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Sarah Palin Boob Tube Theme Songs – Reprise

As the result of a death in our family, we are taking a little bit of a break from posting substantive posts for the next few days. But that is no reason to skip out on some fun song parodies. Inasmuch as Sarah Palin fancies herself the outdoorsy type, we thought we might spoof her with the classic 1960’s theme song from television’s Daniel Boone.

Daniel Boone theme song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qdMA2spF0Bg

SARAH P.

(sung to the theme of “Daniel Boone”)

Sarah P. was a guv.
She was a lame guv.
But McCain was even lamer,
so should we really blame her, golly gee

Sarah P. was a guv.
She was a dumb guv.
But the First Dude was dumber,
so she summoned “Joe the Plumber” to the scene.

From the beehive do on the top of her head
To the spike of her high heeled shoes;
Like a zombie from “Night of the Living Dead”,
She looked so damn confused.

Sarah P. was a guv.
She was a slick guv.
In an attempt to win her hicks back;
Her speeches addressed “Joe Sixpack’ all the time.

Drivin’ demons out with prayer!
A one-time Wasilla mayor, was she!

Sarah P. was a guv.
She was a big guv.
But her quitting nature’s bigger;
So she pulled the quitting trigger, did she.

Sarah P. was a guv.
She was a gun guv.
She loved aerial shootin’;
And would love to blast Mike Wooten from a tree!

She said, “Thanks But No Thanks” and “Drill Baby Drill”
But beyond that had nothin’ to say;
During interviews, she just should have sat still,
Was upstaged by Tina Fey

Sarah P. was a guv.
Was a swine guv.
And she was quite a whiner;
With her lipstick and eye-liner, was she!

Sarah Palin’s Tuesday Night Bad News Boob-Tube Byte

Just when you thought that there could not possibly be another poor poll showing by Sarah Palin, up pops today’s Rasmussen poll. The poll revealed that the former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska trails former full-term Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney and former full-term Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee. This is  another troubling sign for Palin as she continues to ponder a presidential campaign run.

In a potential 2012 presidential showdown, Mr. Huckabee and Mr. Obama currently poll at 43 percent, while Mr. Romney leads Mr. Obama by 2 percent. Meanwhile, Ms. Palin trails Mr. Obama 49 percent to 38 percent. The poll was conducted through all of January 2011.

This is just one more nail in the Palin presidential hopes coffin.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Daniel Boone theme song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qdMA2spF0Bg

SARAH P.

(sung to the theme of “Daniel Boone”)

Sarah P. was a guv Lord above
Lord above

Sarah P. was a guv.
She was a lame guv.
But McCain was even lamer,
so should we really blame her, golly gee

Sarah P. was a guv.
She was a dumb guv.
But the First Dude was dumber,
so she summoned “Joe the Plumber” to the scene.

From the beehive do on the top of her head
To the spike of her high heeled shoes;
Like a zombie from “Night of the Living Dead”,
She looked so damn confused.

Sarah P. was a guv.
She was a slick guv.
In an attempt to win her hicks back;
Her speeches addressed “Joe Sixpack’ all the time.

Drivin’ demons out with prayer!
A one-time Wasilla mayor, was she!

(book banning break)

Sarah P. was a guv.
She was a big guv.
But her quitting nature’s bigger;
So she pulled the quitting trigger, did she.

She said, “Thanks But No Thanks” and “Drill Baby Drill”
But beyond that had nothin’ to say;
During interviews, she just should have sat still,
Was upstaged by Tina Fey

Sarah P. was a guv.
Was a poor guv.
And she won’t lead our country;
We can all now be Palin-free, can’t we

(Thank goodness we’re free)

What a goon, what a loser
Sarah soon will be a boozer won’t she?

What a goon, what a loser
Palin soon will be a boozer won’t she?

Sarah P. was a guv!

Sarah Palin Boob Tube Theme (70′s Edition)

We just cannot get enough of Little Miss Sunshine, so here is a song parody of the theme to the 1970′s sitcom, Three’s Company. Please enjoy as you prepare for Tomorrow’s Super Bowl.

GO PACK, GO !!!

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s Sarah Palin song parody.

Three’s Company theme song link: http://www.televisiontunes.com/Threes_Company.html

Sleaze Company

(sung to the theme of “Three’s Company”)

She’s all for drilling offshore….
Owns Hassleback from “The View”….
Calls herself “Mama Bear” what’s with that hair?
Darn “Mavericky” too.

