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Let’s Be Blunt: Sarah Palin Is A Hypocritical Moron !!!

Hong Kong's hottest selling t-shirt.

Hong Kong's hottest selling t-shirt.

Enough is enough. Sarah Palin is a hypocritical moron. Is she so stupid or dare we say, insane that she does not realize that people have electronic recording devices in this day and age?

Does she not remember way back during her failed presidential campaign when she commented about Barack Obama apologizing and/or making negative comments about the United States while he was traveling in Europe? Remember all that talk about how it was OK to criticize this nation’s administration while on home soil but never while abroad. Was she spoon-fed those lines because apparently she has forgotten them now.

This week while delivering a ghostwritten speech in Hong Kong, the feeble-minded Palin decided to criticize the Obama administration’s policies while on communist soil. We can understand how the educationally challenged Palin may have misunderstood the meaning of China’s Red State status, but shouldn’t one of her many babysitters (oops, I mean handlers) have pointed out the difference between China and Utah? Then again, it wouldn’t surprise us at all if Palin chose to surround herself with a staff that is as brain-dead as she is.

As we understand it, Sarah Palin the erstwhile patriot referred to Barack Obama’s intended domestic policies as “nebulous and utopian sounding.” Way to stick up for your nation you conehead. She want on to say that Obama’s policies help only large corporations while, “Of course the little guys are left out then. We’re left holding the bag, all the moms and pops all over America.” Way to support your government you treasonous idiot.

Now that we have that out of our system, shall we proceed to today’s anti-Palin song parody?

In honor of the troops, please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.

Everybody’s Talkin’ song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e8HL4WRp_Qk

SARAH PALIN’S TALKIN’

(sung to the Harry Nilsson version of the song “Everybody’s Talkin’”)

Sarah Palin’s talkin’ at me
Can’t understand a word she’s saying
She has a really troubled mind

People stopping, staring
Standing in their places
Palin’s just blinking both her eye
s

Her brain is where the sun ain’t shining
Thinking is a strain
Like dead fish, she’s “goin’ with the flow”
Palin is just a bag of wind
Craving attention, please
She’s hoping that her supporters throw a bone

(musical interlude)

It’s no wonder that she’s been hiding
She might be insane
As for Prozac, she could use a dose
If she gives up then we all win
She could then strip-tease
And she could use that dancing pole as her throne

Sarah Palin’s talkin’ at me
Can’t hear a word she’s saying
Only the echoes of her whines

I just hope she’ll leave in double time

Oh, I just hope she le-ee-ee-eaves

I just hope she’ll leave in double time

Sarah Palin Is A Flip-Flopping Idiot

palinIdiot

We all agree that Sarah Palin is an idiot. Did you know however, that she is a flip-flopping idiot? The first clue to her self reversals was during her failed vice presidential campaign when she claimed that she said, “thanks, but no thanks” to that Alaskan bridge to nowhere. Of course, we all learned thereafter that she was in fact, in favor of the bridge to nowhere.

Well folks, the Alaska Disaster has done it again. We have now learned that during her press coveragefree speech in Hong Kong this week she said this of the cause of the global economic meltdown,

“We got into this mess because of government interference in the first place,” the former Republican U.S. vice presidential candidate said Wednesday at a conference sponsored by investment firm CLSA Asia-Pacific Markets. “We’re not interested in government fixes, we’re interested in freedom,”

Palin made it perfectly clear that she does not believe the government can help “fix” the problem. She is a strict capitalist that believes only the “freedom” of the marketplace can alleviate  economic ills.

So then, how does Palin explain what she told Katie Couric during her disastrous interview one year ago today, which was,

“Ultimately, what the bailout does is help those who are concerned about the health care reform that is needed to help shore up the economy- Helping the — Oh, it’s got to be about job creation too. Shoring up our economy and putting it back on the right track. So health care reform and reducing taxes and reining in spending has got to accompany tax reductions and tax relief for Americans.”

Now putting aside for the moment the fact that the last quotation is mostly incomprehensible gibberish-like Palin-speak, let’s try to figure out what she said. OK, the first sentence is completely stupid in that she says that what the bailout does is help those who are concerned about the health care reform that is needed to help shore up the economy. WTF? The bailout helps those who are concerned about health care reform?

