Category Archives: SarahPAC

Sarah Palin The Birthday-Girl Wants Your Money

It was a day that will live in infamy. On this very same date exactly 47 years ago in the small town of Standpoint, Idaho, a menace was born.  Charles R. “Chuck” Heath and his wife Sally were cursed with a third child who they named Sarah. From day one the Sarah thing brought ridicule upon the Heaths, and the villagers of Standpoint drove them out of Idaho on a potato truck after only a few months. In no uncertain terms the Heaths were told to take the Sarah thing out of the Lower 48 and to never return.

The disgraced family migrated to the town of Skagway, Alaska where they hid the Sarah thing for almost five years before she was discovered by a dung-heap digger and the family was once again banished by the locals. In the dead of night they surreptitiously made their way to the town of Eagle River, Alaska. For three years they deceived the town folk there into believing that the Sarah thing was some sort of exotic family pet but when the local veterinarian refused to neuter her on the grounds that he did not recognize her species, the gig was up. The Heaths were driven from yet another town and wandered aimlessly until they stumbled upon the lazy hamlet of Wasiila. Chuck quickly deduced that Wasilla was the methamphetamine capital of Alaska and that the dazed and confused citizens were unlikely to pay any attention to their hated spawn. He was correct. Nobody noticed the new addle-minded resident until she was mistakenly elected Mayor on April Fools day in 1996 at the age of 32 (that is 224 in dog years).

Nothing of note happened to the Sarah thing after that other than her election as Governor of Alaska and her nomination as the Republican candidate for Vice President of the United States. Luckily for all involved, she was clobbered in the national election and shortly thereafter she quit the position of Governor after having served only half a term. The world was saved. The Sarah thing would surely fade into obscurity now that she had officially been deemed a quitting loser.

Not so fast! As it turned out, the reports of the Sarah thing’s demise had been greatly exaggerated as the result of the emergence of the villainous Tea Party. That group of under-educated, spelling-challenged, racist, gun-toting, Bible-thumpers found one of their own of the opposite sex to coronate as queen. She even shared their habit of dressing up in funny clothes from a different era. This was a virtual match made in heaven er, hell.

The Sarah Palin thing was revived just like the Frankenstein monster in so many of those movie sequels. She “refudiated’ her critics and commenced a new career; begging for money and selling stuff to her brain-washed fans. She even started her own political action committee so that her supporters could easily finance her lavish lifestyle on a 24/7 basis.

And this brings us full circle to today. Sarah Palin’s birthday. It is impolite to personally ask for cash as a birthday present, but mere social impropriety is no impediment to Sarah Palin. To achieve her goal of grabbing even more money from her Tea-Bagging supporters she has utilized SarahPAC. Palin’s PAC sent a letter to supporters pleading for cash donations in honor of her birthday. It reads, “help me plan a special surprise for Governor Sarah Palin in honor of her birthday on Friday by giving a gift to SarahPAC today.” In an attempt to once again compare herself to Ronald Reagan, the money solicitation contiues with, “Just like Ronald Reagan before her, Governor Palin is despised by the Left because she freely admits her faith in God, is unabashedly proud of America, and fights to limit the long arm of the federal government when it comes to our freedoms and our families.”

This blatant cash-grab is clearly another one of Sarah Palin’s “WTF” moments.

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song’s video link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with tonight’s song parody.

Birthday video link: 


(sung to the Beatles song “Birthday”)

It’s Sarah P’s birthday
A big birthday fool, yeah
It won’t be the first day
She’ll be on Fox in prime-time
It’s Sarah P’s birthday
Here’s a birthday “screw you”!

($1, $2, $3, $4, $5, $6, $7, $8)

Yes she’s gonna throw a big Tea Party
Yes she’s gonna throw a big Tea Party
Yes she’s gonna throw a big Tea Party

There is more than a chance – birthday
Todd will pull down his pants – birthday
With his masseuse he’ll dance – birthday

(Reagan comparison break)

Do you think there’s a chance – birthday
Bristol’s learned how to dance? – birthday
Sarah P’s in a trance – birthday
Whooo – Trance – yeah!

It’s Sarah P’s birthday
She’s a birthday fool, yeah
It’s let’s fill her purse day
She’s counting every last dime
A SarahPAC birthday
She’s sniffing the glue tube!


Boston Station Calls Out Palin Camp Lies And Spanks NYT For Failure To Report

WGBH is a non-commercial television and radio broadcast service located in Boston, Massachusetts. WGBH is a member station of the Public Broadcasting Service, and produces more than two-thirds of PBS’s national primetime programming. Programs produced for PBS include Masterpiece, NOVA, Frontline, American Experience, The Victory Garden and This Old House. WGBH is also well-known for having co-produced numerous period dramas and has collaborated for years with British production companies.

The television station also airs a program broadcast locally in Boston known as “Beat The Press.” It’s website describes the program as follows:

Beat the Press takes a sharp look at how the media, new and old, covers and analyzes the big issues of the week. Created in 1998 by award winning television news producer and host Emily Rooney, Beat the Press is a lively and sometimes sassy look at both the business of media and its journalistic purpose. A four time winner of the National Press Club’s prestigious Arthur Rowse Award for Press Criticism, BTP has become one of the most popular programs on local public television, bringing viewers behind the scenes and into the process of news gathering from television, radio and newspapers, to the vast world of new media including websites, blogs, twitters and more.”

On Monday, January 10th the program’s website featured an article which criticized The New York Times for failing to call out a Sarah Palin spokeswoman on what has all the appearances of a flat-out lie. The article follows below, but please do yourselves a favor and check out the wonderful website with accompanying videos, here.

Times Lets Palin Aide Lie About Gunsight Map

The New York Times today fails to call a Sarah Palin spokeswoman on what has all the appearances of a flat-out lie.