Was Alaska’s guv’nor….
A quite simple world view….
A hillbilly chick, a “Pitbull with Lipstick”,
A baby mystery too.

She’s not as bright as a candle and mishandles all
interviews….
Folks know she hasn’t a clue,
She’ll see in 2-0-1-2!!!!

A Saturday Night Palin Byte

Just some old Anti-Palin television theme song parody fun for this late January evening. This is actually one of the first parodies that I wrote. I composed it a long time before starting this blog. In those days I was simply posting the songs on comment sections of newspapers and blogs, the most notable of which was The Mudflats. Please enjoy this little bit of Lynnrockets nostalgia while we await the Queen of Quit to utter some new foolish tid-bit for us to parody.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the song parody.

Mary Tyler Moore Show theme link: http://www.televisiontunes.com/Mary_Tyler_Moore_Show_-_CD_Version.html

THE MARY TYLER PALIN  SHOW

(sung to the theme of “The Mary Tyler Moore Show”)

Who’s the pitbull with lipstick on her smile?
Who can take an election campaign, and suddenly make it all
seem futile?
Well its you Sarah, and you did show it
With each incoherent sentence, you sure did blow it

Stupidity abounds, you can almost taste it
What’s that sucking sound coming from your spaced head?
You’re gonna fake it after all

Stupidity abounds, you can almost taste it
What’s that sucking sound coming from your spaced head?
You’re gonna fake it after all

(bad-parenting break)

You want Alaska to secede
You have lots of firearms and girl you know that’s all you need
All the Tea-Baggers adore you
That Thorazine stare will do wonders for you

Stupidity abounds, you can almost taste it
What’s that sucking sound coming from your spaced head?
You’re gonna fake it after all

Stupidity abounds, you can almost taste it
What’s that sucking sound coming from your spaced head?
You’re gonna fake it after all

Stupidity abounds, you can almost taste it all

You went and faked it after all

Sarah Palin: Spudnuts, Hookers, Masturbation And A Whole Lotta Stupid

See No Future, Hear No Future, Speak No Future

I think that we can feel confident in saying that Sarah Palin has jumped the shark. For those of you unfamiliar with the term, “jump the shark” is generally defined as the point in time when a once popular person or thing begins to lose popularity and, in an attempt to regain its former status, veers off course and into the absurd never to recover again. The term originated during a 1977 episode of the once famously popular television sitcom, Happy Days. In that episode, the oh, so cool Fonzie, while water skiing (clad in leather motorcycle jacket and swim trunks) in California, performed a daredevil jump over a confined shark. Critics now refer to that moment as the single point in time when Happy Days hit rock bottom and never recovered. In other words, that was the moment in time when the show “jumped the shark.” Get it?

For those of you that still do not “get it”, let’s go to the tape shall we?

Ok, are we all on board now? Good. Let’s carry on.

Sarah Palin, the once popular Tea Party icon jumped the shark on January 8, 2011 when Democratic Rep. Gabrielle Giffords and 19 others were gunned down by a lunatic who was resorting to his “2nd Amendment remedies”. The previous March, Palin unveiled a very ill-conceived political ad which identified Ms. Giffords by name and placed a sniper-sight symbol over her congressional district. Palin’s ad proved to be eerily predictive of the Tucson massacre.

As the result of her ad and the ultimate shooting, Palin would now be linked to this brutally violent and senseless act forever. Her popularity began to sink. Her attempts at rehabilitating her image via a self-produced video statement (now known as the “I Was The Real Victim Of The Tucson Massacre” speech) and multiple softball interviews on Fox News (where else?) proved unsuccessful. Immediately after the failed rehab effort, all things Palin veered off course and into the absurd.

First she was snubbed by her very own Tea Party when moonbat-crazy Teapublican Michele Bachmann was selected to provide the official Tea Bagger response to President Obama’s State of the Union Address. Not to be out-shined by the emerging Bachmann star, Palin ran to good friend Greta Van Susteren over at Fox News (where else?) to provide her own SOTU retort. Needless to say, it was a doozy. She reinforced the emerging public opinion that, as Karl Rove said, “she lacks the gravitas” to be President when she resorted to the tasteless street lingo of “WTF” when referring to Obama’s oft repeated “Winning the Future” phrase. She then showed that she completely missed the President’s point that Americans should seize the opportunity to expand into the new fields of “green” industry so as to beat foreign nations to the punch when he called this a “sputnik moment”. She also proved (once again) that she has no grasp of history when she claimed that the Soviet sputnik mission drove the country into bankruptcy and subsequent collapse. That was a true “WTF” moment for Alsaka’s “space case”.