Moving right along however, she then says that the government bailout will shore up the economy and put it on the right track. So, in Palin’s world government fixes (i.e. bailout) shore up the economy and put it on the right track, but we’re not interested in government fixes. This Palin moron is a walking, talking, living contradiction.

In honor of the troops, please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the song parody.

Flipper theme song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IcA-ChaGdYw

SARAH

(sung to the TV theme of “Flipper)

They call her Sarah, Sarah, her beehive is frightening,
No one could be, as clueless as she,
And we know Sarah, lost an election that stunned her,
Interview blunders, on the T.V.!

“Ya Betcha” we saw, how vapid was she,
Yet she saw herself, as darn “Mavericky”,
She talked of a bridge, off to nowhere,
Referred to herself as a tough “Mama Bear”!

They call her Sarah, Sarah, in need of enlightening,
No one you see, was impressed with she,
And we know Sarah, lacked strong college education,
Unwed procreation, was more up her tree!


Sarah Palin Is In Over Her Head

Sarah Palin trying to answer a question at the hong Kong Investors' Forum

Sarah Palin trying to answer a question at the Hong Kong Investors' Forum

As you know, Sarah Palin’s speech at the Hong Kong Investors’ Forum on September 23, 2009 was closed to the press. This is quite understandable when one considers that we have no idea if the event sponsors were being serious when they invited her to speak, or if it is some type of wonderful practical joke in which they  burst out in laughter at her inability to converse on the subject of international investment. I am guessing that the latter is the more likely scenario.

By the way, Bloomberg has reported on the speech in part as such,

She started the speech with the Alaskan fishing industry, which I think is a safe topic for her,” said Suyeon An of RCM Asia Pacific Ltd, who left before Palin stopped talking. “She was avoiding the important economic issues. She tried to talk some about Hong Kong in general, but it was nothing specific. It was a very safe speech, boring I have to say.

The Standard reports,

Two US delegates left early, with one saying ”It was awful, we couldn’t stand it any longer”. He declined to be identified.

By this time, Palin must be feeling that she was in way over her head regarding the subject matter she was expected to be conversant in. Can you imagine the thoughts that must have been floating around in that empty skull of hers? Well we can, so please enjoy this autobiographical song parody about Ms. Palin’s Hong Kong speech.

In honor of the troops, please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the song parody.

Over My Head song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=auGszSQo0y4

I’M OVER MY HEAD

(sung to the Fleetwood Mac song “Over My Head”)

They say Hong Kong is paradise
Before going there, I should have thought twice
I’m over my head
But I like the rice

Nothing to say when I take that mike
I’m just a clown and yet they just might, think I’m crazy,
It’s such a plight

My thoughts are like a ferris wheel
They’re spinning all the time
Sometimes I can’t help but feel
That I’m losing all of my mind

Over my head Mmmm …

I hope I don’t just grunt and squeal
Perhaps I better mime
Why did I accept this deal
For a measly couple of dimes

They’ll be staring at my backside
I will be losing all of my pride
I’m over my head
And it don’t feel nice

I’m over my head
And it don’t feel nice

I’m over my head
And it don’t feel nice

Sarah Palin’s Hong Kong Sing Along

Sarah Palin waves to the First Dude as she leaves for Hong Kong.

Sarah Palin waves to the First Dude as she leaves for Hong Kong.

There have been no juicy updates this last week as to the details surrounding Sarah Palin’s guest speaking appearance at the CLSA forum in Hong Kong on September 23rd. We have learned however, that the event will be closed to the press. As Keith Olbermann said last night, this is interesting because Palin will be palling around with communists while restricting access to the democratic free press.We still do not know if the event organizers believe that the quitting ex-governor of Alaska actually has something meaningful to offer this group of investors or if her invitation is actually some sort of practical joke. The safe money however, is on the latter.

Please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody also, too.