In a story on the political fallout of the weekend carnage in Tucson that claimed the lives of six people and left U.S. Rep. Gabrielle Giffords gravely injured, Times reporters Jeff Zeleny and Jim Rutenberg tell us that Palin adviser Rebecca Mansour denied that those were gunsights on Palin’s infamous map identifying House Democrats she had targeted for defeat. Zeleny and Rutenberg write of Mansour’s appearance on a conservative radio talk show:

Ms. Mansour said that the cross hairs, in fact, were not meant to be an allusion to guns, and agreed with her interviewer’s reference to them as “surveyors symbols.” Aides to Ms. Palin did not respond to interview requests on Sunday.

Yet we already knew otherwise on Sunday, as a Talking Points Memo reader dug up a tweet purportedly written by Palin herself referring to the map symbols in explicitly gun-oriented terms. Palin or her designated tweeter wrote:

Remember months ago “bullseye” icon used 2 target the 20 Obamacare-lovin’ incumbent seats? We won 18 of 20 (90% success rate;T’aint bad)

And let’s not forget that those symbols turned red whenever one of the targeted Democrats went down — just like surveyors symbols, eh?

Few people are blaming Palin for the actions of Jared Lee Loughner, who has been charged with the Saturday shootings. Loughner appears to have been motivated by mental illness rather than politics. Still, Palin’s map was mind-blowingly irresponsible, as Giffords herself said some months ago. This should mark the end of Palin’s public career as anything other than a sideshow freak, much as Ann Coulter all but disappeared after she mocked 9/11 widows. Are the media really going to let Palin and her minions get away with this?

Traditional journalism is incredibly uncomfortable when given proof that someone is flat-out lying. But that’s no excuse for the Times’ ignoring the fact that there was already proof Mansour was lying — or, at best, was incredibly uninformed about her boss’ intentions.

Isn’t it refreshing to see at least one unit of the mainstream media take-on another when it sees that the full story is not being reported? Keep up the good work WGBH and “Beat the Press”!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody which is inspired by the Palin camp’s penchant for lying.

Fins song link:

Note: a fib is a lie


(sung to the Jimmy Buffett song “Fins”)

She came down from Mat-Su Valley
She signed some books while on her plane
Hoping to incite a riot
Sarah Palin sure loves her fame

The Mama Grizzly is in motion
And all she does is snarl and bark
This re-al-it-y TV star
Lies through morning, noon and dark

Can’t you feel ‘em circlin’, Sarah
As you move from town to town?
You tell fibs to the left, fibs to the right
You’re a scheming, lying clown
Oh, oh
Oh, oh
You tell fibs to the left, fibs to the right
And soon you’ll be going down

She’s saving up all of her money
Wants to head down south in May
Maybe hold out her hand to her Tea-Bagging fans
Way down Arizona way

TV money was good this season
Now it’s time to go “reload”
Endless supply of big whopping lies
“Death Panels” paved her road with gold

Can’t you feel ‘em circlin’, Sarah
As you move from town to town?
You tell fibs to the left, fibs to the right
You’re a scheming, lying clown

(Fox News break)

Intellect that’s meager
Sarah Palin is just a dolt
She’s been on a learning diet
And that’s a Lynnrockets’ quote

She has a box just like Pandora
She spews evil cross the land
Just behind the reek from here big white teeth
She forms lies universally panned

Can’t you feel ‘em circlin’, Sarah
As you move from town to town?
She tells fibs to the left, fibs to the right
She’s a scheming, lying clown
She tells fibs to the left, fibs to the right
And Sarah Palin’s going down

“Blood Libel”: Another Example of Palin’s Violent And Insensitive Rhetoric

"I'm the real victim of the Arizona shootings"

Wow, I just watched Sarah Palin’s “I Am The Real Victim Of The Arizona Shootings Speech” and I quickly realized something. The former ex-quitting half-term governor of Alaska is simply incapable of making a statement without resorting to some sort of violent and insensitive rhetoric.

Clearly, the primary intention of Sarah Palin’s Facebook posted, FDR-emulating fireside chat was to deny any connection between her bullet-laden rhetoric and sniper-sight symbolism and the recent Arizona murders. In attempting to do so, she not only placed blame upon media members and government officials that have called for a scaling-back of the ever increasing right-wing inspired calls for “revolution”, “2nd Amendment remedies” and “Bullets, not ballots”, but she also portrayed herself as the real victim of the Arizona atrocity. Problem is, Sarah Palin was incapable of making her point without resorting once again to the very same type of violent and insensitive rhetoric for which she has recently come under fire.

After making only brief reference to the victims of the shooting and failing to mention Rep. Gabrielle Giffords’ ongoing fight for life, Palin said,

“But, especially within hours of a tragedy unfolding, journalists and pundits should not manufacture a blood libel that serves only to incite the very hatred and violence they purport to condemn. That is reprehensible.”

“Blood libel” Sarah? Really, is that the best term you and your team of ghost-writers could come-up with over the last 3 days while you hunkered down in silence? Didn’t anybody in the Palin “brain-trust” dissuade you from not only recklessly using the word “blood” in an inflammatory statement made in the aftermath of a blood-laden tragedy, but also combining it with the word “libel” so as to invoke a very anti-semitic slur? After attending 5 colleges in 6 years which culminated in an alleged degree in journalism, Sarah Palin should have learned somewhere that “blood libel” is a false claim that religious minorities, usually Jews, murder Christian children to use their blood in religious rituals. This was a particularly insensitive term to use in that Gabrielle Giffords is Jewish and 9 year-old Christina Taylor-Green was killed in the attack. Somehow, “Team Palin” always seems to say the wrong thing at the wrong time, so we should not be surprised that she has done it yet again.

The overwhelming tone of Sarah Palin’s statement seemed to be that she considers herself to be one of the main victims of the violent shooting. It is obvious that when she said, “We are better than the mindless finger-pointing we endured in the wake of the tragedy”, she was referring to the finger-pointing which she personally endured as the result of targeting Gabrielle Giffords with sniper-sight symbols. Again, Sarah Palin believes that she too is a victim of this tragedy. Not a single life-threatening bullet grazed her, but her feelings were hurt. Oh, poor, poor piful Sarah!