More absurdity came when Palin then segwayed into saying that what America needs is a “spudnut” moment. The former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska was referring to a wildly successful donut shop in Washington state known as The Spudnut Shop. It goes without saying (but we will say it anyway) that the owners are friends of the Palin family. She implied that America must concentrate on small business development through less government taxation and regulation. Her analogy was well off base however, because despite what Palin considers to be an environment of far too much taxation and regulation, The Spudnut Shop is prospering. Apparently those taxes and regulation are not impeding the success of The Spudnut shop in the least. Another “WTF” moment for the Queen of Quit.

Next up, we had the National Enquirer breaking the story that Todd Palin was cheating on Sarah with an Alaskan masseuse/prostitute. Of course Sarah took to the Fox airwaves yet again to say that the Anchorage (AK) police have confirmed that no evidence exists which would implicate Todd in the involvement with a prostitution ring. But that is not the point. Nobody reported that her husband was involved in a prostitution ring. It was reported that Todd cheated on Sarah with a woman who happens to be a prostitute. This is a subtle yet very important difference.

Finally, there is the Tracy Morgan episode. The “30 Rock Star” stunned viewers when he appeared on the TNT Network‘s “Inside The NBA” broadcast on Thursday and made lewd remarks about Sarah Palin. Host Charles Barkley asked the funnyman, “Sarah Palin’s good looking, isn’t she?” prompting Morgan to reply, “Now let me tell you something about Sarah Palin man, she’s good masturbation material. The glasses and all that? Great masturbation material.” Morgan’s words are indefensible but they highlight the perception that Sarah Palin is no longer scene as a serious player in the political world. At least in one person’s opinion she has been reduced to a mere object of ridicule.

Lynnrockets’ proclaims that Sarah Palin has jumped the shark!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Happy Days TV theme song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5rqppEj4Dus

Palin Days

(sung to the TV theme of “Happy Days”)

Sunday, Monday, Palin days.
Tuesday, Wednesday, Palin days.
Thursday, Friday, Palin days.
The weekend’s here, that “Bridge to Nowhere”,
“Thanks But Not Thanks” to you.

She prays for hours. To be Big P.
She prays for hours. With the A.I.P.

Hello, “Joe Sixpack” she loves you, “Joe the Plumber” is her type too.
She did it with Todd, she did it with John. she feels like a “pig with lipstick” on!

Sunday, Monday, Palin days.
Tuesday, Wednesday, Palin days.
Thursday, Friday, Palin days.
Saturday, Oh, Tina Fey,
I’ve been dreamin’ all week of you.

She prays for hours. “Caribou Barbie”.
She prays for hours. Who’ll tea-bag me?.

These Palin days, she did resign
These Palin days, she’s a punch-line, Palin days.

Just A Sarah Palin Boob Tube Theme Song

Sarah_television2

This is one of those great television theme songs from the 1970′s when they still had lyrics. Those of you that remember Happy Days are sure to also remember its spinoff, Laverne and Shirley.

Please click on the song link below so as to have much more fun singing along.

Laverne and Shirley theme song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ZmimJGmrUQ

PITBULL AND THE FIRST DUDE

(sung to the TV theme song “Laverne and Shirley”)

One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight
She heels, she grovels, Exxon Oil Incorporated
She went and blew it

Any foolish chance, she’ll take it
Give her any rule, she’ll break it
If you’re not on her team, screw you
Her way or no way

She’s a political hack now
Just like her pal, Johnny Mac now
And Russia’s always within view
“Drill Baby Drill”  Yay!

When she’s talking it’s a lie
Won’t admit that oil’s exhaustible
Palin once rode the short bus
And we all knew it

Dresses like a curbside ho’ now
Daughter Bristol can’t say “no” now
She’s Joe the Plumber’s dream come true
And she wants it her way, not our way
Take it or just screw you
And she wants it her way, not our way
And there’s the First Dude too
They have no clue

Palin Marooned With Tea-Baggers And Mama-Grizzlies

Palin gilligan

Sarah Palin has truly marooned herself on  a lonely political island. Problem is, she is not marooned with the Howells and all of their trunks full of money (just wondering, but why did the Howells bring all that cash on a 3 hour tour anyway?). Unfortunately, she is marooned with the crazy beyond the fringe Tea-Baggers and her own hand picked den of uber-conservative and unelectable Mama-Grizzly candidates.

