taliban

Makin’ fortunes, Soldiers die, Did we mention Glenn Beck cried?
Foreign debts, Homeless vets, Exposed by three jets
We voted them out the door, Now they’re just a mouse that roars
Spider holes and unjust wars, I can’t take them anymore.

These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it
(repeat chorus to fade)

Republican Party Games

banana_repubs_010306

Did you ever wonder what it must feel like to admit that you are a Republican these days? How it must feel to say that you are not only in the same party but also subscribe to the same political policies as some of the craziest wingnuts ever to group together under one banner? Can you imagine trying to say with a straight face that you voted for any of the criminal Banana Republicans shown above or the philandering perverted Republicans such as:

Ronald Reagan, Newt Gingrich, John McCain, David Vitter, Mark Foley, Larry Craig, Rudolph Giuliani, Ted Haggard, Bob Allen, Glenn Murphy, Jr., John Ensign, Sarah Palin (maybe), Mark Sanford, Paul Stanley and Mike Duvall.

We here at Lynnrockets’ Blast-Off believe that it would make you want to cry. That my friends, leads us right into today’s song parody. Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.

It’s My Party song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WRbsz1Ha7Zo

IT’S OUR REPUBLICAN PARTY

(sung to the Lesley Gore song “It’s My Party”)

It’s our party, and we’ll cry if we want to
Lie if we want to, die if we want to
You would cry too if you had who we do

Nobody knows where Mitt Romney has gone
Delay had to resign
McCain was one we can’t stand
The rest just wallow in slime

It’s our party, and we’ll cry if we want to
Lie if we want to, die if we want to
You would cry too if you had who we do

Naughty Mark Sanford’s romancin’ tonight
Michele Bachmann’s spewin’ bile
We don’t like Mike Huckabee
Cheney will soon be on trial

It’s our party, and we’ll cry if we want to
Lie if we want to, die if we want to
You would cry too if you had who we do

(musical interlude)

Aw, Sarah Palin behaves just like a whore
She’s a mean ding-a-ling
Jindal should open his eyes
He’ll never be our king

It’s our party, and we’ll cry if we want to
Lie if we want to, die if we want to
You would cry too if you had who we do

Oh, It’s our party, and we’ll cry if we want to
Lie if we want to, die if we want to
You would cry too if you had who we do

Oh, It’s our party, and we’ll cry if we want to
Lie if we want to, die if we want to

Sarah Palin and the (G)rand (O)ld (P)erverts

Former G.O.P. Senator, Arlen Specter at Town Hall Meeting

Former G.O.P. Senator, Arlen Specter at Town Hall Meeting

We all believed after the last two election cycle defeats for Republicans that the party would disappear as the result of voter defections. We did not anticipate that the party would implode from within as the result of numerous party member resignations triggered by so many tawdry sex scandals. OK, to be honest, maybe we did think that could happen also, too. Nonetheless, we did not think it would happen so rapidly.

Let’s take a look at our list of Republican philanderers and perverts. Ronald Reagan, Newt Gingrich, John McCain, David Vitter, Mark Foley, Larry Craig, Rudolph Giuliani, Ted Haggard, Bob Allen, Glenn Murphy, Jr., John Ensign, Sarah Palin (maybe), Mark Sanford and Paul Stanley.

Oh wait, now we have another one. Let’s have a warm welcome and a stream of hearty applause for California State Assemblyman, Mike Duvall. This guy’s accomplishments in the field of sexual depravity rank right up there with Senator David Vitter and his diaper wearing trysts with hookers. Duvall abruptly resigned from office last week after it was revealed that he inadvertently broadcast descriptions of his sexual conquests over a live microphone feed which recorded his boasting. If that weren’t embarrassing enough, it was discovered that these sexual liaisons took place with women other than his wife. You see where this is going don’t you? That is correct, Duvall is a strict “family values” Republican and strong supporter of the sanctity of marriage. But then again, aren’t they all?

In the recording, Duvall describes in graphic detail about the women he said he slept with including one of whom that was a lobbyist with an energy firm with business before the utilities committee on which Duvall sat as vice chairman. Here is Mike Duvall telling us all about it in his own words:

“I’ve been getting into spanking her,” he said on the recording. “I like it!”

And as for his girl’s panties’

“She wears little eye patch underwear.”

The frequency of his trysts?

“The other day she came here with her underwear. And so we made love on Wednesday a lot.”