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Poor, Poor Pitiful Me song link:


(sung to the Linda Ronstadt version of the song “Poor, Poor Pitiful Me”)

Although I’ve left some blood in my tracks
You know I’m still “mavericky”
Twenty lay shot on the floor
Poor, poor Sarah P.

Poor, poor pitiful me
Poor, poor Sarah P
The left-wing won’t let me be
Lord have mercy on me
Woe, woe is me

Well, I targeted Gabrielle real good
I was naming names
Then someone worked her over good
Now they say that I’m to blame
My intentions were misunderstood
I hope the doctors now can mend her
I put her in some danger, Lord
Now they’ve run me through the blender

Poor, poor pitiful me
Poor, poor Sarah P.
The left-wing won’t let me be
Lord have mercy on me
Woe, woe is me

(Reloading break)

Well, all this “blood libel” has consumed me
This poor “Grizzly Mama”
My White House hopes are tumblin’ down
Unless I target Obama!

Poor, poor pitiful me
Poor, poor Sarah P.
The left-wing won’t let me be
Lord have mercy on me
Woe, woe is me

Poor, poor, poor me
Poor, poor pitiful me
Poor, poor, poor me
Poor, poor pitiful me
Poor, poor, poor me
Poor, poor pitiful me

Has Palin Ever Been This Silent For This Long?

Cat got her tongue?

Oh where, oh where is Sarah Palin?

Come out, come out wherever you are!

We have not heard a word from the former ex-quitting half-term governor of Alaska since she issued her Facebook statement of “sincere condolences” last Saturday following the tragic massacre in Tucson, Arizona. Despite the fact that Palin has come under widespread and intense public scrutiny as the result of her perceived symbolic “call to arms” via her public advertisement which placed a sniper’s rifle-sight image over victim Rep. Gabrielle Giffords’ congressional district and mentioned her by name, Palin has uncharacteristically remained silent. Sure, she sent that self-serving private email to her fellow hate-speaker Glenn Beck which he promptly read on the hate-spewing Fox News network. However, “I hate violence. I hate war” is not exactly a coherent retort of any kind. Why is Sarah Palin so tongue tied?

Where are the defensive (and to many, “offensive”) Twitter tweets and Facebook retorts that always immediately materialize after Sarah Palin is criticized? When David Letterman told an offensive joke about her daughter, Palin’s response was instantaneous. When her lie about “death panels” was exposed, Palin quickly doubled down on her mentioning of the fabrication. When Arnold Schwarzenegger needled her about being able to see Russia from his plane, she hastily criticized his governing abilities. And, when a number of literate citizens pointed out that “refudiate” is not a word, she promptly compared herself to William Shakespeare. Any casual viewer of her TLC un-reality television show has noticed that Palin cannot keep her hands off her Blackberry for more than 5 consecutive minutes. So, the 64 thousand dollar question is, where is Sarah Palin’s response when she has been so broadly criticized for having fostered  a toxic environment of hate that may be partially responsible for the attempted assassination of a public official that she “targeted”? Lynnrockets would concur that Sarah Palin’s silence is generally golden, but something is askew.

This is not to say that others have not spoken on behalf of Sarah Palin. Her defenders have appeared in the “lamestream” (as they always used to call it when they ignored it) media and on countless websites and blogs where they have made every attempt to portray Palin as the actual victim of this tragedy. Some have even gone so far as to absurdly suggest that the deadly shooting was carried out by liberals in an attempt to cast blame on Palin and other members of the radical far-right. One Palin-devoted blog, C4P (Conservatives For Palin) has a contributor named Nicole Coulter who told this summer, “We would literally walk across hot broken glass for this woman… She’s our family, and you protect your family; it’s like the mafia.” You can say that again!

The closest member of the Palin clan to publicly comment on the Giffords/Palin connection is Rebecca Mansour. She is a Palin staffer who is active in Palin’s SarahPAC political action committee website. Coincidentally (or not), it was the SarahPAC website (as well as Sarah Palin’s Facebook page) which displayed the controversial sniper-sight symbols. Mansour provides much of the narrative material which appears on the SarahPAC site and it has been alleged that she also ghost-writes many of Palin’s Twitter tweets and Facebook posts. As for the Tucson murders, Mansour said on conservative Tammy Bruce’s radio program last weekend that any attempt to connect the tragedy to Sarah Palin is “obscene” and “appalling”. She went on to say,We never ever, ever intended it to be gun sites.” When radio host Bruce then suggested, “It’s surveyor’s symbols”, Mansour agreed. She responded, “We never imagined, it never occurred to us that anybody would consider it violent.” Rather, she said, that it was simply “crosshairs that you would see on a map. There is “nothing irresponsible about our graphic.


Is Mansour so naive as to think that nobody noticed Sarah Palin’s “don’t retreat, instead- RELOAD!” exclamation which appeared on both her Facebook page and the SarahPAC website shortly after the gun-sight graphic was posted and linked directly back to the cross-hair laden map? Did Mansour also think that nobody noticed Palin’s admission that the symbols were bullseyes when she tweeted on November 4, 2010 as follows:

Additionally, if there was “nothing irresponsible’ about the graphic, then why was it suddenly scrubbed from the website on the very day of the murders? Perhaps some very real ghosts began haunting Palin and her ghost-writer after the killings.

Again we ask, when will Sarah Palin come out of hiding and say something on her own behalf?

Paging Sarah Palin! Paging Sarah Palin!

SPECIAL NOTE: Today is Lynnrockets’ birthday. I do not mention this because of some narcissistic tendency, but only because the numeric date (1/11/11) is noteworthy and I am generally unlikely to be associated with anything that is noteworthy. Consequently, the drink will flow tonight (or the earth will end or something!).

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s reader-requested song parody which describes Sarah Palin’s ghost-written books.