Leaving On A Jet Plane song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f4hsC0nRvZM

LEAVING ON A JET PLANE

(sung to the John Denver song “Leaving On A Jet Plane”)

All her bags are packed, she’ll “go with the flow”
Dressed like a flight attendant ‘ho
To save some dough Palin will fly stand-by
The “First Dude” must stay home, he’s so forlorn
Stapleton’s waiting, she’s blowing her horn
There’s so much stuff in Hong Kong she will buy

She’s bitchy yet smiles with glee
Giddy that they’ll pay her fee
She’s more famous now than Plumber Joe
She’s leavin’ on a jet plane
We hope that she won’t come back again
We love to see her go

At Kai Tak Airport her plane sets down
Nobody greets her with a crown
Don’t those Asians even know a thing?
She hopes that her room has a nice view
She hopes that she can see Russia too
Damn, she forgot that present for their king

She’s bitchy yet smiles with glee
Giddy that they’ll pay her fee
She’s more famous now than Plumber Joe
She’s leavin’ on a jet plane
We hope that she won’t come back again
We love to see her go

Now the time has come, her debut
They will learn, she has no clue
Averted eyes hope she fades away
They didn’t know she was dumb
Now they want her to just go home
Boarding that jet plane without delay

She’s bitchy yet smiles with glee
Happy that they paid her fee
Thinking of the ways she’ll spend her dough
She’s leavin’ on a jet plane
That Hong Kong trip was such a pain
She should have just said “no”

She’s leavin’ on a jet plane
That Hong Kong trip was such a pain
Why not pull a “no-show”?

Sarah Palin, The Hong Kong Ding Dong

The reason Sarah Palin's speech in Hong Kong will be closed to the press.

The reason Sarah Palin's speech in Hong Kong will be closed to the press.

It is being widely reported that Sarah Palin’s speech at the CLSA forum in Hong Kong on September 23rd will be closed to the public and the press. We can understand why this is the case in that the event organizers certainly want to keep the laughs in-house as further enticement to join their investors’ group and to sell more tickets. Let’s face it, even Carrottop’s comedy show is available only to ticket purchasers.

Not to worry though. We here at Lynnrockets’ Blast-Off have been provided a leaked copy of Palin’s speech. Well, actually we were told that it could be found in the comment section of  ThinkProgress (here is the link at #57). in any event here is the alleged text of her speech:

From the Kitchen Office of The Governor of the Republic Of Alaska

Well hiya, Honk Ong.

Ya know, I always wondered where Sushi came from, and now I know. Hey congratulations on gaining your freedom from those Commies in 1999.

As a foremost expert on Energies and such I asked my son Trig if I should accept your offer to speak here tonight and he said hell-yeah!
Ya know the only thing more precious than a child, is a vision of an economic that ensures the greatness of achievements so the taxpayers freedoms remain free, like our founding fathers did before our childrens future, which is what I’m fighting for but the media won’t let me because they keep making things up also and I wish they’d just quit it ya know?
Because Governing Alaska is just a leetle bit more qualifying than organizing black kids, you betcha, so that’s why I’m not quitting because basketball moms know the difference between helicopter wolf-hunting and clothes-shopping and when you read all the newspapers like I do you have to ask yourself the hard questions and get things done while protecting your shores because, as a mother, I have a fridge magnet that inspires me every day to keep going and keep fighting for things that are need to be done so that our kids can’t be indoctrinated by the nay-sayers who aren’t real Americans from which we can learn politics as usual isn’t what I’m all about and we should all ask ourselves, in what context? Also.

Thank You.

If this proves not to be the actual speech, don’t worry. In this day and age of cell phones, digital recording devices, etc., we are sure that the word salad will leak out. until then, please enjoy today’s song parody which seems quite appropriate. remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along.

Maxwell’s Silver Hammer song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HzsL99OO8_s

SARAH’S SILLY GRAMMAR

(sung to the The Beatles song “Maxwell’s Silver Hammer”)

Palin castigates and she miscommunicates
Speaking words unknown
She repeats and drones in a grating tone
Oh, oh, oh

She needs medicine, we’re in need of Excedrin
When she whines and moans
She knows fewer words than ol’ Fred Flinstone
Oh, oh, oh

She’s not as bright as that Plumber, Joe
And dresses like a whore

Slang!, slang!, Sarah’s silly grammar
That spews from out her head
Slang!, slang!, Sarah’s silly grammar
Her language we all dread