And as for his other mistress,

“Shar—oh, she is hot. I talked to her yesterday. She goes, ‘So are we finished?’ I said no. And I go, ‘You know about the other one, but the other one doesn’t know about you.’”

Trust us, these tapes go a lot further but we would like to keep this blog at least somewhat decent.

Now it is time to update our list of Republican philandering perverts. Ronald Reagan, Newt Gingrich, John McCain, David Vitter, Mark Foley, Larry Craig, Rudolph Giuliani, Ted Haggard, Bob Allen, Glenn Murphy, Jr., John Ensign, Sarah Palin (maybe), Mark Sanford, Paul Stanley and Mike Duvall.

Today’s song parody deals with how it must feel to be a member of the Republican Party these days. Please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along.

Oh, almost forgot. We realize that there is nothing new in today’s post about Sarah Palin but we still like to mention her in the title of blog posts because it gets everyone’s spirits up. Also, too, did anybody watch that thrilling 4th quarter come from behind victory of my beloved Green Bay Packers last night. I love when they beat the Bears. Go Pack, Go!

Bad Boy song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XtwiY11xeus

BAD BOY

(sung to the Beatles song “Bad Boy”)

A bad little perv resigned his office for good
He’s loyal to the right when he’s not busy sporting wood
He sounded just like a fool on that live open mike
I really hope his spouse doesn’t know he’s spanking young girls all night
Well, he likes it when their bottom’s bare
And all those stories he does share
Hey, Duvall, behave yourself.

Buys every S & M book on the magazine stand
Every dime that he gets is spent on softener for his hand
There is no telling how low Mike Duvall is willing to stoop
From slut and mistress trolling to joining a support group
He used a spatula as a prop
To spank those rear-ends nonstop
Now, Duvall, behave yourself

Now your lovin’ momma’s gonna throw you out of bed
She was watching television when she learned what you said
It’s pretty scary that your kids know that you are a rat
You lost everything you had as a result of that one chat
You may still get the “Bobbitt chop”
Cuz your head is hard as rock
Mike Duvall, behave yourself

Senator Schilling? Umm, Thanks, But No Thanks

Red Sox pitcher Kurt Schilling with Bush (is that Teddy Roosevelt in the crowd?)

Red Sox pitcher Kurt Schilling with Bush (is that Teddy Roosevelt in the crowd?)

Let me begin by saying that I am a proud member of Red Sox Nation. That being said however, I also believe that former pitcher and future Hall of Fame inductee, Kurt Schilling is a whack job of the highest order. I will forever be indebted to Mr. Schilling for all that he did on the baseball diamond. He was one of, if not the most, instrumental player in the Sox’ remarkable four game sweep of The Evil Empire (a/k/a New York Yankees) after having been down by three games. Take that, pinstripers! He then carried on his masterful pitching in the 2004 World Series sweep of the St. Louis Cardinals to bring the first championship to Boston since trading Babe Ruth in 1918. We will always remember the “bloody sock.”

Nonetheless, it is Schilling’s politics that cause me to doubt his sanity. He has decided to make Massachusetts his lifetime home despite the fact that he is a Republican. He campaigned for both George W. Bush and John McCain. OK, so he has guts. He is also delusional, however. This week he has floated the idea that he may run for the recently deceased Ted Kennedy’s senatorial seat. Dream on, Kurt. You do not have a chance at winning that election. First of all, Schilling cannot run as a Republican because he is presently registered as “unenrolled” and he has missed the deadline to re-register as a Republican. Secondly, and more importantly, however, he is likely to compete against a field of Bay State political heavyweights such as Joe Kennedy (yes, that Joe Kennedy), Marty Meehan (former member of House of Representatives and current Chancellor of the University of Massachusetts at Lowell), Martha Coakley (Massachusetts Attorney General) and potentially, Vickie Kennedy (Ted’s Widow). He simply does not have the pedigree to compete with these contenders especially if he is not a Democrat. All I can say to you, Kurt is “I knew Ted Kennedy and you’re no Ted Kennedy.” Stick to your right wing blogging.

Please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.