Ghost Riders In The Sky song link:


(sung to the Frankie Laine song  “Ghost Riders In The Sky”)

Yippie I ay, Yippie I oh
The Ghost-Writers in the sky

Alaska’s dope was whining ‘bout Obama one fine day,
Her patience sure was tested by that actress Tina Fey
When all at once a thousand words in her mind’s eye she saw
A sure fire way to spread her lies and keep her fans in awe

Yippie I oh, Yippie I ay
Her words they would buy

So Palin found a buyer and she signed a big book deal
Her brain-power was tiny so her writing lacked appeal
A bolt of fear went through her as poor Sarah realized
Book writing is so friggin’ hard…but she had to spread her lies

Yippie I oh, Yippie I ay
Ghost-Writer she must find

Her face was gaunt, her eyes were blurred, her blouse was soaked with sweat
She needed a ghost-writer now, so she called Lynn Vincent
She recited made-up stories going back to junior high
The tall tales of a big fat liar… written by a paid ally

Yippie I oh, Yippie I ay
The Ghost-Writer on the sly

The critics were not impressed, they said her book was lame
Her fans were not dissuaded, they all bought it just the same
Sarah went on a book-signing tour, took her fans for a ride
She charged them money for her words…and those fools all complied

Yippie I oh, Yippie I ay
(Yippie I oh, Yippie I ay)
The Ghost-Writers in the sky
Yippie I oh, Yippie I ay
Yippie I oh, Yippie I ay
Yippie I oh, Yippie I ay

Sarah Palin Has Blood In Her Sights And On Her Hands (Re-post from 3/30/10)

Lynnrockets has decided to forgo the usual “Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea)” weekly news recap today so as to re-post a blog entry we placed here back on March 30, 2010. The article focused upon Sarah Palin and how her words and symbolism might someday lead to tragic violence. Unfortunately, that prediction may have come true yesterday. This re-post is not intended in any way to give a “pat on the back” to Lynnrockets’ ability to forecast future events. Rather, it is put here to serve as an example of the fact that even back nearly a year ago it was obvious to anyone paying attention, that Palin’s ( and others’ on the radical far-right) use of violence inciting words and symbols was escalating to the boiling point.

The blogosphere and the mainstream media (with the striking exception of Fox News) have nearly all made mention of the Gabrielle Giffords tragedy and Sarah Palin’s targeted and symbolic call to “reload” and “take a stand” against her last March. Again, with the exception of Fox News, they have all made reference to the eight-hundred pound gorilla in the room which is Palin’s despicable “cross-hair” laden call to arms against Giffords (and 19 other Democrats) which she placed on her website. Palin continued to prominently display that horrific inducement to violence well after the November mid-term elections (at which they were allegedly aimed). For what reason would she do that? It was not until after the damage was done yesterday afternoon that Sarah Palin scrubbed her target board from her website. Was that an implicit admission that even she now realizes the danger it posed?

Fox News of course took a different tact. If any of you “took one for the team” and watched the Fox coverage of the event, you noticed how the hosts and their many guest “experts” (excepting Gerlaldo Rivera) avoided any reference to the Palin ad or the ever-escalating right-wing hate speak that preceded yesterday’s murders. Inasmuch as Sarah Palin and Glenn Beck are employees of Fox News, the network made every effort to avoid mention of their names although nearly every other outlet of the mainstream media saw the connection in light of Pima County (Arizona) Sheriff Clarence Dupnik’s widely broadcast condemnation of “vitriolic rhetoric” on radio and television. This was “news” that the “fair and balanced” network willfully chose to ignore in an attempt to distance itself from any connection to the atrocity. In layman’s terms, Fox News was engaged in a blatant cover-up. Want more evidence of this? Then watch how this Fox News host quickly went to a commercial break less than one second after a mourner at a vigil unexpectedly mentioned the name “Sarah Palin”.

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‘Nuff said. The re-post follows:

Let’s be blunt. Sarah Palin is a bad person. She claims to be a pro-lifer, but in reality she has no respect for life. During her short lived and aborted stint as Governor of Alaska, Palin made every effort to keep such animals as the polar bear and the Beluga whale off of the endangered species list. Think about that for a moment. This sad excuse for a human being exhausted every effort to expedite the extinction of entire species of God’s creatures. She also personally violated most every hunter’s code of conduct by encouraging the shooting of wolves from helicopters. She was even insensitive enough to continue filming an interview after it was brought to her attention that a turkey was being beheaded in the background.

It is not just the lives of animals that Sarah Palin has little care for however. She is also very unconcerned about the existence of human life. Why else would she do everything in her power, including fabricating a lie about “death panels”, in an attempt to prevent the passage of the health care reform bill? Palin is aware of the fact that 45,000 Americans die each year because they have no means to access health insurance. She is also aware that more than 30 million citizens of this great nation of ours are uninsured. Yet, she opposed a law that would enable the uninsured to obtain medical services which might save their lives.

Thankfully Sarah Palin’s opposition to health care reform was not shared by the American people or the majority of Congress. Health care reform became law last week for the good of the nation but to the consternation of pouting Palin. Now Sarah Palin is out for revenge. She intends to make her point by inciting her brain-dead Tea-Bagger followers to violence against Democratic Party members of Congress that voted in favor of the health care reform bill.

Her first action was to unleash a violent call to arms via her SarahPAC website. Palin literally targeted 20 House Democrats that voted for health care reform. She named each one of them and placed a symbolic rifle-sight illustration over each of their districts on a map of the United States. As if that symbolism were not gruesome enough, Palin then issued a call to arms to her followers by means of the following ominous words emblazoned on the website: “It’s Time To Take A Stand”.

If one of her nutjob followers takes her incitement to the extreme. Sarah Palin will have more blood on her hands and a lot to answer for.

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody. Please enjoy!

Hit Me With Your Best Shot song link:


(sung to the Pat Benatar song “Hit me With Your Best Shot”)

Well she’s a real tough cookie in the mean G.O.P.
A bitch without a heart; that is Sarah P.
She hates Dems and she’s gonna prove it
Just like the Duke, she’s gonna come out shootin’

Hit ‘em with your best shot!
Let’s start to shoot Dems with our best shot!
Hit ‘em with your best shot!
Fire away!

A slimy, lying moron, this “Mama Bear”
She plays the game but she don’t play fair
Blamed her loss on John McCain
Then she flushed him right down the drain

Hit ‘em with your best shot!
Let’s start to shoot Dems with our best shot!
Hit ‘em with your best shot!
Fire away!