Safety schools back then, Sarah had no acumen
Could not stay employed
Wishing to avoid an unpleasant scene
Ee, ee, een

She can’t help but pray for luck each election day
Though she should resign
Working with a mind that is oh, so slow
Oh, oh, oh

She only aggravates and annoys
And gets in ethics binds

Slang!, slang!, Sarah’s silly grammar
That spews from out her head
Slang!, slang!, Sarah’s silly grammar
Her language we all dread

By age forty-one, Palin was a dirty one
Sitting on her throne
Giving state jobs to all her friends from home
Oh, oh, oh

Quacking like a mallard while tossing a word salad
Sarah gives a speech
The words are just out of reach, it’s darn sloppy prose
Oh, oh, oh

And as the words are leaving her lips
She gets much more tongue tied

Slang!, slang!, Sarah’s silly grammar
That spews from out her head
Slang!, slang!, Sarah’s silly grammar
Her language we all dread

Silly grammar gal

Hong Kong Phooey

Palin explains at CLSA Forum how she likes her Asian men.

Palin explains at CLSA Forum how she likes her Asian men.

There have been no updates thus far over the Labor Day weekend as to the details surrounding Sarah Palin’s guest speaking appearance at the CLSA forum in Hong Kong on September 23rd. We still do not know if the event organizers believe that the quitting ex-governor of Alaska actually has something meaningful to offer this group of investors or if her invitation is actually some sort of practical joke. The safe money however, is on the latter. Stay tuned.

Nonetheless, we have learned that the verbally challenged Republican is offering to have dinner with the highest bidder at a charity auction. The opening bid for this gastrointestinal disaster is $ 25,000.00 and the unlucky winner will have to foot the bill for travel to Alaska. This sure seems like a hefty price for a helping of Palin’s famous word salad. Perhaps there will also be a side dish of chop suey in honor of her friends in the neighboring country of Hong Kong.

In honor of the troops, please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along to the parody.

Downtown song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WUSYb3igXzI

HONG KONG

(sung to the Petula Clark song “Downtown”)

When she’s not home cuz life is making her lonely
Know where Palin goes? – Hong Kong
She’ll have to hurry just to avoid snow flurries
And she hates the snow – Hong Kong
We all knew she would lose it staying in Wasilla City
Standing on a sidewalk like a hooker that we pity
Sarah’s a flooze

The lights are much brighter there
She can take a bath with bubbles, and do up her hair
She’ll go Hong Kong, things’ll be great there in
Hong Kong – she’ll do some face paintin’
Hong Kong – she’ll even buy some new shoes

Up above ground she’ll order champagne around two
And “go with the flow” – Hong Kong
Then Sixpack Joe will know some places to go
And she’ll buy new clothes – Hong Kong
She thinks she’ll be a shining star just like a super nova
But does she know that she’ll explode; stardom will be over
‘fore it begins?

The heights are much higher there
All the intensity doubles as will all her fears
Down in Hong Kong – she’ll be uptight alright
Hong Kong – without a clue that night
Hong Kong – Palin is no sacred cow

(musical interlude)

She’ll never find somebody kind that understands her world view
Someone who has got a clue not someone like the First Dude
Tagging along

She’ll see that life is not fair
She will leave town on the double, she’ll get out of there
No more Hong Kong, she will escape those shores
Hong Kong – She’ll head right out the door
Hong Kong – she’ll head straight back to Mat-Su

Hong Kong, Hong Kong, Hong Kong, Hong Kong

Simple Sarah Says…

Palin Simple simon

Wouldn’t it be funny if, while in Hong Kong at the CLSA Investors’ Forum, the quitting ex-governor of Alaska, Sarah Palin experiences a technical difficulty. Imagine that she forgets her speech or her teleprompter breaks down and she is forced to entertain the attendees by shooting from the hip (hopefully not with her trusted sidearm). What could she possibly think of to talk about or do?

Asians love “karaoke”, but then again she would need the teleprompter because we know that she could not possibly remember the lyrics to any song other than “Rock-A-Bye-Baby.” Charades maybe? No, the cultural differences would make that too difficult. I know! She could entertain everyone with a simple game that is cross-cultural and only requires that you mimic the game leader. Palin could launch into a game of “Simple Sarah Says.” What’s that, you don’t know this game? Well, just sit back and follow the instructions in today’s song parody. You are sure to have a blast.