Since quitting as the Governor of Alaska last year, Sarah Palin has foolishly painted herself into a corner from which she cannot escape without being stained. She has devolved since 2008 from the position of being one of only two individuals to represent the entire Republican Party, to the de-facto figurehead of the radical, racist, homophobic and violent minority faction of the far-right known as the Tea Party. She has further embedded herself with this fringe group by, for the most part, shunning more moderate (and electable) mainstream Republican candidates and endorsing female candidates that espouse the radical agenda of the Tea-Baggers. In so doing, Sarah Palin has not only decreased the election chances of Republican candidates, but she has also alienated herself from the real power-brokers of the G.O.P. and thus minimized her own chances of representing that party in future elections.

Sarah Palin is now the undisputed queen of a sparsely populated island nation.

For those of you that are interested, Lynnrockets will be attending a concert tonight at storied Fenway Park in Boston. The lineup is my all-time favorite band, the rarely reunited J. Geils Band and Aerosmith. Both bands are Boston based. It is requested that you send out your vibes to the deity of good weather. I’ll report on the show tomorrow.

Gilligan’s Island theme link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QiyIiPmppTY

SARAH’S ISLAND

(Sung to the theme of “Gilligan’s Island”)

Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale
A tale of a strange kinship
That started with the First Dude, Todd
And ends with Baby Tripp

Wife Sarah was Alaska’s guv’nor
Her husband a drop-out
Five children with really strange names
Hillbillies there’s no doubt.    Hillbillies there’s no doubt.

The election started getting rough
Mack needed a V.P.
He focused his attention on the Great White North
His savior Sarah P.    His savior Sarah P.

She could not handle interviews her strategy was
Senile
Too “Mavericky”
“You Betcha’s” too
“Joes Sixpack and the Plumber”
“Hockey Moms”
“The Pitbull with Lipstick on”
and, a Beehive hairstyle.

So this is the tale of the Palin Clan
The campaign was reduced to dust
Bristol had a baby boy
Levi’s mom, a bust

Sarah and her husband, Todd
Returned to the family nest
She had some softball interviews
Tough issues weren’t addressed

No Charles, no Kate, no CNN
Sure no M-S-N-B-C
They all use “Gotcha Questions”
That’s not her cup of tea

So join them here each week good friends
Fox, you can stay awhile
Greta and Hasselback will be here too

Here on “Palins Isle”

Sump Pumps And Sarah Palin Both Suck

First she appeared before the Bowling League Convention. Next it was the Liquor Wholesalers’ Convention and Wednesday Sarah Palin spoke at an event sponsored by a firm that specializes in the manufacture of battery backup sump pump systems. Really, can it get any better than this? What is next, the Toilet Scrubber Convention?

We will not even get into the content of her speech. Suffice to say it included the words, “rogue”, “hope-y change-y”, “clinging to guns and religion”, “socialism”, “Obama Care” and a completely inane diatribe having something to do with a girls’ high school basketball team and the new Arizona racist immigrant law. You know, the usual Palin word salad.

This is a beautiful Saturday here in Boston, so let’s just pull out one of our old Sarah Palin television theme parodies.

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song.

Gilligan’s Island theme link: http://www.televisiontunes.com/Gilligans_Island.html

SARAH’S ISLAND

(Sung to the theme of tv’s “Gilligan’s Island”)

Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale
A tale of a strange kinship
That started with the First Dude, Todd
And ends with Baby Tripp

Wife Sarah was Alaska’s guv’nor
Her husband a drop-out
Five children with really strange names
Hillbillies there’s no doubt.    Hillbillies there’s no doubt.

The election started getting rough
Mack needed a V.P.
He focused his attention on the Great White North
His savior Sarah P.    His savior Sarah P.

She could not handle interviews her strategy was
Senile
Too “Mavericky”
“You Betcha’s” too
“Joes Sixpack and the Plumber”
“Hockey Moms”
“The Pitbull with Lipstick on”
and, a Beehive hairstyle.