(re-loading break)

A political rookie with a poor history
She can see Russia from her balcony
Palin just took another gun from her rifle case
She’s gonna shoot a Democrat in the face

Hit ‘em with your best shot!
Let’s start to shoot Dems with our best shot!
Hit ‘em with your best shot!
Fire away!

Hit ‘em with your best shot!
Let’s start to shoot Dems with our best shot!
Hit ‘em with your best shot!
Fire away!

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 58

Just a few newsworthy events (and comments thereon) that have been making their way through the political universe this past week. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful day!

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Not All Of My Children” features Sarah Palin. The former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska has just released a new ad which looks strikingly like a Presidential candidate’s ad. In it, she makes reference to all her wonderful “Mama Grizzlies”. Problem is, she apparently has disinherited some of her unsuccessful cubs. Christine O’Donnell, Carly Fiorina, Meg Whitman, Sharron Angle and Linda McMahon are all conspicuously absent. Let’s watch…

THIS JUST IN: Congressman Barney Frank (D-MA) gave the most spot-on victory speech last Tuesday evening. After trouncing the Sarah Palin endorsed Teapublican Sean Bielat, he said this…

Go get’em Barney!

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Despicable Me” stars Sarah Palin. The Queen of Quit included the following “tweet” as one of her favorites on her Twitter account: “The Blood of Jesus ATLAH World Missionary Church” in New York. The sign read: “The blood of Jesus against Obama history made 4 Nov 2008 a Taliban Muslim illegally elected president USA:Hussein.” The next time someone tells you that members of the Tea Party are not racist, vile, violent and deranged, show them Palin’s favorite “tweet”.

THIS JUST IN: It was nice to see the Democrats pick-up a few election victories after Tuesday. Patty Murray won a Washington Senate seat by defeating Sarah Palin endorsed Teapublican Dino Rossi; Pat Quinn won the Illinois Governor’s race by defeating far-right Republican Bill Brady; John Kitzhaber won the Oregon Governor’s race by defeating Republican Chris Dudley; Michael Bennet won a Colorado Senate seat by defeating Sarah Palin endorsed Teapublican Ken Buck and John Hickenlooper won the Colorado Governor’s race by defeating Sarah Palin endorsed Tea-Bagger Tom Tancredo. Dan Malloy won the Connecticut Governor’s race by defeating republican Tom Foley. Most surprising of all however, was that Jenny Oropeza won a California state senate seat by defeating Republican John Stammreich. This is startling because Ms. Oropeza passed away two weeks before the election.

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Never Trust An Unnamed Source Unless It Furthers My Agenda” features Minnesota’s Teapublican Congresswoman Michele Bachmann. The moon-bat crazy Bachmann was punked into believing an anonymous source quoted by an Indian newspaper that claimed that President Obama’s 10 day trip to India will cost in excess of $ 2 billion: $200 million a day, 34 diverted Navy ships, a 2,000-person presidential entourage, and 870 hotel rooms in India. To put things in perspective, the alleged daily cost of the trip would exceed the daily cost of the Afghan war. When pressed by CNN‘s Anderson Cooper to back up her numbers, Bachmann responded, “These are the numbers that are coming out in the press.” Of course she forgot to mention that the “press’ which she relied upon consisted of an unnamed Indian and the Drudge Report. The story has been denied by the Obama administration as “wildly inflated”. Michelle Bachmann is a crazy person and anyone that votes for her should be institutionalized.

THIS JUST IN: The next time some Tea Partier tells you that, as a result of the Republican capture of the House of Representatives in the last election, the Health Care Reform Law will now be repealed, tell them this. Tommy Thompson, the health and human services secretary under President George W. Bush says,

“When it’s all said and done, you’re not going to be able to repeal health care because President Obama is not going to sign it. And they don’t have enough votes to override a veto, so why push a cart uphill when you know it’s not going to be able to get to the top?”

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Ouch! That’s Gonna Leave A Mark” co-stars former President George W. Bush and former ex-quitting half-term governor of Alaska Sarah Palin. The concensus fifth worst President in the history of our great nation has told friends that Palin is not qualified to be President. “Naming Palin makes Bush think less of McCain as a man,” a Republican official familiar with Bush’s thinking told the Daily News. “He thinks McCain ran a lousy campaign with an unqualified running mate and destroyed any chance of winning by picking Palin.” Heckuva job, McCain.
THIS JUST IN: David Letterman: “[Sarah Palin] says she wants limited government. … Does she mean fewer elected officials? Or few elected officials who will resign in the middle of their term? I think limited government will be perfect for her limited abilities.”
Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

The Ballad Of Davey Crockett song link:


(sung to the television theme song “Ballad Of Davey Crockett”)

Lives in a compound up in Wassilly,
Behind a big fence so Joe can’t see
She got a taste of being “Mavericky”,
So she quit her job as Alaska’s G
Sarah, Sarah Palin, the lipsticked mama bear!

Tea-Baggers follow her where she goes,
Starin’ at their tv’s when she’s on Fox shows
A Palin sighting sets them all aglow,
As she shakes their hands and then takes all their dough
Sarah, Sarah Palin, spreading her hate and fear!

Through Red State woods she’s a marchin’ along,
Makin’ up yarns like her “death panel” song
Her looks are frightenin’ and she smells quite strong,
She’s really just a liar with facts all wrong
Sarah, Sarah Palin, the brain-dead buccaneer!

Letterman said that she dresses like a whore,
Then she screamed so much that her throat got sore
She had money but she needed some more,
Got herself a Greyhound for her book tour
Sarah, Sarah Palin, profiteering pioneer!

She says the Lord is her guiding hand,
And dinosaurs co-existed with man
All those books that disagree should be banned,
That sciencey stuff she don’t understand
Sarah, Sarah Palin, logic she will not hear!

She believes that Congress should go to Hell,
She will send them there by castin’ a witch spell
Palin wants Washington to listen well,
To all those fabrications that she does tell
Sarah, Sarah Palin, the moonbat of the year!