I Get A Kick Out Of You song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FtwO2tKZmwQ

I GET A KICK THAT WE’RE BLUE

(sung to the Frank Sinatra song “I Get A Kick Out Of You”)

My state, thank God is not red, it is blue
We’re truly progressive, liberal yes it’s true
The only exception I know is the case
A few reps from the G.O.P., boy the Statehouse must be so lonely
Re-pub-licans now clearly see
They have been outpaced

I don’t care much for McCain
Giuliani doesn’t appeal to me
Jindal is without a damn clue
And Sarah Palin, “also, too”

Collins and Snowe they’re from Maine
It would be rich if they both made the switch
“Vacation-land” would be totally blue
Republicans would be so few

I get a kick every time the Grand Ole Party implodes before me
I get a kick cuz it’s clear to see, they obviously simply bore me

I don’t care much for McCain
Mike Huckabee doesn’t do much for me
Mitt Romney commands the flip-flopping crew
So I get a kick
Oh, it gives me a boot
I get a kick that we’re blue

Jindal-Bells, Jindal-Bells, Jindal All The Way!

Mr. Jindal's Neighborhood promotional photo

Mr. Jindal's Neighborhood promotional photo

What a pathetic maroon. It appears that Louisiana Governor, Bobby Jindal has fallen into the same trap as Republican governors Mark Sanford (South Carolina) and Sarah Palin (Alaska). After last November’s election, these three (along with a few other more established Republicans) were considered to be serious contenders for the 2012 Republican Presidential nomination. But, something funny happened on the way to the convention. All three first tried to make a name for themselves by publicly declaring that they opposed all of President Obama’s stimulus initiatives and then upped the ante by declaring that they would not accept any stimulus funds on behalf of their respective states.

Problem is, when you publicly declare something, the public tends to take notice and hold you to your word. Sanford and Palin both reversed track and accepted the funds. Coincidentally, Palin is no longer a governor and Sanford’s days are numbered. So, then there was one. Bobby Jindal.

After witnessing the demise of Palin and Sanford, Jindal has elected to try a different tactic. He criticized the stimulus package allotted to his home state. He then gleefully, yet secretly, accepted the federal dollars. Thereafter, just yesterday, he disbursed hundreds of thousands of those same dollars (with a promise of millions more to follow) to his constituents but failed to inform them that the money was, in fact, federal stimulus money. How did he do this? Simple, he had a few of those giant checks printed up (you know, like the Publishers’ Clearinghouse checks on tv) which showed the payor/maker to be, ready…, you got it… ” State of Louisiana, Office of the Governor.”

That’s correct. He simply negated to tell his constituents that they were receiving federal stimulus proceeds and instead, mislead them to believe that his office was responsible for the payouts. (See photo below.) As Arte Johnson from the 1960’s television show, Laugh-In would say, “Very interesting…but stupid!” Jindal failed to realize that even some Louisianians can read about his deception in the press. Ouch!

jindal-check

For a very good description of Jindal’s latest antics, see this Crooks and Liars piece here.

Today’s song parody is another from off that list of #1 songs that appeared on my birthday. This one being from 1970. Please enjoy.

Please click on the song link below to have more fun singing along.

Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L4XEbwyvxPc

TINFOIL KEEPS FORMING ON HIS HEAD

(sung to the B.J. Thomas song “Raindrops keep Falling On My Head”)

Tinfoil keeps formin’ on his head
Bob Jindal’s the guy who can’t remember what he said
Boy, what a dimwit
That tinfoil keeps formin’ on his head, it keeps formin’

Jindal’s been sitting way too long in the sun
He won’t admit it but he needs those Stimulus Funds
Just to keep his job
That tinfoil keeps formin’ on his head, it keeps formin’

And there’s one thing we know
This Jindal guy will cheat me indiscreetly
It won’t be long till Bobby J. implodes completely

Tinfoil keeps formin’ on his head
It’s hard to believe that he’s Louisiana born and bred
Whining constantly
Yet, Bobby still wants to play the game of complainin’
He just can’t see
He’s a spoiled crybaby

(musical interlude)

It won’t be long till Bobby J. implodes completely

Tinfoil keeps formin’ on his head
There’s no chance his state will ever emerge from the red
Not with Bobby J.
Cuz he don’t believe in funds for good job re-trainin’
Or equal pay
There’s no hope for LA


Mark Sanford (and Son)! (Updated)

Republican South Carolina Governor, Mark Sanford tries to remember whether he went to Appalachian Trail or Argentina

Republican South Carolina Governor, Mark Sanford tries to remember whether he went to Appalachian Trail or Argentina

Republicans, the gift that keeps on giving. Now batting, South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford. Where do we begin? Sanford disappears for six days and neither his family nor his staff have any idea as to his whereabouts. The press catches on to the case of the missing governor and so his staff makes up a story that Sanford needed to clear his head by means of hiking the Appalachian Trail.