In honor of the troops, please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.

Simon Says song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JTBpafu_DE8&feature=PlayList&p=C7BA3DA90EF5F781&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=6

SIMPLE SARAH SAYS

(sung to the 1910 Fruitgum Company song “Simon Says”)

She likes to play a game,
That is so much fun,
And it’s something even she can do,
The name of the game is “Simple Sarah Says”,
And she would like for you to play it too

Put style gel in your hair,
Simple Sarah says,
Lipstick on your mouth,
Simple Sarah says,
Do it when Palin says,
Simple Sarah says,
And they will vote you right out

Simple Sarah says,
Put glasses on your head,
Don some pants that stretch,
Sarah says,

Simple Sarah says,
Get Bristol out of bed,
That Levi is stiff,
Sarah says,

A beehive on your head,
Simple Sarah says,
The First Dude by your side,
Simple Sarah says,
Hate speech for the left,
Simple Sarah says,
Kind words for the right

(musical interlude)

F-me pumps that are red,
Simple Sarah says,
A gun strapped to your side,
Simple Sarah says,
Diversity left,
Simple Sarah says,
Only whites on the right

Now that we have learned,
To play this game with she,
Sarah Palin has something to do,
Let’s try it once again,
We’ll mimic Sarah P.,
But let’s do it while we’re drinking too

Go kill a polar bear,
Simple Sarah says,
Give your shoes a shine,
Simple Sarah says,
Dress yourself like a whore,
Simple Sarah says,
Ah, you’re looking fine,
Simple Sarah says,
Now, interview if you dare,
Simple Sarah says,
Mingle with the slime,
Simple Sarah says,
Get your ass out the door,
Simple Sarah says,
Make it double time

Let’s Put Palin On The Orient Express

Palin pens instructions for Christian baptism on baby in Hong Kong

Palin pens instructions for, and demonstrates Christian baptism on baby in Hong Kong

The quitter, Sarah Palin is truly an example of the pot calling the kettle black. She spent most of last Fall critcizing Barack Obama for “palling around with terrorists” and yet now she finds herself “palling around with Communists.” What gives , you ask? Well, the group known as CLSA Investors’ Forum ( Credit Lyonnais Securities Asia), has announced that the erstwhile “pitbull with lipstick” will be a keynote speaker at its conference scheduled for September 23, 2009 in Hong Kong.

You might wonder, what on God’s green earth would prompt these people of Hong Kong to desire Sarah Palin as a speaker on the subject of, ready for this? Geopolitcs. Well, I am still trying to figure out why Jerry Lewis was so popular in France. Then again, have you ever watched any of those Asian game shows? Pretty strange, huh? Maybe it is just that type of love of strangeness that explains the attraction to Palin. I cannot think of any other reason.

Of course, the biggest question of all is, will she even show up for the event? As we all know, she has been a no show at four consecutive speaking engagements in which she has accepted an invitation. Consequently, we all look forward to the days just before September 23rd.

In honor of the troops, please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.

On A Slow Boat To China song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oTyZAM4ROQQ

SLOW BOAT TO CHINA

(sung to the Kay Kyser version of the song “On A Slow Boat to China”)

She’ll put a curse on Hong Kong
But not before I lambaste her in this song
And say that…

I’d love to put her
On a slow boat to China
All by herself alone
I hope they lock her in a room without doors
The Palin lovers
Won’t have her ass to kiss no more
They’ll miss her tiny
Red leather skirted hiney
Sitting upon her throne
Honey, I’d love to put her
On a slow boat to China
And hope she can’t get home

(musical interlude)

Let’s all put Sarah
On a slow boat to China
Without her prized cell phone
A twist in the rudder and a rip in the sail
Crying and screaming
Maybe she’ll be beached like a whale
No suntan lotion
She might brew up a potion
Cuz she’s a witch-like crone
Let’s put dear Sarah on a slow boat to China
All by herself with nobody else
Yes, she’ll never get back home