When she goes home her politickin’ done,
Alaskans all will up and run
But Sarah will pick up her trusty gun,
And shoot up all her neighbors just for fun
Sarah, Sarah Palin, her rifle sight is clear!

She moved to Houston an’ Austin so,
To the southern states she just had to go
Tea-Baggers were fightin’ another foe,
And Sarah hates the immigrant Joe
Sarah, Sarah Palin, nativist without peer!

She’s not the smartest but she is dumbest,
Despite six schools could not pass a test
When it comes to being dumb she’s the best,
She should make her home in a cuckoo’s nest
Sarah, Sarah Palin, the lipsticked mama bear!

Thin-Skinned Palin To Run For POTUS?

First of all, Lynnrockets would like to give credit where credit is due for the content of this post. One of the best Alaska blogs in the entire blogosphere, The Mudflats, broke a story yesterday afternoon which hints that an email sent by Todd “Former First Dude” Palin may suggest that Sarah “Queen of Quit” Palin is considering a run for the office of President of the United States.

So as not to steal any thunder from The Mudflats, please read the entire juicy story there. We will simply provide a brief historical background of Todd’s email and a few select quotes therefrom as a set-up for today’s song parody. So, hang on to your seats, as away we go…

You will all remember that Sarah Palin (while wearing her crown as de-facto Queen of the Tea-Baggers) endorsed a very unknown Tea Party candidate named Joe Miller in the Alaskan Republican Senate primary race against heavily favored incumbent Republican Senator (and Palin antagonist) Lisa Murkowski. Well, against all odds, Miller won the primary election and consequently, he is now one of the Tea Party darlings of Fox News. That however, is how a lot of trouble began brewing between Miller and Palin.

You see, the love between Palin and Miller is not mutual. Despite the fact that Palin’s endorsement of Miller was highly instrumental in his primary election victory, Miller will not return the favor by expressing his support of her in a potential White House run. We know this because Miller appeared on Fox News (where else, right?) and when asked if he thought Palin was qualified to be President, he meekly responded only that, “there are a number of great candidates out there.” Not exactly a full fledged endorsement by any stretch of the imagination.

Now this is where the fun begins. Shortly after the Fox News interview was aired, Todd Palin sent an email to the SarahPAC Treasurer (and a bunch of people you can learn more about in the Mudflats post) instructing him to

“Hold off on any letter for Joe. Sarah put her ass on the line for Joe and yet he can’t answer a simple question ‘Is Sarah Palin Qualified to be President’. I DON’T KNOW IF SHE IS.”

Todd then addressed Miller directly in the same email and asked,

“Joe, please explain how this endorsement stuff works, is it to be completely one sided.”

Just what was Todd implying when he asked if “endorsement(s)” were to be “completely one sided”? Was he implying that Sarah Palin was seeking a mutual endorsement from Miller? If so, then for what purpose? Is she planning on running for President? Please do tell, Sarah. Enquiring minds want to know.

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Born To Run song link:


(sung to the Bruce Springsteen song “Born To Run”)

In the day she sweats it out on the streets, she’s a runner-up beauty pageant queen
At night she tears her hair out in worry atop Todd’s snow-machine
Hate filled rages at the five and dime
High heeled, misdirected and sporting a sixties beehive, Whoa
Wasilla town hopes she never comes back
She’s a dumb quack, a political hack
Sarah speaketh with a forked tongue
But tramps like her, baby they were born to run
(yes she will run)

Sarah’s got thin skin but she’ll run again
She can’t find work on television
SarahPAC will cater to her whims
Their dedicated to her mission
Together they will dish out crap
She’ll run till she drops, maybe from a heart attack, Whoa
All her friends, she’ll continue to hire
‘cause baby she wants to be the next “Decider”
But her wagon has lost all its wheels
She behaves like a little child girl, a pitbull refusing to heel
(full of baloney)

(instrumental interlude)

She’s filled with malice right down to the bones buried in her backyard
She casts no reflection in brand new mirrors
Like a vampire caught off guard
Her unfeeling heart, rises cold and dark
A dominatrix with an iron fist
She’s gonna try to befriend thee in the deep dark night
With a wink and a blown kiss, Huhh

(another instrumental)

(one two three four…)

She’s got a bunch of Fox News zeroes that fuel her hopes and drive
Sarah Palin likes you if you are white and have no use for gay pride
Every Wednesday she will give an address
That will reveal all the madness in her soul, Whoa
Someday girl, we don’t know when, you’ll learn that you’re a disgrace
Something we already know, her career will be done
But till then just like puss, Sarah will return to run

Oh, Sarah just like puss, baby we hope that you run

Please believe me, all of us baby, sure hope that you will run

Levi Johnston Says, “I Want MY MTV”

As we’ve said so many times in the past, sometimes these blog entries and song parodies simply write themselves. Today is one of those instances.

The reunited Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston had allegedly shopped around for a reality television series chronicling their upcoming wedding and early day-to-day marriage life. Their efforts failed however, after the networks decided that they were not entertaining and hence were unmarketable. Their joint dreams of fame were at least temporarily squashed, but Levi had another plan. Only this time, Bristol was not in the mix.

Plan B? Well, it has now been revealed that Johnston, the former nude model, will appear in an R&B music video in which he will play a young man driven away from his love interest by the young woman’s mother. Gee, that sounds rather autobiographical doesn’t it? The actual R&B artist is someone known as Brittani Senser.

This should absolutely send Sarah Palin over the edge. It is clear that the half-term, ex-quitting Governor of Alaska is not pleased that her formerly unmarried pregnant teen daughter will now tie the knot with the child’s uneducated and unemployed father. Sarah Palin is a revenge seeker of the highest order (see, Mike Wooten, David Letterman, Joe McGinniss and Lisa Murkowski) and she will be enraged at the fact that the narrative of the song reflects her own previous treatment of Johnston. Remember when she castigated Johnston on Oprah for pursuing a career in porn? It remains to be seen how Sarah “Plain and Stupid” will exact her revenge at this thinly veiled slight by Johnston.