That fabrication unravels, however when an unidentified South Carolina law enforcement official informs CNN that Sanford’s vehicle has been parked at the airport for several days. Next, airport officials confirm that Sanford has just re-entered the United States from Argentina. What up with that? Finally, we learn today that Sanford has lately been borrowing law enforcement vehicles in the middle of the night for sojourns to parts unknown. Sounds like a little head shrinking may be in order. Or, perhaps he just has a girlfriend like so many other of the “Family Values” Republicans. In any event, this example of irrational behavior should put an end to any Presidential aspirations that Sanford may have harbored for 2012.

UPDATE

Suspicions confirmed. Mark Sanford was traveling with his mistress. We can now update our list of Republican “Family Values” adulterers.

Ronald Reagan, Newt Gingrich, John McCain, David Vitter, Mark Foley, Larry Craig, Rudolph Giuliani, Ted Haggard, Bob Allen, Glenn Murphy, Jr., John Ensign, Sarah Palin (maybe) and Mark Sanford.

Batting next for the Republicans, Mittwit Romney.

Please click on the song link below so as to have more fun singing along.

Sweet Caroline song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FmV_YJm5jAc

SOUTH CAROLINE

(sung to the Neil Diamond song “Sweet Caroline”)

Where he began, we can’t begin to know where
But we do know that something’s wrong
Does Sanford drink?
Is this guy dumb or dumber?
Will Mark next fly off to Hong Kong?

Vans, minivans, roams about
Losing me, losing you
South Caroline
Why did Sanford leave the hood?
He should resign, that would do your state some good

Why, oh why?
Is he all-right, is the guv’nor so lonely?
Where will he next wander off to?
Maybe Frankfurt?
Frankfurt or maybe Boulder?
Not Pennsylvania Avenue

Done, he’s now done, petered out
He should be, in the zoo
South Caroline
Is Sanford misunderstood?
He should resign, that would do your state some good

(musical interlude)

South Caroline
Why did Sanford leave the hood?

South Caroline
Is Sanford misunderstood?

South Caroline

Newt Gin(grinch)

gingrichGrinch

It looks more and more like Newt Gingrich will join the field of G.O.P. contestants for the 2012 Presidential election. “Contestants”, truly is the operative word. The potential group of Republican characters seeking the party’s nomination resembles a hastily assembled cast of has-been celebrities and relative unknowns for a newly developed reality tv series. Perhaps they will name it, Who Wants To Be The Losing Elephant ?

The bucket list seems to presently include Mitt(wit) Romney, Mike Huckabee Hound, Bobby Jindal(bells), Tim (Good ‘n) Pawlenty, Sarah (Baked Alaska) Palin and Mark Sanford (and Son). By the way wouldn’t you just love the idea of a President Sanford taking the stage, not with Hail to The Chief playing in the background but rather, the theme to Sanford and Son. Doo Doo Doo Doo, Doo Doo Doo Doo do do do…   Ahh, but we digress.

Inasmuch as it was Newt Gingrich that was the keynote speaker at this week’s House/Senate Republican fundraising dinner, he must also now be considered a potential 2012 nominee. What with his recent “she is a racist” “oh, wait a minute, no she is not a racist” flip-flop regarding Supreme Court nominee, Sonia Sotomayor, however, he too is now somewhat of a joke. Alas, he too deserves a nickname. How about Newt Gin(grinch)?

If any of you readers have any other suggestions for nicknames for any of the potential Republican candidates, we would love to hear them. Please leave your contributions in the comment section of this post.

And here is the aptly entitled song parody of the day…

Please remember to click on the song link below before reading the lyrics because it is so much more fun to sing along while the actual song is playing.

You’re A Mean One Mr. Grinch song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MPBS7dVrE1U

YOU’RE A HAS-BEEN, NEWT GINGRICH

(sung to the Dr. Seuss song “The Grinch That Stole Christmas”)

You’re a has-been, Newt Gingrich
You’re lacking in appeal
Your were ousted as The Speaker
No one wants to hear you squeal
Newt Gingrich

You’re a unicycle
Without even one wheel

You’ve had three wives, Newt Gingrich
A mistress in the hole
Philandering’s your day job
You’re a slimy ugly troll
Newt Gingich