So this is the tale of the Palin Clan
The campaign was reduced to dust
Bristol had a baby boy
Levi’s mom, a bust

Sarah and her husband, Todd
Returned to the family nest
She had some softball interviews
Tough issues weren’t addressed

No Charles, no Kate, no CNN
Sure no M-S-N-B-C
They all use “Gotcha Questions”
That’s not her cup of tea

So join them here each week good friends
Fox, you can stay awhile
Greta and Hasselback will be here too

Here on “Palins Isle”

I Got Nothin’

Ever have one of those days when you find that you are simply unprepared for the day’s events? You know, forgot your homework; didn’t study enough for the big test; ill prepared for the work presentation (or in my case, court hearing); forgot clean underwear and had that car accident your parents warned you about? Well, I’m having one of those days today. Consequently, there will be none of the usual incisive, comprehensively researched, yet fun Republican bashing this morning.

Over the weekend we had a number of family events to attend. Additionally, although trivial in comparison to the Gulf oil spill or the deadly storms in the South-East, we had a massive water main break in Boston this weekend which has left numerous cities and towns either boiling water or getting sick. I’m OK, the dog got sick. Oops, my bad! Finally, as the result of Noah-like flooding in Boston in March, both the IRS and the state Dept. of Revenue were kind enough to grant Bostonians an extension for tax filing until May 11th. Unfortunately, I took advantage of the extension and now I must attend to those taxes. Hey Tea-Baggers, please keep in mind that I am not complaining about the amount of taxes that I will pay, but only the process of preparing the returns.

So, here I sit this morning at my desk gathering paperwork and drinking a nice cold refreshing glass of water… Oh, No. Well, I’m off to the bathroom. I hope to have a more on topic post later. In the meantime, please enjoy a simple upbeat television theme song parody about Sarah Palin.

Almost forgot. Congratulations to the Boston Bruins for their game one overtime victory over the Philadelphia Flyers on Saturday afternoon. Game two is tonight at 7:00 p.m. EST.

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Laverne and Shirley theme song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ZmimJGmrUQ

PITBULL AND FIRST DUDE

(sung to the TV theme song “Laverne and Shirley”)

One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight
She heels, she grovels, Exxon Oil Incorporated
She went and blew it

Any foolish chance, she’ll take it
Give her any rule, she’ll break it
If you’re not on her team, screw you
Her way or no way

She’s a political hack now
Just like her pal, Johnny Mac now
And Russia’s always within view
“Drill Baby Drill”  Yay!

When she’s talking it’s a lie
Won’t admit that oil’s exhaustible
Palin once rode the short bus
And we all knew it

Dresses like a curbside ho’ now
Daughter Bristol can’t say “no” now
She’s Joe the Plumber’s dream come true
And she wants it her way, not our way
Take it or just screw you
And she wants it her way, not our way

Makin’ her dreams come true

Screw me and you

Romney Debuts “The Mittwit Two-Step” On Dancing With The Stars

Two Mitt Romney supporters.

There is an old saying about the weather in New England; “If you don’t like it today, stick around because it will change tomorrow”. They same can be said about former Massachusetts Governor and Republican Presidential candidate Mitt Romney. If you do not like his position on a particular issue today, stick around because he will change his position tomorrow. He is, without doubt, the biggest flip-flopper in politics.

While running for the US Senate against Ted Kennedy in 1994 (by the way, Romney got shellacked) and later while running for Governor of Massachusetts, the Mittwit was firmly pro-choice. While running for President in 2008 however, he claimed that he has always been pro-life. While Governor of Massachusetts, Romney signed strict gun control legislation into law. Later, while running for President, he actually became a member of the NRA and said he has always believed in the sanctity of the right to bear arms. Most recently, he has railed against the newly enacted health care reform law despite the fact that while Governor of Massachusetts, he signed into law the Commonwealth’s far more left leaning health reform law. Mittwit Romney is truly a Flipper.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more singing along with today’s topical, song parody. Please enjoy!

Flipper theme song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sH48uuofr60

FLIP-MITT

(sung to the TV theme of “Flipper)

They call him Flip-Mitt, Flip-Mitt, his change of mind, frightening,
That Mitt Romney;  No veracity,
And we know Flip-Mitt, just loves to steal his own thunder,
Mind gone asunder; flip-flop does he!

Everyone knows, dear ol’ Mitt Romney
Changes his mind oh, so frequently,
Changes his views to impress his peers,
Says anything to induce cheers

They call him Flip-Mitt, Flip-Mitt, in need of enlightening,
No one you see, is impressed with he,
And we know Flip-Mitt and his cronies must all wonder,
Just how he blunders effortlessly.

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