Will she for instance, boycott the wedding? Will she attend the wedding but forget to bring a gift? Will she plan and pay for the newlyweds’ honeymoon trip maybe to North Korea or Iran? Will she hire a ghostwriter to pen a tell-all tome of Johnston? Better yet, perhaps Sarah will utilize a tete-for-tete strategy by means of appearing in her own music video in which she tells the tale of an impregnating stalker of innocent teens. Johnston must be warned that revenge is a dish best served cold.

In honor of the troops, today’s song parody musically illustrates the intriguing Sarah Palin/Levi Johnston relationship. Remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.

The Ballad Of John And Yoko song link:


(Sung to the Beatles song “The Ballad of John and Yoko”)

Posing in a condo in New York,
Levi about to remove his pants
He now has a knack
To annoy SarahPAC
Yet most of them will still want to take a glance

Christ you know it ain’t easy,
You know how hard it can be,
To play second fiddle,
To the Caribou-Barbie.

Sarah claims that she is embarrassed
Really, she just envies his fame
Katie Couric did say,
“Can you pray away gay?”
“And can you point out some newspapers by name?”.

Christ you know it ain’t easy,
Those interviews on TV.
Reviews were not glowing
For the brain-dead Sarah P.

Levi’s camped-out in the Hollywood Hilton,
Media folks want him to speak
The newspapers said,
“What’s going on in your head?”
He said that, “soon I will be on MTV”

Christ you know he loves TV,
His part should earn him a fee
And he loves annoying
His mother-in-law to be

Earning every penny for a rainy day,
Tricking Bristol into marrying,
Know what Sarah said?
“Soon he will be dead!”
But then she will be haunted by his ghost – Think!

Maybe she’ll have Levi arrested.
Palin dignity in free-fall.
Young Bristol will claim,
“My mom is to blame,”
“She always has her henchmen on call”

Christ you know she’s so sleazy
She lies so effortlessly
But Levi is going,
To crucify Sarah P.

How did Mac choose Sarah to begin with?
She is just a political hack.
A dumb “hockey mom”,
That can’t think and chew gum.
Why didn’t he select “Joe Sixpack?”

Christ she makes us uneasy.
In Yiddish we say, “Oy Vey.”
We’d love to replace her
With our good friend, Tina Fey.
We’d love to replace her
With our good friend, Tina Fey.

Mitt(wit) Romney Outpaces Failin’ Palin

The Shark and his Prey

Sarah Palin has recently benefited from a lot of speculation, rumors and self promoting innuendo regarding a potential run for President in 2012. She has been making appearances and injecting herself (in the form of endorsements and campaign contributions) in the local politics of early primary states. She is staying active on the conservative word-salad loving speaking speaking tour. She even added fuel to the fire about a possible run with BFF, Sean Hannity of Faux News recently when she said,

I don’t want to hurt the cause. I don’t want to divide the nation. There’s going to be a lot of contemplation and prayer that goes into a decision like that between now and ’12.

Problem is, despite all the buzz, Palin (the former half-term Governor of Alaska) is being demonstratively outpaced in fundraising by Mitt Romney (the former full-term Governor of Massachusetts and 2008 Republican Presidential candidate). While Ms. Quittypants has been busy courting the Tea-Baggers, endorsing radical candidates and making controversial and abrasive remarks via Facebook and Twitter, Mitt(wit) has been quietly going about the business of coordinating an effective campaign by amassing the most important tool in a candidate’s arsenal – money.

CNN reports that Mitt Romney raised $1.8 million during the second fundraising quarter of this year, far outpacing the other Republicans he may face in the next presidential race. He has also  devoted considerable money to building an extensive national political network, doling out more than $400,000 to various 2010 candidates through his Free and Strong America political action committee and its state-level affiliates. All told, Romney has collected $3.4 million since the beginning of the year – more than double the roughly $1.3 million that each of his next closest rivals in the money chase, Minnesota Gov. Tim Pawlenty and former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin, raised during the same period. Also, with less  than four months until the midterm elections, Romney has nearly $2.2 million left in the bank, giving him the financial muscle necessary to be a power player in Republican politics as November nears.

Conversely, in the second quarter, Palin raised $865,000, according to a report filed with the Federal Election Commission. She spent $87,500 contributing to Republican candidates and has roughly $1 million on hand. Bottom line? Palin is a sprinter that lacks the endurance of marathoner Romney. Palin is a plebian and Romney is a power-broker. Palin is a fad and Romney is a presence.

Despite the fact that Mitt(wit) Romney is a far more credible Presidential candidate (along with many others) than the hollow Palin, don’t you just hope that she throws her hat into the ring for 2012? Imagine all the side-splitting laughs we will have when she is publicly eviscerated (ala Katie Couric) by the serious candidates in the Republican primary debates. Won’t it be a hoot to see her trying to answer a question by means of surreptitiously peeking at her palm-printed crib notes? We can all stare in dumbfounded disbelief as she tries to substitute a flurry of winks, blinks and “Ya Betchas” for coherent responses. Oh, please Run Sarah, Run!

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Y-M-C-A song link:


(sung to the Village People song “Y-M-C-A”)

Sarah, there’s no need to feel down
I said, Sarah, just because you’re a clown
I said, Sarah, a smile isn’t a frown
There’s no need to be unhappy.

Sarah, you lost a race with McCain
I said, Sarah, you flushed him right down the drain
And you messed up all of your interviews
But you’re still on the nightly news

We’ll all laugh at you in 2-0-1-2
We’ll all laugh at you in 2-0-1-2

We’ll have such a good time when you fall on your face,
And we’ll revel in your disgrace…

We’ll all laugh at you in 2-0-1-2
We’ll all laugh at you in 2-0-1-2

You will have SarahPac, and a new running mate
To help spread Politics of Hate…

Sarah, are you listening to me?
I said, Sarah, you’ll have to go on TV
I said, Sarah, I’m sure we’ll laugh till we pee
And you’ve got to know this one thing!