These woman that like you, must
Be on work release or parole

You’re a vile one, Newt Gingrich
Your words reek with rancid bile
Your criticism of Bill Clinton
As you’re cheating all the while
Newt Gingrich

There couldn’t be a bigger hypocrite
Within a Midwest country mile

You’re a foul one, Newt Gingrich
Your first divorce smelled of skunk
Your wife, Jackie fighting cancer
You told her she was junk
Newt Gingrich

The nicest words to describe you,
Are, as follows, and I quote, Pink. Wank, Punk

You’re a coward, Newt Gingrich
Avoided your army spot
Deferment-seeking chicken-hawk
That likes to talk real tough
Newt Gingrich

Your soul is an appalling dump heap overflowing
With the most disgraceful assortment of Republican
Sound-bytes imaginable,
Mangled up in tangled up knots

You’re the racist, Newt Gingrich
It’s not Judge Sotomayor
You play the race card as a white guy
That’s so laughable I’m sure
Newt Gingrich

You’re a stinking pile of vomit
Sitting in the sun
With feces on top

Republicans? What Republicans?

Republican crybaby2

Republican Crybaby

Now that Democrats have seized control of the White House, Senate and House of Representatives, and since Republicans can now only claim 21% of registered voters, it appears that the United States has evolved into a “Blue Bayou” (Yes, Republicans, we said “evolve”). Things look even bleaker for the G.O.P. when, by their own admission, they must recruit many more females and Hispanics, yet they have chosen to brand the first female Hispanic Supreme Court nominee as a racist. Ouch!

The Republican voice has truly become a lonely cry in the wilderness. The party infighting certainly does not help matters. At this point there are two distinct groups which claim ownership of the Grand Ole Party. One of them is what is left of the conservative Christian right wing base. This faction insists that the party must continue to cling to old-school policies which advance the free market with little to no governmental regulation and at the same time must hold strong on social issues such as freedom of choice and same sex marriage. The other faction believes that the party must move more to the center in order to stem the flow of fleeing members. This disagreement as to direction has caused a large schism in what is left of the party. Furthermore, the party’s group of potential nominees for President in 2012 is weak at best.

All good news for the Democratic Party.

Be sure to click on the song link below because it makes it a lot more fun to sing along.

I Get A Kick Out Of You song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FtwO2tKZmwQ

I GET A KICK THAT WE’RE BLUE

(sung to the Frank Sinatra song “I Get A Kick Out Of You”)

My state, thank God is not red, it is blue
We’re truly progressive, liberal yes it’s true
The only exception I know is the case
A few reps from the G.O.P., boy the Statehouse must be so lonely
Re-pub-licans now clearly see
They have been outpaced

I don’t care much for McCain
Giuliani doesn’t appeal to me
Jindal is without a damn clue
And Sarah Palin, “also, too”

Collins and Snowe they’re from Maine
It would be rich if they both made the switch
“Vacation-land” would be totally blue
Republicans would be so few

I get a kick every time the Grand Ole Party implodes before me
I get a kick cuz it’s clear to see, they obviously simply bore me

I don’t care much for McCain
Mike Huckabee doesn’t do much for me
Mitt Romney commands the flip-flopping crew
So I get a kick
Oh, it gives me a boot
I get a kick that we’re blue

Bobby Jindal? C’mon Let’s Get Serious

JindalKidWhen pondering the list of potential Republican nominees for President in 2012, one really must laugh. Actually, the way things have been going with G.O.P. defections of late (i.e. Arlen Specter and Joe The Plumber), I wonder if there will be anybody left in the party by then. Nonetheless, it would appear that some of the front runners will be the likes of Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, Tim Pawlenty and maybe, but fading fast, Sarah Palin. Perhaps we might even see the return of Mike Huckabee and Rudolph “The Red Faced Adulteror” Giuliani. All things considered, however, I hope Bobby Jinglebells is in the mix right up till the end. The more I consider this guy, the more I think we’ll have plenty of fun digging into his personal life and ridiculing his child-like demeanor.


I realize that this parody is a little out of season, but I just couldn’t help myself. So, here it is…

JINDAL-BELLS

(sung to the song of “Jingle Bells”)

Dashing through Naw’Leans
Sporting his brand new short pants
Taking in the scenes
While practicing a dance

Down in Baton Rouge
He’s a resident
But he can’t wait to move up north
And be the President

Oh, Jindal-Bells, Jindal-Bells
Jindal  I say, “Nay”
Oh how dull it is to be the Guv’nor of LA

Hey, Jindal-Bells, Jindal-Bells
Can Bobby come to play?
He looks like a nine year old out playing in the hay

(musical interlude)

A month or two ago
While climbing in a tree
Bobby was surprised
By the G.O.P.