You make a big ass of yourself
Every time that you open your mouth
You give ammo, to our friend Tina Fey
She just repeats the things you say…

We’ll all laugh at you in 2-0-1-2
We’ll all laugh at you in 2-0-1-2

You’ll get all of the votes from the states that are red
But, the G.O.P. is now dead…

We’ll all laugh at you in 2-0-1-2
We’ll all laugh at you in 2-0-1-2

You can wink and then blink, and twit everyone,
But, you’ll need a fork cuz you’re done…

Sarah, you’ll have a case of the blues
I said, Sarah, has no grasp of world views
But that’s OK, cuz she amuses us,
As we throw her under the bus…

That’s when she will realize that,
Her future, is modeling for “Arctic Cat”
Maybe she’ll host a reality show
If they pay her with enough dough.

We’ll all laugh at her in 2-0-1-2
We’ll all laugh at her in 2-0-1-2

She can wink and then blink, and twit everyone,
But, she’ll need a fork cuz she’s done…

We’ll all laugh at her in 2-0-1-2
Sarah, Sarah you’ll wear a big frown
Sarah, Sarah to us you are a clown

We’ll all laugh at her in 2-0-1-2
Sarah, Sarah you’ll have a case of the blues
Sarah, Sarah I said, why don’t you just go vamoos.

Sarah Palin Faces Fantastic Facebook Fan Fallout

As we mentioned in Monday’s post, Sarah Palin is feeling the heat from her Facebook fans over her recent endorsements of John McCain and Carly Fiorina. You see, most of Palin’s followers are of the rabid Tea-Bagger ilk as a consequence of the former ex-quitting Alaska governor’s self proclaimed uber-right-wing conservative political stance and her multiple appearances at Tea Party rallies. Her recent endorsements of McCain and Fiorina however,  have angered her supporters because they heartily endorse each of those candidate’s far more conservative Tea Party approved opponents. Indeed, they elected to voice their dissatisfaction with the educationally challenged Palin via her own Facebook page. Let’s take a look at some of their comments (editor’s note: all spelling and punctuation has been left intact for full Tea-Bagger effect)…

“The only REAL CONSERVATIVE is Chuck DeVore. Fiorina is a RINO and we don’t need any more of those in [California]. Why wouldn’t you back Chuck DeVore???”

“I don’t agree with this endorsement AT ALL! What are you thinking, Sarah?”

“wait a minute, you just asked us to support a Republican whose values we don’t really understand, and if we do understand them correctly, we don’t agree with. What’s going on here?”

“That’s 2 strikes against you, little sister! One more and you’re done. You’re participating in the kind of political payback that us conservatives hate.”

“I too am very disappointed in this endorsement. DeVore is a much better choice. I didn’t understand McCain but figured she was obligated. Now I just don’t trust her judgment at all.”

“Sarah, I am a huge fan of yours. I can forgive you for backing McCain, but..Carly Fiorino is no friend of yours. She didn’t support you when the MSM was attacking. Please rethink your position and support Chuck Devore. Jim DeMint is behind him, the Tea Party Express supports him and you should too.”

“We total understood why she endorsed McCain over J.D. Hayward (and secretly felt that she would be relieved when Hayward beat mcCain and then headed for a strong chance to win in the General Election), but Palin’s endorsement of Fiorna will backfire.”

“Strike 2”

“Bottom line is that this is yet another endorsement for a non-grassroots candidate, and she’s going to take another significant hit to her credibility with her base in exchange for picking a winner,”

“My first thought when I heard about the endorsement was, wow, I guess she doesn’t plan to run in 2012,”

In all, nearly half of the approximately 1800 comments expressed disappointment with the educationally challenged Palin’s endorsements. Sarah Palin has now successfully alienated another segment of this “great nation of ours”. Heck of a job, Sarah! Keep up the good work!
In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Rockin’ Robin song link:


(sung to the Jackson 5 song “Rockin’ Robin”)

Tweetly tweetly tweet
Tweetly tweetly tweet
Tweetly tweetly tweet
Tweetly tweetly tweet
Tweetly tweetly tweet
Tweetly tweetly tweet
Tweet tweet tweet tweet

She twits from the tree tops all day long
Twittin’ and a tweetin’ and singing her song
All of her supporters on C4P
Love to hear their Sarah go tweet tweet tweet

Rockin’ Palin, tweet tweet tweet
Rockin’ Palin, tweet tweetly tweet
D’oh, Rockin’ Palin
‘Cause you really said a croc tonight

Every little message, every cryptic thing
Every little word from the ding-a-ling
She threw in the towel, it’s time to go
Flappin’ her lips every so and so

Rockin’ Palin, tweet tweet tweet
Rockin’ Palin, tweet tweetly tweet
D’oh, Rockin’ Palin
‘Cause you really said a croc tonight

(musical interlude)

Petty little Palin that we just can’t stand
Tells her SarahPAC ers to fork out ten grand
She flirted with the devil and lost her soul
Payin’ legal bills through Kristan Cole

She sucks like a freeze pop all day long
Twittin’ and a tweetin’ and singing her song
All of her supporters on C4P
Love to hear their Sarah go tweet tweet tweet

Rockin’ Palin, tweet tweet tweet
Rockin’ Palin, tweet tweetly tweet
D’oh, Rockin’ Palin
‘Cause you really said a croc tonight

Pretty little Palin just can’t understand
No one likes a beggar holding out her hand
Finding new employment is her next big goal
Her next job is with a stage-mounted pole

She twits from the tree tops all day long
Twittin’ and a tweetin’ and singing her song
All of her supporters on C4P
Love to hear their Sarah go tweet tweet tweet

Rockin’ Palin, tweet tweet tweet
Rockin’ Palin, tweet tweetly tweet
D’oh, Rockin’ Palin
‘Cause you really said a croc tonight

Tweetly tweetly tweet
Tweetly tweetly tweet
Tweetly tweetly tweet
Tweetly tweetly tweet
Tweetly tweetly tweet
Tweetly tweetly tweet
Tweet tweet tweet tweet