They said they needed him
And not that Sarah P.
To replenish all their hopes and dreams
As their next nominee

Oh, Jindal-Bells, Jindal-Bells
Jindal  I say, “Nay”
Oh how dull it is to be the Guv’nor of LA

Hey, Jindal-Bells, Jindal-Bells
Can Bobby come to play?
He looks like a nine year old out playing in the hay

(musical interlude)

Bobby then replied (bobby then replied)
What about Romney? (what about romney)
He’s too on our side (he’s too on our side)
And much smarter than me (ha, ha, ha)

Then there’s Newt Gingrich (then there’s newt Gingrich)
And good old Huckabee (and good old Huckabee)
Let’s not forget that other bitch
The Texan, Kay Bailey

Oh, Jindal-Bells, Jindal-Bells
Jindal  I say, “Nay”
Oh how dull it is to be the Guv’nor of LA

Hey, Jindal-Bells, Jindal-Bells
Can Bobby come to play?
He looks like a nine year old out play-ing in the hay!

3 – 2 – 1 Blast-Off ! ! !

5558_astronaut_performing_a_spacewalkHere it is. The first post on this blog’s inaugural journey into outer-blogdom. I would like to introduce myself as your navigational pilot as we traverse the limitless, mysterious, confusing and most especially, humorous expanse of the political universe. Please be forewarned that most of the satire, humor and vitriolic content of this blog will be knowingly and purposely aimed and directed at the conservative right-wing members of the Grand Old Party and those members of the media that support them. In other words, if you do not like the thought of the likes of Sarah Palin, Bobby Jindal, Rush Limbaugh and Ann Coulter being barbecued before your eyes, then now is the time to leave and never return. On the other hand, if that is the sort of stuff that tickles your fancy, then put on your tinfoil helmet, strap yourself in and enjoy the flight.

Some of you might recognize my song parodies from the comment sections of other like-minded blogs and even on the comment pages of many national newspaper websites. It was the feedback from those contributions (primarily from themudflats.net) which prompted me to launch this blog. Whenever possible, I will attempt to post a link (audio or video) that will help readers to either reacquaint themselves or familiarize themselves with the actual tune of each song parody. I hope that my contributions will amuse you and I encourage all readers to comment in the same vein (or in a serious manner if that grinds your beans).

Mind you, I’m new at this, so now is the time to abuse the comment board with all kinds of off-topic contributions until I can figure out some reasonable comment posting rules. Please limit the profanity, however, as I would like the blog to appeal to a wide audience. For the time being, comments will be deleted if they do not pass the Lynnrockets Stink Test (to be defined at a later time).

Shall we blast-off?

We all learned this week of Sarah Palin’s lucrative book deal with HarperCollins (owned, not surprisingly by Rupert Murdoch) in which she will counter all those nasty rumors circulated by the “Gotcha Media.” She will finally get the opportunity to put that journalism degree to work. When you consider her memorable interviews with Couric and Gibson, however, odds are that she will require the assistance of a literate ghostwriter. I’m guessing her tome will have the shelf life of O.J. Simpson’s “If I Did It.” On that note, let’s get to our first song…

Paperback Writer song link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pwap79uy1G8

PAPERBACK WRITER

(sung to the Beatles song “Paperback Writer”)

Paperback writer (paperback writer)

Dear Rush and Coulter, will you read my tome?
It took a year to write in my Wasilla home
It’s based on the life of a political hack
And I take a few shots at old Johnny Mac as a paperback writer,
Paperback writer

A book of topics that I want a say on,
Which I wrote with finger-paints and a crayon.
It was edited by Todd the school drop-out,
He can’t read too well but he wants to be a paperback writer
Paperback writer

Paperback writer (paperback writer)

It’s got twenty pages give or take a few,
And it has some pictures that Piper drew.
I threw in an old joke that Bristol once told
It’s a real page turner and I want to be a paperback writer,
Paperback writer

My new book will appeal to those on the right
And everyone that is straight, racist and white.
Bill O’Reilly will love it, please have no fear,
I sure needed a boost and now I can be a paperback writer.
Paperback writer

Paperback writer (paperback writer)

Paperback writer – paperback writer
Paperback writer – paperback writer
(fading)